1
00:00:01,585 --> 00:00:02,884
You got us going to the opera

2
00:00:02,886 --> 00:00:04,953
three nights in a row?

3
00:00:04,955 --> 00:00:08,990
Just tell me what I did
wrong, and I won't do it again.

4
00:00:08,992 --> 00:00:11,727
No, no. It's an arts
festival, all right?

5
00:00:11,729 --> 00:00:14,196
The first night is opera,
the second night is ballet,

6
00:00:14,198 --> 00:00:15,997
and then the third night is

7
00:00:15,999 --> 00:00:17,899
jazz poetry.

8
00:00:19,136 --> 00:00:21,603
Did you say "jazz poetry"?

9
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:24,039
Listen, I-I watched this Oprah thing

10
00:00:24,041 --> 00:00:26,174
about how exposing
yourself to the fine arts

11
00:00:26,176 --> 00:00:29,283
can maximize your life's potential.

12
00:00:31,001 --> 00:00:32,933
You ever notice Oprah
doesn't have a husband?

13
00:00:34,728 --> 00:00:37,252
Mom, you have to return this shirt.

14
00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:39,988
Tiffany from school said
it was offensively boring.

15
00:00:39,990 --> 00:00:44,326
Andi, Katie doesn't like
her shirt. We can't go out.

16
00:00:45,129 --> 00:00:46,595
Here's what you do; you look Tiffany

17
00:00:46,597 --> 00:00:48,263
straight in the eye, and you say,

18
00:00:48,265 --> 00:00:50,065
"It doesn't matter what I wear

19
00:00:50,067 --> 00:00:54,169
because there's a candle in
me that no wind can blow out."

20
00:00:54,647 --> 00:00:55,871
Sure, I'll say that

21
00:00:55,873 --> 00:00:57,606
if you tell me what school
you're transferring me to.

22
00:00:57,608 --> 00:00:58,874
Oh.

23
00:00:59,910 --> 00:01:01,343
Oh, guys, that's the babysitter.

24
00:01:04,290 --> 00:01:05,891
Hi.

25
00:01:05,916 --> 00:01:08,350
I'm sorry, uh, I think you're
in the wrong neighborhood.

26
00:01:08,352 --> 00:01:10,352
Are you looking for Coachella?

27
00:01:10,354 --> 00:01:11,953
Adam, this is Sophia.

28
00:01:11,955 --> 00:01:13,622
She volunteers down at the hospital.

29
00:01:13,624 --> 00:01:16,124
- Oh.
- Hi. You must be Emme.

30
00:01:16,126 --> 00:01:19,261
I'm the cute one you're not
gonna be able to say no to.

31
00:01:19,263 --> 00:01:21,763
I was just thinking that.

32
00:01:21,765 --> 00:01:23,732
I'm Ted. What's up, girl?

33
00:01:24,946 --> 00:01:26,234
Don't say that.

34
00:01:26,236 --> 00:01:29,070
You said it was a good
line for picking up babes.

35
00:01:30,110 --> 00:01:31,673
Don't say that, either.

36
00:01:32,305 --> 00:01:33,708
Uh, come on in.

37
00:01:33,710 --> 00:01:35,343
Awesome.

38
00:01:38,138 --> 00:01:39,648
And, Andi, come on out.

39
00:01:41,718 --> 00:01:43,552
J-Just one...

40
00:01:44,115 --> 00:01:46,321
What have you brought into our home?

41
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:47,904
What's wrong with Sophia?

42
00:01:47,929 --> 00:01:50,341
Oh, come on. What does she
do down at the hospital?

43
00:01:50,366 --> 00:01:53,662
Just walk around and give
people a reason to live?

44
00:01:54,622 --> 00:01:56,973
Plus, I thought Katie
was our babysitter now.

45
00:01:56,998 --> 00:01:59,596
Well, yeah, but this is
three school nights in a row.

46
00:01:59,621 --> 00:02:01,121
And I knew Kate would
be mad if I got a sitter,

47
00:02:01,146 --> 00:02:04,139
so I got a young, cool
one that she'd like.

48
00:02:04,141 --> 00:02:05,674
Andi, you made a rule in this house

49
00:02:05,676 --> 00:02:07,375
that we would never
hire hot babysitters.

50
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:10,178
You said, "No one above a six"

51
00:02:10,848 --> 00:02:13,048
She's a 60.

