1
00:00:02,124 --> 00:00:03,792
Bev, you got any fours?

2
00:00:03,825 --> 00:00:05,760
Give you my fours,
you give me your twos.

3
00:00:05,794 --> 00:00:07,229
All right.

4
00:00:07,262 --> 00:00:09,464
That is not how you play gin.

5
00:00:10,632 --> 00:00:12,401
Gin!
Gin!

6
00:00:14,336 --> 00:00:17,072
Well, I can't say
I'm sad it's over.

7
00:00:17,106 --> 00:00:19,074
Hey, uh, listen,
before you guys go,

8
00:00:19,108 --> 00:00:20,709
I need you to clear
your Saturday.

9
00:00:20,742 --> 00:00:22,611
Well, we were all set
to mail a letter,

10
00:00:22,644 --> 00:00:24,613
but I guess we can
wait till Monday.

11
00:00:24,646 --> 00:00:28,117
Good, 'cause this Saturday
is Andi's birthday,

12
00:00:28,150 --> 00:00:30,752
and we're all going out
to dinner to celebrate.

13
00:00:30,785 --> 00:00:32,187
You planned ahead
this year?

14
00:00:33,488 --> 00:00:35,457
Usually first time I hear
about Andi's birthday

15
00:00:35,490 --> 00:00:38,227
is when you're apologizing
to her for forgetting it.
(chuckles)

16
00:00:38,260 --> 00:00:40,595
Okay, I admit that in the past

17
00:00:40,629 --> 00:00:43,132
I have occasionally
lost track of time,

18
00:00:43,165 --> 00:00:46,201
and her birthday snuck up on me.
I've made some mistakes.

19
00:00:48,270 --> 00:00:50,605
This is my yoga mat.

20
00:00:50,639 --> 00:00:54,176
Yeah, you lost it,
and I found it.

21
00:00:54,209 --> 00:00:55,444
Happy birthday.

22
00:00:59,781 --> 00:01:00,749
Hey...

23
00:01:00,782 --> 00:01:02,551
there she is.

24
00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:05,320
Happy birthday.

25
00:01:05,354 --> 00:01:07,522
(clears throat)

26
00:01:07,556 --> 00:01:11,226
"This coupon is good for
one free massage from Adam.

27
00:01:11,260 --> 00:01:13,228
Back or front, your choice."

28
00:01:13,262 --> 00:01:16,298
Fair warning, if we start
on your front,

29
00:01:16,331 --> 00:01:18,300
things will escalate quickly,

30
00:01:18,333 --> 00:01:20,769
and then you can cash in
this coupon.

31
00:01:26,608 --> 00:01:27,842
Did you see the cartoon people?

32
00:01:27,876 --> 00:01:29,244
It's not to scale,
but that could be us.

33
00:01:29,278 --> 00:01:30,545
Yeah.

34
00:01:34,649 --> 00:01:36,251
* Happy...
It was yesterday.

35
00:01:36,285 --> 00:01:38,453
Damn it!

36
00:01:38,487 --> 00:01:41,390
But I'm telling you, things
will be different this year

37
00:01:41,423 --> 00:01:43,558
because Andi told me
they had to be.

38
00:01:45,460 --> 00:01:48,263
Are they gone yet-- Hey!

39
00:01:49,631 --> 00:01:51,233
Hi.

40
00:01:51,266 --> 00:01:53,302
Ah, I'm so glad
I didn't miss you guys.

41
00:01:53,335 --> 00:01:56,538
So are you excited about
your birthday plan?

42
00:01:56,571 --> 00:01:59,274
Ma! I haven't told her yet.
I want to tell her.

43
00:01:59,308 --> 00:02:00,509
Oh, fine, fine.
Go ahead.

44
00:02:01,543 --> 00:02:03,345
It's a dinner!

45
00:02:06,381 --> 00:02:09,218
Y-You already planned
my birthday?

46
00:02:10,752 --> 00:02:12,554
You mean I'm not getting
my own yoga mat again?

47
00:02:13,988 --> 00:02:16,558
I lost it for you
on purpose, just in case.

48
00:02:16,591 --> 00:02:18,393
Well, find it.

49
00:02:18,427 --> 00:02:20,829
I already made a reservation
at your favorite restaurant,

50
00:02:20,862 --> 00:02:21,863
I scheduled the kids

51
00:02:21,896 --> 00:02:23,465
for sleepovers that night,

52
00:02:23,498 --> 00:02:24,833
and-- this is the best part--

53
00:02:24,866 --> 00:02:27,969
the dinner is on
your actual birthday.

54
00:02:28,002 --> 00:02:29,404
(gasps)

55
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:33,242
That's right.

56
00:02:34,276 --> 00:02:37,212
I'm pretty handsome now,
aren't I?

57
00:02:37,246 --> 00:02:39,914
Yeah, you are.
(chuckles)

58
00:02:39,948 --> 00:02:43,318
We've never gotten to celebrate
on the real day before.

59
00:02:43,352 --> 00:02:44,753
Yeah.
This is so exciting.

