1
00:00:01,390 --> 00:00:02,824
MAN WITH A PLAN #201
"The Silver Fox"
Closed Captioned

2
00:00:02,857 --> 00:00:04,226
ADAM:
You got us going to the opera

3
00:00:04,259 --> 00:00:06,295
three nights in a row?

4
00:00:06,328 --> 00:00:10,199
Just tell me what I did wrong,
and I won't do it again.

5
00:00:10,232 --> 00:00:13,135
No, no. It's an arts festival,
all right?

6
00:00:13,168 --> 00:00:15,337
The first night is opera,
the second night is ballet,

7
00:00:15,370 --> 00:00:17,372
and then the third night is

8
00:00:17,406 --> 00:00:19,074
(under breath):
jazz poetry.

9
00:00:20,375 --> 00:00:22,777
Did you say
"jazz poetry"?

10
00:00:22,811 --> 00:00:25,214
Listen, I-I watched
this Oprah thing

11
00:00:25,247 --> 00:00:27,382
about how exposing yourself
to the fine arts

12
00:00:27,416 --> 00:00:31,353
can maximize
your life's potential.

13
00:00:31,386 --> 00:00:33,822
You ever notice Oprah
doesn't have a husband?

14
00:00:35,390 --> 00:00:38,427
Mom, you have to
return this shirt.

15
00:00:38,460 --> 00:00:41,330
Tiffany from school said
it was offensively boring.

16
00:00:41,363 --> 00:00:45,300
Andi, Katie doesn't like
her shirt. We can't go out.

17
00:00:46,335 --> 00:00:47,802
Here's what you do;
you look Tiffany

18
00:00:47,836 --> 00:00:49,438
straight in the eye,
and you say,

19
00:00:49,471 --> 00:00:51,306
"It doesn't matter what I wear

20
00:00:51,340 --> 00:00:55,310
because there's a candle in me
that no wind can blow out."

21
00:00:55,344 --> 00:00:57,279
Sure, I'll say that

22
00:00:57,312 --> 00:00:58,747
if you tell me what school
you're transferring me to.

23
00:00:58,780 --> 00:01:00,182
Oh.

24
00:01:00,215 --> 00:01:01,283
(doorbell rings)

25
00:01:01,316 --> 00:01:02,384
Oh, guys, that's
the babysitter.

26
00:01:04,586 --> 00:01:07,289
Hi.

27
00:01:07,322 --> 00:01:09,558
I'm sorry, uh, I think you're
in the wrong neighborhood.

28
00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:11,560
Are you looking
for Coachella?

29
00:01:11,593 --> 00:01:13,395
Adam, this is Sophia.

30
00:01:13,428 --> 00:01:14,863
She volunteers down
at the hospital.

31
00:01:14,896 --> 00:01:17,332
Oh.
Hi. You must be Emme.

32
00:01:17,366 --> 00:01:20,502
I'm the cute one you're not
gonna be able to say no to.

33
00:01:20,535 --> 00:01:23,172
(laughs)
I was just thinking that.

34
00:01:23,205 --> 00:01:24,906
I'm Ted. What's up, girl?

35
00:01:24,939 --> 00:01:27,509
Don't say that.

36
00:01:27,542 --> 00:01:30,445
You said it was a good line
for picking up babes.

37
00:01:30,479 --> 00:01:32,847
Don't say that, either.

38
00:01:32,881 --> 00:01:34,883
Uh, come on in.

39
00:01:34,916 --> 00:01:36,385
Awesome.

40
00:01:39,521 --> 00:01:40,689
And, Andi, come on out.

41
00:01:43,225 --> 00:01:44,826
J-Just one...
(chuckles)

42
00:01:44,859 --> 00:01:47,496
What have you brought
into our home?

43
00:01:47,529 --> 00:01:49,398
What's wrong with Sophia?

44
00:01:49,431 --> 00:01:51,766
Oh, come on. What does she
do down at the hospital?

45
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,936
Just walk around and give
people a reason to live?

46
00:01:54,969 --> 00:01:58,407
Plus, I thought Katie
was our babysitter now.

47
00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,409
Well, yeah, but this is
three school nights in a row.

48
00:02:00,442 --> 00:02:02,677
And I knew Kate would be mad
if I got a sitter,

49
00:02:02,711 --> 00:02:05,447
so I got a young, cool one
that she'd like.

50
00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:07,216
Andi, you made a
rule in this house

51
00:02:07,249 --> 00:02:08,783
that we would never
hire hot babysitters.

52
00:02:08,817 --> 00:02:11,486
You said, "No one
above a six."

53
00:02:12,354 --> 00:02:14,323
She's a 60.

54
00:02:14,356 --> 00:02:17,192
Yes, Adam, there was a time
that I didn't want

55
00:02:17,226 --> 00:02:20,329
a young, hot girl hanging
around my husband, but...

