1
00:00:03,285 --> 00:00:05,417
This is such a fun way
to celebrate

2
00:00:05,461 --> 00:00:07,376
you guys finishing
the mini mall.

3
00:00:07,419 --> 00:00:09,769
Hey, did Lisa say what
our next project is?
Mm-mm.

4
00:00:09,813 --> 00:00:13,425
The next project
I will be working on is...

5
00:00:13,469 --> 00:00:14,774
myself!

6
00:00:14,818 --> 00:00:16,602
I'm going
on sabbatical.

7
00:00:16,646 --> 00:00:18,387
So what are we gonna
be building?

8
00:00:18,430 --> 00:00:19,953
Well, I don't know
about you two,

9
00:00:19,997 --> 00:00:21,999
but I'll be building a new me.

10
00:00:22,043 --> 00:00:25,394
She might have to take that
thing down to the studs.

11
00:00:25,437 --> 00:00:28,397
We just lost our jobs.

12
00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:30,486
This commercial is important
to Burns Brothers,

13
00:00:30,529 --> 00:00:32,314
so I think I should meet
the guy who's playing me.

14
00:00:32,357 --> 00:00:34,316
I'm Leif Forrest.
I'm sorry?

15
00:00:34,359 --> 00:00:35,839
Leif... Forrest.

16
00:00:35,882 --> 00:00:37,580
[laughing]

17
00:00:37,623 --> 00:00:40,365
What's the matter?
I just got laid off.

18
00:00:40,409 --> 00:00:42,237
I guess now
neither of us are working.

19
00:00:43,977 --> 00:00:45,414
[horn honking]

20
00:00:45,457 --> 00:00:47,807
Oh, okay, kids.
Your carpool's here.

21
00:00:47,851 --> 00:00:50,419
You guys aren't
going anywhere today?

22
00:00:50,462 --> 00:00:53,117
Teddy, I told you
we're temporarily unemployed.

23
00:00:53,161 --> 00:00:54,466
I want to be unemployed.

24
00:00:54,510 --> 00:00:57,426
Oh, you will be.

25
00:00:57,469 --> 00:01:00,342
Okay, let's not be
so honest. Come on.

26
00:01:02,518 --> 00:01:05,129
So we're busting
our humps all day

27
00:01:05,173 --> 00:01:06,565
while you two get
to sit around?

28
00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:09,481
Yeah, it's like
we're the kids now.

29
00:01:09,525 --> 00:01:11,744
Bring us back some food
and money.

30
00:01:13,877 --> 00:01:15,574
[giggles]
[giggles]

31
00:01:15,618 --> 00:01:17,837
Ah, look at us.

32
00:01:17,881 --> 00:01:19,535
We got the house
to ourselves.

33
00:01:19,578 --> 00:01:22,407
You know, we should
make the most of this.

34
00:01:22,451 --> 00:01:24,627
Yeah, well, we're not
gonna be unemployed long.

35
00:01:24,670 --> 00:01:27,630
I got my commercial running,
you sent out résumés.

36
00:01:27,673 --> 00:01:31,634
Oh, and they really stand out
'cause they include a bribe.

37
00:01:31,677 --> 00:01:34,680
See, I clipped a Starbucks
gift card to each one.

38
00:01:34,724 --> 00:01:37,335
Andi, those
things cost money.

39
00:01:37,379 --> 00:01:39,859
Not if you don't
put any money on it.

40
00:01:39,903 --> 00:01:42,862
That's my girl.

41
00:01:42,906 --> 00:01:46,605
[laughs]
My thrifty,
morally-challenged girl.

42
00:01:46,649 --> 00:01:49,391
[laughs]
See, this is what
I'm talking about.

43
00:01:49,434 --> 00:01:51,697
We should just enjoy
being together.

44
00:01:51,741 --> 00:01:54,613
Yeah. You're my
favorite person.

45
00:01:54,657 --> 00:01:56,702
I'm your favorite person.

46
00:01:56,746 --> 00:01:58,530
We're like those two
trees in the backyard

47
00:01:58,574 --> 00:02:00,097
that grow closer
together every year.

48
00:02:00,141 --> 00:02:02,665
Oh. That is poetic.

49
00:02:02,708 --> 00:02:04,580
I love your stories.

50
00:02:04,623 --> 00:02:06,756
It's so charming
how you see the world.
Oh.

51
00:02:06,799 --> 00:02:08,975
You know, that boy tree
is ten years younger

52
00:02:09,019 --> 00:02:11,195
than the girl tree.
Pretty good for her, huh?

53
00:02:11,239 --> 00:02:12,457
Yeah.

54
00:02:12,501 --> 00:02:14,372
[both laughing]

55
00:02:14,416 --> 00:02:16,548
Oh, yeah, come on. Get
those puppies up here.

56
00:02:16,592 --> 00:02:18,507
[laughs]
So...
[clears throat]

57
00:02:18,550 --> 00:02:20,117
What should we do today?

58
00:02:20,161 --> 00:02:23,512
I say that we watch TV,
and only get up

59
00:02:23,555 --> 00:02:26,515
when we need to replace
the batteries in the remote.

60
00:02:26,558 --> 00:02:28,125
I do not deserve you.