60
00:02:44,786 --> 00:02:46,688
We're going
to dinner Sunday!

61
00:02:46,721 --> 00:02:49,391
Yeah-- Ah-ah, nice try.
It's Saturday.

62
00:02:49,424 --> 00:02:51,226
You're right.
You did it.

63
00:02:51,260 --> 00:02:52,261
Yes, I did.

64
00:02:52,294 --> 00:02:55,397
So do you want me to handle
all the logistics?

65
00:02:55,430 --> 00:02:56,865
Yes, say yes.

66
00:02:58,633 --> 00:03:01,370
What logistics?
It's dinner with my parents,

67
00:03:01,403 --> 00:03:02,937
Don and Marcy,
and Lowell and his wife.

68
00:03:02,971 --> 00:03:03,938
It's easy.

69
00:03:03,972 --> 00:03:07,609
She's throwing you
a lifeline. Grab it, son.

70
00:03:10,379 --> 00:03:11,680
So everybody's coming?

71
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:13,782
Well, I haven't
sent out the e-mail yet.

72
00:03:13,815 --> 00:03:15,016
BOTH:
Oh, no.

73
00:03:15,049 --> 00:03:17,452
I'm sure it'll be fine.

74
00:03:17,486 --> 00:03:19,654
These two already said
they're coming.

75
00:03:19,688 --> 00:03:21,290
Well, we do have
some requirements.

76
00:03:21,323 --> 00:03:24,326
Your father needs to be near
a bathroom, but not facing it.

77
00:03:24,359 --> 00:03:25,994
He-he wants the convenience,

78
00:03:26,027 --> 00:03:28,563
but he doesn't like the
eye contact when they come out.

79
00:03:30,399 --> 00:03:32,801
And, uh, your mother
can't eat on a carpet.

80
00:03:32,834 --> 00:03:35,804
She's susceptible
to static electricity.

81
00:03:35,837 --> 00:03:39,374
I've seen a doorknob make her
fly right across the room.

82
00:03:41,042 --> 00:03:43,345
See? It's not easy.

83
00:03:43,378 --> 00:03:45,314
I should take over.

84
00:03:45,347 --> 00:03:47,382
Honey, it's handled, okay?

85
00:03:47,416 --> 00:03:50,018
I got the private,
no carpet.
Oh.

86
00:03:50,051 --> 00:03:51,853
And the bathroom
is just around the corner.

87
00:03:53,021 --> 00:03:55,590
You think I don't know
how weird they are?

88
00:03:57,426 --> 00:03:59,394
We're weird,
but we're not deaf.

89
00:04:01,029 --> 00:04:04,466
So you really think
you can pull this off?

90
00:04:05,934 --> 00:04:07,802
Because now you're
getting my hopes up.

91
00:04:07,836 --> 00:04:11,406
And if they come crashing down,
they're gonna land on you.

92
00:04:13,007 --> 00:04:15,477
Look, all I have to do
is send out the invitations.

93
00:04:15,510 --> 00:04:19,448
One e-mail and... done.

94
00:04:19,481 --> 00:04:20,749
(cell phones vibrating)

95
00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:22,617
Something's
happening to me.

96
00:04:24,653 --> 00:04:26,921
That's the e-mail, Joe.

97
00:04:26,955 --> 00:04:29,658
I told you not to put your
new phone in your pocket.

98
00:04:29,691 --> 00:04:32,694
Oh. Send another
one, will you?

99
00:04:34,663 --> 00:04:36,665
*

100
00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:47,576
Jen and I are super excited to
be invited to Andi's birthday.

101
00:04:47,609 --> 00:04:50,445
We took you to dinner
a year ago, and since then,

102
00:04:50,479 --> 00:04:52,914
we've been waiting for you
to call and return the favor.

103
00:04:52,947 --> 00:04:56,685
Until today, dinner buddy.
Hey.

104
00:04:56,718 --> 00:04:59,521
Hey, about Andi's birthday--
Marcy says we can't make it.

105
00:04:59,554 --> 00:05:02,357
She made plans with people
from her pottery class, so...

106
00:05:02,391 --> 00:05:04,459
Pottery class? Those
people are strangers.

107
00:05:04,493 --> 00:05:06,928
I take you
to urgent care once a week

108
00:05:06,961 --> 00:05:08,697
to get a nail out of your hand.

109
00:05:08,730 --> 00:05:10,365
Cancel it.

110
00:05:10,399 --> 00:05:11,833
I can't change Marcy's plans.

111
00:05:11,866 --> 00:05:13,935
I got one boss,
and it ain't you.

112
00:05:13,968 --> 00:05:15,937
You guys have to come.

113
00:05:15,970 --> 00:05:18,407
This is about my reputation
as a husband.

114
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,375
Well, when you put it that way,

115
00:05:20,409 --> 00:05:22,577
we still can't come,
but now I don't feel bad.

116
00:05:24,479 --> 00:05:26,415
Oh, here comes
that mean building inspector.

117
00:05:26,448 --> 00:05:27,916
She always looks
like she's trying

118
00:05:27,949 --> 00:05:29,918
to scare the hiccups
out of someone.
Joy's okay.