52
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:15,717
Yes, Adam, there was a
time that I didn't want

53
00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:19,087
a young, hot girl hanging
around my husband, but...

54
00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:20,800
it's fine now.

55
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:26,361
What is that supposed to mean?

56
00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:28,096
You know, we're getting older...

57
00:02:28,098 --> 00:02:30,599
Okay, don't include me in that.

58
00:02:30,601 --> 00:02:32,133
I am not getting older.

59
00:02:32,135 --> 00:02:34,703
I am maturing into a silver fox.

60
00:02:34,705 --> 00:02:36,765
Okay? And what is more attractive

61
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:39,307
to a young woman than a silver fox?

62
00:02:39,844 --> 00:02:42,110
A young, healthy fox?

63
00:02:42,649 --> 00:02:45,780
Andi, the dad and the hot babysitter?

64
00:02:45,782 --> 00:02:49,317
That's the premise of,
like, every good movie.

65
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,988
Alpha male providing for his family.

66
00:02:52,990 --> 00:02:56,291
Young minx sees that, wants that,

67
00:02:56,293 --> 00:02:58,059
decides to kill the wife

68
00:02:58,961 --> 00:03:01,463
and make new babies with Mr. Alpha.

69
00:03:01,465 --> 00:03:04,966
It's a whole aisle at the video store.

70
00:03:04,968 --> 00:03:06,268
Okay, well, I'm gonna say,

71
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:07,769
if you think there's still video stores,

72
00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:09,237
I got nothing to worry about.

73
00:03:13,010 --> 00:03:14,442
They make these babysitter movies

74
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,411
because it's a real thing.

75
00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:18,713
Let me tell you something,
I've been getting looks

76
00:03:18,715 --> 00:03:22,217
from babysitters since... I was babysat.

77
00:03:30,260 --> 00:03:33,461
She drags me to this thing
and now she's sleeping?

78
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:36,698
She is gonna pay for this.

79
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:38,742
Oh, yeah.

80
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:42,837
So, how'd it go?

81
00:03:42,839 --> 00:03:44,205
Oh, the kids were great.

82
00:03:44,207 --> 00:03:46,241
You know, I think it's
so sweet that Teddy

83
00:03:46,243 --> 00:03:49,544
wanted to sit on my lap
and get rocked to sleep.

84
00:03:52,055 --> 00:03:55,116
Not a bad move, actually.

85
00:03:55,118 --> 00:03:59,554
Well, the opera was amazing, okay?

86
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:07,429
I... feel like a
changed woman, you know?

87
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,431
All right.

88
00:04:09,532 --> 00:04:12,139
Well, we should
probably, uh, let you go.

89
00:04:12,164 --> 00:04:14,198
And, uh, listen, if something comes up

90
00:04:14,223 --> 00:04:15,514
tomorrow night, last minute,

91
00:04:15,539 --> 00:04:17,739
and you can't make it,
I'll pay you double.

92
00:04:17,741 --> 00:04:20,141
You're hilarious.

93
00:04:20,143 --> 00:04:21,365
All right, see you tomorrow.

94
00:04:21,390 --> 00:04:23,645
- Bye.
- Bye.

95
00:04:24,178 --> 00:04:26,845
Did you hear that?

96
00:04:27,150 --> 00:04:29,317
She thinks I'm hilarious.

97
00:04:29,319 --> 00:04:31,786
It's starting.

98
00:04:32,218 --> 00:04:35,056
Okay, clearly I hit a nerve,

99
00:04:35,058 --> 00:04:37,225
but, you know, don't
take it personally, honey.

100
00:04:37,227 --> 00:04:39,179
I mean, I'm getting older, too.

101
00:04:39,383 --> 00:04:40,996
The stock boy at the grocery store

102
00:04:40,998 --> 00:04:42,597
barely looks down my shirt anymore.

103
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:45,133
What stock boy? Brian?

104
00:04:45,135 --> 00:04:47,602
I bought a candy bar for
his stupid basketball team

105
00:04:47,604 --> 00:04:49,104
and he does me like this?

106
00:04:50,841 --> 00:04:52,240
Hey, where's Sophia?

107
00:04:52,242 --> 00:04:53,441
Oh, she just left.

108
00:04:53,443 --> 00:04:55,410
Ugh. I wanted to show her...

109
00:04:58,815 --> 00:05:00,281
What happened to you?

110
00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:01,883
Uh... a little culture.

