1
00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:05,912
There's my sexy gardener.

2
00:00:05,914 --> 00:00:07,246
Yeah.

3
00:00:07,248 --> 00:00:09,215
I like you in those little green gloves.

4
00:00:09,217 --> 00:00:10,650
Oh, these old things?

5
00:00:11,753 --> 00:00:13,486
Just something I threw on.

6
00:00:13,488 --> 00:00:15,221
I'd already be done if you let me

7
00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:17,023
use that weed killer in the garage.

8
00:00:17,025 --> 00:00:18,858
I'm being punished just
because Teddy used to...

9
00:00:18,860 --> 00:00:22,929
and I repeat, used
to... lick the shrubs.

10
00:00:22,931 --> 00:00:24,730
Okay, well, everything's
looking good inside.

11
00:00:24,732 --> 00:00:27,333
The kids are cleaning their
rooms, I got the laundry done.

12
00:00:27,335 --> 00:00:30,603
Now, I just have to figure out
what that smell upstairs is.

13
00:00:30,605 --> 00:00:31,827
I smelled that, too.

14
00:00:31,852 --> 00:00:33,306
I didn't say anything
because I love you,

15
00:00:33,308 --> 00:00:35,408
and I thought it was you.

16
00:00:37,530 --> 00:00:38,945
Hey!

17
00:00:38,947 --> 00:00:41,147
That came from Teddy's window.

18
00:00:43,618 --> 00:00:46,052
It's like a Dumpster back here.

19
00:00:46,054 --> 00:00:48,287
Well, now we know how
he cleans his room.

20
00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:52,395
And where the Funyuns went.

21
00:00:53,795 --> 00:00:55,428
- I'm sorry I blamed you. 
- Mm-hmm.

22
00:00:57,332 --> 00:00:58,664
Throwing trash out the window?

23
00:00:58,666 --> 00:01:00,800
He gets that from your
side of the family.

24
00:01:02,469 --> 00:01:03,740
Don't overreact.

25
00:01:03,765 --> 00:01:04,998
I am not overreacting.

26
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:06,500
I am reacting.

27
00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:09,575
Okay, but-but you got to
admit, for the most part,

28
00:01:09,577 --> 00:01:13,279
our-our kids are pretty darn adequate.

29
00:01:14,586 --> 00:01:15,911
I mean, they brush their teeth.

30
00:01:15,936 --> 00:01:18,017
- Emme doesn't. 
- They-they do well in school.

31
00:01:18,019 --> 00:01:19,585
Teddy doesn't.

32
00:01:20,583 --> 00:01:21,487
They still hug us.

33
00:01:21,489 --> 00:01:22,888
Katie doesn't.

34
00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:26,726
Okay, well, Kate puts "XO"
at the end of her texts.

35
00:01:26,728 --> 00:01:28,894
That's a kiss and a hug.

36
00:01:28,896 --> 00:01:30,363
Yeah. To a robot.

37
00:01:30,823 --> 00:01:32,832
Okay, look. Look-look...
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

38
00:01:32,834 --> 00:01:34,800
My-my parenting book says

39
00:01:34,802 --> 00:01:37,403
that the most effective
form of discipline

40
00:01:37,405 --> 00:01:39,505
if often just listening.

41
00:01:39,530 --> 00:01:41,077
Mm-hmm. I hate that book.

42
00:01:42,110 --> 00:01:43,409
Okay? I've hated it ever since it said

43
00:01:43,411 --> 00:01:45,311
we should make our own baby food.

44
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:49,382
Please, please, just this
once, can we do it my way?

45
00:01:49,829 --> 00:01:51,484
Your way is to just yell.

46
00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:54,220
Yeah. And thanks to my
dad, I'm really good at it.

47
00:01:56,023 --> 00:01:57,690
Look, I think that we
should stick with my way,

48
00:01:57,692 --> 00:01:58,758
the book's way.

49
00:01:58,760 --> 00:01:59,825
Let's just hear

50
00:01:59,827 --> 00:02:01,527
Teddy's side of the story.

51
00:02:01,529 --> 00:02:03,785
You always want to hear the kids' side.

52
00:02:03,810 --> 00:02:05,650
I could tell you right now: their side

53
00:02:05,675 --> 00:02:07,675
is they're lazy boneheads.

