1
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,375
Hey.

2
00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:05,537
How was yoga class?

3
00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:08,500
Amazing. I feel very centered,

4
00:00:08,525 --> 00:00:11,727
'cause we skipped it and went
to the wine bar next door.

5
00:00:12,947 --> 00:00:15,815
And then we nama-stayed
there for a couple hours.

6
00:00:16,635 --> 00:00:17,850
I'm all for it.

7
00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:20,786
You're never more lovely than
when you're half in the bag.

8
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:23,255
Oh, um, I talked to my
parents, and they're driving in

9
00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:24,723
from Virginia for Easter.

10
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:27,245
What? No, no, no. I thought you said

11
00:00:27,250 --> 00:00:30,417
Frank and Alice weren't
coming, so I invited my parents.

12
00:00:30,474 --> 00:00:33,575
You got to stop telling me
stuff through the bathroom door.

13
00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:37,369
Oh, this is not good.

14
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,238
Why not? A house full of grandparents...

15
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,839
That's what a holiday's supposed to be.

16
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:43,208
Not with these jokers.

17
00:00:43,785 --> 00:00:46,612
They are exactly the same,
but they hate each other.

18
00:00:46,626 --> 00:00:49,252
- Like Alabama and Georgia.
- Yeah.

19
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:51,982
It all goes back to when Katie was born,

20
00:00:52,007 --> 00:00:53,440
'cause both sets of grandparents

21
00:00:53,465 --> 00:00:55,445
wanted to be called Grandma and Grandpa.

22
00:00:55,470 --> 00:00:57,373
So they all agreed that they'd settle it

23
00:00:57,398 --> 00:00:58,289
when they got to the hospital.

24
00:00:58,314 --> 00:00:59,658
Yeah. So my parents said

25
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,393
that they would pick her
parents up on the way.

26
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,494
So Frank and Alice

27
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:03,865
are waiting outside their hotel,

28
00:01:03,890 --> 00:01:05,128
my dad just drove straight by

29
00:01:05,129 --> 00:01:06,792
- and gave them the finger.
- Yeah.

30
00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:08,917
His parents got to the hospital first,

31
00:01:08,918 --> 00:01:11,036
and claimed Grandma and
Grandpa for themselves.

32
00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:14,706
Yeah. And her parents got
stuck with Nana and Pop Pop.

33
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,778
Which we don't think is funny.

34
00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:22,681
They didn't take it well.

35
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:24,883
No, I will not be Nana.

36
00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:27,519
I'm already wearing the Grandma
sweatshirt, Bev... I'm Grandma!

37
00:01:27,792 --> 00:01:28,959
Is that how you talk

38
00:01:28,973 --> 00:01:31,959
to your clients at your
fortune teller business?

39
00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:34,537
I am a licensed therapist.

40
00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:37,663
And it is my professional
opinion that you are cuckoo!

41
00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:40,199
You cheated to get here first.

42
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:42,978
You drove by and gave me a
crude, one-fingered salute.

43
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:46,700
I... I was just surprised
to finally see a Navy man.

44
00:01:46,725 --> 00:01:48,273
I sure as hell never saw one

45
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,709
when my Army platoon was
pinned down by Charlie!

46
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:52,411
We were on a ship.

47
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:56,515
Oh, yes. Vietnam was a great sea war.

48
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:58,884
And it's been 14 years of that.

49
00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:00,152
Yeah. You know, our folks

50
00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:02,307
should come with one
of those tornado sirens,

51
00:02:02,332 --> 00:02:03,989
so we have time to board up the windows

52
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:06,959
and strap ourselves to the water heater.

53
00:02:06,961 --> 00:02:08,627
That's why we have a
time share in Lake Placid

54
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,704
- that we have to go to every holiday.
- You do?

55
00:02:10,705 --> 00:02:12,129
Yeah. I love Lake Placid.

56
00:02:12,154 --> 00:02:14,087
It's not real. He made it up.

57
00:02:14,112 --> 00:02:17,713
It's just an excuse to avoid
the battle of the varicose veins.

58
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:20,472
You know, if you were a good brother,

59
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,040
you would stay here and help me.

60
00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:23,575
Well, if you were a smart brother,

61
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,544
you would have thought of
the fake time share first.