111
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:04,586
She is radiant.

112
00:05:06,284 --> 00:05:08,556
Look, I just wanted to
say how awesome Sophia is.

113
00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:10,525
She's super cool and
really easy to talk to.

114
00:05:10,527 --> 00:05:13,728
Ah, I knew it. See?

115
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:18,867
I think moms are a little cooler
than you give us credit for.

116
00:05:19,612 --> 00:05:21,803
Uh, honey, you got a
little, uh, a little...

117
00:05:21,805 --> 00:05:23,338
- a little something on your...
- What? What?

118
00:05:23,340 --> 00:05:25,607
- a little something right there.
- Where?

119
00:05:26,820 --> 00:05:28,943
Adam!

120
00:05:30,447 --> 00:05:32,647
I'm not even sorry, seņor.

121
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:45,195
And then Andi basically says I'm too old

122
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:47,554
to be attractive to the hot babysitter.

123
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:51,158
That's crazy. It's the
babysitter and the dad.

124
00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,794
Has Andi never been to the video store?

125
00:05:55,451 --> 00:05:57,251
That's what I said.

126
00:05:57,276 --> 00:05:57,998
By the way,

127
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,634
there's no more video
stores. Get with it, man.

128
00:06:02,538 --> 00:06:04,089
Well, thank you for drawing

129
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,214
a semi-permanent mustache on my face.

130
00:06:07,750 --> 00:06:08,906
Kept trying to rub it off,

131
00:06:08,931 --> 00:06:11,319
but it just looked
like I was stroking it.

132
00:06:12,257 --> 00:06:14,021
Hey, you were sleeping
with your mouth open.

133
00:06:14,023 --> 00:06:16,124
You're lucky I didn't black out a tooth.

134
00:06:16,912 --> 00:06:18,770
No, you didn't do that
because I fell asleep.

135
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:19,861
You did it because of what I said

136
00:06:19,863 --> 00:06:21,129
about you and the babysitter.

137
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,030
- Oh.
- Oh, that's definitely why.

138
00:06:23,032 --> 00:06:25,299
He was just talking about it.

139
00:06:29,705 --> 00:06:31,228
Okay, well, enjoy the ballet.

140
00:06:31,253 --> 00:06:33,808
I'll just be stuck at
home watching the playoffs.

141
00:06:39,215 --> 00:06:42,120
Kate, why did you cut up your new shirt?

142
00:06:42,145 --> 00:06:44,652
Oh, Sophia said to beat
Tiffany at her own game

143
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,454
by making it cooler
than anything she wears.

144
00:06:46,456 --> 00:06:47,788
But I bought one, too.

145
00:06:47,790 --> 00:06:49,957
We were twinsies.

146
00:06:49,959 --> 00:06:51,526
Well, you're not cutting up your shirt.

147
00:06:51,528 --> 00:06:53,995
Stock Boy Brian is
getting an eyeful as it is.

148
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:57,965
Oh, and, uh, you don't have to
make dinner for me and Sophia.

149
00:06:57,967 --> 00:06:59,333
She's bringing sushi.

150
00:06:59,937 --> 00:07:01,602
But I'm always trying
to get you to eat sushi.

151
00:07:01,604 --> 00:07:03,263
You said you hate it.

152
00:07:03,288 --> 00:07:05,406
Sophia said I'd like it.

153
00:07:06,882 --> 00:07:08,576
I said you'd like it.

154
00:07:08,578 --> 00:07:10,311
But then Sophia said it.

155
00:07:13,216 --> 00:07:14,515
Did you hear that?

156
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:16,617
She's gonna try sushi for Sophia?

157
00:07:17,664 --> 00:07:21,065
Hope Sophia gets a chopstick in the eye.

158
00:07:21,550 --> 00:07:23,283
Way to rise above it.

159
00:07:26,162 --> 00:07:28,596
You smell that? What is that?

160
00:07:28,598 --> 00:07:31,098
Hey, Dad, Sophia's gonna be here soon.

161
00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:32,606
How much cologne is too much?

162
00:07:35,338 --> 00:07:37,538
You nailed it, buddy.

163
00:07:40,072 --> 00:07:41,842
I don't see why you're
so bent out of shape.

164
00:07:41,844 --> 00:07:43,578
I thought the whole
reason you hired Sophia

165
00:07:43,580 --> 00:07:45,112
was so that Katie would like her.

166
00:07:45,114 --> 00:07:46,480
It was.