54
00:02:08,736 --> 00:02:11,003
I'm just saying that
there might be a problem

55
00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:12,638
behind the problem.

56
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:15,007
Okay, the problem is they're lazy.

57
00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:19,445
The problem behind the
problem is they're boneheads.

58
00:02:21,646 --> 00:02:24,617
Teddy, why would you
dump trash out the window?

59
00:02:24,619 --> 00:02:26,452
Why do you put the caps
from your beer bottles

60
00:02:26,454 --> 00:02:27,664
behind the couch pillow?

61
00:02:28,677 --> 00:02:30,222
I just...

62
00:02:30,755 --> 00:02:32,425
I get sleepy.

63
00:02:33,823 --> 00:02:34,822
You smell that?

64
00:02:36,064 --> 00:02:37,596
Is that the smell?

65
00:02:38,866 --> 00:02:40,690
I think that's just boy.

66
00:02:41,839 --> 00:02:44,727
You know, you get an allowance
to keep your room clean.

67
00:02:44,752 --> 00:02:47,440
And that includes taking
your trash outside.

68
00:02:47,442 --> 00:02:50,376
My room is clean, and
the trash is outside.

69
00:02:53,281 --> 00:02:55,381
Can I overreact now?

70
00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:57,750
Whoa, whoa. Before you pop a vein,

71
00:02:57,752 --> 00:02:59,885
you might want to see
what's in Emme's closet.

72
00:03:01,968 --> 00:03:04,990
Hi, Emme, we just need to
check your closet real quick.

73
00:03:04,992 --> 00:03:06,459
You smell that?

74
00:03:06,461 --> 00:03:07,960
Is that the smell?

75
00:03:07,962 --> 00:03:10,129
It's at least part of the smell.

76
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:13,999
Whoa! It hits you right in the face.

77
00:03:14,559 --> 00:03:18,003
I think we just found the house's butt.

78
00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:21,440
Emme, what is in your shoe organizer?

79
00:03:21,442 --> 00:03:23,576
Is that broccoli?

80
00:03:24,151 --> 00:03:25,707
Yes, it is.

81
00:03:27,181 --> 00:03:30,049
I put it in there so you think I ate it.

82
00:03:30,051 --> 00:03:33,509
Honey, keeping your room
clean and eating your broccoli

83
00:03:33,534 --> 00:03:34,453
are the two things

84
00:03:34,455 --> 00:03:36,422
you're supposed to
do for your allowance.

85
00:03:36,424 --> 00:03:37,757
I don't like broccoli.

86
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:40,862
You make me eat it,
this is what happens.

87
00:03:43,331 --> 00:03:45,531
This is very, very bad, Emme.

88
00:03:45,533 --> 00:03:49,001
It's not as bad as
what's in Kate's room.

89
00:03:50,322 --> 00:03:51,904
Well, I say we board that closet up

90
00:03:51,906 --> 00:03:54,830
like a portal to hell and
never speak of this again.

91
00:03:55,705 --> 00:03:57,409
How did we not know about this sooner?

92
00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:59,245
Well, we don't go in there that much.

93
00:03:59,247 --> 00:04:01,914
Look, the kids get an allowance
to keep their rooms clean.

94
00:04:01,916 --> 00:04:04,319
The book says it's supposed
to foster responsibility.

95
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:07,019
The only thing it's
fostering is botulism.

96
00:04:07,616 --> 00:04:09,565
Stop listening to that book.

97
00:04:09,590 --> 00:04:11,957
You agreed it had good ideas.

98
00:04:11,982 --> 00:04:13,892
I only agreed because you
asked me when we were in bed,

99
00:04:13,917 --> 00:04:15,828
and I wanted to fool around.

100
00:04:15,830 --> 00:04:18,030
Yeah, that's how I get
you to agree to things.

101
00:04:18,563 --> 00:04:20,633
That's your allowance.

102
00:04:20,930 --> 00:04:22,668
- You're no fool.
- Hmm.

103
00:04:22,670 --> 00:04:25,070
Well, all right. Let's see
what's behind door number three.

104
00:04:25,072 --> 00:04:26,972
Hmm.

105
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:31,686
Looks okay to me.

106
00:04:31,711 --> 00:04:32,545
Wait.

107
00:04:32,547 --> 00:04:34,313
I smell more smell.

