1
00:00:05,945 --> 00:00:08,988
I was just reading your
naughty texts from this morning,

2
00:00:09,031 --> 00:00:10,836
and I believe this is the moment

3
00:00:10,861 --> 00:00:14,665
you referred to as "go time."

4
00:00:14,690 --> 00:00:16,759
And I bought us some fake candles

5
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:19,564
so that we don't start another sex fire.

6
00:00:19,607 --> 00:00:21,304
Ooh.

7
00:00:21,348 --> 00:00:23,132
What is that, a blindfold?

8
00:00:23,176 --> 00:00:26,788
Ooh, I like that you're adding
some new plays to the game.

9
00:00:26,832 --> 00:00:28,250
No, it's just a washcloth.

10
00:00:28,275 --> 00:00:30,843
I have a headache. I'm sorry, honey.

11
00:00:30,868 --> 00:00:33,142
I just... I've been getting
a lot of them lately.

12
00:00:33,186 --> 00:00:34,535
Oh.

13
00:00:34,579 --> 00:00:35,766
Is there anything I can do?

14
00:00:35,791 --> 00:00:37,211
Make you some coffee or...?

15
00:00:37,236 --> 00:00:39,469
No, thanks. I had two cups after dinner.

16
00:00:39,494 --> 00:00:41,125
I-I'll call the doctor tomorrow.

17
00:00:41,150 --> 00:00:42,913
That's smart. Yeah, get it checked out.

18
00:00:47,026 --> 00:00:48,810
This is nice.

19
00:00:48,854 --> 00:00:51,857
We've never had a work
meeting by candlelight before.

20
00:00:52,858 --> 00:00:54,163
Well, I'm using everything

21
00:00:54,207 --> 00:00:56,209
I didn't get a chance to use last night.

22
00:00:57,340 --> 00:01:00,866
So, if you want whipped cream
in your coffee, let me know.

23
00:01:02,742 --> 00:01:05,044
I like it. I feel like I'm at a séance.

24
00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:10,005
Grandpa, I'm sorry I
took your cigarettes.

25
00:01:11,616 --> 00:01:13,989
Well, look, I appreciate
you guys working here today.

26
00:01:14,014 --> 00:01:15,450
Since Andi's at the doctor,

27
00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:17,100
I wanted to be home when she gets back.

28
00:01:17,125 --> 00:01:18,342
The doctor? Is she okay?

29
00:01:18,367 --> 00:01:20,209
Yeah, yeah. She's just
feeling a little tired

30
00:01:20,233 --> 00:01:21,974
and headachy.

31
00:01:22,017 --> 00:01:24,367
Hmm. Sounds like she
got a case of the wifes.

32
00:01:25,978 --> 00:01:27,240
Hi, guys.

33
00:01:27,283 --> 00:01:29,024
Hey. So, what did the doctor say?

34
00:01:29,068 --> 00:01:30,406
It's nothing serious.

35
00:01:30,431 --> 00:01:32,637
But the doctor did recommend one thing

36
00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,117
- that I'm thinking we should
discuss in private. - Oh.

37
00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:36,989
- We should go.
- Good idea.

38
00:01:37,032 --> 00:01:38,686
Come on, Lowell.

39
00:01:38,730 --> 00:01:40,732
Come on, Grandpa.

40
00:01:43,386 --> 00:01:45,345
So, uh, wh-what's going on?

41
00:01:45,388 --> 00:01:47,695
Well, the doctor says that
my problem is hormonal.

42
00:01:47,962 --> 00:01:49,441
Oh, that's not so bad.

43
00:01:49,466 --> 00:01:51,612
So, what do you do for
that, a pill or something?

44
00:01:51,656 --> 00:01:53,658
Kind of. In-in the sense

45
00:01:53,701 --> 00:01:55,660
that I have to stop taking a pill.

46
00:01:55,929 --> 00:01:57,452
The pill.

47
00:01:58,349 --> 00:02:00,202
What?

48
00:02:01,115 --> 00:02:02,396
I know.

49
00:02:02,421 --> 00:02:04,510
But that's the best pill.

50
00:02:05,802 --> 00:02:07,933
I would give up all the
other pills for that pill.