167
00:07:46,482 --> 00:07:47,748
And that's what happened.

168
00:07:47,750 --> 00:07:49,750
I know.

169
00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,286
- But now you seem mad.
- Oh, I'm mad.

170
00:07:53,446 --> 00:07:54,522
Take it easy.

171
00:07:54,524 --> 00:07:56,165
I mean, I-I'd go get you a wine,

172
00:07:56,190 --> 00:07:59,227
but it's $17, and if I
go, I'm not coming back.

173
00:08:00,407 --> 00:08:02,438
You know what? Sophia needs to be told

174
00:08:02,463 --> 00:08:03,711
that there are boundaries.

175
00:08:03,736 --> 00:08:07,301
Right? And I would
like for you to do that.

176
00:08:07,303 --> 00:08:09,937
All right, I'll talk to her,
but I think you're overreacting.

177
00:08:09,939 --> 00:08:13,274
I am not. I give Kate advice, all right?

178
00:08:13,276 --> 00:08:15,476
Not some hotsy-totsy babysitter.

179
00:08:15,478 --> 00:08:18,246
All right, her only job
is to heat up Hot Pockets,

180
00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:20,848
give Teddy some cheap
thrills and get out.

181
00:08:23,653 --> 00:08:26,487
What? We're not ballet people.

182
00:08:30,463 --> 00:08:31,243
Hey.

183
00:08:31,268 --> 00:08:32,393
How was night two?

184
00:08:32,395 --> 00:08:35,429
Better, yeah. We both fell asleep.

185
00:08:37,205 --> 00:08:39,433
Kate, you're still up
gabbing with your gal pal.

186
00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:42,503
That's great. I love to
see you two getting along.

187
00:08:43,506 --> 00:08:44,705
Adam.

188
00:08:44,707 --> 00:08:45,840
What?

189
00:08:45,842 --> 00:08:46,874
Adam.

190
00:08:46,876 --> 00:08:47,842
What?

191
00:08:47,844 --> 00:08:49,210
Adam.

192
00:08:49,471 --> 00:08:50,678
Am I not saying, "What?"

193
00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:52,947
I hear myself saying, "What?"

194
00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:55,916
Oh, my God, we are having such a blast.

195
00:08:55,918 --> 00:08:57,818
Sophia Instagrammed a
picture of my new top

196
00:08:57,820 --> 00:08:59,287
and everyone liked it.

197
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,455
So, Tiffany had to. It
was total domination.

198
00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:03,257
Mm-hmm. We owned her.

199
00:09:03,259 --> 00:09:05,426
Give it up, girl.

200
00:09:07,263 --> 00:09:10,398
I love the new secret
handshake, and I...

201
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,333
and-and I-I'm glad that Sophia's advice

202
00:09:12,335 --> 00:09:14,035
worked out for you. Adam!

203
00:09:14,037 --> 00:09:16,404
Oh! Okay, okay. I gotcha, I gotcha.

204
00:09:16,406 --> 00:09:18,272
Uh, come on, honey. Let's
get you to bed. Come on.

205
00:09:18,274 --> 00:09:19,373
See you tomorrow.

206
00:09:19,375 --> 00:09:20,608
Can't wait.

207
00:09:20,610 --> 00:09:23,944
Okay, keep it moving.

208
00:09:23,946 --> 00:09:25,613
All righty, here you go.

209
00:09:25,615 --> 00:09:27,782
Thank you.

210
00:09:29,188 --> 00:09:31,152
Uh, actually, uh, now that we're alone,

211
00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:34,288
we need to have a talk about boundaries.

212
00:09:34,290 --> 00:09:36,357
The wife's a little upset.

213
00:09:37,068 --> 00:09:38,559
Oh.

214
00:09:38,584 --> 00:09:40,161
Well, then, I guess I'll just have

215
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:42,496
to try to behave myself around you.

216
00:09:46,428 --> 00:09:48,713
Wh-Who? Me?

217
00:09:48,738 --> 00:09:50,271
Me, me?

218
00:09:51,780 --> 00:09:52,973
You know what I mean.

219
00:09:54,297 --> 00:09:55,609
I knew it!

220
00:09:55,884 --> 00:09:57,452
Oh, my gosh.

221
00:09:57,477 --> 00:09:59,080
You are just ridiculous.

222
00:09:59,936 --> 00:10:01,419
O-Okay.