56
00:02:20,362 --> 00:02:21,696
it's fine now.

57
00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:27,636
What is that
supposed to mean?

58
00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:29,438
You know,
we're getting older...

59
00:02:29,471 --> 00:02:31,873
Okay, don't
include me in that.

60
00:02:31,906 --> 00:02:33,475
I am not getting older.

61
00:02:33,508 --> 00:02:36,245
I am maturing
into a silver fox.

62
00:02:36,278 --> 00:02:37,546
Okay? And what is
more attractive

63
00:02:37,579 --> 00:02:40,549
to a young woman
than a silver fox?

64
00:02:40,582 --> 00:02:43,452
A young, healthy fox?

65
00:02:43,485 --> 00:02:47,322
Andi, the dad and
the hot babysitter?

66
00:02:47,356 --> 00:02:50,425
That's the premise of,
like, every good movie.

67
00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:54,529
Alpha male providing
for his family.

68
00:02:54,563 --> 00:02:57,532
Young minx sees
that, wants that,

69
00:02:57,566 --> 00:02:59,401
decides to kill the wife

70
00:02:59,434 --> 00:03:02,871
and make new babies
with Mr. Alpha.

71
00:03:02,904 --> 00:03:06,475
It's a whole aisle
at the video store.

72
00:03:06,508 --> 00:03:07,609
Okay, well, I'm gonna say,

73
00:03:07,642 --> 00:03:09,311
if you think
there's still video stores,

74
00:03:09,344 --> 00:03:10,412
I got nothing
to worry about.

75
00:03:14,416 --> 00:03:15,784
They make these
babysitter movies

76
00:03:15,817 --> 00:03:17,786
because it's a real thing.

77
00:03:17,819 --> 00:03:20,322
Let me tell you something,
I've been getting looks

78
00:03:20,355 --> 00:03:23,558
from babysitters since...
I was babysat.

79
00:03:23,592 --> 00:03:25,594
(opera music playing)

80
00:03:31,633 --> 00:03:34,769
She drags me to this thing
and now she's sleeping?

81
00:03:34,803 --> 00:03:38,006
She is gonna pay for this.

82
00:03:38,039 --> 00:03:39,808
Oh, yeah.

83
00:03:42,811 --> 00:03:44,346
So, how'd it go?

84
00:03:44,379 --> 00:03:45,580
Oh, the kids were great.

85
00:03:45,614 --> 00:03:47,582
You know, I think
it's so sweet that Teddy

86
00:03:47,616 --> 00:03:50,719
wanted to sit on my lap
and get rocked to sleep.

87
00:03:52,821 --> 00:03:56,491
Not a bad move, actually.

88
00:03:56,525 --> 00:04:00,729
Well, the opera
was amazing, okay?

89
00:04:04,466 --> 00:04:08,837
I... feel like
a changed woman, you know?

90
00:04:08,870 --> 00:04:10,305
ADAM:
All right.

91
00:04:10,339 --> 00:04:13,708
Well, we should
probably, uh, let you go.

92
00:04:13,742 --> 00:04:15,710
And, uh, listen,
if something comes up

93
00:04:15,744 --> 00:04:17,379
tomorrow night, last minute,

94
00:04:17,412 --> 00:04:19,381
and you can't make it,
I'll pay you double.

95
00:04:19,414 --> 00:04:21,516
(laughs)
You're hilarious.

96
00:04:21,550 --> 00:04:23,017
All right, see you tomorrow.

97
00:04:23,051 --> 00:04:25,053
Bye.
Bye.

98
00:04:25,086 --> 00:04:27,556
Did you hear that?

99
00:04:28,590 --> 00:04:30,725
She thinks I'm hilarious.

100
00:04:30,759 --> 00:04:33,395
It's starting.

101
00:04:33,428 --> 00:04:36,531
Okay, clearly I hit a nerve,

102
00:04:36,565 --> 00:04:38,600
but, you know, don't take it
personally, honey.

103
00:04:38,633 --> 00:04:40,301
I mean, I'm getting older, too.

104
00:04:41,102 --> 00:04:42,471
The stock boy
at the grocery store

105
00:04:42,504 --> 00:04:43,972
barely looks down
my shirt anymore.

106
00:04:44,005 --> 00:04:46,541
What stock boy? Brian?

107
00:04:46,575 --> 00:04:48,977
I bought a candy bar
for his stupid basketball team

108
00:04:49,010 --> 00:04:50,545
and he does me like this?

109
00:04:52,481 --> 00:04:53,648
Hey, where's Sophia?

110
00:04:53,682 --> 00:04:54,916
Oh, she just left.

111
00:04:54,949 --> 00:04:56,651
Ugh. I wanted
to show her...

112
00:04:59,654 --> 00:05:01,723
What happened to you?