62
00:02:26,811 --> 00:02:28,487
I know. I'm so jealous.

63
00:02:30,225 --> 00:02:31,646
Listen, we can't have

64
00:02:31,671 --> 00:02:34,052
both sets of grandparents
for the holiday, right?

65
00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:35,426
We have to uninvite one of them,

66
00:02:35,451 --> 00:02:38,541
and I think my parents
deserve Easter this year.

67
00:02:38,566 --> 00:02:41,860
Deserve? I think that's for
the Easter Bunny to decide,

68
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:44,363
not you.

69
00:02:45,459 --> 00:02:48,043
Okay, but my parents got
stuck with Thanksgiving,

70
00:02:48,064 --> 00:02:50,168
and that's a B-team holiday
compared to Christmas,

71
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,003
which your parents got.

72
00:02:52,205 --> 00:02:53,104
Thanksgiving

73
00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:57,064
plus Easter equals Christmas.

74
00:02:57,662 --> 00:02:59,762
That's called math.

75
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:02,948
Yes, my parents got Christmas,
but then they found out

76
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:05,484
we took your parents to Myrtle Beach.

77
00:03:05,509 --> 00:03:09,044
Christmas minus Myrtle
Beach equals Easter.

78
00:03:09,888 --> 00:03:10,856
Okay?

79
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:14,326
So put that in your
calculator and smoke it.

80
00:03:15,214 --> 00:03:16,295
Look,

81
00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:18,964
all I'm saying is that your
parents live here, all right?

82
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:20,465
They're with the kids all the time.

83
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:23,346
My parents only get to see
them, like, once or twice a year.

84
00:03:23,417 --> 00:03:25,667
Yeah, but I can't uninvite mine.

85
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:27,339
Well, I can't uninvite mine.

86
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,107
I can't believe you think your parents

87
00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:31,557
should get both Christmas and Easter.

88
00:03:31,582 --> 00:03:33,011
Well, there are reasons.

89
00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:35,447
You remember when your
mother cooked Thanksgiving?

90
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:36,982
What's that smell? Hmm?

91
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,550
Is that a turkey roasting?

92
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:41,019
No, it's liver.

93
00:03:43,417 --> 00:03:47,335
Our whole house smelled like
the inside of a burning cow.

94
00:03:48,484 --> 00:03:49,294
Okay.

95
00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:50,862
The only reason she makes that

96
00:03:50,864 --> 00:03:52,864
is because when I first
brought you home to meet them,

97
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,433
you said you liked it.

98
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:57,035
I was trying to sleep with you.

99
00:03:58,559 --> 00:03:59,471
I didn't know

100
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,707
I was joining the Liver for Life Club.

101
00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:04,403
Will you listen to yourself?

102
00:04:04,428 --> 00:04:06,478
You promised we'd never
fight about our parents.

103
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:09,081
Again, I was trying to sleep with you.

104
00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:23,249
- Hey.
- Hey.

105
00:04:23,250 --> 00:04:24,292
I got great news.

106
00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:25,530
I have great news, too.

107
00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:26,598
Oh, mine's better.

108
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,600
My parents aren't coming.

109
00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:30,402
What?

110
00:04:30,693 --> 00:04:32,292
Your parents aren't coming?

111
00:04:33,461 --> 00:04:35,389
Our parents aren't coming!

112
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:39,944
Yeah, mine cancelled 'cause
they didn't want to see yours.

113
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,413
Mine, too.

114
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:43,815
They finally agree on
something. Look at that.

115
00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:46,458
Wow.

116
00:04:46,459 --> 00:04:49,168
- Crisis averted, huh?
- Yeah.

117
00:04:50,231 --> 00:04:51,723
God, I feel like I can admit to you now

118
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:53,491
that I was gonna fake a sprained ankle

119
00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:55,527
and spend the weekend in bed.

120
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,164
I was gonna do the same
thing with lady problems.

121
00:05:00,918 --> 00:05:03,127
- We are so cute.
- Yeah.

122
00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:06,171
Why are there body parts in our fridge?

123
00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:07,605
Oh.

124
00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:09,074
That's liver, honey.

125
00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:11,720
I-I got it for your nana to
cook before she cancelled.