223
00:10:01,444 --> 00:10:03,249
Yeah, well, you...

224
00:10:03,274 --> 00:10:07,421
That's, uh, that's me, ridiculous. Okay.

225
00:10:08,864 --> 00:10:10,429
See you tomorrow.

226
00:10:12,509 --> 00:10:14,290
Yeah.

227
00:10:14,315 --> 00:10:15,848
Buh-bye.

228
00:10:28,936 --> 00:10:30,850
The silver fox.

229
00:10:40,496 --> 00:10:42,790
So, did you talk to Sophia
about the boundaries?

230
00:10:42,792 --> 00:10:45,192
Oh, I did. And what I learned is,

231
00:10:45,194 --> 00:10:48,262
there is no boundary
strong enough to protect her

232
00:10:48,264 --> 00:10:51,899
from my overwhelming silver foxiness.

233
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,596
What?

234
00:10:53,721 --> 00:10:55,770
Okay, so what exactly happened?

235
00:10:55,772 --> 00:10:57,805
She said, and I quote,

236
00:10:57,807 --> 00:11:01,175
"Oh, my gosh, you are just ridiculous."

237
00:11:04,147 --> 00:11:06,624
Is this the intermission,
or is that the whole story?

238
00:11:07,335 --> 00:11:08,716
Okay, how about this?

239
00:11:08,718 --> 00:11:11,485
When she was leaving, she
said, "See you tomorrow."

240
00:11:11,487 --> 00:11:14,688
And her eyebrows were going
all over her face, like this.

241
00:11:15,491 --> 00:11:17,792
Okay, Adam, I believe

242
00:11:17,794 --> 00:11:20,223
that you believe something happened.

243
00:11:20,248 --> 00:11:23,431
I'm telling you, this girl is
well on her way to killing you

244
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,599
and making me give her babies.

245
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:27,301
I'm gonna roll the dice on that one.

246
00:11:27,303 --> 00:11:29,470
Fine.

247
00:11:29,472 --> 00:11:31,472
But when you're a ghost
floating over the bed,

248
00:11:31,474 --> 00:11:34,008
watching us make
babies, you'll be sorry!

249
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:38,780
Andi doesn't believe me,

250
00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:40,282
but I'm telling you, I was getting

251
00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:42,063
major vibes from the babysitter.

252
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:44,218
She was eye-snacking me.

253
00:11:45,654 --> 00:11:47,321
All the ladies love Adam.

254
00:11:47,323 --> 00:11:49,490
I went to froyo with him, and
the girl behind the counter

255
00:11:49,492 --> 00:11:52,626
upgraded him to a
waffle cone, no charge.

256
00:11:53,929 --> 00:11:56,597
She wouldn't even give me a water cup.

257
00:11:57,867 --> 00:11:59,666
Enjoy your youth, son.

258
00:11:59,863 --> 00:12:03,065
I used to be a porch light
for every moth in town.

259
00:12:04,073 --> 00:12:06,340
I think this whole thing is a sign

260
00:12:06,342 --> 00:12:09,910
that Andi and I are getting
complacent in our marriage.

261
00:12:09,912 --> 00:12:13,547
I drew a mustache on my own wife
like she was a drinking buddy.

262
00:12:14,750 --> 00:12:16,483
I wouldn't have done
that five years ago.

263
00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:18,244
Well, I don't know, everybody says

264
00:12:18,269 --> 00:12:19,971
the best time in a
marriage is when you get

265
00:12:19,996 --> 00:12:21,455
really comfortable with each other.

266
00:12:21,457 --> 00:12:23,390
Well, everybody is wrong.

267
00:12:24,041 --> 00:12:25,859
Okay. You know what every
marriage really needs?

268
00:12:25,861 --> 00:12:28,929
- Trust?
- Trust? No. Gross.

269
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,565
No, the thing that
keeps the romance alive

270
00:12:31,567 --> 00:12:33,325
in a marriage is fear.

271
00:12:33,583 --> 00:12:35,736
Both people need to think
they got someone better

272
00:12:35,738 --> 00:12:38,705
than they deserve, so they
bust their butts to hang on.

273
00:12:38,707 --> 00:12:42,309
Fear is the... the special sauce.

274
00:12:42,311 --> 00:12:44,178
Fear, huh?

275
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,913
Now, does this special sauce work

276
00:12:45,915 --> 00:12:47,848
if only the husband is scared?