113
00:05:01,756 --> 00:05:03,525
Uh... a little culture.

114
00:05:03,558 --> 00:05:06,127
She is radiant.

115
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:10,064
Look, I just wanted to say
how awesome Sophia is.

116
00:05:10,098 --> 00:05:12,000
She's super cool
and really easy to talk to.

117
00:05:12,033 --> 00:05:15,404
Ah, I knew it. See?

118
00:05:15,437 --> 00:05:20,542
I think moms are a little cooler
than you give us credit for.

119
00:05:20,575 --> 00:05:23,545
Uh, honey, you got a little,
uh, a little...

120
00:05:23,578 --> 00:05:24,879
a little something
on your...
What? What?

121
00:05:24,913 --> 00:05:26,915
...a little something
right there.
Where?

122
00:05:28,016 --> 00:05:30,452
(gasps)
Adam!

123
00:05:31,953 --> 00:05:33,955
I'm not even sorry, señor.

124
00:05:36,024 --> 00:05:38,627
*

125
00:05:46,801 --> 00:05:48,570
And then Andi
basically says I'm too old

126
00:05:48,603 --> 00:05:50,905
to be attractive
to the hot babysitter.

127
00:05:50,939 --> 00:05:54,509
That's crazy.
It's the babysitter and the dad.

128
00:05:55,977 --> 00:05:58,112
Has Andi never been
to the video store?

129
00:05:58,146 --> 00:05:59,914
That's what I said.

130
00:05:59,948 --> 00:06:01,583
By the way,

131
00:06:01,616 --> 00:06:03,852
there's no more video
stores. Get with it, man.

132
00:06:05,954 --> 00:06:07,622
Well, thank you for drawing

133
00:06:07,656 --> 00:06:09,691
a semi-permanent mustache
on my face.

134
00:06:11,225 --> 00:06:12,661
Kept trying to rub it off,

135
00:06:12,694 --> 00:06:14,829
but it just looked like
I was stroking it.

136
00:06:14,863 --> 00:06:17,732
Hey, you were sleeping
with your mouth open.

137
00:06:17,766 --> 00:06:19,634
You're lucky
I didn't black out a tooth.

138
00:06:19,668 --> 00:06:21,736
No, you didn't do that
because I fell asleep.

139
00:06:21,770 --> 00:06:23,505
You did it
because of what I said

140
00:06:23,538 --> 00:06:24,639
about you and the babysitter.

141
00:06:24,673 --> 00:06:26,675
Oh.
Oh, that's
definitely why.

142
00:06:26,708 --> 00:06:28,777
He was just
talking about it.

143
00:06:33,582 --> 00:06:34,983
Okay, well, enjoy the ballet.

144
00:06:35,016 --> 00:06:37,085
I'll just be stuck at home
watching the playoffs.

145
00:06:42,691 --> 00:06:46,227
Kate, why did you cut up
your new shirt?

146
00:06:46,260 --> 00:06:48,129
Oh, Sophia said to beat Tiffany
at her own game

147
00:06:48,162 --> 00:06:49,898
by making it cooler
than anything she wears.

148
00:06:49,931 --> 00:06:51,232
But I bought one, too.

149
00:06:51,265 --> 00:06:53,668
We were twinsies.

150
00:06:53,702 --> 00:06:55,036
Well, you're not cutting up
your shirt.

151
00:06:55,069 --> 00:06:57,472
Stock Boy Brian is getting
an eyeful as it is.

152
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:01,610
Oh, and, uh, you don't have to
make dinner for me and Sophia.

153
00:07:01,643 --> 00:07:02,877
She's bringing sushi.

154
00:07:02,911 --> 00:07:05,113
I'm always trying
to get you to eat sushi.

155
00:07:05,146 --> 00:07:06,581
You said you hate it.

156
00:07:06,615 --> 00:07:08,917
Sophia said I'd like it.

157
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:12,053
I said you'd like it.

158
00:07:12,086 --> 00:07:13,655
But then Sophia said it.

159
00:07:16,758 --> 00:07:18,092
Did you hear that?

160
00:07:18,126 --> 00:07:19,961
She's gonna try sushi
for Sophia?

161
00:07:21,029 --> 00:07:24,799
Hope Sophia gets a chopstick
in the eye.

162
00:07:24,833 --> 00:07:26,167
Way to rise above it.

163
00:07:27,936 --> 00:07:29,671
(sniffs)

164
00:07:29,704 --> 00:07:32,106
You smell that? What is that?

165
00:07:32,140 --> 00:07:34,776
Hey, Dad,
Sophia's gonna be here soon.

166
00:07:34,809 --> 00:07:35,777
How much cologne is too much?

167
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:40,882
You nailed it, buddy.

168
00:07:43,785 --> 00:07:45,554
I don't see why
you're so bent out of shape.

