1
00:00:03,734 --> 00:00:04,877
That's so weird.

2
00:00:04,902 --> 00:00:07,466
I left a fun-size Baby
Ruth on the kitchen island

3
00:00:07,490 --> 00:00:08,491
and now it's gone.

4
00:00:08,535 --> 00:00:09,840
Huh. Well...

5
00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:11,709
maybe one of the kids took it.

6
00:00:11,734 --> 00:00:13,591
Yeah, that's what I
would've thought except

7
00:00:13,616 --> 00:00:15,759
I saw you take it.

8
00:00:15,803 --> 00:00:17,935
You didn't let me finish.

9
00:00:17,979 --> 00:00:20,111
I was gonna say"maybe
one of the kids took it"

10
00:00:20,155 --> 00:00:24,159
is one theory that would
later be proven false.

11
00:00:25,327 --> 00:00:27,709
You know, if you keep
telling little lies,

12
00:00:27,734 --> 00:00:29,874
I won't believe you
when you tell the truth.

13
00:00:30,428 --> 00:00:32,602
Why does that sound so familiar?

14
00:00:32,646 --> 00:00:34,386
Wait a minute,that's the same speech

15
00:00:34,430 --> 00:00:36,563
you gave to Teddy last night.

16
00:00:36,606 --> 00:00:38,434
Yes, it's The Boy Who Cried Wolf.

17
00:00:38,477 --> 00:00:41,089
Oh.So, I'm the sexy wolf.

18
00:00:42,394 --> 00:00:44,701
- No.
- Hmm?

19
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:46,311
You're the boy who gets eaten

20
00:00:46,355 --> 00:00:47,419
because the villagers don't believe him

21
00:00:47,443 --> 00:00:49,576
when the wolf shows up.

22
00:00:49,619 --> 00:00:51,833
Oh, come on,it was a candy bar.

23
00:00:51,858 --> 00:00:54,319
If it was something
important,people would believe me.

24
00:00:54,363 --> 00:00:56,076
I have a face you believe.

25
00:00:56,101 --> 00:00:58,044
That's why I lie so good.

26
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,040
You know, I told Teddy that story

27
00:01:00,064 --> 00:01:01,588
because he tells fibs, too.

28
00:01:01,631 --> 00:01:03,603
And it just, it made me think that

29
00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:05,978
maybe we're not setting
the best example.

30
00:01:06,536 --> 00:01:09,017
And when I say "we," I mean you.

31
00:01:10,292 --> 00:01:12,686
Well, now I feel bad.

32
00:01:12,729 --> 00:01:17,212
And when I say "I,"I
mean you made me feel bad.

33
00:01:17,255 --> 00:01:18,996
Okay, fine.I promise.

34
00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:21,433
Thank you.

35
00:01:21,477 --> 00:01:25,655
Except for any little fibs
I'm currently in the middle of,

36
00:01:25,699 --> 00:01:27,788
those are grandfathered in.

37
00:01:27,831 --> 00:01:29,616
No, they're not.

38
00:01:29,659 --> 00:01:31,313
Oh.

39
00:01:31,356 --> 00:01:34,664
Well, in that case, um...

40
00:01:34,708 --> 00:01:36,361
Teddy quit soccer a month ago.

41
00:01:36,405 --> 00:01:38,233
We've just been going to Froyo.

42
00:01:43,741 --> 00:01:46,458
If your mother asks, I
was with you all night.

43
00:01:47,491 --> 00:01:50,036
What? What's going on?

44
00:01:51,115 --> 00:01:52,464
Nope.

45
00:01:52,508 --> 00:01:53,770
Not happening.

46
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,642
You are not going to
school wearing those.

47
00:01:55,685 --> 00:01:56,947
Why not?

48
00:01:56,972 --> 00:01:58,814
Because we came to
this country as Pilgrims

49
00:01:58,839 --> 00:02:01,516
and ever since then,it's
been one long striptease

50
00:02:01,541 --> 00:02:03,345
and it stops now.

51
00:02:06,759 --> 00:02:07,978
Dad?

52
00:02:09,407 --> 00:02:12,009
Adam, where's your father?

53
00:02:12,034 --> 00:02:14,946
I-I woke up to a message
saying he was here

54
00:02:14,971 --> 00:02:17,359
and ended up staying
over. What happened?

55
00:02:17,402 --> 00:02:19,947
That is a great question.

56
00:02:19,972 --> 00:02:22,190
You don't know. I know.

57
00:02:22,233 --> 00:02:23,728
But I haven't told you.

58
00:02:23,753 --> 00:02:25,672
That's what we're all
waiting for, right?

59
00:02:26,829 --> 00:02:28,309
Oh, there's my girl.

60
00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:30,111
Are-are you okay?

61
00:02:30,136 --> 00:02:32,766
Yeah, I-I just got a
little sick last night.

62
00:02:32,809 --> 00:02:34,942
- From what?
- Andi's lasagna.

63
00:02:34,985 --> 00:02:37,031
Oh. How many times
do I have to tell you?

64
00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,323
Eat before you come over here.