61
00:02:28,169 --> 00:02:29,605
[giggles]

62
00:02:29,648 --> 00:02:32,521
No man does.

63
00:02:40,703 --> 00:02:43,271
Yesterday when I was
getting the mail,

64
00:02:43,314 --> 00:02:47,405
I saw this caterpillar inching
his way down the sidewalk.

65
00:02:47,449 --> 00:02:49,407
It looked exactly like...

66
00:02:49,451 --> 00:02:50,887
BOTH:
The neighbor lady's mustache.

67
00:02:50,930 --> 00:02:52,149
Yeah.

68
00:02:53,977 --> 00:02:56,022
You've told
that story twice.

69
00:02:56,066 --> 00:02:59,200
Thought I was poetic.

70
00:02:59,243 --> 00:03:02,594
People repeat poems.

71
00:03:02,638 --> 00:03:05,554
Might I remind you of the
"Man from Nantucket" series?

72
00:03:05,597 --> 00:03:07,599
As in, "There once was
a man from Nantucket"?

73
00:03:07,643 --> 00:03:10,123
Okay, yeah, yeah, I got it.

74
00:03:11,647 --> 00:03:14,084
[sighs]

75
00:03:16,304 --> 00:03:19,568
Uh... what's this?

76
00:03:20,656 --> 00:03:22,527
My puppies.
[laughs]

77
00:03:22,571 --> 00:03:25,530
[barks]:
Arf, arf.

78
00:03:27,706 --> 00:03:29,752
Foot person gets
the remote, too?

79
00:03:29,795 --> 00:03:31,841
Ugh. I guess the
rich get richer.

80
00:03:31,884 --> 00:03:34,452
What's wrong?

81
00:03:34,496 --> 00:03:37,150
I just can't
sit around all day

82
00:03:37,194 --> 00:03:38,804
with your hot
feet in my lap

83
00:03:38,848 --> 00:03:40,632
watching reruns of
the Gilmore Girls.

84
00:03:40,676 --> 00:03:42,634
I get it. You had
your daughter young.

85
00:03:42,678 --> 00:03:45,158
Move on. You're
making me crazy!

86
00:03:47,073 --> 00:03:49,641
Okay, well, you want
to watch Rush Hour 3again

87
00:03:49,685 --> 00:03:52,470
so you can say every line
along with the actors?

88
00:03:52,514 --> 00:03:54,994
I do that?

89
00:03:55,038 --> 00:03:57,258
[chuckling]:
Yeah. It's funny.

90
00:03:57,301 --> 00:04:00,173
At first.
Oh.

91
00:04:00,217 --> 00:04:04,265
Look, I love you
very much, but...

92
00:04:04,308 --> 00:04:06,223
Okay, I'm just gonna say it.

93
00:04:06,267 --> 00:04:08,051
I'm sick of being around you.

94
00:04:08,094 --> 00:04:10,575
That is music to my ears.

95
00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:13,578
I'm sick of being
around you, too!

96
00:04:13,622 --> 00:04:15,145
[laughs]

97
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:16,712
We are so cute.

98
00:04:16,755 --> 00:04:20,324
Hey, so, how do we get you
back to work?
Ugh.

99
00:04:20,368 --> 00:04:23,501
You know, I mean, do we go out
and knock on some doors

100
00:04:23,545 --> 00:04:25,286
and see who needs
new kitchens?

101
00:04:25,329 --> 00:04:27,331
The quickest way to
put me back to work is

102
00:04:27,375 --> 00:04:29,725
to get Lisa McCaffrey
out of her cuckoo's nest.

103
00:04:30,900 --> 00:04:32,858
So let's take her out
for drinks.

104
00:04:32,902 --> 00:04:35,470
Maybe we can speed
this whole thing up,

105
00:04:35,513 --> 00:04:39,212
you know, patch the cracks
in her attic.

106
00:04:39,256 --> 00:04:40,518
That's a great idea.

107
00:04:40,562 --> 00:04:43,042
We're a great team.
We are.

108
00:04:43,086 --> 00:04:44,609
We were meant
to be together.

109
00:04:44,653 --> 00:04:47,220
Just not all the time.

110
00:04:47,264 --> 00:04:49,745
Exactly.
[both laugh]

111
00:04:49,788 --> 00:04:51,747
I'm gonna go read a book
in the pantry.

112
00:04:51,790 --> 00:04:54,315
Anywhere but
here, baby.

113
00:04:54,358 --> 00:04:56,012
Ha!

114
00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:59,102
♪

115
00:05:07,110 --> 00:05:09,373
I'm just saying, if you'd
seen the caterpillar,

116
00:05:09,417 --> 00:05:10,940
you'd like the story better.

117
00:05:10,983 --> 00:05:13,203
It looked exactly
like a mustache.

118
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:15,814
It was Tom Selleck
on a sidewalk.

119
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:17,250
Stay focused, okay?

120
00:05:17,294 --> 00:05:18,817
We've got to cheer Lisa up

121
00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:20,341
so we can get both of you
back to work.

122
00:05:20,384 --> 00:05:22,647
This morning,
I needed alone time so bad,

123
00:05:22,691 --> 00:05:24,388
almost went on a walk.

124
00:05:24,432 --> 00:05:26,347
A walk, Adam.