169
00:07:45,587 --> 00:07:47,088
I thought the whole reason
you hired Sophia

170
00:07:47,121 --> 00:07:48,823
was so that Katie
would like her.

171
00:07:48,857 --> 00:07:49,958
It was.

172
00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:51,259
And that's what happened.

173
00:07:51,292 --> 00:07:53,261
I know.

174
00:07:53,294 --> 00:07:57,198
But now you seem mad.
Oh, I'm mad.

175
00:07:57,231 --> 00:07:58,667
Take it easy.

176
00:07:58,700 --> 00:08:00,068
I mean, I-I'd go
get you a wine,

177
00:08:00,101 --> 00:08:03,304
but it's $17, and if I go,
I'm not coming back.

178
00:08:03,337 --> 00:08:06,074
You know what?
Sophia needs to be told

179
00:08:06,107 --> 00:08:07,642
that there are boundaries.

180
00:08:07,676 --> 00:08:11,312
Right? And I would like
for you to do that.

181
00:08:11,345 --> 00:08:14,215
All right, I'll talk to her,
but I think you're overreacting.

182
00:08:14,248 --> 00:08:17,318
I am not. I give Kate
advice, all right?

183
00:08:17,351 --> 00:08:19,754
Not some hotsy-totsy
babysitter.

184
00:08:19,788 --> 00:08:22,290
All right, her only job
is to heat up Hot Pockets,

185
00:08:22,323 --> 00:08:24,893
give Teddy some cheap
thrills and get out.

186
00:08:27,896 --> 00:08:30,531
What? We're not
ballet people.

187
00:08:34,068 --> 00:08:34,803
Hey.

188
00:08:34,836 --> 00:08:35,937
How was night two?

189
00:08:35,970 --> 00:08:38,807
Better, yeah.
We both fell asleep.

190
00:08:39,974 --> 00:08:43,044
Kate, you're still up
gabbing with your gal pal.

191
00:08:43,077 --> 00:08:46,014
That's great. I love to
see you two getting along.

192
00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:47,048
(Andi chuckles)

193
00:08:47,081 --> 00:08:48,216
Adam.

194
00:08:48,249 --> 00:08:49,584
What?

195
00:08:49,618 --> 00:08:50,585
Adam.

196
00:08:50,619 --> 00:08:51,586
What?

197
00:08:51,620 --> 00:08:52,787
Adam.

198
00:08:52,821 --> 00:08:54,288
Am I not saying, "What?"

199
00:08:54,322 --> 00:08:56,725
I hear myself
saying, "What?"

200
00:08:56,758 --> 00:08:59,728
Oh, my God, we are
having such a blast.

201
00:08:59,761 --> 00:09:01,362
Sophia Instagrammed a
picture of my new top

202
00:09:01,395 --> 00:09:02,931
and everyone liked it.

203
00:09:02,964 --> 00:09:05,033
So, Tiffany had to.
It was total domination.

204
00:09:05,066 --> 00:09:06,835
Mm-hmm. We owned her.

205
00:09:06,868 --> 00:09:09,037
Give it up, girl.

206
00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:10,939
(chuckles)

207
00:09:10,972 --> 00:09:14,042
I love the new secret
handshake, and I...

208
00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:15,944
and-and I-I'm glad
that Sophia's advice

209
00:09:15,977 --> 00:09:17,846
worked out for you. Adam!

210
00:09:17,879 --> 00:09:20,048
Oh! Okay, okay.
I gotcha, I gotcha.

211
00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:21,883
Uh, come on, honey. Let's
get you to bed. Come on.

212
00:09:21,916 --> 00:09:22,984
See you tomorrow.

213
00:09:23,017 --> 00:09:24,218
Can't wait.

214
00:09:24,252 --> 00:09:27,722
Okay, keep it moving.

215
00:09:27,756 --> 00:09:29,223
All righty, here you go.

216
00:09:29,257 --> 00:09:31,660
Thank you.

217
00:09:31,693 --> 00:09:34,829
Uh, actually, uh,
now that we're alone,

218
00:09:34,863 --> 00:09:37,899
we need to have a talk
about boundaries.

219
00:09:37,932 --> 00:09:39,834
The wife's a little upset.

220
00:09:39,868 --> 00:09:41,836
Oh.

221
00:09:41,870 --> 00:09:43,805
Well, then,
I guess I'll just have

222
00:09:43,838 --> 00:09:45,940
to try to behave
myself around you.

223
00:09:49,343 --> 00:09:52,346
Wh-Who? Me?

224
00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:53,848
Me, me?

225
00:09:53,882 --> 00:09:56,785
You know what I mean.

226
00:09:56,818 --> 00:09:59,220
I knew it!

227
00:09:59,253 --> 00:10:00,689
(chuckles):
Oh, my gosh.

228
00:10:00,722 --> 00:10:02,757
You are just ridiculous.