65
00:02:39,448 --> 00:02:42,761
Okay. Well, thanks for letting him stay.

66
00:02:42,786 --> 00:02:44,255
Yeah, no problem.

67
00:02:44,299 --> 00:02:45,735
It's like he was never even here.

68
00:02:51,617 --> 00:02:53,322
Still no.

69
00:03:03,563 --> 00:03:05,633
This stuff with your
dad sounds pretty shady.

70
00:03:05,658 --> 00:03:07,138
Yeah.

71
00:03:07,422 --> 00:03:09,649
What's with the clogs,Lowell?

72
00:03:09,674 --> 00:03:11,633
Did you lose a bet?

73
00:03:11,870 --> 00:03:14,569
No, I won great arch support.

74
00:03:15,299 --> 00:03:16,976
You know, I hate to say it,

75
00:03:17,001 --> 00:03:19,612
but this reminds me of when
my ex was cheating on me.

76
00:03:19,656 --> 00:03:23,964
Except with less of me
screaming "why" into a pillow.

77
00:03:24,008 --> 00:03:25,966
My dad is not having an affair, Lowell.

78
00:03:26,010 --> 00:03:27,490
He's 80 years old.

79
00:03:27,533 --> 00:03:29,120
With all the pills they have these days,

80
00:03:29,144 --> 00:03:30,841
old age is an endless sex party.

81
00:03:30,884 --> 00:03:32,321
And they're into some kinky stuff.

82
00:03:32,364 --> 00:03:34,584
That's why they have
handles in the showers.

83
00:03:36,208 --> 00:03:38,254
You need to stay off the Internet.

84
00:03:38,469 --> 00:03:40,602
I'm getting to the bottom of this.

85
00:03:43,941 --> 00:03:45,203
What?

86
00:03:45,247 --> 00:03:47,660
Is that how you answer your phone?

87
00:03:47,685 --> 00:03:50,426
Is that how you talk to the guy
who's about to hang up on you?

88
00:03:51,043 --> 00:03:52,903
What was going on this morning?

89
00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:54,778
Here's some Joe for my Joe.

90
00:03:54,821 --> 00:03:57,316
Thank you, sweetheart.

91
00:03:57,857 --> 00:03:59,294
I can't talk.

92
00:03:59,319 --> 00:04:01,495
Meet me at Mick's for lunch.

93
00:04:03,316 --> 00:04:04,603
That's weird.

94
00:04:04,628 --> 00:04:06,920
He didn't want to say
anything in front of my mom.

95
00:04:06,945 --> 00:04:11,273
Hmm. What secret would he
want to keep from his wife?

96
00:04:11,795 --> 00:04:13,805
Not everything's an affair, Lowell.

97
00:04:13,849 --> 00:04:15,372
Well, I hope you're right.

98
00:04:15,416 --> 00:04:17,548
But I bet your new
mom will agree with me.

99
00:04:21,857 --> 00:04:24,642
- All right.
- Lowell.

100
00:04:24,686 --> 00:04:28,591
I think you accidentally
bought some women's shoes.

101
00:04:28,708 --> 00:04:30,997
Dad, will you just
tell me what's going on?

102
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,122
Not in front of the dame.

103
00:04:35,521 --> 00:04:38,656
Okay. But just so you
know, in ancient Holland,

104
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:40,789
these were worn by kings.

105
00:04:44,515 --> 00:04:45,908
All right.

106
00:04:46,273 --> 00:04:49,580
I had my physical and
I need a pacemaker.

107
00:04:49,624 --> 00:04:50,886
What?

108
00:04:50,929 --> 00:04:51,974
Are you okay?

109
00:04:52,018 --> 00:04:53,193
Yeah, I'm fine.

110
00:04:53,236 --> 00:04:54,933
Just a small heart flutter.

111
00:04:54,977 --> 00:04:56,714
- Heart flutter?
- Mm. And last night,

112
00:04:56,739 --> 00:04:59,783
I had to stay at the hospital
for some pre-op tests.

113
00:04:59,808 --> 00:05:01,505
So that's where you were.

114
00:05:01,893 --> 00:05:03,675
But I don't get it,why are
you keeping it from Mom?

115
00:05:03,699 --> 00:05:05,161
Well, she worries too much.

116
00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:07,378
I'll tell her after it's done.

117
00:05:07,402 --> 00:05:09,970
I just,I hate to see my bride upset.

118
00:05:10,396 --> 00:05:11,353
You do?

119
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:12,886
When did that start?

120
00:05:12,930 --> 00:05:14,627
I need you to drive me

121
00:05:14,670 --> 00:05:16,585
to the hospital tomorrow
for the procedure

122
00:05:16,629 --> 00:05:18,614
and then pick me up the next day.

123
00:05:18,639 --> 00:05:19,708
Of course, of course.

124
00:05:19,733 --> 00:05:21,566
But I'm not gonna leave
you there by yourself.

125
00:05:21,590 --> 00:05:23,723
I'll just tell Andi I'm
staying the night with you.

126
00:05:23,766 --> 00:05:24,942
I don't want you to be alone.