125
00:05:28,174 --> 00:05:29,828
Here she comes.
Okay, remember,

126
00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:31,352
this is just a patch job.

127
00:05:31,395 --> 00:05:33,049
We're not responsible
for any structural problems.

128
00:05:33,092 --> 00:05:35,530
And no matter
what she says,

129
00:05:35,573 --> 00:05:36,966
we tell her she's
making progress, okay?

130
00:05:37,009 --> 00:05:37,967
Got it.
Hey, hey!

131
00:05:38,010 --> 00:05:39,316
Hi.
Hello, you two.

132
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:40,926
Lisa.
[laughs]

133
00:05:40,970 --> 00:05:42,493
[sighs]
Ah, it's so good
to see you.

134
00:05:42,537 --> 00:05:44,060
How-how you doing?
Oh.

135
00:05:44,103 --> 00:05:47,106
Wildly depressed.

136
00:05:47,150 --> 00:05:49,239
I haven't felt this lonely
since my divorce.

137
00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,284
I started talking
to my reflection in the mirror,

138
00:05:51,328 --> 00:05:52,938
but conversation is difficult

139
00:05:52,982 --> 00:05:55,593
because we keep interrupting
each other.

140
00:05:55,637 --> 00:05:59,771
That right there-- that
is textbook progress.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

141
00:05:59,815 --> 00:06:01,686
I say it's time
to get back on the job.

142
00:06:01,730 --> 00:06:03,340
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, yeah.

143
00:06:03,384 --> 00:06:04,950
Studies show

144
00:06:04,994 --> 00:06:08,258
that people who quit working
die almost immediately.
Hmm.

145
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:09,520
Well, the way I've been feeling,

146
00:06:09,564 --> 00:06:11,870
it could be months
before I get back to work.

147
00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,959
Hmm.
Well...

148
00:06:14,003 --> 00:06:16,048
You know what?
Uh, I should go.

149
00:06:16,092 --> 00:06:19,878
It's, uh, difficult for me
to be around couples right now,

150
00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:22,228
especially old ones like you

151
00:06:22,272 --> 00:06:25,144
who've made it through most
of their lives together.

152
00:06:26,842 --> 00:06:29,105
Okay, bye.

153
00:06:32,630 --> 00:06:36,112
That's the meanest
compliment we've ever gotten.

154
00:06:36,155 --> 00:06:39,202
Yeah, but at least now
we know what she needs.

155
00:06:39,245 --> 00:06:40,333
Yeah. A straitjacket.

156
00:06:40,377 --> 00:06:42,205
No. A man.

157
00:06:42,248 --> 00:06:44,599
Yeah, a man to put on
the straitjacket,

158
00:06:44,642 --> 00:06:46,601
'cause you can't put
those on by yourself.

159
00:06:46,644 --> 00:06:48,385
That's why magicians
have assistants.

160
00:06:48,429 --> 00:06:50,909
Okay, look, Lisa said
she was too lonely to work,

161
00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:53,564
and I get it. It's-it's...
it's hard on your own.

162
00:06:53,608 --> 00:06:58,090
So if we fix her up
with someone, we fix her.

163
00:06:58,134 --> 00:07:01,050
Yeah, having someone at
home really makes you want

164
00:07:01,093 --> 00:07:02,530
to get out of the house.

165
00:07:02,573 --> 00:07:04,183
Let's make
a love connection, Adam.

166
00:07:04,227 --> 00:07:06,185
Great. All right, let's go home.

167
00:07:06,229 --> 00:07:07,578
I'll make a list of
some guys I don't like.

168
00:07:07,622 --> 00:07:09,188
Spit that out. We can't
afford to eat here.

169
00:07:12,235 --> 00:07:13,976
I can't think of anyone

170
00:07:14,019 --> 00:07:16,021
I dislike enough to
set up with Lisa.

171
00:07:16,065 --> 00:07:19,590
Do we know anyone
who just got out of prison?

172
00:07:19,634 --> 00:07:21,505
I mean, you know,
those guys aren't picky,

173
00:07:21,549 --> 00:07:23,420
and they're used
to crazy roommates.

174
00:07:23,464 --> 00:07:26,249
Okay, uh, hey, listen, before
we go in there, fair warning.

175
00:07:26,292 --> 00:07:27,772
I am laying down
on that couch.

176
00:07:27,816 --> 00:07:30,209
Now, it's fine if you
want to sit on top of me,

177
00:07:30,253 --> 00:07:32,255
but just be prepared to
finish what you start.

178
00:07:32,298 --> 00:07:33,778
Okay.

179
00:07:34,823 --> 00:07:38,174
Aw, come on!

180
00:07:38,217 --> 00:07:41,177
Unemployment blows.

181
00:07:41,220 --> 00:07:42,700
Yeah, tell me about it.

182
00:07:42,744 --> 00:07:44,485
I'm looking at a guy with
my pillow between his legs.

183
00:07:47,749 --> 00:07:50,142
Check it out. Rush Hour 3.

184
00:07:50,186 --> 00:07:52,797
Ooh.
Hey.

185
00:07:52,841 --> 00:07:54,407
Just got dark.
That means it's not weird

186
00:07:54,451 --> 00:07:56,279
for me to go to bed.
Good night, guys.