108
00:04:34,711 --> 00:04:36,315
A lot more smell.

109
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:42,555
It's not me.

110
00:04:42,557 --> 00:04:44,223
No, it's not me.

111
00:04:45,927 --> 00:04:47,426
Oh!

112
00:04:47,428 --> 00:04:48,761
The bed's wet.

113
00:04:48,763 --> 00:04:50,529
Katie's a bed wetter?

114
00:04:50,531 --> 00:04:53,599
That means therapy.
That'll cost a fortune.

115
00:04:53,940 --> 00:04:54,891
Well...

116
00:04:54,916 --> 00:04:57,503
smell the bedspread and see.

117
00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:59,004
Uh, you smell it.

118
00:04:59,820 --> 00:05:02,508
Just, go-go and check and
see what's under there.

119
00:05:06,013 --> 00:05:09,148
Oh, it's old, moldy towels.

120
00:05:09,150 --> 00:05:10,783
- Ugh.
- Yep, that's the smell.

121
00:05:10,785 --> 00:05:12,952
That's the rest of the smell.

122
00:05:12,954 --> 00:05:15,187
Ooh, check this one out.

123
00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:18,090
That's the queen of the hive.

124
00:05:19,961 --> 00:05:21,360
What are you doing?

125
00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:24,430
Right now? Wondering
where it all went wrong.

126
00:05:24,784 --> 00:05:26,632
Why are your old, wet shower towels

127
00:05:26,634 --> 00:05:27,833
at the bottom of your bed?

128
00:05:27,835 --> 00:05:29,335
Oh. Every night, I get in bed

129
00:05:29,337 --> 00:05:31,103
with a towel on my hair.
Eventually, it falls off,

130
00:05:31,105 --> 00:05:32,438
and I just kick it to the bottom.

131
00:05:32,987 --> 00:05:35,040
And you never change your sheets?

132
00:05:35,042 --> 00:05:37,286
I thought you just changed
them every seven years.

133
00:05:38,149 --> 00:05:39,922
That's the mattress, Kate.

134
00:05:40,328 --> 00:05:41,399
Look, we give you

135
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,249
an allowance to keep your room clean.

136
00:05:43,251 --> 00:05:45,514
Well, now we know where
all our towels went.

137
00:05:45,539 --> 00:05:46,619
This morning, I had to dry off

138
00:05:46,621 --> 00:05:49,121
by running around the house like a dog.

139
00:05:49,779 --> 00:05:51,624
I mean, how can you not smell that?

140
00:05:51,626 --> 00:05:53,259
I smell it.

141
00:05:53,261 --> 00:05:54,349
I'm just used to it.

142
00:05:54,374 --> 00:05:56,374
Got good to me.

143
00:05:57,865 --> 00:06:01,367
Well, at least I won't
have to pay for a wedding.

144
00:06:01,392 --> 00:06:03,815
Look, I'm not the only one doing stuff.

145
00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:05,371
Do you know what Teddy
does with his trash?

146
00:06:05,373 --> 00:06:06,410
Yes, we do.

147
00:06:06,435 --> 00:06:08,202
- How about Emme's closet?
- Seen it all.

148
00:06:08,376 --> 00:06:09,775
Dad's beer caps?

149
00:06:09,777 --> 00:06:11,610
You're not getting out of this, Katie.

150
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:28,703
Seriously?

151
00:06:28,705 --> 00:06:30,204
The parenting book again?

152
00:06:30,206 --> 00:06:32,306
Is the last chapter just
a picture of the author

153
00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:34,875
sitting on a pile of
money, laughing at us?

154
00:06:35,445 --> 00:06:37,945
She's a renowned childcare expert.

155
00:06:37,947 --> 00:06:39,714
Hey... wait, wait, listen to this.

156
00:06:39,716 --> 00:06:41,949
Uh, "About the Author.

157
00:06:42,273 --> 00:06:44,880
"Nancy is... single,

158
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,938
and lives in Maine with
her beloved parakeet."

159
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,339
What?

160
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:51,890
Wait, she doesn't even have kids?

161
00:06:51,915 --> 00:06:55,079
That's why she doesn't know you
can buy baby food at the store.

162
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:58,182
I liquefied a perfectly
good salmon thanks to her.

163
00:06:58,184 --> 00:06:59,751
I can't believe this.

