1 00:00:02,806 --> 00:00:06,636 [honking horn loudly] 2 00:00:06,679 --> 00:00:08,942 All right, all right. 3 00:00:08,986 --> 00:00:11,945 Hey, Dad, there's this new thing people are doing these days. 4 00:00:11,989 --> 00:00:13,773 It's called knocking. 5 00:00:13,817 --> 00:00:15,558 I'm old, you come to me. 6 00:00:16,994 --> 00:00:18,952 Listen, I'm on my way to buy a new car. 7 00:00:18,996 --> 00:00:20,824 I'm gonna use the Burns system. 8 00:00:20,867 --> 00:00:23,174 The Burns car buying system is a legend. 9 00:00:23,218 --> 00:00:25,785 Yeah.Your dad handed it down to you, 10 00:00:25,829 --> 00:00:29,311 and then you handed it down to, well, my brother. 11 00:00:29,354 --> 00:00:31,704 Well, this time I want you in the showroom with me. 12 00:00:31,748 --> 00:00:33,489 Wh... You and me? 13 00:00:33,532 --> 00:00:34,881 You always do it with Don. 14 00:00:34,925 --> 00:00:36,057 Oh, not today. 15 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:38,320 Oh, is Don sick? 16 00:00:38,363 --> 00:00:39,625 Are you coming or not? 17 00:00:39,669 --> 00:00:40,887 Let me just go tell Andi we're heading out. 18 00:00:40,931 --> 00:00:42,498 [clears throat] 19 00:00:42,541 --> 00:00:44,021 [car horn blaring] 20 00:00:44,065 --> 00:00:46,328 All right, I'm hurrying. 21 00:00:46,371 --> 00:00:48,286 Adam, look what Emme just brought down 22 00:00:48,330 --> 00:00:50,027 from her room. I-It's a snake! 23 00:00:50,071 --> 00:00:51,202 ADAM: What? Emme, 24 00:00:51,246 --> 00:00:53,335 we don't allow weird pets in the house 25 00:00:53,378 --> 00:00:55,337 ever since I accidentally drank Teddy's sea monkeys. 26 00:00:55,380 --> 00:00:56,686 Put him back in there. 27 00:00:56,729 --> 00:00:58,166 But he's cute.No, no, no, honey. 28 00:00:58,209 --> 00:00:59,515 You're cute, 29 00:00:59,558 --> 00:01:01,169 'cause you have cute little ears, 30 00:01:01,212 --> 00:01:03,345 and your cute little hands and your cute little feet. 31 00:01:03,388 --> 00:01:04,868 Snake's got none of that. 32 00:01:04,911 --> 00:01:06,087 ANDI: Yeah. 33 00:01:06,130 --> 00:01:08,480 Yeah, he's just a legless killing machine. 34 00:01:08,524 --> 00:01:10,395 They go for the eyeballs first, you know. 35 00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:12,702 Honey, you have to get rid of it. 36 00:01:12,745 --> 00:01:14,747 I can't. Dad's outside, he just invited me 37 00:01:14,791 --> 00:01:16,358 to do the Burns system with him. 38 00:01:16,401 --> 00:01:17,881 Oh, is Don sick? 39 00:01:20,188 --> 00:01:21,928 No, no, he wants me. 40 00:01:21,972 --> 00:01:24,453 After years of having to wait in the car and watch them do it, 41 00:01:24,496 --> 00:01:27,804 today I get to finally go inside the showroom. 42 00:01:27,847 --> 00:01:30,111 I'm moving up! Okay. 43 00:01:30,154 --> 00:01:32,417 Look, I'm all for you bonding with your dad, 44 00:01:32,461 --> 00:01:34,898 but, you know, this is your job, okay? 45 00:01:34,941 --> 00:01:37,118 You handle the creepy-crawlies. 46 00:01:37,161 --> 00:01:39,250 What? It's just a harmless corn snake. 47 00:01:39,294 --> 00:01:40,730 You can do this. 48 00:01:40,773 --> 00:01:44,168 You are a strong, independent woman, okay? 49 00:01:44,212 --> 00:01:46,344 And in the name of women's liberation, 50 00:01:46,388 --> 00:01:50,740 I will not-- no, no, I cannot 51 00:01:50,783 --> 00:01:52,698 do something that you can do on your own. 52 00:01:52,742 --> 00:01:54,309 [car horn honks]Gotta go. 53 00:01:54,352 --> 00:01:55,875 Wait, you mean... Whoa! 54 00:01:55,919 --> 00:01:57,399 You're really going to leave me here with a snake? 55 00:01:57,442 --> 00:01:59,575 Equal rights! 56 00:02:04,188 --> 00:02:05,581 Emme, where'd you even get that thing? 57 00:02:05,624 --> 00:02:07,670 I traded it for a Twinkie at school. 58 00:02:09,324 --> 00:02:12,022 Honey, y-you can't keep that gross snake. 59 00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,415 He's not gross. 60 00:02:13,458 --> 00:02:16,548 His name is Brian and I love him. 61 00:02:19,203 --> 00:02:23,642 What if I traded you two Twinkies for that snake? 62 00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:26,558 So long, Brian. 63 00:02:29,387 --> 00:02:31,868 ♪ 64 00:02:40,224 --> 00:02:41,747 All right, this is the one. 65 00:02:41,791 --> 00:02:43,923 Now we just have to make the deal. 66 00:02:43,967 --> 00:02:46,012 I can't believe I'm here, doing the Burns system. 