187
00:07:57,585 --> 00:08:00,413
[groans]

188
00:08:00,457 --> 00:08:03,329
Hey, so listen,
we just saw Lisa.
Yeah.

189
00:08:03,373 --> 00:08:05,549
She's depressed
because she's lonely.

190
00:08:05,593 --> 00:08:09,422
Andi thinks we can get her back
to work if we find her a guy.

191
00:08:09,466 --> 00:08:10,815
That makes sense.

192
00:08:10,859 --> 00:08:12,513
When she realized
she couldn't have me,

193
00:08:12,556 --> 00:08:14,123
she started
going downhill.

194
00:08:14,166 --> 00:08:16,560
So who's the
unlucky fella?

195
00:08:16,604 --> 00:08:18,040
Well, I don't know yet,

196
00:08:18,083 --> 00:08:19,607
but it shouldn't be
that hard to find one.

197
00:08:19,650 --> 00:08:21,217
Yeah.
Getting a girl
is hard.

198
00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:23,219
Getting a guy
who wantsa girl is easy.

199
00:08:23,262 --> 00:08:25,830
All we got to do is tell him
we got a girl.

200
00:08:25,874 --> 00:08:27,353
Yeah, I mean,
we got the beer.

201
00:08:27,397 --> 00:08:29,442
We're just looking
for the party.

202
00:08:29,486 --> 00:08:31,096
Yeah.
Yeah.

203
00:08:31,140 --> 00:08:32,881
Look, I know playing
matchmaker's a little weird,

204
00:08:32,924 --> 00:08:34,535
but I got
to do something.
Yeah.

205
00:08:34,578 --> 00:08:36,580
Andi and I are spending
all our time together,

206
00:08:36,624 --> 00:08:39,757
and I just discovered--
I can be a lot to take.

207
00:08:39,801 --> 00:08:42,934
Yeah, me, too, but I
didn't have to discover.

208
00:08:42,978 --> 00:08:44,893
Marcy told me ten minutes
before I got here.

209
00:08:44,936 --> 00:08:47,330
Hmm.
Yeah. When I walk in the door,

210
00:08:47,373 --> 00:08:49,767
I want my wife
to be happy to see me,

211
00:08:49,811 --> 00:08:53,641
and the key to that
is less of me.

212
00:08:53,684 --> 00:08:56,121
All right.
I just wish we had
another place to hang out.

213
00:08:56,165 --> 00:08:57,383
[sighs]

214
00:08:57,427 --> 00:08:58,994
Hey, you got
the basement.

215
00:08:59,037 --> 00:09:00,604
Let's move a couch
and a TV down there.

216
00:09:00,648 --> 00:09:03,215
Oh, I'd love to,
but it won't fit.
There's no room.

217
00:09:03,259 --> 00:09:04,826
Aah.
Andi's giant treadmill's
down there.

218
00:09:04,869 --> 00:09:06,871
[sighs]
Does she use it?

219
00:09:06,915 --> 00:09:09,439
Shh!

220
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:11,267
We don't talk about it.

221
00:09:11,310 --> 00:09:13,965
Well, so ask her if
you can get rid of it.

222
00:09:14,009 --> 00:09:16,402
What are you, a newlywed?

223
00:09:16,446 --> 00:09:18,143
No.
Huh?

224
00:09:18,187 --> 00:09:20,798
Everyone knows you can't talk
to women about exercising.

225
00:09:20,842 --> 00:09:23,845
The last time I mentioned it,
it did not go well.

226
00:09:26,630 --> 00:09:29,981
Hey, yoga pants, heading down
to the basement to exercise?

227
00:09:31,461 --> 00:09:33,681
Well, I am now.

228
00:09:38,555 --> 00:09:40,296
That was a quiet weekend.

229
00:09:40,339 --> 00:09:42,515
Ooh.
I know what I'll do.

230
00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:45,301
I'll just throw it away,
and I won't say anything.

231
00:09:45,344 --> 00:09:46,998
That could work.

232
00:09:47,042 --> 00:09:49,392
That's what I do when
Marcy cooks a meatloaf.

233
00:09:53,309 --> 00:09:55,398
LOWELL:
I'm so glad

234
00:09:55,441 --> 00:09:57,835
you guys called. I've been
stuck home with my kids.

235
00:09:57,879 --> 00:10:01,317
They tell the same stories
over and over.

236
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:04,363
Lowell, if it's a good
story, it never gets old.

237
00:10:04,407 --> 00:10:06,365
Okay, come on, guys.

238
00:10:06,409 --> 00:10:08,498
We got to figure out
who to set Lisa up with.
Mm.

239
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:09,717
We need a gentleman.

240
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,457
I'll check out the bathroom,
and come back

241
00:10:11,501 --> 00:10:12,937
with the first guy
who washes his hands.

242
00:10:16,375 --> 00:10:18,247
Okay, check out
the guy behind me.

243
00:10:18,290 --> 00:10:19,291
His date is a book.

244
00:10:19,335 --> 00:10:20,466
Watch this.
Oh, yeah.

245
00:10:22,512 --> 00:10:26,037
Hey, uh, I noticed
you were alone, and, uh...