164
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,763
I mean, uh, for 14 years,
this has been, like,

165
00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:04,199
my-my parenting bible.

166
00:07:05,163 --> 00:07:07,492
I hope her bird flies
into a ceiling fan.

167
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,417
You know what?

168
00:07:10,442 --> 00:07:12,115
You're in charge now. Yeah.

169
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,446
Let's go Full Metal Jacket.

170
00:07:13,471 --> 00:07:14,507
Yeah?

171
00:07:14,509 --> 00:07:16,342
That's what I'm talking about.

172
00:07:16,743 --> 00:07:18,743
It's time to drop an Adam bomb.

173
00:07:18,768 --> 00:07:20,346
Get it? 'Cause my name's Adam?

174
00:07:20,348 --> 00:07:21,784
Yeah, no. I got it.

175
00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:24,050
Yeah. Oh, I've been wanting
to use that for so long.

176
00:07:24,953 --> 00:07:26,786
Come on.

177
00:07:26,788 --> 00:07:28,621
All right. Listen up.

178
00:07:28,623 --> 00:07:30,957
There's gonna be some
changes around here.

179
00:07:30,959 --> 00:07:32,558
Yeah. You're supposed
to handle your rooms,

180
00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:33,826
we handle everything else.

181
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:36,836
But you blew it, so now, you get this.

182
00:07:37,198 --> 00:07:39,016
It's all you, A-Bomb.

183
00:07:41,203 --> 00:07:42,008
All right.

184
00:07:42,033 --> 00:07:44,704
From now on, if you
don't do your chores,

185
00:07:44,706 --> 00:07:45,872
you don't get your allowance.

186
00:07:45,874 --> 00:07:47,273
Not one cent.

187
00:07:53,481 --> 00:07:55,948
That was a bomb noise, kids.

188
00:07:56,451 --> 00:07:57,216
Which means

189
00:07:57,218 --> 00:07:59,018
you can't go the mall and buy yo-yos

190
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:02,788
and slingshots and blacklight posters.

191
00:08:04,252 --> 00:08:06,452
I haven't been to a mall in a while.

192
00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:10,517
We'd like a moment to discuss.

193
00:08:10,542 --> 00:08:11,797
What? What are you
talk... What do you mean?

194
00:08:11,799 --> 00:08:13,866
There's no discussing.

195
00:08:14,469 --> 00:08:17,003
You just got flattened by a bomb!

196
00:08:17,005 --> 00:08:19,472
Okay. Here's what we do: nothing.

197
00:08:19,474 --> 00:08:21,874
If we give in now,
our free ride is over.

198
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:23,309
But won't they get mad?

199
00:08:24,117 --> 00:08:25,592
Look, you.

200
00:08:26,514 --> 00:08:29,248
I've been lowering their
expectations for years.

201
00:08:30,418 --> 00:08:33,486
I will not let you mess it up for me.

202
00:08:33,488 --> 00:08:34,687
Capisce?

203
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,181
What does that mean?

204
00:08:38,467 --> 00:08:39,926
"Understand"?

205
00:08:39,928 --> 00:08:42,962
How can I understand if you
won't tell me what it means?

206
00:08:44,409 --> 00:08:47,543
Teddy, just do what she says.

207
00:08:50,381 --> 00:08:52,738
So, we've discussed your offer.

208
00:08:52,763 --> 00:08:54,140
Take it or leave it.

209
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:55,775
We've decided to leave it.

210
00:08:55,777 --> 00:08:58,077
What? No, there's no leaving
it. You have to take it.

211
00:08:58,702 --> 00:09:02,315
Look, we know you love us too
much to stop giving us money.

212
00:09:03,882 --> 00:09:05,952
You're good people.

213
00:09:06,619 --> 00:09:08,454
Nuh-uh.

214
00:09:08,830 --> 00:09:12,049
We do... do good people
watch Breaking Bad? Hmm?

215
00:09:13,895 --> 00:09:16,996
Yeah. 'Cause we watched one.

216
00:09:18,466 --> 00:09:20,433
It's a gamble we're willing to take.

217
00:09:21,336 --> 00:09:23,559
So, we're going on strike.

218
00:09:23,584 --> 00:09:25,070
Capisce?

219
00:09:29,177 --> 00:09:32,278
Did he just capisce me?