67 00:02:46,056 --> 00:02:47,405 I've been on the bench so long 68 00:02:47,449 --> 00:02:48,841 and you finally put me in the game. 69 00:02:48,885 --> 00:02:50,756 I won't let you down, Coach. 70 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,410 Settle down, Sally. 71 00:02:52,454 --> 00:02:53,411 Yeah. Mm-hmm. 72 00:02:53,455 --> 00:02:55,152 There's the salesman. 73 00:02:55,196 --> 00:02:57,459 Now, here's what we do: you be the good cop, 74 00:02:57,502 --> 00:03:00,026 I'll be the grouchy-old-man- who-hates-everything cop. 75 00:03:00,070 --> 00:03:02,203 Roger that, partner. [chuckles] 76 00:03:02,246 --> 00:03:03,639 I don't need to do that. 77 00:03:04,596 --> 00:03:05,858 She's a beaut, isn't she? 78 00:03:05,902 --> 00:03:07,512 This one's loaded. 79 00:03:07,556 --> 00:03:09,514 It's got radar cruise control and parking assist. 80 00:03:09,558 --> 00:03:11,342 It can park itself. 81 00:03:11,386 --> 00:03:13,518 Sounds like it doesn't need me. Let's go. 82 00:03:13,562 --> 00:03:14,911 W-Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 83 00:03:14,954 --> 00:03:17,522 Ea-Ease up, Dad. He's just doing his job. 84 00:03:17,566 --> 00:03:19,524 Sorry about that. He's-he's pretty tough. 85 00:03:19,568 --> 00:03:20,873 Tell us more. 86 00:03:20,917 --> 00:03:22,223 Well, this is our first model 87 00:03:22,266 --> 00:03:24,268 with a completely digital dashboard. 88 00:03:24,312 --> 00:03:25,269 There's no ignition. 89 00:03:25,313 --> 00:03:26,879 Where does the key go? 90 00:03:26,923 --> 00:03:28,881 There's actually no key, just a fob. 91 00:03:28,925 --> 00:03:30,753 You're a fob. 92 00:03:32,102 --> 00:03:34,365 He likes to make the names of things into insults. 93 00:03:34,409 --> 00:03:37,716 [chuckles]: Yeah. Yesterday, he called me a doorbell. 94 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,065 [chuckles] 95 00:03:39,109 --> 00:03:40,719 Well, I should tell you about the Bluetooth. 96 00:03:40,763 --> 00:03:41,894 You're a Bluetooth. 97 00:03:41,938 --> 00:03:43,896 Reggie. It's actually Reggie. 98 00:03:43,940 --> 00:03:45,115 [chuckles]Hey, Dad, 99 00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:47,248 why don't you, uh, have a seat? Let me talk 100 00:03:47,291 --> 00:03:49,337 to this guy for a second, huh? 101 00:03:51,034 --> 00:03:53,993 Hey, listen, uh, 102 00:03:54,037 --> 00:03:56,300 neither of us wants to spend our whole Saturday dealing with him. 103 00:03:56,344 --> 00:03:58,302 Okay? So we need to be on the same team. 104 00:03:58,346 --> 00:03:59,956 Thanks. You think we can get him to take a test drive? 105 00:03:59,999 --> 00:04:02,350 'Cause that's where I shine. 106 00:04:02,393 --> 00:04:04,961 Definitely. I mean, you're gonna have to throw in chrome wheels 107 00:04:05,004 --> 00:04:05,962 if we buy the car. 108 00:04:06,005 --> 00:04:07,877 I can swing that. 109 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:09,879 Good, good. Oh, and, also, you're gonna need to take him 110 00:04:09,922 --> 00:04:11,663 to a drive-through and buy us some breakfast. 111 00:04:11,707 --> 00:04:14,187 He needs to see if he can eat and drive at the same time. 112 00:04:14,231 --> 00:04:16,102 I don't have any cash.Oh, don't worry. 113 00:04:16,146 --> 00:04:17,626 We'll take you to an ATM. 114 00:04:17,669 --> 00:04:19,280 [sighs]Reggie, Reggie, 115 00:04:19,323 --> 00:04:21,151 I don't want to see you lose this sale. 116 00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:22,544 Okay. 117 00:04:22,587 --> 00:04:24,023 I'll grab the fob. 118 00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:26,112 I mean the key. We'll call it a key. 119 00:04:26,156 --> 00:04:27,940 I like you, Reggie. 120 00:04:27,984 --> 00:04:29,638 I knew right away you were special. 121 00:04:30,595 --> 00:04:32,031 [chuckles] 122 00:04:34,251 --> 00:04:35,600 How'd it go? 123 00:04:35,644 --> 00:04:37,036 You get the chrome wheels? 124 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,648 Not only that-- I got him to throw in breakfast. 125 00:04:39,691 --> 00:04:42,564 Oh! Oh, Donny never did that. 126 00:04:42,607 --> 00:04:44,740 Welcome to the bigs, son. 127 00:04:44,783 --> 00:04:47,177 Yeah. 128 00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:48,134 What's the matter? 129 00:04:48,178 --> 00:04:49,875 I-I just got something in my eye. 130 00:04:53,705 --> 00:04:56,534 Look at him. 131 00:04:56,578 --> 00:04:59,450 Just staring at me. 132 00:04:59,494 --> 00:05:02,627 Trying to figure out how to get all of me in his mouth. 