127
00:05:24,985 --> 00:05:26,639
No, no, you can't tell Andi.

128
00:05:26,682 --> 00:05:28,404
- Why not?
- Well, it's too risky.

129
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:30,730
She'll tell your mom.

130
00:05:30,773 --> 00:05:33,733
But I'm in the middle of a whole
thing with Andi about lying.

131
00:05:33,776 --> 00:05:35,720
She's come out strongly against it.

132
00:05:37,127 --> 00:05:39,304
I can't do it, Dad. I'm sorry.

133
00:05:39,347 --> 00:05:40,740
All right.

134
00:05:40,783 --> 00:05:42,350
I'll ask your brother.

135
00:05:42,394 --> 00:05:44,744
Don probably loves me.

136
00:05:45,267 --> 00:05:47,094
Why do you always have to go nuclear?

137
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:49,749
Because it works.

138
00:05:49,792 --> 00:05:51,446
So, I can't lie to Andi,

139
00:05:51,490 --> 00:05:53,405
but I have to lie to Andi.

140
00:05:53,430 --> 00:05:56,409
It's okay to bend the truth
with your wife now and again.

141
00:05:56,434 --> 00:05:58,410
That's what I think.

142
00:05:58,453 --> 00:06:02,283
Marriage is a marathon,
and the lies are the bananas

143
00:06:02,327 --> 00:06:03,937
they give you every couple of miles.

144
00:06:03,981 --> 00:06:06,853
Without them, you'd never
make it to the finish line.

145
00:06:06,897 --> 00:06:09,506
I just came very close to hugging you.

146
00:06:10,726 --> 00:06:12,511
All right, I'll do it.

147
00:06:12,554 --> 00:06:14,426
Because it's you and me,
together, without Don,

148
00:06:14,469 --> 00:06:16,167
doing stuff without Don.

149
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,303
- Good boy.
- But, hey, hey...

150
00:06:18,328 --> 00:06:20,495
Andi can't know. All right?
So we need to come up with

151
00:06:20,519 --> 00:06:22,596
a good story to explain
why I'm gone all night.

152
00:06:22,621 --> 00:06:23,696
Don't worry about it.

153
00:06:23,739 --> 00:06:25,306
I've got a guy.

154
00:06:26,917 --> 00:06:28,570
Marcy is your guy?

155
00:06:28,614 --> 00:06:31,965
She came up with that
dynamite lasagna story.

156
00:06:32,009 --> 00:06:34,185
It's well-known that
Andi makes a weak lasagna.

157
00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:36,883
The best lies are perfectly
seasoned with the truth.

158
00:06:36,927 --> 00:06:38,450
My guy's good.

159
00:06:39,930 --> 00:06:41,322
Marcy's Andi's best friend.

160
00:06:41,366 --> 00:06:42,992
She's gonna tell her everything.

161
00:06:43,017 --> 00:06:46,327
No. Normally, I'm on team
Andi,but this is for Joe.

162
00:06:46,352 --> 00:06:48,733
The man who protects me
from my greatest enemy...

163
00:06:48,758 --> 00:06:50,331
his lovely wife, Bev.

164
00:06:50,375 --> 00:06:53,055
If he hadn't convinced her
that I was right for Don,

165
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,008
I'd still be single
and picking up random...

166
00:06:55,032 --> 00:06:56,947
you know what, that's in the past.

167
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:58,909
The point is...

168
00:06:58,934 --> 00:07:00,283
I won't tell Andi.

169
00:07:02,039 --> 00:07:04,302
You and Dad are friends?

170
00:07:04,345 --> 00:07:07,000
How long has this unholy
alliance been going on?

171
00:07:07,044 --> 00:07:10,090
We have been secretly running
this family for decades.

172
00:07:10,134 --> 00:07:12,223
It's a shadow government.

173
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,647
So... you both need an excuse

174
00:07:14,672 --> 00:07:16,357
to be out of the house tomorrow night.

175
00:07:16,401 --> 00:07:18,055
I saw something that might help

176
00:07:18,098 --> 00:07:20,405
while I was cutting up Don's newspaper.

177
00:07:20,448 --> 00:07:24,400
Every day I do that to keep him
from being tempted by bad ideas.

178
00:07:24,425 --> 00:07:25,671
Wow.

179
00:07:25,714 --> 00:07:27,847
It's like North Korea over here.

180
00:07:27,890 --> 00:07:29,502
Oh, like this.

181
00:07:29,527 --> 00:07:32,189
"Free owl to a good home." No.

182
00:07:32,214 --> 00:07:34,897
I won't sit across the dinner
table from Don and his owl.

183
00:07:35,986 --> 00:07:38,336
Oh, here we are.

184
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,988
"Fishing store grand opening."

185
00:07:41,013 --> 00:07:42,356
Ooh...

186
00:07:42,385 --> 00:07:43,819
That's not bad.

187
00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:46,170
But it's not just what you
say,it's how you say it.

188
00:07:46,213 --> 00:07:48,541
The... the reason you get
caught a lot is because

189
00:07:48,566 --> 00:07:50,307
your lies are obvious and lack finesse.