51
00:02:07,976 --> 00:02:09,591
Yeah.

52
00:02:09,616 --> 00:02:11,854
I mean, that pill lets us
have fun without consequences.

53
00:02:12,730 --> 00:02:14,089
We can't afford to
put another consequence

54
00:02:14,113 --> 00:02:16,158
through college.

55
00:02:16,202 --> 00:02:18,073
It's like some mysterious force

56
00:02:18,117 --> 00:02:19,988
is trying to stop us from having sex.

57
00:02:20,032 --> 00:02:21,381
I...

58
00:02:42,634 --> 00:02:45,028
So, um, I've been off
the pill for a few days,

59
00:02:45,072 --> 00:02:46,900
and I feel pretty good.

60
00:02:46,943 --> 00:02:47,988
Good.

61
00:02:49,563 --> 00:02:51,382
I said I feel good.

62
00:02:52,313 --> 00:02:54,472
Take your pants off.

63
00:02:55,063 --> 00:02:57,805
My favorite four words
in the English language.

64
00:03:01,653 --> 00:03:03,481
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

65
00:03:03,525 --> 00:03:05,483
We can't just do this.

66
00:03:05,527 --> 00:03:07,224
There's no goalie in the net.

67
00:03:07,268 --> 00:03:11,489
Okay, so go to the drugstore
and buy a box of goalies.

68
00:03:11,533 --> 00:03:13,970
I... that'll take too long, you know?

69
00:03:14,014 --> 00:03:15,972
My uniform's on. They
sang the national anthem.

70
00:03:16,016 --> 00:03:18,583
It's-it's time to take the ice.

71
00:03:19,857 --> 00:03:21,369
Well, what do we do?

72
00:03:21,412 --> 00:03:24,546
There's got to be one of those
things around here somewhere.

73
00:03:24,589 --> 00:03:26,504
When was the last time
I slept with someone

74
00:03:26,548 --> 00:03:28,245
I didn't completely trust?

75
00:03:29,464 --> 00:03:31,422
Oh! I got it.

76
00:03:31,466 --> 00:03:33,454
I need my box of stuff
from my single days.

77
00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:35,263
All right, I'll be
right back. Don't move.

78
00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:48,700
Ow!

79
00:04:19,617 --> 00:04:21,168
Hey, there.

80
00:04:23,170 --> 00:04:25,128
Mm.That was fun.

81
00:04:25,172 --> 00:04:27,130
Yeah. It's always fun.

82
00:04:27,174 --> 00:04:28,653
That's the thing about it.

83
00:04:32,149 --> 00:04:33,615
It was different, though.

84
00:04:33,814 --> 00:04:35,773
It's great to go for a spin,

85
00:04:35,798 --> 00:04:38,141
but it's hard to wear a helmet

86
00:04:38,185 --> 00:04:41,014
when I've already felt
the wind in my face.

87
00:04:41,057 --> 00:04:43,494
Well, if you don't like
wearing one of those,

88
00:04:43,538 --> 00:04:45,279
there's other forms of birth control.

89
00:04:45,322 --> 00:04:47,020
Look, the best birth control

90
00:04:47,063 --> 00:04:49,457
is if I grow a mustache again.

91
00:04:50,122 --> 00:04:52,460
It smelled like pretzels.

92
00:04:52,503 --> 00:04:55,158
Okay, well, let's narrow
down our options, right?

93
00:04:55,202 --> 00:04:56,638
We know it has to be hormone-free,

94
00:04:56,681 --> 00:04:58,335
so all that stuff is no good.

95
00:04:58,379 --> 00:04:59,510
Yeah. And it'd be great

96
00:04:59,554 --> 00:05:01,338
if using it didn't require a time-out

97
00:05:01,382 --> 00:05:02,820
just when things are
getting hot and heavy.

98
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:06,718
Agreed. That is a bad time
for a commercial break.

99
00:05:06,957 --> 00:05:08,872
Okay, but...

100
00:05:08,897 --> 00:05:10,304
we can work around that

101
00:05:10,347 --> 00:05:12,697
if one of us is prepared in advance.