126
00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:13,678
Yeah, Katie, will you take that
outside and put it in the trash?

127
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:14,979
I want to eat an Easter dinner

128
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,971
that doesn't look like an autopsy.

129
00:05:17,456 --> 00:05:18,650
Ugh.

130
00:05:18,918 --> 00:05:20,960
Wait, put it back in the fridge.

131
00:05:20,961 --> 00:05:23,577
You know, now that I think about it,

132
00:05:23,602 --> 00:05:26,424
if your parents aren't
coming, I should reinvite mine.

133
00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:29,027
Don't you put that back in the fridge.

134
00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:33,001
Listen, if we're gonna reinvite anybody,

135
00:05:33,002 --> 00:05:34,332
it should be my parents.

136
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,001
Put it back in the fridge, Kate.

137
00:05:38,751 --> 00:05:40,335
Why does it get to be your parents?

138
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,141
Freeze, Katie.

139
00:05:43,782 --> 00:05:45,944
Because my parents are
Grandma and Grandpa.

140
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,278
The real deal.

141
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:48,746
Yours are Nana and Pop Pop.

142
00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:51,290
They're, like, the store brand.

143
00:05:54,985 --> 00:05:57,689
Did you just call my
parents the store brand?

144
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,191
Okay, I'm putting this down.

145
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,893
The place where I'm holding
this is getting warm,

146
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:03,528
and I think I feel a heartbeat.

147
00:06:07,266 --> 00:06:09,334
I thought we agreed not
to fight about our parents.

148
00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:11,560
Well, hey, I like the store brand.

149
00:06:11,585 --> 00:06:14,620
I mean, it's cheaper and almost as good.

150
00:06:23,997 --> 00:06:25,276
I'm calling my mom.

151
00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:26,584
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

152
00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:28,853
Geez, Louise.

153
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:31,340
Okay, look, maybe
there's a third way, okay?

154
00:06:31,365 --> 00:06:33,258
Listen, through no fault of our own,

155
00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:35,360
a grandparent-free weekend

156
00:06:35,385 --> 00:06:38,055
has fallen into our laps.

157
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:39,597
What if

158
00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:40,598
we say nothing?

159
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:45,370
What if we reinvite nobody?

160
00:06:47,244 --> 00:06:49,073
We can't do that.

161
00:06:49,874 --> 00:06:51,743
Can we?

162
00:06:52,062 --> 00:06:53,711
I'd like to believe we can do anything.

163
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:56,047
That's what dreams are made of, Andi.

164
00:06:58,196 --> 00:07:00,310
This is really just us

165
00:07:00,335 --> 00:07:02,587
making the world a better place.

166
00:07:04,356 --> 00:07:05,423
Hmm.

167
00:07:05,846 --> 00:07:07,846
It's a little thin, but I'm in.

168
00:07:11,262 --> 00:07:12,120
Hey.

169
00:07:12,145 --> 00:07:12,964
My dad just called.

170
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,232
Him and Mom are stopping by, okay?

171
00:07:14,461 --> 00:07:15,860
But the kids are here.

172
00:07:15,885 --> 00:07:17,151
So?

173
00:07:18,181 --> 00:07:19,537
Hey, when you wanted to have kids,

174
00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:22,440
I warned you they would
be here all the time.

175
00:07:23,267 --> 00:07:26,010
Adam, your parents
aren't coming to Easter

176
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:28,838
because we told them my
parents were gonna be here.

177
00:07:28,900 --> 00:07:30,508
But they're not coming,

178
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,750
and the kids know that.

179
00:07:33,150 --> 00:07:34,285
The kids are here!

180
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:35,853
There it is!

181
00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:37,488
But they can't keep a secret.

182
00:07:37,501 --> 00:07:39,419
They'll let it slip,
and we'll get busted.

183
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,335
Yeah.

184
00:07:40,383 --> 00:07:41,777
Okay, uh...

185
00:07:41,972 --> 00:07:43,736
there's only one thing we can do.

186
00:07:43,761 --> 00:07:45,463
Tell your parents the
truth and hope for the best?

187
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,777
No. We teach the kids to lie.

188
00:07:49,722 --> 00:07:51,202
Smart.