133 00:05:02,671 --> 00:05:05,021 So what are you gonna do with it? 134 00:05:05,064 --> 00:05:06,805 Well, how 'bout this? 135 00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:08,372 I leave the room, 136 00:05:08,416 --> 00:05:10,548 and then you take care of it however you want. 137 00:05:11,636 --> 00:05:13,159 And, uh, if I hear the blender, 138 00:05:13,203 --> 00:05:14,596 no judgments. 139 00:05:14,639 --> 00:05:17,773 I am not blending your snake, okay? 140 00:05:17,816 --> 00:05:20,341 I am not touching that thing at all. 141 00:05:20,384 --> 00:05:21,603 Well, I don't want to touch it either. 142 00:05:21,646 --> 00:05:22,778 Well, then we're stuck. 143 00:05:22,821 --> 00:05:24,823 What happened to me? 144 00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:27,130 You know? I mean, I-I used to take care of 145 00:05:27,173 --> 00:05:29,654 all the creepy-crawlies before I got married. 146 00:05:29,698 --> 00:05:32,004 And I was good at it. 147 00:05:32,048 --> 00:05:34,137 I think having a husband's made me soft. 148 00:05:34,180 --> 00:05:35,617 Oh. 149 00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:36,618 That's not good. 150 00:05:36,661 --> 00:05:38,010 I read on the Internet that, 151 00:05:38,054 --> 00:05:40,709 in ten years, there won't be any men left at all. 152 00:05:43,102 --> 00:05:44,713 They carry their phones in their front pocket, 153 00:05:44,756 --> 00:05:46,367 and the radiation is turning them all 154 00:05:46,410 --> 00:05:48,760 into a bunch of Ken dolls. 155 00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:53,983 [groans] I've never gotten sick from a test drive before. 156 00:05:54,026 --> 00:05:56,507 I do panic stops to make sure the brakes work. 157 00:05:57,726 --> 00:05:59,162 Hey, thanks again for breakfast. 158 00:05:59,205 --> 00:06:01,338 Sorry you couldn't keep yours down. 159 00:06:01,382 --> 00:06:03,384 I don't trust a guy with a weak stomach. 160 00:06:03,427 --> 00:06:05,951 Let's go to the dealer next door.Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 161 00:06:08,432 --> 00:06:10,216 Okay, listen, you're losing him. 162 00:06:10,260 --> 00:06:12,871 You're gonna have to sweeten the pot with an extended warranty. 163 00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:14,786 Okay. Okay, I'll see what I can do. 164 00:06:14,830 --> 00:06:16,309 Great, great. And on your way back, don't be afraid 165 00:06:16,353 --> 00:06:18,094 to bring us some of your fancy coffees. 166 00:06:18,137 --> 00:06:20,923 All right? He gets sleepy after a big breakfast. 167 00:06:20,966 --> 00:06:22,577 All right.And maybe get yourself a mint. 168 00:06:25,231 --> 00:06:27,799 This is going great. He's agreeing to everything. 169 00:06:27,843 --> 00:06:30,236 Yeah! And here comes phase two. 170 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:32,282 Oh, what's phase two?Donny. 171 00:06:33,457 --> 00:06:35,067 What's he doing here? 172 00:06:35,111 --> 00:06:36,417 I called in a closer. 173 00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:39,115 Closer? Dad, I can be a closer. 174 00:06:39,158 --> 00:06:42,248 I'm here. Where's the mark? 175 00:06:42,292 --> 00:06:43,728 Why don't you mind your own business? 176 00:06:43,772 --> 00:06:45,426 Lowell, are you part of this? 177 00:06:45,469 --> 00:06:47,166 I've just heard so much about the Burns system, 178 00:06:47,210 --> 00:06:48,472 I had to see it in person. 179 00:06:48,516 --> 00:06:49,908 Did you come to watch, too? 180 00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:52,737 No! I'm doing it. 181 00:06:52,781 --> 00:06:54,435 I was here first. 182 00:06:54,478 --> 00:06:57,133 Oh, good, there's more of you. 183 00:06:57,176 --> 00:06:59,962 This is my older son. He's a real car expert. 184 00:07:00,005 --> 00:07:03,095 That's right. I've been riding in cars since I was a kid. 185 00:07:03,139 --> 00:07:04,662 Started in the backseat. 186 00:07:04,706 --> 00:07:07,926 Did so well, they moved me up front. 187 00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:10,668 I thought we were doing great together. 188 00:07:10,712 --> 00:07:13,149 Yeah. Just watch him work. The kid is a star. 189 00:07:14,716 --> 00:07:16,065 Hey, let me ask you something. 