102
00:05:12,741 --> 00:05:15,439
Yeah. Yeah, but-but I
don't want to schedule it.

103
00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:17,224
Being able to do it whenever I want

104
00:05:17,267 --> 00:05:18,660
is the whole reason I got married.

105
00:05:20,178 --> 00:05:21,962
Besides all the love.

106
00:05:22,751 --> 00:05:24,796
But that got me in the door.

107
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,755
Okay, but, you know,
u-until we figure it out,

108
00:05:26,798 --> 00:05:28,496
we need to keep our hands to ourselves.

109
00:05:28,539 --> 00:05:31,107
Yeah, well, sure. No big deal.

110
00:05:31,132 --> 00:05:33,302
We've been married 20
years. How hard can it be?

111
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,723
_

112
00:05:34,757 --> 00:05:37,505
This has been the
hardest week of my life.

113
00:05:39,721 --> 00:05:43,072
You're over here pouring
coffee like a minx.

114
00:05:44,891 --> 00:05:46,772
Teasing me.

115
00:05:47,984 --> 00:05:49,646
Just knowing we can't do it

116
00:05:49,671 --> 00:05:51,412
makes me want to do it even more.

117
00:05:52,824 --> 00:05:56,132
If I had known our last time
was gonna be our last time,

118
00:05:56,624 --> 00:05:58,482
I would've put on a better show.

119
00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:00,136
Okay.

120
00:06:00,180 --> 00:06:02,046
Let's figure out this budget.

121
00:06:02,071 --> 00:06:04,752
Oh, numbers are boring.
That should help.Yeah.

122
00:06:06,621 --> 00:06:09,406
Okay. We are way over budget

123
00:06:09,450 --> 00:06:11,060
on the new house we're flipping.

124
00:06:11,085 --> 00:06:13,497
We need to bring down
the cost of the fixtures.

125
00:06:13,926 --> 00:06:14,846
Fixtures?

126
00:06:14,890 --> 00:06:16,770
Well, that's, uh...

127
00:06:17,197 --> 00:06:18,720
should be...

128
00:06:19,247 --> 00:06:22,095
Do you have to hold your
pencil like that, all sexy?

129
00:06:23,594 --> 00:06:25,857
That's... that's just the way I write.

130
00:06:25,901 --> 00:06:27,207
- Mm.
- You know.

131
00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:30,601
Fast, and then not so fast.

132
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,218
Can feel your eyes burning
a hole through my shirt.

133
00:06:38,261 --> 00:06:39,325
I like it.

134
00:06:39,350 --> 00:06:41,177
Okay, that's it.

135
00:06:41,221 --> 00:06:43,380
Go back to fooling around already.

136
00:06:43,405 --> 00:06:44,874
And by the way, I shouldn't even know

137
00:06:44,898 --> 00:06:46,125
you haven't been fooling around,

138
00:06:46,149 --> 00:06:48,273
but the two of you
won't shut up about it.

139
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:52,622
I'd file a complaint
with HR, but that's me.

140
00:06:54,625 --> 00:06:57,106
Look, we have a real problem here.

141
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:58,399
Andi had to go off the pill,

142
00:06:58,424 --> 00:07:00,196
and none of the other options are good.

143
00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,565
Believe me, if there was a solution,

144
00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:02,720
we would have found it.

145
00:07:02,764 --> 00:07:03,885
Well, I have a solution.

146
00:07:03,910 --> 00:07:05,721
Great. We're open to anything.

147
00:07:05,746 --> 00:07:07,421
- Get a vasectomy.
- What?!

148
00:07:09,104 --> 00:07:10,581
I never even thought of that.

149
00:07:10,606 --> 00:07:12,861
Who would think of it?

150
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,734
Sounds awfully permanent, Lowell.

151
00:07:16,778 --> 00:07:18,221
That's what's great about it.

152
00:07:18,246 --> 00:07:20,713
One afternoon, and you never
have to worry about it again.

153
00:07:20,738 --> 00:07:22,088
What do you think?

154
00:07:28,485 --> 00:07:31,440
Well, I, uh...

155
00:07:31,797 --> 00:07:35,065
I think I need more information

156
00:07:35,090 --> 00:07:39,050
from the expert who brought
it up in front of my wife.