189
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,237
Yeah.

190
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,805
Your folks will never see that coming

191
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,607
'cause no good parent
would ever do that.

192
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,075
Yeah, yeah. I mean,

193
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,791
we really should be
better people than this,

194
00:07:58,834 --> 00:08:00,543
- but look who raised us.
- Right?

195
00:08:03,542 --> 00:08:05,792
I know we've told you
for your whole lives

196
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,418
that it's wrong to lie,

197
00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:10,388
but it turns out there's
one or two exceptions.

198
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:11,823
Mm-hmm. That's right.

199
00:08:13,277 --> 00:08:14,425
Now, there's bad lies,

200
00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:16,761
which are almost all lies,

201
00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:20,632
but occasionally, there's a good lie,

202
00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:25,253
or what we like to call a family lie.

203
00:08:27,384 --> 00:08:28,406
Oh, like that time

204
00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:31,242
you told us to say
Mom's hair looked good?

205
00:08:37,282 --> 00:08:39,249
What time was that?

206
00:08:40,202 --> 00:08:41,319
No time.

207
00:08:41,334 --> 00:08:43,417
- It always looks good.
- Aw.

208
00:08:43,418 --> 00:08:46,324
See, that's an example of a family lie.

209
00:08:49,201 --> 00:08:52,346
Okay, well, another example would be

210
00:08:52,371 --> 00:08:54,032
keeping the fact that Nana and Pop Pop

211
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,199
aren't coming to Easter

212
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,669
a secret from Grandma and Grandpa.

213
00:08:57,671 --> 00:09:00,171
And if we don't, you get in trouble?

214
00:09:03,782 --> 00:09:05,482
Give us a second.

215
00:09:11,626 --> 00:09:12,960
We'll do it...

216
00:09:13,577 --> 00:09:14,867
for a price.

217
00:09:15,611 --> 00:09:16,521
We want

218
00:09:16,542 --> 00:09:19,293
unlimited time with the
candy in our Easter baskets.

219
00:09:19,337 --> 00:09:21,659
We eat till we get sick.

220
00:09:22,888 --> 00:09:24,295
Look, I don't care what
comes out of your mouth

221
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,064
as long as it's not the truth.

222
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:30,084
Oh, we just stopped by

223
00:09:30,085 --> 00:09:31,402
to let you know

224
00:09:31,417 --> 00:09:32,875
that since you have other plans,

225
00:09:32,876 --> 00:09:34,818
we'll be going out of town for Easter.

226
00:09:34,982 --> 00:09:37,683
Oh, well, good for you.

227
00:09:37,708 --> 00:09:38,910
Where are you guys gonna go?

228
00:09:38,918 --> 00:09:41,419
Disney World.

229
00:09:41,607 --> 00:09:42,780
Uh, w-why? What?

230
00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:44,148
Why would you guys go there?

231
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:45,817
That's for kids.

232
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:48,224
Good point. Hey, kids.

233
00:09:48,249 --> 00:09:49,787
I've got a crazy idea.

234
00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:51,989
Why don't we take all of you?

235
00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:52,960
Huh?

236
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,302
Oh, Joe, that sounds wonderful.

237
00:09:55,334 --> 00:09:56,960
But they can't come

238
00:09:57,006 --> 00:10:00,074
because they've chosen to
spend Easter here with...

239
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,531
what do they call themselves?

240
00:10:01,556 --> 00:10:03,623
MeeMu and Flip Flop.

241
00:10:04,490 --> 00:10:07,193
Well, there goes Disney World.

242
00:10:07,521 --> 00:10:08,314
What?!

243
00:10:08,339 --> 00:10:09,841
What's happening?

244
00:10:10,036 --> 00:10:11,453
- You never said anything about...
- Whoa, whoa.

245
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:13,337
You've got a runny nose.
Will you look at that?

246
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:14,645
Let's take you into the pantry

247
00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:17,120
where we always handle runny
noses, huh? Here you go.

248
00:10:17,501 --> 00:10:20,043
Now, listen.

249
00:10:20,065 --> 00:10:21,419
No, you listen.

250
00:10:22,618 --> 00:10:24,217
I'm going to Disney.