190
00:07:51,218 --> 00:07:53,064
I got this.

191
00:07:53,089 --> 00:07:55,004
Finesse is my middle name.

192
00:07:55,029 --> 00:07:56,808
And my shampoo.

193
00:08:00,573 --> 00:08:03,103
- You ready?
- Don't worry, I got a plan.

194
00:08:03,128 --> 00:08:05,531
I'm gonna pretend to be
nervousand get caught lying

195
00:08:05,556 --> 00:08:07,674
so that Andi'll believe the real lie.

196
00:08:07,699 --> 00:08:10,036
See, most people when they get
caught, they admit the truth...

197
00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:11,946
Just do it,I've got a heart flutter.

198
00:08:13,893 --> 00:08:15,933
- Hi, guys.
- Hey, Andi!

199
00:08:15,958 --> 00:08:18,637
I mean, hey... Andrew.

200
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:20,073
What's going on?

201
00:08:20,117 --> 00:08:23,946
Nothing, nothing, nothing.

202
00:08:23,990 --> 00:08:28,125
It-it was just, uh, Dad
and I wanted to, um...

203
00:08:28,439 --> 00:08:31,867
uh... Is it hot in here?

204
00:08:31,911 --> 00:08:33,890
Wait, before you go on,

205
00:08:33,915 --> 00:08:35,349
I can tell that you're about to lie

206
00:08:35,393 --> 00:08:38,814
and I just want to remind
you that you made a promise.

207
00:08:39,955 --> 00:08:41,086
You're right.

208
00:08:41,111 --> 00:08:42,515
You caught me.

209
00:08:42,540 --> 00:08:43,488
Okay.

210
00:08:43,531 --> 00:08:46,655
Um... here's the truth.

211
00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:49,929
There's a, there's a grand
opening at this fishing store

212
00:08:49,972 --> 00:08:53,006
and the first ten customers
get lots of free stuff.

213
00:08:53,031 --> 00:08:56,123
So, Dad and I wanted to camp
outside on the sidewalk tonight

214
00:08:56,148 --> 00:08:58,218
so that we can be
first in line tomorrow.

215
00:08:58,827 --> 00:09:01,177
See? Doesn't the truth feel better?

216
00:09:01,202 --> 00:09:04,683
So much better. Yeah, you
know,it really will set you free.

217
00:09:04,726 --> 00:09:06,293
- Yeah.
- Huh.

218
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:08,054
Well, I am happy to
handle the kids tonight.

219
00:09:08,078 --> 00:09:09,862
Okay, great.

220
00:09:09,905 --> 00:09:13,518
So, uh, I guess I'll
see you tomorrow morning.

221
00:09:13,561 --> 00:09:15,259
You guys have fun.

222
00:09:15,284 --> 00:09:16,677
I'm headed over to your mom's.

223
00:09:16,702 --> 00:09:19,202
She asked me to bring over my lasagna.

224
00:09:19,522 --> 00:09:22,222
Maybe today's the day that
she'll admit mine's better.

225
00:09:22,773 --> 00:09:24,557
Maybe.

226
00:09:27,179 --> 00:09:30,138
Let's go get you a pacemaker.

227
00:09:30,163 --> 00:09:32,772
See what I did there? I am
one silver-tongued devil.

228
00:09:32,797 --> 00:09:34,790
Yeah, just run the
bases, don't stand there

229
00:09:34,815 --> 00:09:36,143
and watch the ball leave the park.

230
00:09:42,537 --> 00:09:45,714
This tiny juice makes
me feel like a giant.

231
00:09:45,757 --> 00:09:49,239
- Oh, yeah. Whee!
- Mm.

232
00:09:49,282 --> 00:09:50,545
How was the surgery?

233
00:09:50,588 --> 00:09:52,764
I feel groovy.

234
00:09:52,808 --> 00:09:54,810
And they give you unlimited juice.

235
00:09:54,853 --> 00:09:56,420
Oh, he's got a lot more than juice

236
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:57,658
running through his system right now.

237
00:09:57,682 --> 00:09:59,815
You're funny, son.

238
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:02,495
And I like your new hairdo, Andi.

239
00:10:03,949 --> 00:10:06,540
We should've gotten him
on this stuff years ago.

240
00:10:08,711 --> 00:10:11,781
Okay, now we need to focus
on finishing this thing

241
00:10:11,806 --> 00:10:13,045
without me getting caught.

242
00:10:13,089 --> 00:10:16,023
♪ I'm looking over
a four-leaf clover ♪

243
00:10:16,048 --> 00:10:18,181
♪ That I overlooked before. ♪

244
00:10:18,224 --> 00:10:21,401
This is the most critical
part of the mission: re-entry.

245
00:10:21,445 --> 00:10:24,938
Okay? The hard part's not going
to the Moon, it's getting home.

246
00:10:25,438 --> 00:10:27,407
I don't think that's true.

247
00:10:27,451 --> 00:10:30,016
Don't question me about
space,Marcy. I'm an expert.

248
00:10:30,041 --> 00:10:32,369
I once had a beer with Ned Armstrong.