157
00:07:40,367 --> 00:07:41,612
Yeah.

158
00:07:41,637 --> 00:07:43,563
Come on, Lowell. Let's go
talk about it in the driveway

159
00:07:43,587 --> 00:07:45,676
man-to-man. Come on.

160
00:07:46,089 --> 00:07:48,437
Come on! Come on.

161
00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:50,752
Come on.

162
00:07:52,466 --> 00:07:54,337
What are you doing to me?

163
00:07:55,904 --> 00:07:58,863
As soon as you called me a
man, I knew I was in trouble.

164
00:08:00,589 --> 00:08:04,550
You never say the v-word
in another man's house.

165
00:08:06,477 --> 00:08:08,262
I was just trying to help.

166
00:08:08,287 --> 00:08:09,691
You know, millions of guys get vasec...

167
00:08:09,715 --> 00:08:10,977
Stop saying it!

168
00:08:12,785 --> 00:08:15,207
Let me tell you something,
Lowell. Surgery is knives

169
00:08:15,232 --> 00:08:17,234
and scalpels and
needles, and none of those

170
00:08:17,259 --> 00:08:20,393
will ever come anywhere
near my favorite friend.

171
00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:23,430
- S-So, then, don't do it.
- Yeah.

172
00:08:23,455 --> 00:08:26,207
But now she's heard the word.

173
00:08:26,671 --> 00:08:28,455
It's out there.

174
00:08:28,980 --> 00:08:31,635
You did a very bad
thing, Lowell. Very bad.

175
00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:33,202
I'm not sorry.

176
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:34,962
You were both playing footsie
with me under the table.

177
00:08:34,986 --> 00:08:36,553
I had to make it stop.

178
00:08:44,860 --> 00:08:46,302
Where do you think you're going?

179
00:08:46,346 --> 00:08:47,521
My stuff's in there.

180
00:08:47,564 --> 00:08:48,846
Well, you should've thought about that

181
00:08:48,870 --> 00:08:51,177
before you fired up
your propaganda machine.

182
00:08:56,627 --> 00:08:57,993
Hey.

183
00:08:58,473 --> 00:08:59,431
Where's Lowell?

184
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:01,259
Oh, uh, he left. Yeah.

185
00:09:02,536 --> 00:09:04,320
He felt bad about getting involved

186
00:09:04,364 --> 00:09:06,670
- in our personal business.
- Mm.

187
00:09:06,942 --> 00:09:10,192
You know, h-his idea would solve
our problem once and for all.

188
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,490
I mean, maybe it's worth considering.

189
00:09:12,515 --> 00:09:13,559
Uh-huh.

190
00:09:13,584 --> 00:09:14,709
I'm gonna go call Janette.

191
00:09:14,734 --> 00:09:16,475
I think her husband had one.

192
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:24,370
Very bad, Lowell!

193
00:09:30,777 --> 00:09:33,018
Can I come sit with you guys yet?

194
00:09:33,684 --> 00:09:35,464
No. Thanks to you,

195
00:09:35,489 --> 00:09:37,862
Andi says it's something
we should consider.

196
00:09:37,905 --> 00:09:39,820
She's calling her friend Janette.

197
00:09:39,864 --> 00:09:41,169
When Janette got wind chimes,

198
00:09:41,213 --> 00:09:42,823
we got wind chimes.

199
00:09:43,682 --> 00:09:45,957
How could you say the
v-word in front of his wife?

200
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,567
Why do you hate him?

201
00:09:47,611 --> 00:09:51,092
I didn't know it was
such a terrible idea.

202
00:09:51,651 --> 00:09:53,415
Fine, you can come back over.

203
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,140
But you can never say that word again.

204
00:09:55,183 --> 00:09:57,882
I won't, I swear. That was a cold,

205
00:09:57,925 --> 00:09:59,710
lonely eight minutes.

206
00:10:01,625 --> 00:10:03,583
The question is: What do I do now?

207
00:10:03,627 --> 00:10:05,498
Obviously, I'm not gonna get a...

208
00:10:05,542 --> 00:10:06,978
I can't even say it.