251
00:10:24,242 --> 00:10:26,234
Everything I love is there.

252
00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:27,525
But...

253
00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:28,659
No buts.

254
00:10:28,841 --> 00:10:31,142
I will end you over this.

255
00:10:36,918 --> 00:10:38,374
Andi!

256
00:10:38,375 --> 00:10:40,709
Be right there. So, Grandma.

257
00:10:40,732 --> 00:10:41,666
Let's circle back to this Disney thing.

258
00:10:41,667 --> 00:10:42,750
Okay, you know what? H... Why don't we

259
00:10:42,792 --> 00:10:44,959
go help you dad find the tissues?

260
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,102
Huh?

261
00:10:49,125 --> 00:10:50,667
- It's working.
- Mmm.

262
00:10:50,675 --> 00:10:53,625
We're getting this holiday back.

263
00:10:53,626 --> 00:10:56,881
Emme, we can't go to Disney
with Grandma and Grandpa,

264
00:10:56,918 --> 00:10:59,794
'cause Nana and Pop Pop would
be so jealous they'd have to...

265
00:10:59,795 --> 00:11:02,001
- I don't know, move in with us.
- Yeah.

266
00:11:02,038 --> 00:11:04,178
I'm telling Grandma
and Grandpa everything.

267
00:11:04,180 --> 00:11:06,005
And then I'm packing for Florida.

268
00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:08,651
Wait. Wait. Wait.

269
00:11:08,822 --> 00:11:11,786
Okay, uh, if you guys stick to our plan

270
00:11:11,788 --> 00:11:14,752
and keep everything we've
talked about between us,

271
00:11:15,182 --> 00:11:16,120
we'll take you to...

272
00:11:16,125 --> 00:11:17,667
- Disney World.
- What?

273
00:11:18,328 --> 00:11:19,627
I was gonna take them to frozen yogurt.

274
00:11:19,629 --> 00:11:21,329
I got a coupon.

275
00:11:21,331 --> 00:11:25,156
Nice try. I want to
hear more from the lady.

276
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:28,709
We will take you to Disney this summer.

277
00:11:28,734 --> 00:11:30,631
Great. Peak season.

278
00:11:30,656 --> 00:11:33,341
Why don't you just put all our
money in a pile and burn it?

279
00:11:33,742 --> 00:11:38,646
Okay, but we need to see
dates, receipts, confirmations.

280
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,818
You don't trust us to book it?

281
00:11:40,843 --> 00:11:43,410
You literally just taught us to lie.

282
00:11:45,412 --> 00:11:47,442
Okay. Well, it only took five of us,

283
00:11:47,459 --> 00:11:49,377
but we got that runny nose handled.

284
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,345
So are we all going to Disney World?

285
00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:54,981
I don't think Nana has
ever taken you there,

286
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:58,250
but that's really
something a grandma does.

287
00:11:58,722 --> 00:11:59,597
Mom,

288
00:11:59,622 --> 00:12:01,311
they're not going to Florida with you.

289
00:12:01,313 --> 00:12:02,745
Are you kidding me?

290
00:12:02,747 --> 00:12:05,482
But we-we already bought the tickets.

291
00:12:05,907 --> 00:12:07,817
Did you?

292
00:12:08,053 --> 00:12:11,354
Well, we could have.

293
00:12:14,915 --> 00:12:17,249
- This is nice.
- Mmm.

294
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:19,029
You know how I know there's
no grandparents here?

295
00:12:19,083 --> 00:12:19,917
Hmm?

296
00:12:19,928 --> 00:12:22,999
The Golf Channel isn't playing
at the volume of a Who concert.

297
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:25,803
Andi.

298
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,770
It's Mom and Dad.

299
00:12:27,772 --> 00:12:29,572
What are my parents doing here?

300
00:12:29,574 --> 00:12:31,241
Wh...? What do we do?

301
00:12:31,243 --> 00:12:34,167
Uh, get low and crawl upstairs.

302
00:12:34,792 --> 00:12:35,979
Very funny.

303
00:12:35,981 --> 00:12:37,363
Well, at least it's an idea.

304
00:12:37,375 --> 00:12:40,042
- You got anything?
- Yeah, open the door.

305
00:12:45,156 --> 00:12:46,723
Last chance.