229
00:10:02,791 --> 00:10:04,726
(stammering):
O-Okay.

230
00:10:04,759 --> 00:10:07,195
(chuckling):
Yeah, well, you...

231
00:10:07,228 --> 00:10:11,032
That's, uh, that's me,
ridiculous. Okay.

232
00:10:11,065 --> 00:10:13,802
See you tomorrow.

233
00:10:15,904 --> 00:10:18,006
Yeah.

234
00:10:18,039 --> 00:10:19,407
Buh-bye.

235
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:34,422
The silver fox.

236
00:10:44,866 --> 00:10:46,467
So, did you talk to Sophia
about the boundaries?

237
00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,870
Oh, I did.
And what I learned is,

238
00:10:48,903 --> 00:10:51,906
there is no boundary strong
enough to protect her

239
00:10:51,940 --> 00:10:55,476
from my overwhelming
silver foxiness.

240
00:10:55,509 --> 00:10:57,946
What?

241
00:10:57,979 --> 00:10:59,380
Okay, so what exactly happened?

242
00:10:59,413 --> 00:11:01,750
She said, and I quote,

243
00:11:01,783 --> 00:11:04,886
"Oh, my gosh,
you are just ridiculous."

244
00:11:07,922 --> 00:11:10,291
Is this the intermission,
or is that the whole story?

245
00:11:10,324 --> 00:11:12,460
Okay, how about this?

246
00:11:12,493 --> 00:11:15,163
When she was leaving,
she said, "See you tomorrow."

247
00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:18,199
And her eyebrows were going
all over her face, like this.

248
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,502
Okay, Adam, I believe

249
00:11:21,535 --> 00:11:24,138
that you believe
something happened.

250
00:11:24,172 --> 00:11:27,075
I'm telling you, this girl is
well on her way to killing you

251
00:11:27,108 --> 00:11:29,310
and making me give her babies.

252
00:11:29,343 --> 00:11:30,979
I'm gonna roll the dice
on that one.

253
00:11:31,012 --> 00:11:33,147
Fine.

254
00:11:33,181 --> 00:11:35,149
But when you're a ghost
floating over the bed,

255
00:11:35,183 --> 00:11:37,718
watching us make babies,
you'll be sorry!

256
00:11:45,259 --> 00:11:46,360
ADAM:
Andi doesn't believe me,

257
00:11:46,394 --> 00:11:47,762
but I'm telling you,
I was getting

258
00:11:47,796 --> 00:11:49,764
major vibes from the babysitter.

259
00:11:49,798 --> 00:11:51,732
She was eye-snacking me.

260
00:11:53,367 --> 00:11:55,036
All the ladies love Adam.

261
00:11:55,069 --> 00:11:57,238
I went to froyo with him,
and the girl behind the counter

262
00:11:57,271 --> 00:12:00,141
upgraded him to a waffle cone,
no charge.

263
00:12:01,910 --> 00:12:04,112
She wouldn't even give me
a water cup.

264
00:12:05,847 --> 00:12:07,481
Enjoy your youth, son.

265
00:12:07,515 --> 00:12:10,451
I used to be a porch light
for every moth in town.

266
00:12:11,886 --> 00:12:13,321
I think this whole thing
is a sign

267
00:12:13,354 --> 00:12:17,058
that Andi and I are getting
complacent in our marriage.

268
00:12:17,091 --> 00:12:20,294
I drew a mustache on my own wife
like she was a drinking buddy.

269
00:12:21,896 --> 00:12:23,464
I wouldn't have done that
five years ago.

270
00:12:23,497 --> 00:12:25,299
Well, I don't know,
everybody says

271
00:12:25,333 --> 00:12:27,035
the best time in a
marriage is when you get

272
00:12:27,068 --> 00:12:28,369
really comfortable
with each other.

273
00:12:28,402 --> 00:12:30,138
Well, everybody is wrong.

274
00:12:31,472 --> 00:12:33,041
Okay. You know what every
marriage really needs?

275
00:12:33,074 --> 00:12:35,877
Trust?
Trust? No. Gross.

276
00:12:36,911 --> 00:12:38,479
No, the thing that keeps
the romance alive

277
00:12:38,512 --> 00:12:40,014
in a marriage is fear.

278
00:12:41,015 --> 00:12:42,851
Both people need to think
they got someone better

279
00:12:42,884 --> 00:12:45,820
than they deserve, so they bust
their butts to hang on.

280
00:12:45,854 --> 00:12:49,223
Fear is the...
the special sauce.

281
00:12:49,257 --> 00:12:51,159
Fear, huh?

282
00:12:51,192 --> 00:12:53,027
Now, does this
special sauce work

283
00:12:53,061 --> 00:12:54,795
if only the husband is scared?

284
00:12:55,964 --> 00:12:57,431
I'm asking for a friend.