119
00:05:29,951 --> 00:05:32,887
We had her and Rudy over
for dinner the other night.

120
00:05:32,921 --> 00:05:34,723
You just met her! No, no.

121
00:05:34,756 --> 00:05:36,725
I got what I wanted.
I'll allow it.

122
00:05:36,758 --> 00:05:38,427
(sighs)

123
00:05:38,460 --> 00:05:40,695
Hey, how'd the
electrical check out?

124
00:05:40,729 --> 00:05:42,964
We all good out there,
neighbor?
Listen,

125
00:05:42,997 --> 00:05:44,933
just because I'm friends
with your wife doesn't mean

126
00:05:44,966 --> 00:05:46,768
I'm gonna let things
slide around here.

127
00:05:46,801 --> 00:05:49,804
If anything, I'm gonna be
tougher on you.
Oh.

128
00:05:49,838 --> 00:05:53,041
So it pains me
to say... you pass.

129
00:05:53,074 --> 00:05:56,578
Hey, uh, Joy, how would
you and Rudy like to come

130
00:05:56,611 --> 00:05:58,780
to Andi's birthday
dinner on Saturday?

131
00:05:58,813 --> 00:06:02,116
Oh, we'd love to.
Just one tiny thing--

132
00:06:02,150 --> 00:06:04,653
I made Rudy a vegan,
but he doesn't know it.

133
00:06:04,686 --> 00:06:06,888
So make sure there's
something on that menu

134
00:06:06,921 --> 00:06:08,490
that looks like meat, but isn't.

135
00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:13,595
Poor guy,

136
00:06:13,628 --> 00:06:15,129
married to her,
and now she's gonna

137
00:06:15,163 --> 00:06:16,598
make him live forever.
(laughs)

138
00:06:17,932 --> 00:06:19,834
What was that?
What was what?

139
00:06:19,868 --> 00:06:21,603
Well, Marcy and I figured
since we couldn't go,

140
00:06:21,636 --> 00:06:22,704
you would move the dinner.

141
00:06:22,737 --> 00:06:24,172
I can't move the dinner.

142
00:06:24,205 --> 00:06:26,040
It's on Andi's birthday.

143
00:06:26,074 --> 00:06:28,443
So you replaced us?
Yeah.

144
00:06:28,477 --> 00:06:29,811
How can you be so far behind?

145
00:06:29,844 --> 00:06:32,514
It happened
right in front of you.

146
00:06:32,547 --> 00:06:34,449
ADAM:
So,

147
00:06:34,483 --> 00:06:37,852
it's tofu, but you'll paint it
brown like meat?

148
00:06:37,886 --> 00:06:41,523
Well, it sounds disgusting.
Okay.

149
00:06:41,556 --> 00:06:43,925
I'll see you Saturday night.

150
00:06:43,958 --> 00:06:46,661
Was that about my
birthday dinner?

151
00:06:46,695 --> 00:06:49,230
My hopes are
flying high.

152
00:06:49,263 --> 00:06:50,532
(laughing):
Yeah.

153
00:06:50,565 --> 00:06:52,200
Are there gonna
be any surprises?

154
00:06:52,233 --> 00:06:53,735
Mostly for Rudy.

155
00:06:53,768 --> 00:06:57,772
Oh, good. Rudy and
Joy are coming, too?

156
00:06:57,806 --> 00:07:01,643
"Too," "also," "instead of"--
all those fun birthday words.

157
00:07:01,676 --> 00:07:03,545
What?

158
00:07:03,578 --> 00:07:05,780
Don and Marcy can't make it.

159
00:07:05,814 --> 00:07:07,582
Aw, really?

160
00:07:07,616 --> 00:07:09,117
Well, that's not
a bad thing.

161
00:07:09,150 --> 00:07:11,653
I mean, Joy and Rudy
will have some new stories.

162
00:07:11,686 --> 00:07:14,589
We've already heard
all of Don's, you know?

163
00:07:14,623 --> 00:07:17,759
He thought that raccoon
was a cat. Remember? Huh?

164
00:07:17,792 --> 00:07:19,961
He didn't know pickles
were cucumbers.

165
00:07:19,994 --> 00:07:24,132
He forgot the raccoon wasn't a
cat, and tried to pet it again.

166
00:07:24,165 --> 00:07:26,868
It's just, you know-- and
you wouldn't know this

167
00:07:26,901 --> 00:07:28,837
'cause you've never
planned one of these--

168
00:07:28,870 --> 00:07:31,205
but, um, there's a rule
that everybody agrees on

169
00:07:31,239 --> 00:07:34,108
that if one couple can't make
it, that we change the night.

170
00:07:34,142 --> 00:07:36,678
(laughing):
Honey,

171
00:07:36,711 --> 00:07:38,513
that's not everybody's rule.

172
00:07:38,547 --> 00:07:40,549
That's just your rule
because you're nice.

173
00:07:40,582 --> 00:07:43,552
But lucky for you, I'm not.

174
00:07:43,585 --> 00:07:45,520
Okay?