277
00:12:49,296 --> 00:12:51,129
I'm asking for a friend.

278
00:12:54,089 --> 00:12:58,692
Honey, I want to apologize
for the jazz poetry.

279
00:12:59,449 --> 00:13:02,339
Yeah, why would anyone put those
two terrible things together?

280
00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:05,365
It's like getting a root
canal during a colonoscopy.

281
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:07,611
That's funny.

282
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:10,385
I'm... You know, I'm
afraid to even go in there.

283
00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:12,873
I mean, if Kate and Sophia
have another new handshake,

284
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:15,108
I'm gonna start pulling hair.

285
00:13:15,110 --> 00:13:17,611
Andi, the big deal isn't what
Sophia's doing with Katie,

286
00:13:17,613 --> 00:13:19,746
it's what Sophia wants
to do with Mr. Alpha.

287
00:13:19,748 --> 00:13:21,148
And I'm gonna prove it to you.

288
00:13:21,150 --> 00:13:22,616
So, buckle up, I am about to go

289
00:13:22,618 --> 00:13:24,318
full silver fox on the babysitter.

290
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:28,755
Wait. Are you the silver
fox or are you Mr. Alpha?

291
00:13:29,692 --> 00:13:31,792
I'm alpha silver fox.

292
00:13:31,794 --> 00:13:33,660
This is for you, baby, okay?

293
00:13:33,662 --> 00:13:35,028
- No, Adam, wait.
- No, no.

294
00:13:35,030 --> 00:13:37,397
You just watch her eyebrows.
They tell the whole story.

295
00:13:39,708 --> 00:13:40,767
Hey.

296
00:13:40,769 --> 00:13:42,769
You survived jazz poetry. How was it?

297
00:13:42,771 --> 00:13:46,473
Ugh. It was like getting a
root canal during a colonoscopy.

298
00:13:48,416 --> 00:13:51,345
A colonoscopy. I think
my dad had one of those.

299
00:13:52,948 --> 00:13:54,515
Okay, why don't we just, uh, pay Sophia

300
00:13:54,517 --> 00:13:56,016
and let her go on her way?

301
00:13:56,018 --> 00:13:58,418
Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure.
But first, let me just,

302
00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:00,554
uh, get this jacket
off... It's so tight.

303
00:14:02,157 --> 00:14:03,924
When you swing a hammer for a living,

304
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:05,692
everything gets bigger and stronger...

305
00:14:08,664 --> 00:14:10,067
Adam, you really don't have to do this.

306
00:14:10,092 --> 00:14:11,612
No, no, no. Open the window.

307
00:14:11,637 --> 00:14:13,688
I'm about to turn up the heat.

308
00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:16,878
Oh, hey, Sophia,

309
00:14:16,903 --> 00:14:17,771
look at that.

310
00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:19,473
Emme left her doll on the floor.

311
00:14:19,475 --> 00:14:20,941
I'll-I'll get it.

312
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:23,936
I guess I'll just bend
over... Probably the best way.

313
00:14:36,158 --> 00:14:40,060
Okay. Okay, Magic Mike, show's over.

314
00:14:41,567 --> 00:14:42,706
Hey, my roommate

315
00:14:42,731 --> 00:14:44,298
just texted me and said
that she can't pick me up.

316
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,158
Is there any way I
could catch a ride home?

317
00:14:46,183 --> 00:14:48,450
Oh, yeah, sure. Adam can take you.

318
00:14:50,238 --> 00:14:51,938
For what it's worth, I liked your moves.

319
00:14:54,151 --> 00:14:54,942
Night.

320
00:14:54,944 --> 00:14:56,243
Night.

321
00:14:58,847 --> 00:15:00,380
What are you doing to me?

322
00:15:00,382 --> 00:15:02,849
I was dying when you were
showing off your arms.

323
00:15:03,922 --> 00:15:05,780
What? Where were the eyebrows?

324
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:07,988
You were in a coma over there.

325
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,189
You talked to me about boundaries,

326
00:15:09,191 --> 00:15:10,424
and your wife was right there.

327
00:15:10,426 --> 00:15:11,453
Well...

328
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:13,484
But she won't be on the ride home.

329
00:15:13,509 --> 00:15:17,064
It'll just be you and me and those arms.

330
00:15:17,866 --> 00:15:18,999
I'll be waiting in the car.

331
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:20,667
Okay.