285
00:13:01,035 --> 00:13:05,907
Honey, I want to apologize
for the jazz poetry.

286
00:13:05,940 --> 00:13:09,410
Yeah, why would anyone put those
two terrible things together?

287
00:13:09,443 --> 00:13:12,380
It's like getting a root canal
during a colonoscopy.

288
00:13:12,413 --> 00:13:14,148
(both laugh)
That's funny.

289
00:13:14,182 --> 00:13:17,852
I'm-- You know, I'm afraid
to even go in there.

290
00:13:17,886 --> 00:13:20,021
I mean, if Kate and Sophia
have another new handshake,

291
00:13:20,054 --> 00:13:22,090
I'm gonna start pulling hair.

292
00:13:22,123 --> 00:13:24,625
Andi, the big deal isn't
what Sophia's doing with Katie,

293
00:13:24,658 --> 00:13:26,961
it's what Sophia wants to do
with Mr. Alpha.

294
00:13:26,995 --> 00:13:28,096
And I'm gonna
prove it to you.

295
00:13:28,129 --> 00:13:29,630
So, buckle up, I am about to go

296
00:13:29,663 --> 00:13:31,299
full silver fox
on the babysitter.

297
00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:35,937
Wait. Are you the silver fox
or are you Mr. Alpha?

298
00:13:35,970 --> 00:13:38,973
I'm alpha silver fox.

299
00:13:39,007 --> 00:13:40,875
This is for you, baby, okay?

300
00:13:40,909 --> 00:13:42,043
No, Adam, wait.
No, no.

301
00:13:42,076 --> 00:13:44,212
You just watch her eyebrows.
They tell the whole story.

302
00:13:45,479 --> 00:13:48,016
Hey.

303
00:13:48,049 --> 00:13:49,951
You survived jazz poetry.
How was it?

304
00:13:49,984 --> 00:13:53,421
Ugh. It was like getting a
root canal during a colonoscopy.

305
00:13:53,454 --> 00:13:55,056
(chuckles)

306
00:13:55,089 --> 00:13:58,159
A colonoscopy.
I think my dad had one of those.

307
00:14:00,161 --> 00:14:01,462
Okay, why don't we just,
uh, pay Sophia

308
00:14:01,495 --> 00:14:03,031
and let her go on her way?

309
00:14:03,064 --> 00:14:05,533
Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure.
But first, let me just,

310
00:14:05,566 --> 00:14:07,568
uh, get this jacket off--
it's so tight.

311
00:14:07,601 --> 00:14:09,537
(groans)

312
00:14:09,570 --> 00:14:11,005
When you swing a hammer
for a living,

313
00:14:11,039 --> 00:14:12,573
everything gets
bigger and stronger...

314
00:14:15,944 --> 00:14:17,078
Adam, you really don't
have to do this.

315
00:14:17,111 --> 00:14:18,246
No, no, no.
Open the window.

316
00:14:18,279 --> 00:14:19,647
I'm about to turn up the heat.

317
00:14:22,150 --> 00:14:23,551
Oh, hey, Sophia,

318
00:14:23,584 --> 00:14:24,986
look at that.

319
00:14:25,019 --> 00:14:26,520
Emme left her doll on the floor.

320
00:14:26,554 --> 00:14:27,655
I'll-I'll get it.

321
00:14:27,688 --> 00:14:31,392
I guess I'll just bend over--
probably the best way.

322
00:14:43,237 --> 00:14:47,075
Okay. Okay, Magic Mike,
show's over.

323
00:14:47,108 --> 00:14:49,443
Hey, my roommate

324
00:14:49,477 --> 00:14:51,379
just texted me and said
that she can't pick me up.

325
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:53,081
Is there any way
I could catch a ride home?

326
00:14:53,114 --> 00:14:55,183
Oh, yeah, sure.
Adam can take you.

327
00:14:57,185 --> 00:14:58,686
For what it's worth,
I liked your moves.

328
00:15:01,289 --> 00:15:01,722
Night.

329
00:15:01,755 --> 00:15:02,656
Night.

330
00:15:05,726 --> 00:15:07,295
What are you doing to me?

331
00:15:07,328 --> 00:15:09,697
I was dying when you were
showing off your arms.

332
00:15:09,730 --> 00:15:12,266
What? Where were the eyebrows?

333
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:14,668
You were in a coma over there.

334
00:15:14,702 --> 00:15:16,037
You talked to me
about boundaries,

335
00:15:16,070 --> 00:15:17,238
and your wife was right there.

336
00:15:17,271 --> 00:15:18,572
Well...

337
00:15:18,606 --> 00:15:20,741
But she won't be
on the ride home.

338
00:15:20,774 --> 00:15:23,944
It'll just be you and me
and those arms.

339
00:15:24,745 --> 00:15:25,713
I'll be waiting in the car.