175
00:07:45,554 --> 00:07:49,558
So we are having dinner
on your actual birthday.

176
00:07:49,591 --> 00:07:50,859
Yeah, I-I got
to be honest.

177
00:07:50,892 --> 00:07:54,563
My hopes are losing a
little altitude, okay?

178
00:07:54,596 --> 00:07:56,164
Are you sure you
can pull this off?

179
00:07:56,197 --> 00:07:57,732
Yes. Yes.

180
00:07:57,766 --> 00:08:01,135
So just, look--
sit back and relax.

181
00:08:01,169 --> 00:08:05,073
You are in for a smooth flight.

182
00:08:06,908 --> 00:08:09,277
Uh-huh.

183
00:08:11,112 --> 00:08:14,082
I'm just gonna call Marcy
and figure everything out.

184
00:08:14,115 --> 00:08:16,718
Look, if you pick
up that phone,

185
00:08:16,751 --> 00:08:18,820
you're saying
you don't believe in me.

186
00:08:18,853 --> 00:08:20,989
(sputters)
I believe in you.

187
00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:24,793
Then why are you still
walking towards the phone?

188
00:08:27,629 --> 00:08:29,631
Am I?

189
00:08:29,664 --> 00:08:33,101
Andi, I'm telling you, this
dinner is coming together.

190
00:08:33,134 --> 00:08:35,003
Yes, there was a
little speed bump,

191
00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:37,005
but everyone's cool with it.

192
00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:39,273
He frickin' replaced us?

193
00:08:39,307 --> 00:08:42,944
No. No, we are not
replaceable. We are family.

194
00:08:42,977 --> 00:08:45,279
Technically, I'm family.
You're just the wife.

195
00:08:46,314 --> 00:08:47,916
Sharesies?

196
00:08:47,949 --> 00:08:50,118
We are going
to that dinner.

197
00:08:50,151 --> 00:08:52,020
You tell your brother
we are in.

198
00:08:52,053 --> 00:08:54,689
(sighs) You just made me
tell him we were out.

199
00:08:54,723 --> 00:08:55,924
It was a power move.

200
00:08:55,957 --> 00:08:57,659
We lost. Let's move on.

201
00:08:57,692 --> 00:08:59,928
(sighs)
Okay, okay.

202
00:08:59,961 --> 00:09:01,663
Just one question.

203
00:09:01,696 --> 00:09:03,765
How long will menopause last?

204
00:09:06,267 --> 00:09:08,737
Hey, guys.
Oh, Don, so,

205
00:09:08,770 --> 00:09:10,705
I called the restaurant
to get you and Marcy back in.

206
00:09:10,739 --> 00:09:13,074
I did like you said. I told
the guy it was for Don Burns.

207
00:09:13,107 --> 00:09:16,645
He got all excited and said,
"Don Burns? The Don Burns?"

208
00:09:16,678 --> 00:09:18,680
Really?
No. They didn't care.

209
00:09:19,814 --> 00:09:21,950
They can only fit eight
in the private room.

210
00:09:21,983 --> 00:09:24,185
Look, you got to help me out.
Marcy's all over me.

211
00:09:24,218 --> 00:09:27,221
I tried to hide from her,
but my house is too small.

212
00:09:27,255 --> 00:09:29,624
Look, Don,
there's nothing I can do.

213
00:09:29,658 --> 00:09:31,359
Last night I had to pretend
to work under my car

214
00:09:31,392 --> 00:09:33,862
until she
went to sleep.

215
00:09:33,895 --> 00:09:35,229
Come on, little brother.

216
00:09:35,263 --> 00:09:37,799
Okay, fine. Forget it.
Dinner's cancelled.

217
00:09:37,832 --> 00:09:39,768
No!

218
00:09:39,801 --> 00:09:41,970
I thought we'd just
follow the dumb rule

219
00:09:42,003 --> 00:09:43,672
and do it on a night
when everyone can go.

220
00:09:43,705 --> 00:09:45,674
There, you happy?
Thank you.

221
00:09:45,707 --> 00:09:47,041
All right,
I'm off to the lumberyard.

222
00:09:47,075 --> 00:09:48,843
Okay, good luck
at the dog track.
Thanks.

223
00:09:50,244 --> 00:09:53,114
No. Don't do this.

224
00:09:53,147 --> 00:09:54,916
Rescheduling means
it's never going to happen,

225
00:09:54,949 --> 00:09:57,085
and I already took the tags off
my new outfit.

226
00:09:59,187 --> 00:10:01,222
Don't worry.

227
00:10:01,255 --> 00:10:02,791
I'm not rescheduling.

228
00:10:02,824 --> 00:10:04,158
I just said that
to get Don off my back.

229
00:10:04,192 --> 00:10:05,827
Saturday is still on.

230
00:10:05,860 --> 00:10:08,797
Yes! Wow.
What a roller coaster.

231
00:10:09,998 --> 00:10:12,834
(clears throat)

232
00:10:12,867 --> 00:10:15,136
You really think
you can pull this off?

233
00:10:15,169 --> 00:10:17,005
Why do people keep
asking me that?