246
00:10:26,081 --> 00:10:28,431
we've got a girl.

247
00:10:28,474 --> 00:10:31,303
That sounds creepy.

248
00:10:31,347 --> 00:10:35,046
[chuckles]: No, no.
She's not in a cage or anything.

249
00:10:35,090 --> 00:10:36,700
Listen, I know the manager.

250
00:10:36,744 --> 00:10:37,962
What's your name?

251
00:10:38,006 --> 00:10:40,748
Uh, Lowell. My name's Lowell.

252
00:10:47,145 --> 00:10:48,712
I think we might need
the actual girl here

253
00:10:48,756 --> 00:10:50,409
for this to work.
Yeah.

254
00:10:50,453 --> 00:10:52,411
You're-you're
overcomplicating it.

255
00:10:52,455 --> 00:10:54,675
See leather jacket over there?
Yeah.

256
00:10:54,718 --> 00:10:56,589
I'll just tell him
what I wanted people to tell me

257
00:10:56,633 --> 00:10:57,678
when I was
sitting alone in bars.

258
00:10:57,721 --> 00:10:59,462
Watch.

259
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:03,771
Hey, big guy.

260
00:11:03,814 --> 00:11:05,207
You look strong.

261
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:08,950
What'd you say to me?

262
00:11:08,993 --> 00:11:10,603
Nothing. My name's Lowell.

263
00:11:11,648 --> 00:11:13,563
Yeah, I-I'm out of here.

264
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:16,174
I'm going home.
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Sit down.

265
00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:18,437
We got to find a guy for Lisa
so we can get back to work.

266
00:11:18,481 --> 00:11:20,788
[sighs]
The men's room was a bad idea.

267
00:11:20,831 --> 00:11:22,224
I made a mistake
by leading with,

268
00:11:22,267 --> 00:11:23,442
"Are you looking
for a good time?"

269
00:11:25,096 --> 00:11:27,882
Frankly, I'm lucky to be alive.

270
00:11:27,925 --> 00:11:29,492
Well, we're not doing
much better out here.

271
00:11:29,535 --> 00:11:32,060
Oh, and if anybody asks,
your name is not Lowell.

272
00:11:33,365 --> 00:11:35,324
Wait, wait,
what about this guy?

273
00:11:35,367 --> 00:11:36,629
The chicken wing model.

274
00:11:36,673 --> 00:11:38,762
That's Leif Forrest,
the actor we hired

275
00:11:38,806 --> 00:11:40,503
to replace you
in the commercial.

276
00:11:40,546 --> 00:11:42,853
Lisa would like him.
He's single and handsome.

277
00:11:42,897 --> 00:11:44,637
We fired him.
He doesn't like us.

278
00:11:44,681 --> 00:11:47,423
But he likes me. He accidentally
put me into a group text,

279
00:11:47,466 --> 00:11:49,991
and I've been quite active.

280
00:11:50,034 --> 00:11:53,429
Well, if you can get him
on board, I'm all for it.

281
00:11:53,472 --> 00:11:55,300
Great. I'll have him
meet us for lunch.

282
00:11:55,344 --> 00:11:56,867
We don't want
one of these guys, anyway.

283
00:11:56,911 --> 00:11:58,739
Word in the bathroom
is there's a creep here

284
00:11:58,782 --> 00:12:00,610
saying he's got a lady
in a cage.

285
00:12:10,751 --> 00:12:11,708
Hey.
Hey.

286
00:12:11,752 --> 00:12:13,318
Okay, so, Marcy and I

287
00:12:13,362 --> 00:12:14,711
will get Lisa on board
with this blind date thing.

288
00:12:14,755 --> 00:12:15,973
Okay, great.
And then Don and I

289
00:12:16,017 --> 00:12:17,975
will work on
Pittsburgh's gift to acting,

290
00:12:18,019 --> 00:12:19,585
Leif Forrest.

291
00:12:20,848 --> 00:12:22,110
If we play this right,
I will have a job

292
00:12:22,153 --> 00:12:23,851
to go to every day.

293
00:12:23,894 --> 00:12:25,635
It's gonna be nice
to miss you, baby.

294
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:28,681
[chuckles]

295
00:12:28,725 --> 00:12:30,422
Oh, Andi, come quick!

296
00:12:30,466 --> 00:12:32,294
Is it the caterpillar?

297
00:12:33,643 --> 00:12:36,515
How do you not want to see it?

298
00:12:38,256 --> 00:12:39,605
ADAM:
Okay, listen.

299
00:12:39,649 --> 00:12:40,868
All we got to do
is convince this guy

300
00:12:40,911 --> 00:12:42,173
to hook up with Lisa

301
00:12:42,217 --> 00:12:43,784
and take a ride
down Bonkers Boulevard.

302
00:12:43,827 --> 00:12:45,002
[chuckles]

303
00:12:45,046 --> 00:12:46,656
Go for a swim
in Lunatic Lake.

304
00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:47,570
[laughs]:
Yeah.

305
00:12:47,613 --> 00:12:49,180
Hop on the
Screw Loose Caboose.

306
00:12:49,224 --> 00:12:50,529
[chuckles]
Oh, shh, shh, shh. Here he is.

307
00:12:50,573 --> 00:12:53,576
Adam, Don, you remember Leif.
Sure we do.