190 00:07:16,108 --> 00:07:19,372 Are there any ghosts in that car?What? 191 00:07:19,416 --> 00:07:21,549 Is the car ghost-free? It's a basic question, man. 192 00:07:21,592 --> 00:07:25,422 You seem like the kind of guy that might sell me a ghost car. 193 00:07:25,466 --> 00:07:27,250 Where does he get this stuff? 194 00:07:27,293 --> 00:07:30,775 From me. You know how much time we spend together. 195 00:07:34,475 --> 00:07:35,737 ANDI: Okay, well, 196 00:07:35,780 --> 00:07:37,739 I called the zoo, I called the pet store. 197 00:07:37,782 --> 00:07:39,305 Nobody wants Brian. 198 00:07:39,349 --> 00:07:40,785 And most of the people I talked to 199 00:07:40,829 --> 00:07:42,265 tried to get me to take their snakes. 200 00:07:44,006 --> 00:07:45,790 I guess we leave the snake here and you just move. 201 00:07:45,834 --> 00:07:48,097 It's Brian's house now. 202 00:07:48,140 --> 00:07:50,969 No, he's going to the pet store, okay? 203 00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:53,624 We'll just take him out of the box and we'll sneak him in. 204 00:07:53,668 --> 00:07:55,800 How are we gonna get the snake from here to the store 205 00:07:55,844 --> 00:07:58,107 if neither one of us wants to touch it? 206 00:07:58,150 --> 00:08:02,024 [gasps] I know. We'll sneak him in there in my other purse. 207 00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:04,156 It's snakeskin. 208 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:05,506 [gasps] 209 00:08:05,549 --> 00:08:06,985 He'll feel right at home. 210 00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:09,640 Okay. All right. So... 211 00:08:09,684 --> 00:08:10,989 [groans]Ew. 212 00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,035 Uh... 213 00:08:14,036 --> 00:08:16,342 Okay, Brian, jump on in. 214 00:08:16,386 --> 00:08:18,170 Come on. [whistles] 215 00:08:18,214 --> 00:08:19,650 Come on. You can do it, boy! 216 00:08:19,694 --> 00:08:20,999 Come on. [whistles] 217 00:08:21,043 --> 00:08:22,653 Come on!Yeah, I don't think 218 00:08:22,697 --> 00:08:25,308 snakes follow directions without a flute. 219 00:08:26,396 --> 00:08:28,746 Okay. Well, uh... 220 00:08:28,790 --> 00:08:30,182 you hold the purse. 221 00:08:30,226 --> 00:08:32,010 [sniffs][groans] 222 00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:33,664 All right, ready?Ugh. 223 00:08:33,708 --> 00:08:35,231 Here goes nothing. 224 00:08:35,274 --> 00:08:37,059 [groans] 225 00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:40,541 [groans][moaning] 226 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:42,891 We did it! 227 00:08:42,934 --> 00:08:44,240 Yeah. 228 00:08:44,283 --> 00:08:46,242 [panting]Huh. All right. 229 00:08:46,285 --> 00:08:49,550 [chuckles]Good job, us. [chuckles] 230 00:08:49,593 --> 00:08:52,161 There's an old Twizzler in there. 231 00:08:53,423 --> 00:08:55,904 Oh, maybe he'll fall in love. 232 00:08:57,514 --> 00:09:00,473 All right. All Dad has to do is sign on the dotted line. 233 00:09:00,517 --> 00:09:02,040 You can thank me later. 234 00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:04,565 Whatever. We were doing fine without you. 235 00:09:04,608 --> 00:09:06,567 Hey, you got your dad a great car. 236 00:09:06,610 --> 00:09:09,004 Does it diminish it just because your brother helped? 237 00:09:09,047 --> 00:09:11,006 Yes! 238 00:09:11,049 --> 00:09:13,269 Don't you know how family works? 239 00:09:13,312 --> 00:09:14,487 JOE: Forget it. 240 00:09:14,531 --> 00:09:15,663 I'm not signing this. 241 00:09:15,706 --> 00:09:16,881 What happened? 242 00:09:16,925 --> 00:09:19,754 None of your Bluetooth business, fobbo. 243 00:09:19,797 --> 00:09:21,364 Is that part of the system? 244 00:09:21,407 --> 00:09:23,758 Who knows? Nobody tells me anything. 245 00:09:23,801 --> 00:09:25,498 This is definitely new. 246 00:09:25,542 --> 00:09:26,543 I'm leaving. 247 00:09:26,587 --> 00:09:27,762 What?Yeah. 248 00:09:27,805 --> 00:09:28,806 What about the car? 249 00:09:28,850 --> 00:09:30,025 I don't need a car. 250 00:09:30,068 --> 00:09:31,679 I don't know, Dad. I liked that car, too. 251 00:09:31,722 --> 00:09:32,941 Who asked you? 252 00:09:32,984 --> 00:09:34,638 Dad, this is me, Donny. 253 00:09:34,682 --> 00:09:37,336 That's the voice you use for Adam. 254 00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:39,121 Okay, I think we should all just settle down. 255 00:09:39,164 --> 00:09:40,296 You want a piece of this? 256 00:09:40,339 --> 00:09:42,211 No, sir. 257 00:09:42,254 --> 00:09:44,169 How can I have a piece of it when I'm all the way over there? 