332
00:15:24,873 --> 00:15:27,307
Uh-oh.

333
00:15:27,832 --> 00:15:30,099
I was too sexy.

334
00:15:32,957 --> 00:15:35,048
I need a Tums.

335
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,218
Andi, you need to come downstairs now.

336
00:15:38,220 --> 00:15:41,584
- What's wrong?
- Alpha silver fox is being hunted!

337
00:15:45,594 --> 00:15:47,828
There's been an escalation.

338
00:15:47,830 --> 00:15:50,397
Sophia is gonna jump me in the car.

339
00:15:50,399 --> 00:15:52,099
You have to drive her home.

340
00:15:52,101 --> 00:15:54,468
What? Adam, I...

341
00:15:55,824 --> 00:15:58,338
Oh, I know what this is.

342
00:15:59,020 --> 00:16:00,907
You're having a midlife crisis.

343
00:16:00,909 --> 00:16:03,410
No, no, no. That's not it.

344
00:16:03,412 --> 00:16:05,078
No, it happens to everyone, okay?

345
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,514
We just have to cheer you
up. Do you want a tattoo?

346
00:16:09,392 --> 00:16:11,618
Or a Jet Ski? Hmm?

347
00:16:11,620 --> 00:16:14,254
I don't get it. I-I'm telling
you this girl's into me,

348
00:16:14,256 --> 00:16:16,390
and you're sending me off
into the night with her.

349
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:18,592
Meanwhile, Katie tries sushi,

350
00:16:18,594 --> 00:16:21,595
and you get jealous and make
me have talks about boundaries.

351
00:16:21,597 --> 00:16:24,031
Let me tell you something,
Katie is 15 years old.

352
00:16:24,033 --> 00:16:26,051
It's normal for her to ignore her mother

353
00:16:26,076 --> 00:16:27,575
and take advice from a friend.

354
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,236
Did you listen to your
mother when you were 15?

355
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:32,659
Oh, hell no. I'd still have a perm.

356
00:16:32,684 --> 00:16:35,642
Exactly. And that's
normal. And thank God.

357
00:16:35,644 --> 00:16:36,576
Yeah.

358
00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:38,011
But what's not normal is

359
00:16:38,013 --> 00:16:40,047
we are losing our special sauce.

360
00:16:40,049 --> 00:16:41,081
Our special what?

361
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:44,051
Special sauce, Andi! Our special sauce!

362
00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,688
If I tell you a girl
is making moves on me,

363
00:16:47,690 --> 00:16:49,523
you should care.

364
00:16:51,326 --> 00:16:52,993
You're right.

365
00:16:52,995 --> 00:16:55,228
Thank you.

366
00:16:55,230 --> 00:16:57,164
I did overreact about Kate.

367
00:16:59,564 --> 00:17:01,008
Are you kidding me?

368
00:17:01,033 --> 00:17:03,025
Fine. I'll drive her home,

369
00:17:03,050 --> 00:17:05,939
but I am not responsible
for what happens.

370
00:17:09,736 --> 00:17:11,344
I'm not doing it!

371
00:17:15,565 --> 00:17:17,165
So, Sophia,

372
00:17:17,190 --> 00:17:20,024
last couple days, I've
been feeling a little...

373
00:17:20,049 --> 00:17:21,321
jealous.

374
00:17:22,252 --> 00:17:23,790
Uh-oh.

375
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:26,026
And I know you had a conversation

376
00:17:26,028 --> 00:17:28,435
with my husband about boundaries.

377
00:17:28,460 --> 00:17:29,695
He told you about that?

378
00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:32,532
No, no, no, no, no. I-I
just wanted to tell you,

379
00:17:32,713 --> 00:17:33,946
I'm cool with it.

380
00:17:34,538 --> 00:17:36,670
Yeah, I mean, if it
works for the two of you,

381
00:17:36,672 --> 00:17:38,038
works for me.

382
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:40,240
Wow.

383
00:17:40,411 --> 00:17:42,275
You're very open-minded.

384
00:17:42,277 --> 00:17:43,710
I know.

385
00:17:44,450 --> 00:17:45,779
In fact, I mean,

386
00:17:45,781 --> 00:17:47,948
I don't want to intrude, but, um,

387
00:17:47,950 --> 00:17:50,450
it would be great if
sometime all three of us

388
00:17:50,452 --> 00:17:53,135
could be together while
you're doing your thing.