308
00:12:53,619 --> 00:12:54,969
From when we fired you.

309
00:12:55,012 --> 00:12:57,841
Ah, it's okay. I'm
used to hostility.

310
00:12:57,885 --> 00:13:00,539
Regular looking people don't
know how to deal with me.

311
00:13:00,583 --> 00:13:02,454
Yeah. Uh, have a seat.

312
00:13:02,498 --> 00:13:05,718
Okay.

313
00:13:05,762 --> 00:13:07,024
[clears throat] Um...

314
00:13:07,068 --> 00:13:08,591
Leif, I know we've had
our differences,

315
00:13:08,634 --> 00:13:10,462
but the reason
we brought you here is...

316
00:13:10,506 --> 00:13:12,464
we've got a girl.

317
00:13:12,508 --> 00:13:14,379
Never been in a cage.

318
00:13:14,423 --> 00:13:16,207
She's cage-free,
like those chickens.

319
00:13:18,079 --> 00:13:19,558
Look, she's a friend of ours,
and she's single.

320
00:13:19,602 --> 00:13:21,734
And my gut tells me
she has not been mingled with

321
00:13:21,778 --> 00:13:23,040
in quite some time.

322
00:13:23,084 --> 00:13:25,347
And we thought you might be
a good match for her.

323
00:13:25,390 --> 00:13:27,305
Yeah. We felt bad
for firing you.

324
00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:30,569
The least we could do is find
you a lovemaking partner.

325
00:13:30,613 --> 00:13:33,181
I'm listening.

326
00:13:33,224 --> 00:13:36,053
So, Adam and I
couldn't help but notice

327
00:13:36,097 --> 00:13:38,751
that you're sort of missing
a companion in your life.

328
00:13:38,795 --> 00:13:40,928
You know, and we both love
being in relationships.

329
00:13:40,971 --> 00:13:42,581
[chuckles]
Most of the time.

330
00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:44,496
But, um, we thought
we could help.

331
00:13:44,540 --> 00:13:46,324
Oh, you would do that?

332
00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:47,717
Well, it might be nice

333
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:50,111
to share my life
with someone special.

334
00:13:50,154 --> 00:13:53,549
Well, great. So what kind
of man are you looking for?
Hmm.

335
00:13:53,592 --> 00:13:56,073
A handsome doctor.

336
00:13:56,117 --> 00:13:57,901
Well, I don't want
to be shallow about this.

337
00:13:57,945 --> 00:14:00,295
Just handsome.

338
00:14:00,338 --> 00:14:02,863
I can't believe
you're single.

339
00:14:02,906 --> 00:14:05,996
[chuckles]
It's just...
[mimics explosion]

340
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:07,432
And I've always had a thing

341
00:14:07,476 --> 00:14:09,608
for spirited,
unpredictable women.

342
00:14:09,652 --> 00:14:12,785
Oh, really?

343
00:14:12,829 --> 00:14:16,441
I know it sounds weird,
but I like crazy.

344
00:14:16,485 --> 00:14:18,269
[chuckles]
Well, I know a crazy

345
00:14:18,313 --> 00:14:21,272
that might like you.
[chuckles]

346
00:14:21,316 --> 00:14:23,927
I also want a guy who's
financially dependent on me

347
00:14:23,971 --> 00:14:28,453
so I can have the upper hand
and constantly lord it over him.

348
00:14:28,497 --> 00:14:31,239
My God, you're a monster.

349
00:14:32,066 --> 00:14:33,415
Of love.
[chuckles]

350
00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:35,634
Huh? Right.
Yes, a...

351
00:14:35,678 --> 00:14:39,508
a cuddly, bone-chilling
love monster.

352
00:14:40,639 --> 00:14:43,729
Not only is our friend
delightfully unstable,

353
00:14:43,773 --> 00:14:46,819
she also happens to earn
a pretty good living.

354
00:14:46,863 --> 00:14:48,647
[exhales] That's great.

355
00:14:48,691 --> 00:14:49,866
It's tough

356
00:14:49,910 --> 00:14:51,781
making ends meet
as an actor in Pittsburgh.

357
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:53,652
They don't appreciate art
around here.

358
00:14:53,696 --> 00:14:56,481
I mean,
I can do seven different faces,

359
00:14:56,525 --> 00:14:58,657
and they are all
totally different.

360
00:14:58,701 --> 00:15:00,050
They're really good. Show them.

361
00:15:00,094 --> 00:15:01,225
Do angry.

362
00:15:01,269 --> 00:15:04,402
You had to pick
the one that I can't do.

363
00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:06,622
That seemed angry to me.

364
00:15:06,665 --> 00:15:08,754
[laughing]:
Well, all right.

365
00:15:08,798 --> 00:15:11,757
That makes eight.

366
00:15:11,801 --> 00:15:13,368
So, are you in?

367
00:15:16,414 --> 00:15:18,068
We're doing it.

368
00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:22,943
Thanks for coming, Leif.
Sure.

369
00:15:22,986 --> 00:15:24,379
She's a rich nutjob.

370
00:15:24,422 --> 00:15:25,815
I'm just glad
you called me first.

371
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:30,428
He's so pretty,
it's a shame to give him away.