340
00:15:25,746 --> 00:15:27,348
Okay.
(chuckles)

341
00:15:31,752 --> 00:15:34,122
Uh-oh.

342
00:15:34,155 --> 00:15:36,257
I was too sexy.

343
00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:41,695
I need a Tums.

344
00:15:41,729 --> 00:15:45,133
Andi, you need to come
downstairs now.

345
00:15:45,166 --> 00:15:48,036
What's wrong?
Alpha silver fox
is being hunted!

346
00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:54,675
There's been
an escalation.

347
00:15:54,708 --> 00:15:57,245
Sophia is gonna
jump me in the car.

348
00:15:57,278 --> 00:15:58,712
You have to
drive her home.

349
00:15:58,746 --> 00:16:01,282
What? Adam, I...

350
00:16:01,315 --> 00:16:05,219
Oh, I know what this is.

351
00:16:05,253 --> 00:16:08,022
You're having a midlife crisis.

352
00:16:08,056 --> 00:16:10,391
No, no, no.
That's not it.

353
00:16:10,424 --> 00:16:12,060
No, it happens
to everyone, okay?

354
00:16:12,093 --> 00:16:14,262
We just have to cheer you up.
Do you want a tattoo?

355
00:16:15,763 --> 00:16:18,532
Or a Jet Ski? Hmm?

356
00:16:18,566 --> 00:16:21,169
I don't get it. I-I'm telling
you this girl's into me,

357
00:16:21,202 --> 00:16:23,371
and you're sending me off
into the night with her.

358
00:16:23,404 --> 00:16:25,539
(scoffs) Meanwhile,
Katie tries sushi,

359
00:16:25,573 --> 00:16:28,576
and you get jealous and make me
have talks about boundaries.

360
00:16:28,609 --> 00:16:30,811
Let me tell you something,
Katie is 15 years old.

361
00:16:30,844 --> 00:16:32,680
It's normal for her
to ignore her mother

362
00:16:32,713 --> 00:16:34,248
and take advice from a friend.

363
00:16:34,282 --> 00:16:36,217
Did you listen to your mother
when you were 15?

364
00:16:36,250 --> 00:16:39,220
Oh, hell no.
I'd still have a perm.

365
00:16:39,253 --> 00:16:42,556
Exactly. And that's normal.
And thank God.

366
00:16:42,590 --> 00:16:43,557
Yeah.

367
00:16:43,591 --> 00:16:44,692
But what's not
normal is

368
00:16:44,725 --> 00:16:46,760
we are losing our special sauce.

369
00:16:46,794 --> 00:16:47,661
Our special what?

370
00:16:47,695 --> 00:16:50,798
Special sauce, Andi!
Our special sauce!

371
00:16:52,233 --> 00:16:54,568
If I tell you a girl is
making moves on me,

372
00:16:54,602 --> 00:16:56,270
you should care.

373
00:16:58,239 --> 00:16:59,707
You're right.

374
00:16:59,740 --> 00:17:02,110
Thank you.

375
00:17:02,143 --> 00:17:04,112
I did overreact about Kate.

376
00:17:06,247 --> 00:17:07,815
Are you kidding me?

377
00:17:07,848 --> 00:17:10,484
Fine. I'll
drive her home,

378
00:17:10,518 --> 00:17:12,753
but I am not responsible
for what happens.

379
00:17:16,390 --> 00:17:18,159
I'm not doing it!

380
00:17:22,230 --> 00:17:23,731
ANDI:
So, Sophia,

381
00:17:23,764 --> 00:17:26,500
last couple days, I've
been feeling a little...

382
00:17:26,534 --> 00:17:28,302
jealous.

383
00:17:28,336 --> 00:17:30,838
Uh-oh.

384
00:17:30,871 --> 00:17:32,840
And I know you had
a conversation

385
00:17:32,873 --> 00:17:34,875
with my husband
about boundaries.

386
00:17:34,908 --> 00:17:36,810
He told you about that?

387
00:17:36,844 --> 00:17:39,513
No, no, no, no, no.
I-I just wanted to tell you,

388
00:17:39,547 --> 00:17:40,581
I'm cool with it.

389
00:17:41,615 --> 00:17:43,651
Yeah, I mean, if it works
for the two of you,

390
00:17:43,684 --> 00:17:44,818
works for me.

391
00:17:44,852 --> 00:17:47,188
Wow.

392
00:17:47,221 --> 00:17:49,223
You're very open-minded.

393
00:17:49,257 --> 00:17:50,524
I know.

394
00:17:51,625 --> 00:17:52,760
In fact, I mean,

395
00:17:52,793 --> 00:17:54,795
I don't want to intrude,
but, um,

396
00:17:54,828 --> 00:17:57,498
it would be great
if sometime all three of us

397
00:17:57,531 --> 00:18:00,334
could be together
while you're doing your thing.