220
00:09:36,168 --> 00:09:37,701
Nothing.

221
00:09:40,192 --> 00:09:41,675
You took away their allowance

222
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:43,066
and they still won't do their chores?

223
00:09:43,091 --> 00:09:43,840
Yeah.

224
00:09:43,865 --> 00:09:45,124
So guess who had to make their beds

225
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:46,959
and take out their trash?

226
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,260
Andi.

227
00:09:48,959 --> 00:09:50,816
And that put her in a bad mood,

228
00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:52,498
which put me in a bad mood.

229
00:09:53,443 --> 00:09:54,834
I guess now's not the time to tell you

230
00:09:54,836 --> 00:09:57,903
I lightly rear-ended you when
I was parking this morning.

231
00:09:59,574 --> 00:10:01,340
No, it's not.

232
00:10:01,342 --> 00:10:02,942
Okay. We'll put a pin in it.

233
00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:06,946
Kids are terrible at chores anyway.

234
00:10:06,948 --> 00:10:09,015
Little hands can't fold
towels the way I like.

235
00:10:09,017 --> 00:10:11,283
It's fold, fold, flipsy, flopsy.

236
00:10:11,285 --> 00:10:13,252
That's a man's job.

237
00:10:14,309 --> 00:10:16,422
It's a symptom of a bigger problem.

238
00:10:16,424 --> 00:10:18,464
We've lost our authority.

239
00:10:18,489 --> 00:10:20,993
When we were kids, our
parents had the power.

240
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:23,896
But now that we're parents,
the kids have the power.

241
00:10:23,898 --> 00:10:26,365
We've never had the power.

242
00:10:27,010 --> 00:10:29,479
I think it all started
with sugary cereal.

243
00:10:30,072 --> 00:10:31,203
All we got for breakfast

244
00:10:31,205 --> 00:10:32,471
was plain oatmeal.

245
00:10:32,473 --> 00:10:34,006
You know? That put you in your place.

246
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:36,909
You were barely more
important than a horse.

247
00:10:36,911 --> 00:10:39,211
Yeah, yeah. You know what
we never heard from Dad

248
00:10:39,213 --> 00:10:40,346
when we were kids?

249
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:41,881
- "How do you feel?"
- Yeah.

250
00:10:41,883 --> 00:10:44,713
- I heard, "How does that feel?"
- Yeah.

251
00:10:44,738 --> 00:10:46,452
And, "You're gonna
feel that for a while."

252
00:10:46,454 --> 00:10:48,921
Yeah, yeah. I remember that.

253
00:10:48,923 --> 00:10:51,357
I'm starting to think it didn't
hurt him more than it hurt us.

254
00:10:52,078 --> 00:10:55,428
I just, I-I don't know how
to get through to these kids.

255
00:10:55,430 --> 00:10:56,742
You should talk to Dad.

256
00:10:56,767 --> 00:10:58,094
He's always had the power.

257
00:10:58,119 --> 00:10:59,594
He's the reason I don't
stick up for myself

258
00:10:59,619 --> 00:11:00,966
and I'm grateful for that.

259
00:11:00,968 --> 00:11:03,636
- Yes, Dad.
- Yeah.

260
00:11:03,638 --> 00:11:05,982
That man ruled with an iron fist

261
00:11:06,007 --> 00:11:08,007
from the comfort of his Barcalounger.

262
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:09,665
All he had to say was,

263
00:11:09,690 --> 00:11:12,391
"Don't make me get
up," and we never did.

264
00:11:12,947 --> 00:11:14,814
He'll get those kids in line.

265
00:11:14,816 --> 00:11:16,799
You guys are really getting me fired up.

266
00:11:16,824 --> 00:11:18,807
I'm sick of my kids running my house.

267
00:11:18,832 --> 00:11:20,820
I'm not gonna put up with it anymore.

268
00:11:20,822 --> 00:11:24,423
Tonight, I'm gonna ask
them for more power.

269
00:11:27,202 --> 00:11:28,913
Dad, uh, we need to talk to you

270
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:31,130
about a situation we're having.

271
00:11:31,132 --> 00:11:32,270
Take a bath together.

272
00:11:32,295 --> 00:11:34,962
That spiced it up for me and your mom.

273
00:11:37,705 --> 00:11:39,449
That's gonna stick with me.