372
00:15:30,472 --> 00:15:32,169
Hey.

373
00:15:32,213 --> 00:15:34,041
Eyes over here, mama.
Oh.

374
00:15:34,084 --> 00:15:35,694
Uh, why don't you guys
go into the living room,

375
00:15:35,738 --> 00:15:37,174
have some hors d'oeuvres,
and we'll be right in.

376
00:15:37,218 --> 00:15:38,697
So, Leif,

377
00:15:38,741 --> 00:15:39,829
what kind of name is that?

378
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:41,744
Oh, it's my first name.

379
00:15:44,747 --> 00:15:46,401
You know,

380
00:15:46,444 --> 00:15:47,880
I think this could
actually work.

381
00:15:47,924 --> 00:15:49,621
Lisa's an emotional iceberg,

382
00:15:49,665 --> 00:15:51,841
and he's got the brain
of a penguin.

383
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:55,018
Yeah, if these two hit it off,
she's going back to work,

384
00:15:55,062 --> 00:15:56,802
which means you're
going back to work.

385
00:15:56,846 --> 00:15:57,803
Yeah, which means
I'll have a bunch

386
00:15:57,847 --> 00:15:58,979
of new stories to tell you.
Yeah.

387
00:15:59,022 --> 00:16:00,502
And you'll be telling them

388
00:16:00,545 --> 00:16:02,025
without my feet in your lap.
Yeah.

389
00:16:02,069 --> 00:16:03,766
All right,
let's go close this deal.

390
00:16:03,809 --> 00:16:05,115
[knock at door]

391
00:16:05,159 --> 00:16:08,379
Ooh, that must be her.

392
00:16:08,423 --> 00:16:10,425
Leif, here comes the
rest of your life.

393
00:16:10,468 --> 00:16:12,035
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

394
00:16:12,079 --> 00:16:13,384
I-I'm not ready
to meet her.

395
00:16:13,428 --> 00:16:14,690
You haven't even
told me her name yet.

396
00:16:14,733 --> 00:16:16,735
Oh, sorry about that.
Yeah, her name is...

397
00:16:16,779 --> 00:16:18,563
Lisa?!

398
00:16:18,607 --> 00:16:20,522
Wow, great guess.

399
00:16:20,565 --> 00:16:22,089
Leif?!

400
00:16:22,132 --> 00:16:23,916
Wait, you-you guys
know each other?

401
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:24,917
Is that a good thing
or a...

402
00:16:24,961 --> 00:16:27,616
You son of a bitch.
Got it.

403
00:16:29,139 --> 00:16:32,273
You set me up
with my ex-husband.

404
00:16:34,579 --> 00:16:37,408
Who cheated on me
with a 22-year-old actress

405
00:16:37,452 --> 00:16:40,281
he met working at a car show.

406
00:16:40,324 --> 00:16:42,892
I-I didn't know we couldn't
date other people.

407
00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:45,590
I just thought we couldn't
marry other people.

408
00:16:46,809 --> 00:16:49,072
Uh, hey, h-hold on, hold on.
He's changed.

409
00:16:49,116 --> 00:16:50,378
Yeah. Did you know

410
00:16:50,421 --> 00:16:52,858
he's got a steady job
as a chicken wing model?

411
00:16:52,902 --> 00:16:56,471
Huh? Everybody
loves chicken wings.
Yeah.

412
00:16:56,514 --> 00:17:00,431
I'm leaving. Thank you so much
for setting up this reunion.

413
00:17:00,475 --> 00:17:01,650
Hey, you're not
getting the last word.

414
00:17:01,693 --> 00:17:02,694
I'mgetting the last word.

415
00:17:02,738 --> 00:17:03,826
No, you're not.
Yes, I am.

416
00:17:03,869 --> 00:17:04,957
No, you're not!

417
00:17:05,001 --> 00:17:06,133
Ah, she's too good.

418
00:17:06,176 --> 00:17:08,309
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Okay.

419
00:17:08,352 --> 00:17:09,788
Uh, look, we've learned
a lot about you both

420
00:17:09,832 --> 00:17:11,964
over the past few days, and
from where I'm standing,

421
00:17:12,008 --> 00:17:14,445
you're actually perfect
for each other.

422
00:17:14,489 --> 00:17:16,752
Yeah, that's true. I mean,

423
00:17:16,795 --> 00:17:19,276
you only want one thing, and...

424
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:22,714
he only is one thing.

425
00:17:22,758 --> 00:17:26,109
Yeah, and-and if that one
thing is the right thing,

426
00:17:26,153 --> 00:17:29,069
well, then you got to
hang on to that thing.

427
00:17:29,112 --> 00:17:30,548
You know?
And this is coming

428
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,115
from an old couple
who's made it

429
00:17:32,159 --> 00:17:34,813
almost all the way through
their lives together.

430
00:17:34,857 --> 00:17:36,772
As you so thoughtfully
pointed out.

431
00:17:36,815 --> 00:17:38,817
ADAM: But look,
all we're saying is

432
00:17:38,861 --> 00:17:41,472
don't let go of his thing.

433
00:17:43,474 --> 00:17:45,520
He's right.

434
00:17:45,563 --> 00:17:46,782
Losing you was awful.