209
00:10:07,021 --> 00:10:09,067
Let's just call it
Lowell's terrible idea.

210
00:10:10,764 --> 00:10:13,037
You could make Lowell's
terrible idea go away

211
00:10:13,062 --> 00:10:15,202
if you give Andi a better solution.

212
00:10:15,242 --> 00:10:16,388
Like what?

213
00:10:16,413 --> 00:10:18,598
Well, there are other
forms of birth control.

214
00:10:18,642 --> 00:10:20,687
Your mother and I
used the rhythm method.

215
00:10:20,731 --> 00:10:23,124
It only failed twice... One, two.

216
00:10:24,246 --> 00:10:26,826
Or you could just do
it with lady on top.

217
00:10:26,851 --> 00:10:28,521
Let gravity do the work.

218
00:10:28,926 --> 00:10:31,089
How do you not have 20 kids?

219
00:10:31,895 --> 00:10:33,613
- Gravity.
- Mm.

220
00:10:33,657 --> 00:10:35,777
She's not gonna go for any of those.

221
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,754
Yeah, don't listen to
Don's terrible idea.

222
00:10:37,779 --> 00:10:39,895
That's the new terrible idea.

223
00:10:40,090 --> 00:10:42,535
Don't get cocky. You started this.

224
00:10:42,579 --> 00:10:44,183
Look, the minute Lowell mentioned it,

225
00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:45,558
you know what popped into my head?

226
00:10:45,582 --> 00:10:47,721
- Our old dog Rex.
- Oh.

227
00:10:47,746 --> 00:10:50,238
After we had him fixed,
he was never the same.

228
00:10:50,282 --> 00:10:53,081
That's true. Poor guy
stopped chasing the Frisbee.

229
00:10:53,106 --> 00:10:55,527
Just didn't see the point anymore.

230
00:10:56,404 --> 00:10:59,135
His one purpose in life
was to make little Rexes,

231
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,206
and the doctor just took it away.

232
00:11:01,683 --> 00:11:03,991
And then, of course, there was the end.

233
00:11:04,035 --> 00:11:05,893
Aw.

234
00:11:05,918 --> 00:11:07,690
The end? What happened to Rex?

235
00:11:07,715 --> 00:11:09,693
Ran out in front of the bookmobile.

236
00:11:12,086 --> 00:11:14,370
We'll never know if it
was on purpose or not.

237
00:11:14,395 --> 00:11:17,788
But if he had thumbs, I bet
he would have written a note.

238
00:11:17,831 --> 00:11:22,488
I just need a surefire way to
make this whole thing disappear.

239
00:11:22,532 --> 00:11:23,924
I mean,

240
00:11:23,968 --> 00:11:26,187
I guess I could just say "no."

241
00:11:26,231 --> 00:11:28,480
Okay. Nice knowing you, Rex.

242
00:11:28,505 --> 00:11:32,027
Yeah. It won't work.
That "no" won't stick.

243
00:11:32,052 --> 00:11:33,142
Why not?

244
00:11:33,167 --> 00:11:35,675
Because if you hit her
with a knee-jerk "no"

245
00:11:35,700 --> 00:11:38,939
without anything to back it
up, she'll hit you with a "why."

246
00:11:38,983 --> 00:11:40,941
And then you're dead.

247
00:11:40,985 --> 00:11:42,364
Right.

248
00:11:42,389 --> 00:11:45,106
So whenever Marcy
suggests some nutty thing,

249
00:11:45,131 --> 00:11:47,525
I go through the
motions, I get informed,

250
00:11:47,550 --> 00:11:49,590
and then I say, "I thought about it,

251
00:11:49,615 --> 00:11:52,052
I did my homework, but it's a 'no.'"

252
00:11:52,675 --> 00:11:53,964
And that "no" sticks?

253
00:11:53,989 --> 00:11:56,383
Oh, yeah, the wives love it
when you do your homework.

254
00:11:56,408 --> 00:11:58,785
- Yeah.
- Deep down, they're all teachers.

255
00:11:58,829 --> 00:12:01,701
It's a thoughtful, open-minded "no."

256
00:12:01,745 --> 00:12:04,574
- Mm-hmm.
- Wives dig that hippie crap.