398
00:18:00,368 --> 00:18:02,870
You know, maybe I could
pick up some new tricks.

399
00:18:02,903 --> 00:18:06,507
I've never done that before,
but the more the merrier, I say.

400
00:18:06,540 --> 00:18:09,143
That's the spirit.
(laughs)

401
00:18:09,177 --> 00:18:10,811
We're gonna have
some fun, Sophia.

402
00:18:10,844 --> 00:18:13,781
Yeah, most wives aren't this
open to sharing their husbands.

403
00:18:13,814 --> 00:18:15,283
Well, yeah, you know--

404
00:18:15,316 --> 00:18:16,350
What now?

405
00:18:17,685 --> 00:18:19,887
You're leaving me
at the police station?

406
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:21,889
I was gonna leave you
by the side of the road,

407
00:18:21,922 --> 00:18:23,891
but I'm a mother, and I wanted
you to get home safe.

408
00:18:23,924 --> 00:18:25,793
And you know what,
I'll tell you this.

409
00:18:25,826 --> 00:18:27,928
I don't need any help
in the bedroom, all right?

410
00:18:27,961 --> 00:18:30,864
I have been having sex
longer than you've been alive.

411
00:18:32,566 --> 00:18:35,336
And I should've stopped
talking, but I still win!

412
00:18:35,369 --> 00:18:37,638
What...?

413
00:18:37,671 --> 00:18:39,440
And then, I just
got crazy jealous,

414
00:18:39,473 --> 00:18:41,375
and I left her at
the police station.

415
00:18:41,409 --> 00:18:44,345
Ah, there's the special sauce.

416
00:18:44,378 --> 00:18:46,514
Huh?

417
00:18:46,547 --> 00:18:48,482
(chuckles):
Oh.

418
00:18:48,516 --> 00:18:50,618
Now, you were saying
there was some talk

419
00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:53,421
about some kind
of group thing?

420
00:18:55,423 --> 00:18:58,226
That's crazy. Right?

421
00:19:01,229 --> 00:19:02,563
Yes, it's crazy.

422
00:19:02,596 --> 00:19:05,233
That's what I said.
I didn't say anything else.

423
00:19:06,767 --> 00:19:08,369
I guess the really
good news is

424
00:19:08,402 --> 00:19:12,206
that I'm married to
the silver alpha fox.

425
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,642
That's all I wanted to hear.
(chuckles)

426
00:19:17,978 --> 00:19:20,448
By the way,
it's "alpha silver fox."

427
00:19:25,886 --> 00:19:28,822
Get this. Sophia's Instagram
idea made Tiffany totally mad.

428
00:19:28,856 --> 00:19:30,891
Now she's having a party
and just posted a list

429
00:19:30,924 --> 00:19:33,227
of who's not invited-- look.

430
00:19:33,261 --> 00:19:36,830
"Not invited list:
O.J. Simpson,

431
00:19:36,864 --> 00:19:39,267
a ball of rats,
Katie Burns."

432
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:42,903
Ooh. That's not a list
you want to be on.

433
00:19:42,936 --> 00:19:44,938
Sophia's plan totally backfired.

434
00:19:47,441 --> 00:19:50,778
Mom, what am I gonna do?

435
00:19:50,811 --> 00:19:54,582
Aw. I'm so glad you asked.

436
00:19:54,615 --> 00:19:57,451
Okay... but first,
l-let's do the thing.

437
00:19:59,019 --> 00:20:00,821
Seriously?

438
00:20:00,854 --> 00:20:02,890
Do the thing
with your mother.

439
00:20:03,957 --> 00:20:05,326
(giggles)

440
00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:07,495
Now we're handshake twinsies.

441
00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:10,698
Listen, it just so happens

442
00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:13,934
that the night of the party,
Lady Gaga's in town.

443
00:20:13,967 --> 00:20:15,936
So, what do you say
we go to that

444
00:20:15,969 --> 00:20:17,605
and Instagram
the heck out of it?

445
00:20:17,638 --> 00:20:19,473
I'm so down!
(laughing)

446
00:20:21,842 --> 00:20:24,512
Oh, and you don't have to
worry about Sophia anymore.

447
00:20:24,545 --> 00:20:26,314
You will never
see her again.

448
00:20:26,347 --> 00:20:27,815
Really? What happened?

449
00:20:27,848 --> 00:20:30,318
She hit on your dad.

450
00:20:36,357 --> 00:20:37,958
Gross.
(chuckles)

451
00:20:37,991 --> 00:20:39,893
She's, like, a hundred years
younger than you.

452
00:20:39,927 --> 00:20:41,395
(laughs)

453
00:20:46,734 --> 00:20:48,969
I would like the Jet Ski
to be red.
Okay.

454
00:20:49,002 --> 00:20:50,938
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

455
00:20:50,971 --> 00:20:53,040
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org