435
00:17:46,825 --> 00:17:50,525
Can we at least have
a drink and catch up?

436
00:17:50,568 --> 00:17:54,398
Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt
to hear you out,

437
00:17:54,442 --> 00:17:56,574
Mr. Tickles.
[giggles]

438
00:17:58,794 --> 00:18:01,188
Come on, I know a bar with
lots of pictures of me.

439
00:18:04,321 --> 00:18:05,627
Look at that.

440
00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:08,369
There's an ass for every saddle.

441
00:18:08,412 --> 00:18:10,849
[chuckles]:
Yeah.

442
00:18:10,893 --> 00:18:12,938
I guess when you
find your person,

443
00:18:12,982 --> 00:18:14,070
you work stuff out.

444
00:18:14,114 --> 00:18:15,245
Yeah.

445
00:18:15,289 --> 00:18:18,727
Your feet are the
perfect temperature.

446
00:18:18,770 --> 00:18:20,511
Aw.

447
00:18:20,555 --> 00:18:23,906
I should've been nicer
about that caterpillar you saw.

448
00:18:25,386 --> 00:18:27,518
You saw a caterpillar?

449
00:18:27,562 --> 00:18:28,693
Yeah, yeah.

450
00:18:28,737 --> 00:18:31,043
It looked like a mustache.
Oh.

451
00:18:31,087 --> 00:18:34,743
Oh! That's great.

452
00:18:34,786 --> 00:18:36,614
That's great.

453
00:18:37,963 --> 00:18:39,878
Hey, have you heard
anything from Lisa?

454
00:18:39,922 --> 00:18:42,490
Yeah. Leif moved
back in with her.

455
00:18:42,533 --> 00:18:44,492
Turns out he was living
in a storage unit.
Oh.

456
00:18:44,535 --> 00:18:46,668
[chuckles]

457
00:18:46,711 --> 00:18:48,887
And, as we predicted,
she's already dying

458
00:18:48,931 --> 00:18:50,933
to get out of the house
and back to work.

459
00:18:50,976 --> 00:18:54,023
Mm. So...

460
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:56,504
it sounds like our days
on the couch together

461
00:18:56,547 --> 00:18:57,766
are almost over.

462
00:18:57,809 --> 00:18:59,028
Mm.

463
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:00,377
Tell you what.

464
00:19:00,421 --> 00:19:03,163
Let's watch Rush Hour 3.

465
00:19:03,206 --> 00:19:04,599
Let's go with Gilmore Girls.

466
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,906
I'm a little hooked.

467
00:19:07,950 --> 00:19:10,213
Ah.
Yeah.

468
00:19:10,257 --> 00:19:12,737
I mean, she's her mom, but
she's also her best friend.

469
00:19:12,781 --> 00:19:13,912
Yeah.

470
00:19:13,956 --> 00:19:16,393
Come on.
Aw. [giggles]

471
00:19:16,437 --> 00:19:18,613
[chuckles]
Look at us.

472
00:19:18,656 --> 00:19:19,831
It got good again.

473
00:19:19,875 --> 00:19:21,006
[both chuckle]

474
00:19:22,051 --> 00:19:23,879
They're hot, but it's...

475
00:19:23,922 --> 00:19:25,707
it's a dry heat.
Mm-hmm.

476
00:19:35,934 --> 00:19:37,501
It doesn't fit.

477
00:19:37,545 --> 00:19:39,111
I told you to measure it.
I did.

478
00:19:39,155 --> 00:19:40,722
But it's wider than the door.

479
00:19:40,765 --> 00:19:42,332
You didn't tell me
to measure the door.

480
00:19:42,376 --> 00:19:44,465
Andi's gonna be home
any minute.

481
00:19:44,508 --> 00:19:45,988
If she sees this,

482
00:19:46,031 --> 00:19:47,555
she'll think I'm accusing her
of not exercising.

483
00:19:47,598 --> 00:19:49,296
And we just got good again.

484
00:19:49,339 --> 00:19:50,601
[keys jingling]

485
00:19:50,645 --> 00:19:52,255
That's Andi.
Oh, God, she can't see this.

486
00:19:52,299 --> 00:19:54,344
Uh...

487
00:19:54,388 --> 00:19:56,390
Here, here, here.

488
00:20:01,525 --> 00:20:03,135
What are you doing?

489
00:20:03,179 --> 00:20:05,529
Camouflage.

490
00:20:06,530 --> 00:20:08,315
Hey, guys.
Hey.

491
00:20:08,358 --> 00:20:10,142
What's this?

492
00:20:10,186 --> 00:20:11,753
Dish towel.

493
00:20:11,796 --> 00:20:14,321
Okay, fine.

494
00:20:14,364 --> 00:20:16,105
I was gonna throw it away.

495
00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:18,325
Go ahead.
You never use it anyway.

496
00:20:18,368 --> 00:20:21,284
What? Inever use it?

497
00:20:21,328 --> 00:20:22,894
Me?

498
00:20:22,938 --> 00:20:25,636
I mean, I was gonna say
something, but... [scoffs]

499
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:28,465
everyone knows you can't talk
to men about exercising.

500
00:20:28,509 --> 00:20:31,120
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

501
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:34,166
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
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