249
00:10:32,412 --> 00:10:33,370
You mean Neil?

250
00:10:33,395 --> 00:10:35,060
- No, Ned. Neil's cousin. 
- Uh-huh.

251
00:10:35,085 --> 00:10:36,679
He told me everything,including the fact

252
00:10:36,703 --> 00:10:38,984
that Neil said, and I quote:

253
00:10:39,028 --> 00:10:41,378
"I'm just worried about getting home."

254
00:10:41,421 --> 00:10:43,861
I wouldn't tell that story again.

255
00:10:44,173 --> 00:10:47,915
The point is, Andi cannot
catch me lying to her.

256
00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:51,127
I promised. Yes, I
immediately broke that promise,

257
00:10:51,170 --> 00:10:52,824
but I would like to do the right thing,

258
00:10:52,868 --> 00:10:54,696
- and make her think I kept it.
- Okay.

259
00:10:54,739 --> 00:10:56,567
Trust the lie, Adam.

260
00:10:56,611 --> 00:10:58,700
Okay? I'm off to babysit your mom

261
00:10:58,743 --> 00:10:59,938
- and keep her distracted.
- What?

262
00:10:59,962 --> 00:11:01,330
She's not gonna want
to hang out with you.

263
00:11:01,354 --> 00:11:02,312
She doesn't like you.

264
00:11:02,355 --> 00:11:03,438
I'm gonna use that.

265
00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:05,223
I'll let her talk about
her favorite subject.

266
00:11:05,489 --> 00:11:06,795
What are you doing here?

267
00:11:06,838 --> 00:11:07,938
I had the night free,

268
00:11:07,963 --> 00:11:09,589
and I thought you'd like
to tell me all the ways

269
00:11:09,613 --> 00:11:11,689
I could be a better
daughter-in-law, wife,

270
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:12,931
and human being.

271
00:11:13,427 --> 00:11:15,733
This is so exciting! Come on in!

272
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:19,949
We'll start with unannounced visits.

273
00:11:21,113 --> 00:11:23,681
Dad said no, but I think they look fine.

274
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:25,253
Those shorts are what people put on

275
00:11:25,278 --> 00:11:27,106
before they put their shorts on.

276
00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:30,192
You know, my friend's
parents have already given up.

277
00:11:30,217 --> 00:11:31,610
Try that.

278
00:11:32,322 --> 00:11:33,822
Hey, everybody.Oh, I'll come back

279
00:11:33,862 --> 00:11:34,882
when Kate's finished getting dressed.

280
00:11:34,906 --> 00:11:36,560
No-no-no-no-no-no.

281
00:11:36,604 --> 00:11:37,842
This is why I wanted you to come over.

282
00:11:37,866 --> 00:11:39,258
They're too short, right?

283
00:11:39,302 --> 00:11:42,305
You're gonna take fashion
advice from a man in clogs?

284
00:11:42,348 --> 00:11:45,166
These are the best-looking
shoes money can buy.

285
00:11:45,191 --> 00:11:47,584
At a doctor's office.

286
00:11:48,659 --> 00:11:50,705
It's a hard "no" on the outfit.

287
00:11:52,639 --> 00:11:54,709
Can my Build-A-Bear
have his shorts back?

288
00:11:55,063 --> 00:11:56,935
Shut up!

289
00:11:58,364 --> 00:11:59,714
Where's Adam?

290
00:11:59,757 --> 00:12:01,541
Oh, he and Joe are camped out

291
00:12:01,585 --> 00:12:03,631
at some new fishing store all night.

292
00:12:03,674 --> 00:12:05,067
He didn't tell you about that?

293
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:09,027
Right, right. The fishing store.

294
00:12:09,071 --> 00:12:12,335
- He told me they were going to buy...
- Win.

295
00:12:12,378 --> 00:12:13,553
Win...

296
00:12:15,214 --> 00:12:17,564
some fish.

297
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,169
- I should go.
- Hold on.

298
00:12:20,212 --> 00:12:21,825
What are you covering up?

299
00:12:21,850 --> 00:12:23,757
I don't know. I don't know
enough to cover anything up.

300
00:12:23,781 --> 00:12:25,827
Yeah, but you know something.

301
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:28,307
Spill it, Dutch boy.

302
00:12:29,061 --> 00:12:31,622
All I know is Joe lied about
where he was the other night,

303
00:12:31,647 --> 00:12:32,703
and Adam's helping him.

304
00:12:32,747 --> 00:12:34,052
But I wasn't allowed to hear the rest

305
00:12:34,076 --> 00:12:35,837
because Joe is shoe-intolerant.

306
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,943
Unbelievable!

307
00:12:37,968 --> 00:12:39,903
You know, Adam promised
me no more lying.

308
00:12:39,928 --> 00:12:41,756
I mean, is he even at the fish store?

309
00:12:41,799 --> 00:12:44,551
I mean, I can't trust a
word that man says, Lowell!

310
00:12:44,576 --> 00:12:47,239
Face it. We're just a couple of dames

311
00:12:47,283 --> 00:12:48,806
on the outside looking in.