274
00:11:40,059 --> 00:11:42,641
Uh, n-no, no, Dad.

275
00:11:42,643 --> 00:11:43,818
That's not the problem,

276
00:11:43,843 --> 00:11:46,345
but we should do that.

277
00:11:46,347 --> 00:11:48,714
Hey, there's my Teddy Bear.

278
00:11:48,716 --> 00:11:50,416
- Hey, Grandpa.
- Huh?

279
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:51,817
You couldn't spare a few dollars

280
00:11:51,819 --> 00:11:54,520
for a guy who's down
on his luck, could you?

281
00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:57,223
Teddy, you want your allowance,

282
00:11:57,225 --> 00:11:59,045
take out the trash.

283
00:11:59,070 --> 00:12:00,637
Nah, I'll let you do it.

284
00:12:03,498 --> 00:12:05,312
You see that right
there? That's the problem.

285
00:12:05,337 --> 00:12:07,350
If you'd talked to me like
that when you were a kid,

286
00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:09,386
I would've taken the
trash out with you in it.

287
00:12:10,756 --> 00:12:12,655
Yeah, well, it's not just
Teddy. It's all of them.

288
00:12:12,657 --> 00:12:15,358
There are ways to make
kids do what you want.

289
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:19,362
Yeah, but, Dad, your
ways aren't legal anymore.

290
00:12:20,010 --> 00:12:22,932
That was only one tool in the toolbox.

291
00:12:23,682 --> 00:12:25,301
You two have a structural problem.

292
00:12:25,303 --> 00:12:26,569
You're too soft on them.

293
00:12:26,571 --> 00:12:30,106
Yeah. You-You're always
asking them how they feel.

294
00:12:33,172 --> 00:12:35,345
You have to make them
fear the consequences

295
00:12:35,347 --> 00:12:37,380
of not doing their chores.

296
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:40,292
You can't be afraid to
ruin their lives a little.

297
00:12:41,245 --> 00:12:42,952
Remember when you
wouldn't make your bed?

298
00:12:42,954 --> 00:12:44,054
What did I do?

299
00:12:44,056 --> 00:12:46,056
You took my bed.

300
00:12:46,792 --> 00:12:47,757
You didn't.

301
00:12:47,759 --> 00:12:49,192
I damn well did.

302
00:12:49,824 --> 00:12:51,894
But he makes his bed
now, doesn't he, huh?

303
00:12:51,919 --> 00:12:54,264
Yeah, huh? You're welcome.

304
00:12:56,168 --> 00:12:57,600
He's right, he's right.

305
00:12:57,602 --> 00:12:58,802
We need to up our game

306
00:12:58,804 --> 00:13:01,037
and make their lives a
little less comfortable.

307
00:13:01,039 --> 00:13:03,122
This is how we get the power back.

308
00:13:03,147 --> 00:13:04,943
I just, I don't want them to be unhappy.

309
00:13:04,968 --> 00:13:06,622
Don't worry about that.

310
00:13:06,647 --> 00:13:09,693
Unhappy children is how you
know you're doing a good job.

311
00:13:13,643 --> 00:13:14,751
Good morning.

312
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:17,020
Your mother and I have
realized that we made a mistake

313
00:13:17,022 --> 00:13:19,823
with this whole chore situation.

314
00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:22,692
Told ya.

315
00:13:23,487 --> 00:13:25,295
We've been too soft on you.

316
00:13:26,187 --> 00:13:27,934
Uh-oh.

317
00:13:28,967 --> 00:13:31,201
Yeah, we've been thinking
about this, uh, strike of yours

318
00:13:31,203 --> 00:13:33,203
and it's actually a great idea.

319
00:13:33,228 --> 00:13:36,131
So until you agree to start
pulling your weight around here,

320
00:13:36,156 --> 00:13:38,274
we're going on strike.

321
00:13:39,106 --> 00:13:40,058
That's right.

322
00:13:40,083 --> 00:13:41,978
Instead of us doing all the work,

323
00:13:41,980 --> 00:13:43,213
you're gonna do it,

324
00:13:43,215 --> 00:13:45,315
and we're gonna do nothing.

325
00:13:46,255 --> 00:13:48,251
You're gonna do the dishes, the laundry,

326
00:13:48,253 --> 00:13:52,322
keep the kitchen clean and, and...