257
00:12:04,617 --> 00:12:05,923
Okay.

258
00:12:05,966 --> 00:12:07,167
How about this?

259
00:12:07,192 --> 00:12:10,010
I'll go for a consultation
with a doctor who specializes

260
00:12:10,035 --> 00:12:11,972
in Lowell's terrible idea.

261
00:12:12,016 --> 00:12:14,627
I didn't invent it. I just said it.

262
00:12:14,671 --> 00:12:16,339
And I'll bring Andi with me.

263
00:12:16,364 --> 00:12:17,898
Okay, she'll see me doing my homework

264
00:12:17,923 --> 00:12:20,404
by listening to the
doctor, I take a day or two

265
00:12:20,429 --> 00:12:21,819
to consider it with an open mind,

266
00:12:21,844 --> 00:12:23,826
then I give Andi a "no" that sticks.

267
00:12:23,851 --> 00:12:26,014
Then problem solved... no vasectomy.

268
00:12:26,039 --> 00:12:27,320
- Lowell!
- I heard it.

269
00:12:27,345 --> 00:12:29,347
I'll go back over there.

270
00:12:35,082 --> 00:12:37,998
You know, I am so impressed that
you would even consider this.

271
00:12:38,042 --> 00:12:41,175
Well, a consultation
seemed like a good idea.

272
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:44,222
I like to do my homework
before I make a decision.

273
00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:48,792
You can never go wrong with homework.

274
00:12:55,555 --> 00:12:57,731
You look hot.

275
00:13:00,095 --> 00:13:01,180
I do?

276
00:13:01,205 --> 00:13:03,328
I don't know. It's been too long.

277
00:13:05,149 --> 00:13:06,923
You could grow that
stupid mustache again.

278
00:13:06,948 --> 00:13:08,384
I'd be all over you.

279
00:13:11,518 --> 00:13:15,122
Mr. and Mrs. Burns, the
doctor's ready for you.

280
00:13:15,579 --> 00:13:16,852
You okay?

281
00:13:16,877 --> 00:13:19,009
- You nervous?
- No.

282
00:13:19,353 --> 00:13:21,486
It's a consultation.

283
00:13:22,818 --> 00:13:25,361
A consultation is just a consultation.

284
00:13:26,220 --> 00:13:28,025
Everybody feels uneasy,

285
00:13:28,050 --> 00:13:30,574
but once they talk to
the doctor, they relax.

286
00:13:30,725 --> 00:13:33,902
Some guys even do the procedure
during the consultation.

287
00:13:36,943 --> 00:13:39,277
Yeah. That's what Janette's husband did.

288
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:42,716
He did, huh?

289
00:13:42,741 --> 00:13:44,525
Old wind chime Bob?

290
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,858
Adam?

291
00:14:12,465 --> 00:14:15,207
There you are. I've been
looking all over for you.

292
00:14:16,739 --> 00:14:19,005
How did you get in the
house? I had the keys.

293
00:14:19,030 --> 00:14:20,901
Oh, I used my Swiss Army knife.

294
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,880
I hid it under my dress.

295
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:27,848
Doctor has a knife, I
have a knife. Fair is fair.

296
00:14:29,796 --> 00:14:31,842
Care to tell me what
happened back there?

297
00:14:32,688 --> 00:14:33,987
I can't do it.

298
00:14:34,158 --> 00:14:35,229
I can't do it so much,

299
00:14:35,254 --> 00:14:37,126
I can't even pretend
to think about doing it.

300
00:14:38,181 --> 00:14:39,447
You were pretending?

301
00:14:39,472 --> 00:14:42,823
Yes. I wanted you to
think I was open-minded

302
00:14:42,848 --> 00:14:44,995
about that procedure, but I am not.

303
00:14:45,038 --> 00:14:48,172
Do you know what they do in
that room? It is barbaric!

304
00:14:50,542 --> 00:14:51,777
It was your idea.

305
00:14:51,802 --> 00:14:53,973
No, it was Lowell's idea.

306
00:14:53,998 --> 00:14:55,745
I would never suggest that.

307
00:14:56,223 --> 00:14:59,792
It would be taking away my
whole purpose on this planet.