389
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,856
You know, maybe I could
pick up some new tricks.

390
00:17:55,858 --> 00:17:59,426
I've never done that before,
but the more the merrier, I say.

391
00:17:59,428 --> 00:18:01,862
That's the spirit.

392
00:18:01,864 --> 00:18:03,964
We're gonna have some fun, Sophia.

393
00:18:03,966 --> 00:18:06,733
Yeah, most wives aren't this
open to sharing their husbands.

394
00:18:06,735 --> 00:18:08,235
Well, yeah, you know...

395
00:18:08,237 --> 00:18:09,469
What now?

396
00:18:11,218 --> 00:18:13,006
You're leaving me at the police station?

397
00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:15,271
I was gonna leave you
by the side of the road,

398
00:18:15,296 --> 00:18:17,414
but I'm a mother, and I
wanted you to get home safe.

399
00:18:17,439 --> 00:18:18,879
And you know what, I'll tell you this.

400
00:18:18,881 --> 00:18:20,814
I don't need any help in
the bedroom, all right?

401
00:18:20,816 --> 00:18:23,984
I have been having sex
longer than you've been alive.

402
00:18:25,908 --> 00:18:28,321
And I should've stopped
talking, but I still win!

403
00:18:28,323 --> 00:18:30,557
What...?

404
00:18:30,972 --> 00:18:32,869
And then, I just got crazy jealous,

405
00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:34,510
and I left her at the police station.

406
00:18:34,535 --> 00:18:37,330
Ah, there's the special sauce.

407
00:18:38,472 --> 00:18:40,099
Huh?

408
00:18:40,124 --> 00:18:42,090
Oh.

409
00:18:42,128 --> 00:18:44,001
Now, you were saying there was some talk

410
00:18:44,026 --> 00:18:46,540
about some kind of group thing?

411
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:51,344
That's crazy. Right?

412
00:18:53,982 --> 00:18:55,515
Yes, it's crazy.

413
00:18:55,517 --> 00:18:58,285
That's what I said. I
didn't say anything else.

414
00:18:59,588 --> 00:19:01,188
I guess the really good news is

415
00:19:01,190 --> 00:19:05,058
that I'm married to
the silver alpha fox.

416
00:19:05,754 --> 00:19:08,012
That's all I wanted to hear.

417
00:19:10,766 --> 00:19:13,500
By the way, it's "alpha silver fox."

418
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:20,968
Get this. Sophia's Instagram
idea made Tiffany totally mad.

419
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,845
Now she's having a party
and just posted a list

420
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:25,136
of who's not invited... look.

421
00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:28,740
"Not invited list: O.J. Simpson,

422
00:19:29,371 --> 00:19:31,209
a ball of rats, Katie Burns."

423
00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:35,080
Ooh. That's not a
list you want to be on.

424
00:19:35,082 --> 00:19:37,048
Sophia's plan totally backfired.

425
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:42,721
Mom, what am I gonna do?

426
00:19:43,517 --> 00:19:46,458
Aw. I'm so glad you asked.

427
00:19:46,725 --> 00:19:49,826
Okay... but first,
l-let's do the thing.

428
00:19:51,453 --> 00:19:52,764
Seriously?

429
00:19:52,766 --> 00:19:55,000
Do the thing with your mother.

430
00:19:57,818 --> 00:20:00,151
Now we're handshake twinsies.

431
00:20:00,641 --> 00:20:02,574
Listen, it just so happens

432
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:05,877
that the night of the
party, Lady Gaga's in town.

433
00:20:05,879 --> 00:20:07,879
So, what do you say we go to that

434
00:20:07,881 --> 00:20:09,514
and Instagram the heck out of it?

435
00:20:10,195 --> 00:20:12,262
I'm so down!

436
00:20:13,687 --> 00:20:16,388
Oh, and you don't have to
worry about Sophia anymore.

437
00:20:16,390 --> 00:20:18,256
You will never see her again.

438
00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:19,791
Really? What happened?

439
00:20:19,793 --> 00:20:22,427
She hit on your dad.

440
00:20:28,201 --> 00:20:30,035
Gross.

441
00:20:30,037 --> 00:20:31,870
She's, like, a hundred
years younger than you.

442
00:20:38,917 --> 00:20:41,643
- I would like the Jet Ski to be red.
- Okay.

443
00:20:43,228 --> 00:20:48,228
Synced and corrected by Octavia 
- www.addic7ed.com -