234
00:10:17,038 --> 00:10:19,440
Hey, look, all we have
to do is not let Andi know

235
00:10:19,473 --> 00:10:21,275
that Don and Marcy
think it's cancelled.

236
00:10:21,309 --> 00:10:23,745
And it goes without saying
that Don and Marcy can't know

237
00:10:23,778 --> 00:10:25,313
that it's not cancelled.

238
00:10:25,346 --> 00:10:26,915
Or that it is cancelled.

239
00:10:26,948 --> 00:10:28,950
No. That it's not cancelled.

240
00:10:28,983 --> 00:10:30,719
Yeah. It's easy, man.

241
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:35,289
But what if Joy tells Marcy?

242
00:10:35,323 --> 00:10:38,426
Ooh. Oh, but that's
not gonna be a problem--

243
00:10:38,459 --> 00:10:40,461
they don't even know each other.
See? I planned that,

244
00:10:40,494 --> 00:10:42,897
and I didn't even know it--
that's how good I am.

245
00:10:44,232 --> 00:10:45,734
DON:
I don't understand

246
00:10:45,767 --> 00:10:47,836
why you could sample a
grape but not an apple.

247
00:10:47,869 --> 00:10:49,303
Because it's not a buffet.

248
00:10:49,337 --> 00:10:50,705
JOY:
Don.

249
00:10:50,739 --> 00:10:52,006
DON:
Hi, Joy.

250
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,108
Is this tall fellow
bothering you, ma'am?

251
00:10:54,142 --> 00:10:56,177
For 23 years.

252
00:10:57,045 --> 00:10:58,379
Joy, this is my
wife, Marcy.

253
00:10:58,412 --> 00:11:00,882
Hi, Marcy.
This is my husband, Rudy.

254
00:11:00,915 --> 00:11:02,383
(chuckles):
Hey.
Hey.

255
00:11:02,416 --> 00:11:03,852
I'm looking forward
to eating some steaks

256
00:11:03,885 --> 00:11:05,086
with you at Andi's
birthday dinner.

257
00:11:05,119 --> 00:11:06,721
I hope they're good.

258
00:11:06,755 --> 00:11:08,790
The last few I've had
have been real mushy.

259
00:11:08,823 --> 00:11:10,391
MARCY:
Oh, no,

260
00:11:10,424 --> 00:11:11,425
didn't you hear?

261
00:11:11,459 --> 00:11:12,727
No, Don and I were busy,

262
00:11:12,761 --> 00:11:13,895
so they decided to reschedule.

263
00:11:13,928 --> 00:11:15,096
No, it's still on.

264
00:11:15,129 --> 00:11:16,264
What?

265
00:11:16,297 --> 00:11:17,899
Yeah, Adam sent out

266
00:11:17,932 --> 00:11:20,301
an e-mail today
confirming it. See?

267
00:11:20,334 --> 00:11:21,803
Do you see this?

268
00:11:21,836 --> 00:11:23,304
He is still having
that dinner.

269
00:11:23,337 --> 00:11:25,740
He took us off the e-mail
so we wouldn't know.

270
00:11:25,774 --> 00:11:27,776
We were only
on the first e-mail.

271
00:11:27,809 --> 00:11:30,111
The first e-mail?
This is the only one we got.

272
00:11:30,144 --> 00:11:31,780
No, that is
the second e-mail.

273
00:11:31,813 --> 00:11:33,381
Rudy, do you know
what this means?

274
00:11:33,414 --> 00:11:35,917
When they couldn't go,
Adam subbed us in.

275
00:11:35,950 --> 00:11:37,485
We're just seat fillers.

276
00:11:37,518 --> 00:11:38,987
Hmm.
Rudy!

277
00:11:39,020 --> 00:11:41,022
This is an outrage!

278
00:11:42,423 --> 00:11:43,992
*

279
00:11:52,901 --> 00:11:54,202
What?

280
00:11:55,837 --> 00:11:58,439
I have to ask-- how's it going
with my birthday dinner?

281
00:11:58,472 --> 00:12:00,875
Perfect. Just like you.

282
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:05,013
And all the organizing?

283
00:12:05,046 --> 00:12:06,981
Easy. Just like you.

284
00:12:07,015 --> 00:12:08,182
Ha.

285
00:12:08,216 --> 00:12:10,018
(both chuckle)

286
00:12:10,051 --> 00:12:11,953
It's funny, 'cause it's true.

287
00:12:11,986 --> 00:12:13,487
Yeah. Yeah.

288
00:12:13,521 --> 00:12:15,256
I'm about to get a lot easier,

289
00:12:15,289 --> 00:12:16,925
'cause I'm going for more wine.

290
00:12:17,959 --> 00:12:18,993
(knocking at door)

291
00:12:19,027 --> 00:12:21,062
Well, fill it to the brim,

292
00:12:21,095 --> 00:12:25,099
because this birthday
is nothing but smooth sailing.

293
00:12:28,970 --> 00:12:30,872
Who was that?

294
00:12:30,905 --> 00:12:32,974
Wrong number.