308
00:15:01,011 --> 00:15:02,700
What about the little Adams?

309
00:15:02,725 --> 00:15:04,981
- What, you mean, like, babies?
- Yes.

310
00:15:06,016 --> 00:15:07,590
That's what I'm here for.

311
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:10,325
To pass on all this good stuff.

312
00:15:13,161 --> 00:15:15,293
But we already had babies.

313
00:15:15,318 --> 00:15:16,855
And we don't need any more.

314
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:20,160
Look, I... I know we did,

315
00:15:20,204 --> 00:15:22,206
but I'm just saying.

316
00:15:24,136 --> 00:15:26,090
What if?

317
00:15:27,512 --> 00:15:30,823
You mean what if I
get struck by lightning

318
00:15:30,867 --> 00:15:32,594
and you want to have
kids with some new woman?

319
00:15:32,618 --> 00:15:34,402
That "what if"?

320
00:15:35,382 --> 00:15:36,359
No.

321
00:15:36,384 --> 00:15:38,690
It's bigger and less selfish than that.

322
00:15:40,437 --> 00:15:43,382
What if I want to have
kids with lots of women?

323
00:15:45,947 --> 00:15:47,330
Excuse me?

324
00:15:48,685 --> 00:15:51,166
I mean, if there's a natural disaster.

325
00:15:51,342 --> 00:15:53,606
You know, the big one.

326
00:15:54,533 --> 00:15:56,759
Meteor or alien invasion.

327
00:15:56,784 --> 00:15:58,455
Everybody gets wiped out

328
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,613
except me and five young women.

329
00:16:03,391 --> 00:16:05,989
Oh, they're young now. I see.

330
00:16:06,991 --> 00:16:09,951
There's lots of 'em, and they're young.

331
00:16:10,472 --> 00:16:11,985
Well, yeah, they have to be young.

332
00:16:12,010 --> 00:16:13,643
Those are the only people
that survive the big one.

333
00:16:13,667 --> 00:16:15,057
Uh-huh.

334
00:16:15,962 --> 00:16:17,475
Then how did you survive?

335
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:19,937
I can survive anything.
I got my Swiss Army knife.

336
00:16:21,592 --> 00:16:26,423
My-my point is, I may have
to populate the human race.

337
00:16:27,616 --> 00:16:30,307
It's happened before. My name is Adam.

338
00:16:33,015 --> 00:16:35,366
Okay, so your big worry

339
00:16:35,850 --> 00:16:38,656
is a doomsday orgy fantasy?

340
00:16:39,756 --> 00:16:41,148
Yes!

341
00:16:41,477 --> 00:16:44,132
And you don't want to change that story?

342
00:16:44,508 --> 00:16:46,771
No!

343
00:16:47,019 --> 00:16:48,455
Why?

344
00:16:50,725 --> 00:16:52,272
Why?

345
00:16:53,417 --> 00:16:55,854
Yeah. Why?

346
00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:01,232
I was warned about this.

347
00:17:03,824 --> 00:17:05,826
All right, fine.

348
00:17:07,412 --> 00:17:09,478
If I had that operation, uh...

349
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,317
I would feel like less of a man.

350
00:17:15,540 --> 00:17:17,364
Why didn't you just say that?

351
00:17:17,389 --> 00:17:20,262
Because no man wants to say that.

352
00:17:21,978 --> 00:17:23,893
We don't even want to
admit the possibility

353
00:17:23,936 --> 00:17:25,938
that we could be less of a man.

354
00:17:27,282 --> 00:17:29,899
You don't think I'm curious
about the mango margarita?

355
00:17:29,942 --> 00:17:32,724
Huh? It looks delicious,

356
00:17:32,749 --> 00:17:35,260
but I will never order one.

357
00:17:36,295 --> 00:17:37,753
Wow.

358
00:17:39,996 --> 00:17:41,911
That is some deep,

359
00:17:41,954 --> 00:17:43,956
ancient boy stuff.

360
00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:46,934
We think things.

361
00:17:46,959 --> 00:17:50,006
We don't tell you all the
things, but we think 'em.