258 00:09:45,214 --> 00:09:46,737 Just tell me what happened. 259 00:09:46,781 --> 00:09:48,521 I don't have to tell you anything. 260 00:09:48,565 --> 00:09:49,914 What, are you waiting for me to leave 261 00:09:49,958 --> 00:09:51,612 so you can tell your number one son? 262 00:09:51,655 --> 00:09:53,831 He's too emotional. I should have left him in the car. 263 00:09:53,875 --> 00:09:56,051 Okay, you know what? I'm leaving. 264 00:09:56,094 --> 00:09:57,661 I wasted my whole Saturday because I wanted 265 00:09:57,705 --> 00:09:59,532 to get closer to you. But I'm through trying. 266 00:09:59,576 --> 00:10:01,622 Maybe you two can go to Six Flags together again, huh? 267 00:10:01,665 --> 00:10:03,362 Which I know you took him to, even though you said 268 00:10:03,406 --> 00:10:04,886 you were going to the doctor. 269 00:10:04,929 --> 00:10:06,975 Nobody comes home from a checkup with cotton candy. 270 00:10:08,367 --> 00:10:10,065 [exhales] 271 00:10:10,108 --> 00:10:12,241 I told you to ditch the cotton candy, 272 00:10:12,284 --> 00:10:14,069 but you had to be a show-off. 273 00:10:14,112 --> 00:10:16,680 It was my half-birthday. 274 00:10:16,724 --> 00:10:18,551 Just take me home, Donny. 275 00:10:18,595 --> 00:10:20,553 [scoffs] 276 00:10:20,597 --> 00:10:21,859 They left? 277 00:10:21,903 --> 00:10:23,644 I think something went wrong with their system. 278 00:10:23,687 --> 00:10:25,384 Oh, they have a system? 279 00:10:25,428 --> 00:10:28,518 Teach it to me. 280 00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:30,259 I-I shouldn't. 281 00:10:30,302 --> 00:10:31,869 I've already said too much. 282 00:10:31,913 --> 00:10:36,178 We can offer you complimentary flavored Perrier. 283 00:10:39,921 --> 00:10:41,357 Okay. 284 00:10:52,020 --> 00:10:54,544 Well, hello. 285 00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:55,719 Hi. [chuckles] 286 00:10:55,763 --> 00:10:57,939 Uh, we are shopping for a snake. 287 00:10:57,982 --> 00:11:00,158 Ah, so you're snakies like me. 288 00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:02,857 Sure, yeah. Love snakes. 289 00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:05,120 H-H-How they don't have feet and stuff. 290 00:11:05,163 --> 00:11:07,339 [chuckles] So, uh, so where are they? 291 00:11:07,383 --> 00:11:11,256 Okay, my serpent friends are chilling along the back wall. 292 00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:13,694 It's a, uh, cold-blooded joke. 293 00:11:13,737 --> 00:11:16,740 [laughs] That's terrifying. 294 00:11:16,784 --> 00:11:19,482 Um, do-do... uh, if you don't mind, 295 00:11:19,525 --> 00:11:20,788 we'd like a moment alone to browse. 296 00:11:20,831 --> 00:11:21,963 Yeah, of course. 297 00:11:22,006 --> 00:11:24,095 Okay. Great. 298 00:11:24,139 --> 00:11:26,141 All right, all right, all right, 299 00:11:26,184 --> 00:11:27,446 let's get rid of this thing. Okay. 300 00:11:27,490 --> 00:11:31,146 Adios, Brian. 301 00:11:31,189 --> 00:11:34,192 Hey. 302 00:11:34,236 --> 00:11:36,020 You're trying to leave a snake. 303 00:11:36,064 --> 00:11:39,676 This happens every time a woman comes in here. 304 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:40,808 [gasps] Look, another woman. 305 00:11:44,725 --> 00:11:46,161 Brian? 306 00:11:46,204 --> 00:11:48,729 What? Where is he? 307 00:11:48,772 --> 00:11:49,991 I think we both closed our eyes 308 00:11:50,034 --> 00:11:51,035 when you were putting him in your purse. 309 00:11:51,079 --> 00:11:52,515 I'll bet he never made it in. 310 00:11:52,558 --> 00:11:56,127 That means there's a snake loose in my house. 311 00:11:56,171 --> 00:11:58,695 Ooh. Sounds like my kind of house. 312 00:11:58,739 --> 00:12:00,479 [clears throat] 313 00:12:00,523 --> 00:12:01,829 Okay, a little tip. 314 00:12:01,872 --> 00:12:03,439 Um, you're creepy. Stop it. 315 00:12:07,573 --> 00:12:10,228 Hey. How was car shopping with Grandpa? 316 00:12:10,272 --> 00:12:12,491 All right, listen, guys. 317 00:12:12,535 --> 00:12:15,190 I just want you to know that I love all of you equally. 318 00:12:15,233 --> 00:12:16,931 If I take one of you to Six Flags, 319 00:12:16,974 --> 00:12:18,759 I take all of you to Six Flags. 320 00:12:18,802 --> 00:12:20,586 We're going to Six Flags? 