306
00:12:47,659 --> 00:12:49,826
Happiness is over in three...

307
00:12:49,828 --> 00:12:51,995
two... one...

308
00:12:53,834 --> 00:12:56,418
Frank, Alice. Wow.

309
00:12:56,434 --> 00:12:57,767
Look who it is, Andi.

310
00:12:57,769 --> 00:13:00,024
Boy, Frank, you are full of surprises.

311
00:13:00,042 --> 00:13:02,412
Well, I like to keep things interesting.

312
00:13:02,413 --> 00:13:04,741
We can't all get by on our good looks.

313
00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:07,410
And ever when we do,
it doesn't last forever.

314
00:13:08,626 --> 00:13:10,544
Well, I don't have to tell you that.

315
00:13:11,272 --> 00:13:12,559
Get my bag.

316
00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:15,168
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hello, kitten.

317
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,696
- Hi, Mom.
- Oh, hi, honey bun. Ooh.

318
00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:20,531
So, uh, wh-what are
you guys doing here?

319
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:24,249
Well, uh, Joe and Bev
may have Easter Day,

320
00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:27,667
but we're making a new
holiday, Easter Eve.

321
00:13:28,042 --> 00:13:29,125
- Where the kids
- Mmm.

322
00:13:29,167 --> 00:13:30,490
get baskets full of candy,

323
00:13:30,491 --> 00:13:31,976
and they have an egg hunt.

324
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,644
Ah.

325
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,713
But th-that's what they do on Easter.

326
00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:37,815
Oh, no. Oh, poor Joe and Bev.

327
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:41,018
It's gonna ruin their Easter Day.

328
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:43,721
Oh, well. You know,

329
00:13:43,751 --> 00:13:46,793
- the ups and downs of life.
- Yeah.

330
00:13:46,821 --> 00:13:50,728
I am riding that wave right now.

331
00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:53,064
I j... I just wish you guys
hadn't gone to all this trouble.

332
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:54,881
What trouble? It was a quick

333
00:13:54,906 --> 00:13:57,568
seven-and-a-half hour drive.

334
00:13:57,842 --> 00:13:59,270
Yeah, and we only stopped once,

335
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:00,972
and I peed behind a thorn bush.

336
00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:02,543
- So...
- Oh.

337
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,041
I'm hoping that you have some Neosporin

338
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:05,543
and a floor mirror.

339
00:14:09,483 --> 00:14:12,577
What a beautiful Easter story, Mom.

340
00:14:15,751 --> 00:14:17,823
She had to cook liver.

341
00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:21,993
The whole house smells
like a cat food factory.

342
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:23,451
So open the window.

343
00:14:23,476 --> 00:14:25,062
That's not gonna do it.

344
00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:27,098
We're gonna need to drop a
load of Febreze on this place

345
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,700
from one of those firefighting planes.

346
00:14:31,757 --> 00:14:33,571
Okay. Honey, you need,
you need to settle down.

347
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,124
Settle down?

348
00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:38,125
I've lied to my folks,
paid an arm and a leg

349
00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:40,211
to go to stupid Florida.

350
00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:43,209
I will have my quiet holiday, okay?

351
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:46,551
You need to get rid
of Meemu and Flip-Flop.

352
00:14:48,501 --> 00:14:50,127
I cannot believe you
just called them that.

353
00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:51,834
I did and it was fun.

354
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,394
What happened to not
fighting about our parents?

355
00:14:56,396 --> 00:15:00,433
Your mother took my shaving
mirror two hours ago.

356
00:15:00,458 --> 00:15:02,458
Think of what it's seeing.

357
00:15:03,293 --> 00:15:06,471
Yeah, I saw my dad head
upstairs with a flashlight.

358
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:10,441
It's a real expedition.

359
00:15:11,501 --> 00:15:14,085
Adam, I am not telling
my parents to leave, okay?

360
00:15:14,113 --> 00:15:15,980
They're here because they love us.

361
00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:17,448
They're here because
they're trying to steal

362
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:20,151
what they think is my parents' holiday.

363
00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:21,452
Well, I think my parents

364
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:23,354
are entitled to steal a few holidays,

365
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:27,291
just like your parents stole
the good grandparent names.