295
00:12:39,313 --> 00:12:41,549
Seriously, who was that?
Nobody.

296
00:12:41,582 --> 00:12:42,884
I heard knocking.

297
00:12:42,917 --> 00:12:44,252
Oh, that was two old crows

298
00:12:44,285 --> 00:12:45,553
that flew into the door.

299
00:12:51,092 --> 00:12:53,227
What are you doing?

300
00:12:53,261 --> 00:12:55,997
Nothing. I just want
to be close to you.

301
00:12:57,231 --> 00:12:58,933
How about a kiss?

302
00:12:58,967 --> 00:13:00,001
Hmm?

303
00:13:00,034 --> 00:13:01,836
(laughs):
Aw. That's sweet.

304
00:13:05,239 --> 00:13:07,575
Huh.

305
00:13:07,608 --> 00:13:10,845
I was sure you were
hiding something from me.

306
00:13:10,879 --> 00:13:13,114
Me? I'd never hide
anything from you.

307
00:13:19,153 --> 00:13:20,321
Hey, guys.

308
00:13:20,354 --> 00:13:22,891
Oh, look--
the crows are back.

309
00:13:24,058 --> 00:13:25,059
MARCY:
Now, I'm sorry

310
00:13:25,093 --> 00:13:26,460
that you have to see this,

311
00:13:26,494 --> 00:13:29,163
but there are some things
that need to be said

312
00:13:29,197 --> 00:13:32,901
to your bonehead husband
about your birthday dinner.

313
00:13:32,934 --> 00:13:34,635
Why are you two here together?

314
00:13:34,668 --> 00:13:36,337
You don't even know each other.

315
00:13:36,370 --> 00:13:39,840
We're friends now.
Helps to have a common enemy.

316
00:13:40,674 --> 00:13:41,876
He insulted me.

317
00:13:41,910 --> 00:13:43,177
Yeah. And he lied to me.

318
00:13:43,211 --> 00:13:45,013
You said you were
rescheduling the dinner,

319
00:13:45,046 --> 00:13:46,080
and you didn't.

320
00:13:46,114 --> 00:13:47,048
What?!

321
00:13:47,081 --> 00:13:49,217
She chose pottery class
over your birthday.

322
00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:51,352
You were supposed
to change the date.

323
00:13:51,385 --> 00:13:53,087
That's the rule.

324
00:13:53,121 --> 00:13:54,322
That's Andi's rule,
because she's nice.

325
00:13:54,355 --> 00:13:56,057
So that rule
doesn't apply to you.

326
00:13:58,592 --> 00:14:01,062
He subbed me and Rudy
in as seat fillers.

327
00:14:01,095 --> 00:14:03,297
Nobody puts Joy
on the B-team.

328
00:14:03,331 --> 00:14:05,433
I'm not a "B."
I'm an "A."

329
00:14:05,466 --> 00:14:09,070
An "A"! As in I will
kick you in the "A"!

330
00:14:11,239 --> 00:14:14,075
You said you had this handled.

331
00:14:14,108 --> 00:14:16,244
You said it was
all eas like me.

332
00:14:16,277 --> 00:14:17,578
(gasps)
He said that
to you?

333
00:14:17,611 --> 00:14:19,080
Yeah, and she thought
it was funny.

334
00:14:19,113 --> 00:14:20,281
Stay out of my marriage.

335
00:14:20,314 --> 00:14:22,083
I am out of your marriage.

336
00:14:22,116 --> 00:14:23,918
And I'm out of this dinner, too.

337
00:14:23,952 --> 00:14:26,988
Okay, well, I'll
get over it.

338
00:14:27,021 --> 00:14:28,990
Congratulations, Marcy,
you're back in.
Oh, no, no.

339
00:14:29,023 --> 00:14:30,491
I'm not coming
to your dinner, either.

340
00:14:30,524 --> 00:14:32,626
What?!
So neither of
you are coming?

341
00:14:32,660 --> 00:14:34,628
We'll do something fun
another time with you.

342
00:14:34,662 --> 00:14:37,498
And we'll have a great time--
because he won't be there.

343
00:14:41,369 --> 00:14:43,104
(sighs heavily)

344
00:14:44,538 --> 00:14:46,174
(scoffs)
Those two, huh?

345
00:14:46,207 --> 00:14:47,541
(forced chuckle)

346
00:14:49,377 --> 00:14:51,145
Yeah. They're not the problem.

347
00:14:51,179 --> 00:14:52,346
You're right.

348
00:14:52,380 --> 00:14:54,148
We need to remember
to lock that back door.

349
00:14:54,182 --> 00:14:56,050
(groans)

350
00:14:56,084 --> 00:14:57,318
RUDY:
I can't believe your wife

351
00:14:57,351 --> 00:14:59,520
was so mad
she left you here.

352
00:14:59,553 --> 00:15:00,688
Yours did, too.

353
00:15:00,721 --> 00:15:03,257
Well, I can believe
my wife did it.

354
00:15:03,291 --> 00:15:05,960
I've just never seen it happen
to someone else.