321 00:12:20,630 --> 00:12:22,937 No, no, it's too expensive to take all of you. 322 00:12:22,980 --> 00:12:24,025 Go read a book. 323 00:12:26,810 --> 00:12:29,204 [sighs] 324 00:12:32,076 --> 00:12:34,818 [scoffs] 325 00:12:34,862 --> 00:12:36,646 Where is the remote? 326 00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:45,742 Aah! 327 00:12:55,230 --> 00:12:57,058 [laughing]: Yeah. 328 00:12:57,101 --> 00:12:59,800 You better run. 329 00:12:59,843 --> 00:13:03,586 That scream was a war cry. 330 00:13:05,762 --> 00:13:08,069 It's been 20 minutes and there's still no sign of Brian. 331 00:13:08,112 --> 00:13:09,157 Wait. 332 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:10,985 Can a snake climb stairs? 333 00:13:11,028 --> 00:13:12,856 Let's say no. 334 00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:15,337 I can't find him. 335 00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:17,339 We may need to buy a hawk. 336 00:13:17,382 --> 00:13:20,429 Okay, let's just sit down and look like 337 00:13:20,472 --> 00:13:22,257 we're not paying attention and then, you know, 338 00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:23,606 maybe Brian'll come out 339 00:13:23,649 --> 00:13:26,043 and, you know, try to murder us. 340 00:13:26,087 --> 00:13:27,566 Hey. 341 00:13:27,610 --> 00:13:30,047 How was your big, special day with your dad? 342 00:13:30,091 --> 00:13:31,875 Ugh. He brought Don in, 343 00:13:31,919 --> 00:13:34,051 so I think it was their big, special day. 344 00:13:34,095 --> 00:13:36,097 Aw. I'm sorry, honey. 345 00:13:36,140 --> 00:13:37,576 Ah, it's okay. 346 00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:38,621 I'm fine. 347 00:13:38,664 --> 00:13:40,405 I'm the number two son. 348 00:13:40,449 --> 00:13:43,756 If I'm that guy, I'm that guy. 349 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,889 And being number two is not bad. 350 00:13:45,933 --> 00:13:47,630 No, like Batman and Robin. 351 00:13:47,673 --> 00:13:49,110 Sure, Batman gets all the glory, 352 00:13:49,153 --> 00:13:50,851 but Robin... [chuckles] 353 00:13:52,940 --> 00:13:56,204 Who am I kidding? Robin sucks. 354 00:13:56,247 --> 00:13:58,641 Adam, you've got to tell your dad how you feel. 355 00:13:58,684 --> 00:14:01,296 Look, I can't have a real conversation with that guy. 356 00:14:01,339 --> 00:14:03,907 You know, emotional stuff's your department. 357 00:14:03,951 --> 00:14:05,735 Well, if it makes you feel any better, 358 00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:07,302 I'm not great at your stuff, either. 359 00:14:07,345 --> 00:14:09,826 I mean, being married has made me soft. 360 00:14:09,870 --> 00:14:12,046 I mean, you do all the yucky stuff for me. 361 00:14:12,089 --> 00:14:13,308 But I thought you liked that. 362 00:14:13,351 --> 00:14:15,832 Well, I did, but now I just... 363 00:14:15,876 --> 00:14:17,965 I'm a little disappointed in myself, you know? 364 00:14:18,008 --> 00:14:19,357 I don't understand why I can't... [gasps] 365 00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:20,489 Adam, there's Brian. 366 00:14:20,532 --> 00:14:21,490 Get him. Get him.Okay. 367 00:14:21,533 --> 00:14:23,013 Uh... 368 00:14:23,057 --> 00:14:25,668 No. What? 369 00:14:25,711 --> 00:14:27,061 Pick up that snake, Andi. 370 00:14:27,104 --> 00:14:28,323 This is your moment. 371 00:14:28,366 --> 00:14:29,977 What? No, it's not. Yeah. 372 00:14:30,020 --> 00:14:32,196 You want to do it, right? So do it. 373 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:33,197 Well, I can't. 374 00:14:33,241 --> 00:14:35,069 Yes, you can. Yes, you can. 375 00:14:35,112 --> 00:14:36,592 You remember when Teddy was little, 376 00:14:36,635 --> 00:14:37,854 and his nose was all stuffed up 377 00:14:37,898 --> 00:14:39,029 and you had to pull all that gunk out? 378 00:14:39,073 --> 00:14:40,552 And it just kept coming and coming 379 00:14:40,596 --> 00:14:42,511 and coming like a magician's scarf? 380 00:14:42,554 --> 00:14:44,774 Huh? Only it wasn't a scarf. 381 00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:47,037 It was a snot snake. 382 00:14:47,081 --> 00:14:49,779 That's much worse than a real snake. 383 00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:51,172 I did do that. 384 00:14:51,215 --> 00:14:53,522 Yes, you did and you can do this. 385 00:14:53,565 --> 00:14:55,611 Yeah. 386 00:14:55,654 --> 00:14:57,178 Okay. 387 00:14:57,221 --> 00:14:58,266 Yeah. I'm doing it. 388 00:14:58,309 --> 00:14:59,528 Okay. 389 00:14:59,571 --> 00:15:01,138 I'm doing it right now.Yeah. 390 00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:06,056 You got to get a little closer. 