312
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,810
- Hurry up, Lowell. 
- I-I'll be right there.

313
00:12:52,854 --> 00:12:55,813
I've got a rock in my clog.

314
00:12:55,857 --> 00:12:59,425
If I drink enough free juice,I'll
make money on this deal.

315
00:12:59,469 --> 00:13:00,970
Slow down.

316
00:13:00,995 --> 00:13:02,578
You sneezed earlier, and the whole room

317
00:13:02,602 --> 00:13:03,560
smelled like pineapple.

318
00:13:05,780 --> 00:13:07,398
Hello?

319
00:13:07,423 --> 00:13:09,281
Adam? It's Lowell. I did a bad thing.

320
00:13:09,306 --> 00:13:11,830
- Wear whatever shoes you want, goodbye.
- Wait!

321
00:13:11,855 --> 00:13:13,570
I may have accidentally implied to Andi

322
00:13:13,613 --> 00:13:14,946
that you weren't at the fishing store.

323
00:13:14,970 --> 00:13:16,262
She thinks you're lying
again, and we're going

324
00:13:16,286 --> 00:13:18,116
to Don's to see if he
knows what's going on.

325
00:13:18,140 --> 00:13:19,807
But I didn't tell him what's going on.

326
00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:21,491
I-I mean, nothing's going on!

327
00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:23,711
I mean... wrong number.

328
00:13:24,305 --> 00:13:26,307
- Adam?
- Lowell!

329
00:13:26,332 --> 00:13:28,933
Cheese and crackers.

330
00:13:28,977 --> 00:13:30,718
Things are starting to heat up, Dad.

331
00:13:30,761 --> 00:13:32,545
Well, cool off with some juice.

332
00:13:34,093 --> 00:13:35,711
- Your man works hard.
- Mm.

333
00:13:35,736 --> 00:13:38,377
It wouldn't kill you to
put on some pantyhose.

334
00:13:41,966 --> 00:13:43,102
Hey, what's up?

335
00:13:43,127 --> 00:13:45,216
Andi's onto us.You have
to come to the hospital

336
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,430
and stay with Dad while
I go put out this fire.

337
00:13:47,473 --> 00:13:49,649
I'm on it. You know what, Bev?

338
00:13:49,693 --> 00:13:51,138
It is getting late.

339
00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:54,542
I'd better hurry and buy those
teeth-whitening strips you mentioned.

340
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,006
Think about a hat

341
00:13:56,031 --> 00:13:58,018
if you're not gonna do
anything with your hair.

342
00:14:02,271 --> 00:14:03,631
This is so great.

343
00:14:03,656 --> 00:14:05,274
The doctor said you're doing so well,

344
00:14:05,317 --> 00:14:06,405
you get to go home early.

345
00:14:06,449 --> 00:14:07,441
What about Adam?

346
00:14:07,466 --> 00:14:09,324
His cover's blown, save yourself.

347
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,786
Good thinking.That's
why we run this family.

348
00:14:17,011 --> 00:14:18,287
Hey.

349
00:14:18,330 --> 00:14:19,867
Oh... thank God you showed up.

350
00:14:19,892 --> 00:14:21,763
There's nothing going on in this town.

351
00:14:22,845 --> 00:14:25,482
Adam told me that he and Joe
were going to the grand opening

352
00:14:25,507 --> 00:14:26,556
of some new fishing store.

353
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:28,560
But we went by,and they weren't there.

354
00:14:28,585 --> 00:14:30,149
Grand opening? You'd
think something like that

355
00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:31,604
would be in the paper.

356
00:14:31,648 --> 00:14:34,733
Don, Adam and Joe are up to something.

357
00:14:34,758 --> 00:14:37,773
I want to know where they are
and why Adam's lying about it.

358
00:14:37,798 --> 00:14:39,140
I'm sure it's nothing.

359
00:14:39,165 --> 00:14:40,918
Probably just an affair.

360
00:14:42,008 --> 00:14:44,358
He takes his dad with
him to have an affair?

361
00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:46,007
Maybe Dad's got a gal, too.

362
00:14:46,032 --> 00:14:47,833
You know, one of those
mother-daughter things.

363
00:14:49,398 --> 00:14:51,420
Ah, look who's here.

364
00:14:51,445 --> 00:14:53,248
How was the fishing store?

365
00:14:53,273 --> 00:14:54,473
I know where you're going with this...

366
00:14:54,497 --> 00:14:56,077
How do you know where
I'm going with this?

367
00:14:56,101 --> 00:14:58,170
- Lowell called me.
- Lowell!

368
00:14:58,195 --> 00:15:00,273
I'm not sorry.He's my hero.

369
00:15:00,298 --> 00:15:03,114
Okay. You caught me not being
entirely honest with you,

370
00:15:03,158 --> 00:15:04,594
but on the way here,

371
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,248
I realized I can tell you everything,

372
00:15:06,291 --> 00:15:09,125
because the thing I
couldn't tell you is over.