355
00:15:06,995 --> 00:15:08,963
Thanks for coming
to pick us up.

356
00:15:08,997 --> 00:15:11,099
Yeah. I needed to get
out of the house.

357
00:15:11,132 --> 00:15:13,367
Andi was so mad
she stopped blinking.

358
00:15:13,401 --> 00:15:15,103
She was just staring,

359
00:15:15,136 --> 00:15:18,206
like a painting
of an angry wife.

360
00:15:18,239 --> 00:15:20,541
Listen, I need people
at her birthday dinner.

361
00:15:20,574 --> 00:15:23,177
You got to help me
out with your wives.

362
00:15:23,211 --> 00:15:24,378
(scoffs) Yeah, you
just picked us up

363
00:15:24,412 --> 00:15:26,047
from a grocery store

364
00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:27,581
where our wives left us.
Yeah.

365
00:15:27,615 --> 00:15:30,218
Did they say if they
were coming back, or...?

366
00:15:30,251 --> 00:15:31,552
Did they even mention us?

367
00:15:31,585 --> 00:15:33,521
Will you two
pay attention?

368
00:15:33,554 --> 00:15:35,589
Okay? I got to do
something about this.

369
00:15:35,623 --> 00:15:37,058
You got to do more
than something.

370
00:15:37,091 --> 00:15:39,093
This is like when
your team is way down

371
00:15:39,127 --> 00:15:40,995
at the bottom of the ninth.
Yeah. You can't
just hit a double.

372
00:15:41,029 --> 00:15:43,031
BOTH:
You need a grand slam.

373
00:15:44,298 --> 00:15:46,367
Boy, I have
never felt more

374
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,469
like a third wheel.

375
00:15:48,502 --> 00:15:51,239
But you're right, what
I need is a big idea

376
00:15:51,272 --> 00:15:53,541
that's gonna
blow her mind.

377
00:15:53,574 --> 00:15:55,309
It'll come to me.

378
00:16:02,650 --> 00:16:04,718
I needed a big idea.

379
00:16:04,752 --> 00:16:07,221
I-It didn't come to me.

380
00:16:08,356 --> 00:16:10,458
You look beautiful
way down there.

381
00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:14,095
So, now nobody's coming?

382
00:16:14,128 --> 00:16:16,230
No.

383
00:16:16,264 --> 00:16:19,633
Don and Marcy got to my parents,
so they canceled in protest,

384
00:16:19,667 --> 00:16:21,269
and... Lowell and Jen said

385
00:16:21,302 --> 00:16:23,171
they didn't want
their first dinner with us

386
00:16:23,204 --> 00:16:25,239
to be on what he called a...

387
00:16:25,273 --> 00:16:27,408
"ruined night."

388
00:16:27,441 --> 00:16:29,177
You know what, for your sake,

389
00:16:29,210 --> 00:16:32,213
I-I think it's a good thing
that I'm way down here.

390
00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:37,118
Boy, that was
a quiet ride.

391
00:16:37,151 --> 00:16:38,586
(chuckles)

392
00:16:38,619 --> 00:16:41,489
Good call not wasting
all your words on the ride home.

393
00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:43,291
(chuckles nervously)

394
00:16:44,392 --> 00:16:46,560
And you're not blinking again.

395
00:16:48,229 --> 00:16:49,763
Honey, I'm so sorry. I...

396
00:16:49,797 --> 00:16:52,333
I don't know what to say. I...

397
00:16:53,267 --> 00:16:54,702
(softly):
Um...

398
00:17:01,109 --> 00:17:02,343
Surprise!

399
00:17:02,376 --> 00:17:04,578
Oh, my God!
(chuckles)

400
00:17:04,612 --> 00:17:06,514
Oh, my God.

401
00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:08,482
You threw me a
surprise party.

402
00:17:08,516 --> 00:17:12,052
That's right. Yeah, I needed
a big idea, and it came to me.

403
00:17:13,487 --> 00:17:15,356
Well, how did you
pull this off?

404
00:17:15,389 --> 00:17:17,391
Well, it wasn't easy
getting them here.

405
00:17:17,425 --> 00:17:18,626
Part of the agreement was

406
00:17:18,659 --> 00:17:20,661
I had to admit to being
a lying bonehead.

407
00:17:22,396 --> 00:17:24,265
You'll see it later.
It's written on the cake.

408
00:17:24,298 --> 00:17:26,334
Oh...

409
00:17:27,468 --> 00:17:29,670
*

410
00:17:31,305 --> 00:17:35,276
Hey, everybody, I would
like to make a toast

411
00:17:35,309 --> 00:17:36,610
to my beautiful wife
Ah.

412
00:17:36,644 --> 00:17:38,312
on her birthday.
Aw.

413
00:17:38,346 --> 00:17:40,481
Everything good that
happens in my life

414
00:17:40,514 --> 00:17:42,316
happens because of you.

415
00:17:42,350 --> 00:17:44,718
Oh.
Thank you. And
thanks to all of you

416
00:17:44,752 --> 00:17:47,255
for getting over how
mad you were at me.