362
00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:54,353
Hey, first of all,

363
00:17:54,378 --> 00:17:57,915
I would never want you to do
something that you didn't want to do.

364
00:17:57,940 --> 00:17:59,476
And second of all,

365
00:17:59,501 --> 00:18:02,722
you could never be less of a man to me.

366
00:18:04,018 --> 00:18:05,173
Really?

367
00:18:05,198 --> 00:18:06,370
Really.

368
00:18:12,831 --> 00:18:14,789
You know, uh...

369
00:18:15,473 --> 00:18:17,562
it's windy today.

370
00:18:19,085 --> 00:18:21,633
And when I was running home,

371
00:18:21,658 --> 00:18:23,312
trying to keep my dress down...

372
00:18:24,344 --> 00:18:25,693
it occurred to me

373
00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:29,689
that I may have
overreacted a little bit.

374
00:18:29,714 --> 00:18:31,629
- A lot.
- A lot.

375
00:18:35,911 --> 00:18:37,870
I love you.

376
00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:39,628
I love you, too.

377
00:18:41,916 --> 00:18:43,668
But we still can't have sex.

378
00:18:43,711 --> 00:18:45,496
I know.

379
00:18:48,014 --> 00:18:50,712
But what's our second-favorite
thing to do in the bedroom?

380
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,665
We can watch House Hunters.

381
00:18:56,682 --> 00:18:57,923
Okay.

382
00:18:57,948 --> 00:19:01,689
Hey, but you can't hug me
when they find wood floors

383
00:19:01,714 --> 00:19:04,282
under the carpet, or we
might have a fourth kid.

384
00:19:08,762 --> 00:19:11,286
But it turns me on so much!

385
00:19:15,715 --> 00:19:17,500
You don't look so good.

386
00:19:18,246 --> 00:19:20,553
I had another nookie-free night.

387
00:19:22,174 --> 00:19:24,002
I'm going crazy.

388
00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:27,565
I'm like a racehorse stuck in a barn.

389
00:19:28,964 --> 00:19:31,205
I know what you mean.
It's like the Olympics.

390
00:19:31,230 --> 00:19:32,605
If I don't get it every two years,

391
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:34,458
I feel like I missed something.

392
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,420
Adam? Adam, I just got off
the phone with my doctor...

393
00:19:37,450 --> 00:19:39,369
Oh. Lowell,

394
00:19:39,394 --> 00:19:41,607
you have to go. Now!

395
00:19:41,632 --> 00:19:43,286
Now? Why?

396
00:19:44,659 --> 00:19:46,002
Because all your stuff's out there.

397
00:19:46,026 --> 00:19:47,634
Come on! Come on.

398
00:19:47,659 --> 00:19:48,766
Come on, come on.

399
00:19:48,810 --> 00:19:51,116
This keeps happening to me.

400
00:19:51,911 --> 00:19:53,917
What? What? What is it?

401
00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:55,904
The doctor got my test results back,

402
00:19:55,947 --> 00:19:58,297
and my headaches aren't from the pill.

403
00:19:58,341 --> 00:20:00,268
It's from too much coffee! Yeah.

404
00:20:00,293 --> 00:20:02,682
Turns out I have a
horrible caffeine addiction!

405
00:20:02,707 --> 00:20:04,557
How awesome is that?!

406
00:20:04,582 --> 00:20:06,828
So awesome!

407
00:20:06,871 --> 00:20:09,127
- Let's celebrate. Where's your pills?
- I already took two.

408
00:20:09,151 --> 00:20:10,494
The kids are at school.
I'll race you upstairs.

409
00:20:10,518 --> 00:20:13,586
Okay. Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

410
00:20:13,611 --> 00:20:15,372
- Wait,, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- What?

411
00:20:15,397 --> 00:20:16,920
What is that for?

412
00:20:16,945 --> 00:20:18,860
You know, just for fun.

413
00:20:20,307 --> 00:20:22,733
You be the sexy nurse,
and I'll be the guy

414
00:20:22,758 --> 00:20:24,778
who just woke up from a coma
and forgot how to have sex.

415
00:20:24,802 --> 00:20:26,898
Oh, let's go. Oh!

416
00:20:27,007 --> 00:20:28,107
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