373
00:15:09,150 --> 00:15:10,296
And when you hear this,

374
00:15:10,321 --> 00:15:13,001
I think you are gonna
be touched, and proud,

375
00:15:13,026 --> 00:15:13,914
and a little sorry...

376
00:15:13,939 --> 00:15:15,657
You know what? I'll just tell you.

377
00:15:15,856 --> 00:15:18,336
I can't wait to finally hear the truth.

378
00:15:18,361 --> 00:15:20,017
My dad got a pacemaker today.

379
00:15:20,042 --> 00:15:21,145
He's fine.

380
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,817
But he didn't want anyone
else to know, especially Don.

381
00:15:25,702 --> 00:15:27,095
So I lied.

382
00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:29,118
But only for the love of my father.

383
00:15:29,143 --> 00:15:30,272
So...

384
00:15:30,315 --> 00:15:33,275
to recap? Dad, pacemaker,

385
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,538
a son's love.

386
00:15:35,581 --> 00:15:37,322
- Come on.
- Please.

387
00:15:37,366 --> 00:15:38,410
What?

388
00:15:38,454 --> 00:15:40,403
This is a new low.

389
00:15:40,428 --> 00:15:42,528
Dad would never get a
pacemaker and not tell me.

390
00:15:42,553 --> 00:15:44,192
He's my best friend.

391
00:15:44,217 --> 00:15:46,200
What? You don't believe me?

392
00:15:46,225 --> 00:15:47,656
I don't know what to
believe anymore, Adam.

393
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,160
This is so sad.

394
00:15:49,204 --> 00:15:50,863
You're my new hero, Andi.

395
00:15:50,888 --> 00:15:52,457
What? No! No!

396
00:15:52,482 --> 00:15:55,105
But this is a hundred percent true!

397
00:15:55,130 --> 00:15:56,776
Come to the hospital, I'll prove it.

398
00:15:57,647 --> 00:16:00,951
Prepare to apologize.

399
00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:07,787
I'm sorry.

400
00:16:10,008 --> 00:16:11,321
Dad.

401
00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:12,877
I need you to tell Andi the truth

402
00:16:12,902 --> 00:16:14,514
about where we were tonight.

403
00:16:14,539 --> 00:16:15,621
Okay.

404
00:16:15,856 --> 00:16:17,968
I went to the fishing
store,you weren't there,

405
00:16:17,993 --> 00:16:19,777
so I felt betrayed and came home.

406
00:16:20,583 --> 00:16:22,672
That's not true.

407
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:25,693
I know the truth. Mom, Dad
and Adam are having an affair

408
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:27,177
with a mother-daughter team.

409
00:16:27,202 --> 00:16:28,479
What's happening?

410
00:16:28,504 --> 00:16:30,158
Don't ask.He's got a theory.

411
00:16:30,201 --> 00:16:31,811
Oh, no. No, I'm right.

412
00:16:31,855 --> 00:16:34,311
There are tons of mini-documentaries
about it on the Internet.

413
00:16:34,991 --> 00:16:37,219
Andi, honey, you have to believe me.

414
00:16:37,244 --> 00:16:39,271
But nobody believes you.

415
00:16:40,905 --> 00:16:42,341
Marcy does.

416
00:16:42,366 --> 00:16:44,944
She masterminded the whole plan
to keep it a secret from you.

417
00:16:44,969 --> 00:16:45,969
Right, Marcy?

418
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,912
What? Why would I keep
a secret from Andi?

419
00:16:47,937 --> 00:16:49,895
Because of the shadow government.

420
00:16:51,530 --> 00:16:53,257
Are you on drugs?

421
00:16:53,866 --> 00:16:56,466
This is crazy. I'm telling the truth,

422
00:16:56,491 --> 00:16:58,708
- and nobody believes me.
- Huh.

423
00:16:59,273 --> 00:17:01,444
That doesn't feel great,does it?

424
00:17:01,795 --> 00:17:03,122
Why are you using your

425
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:05,062
"I'm about to teach you a lesson" voice?

426
00:17:05,106 --> 00:17:07,412
Because I've known about
the pacemaker all day.

427
00:17:07,437 --> 00:17:08,455
- What?
- Yeah.

428
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:09,825
It's a good thing
you're not wearing a hat,

429
00:17:09,849 --> 00:17:11,622
'cause your mind just got blown.

430
00:17:12,052 --> 00:17:13,849
- You knew?
- Mm-hmm.

431
00:17:14,012 --> 00:17:16,536
And you let me lie to you
while you were lying to me?

432
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,013
That is something I would do!

433
00:17:19,142 --> 00:17:22,715
Wait. It's true?Daddy?

434
00:17:24,620 --> 00:17:26,404
I didn't want anyone to know.

435
00:17:26,512 --> 00:17:28,037
Especially my bride.

436
00:17:28,062 --> 00:17:30,609
- I didn't want you to worry.
- Oh... honey,

437
00:17:30,653 --> 00:17:33,438
it was so sweet of you to think of me.

438
00:17:33,482 --> 00:17:35,963
This is how your man treats
you when you wear pantyhose.

439
00:17:36,738 --> 00:17:37,965
You hear that, Don?