391 00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:07,840 Oh. 392 00:15:07,884 --> 00:15:09,016 Okay. 393 00:15:09,059 --> 00:15:11,409 Hey, little buddy. Come on. 394 00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:12,628 I'm gonna pick you up now. 395 00:15:12,671 --> 00:15:15,239 Here I come. 396 00:15:15,283 --> 00:15:17,763 Stay away from my eyeballs. 397 00:15:17,807 --> 00:15:19,113 Aah. 398 00:15:19,156 --> 00:15:20,766 Look at you. 399 00:15:20,810 --> 00:15:22,768 I know. I did it. 400 00:15:22,812 --> 00:15:24,553 [laughs]I did it! 401 00:15:24,596 --> 00:15:26,163 Oh, sorry, Brian. 402 00:15:27,686 --> 00:15:30,689 Aw. Hey, you know what? 403 00:15:30,733 --> 00:15:32,996 He is kind of cute. 404 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:33,866 Mm. [chuckles] 405 00:15:33,910 --> 00:15:36,130 Hey, maybe we could keep him. 406 00:15:36,173 --> 00:15:37,435 What does he eat? 407 00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:38,697 Dead baby mice. 408 00:15:38,741 --> 00:15:40,090 So long, Brian. 409 00:15:40,134 --> 00:15:42,788 There you go. 410 00:15:44,573 --> 00:15:46,227 Hi, Andi. 411 00:15:46,270 --> 00:15:47,489 Hey, Joe. 412 00:15:47,532 --> 00:15:49,534 Enough small talk. Let's eat. 413 00:15:49,578 --> 00:15:51,188 You know, 414 00:15:51,232 --> 00:15:53,843 any time you make my mother's beef stew recipe, 415 00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:54,887 I come running. 416 00:15:54,931 --> 00:15:56,454 I do know that. 417 00:15:56,498 --> 00:15:58,021 And I-I told a little fib. 418 00:15:58,065 --> 00:15:59,936 Yeah, you're not here to have beef stew. 419 00:15:59,980 --> 00:16:02,243 You're here to have feelings with Adam. 420 00:16:02,286 --> 00:16:04,419 What? 421 00:16:04,462 --> 00:16:07,204 I smell Grandma's beef stew. 422 00:16:07,248 --> 00:16:09,990 [chuckles] Wait. 423 00:16:10,033 --> 00:16:11,774 What's he doing here? 424 00:16:11,817 --> 00:16:12,775 ANDI: I called your father 425 00:16:12,818 --> 00:16:14,211 over here because, you know, 426 00:16:14,255 --> 00:16:16,213 you helped me with my thing, 427 00:16:16,257 --> 00:16:18,911 so now I'm gonna help you with yours. 428 00:16:18,955 --> 00:16:21,436 [groans] This is your moment. 429 00:16:21,479 --> 00:16:23,699 [whispering]: Pick up that snake. 430 00:16:24,787 --> 00:16:25,918 I don't want to. 431 00:16:25,962 --> 00:16:27,790 Ah, no talking, no stew. 432 00:16:27,833 --> 00:16:29,748 All right? I will dump this in the sink right now. 433 00:16:29,792 --> 00:16:31,794 Okay, no, no, no, no.No, no, no, no. 434 00:16:33,622 --> 00:16:35,972 Let me see it. 435 00:16:37,974 --> 00:16:40,237 [groans] 436 00:16:40,281 --> 00:16:42,239 Damn, that looks good. 437 00:16:43,849 --> 00:16:46,591 Okay, fine. 438 00:16:46,635 --> 00:16:48,071 Okay. 439 00:16:48,115 --> 00:16:49,942 Then I will leave you to it. 440 00:16:49,986 --> 00:16:53,772 And if I don't hear feelings, the stew gets it. 441 00:17:04,218 --> 00:17:05,958 You got something to say to me? 442 00:17:06,002 --> 00:17:07,699 You got something to say to me? 443 00:17:09,527 --> 00:17:10,963 Okay, fine. I'll start. 444 00:17:13,357 --> 00:17:16,578 I thought we were gonna do the Burns system just the two of us, 445 00:17:16,621 --> 00:17:18,145 like you and Don always did. 446 00:17:18,188 --> 00:17:21,670 Then you brought him in and... 447 00:17:21,713 --> 00:17:23,585 I got my feelings hurt. 448 00:17:23,628 --> 00:17:25,674 That's what the yelling was all about? 449 00:17:25,717 --> 00:17:28,503 The Burns system was never a two-man operation. 450 00:17:28,546 --> 00:17:30,374 Well, then who else was in it? 451 00:17:30,418 --> 00:17:32,550 Some other guy I don't even know about? 452 00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:33,943 You! 453 00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:35,814 You were the kid in the car 454 00:17:35,858 --> 00:17:37,425 that had a baseball game to get to. 455 00:17:37,468 --> 00:17:39,775 You were our clock to rush the guy. 456 00:17:39,818 --> 00:17:41,907 Then why did Don always get to go inside? 