417
00:17:48,556 --> 00:17:49,790
It was our pleasure.

418
00:17:49,823 --> 00:17:51,825
I really enjoyed
how much you begged.

419
00:17:51,859 --> 00:17:53,394
JOY:
Remember that part

420
00:17:53,427 --> 00:17:55,363
where he started
to cry a little?

421
00:17:58,299 --> 00:18:00,434
Your husband is
very thoughtful.

422
00:18:01,369 --> 00:18:02,670
This one here has messed up

423
00:18:02,703 --> 00:18:04,438
every birthday in my 40s.

424
00:18:04,472 --> 00:18:06,707
Wha...?
But you've got
one year left

425
00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:08,476
before I turn 50.

426
00:18:08,509 --> 00:18:11,779
She's telling
people she's 49?

427
00:18:11,812 --> 00:18:14,348
That means she
had me when...

428
00:18:14,382 --> 00:18:15,683
Just let her have it, boy.

429
00:18:18,186 --> 00:18:19,653
Hey, Jen,
sorry it took

430
00:18:19,687 --> 00:18:21,622
so long to have
you guys over.

431
00:18:21,655 --> 00:18:23,824
Hey, how about you come over
tomorrow for game night?

432
00:18:23,857 --> 00:18:26,427
What's your pleasure?
Pictionary? Yahtzee?

433
00:18:26,460 --> 00:18:29,830
Boggle?
Or we can do all three,
Pic-Yahtzee-Boggle.

434
00:18:29,863 --> 00:18:34,368
Oh, wow. Uh, well, let me talk
to Andi about that right now.

435
00:18:36,470 --> 00:18:38,606
We were too interesting.
Mm-hmm.

436
00:18:38,639 --> 00:18:40,408
Oh, here's one I hate--

437
00:18:40,441 --> 00:18:42,443
you're minding your own
business, watching television,

438
00:18:42,476 --> 00:18:45,413
the wife walks in and says,
"There you are."

439
00:18:45,446 --> 00:18:48,349
Mm-hmm. And then
it's good-bye fun.

440
00:18:48,382 --> 00:18:50,351
And hello, Bed
Bath & Beyond.

441
00:18:52,686 --> 00:18:54,922
I seriously think we
should vacation together.

442
00:18:54,955 --> 00:18:57,858
I would not say
no to a cruise.

443
00:18:57,891 --> 00:18:59,360
Yeah.

444
00:18:59,393 --> 00:19:02,463
This is a great
birthday, honey.

445
00:19:02,496 --> 00:19:05,266
I mean, you know,
my hopes were high,

446
00:19:05,299 --> 00:19:07,435
and then they were
real low, and then...

447
00:19:07,468 --> 00:19:10,438
you know, you came through
with this, and it's, like...

448
00:19:10,471 --> 00:19:12,873
(imitates explosion)

449
00:19:12,906 --> 00:19:14,375
Hey, you know
what I'm thinking?

450
00:19:14,408 --> 00:19:16,210
Next time you offer
to handle logistics,

451
00:19:16,244 --> 00:19:17,345
I'm gonna let you.

452
00:19:17,378 --> 00:19:19,547
I can't even
spell "logistics."

453
00:19:19,580 --> 00:19:21,615
What am I doing trying to
handle them? (chuckles)

454
00:19:21,649 --> 00:19:23,684
Come on. You're on a roll.

455
00:19:23,717 --> 00:19:26,354
Aw.
Can't wait to see
what my present is.

456
00:19:34,528 --> 00:19:36,630
Me, neither.

457
00:19:36,664 --> 00:19:39,633
I-I mean, I can't wait
to see you open it.

458
00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:41,635
Yeah. I know what it is.

459
00:19:41,669 --> 00:19:45,573
Yeah. It's on the truck.
I'll go get it. Here.

460
00:19:45,606 --> 00:19:47,341
All right.
I'll be right back.

461
00:19:49,410 --> 00:19:50,644
In about an hour.

462
00:19:57,785 --> 00:19:59,920
I say from now on we
stand up to our wives.

463
00:19:59,953 --> 00:20:02,323
The next time one of them
says, "There you are,"

464
00:20:02,356 --> 00:20:05,459
we just say, "Not
now, I'm busy."

465
00:20:05,493 --> 00:20:07,328
I'm in.

466
00:20:07,361 --> 00:20:08,596
All right.
I feel strong, man.

467
00:20:08,629 --> 00:20:09,997
I feel good.

468
00:20:10,030 --> 00:20:11,999
Good.

469
00:20:12,032 --> 00:20:13,534
BOTH:
There you are.

470
00:20:13,567 --> 00:20:15,002
Not now, I'm busy.

471
00:20:18,406 --> 00:20:19,707
Not now, you're what?

472
00:20:19,740 --> 00:20:22,276
No, he told... he...

473
00:20:24,044 --> 00:20:26,480
Don, you left me hanging.

474
00:20:26,514 --> 00:20:28,916
I'm sorry, I lost my nerve.

475
00:20:33,387 --> 00:20:35,556
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

476
00:20:35,589 --> 00:20:37,991
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org