366
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,228
Why don't you just admit it, huh?

367
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:32,997
You like your parents better than mine.

368
00:15:34,092 --> 00:15:36,567
Of course I do, they're my parents.

369
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:39,003
Oh, I see. You know what?

370
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:40,671
I'd go sleep in the guest
room if it wasn't full

371
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:42,507
of your parents and liver farts.

372
00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:43,985
Oh.

373
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,870
Come on, honey. Come here.

374
00:15:48,176 --> 00:15:50,055
I'm sorry.

375
00:15:50,222 --> 00:15:52,416
Me, too. I...

376
00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:53,775
I don't want to fight with you.

377
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:56,367
They do this to us, you know?

378
00:15:56,392 --> 00:15:58,022
If they weren't so miserable together,

379
00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:00,324
we could have holidays
like normal people.

380
00:16:00,326 --> 00:16:01,592
Yeah.

381
00:16:01,931 --> 00:16:04,862
Like the people in car commercials.

382
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:07,231
Yeah.

383
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:09,100
You know what? I'm done with this.

384
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:10,535
I'm calling my parents tomorrow,

385
00:16:10,537 --> 00:16:12,970
and I am ordering them to
come over here for Easter.

386
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,438
We'll sit them all
down and we'll tell them

387
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:15,940
we're sick of their fighting.

388
00:16:16,292 --> 00:16:18,001
- Really?
- Yeah.

389
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,000
Right to their faces?

390
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:21,520
Yep.

391
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:22,980
Yeah. I'm more comfortable

392
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,550
just rolling my eyes behind their backs.

393
00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:29,687
Honey, nothing's gonna
change unless we change it.

394
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:35,026
Okay. You know, I'm not afraid of them.

395
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:36,561
Good. Yeah.

396
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:37,895
I'm glad we're a team on this.

397
00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:39,481
We absolutely are.

398
00:16:39,626 --> 00:16:40,709
- Mmm.
- Yeah.

399
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:42,500
After you do it, be
sure to come back up here

400
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,419
and tell me how it went.

401
00:16:47,626 --> 00:16:50,542
Eh, eh, that's not how you do it.

402
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:52,243
You've got to hide the egg,

403
00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:54,078
otherwise it's not an egg "hunt,"

404
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,918
it's an egg "see."

405
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:57,455
All right, we can do this.

406
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,684
We just stick together, and we get...

407
00:16:59,971 --> 00:17:01,504
Andi?

408
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,189
I'm coming.

409
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:06,390
Stop doing that.

410
00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:08,526
It took us 20 minutes to get downstairs.

411
00:17:09,634 --> 00:17:11,529
I don't think a naval officer

412
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,497
has to have anything explained to him

413
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:15,066
by an army grunt.

414
00:17:15,068 --> 00:17:18,202
Those are wise words, Admiral Flip Flop.

415
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,304
Boys, boys, come on, let's not fight.

416
00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:21,472
It's Easter.

417
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:24,008
Bev, try some of my coffee cake.

418
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:26,577
Your son says it's magical.

419
00:17:26,905 --> 00:17:28,379
Magical, huh?

420
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:31,182
Will it make you
disappear back to Virginia?

421
00:17:32,037 --> 00:17:33,250
Look at that.

422
00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:35,052
They need to hear this. Come on.

423
00:17:35,342 --> 00:17:36,854
Okay, that's enough.

424
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:38,155
We need to talk to you

425
00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:39,790
about these holidays, okay?

426
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:42,026
It's not gonna be an easy conversation,

427
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:43,594
but we have to clear the air.

428
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:46,263
I think he's finally gonna apologize.

429
00:17:46,491 --> 00:17:50,368
What? Me, apologize? For what?

430
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:52,503
For ruining the holidays.

431
00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:55,406
Why is she saying my words?

432
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,907
Whenever we're all together,

433
00:17:56,909 --> 00:18:00,378
you two are always
so tense and agitated.

434
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:02,954
You're not easy to be around.

435
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:05,349
You're the ones who cancelled Easter

436
00:18:05,351 --> 00:18:07,351
because you said you didn't
want to see each other.