457 00:17:41,951 --> 00:17:44,040 It had to be you inside the car. 458 00:17:44,084 --> 00:17:46,260 Nobody's gonna feel sorry for Don sitting out there 459 00:17:46,303 --> 00:17:49,698 with his head sticking out of the sun roof like a giraffe. 460 00:17:52,179 --> 00:17:53,745 So I was in it. 461 00:17:53,789 --> 00:17:56,270 Yeah. 462 00:17:56,313 --> 00:17:59,011 There was never a Burns system without you. 463 00:18:03,581 --> 00:18:05,627 I see. 464 00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:07,455 What's the matter? 465 00:18:07,498 --> 00:18:12,155 I got something in my eye again. 466 00:18:12,199 --> 00:18:14,157 Must be allergy season.Yeah. 467 00:18:14,201 --> 00:18:15,506 You got something in your eye, too? 468 00:18:15,550 --> 00:18:16,855 No. 469 00:18:16,899 --> 00:18:19,249 I'm just 470 00:18:19,293 --> 00:18:21,164 sorry that we didn't close the deal. 471 00:18:21,208 --> 00:18:22,687 Yeah, what happened back there? 472 00:18:22,731 --> 00:18:23,775 Why didn't you buy the car? 473 00:18:23,819 --> 00:18:25,168 It's not important. 474 00:18:26,648 --> 00:18:28,432 Andi, Dad won't tell me what he's feeling. 475 00:18:28,476 --> 00:18:31,870 All right. All... all right. 476 00:18:31,914 --> 00:18:35,352 The thing is, when I went to close the deal, 477 00:18:35,396 --> 00:18:38,964 the salesman said that that car would last me a good 15 years. 478 00:18:39,008 --> 00:18:40,270 So? 479 00:18:40,314 --> 00:18:43,186 So, I-I realized this might be my last car. 480 00:18:43,230 --> 00:18:46,189 It just kind of hit me. 481 00:18:46,233 --> 00:18:48,583 Oh. 482 00:18:51,412 --> 00:18:54,241 Well... I get it. 483 00:18:55,329 --> 00:18:57,200 It happens. 484 00:18:58,419 --> 00:19:01,378 I fell asleep sitting in a chair at Ikea the other day. 485 00:19:02,510 --> 00:19:04,816 That's not something a young man does. 486 00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:06,383 [chuckles] 487 00:19:06,427 --> 00:19:08,559 Listen, napping is one of the perks of old age. 488 00:19:08,603 --> 00:19:10,648 We should go to a baseball game together. 489 00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:13,477 That's a good three and a half hour siesta. 490 00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:18,743 Hey, I got an idea. Huh? 491 00:19:18,787 --> 00:19:20,832 Let's lease you a car. 492 00:19:20,876 --> 00:19:22,617 Those only last a couple years. 493 00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:24,836 Oh, I like the sound of that. 494 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:25,924 Good. 495 00:19:25,968 --> 00:19:27,230 Yeah, good. 496 00:19:27,274 --> 00:19:29,667 Listen, um, 497 00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:32,148 don't tell Don about what I-I told you. 498 00:19:32,192 --> 00:19:34,933 He doesn't like to talk about feelings like you do. 499 00:19:34,977 --> 00:19:36,283 Oh. 500 00:19:36,326 --> 00:19:38,241 Because you guys aren't as close as we are? 501 00:19:38,285 --> 00:19:42,811 No. Because he lacks your overabundance of lady hormones. 502 00:19:44,639 --> 00:19:46,815 [both chuckle] 503 00:19:51,428 --> 00:19:52,995 Aw, I'm really proud of you both. 504 00:19:53,038 --> 00:19:54,866 Hey. Here, look at me. 505 00:19:54,910 --> 00:19:57,521 Say "feelings." 506 00:20:00,655 --> 00:20:02,744 Oh! That's going on the Christmas card 507 00:20:02,787 --> 00:20:04,615 and you can't stop me. 508 00:20:04,659 --> 00:20:07,444 She's bossy, but she sure makes a fine stew. 509 00:20:07,488 --> 00:20:09,620 Well, she's good at a lot of things. 510 00:20:09,664 --> 00:20:11,840 You should see her handle a snake. 511 00:20:17,106 --> 00:20:19,674 I don't want to hear about your private life. 512 00:20:23,330 --> 00:20:25,549 What's happening? ANDI: Hey, Don. 513 00:20:25,593 --> 00:20:29,379 It's stew night and nobody called me? 514 00:20:29,423 --> 00:20:30,946 Come on. There's plenty. 515 00:20:30,989 --> 00:20:33,775 Already picked out most of the good stuff, anyway. 516 00:20:37,779 --> 00:20:39,389 What's wrong with you? 517 00:20:39,433 --> 00:20:41,348 I just bought a car. 518 00:20:44,612 --> 00:20:46,570 The salesman offered me free Perrier 519 00:20:46,614 --> 00:20:47,919 and the next thing I know, I'm driving home 520 00:20:47,963 --> 00:20:50,182 in a new 15-passenger van. 521 00:20:52,620 --> 00:20:54,926 I don't even know 15 people. 522 00:20:54,970 --> 00:20:55,971 Captioning sponsored by CBS 523 00:20:59,888 --> 00:21:01,890 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org