440
00:17:38,008 --> 00:17:40,252
I'm gonna start dressing like your mom.

441
00:17:40,277 --> 00:17:42,056
Enjoy.

442
00:17:42,737 --> 00:17:45,036
I can work with that.

443
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:47,017
Uh, wait... Hold on.

444
00:17:47,061 --> 00:17:49,688
So, Don and Lowell were in on it, too?

445
00:17:49,713 --> 00:17:50,716
Yes.

446
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:53,806
- No, you weren't.
- No, I was not.

447
00:17:53,850 --> 00:17:55,591
I wanted you to know

448
00:17:55,634 --> 00:17:57,367
that you are the boy
that cried wolf, right?

449
00:17:57,391 --> 00:17:58,507
And I needed witnesses.

450
00:17:58,550 --> 00:18:00,030
I mean,if the boy cries wolf

451
00:18:00,074 --> 00:18:02,428
and there are no villagers
thereto see him get eaten,

452
00:18:02,453 --> 00:18:03,729
what's the point?

453
00:18:04,718 --> 00:18:06,254
Wow.

454
00:18:06,890 --> 00:18:09,909
This is next-level.

455
00:18:09,953 --> 00:18:11,922
I wasn't even close to
pulling this off, was I?

456
00:18:11,947 --> 00:18:13,645
No, honey.

457
00:18:14,249 --> 00:18:16,351
So when I came over, you got me

458
00:18:16,394 --> 00:18:18,233
to accidentally blab
something about Adam?

459
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:19,130
Yep.

460
00:18:19,155 --> 00:18:21,375
And you didn't need any
information from Don at all?

461
00:18:21,399 --> 00:18:23,836
Nope.I just needed villagers.

462
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,056
I don't like just being a villager.

463
00:18:26,498 --> 00:18:28,366
Next year I'm trying out for wolf.

464
00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:31,342
How do you feel about telling the truth

465
00:18:31,366 --> 00:18:32,647
and not having people believe it?

466
00:18:32,671 --> 00:18:33,977
Not great.

467
00:18:34,021 --> 00:18:35,935
Kind of like how Ned said Neil felt

468
00:18:35,979 --> 00:18:37,522
when people thought he
faked the Moon landing.

469
00:18:37,546 --> 00:18:39,228
Who's Neil?

470
00:18:39,253 --> 00:18:41,482
- Who's Ned?
- He is on drugs.

471
00:18:42,446 --> 00:18:44,438
I told you not to tell that story.

472
00:18:48,402 --> 00:18:50,691
Okay, here's the last one.

473
00:18:50,808 --> 00:18:53,049
You know how we're finally
watching Breaking Bad together?

474
00:18:53,073 --> 00:18:54,245
Mm-hmm.

475
00:18:54,416 --> 00:18:57,181
I watched it three years
ago with Don in the trailer.

476
00:18:57,292 --> 00:18:58,881
It was when we were working nights

477
00:18:58,906 --> 00:19:00,821
on the O'Bannon job.

478
00:19:01,229 --> 00:19:02,969
Also, there was no O'Bannon job.

479
00:19:04,089 --> 00:19:05,351
Oh, hey, one more thing.

480
00:19:07,788 --> 00:19:09,442
There's something
wrong with your lasagna.

481
00:19:12,445 --> 00:19:14,336
Okay, I think we've covered
enough lies for one night.

482
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:16,884
Uh, hey, I got a question:

483
00:19:16,928 --> 00:19:19,060
how did you find out
about my dad's pacemaker?

484
00:19:19,104 --> 00:19:20,148
Bev told me.

485
00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:21,584
What?

486
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:23,369
So Joe's getting a pacemaker

487
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:25,893
and there's no fishing store?

488
00:19:26,402 --> 00:19:27,690
Adam lied to me?

489
00:19:27,715 --> 00:19:29,855
Of course he did, he's your husband.

490
00:19:30,332 --> 00:19:32,595
I see.

491
00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:36,338
Hey... do you mind if I
have a little fun with this?

492
00:19:36,623 --> 00:19:38,320
Be my guest.

493
00:19:39,417 --> 00:19:40,578
Oh, honey?

494
00:19:40,603 --> 00:19:43,302
You can take that thing with you.

495
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:50,265
How did you know?

496
00:19:50,309 --> 00:19:52,509
I'm your emergency contact.

497
00:19:52,534 --> 00:19:53,660
I know everything.

498
00:19:54,128 --> 00:19:57,422
But I didn't want you to worry
about me worrying about you,

499
00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:59,666
so I wasn't gonna tell you.

500
00:19:59,709 --> 00:20:02,277
Dad, I thought you and Marcy
had a shadow government.

501
00:20:02,321 --> 00:20:03,713
Aw, don't be ridiculous.

502
00:20:03,757 --> 00:20:05,712
There's no shadow government.

503
00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:08,609
That's right. Bev and I run this family.

504
00:20:10,314 --> 00:20:12,298
Bev runs this family.

505
00:20:13,454 --> 00:20:14,954
Synced and corrected by Octavia 
- www.addic7ed.com -