437
00:18:07,353 --> 00:18:08,919
We were trying to be
nice. We don't want to

438
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,889
put pressure on you,
because you're so fragile.

439
00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:15,259
The only reason we're tense is

440
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,261
because you guys fight all the time.

441
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,664
Yeah, I mean, you seem like
you don't like each other.

442
00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:22,500
We're in-laws... we're not
supposed to like each other.

443
00:18:23,626 --> 00:18:26,544
- I really don't like anybody.
- Mmm.

444
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:31,008
This generation,

445
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:32,610
they think everybody's supposed to be

446
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,945
happy and nice all the time.

447
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,519
An-And, if-if I may...

448
00:18:37,544 --> 00:18:40,017
Your unrealistic expectations are

449
00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:41,585
the cause of the problem.

450
00:18:41,586 --> 00:18:42,793
- Good point.
- Good point.

451
00:18:42,825 --> 00:18:44,493
- That's right.
- Very good.

452
00:18:44,501 --> 00:18:46,127
- Mm-hmm.
- It's true.

453
00:18:46,297 --> 00:18:50,766
Oh. Well, then, I guess we're...

454
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,164
Sorry?

455
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:57,958
Somehow, we are.

456
00:18:57,959 --> 00:19:01,042
Oh, they feel bad. That's nice.

457
00:19:03,077 --> 00:19:06,264
Well, you've really taught us a lesson.

458
00:19:06,289 --> 00:19:07,147
Yeah.

459
00:19:07,220 --> 00:19:08,679
But, you know, unfortunately, guys,

460
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:10,147
I gotta go upstairs.

461
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,149
Lady problems.

462
00:19:13,352 --> 00:19:14,385
What?

463
00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:15,453
And, Adam, you better

464
00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:16,526
come upstairs and get off

465
00:19:16,551 --> 00:19:18,556
that ankle you sprained yesterday.

466
00:19:21,209 --> 00:19:25,001
That is a beautiful family lie.

467
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:31,668
Aw...

468
00:19:37,626 --> 00:19:39,177
- Joe.
- Yeah?

469
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,244
Let's watch some golf.

470
00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:41,876
Yeah. Turn it up.

471
00:19:49,542 --> 00:19:51,251
I love having all you guys here.

472
00:19:51,264 --> 00:19:54,232
Oh, we love being here.

473
00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:56,401
I always forget about this part.

474
00:19:56,417 --> 00:19:58,959
- I like this part.
- Yeah.

475
00:20:00,273 --> 00:20:03,007
But they're the crazy ones, right?

476
00:20:03,009 --> 00:20:05,777
Oh, yeah, it's wack-a-doo
city over there.

477
00:20:07,647 --> 00:20:10,315
Hey, what time's the ga... Hey.

478
00:20:10,556 --> 00:20:11,583
Whoa.

479
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:13,337
Look at this.

480
00:20:13,362 --> 00:20:16,497
Marcy, everybody's here.

481
00:20:16,690 --> 00:20:18,790
I see that.

482
00:20:18,792 --> 00:20:20,501
- Well, we just popped in for a second.
- Yeah.

483
00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:23,330
We're heading to our
time-share any minute.

484
00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:24,796
Oh, well, that's a shame.

485
00:20:24,798 --> 00:20:26,798
We never get to spend time with you two.

486
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:30,068
I know, but it's impossible
to get out of a time-share.

487
00:20:30,083 --> 00:20:31,709
Everybody knows that. Right?

488
00:20:32,334 --> 00:20:33,376
You told me you got rid

489
00:20:33,401 --> 00:20:34,472
of all the grandparents.

490
00:20:34,474 --> 00:20:35,907
Got rid of us?

491
00:20:35,909 --> 00:20:37,622
What do you mean, "got rid of us"?

492
00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:39,444
Adam, were you trying

493
00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:40,879
to have Easter without us?

494
00:20:40,881 --> 00:20:42,981
Don's time-share is a fake.

495
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,167
- What?!
- What?!

496
00:20:44,565 --> 00:20:45,950
What are you doing to me?

497
00:20:45,952 --> 00:20:47,541
Happy Easter.

498
00:20:47,542 --> 00:20:49,542
Somebody get this man some liver.

499
00:20:50,751 --> 00:20:55,751
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