327
00:13:52,324 --> 00:13:55,992
you're gonna do it all for free.

328
00:13:57,429 --> 00:13:59,796
We trusted you.

329
00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:03,600
And that allowance money
that you're not getting,

330
00:14:03,602 --> 00:14:05,382
we're gonna use it to buy ice cream

331
00:14:05,407 --> 00:14:07,507
- and then eat it in front of you. 
- Mm-hmm.

332
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:10,039
And we're gonna get
all those goofy flavors

333
00:14:10,041 --> 00:14:13,309
you like and we hate just to
make it harder for you to watch.

334
00:14:14,089 --> 00:14:15,939
Oh, and I almost forgot.

335
00:14:17,191 --> 00:14:20,049
Here's your breakfast.

336
00:14:20,051 --> 00:14:21,551
Enjoy your oatmeal.

337
00:14:22,787 --> 00:14:24,521
That's right. We'll be in the tub.

338
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,986
We've only been on strike three days

339
00:14:40,988 --> 00:14:43,689
and it looks like...
somebody took our house

340
00:14:43,691 --> 00:14:45,724
and shook it like a snow globe.

341
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:51,030
Yeah, there's no place to sit.

342
00:14:51,032 --> 00:14:52,631
Sitting's our favorite thing.

343
00:14:52,656 --> 00:14:55,067
Yeah, but think about it.

344
00:14:55,069 --> 00:14:57,348
If it's getting to us, it's
got to be getting to them.

345
00:14:57,373 --> 00:14:58,739
Ooh, ooh, here they come.

346
00:14:58,764 --> 00:15:00,831
Okay, let's close this deal.

347
00:15:03,755 --> 00:15:04,877
Hey, guys.

348
00:15:04,879 --> 00:15:07,278
How was riding the nasty old school bus?

349
00:15:07,303 --> 00:15:08,489
Yeah, we're on strike.

350
00:15:08,514 --> 00:15:10,278
We don't pick you up. That's rough.

351
00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,986
The bus is awesome. I
sat next to an older kid

352
00:15:13,988 --> 00:15:15,821
who taught me about the dark web.

353
00:15:17,692 --> 00:15:20,092
You guys are really okay with this mess?

354
00:15:20,094 --> 00:15:21,536
Yeah, I mean, this place looks

355
00:15:21,561 --> 00:15:23,194
like the morning after Burning Man.

356
00:15:25,863 --> 00:15:27,606
Doesn't bother us if
it doesn't bother you.

357
00:15:32,606 --> 00:15:34,306
Oh, it doesn't bother us.

358
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:36,175
No, no, no.

359
00:15:36,177 --> 00:15:38,277
You wish it bothered us!

360
00:15:38,279 --> 00:15:40,850
It bothers me so much, Andi!

361
00:15:40,875 --> 00:15:43,449
I-I can't take it anymore.

362
00:15:43,451 --> 00:15:44,550
What are you talking about?

363
00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:46,452
It's gross in here!

364
00:15:46,454 --> 00:15:49,989
Those lunch boxes have not been
emptied since tuna fish day.

365
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:52,658
Tuna fish, Andi!

366
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:55,094
Sitting right under the heating vent.

367
00:15:55,096 --> 00:15:57,181
If whatever that grows into
learns how to open the lid,

368
00:15:57,206 --> 00:16:00,073
it's gonna kill us in our sleep.

369
00:16:00,286 --> 00:16:02,209
Wh-Whoa, whoa. Wait-wait
a minute, wait a minute.

370
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:04,010
You got me into this. You can't give up.

371
00:16:04,012 --> 00:16:06,780
Why not? I never get to give up.

372
00:16:06,782 --> 00:16:09,040
It looks fun. I want to try it.

373
00:16:09,524 --> 00:16:10,684
Oh, hey, hey.

374
00:16:10,686 --> 00:16:12,321
How about let's both do it, huh?

375
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:14,713
You're always saying you want
to do more stuff together.

376
00:16:15,524 --> 00:16:17,958
Come on. Think of all the
battles that we've quit on.

377
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:20,093
All right? The-the bedtime battle,

378
00:16:20,095 --> 00:16:21,461
the-the junk food battle,

379
00:16:21,463 --> 00:16:23,860
the flushing the toilet battle.

380
00:16:23,885 --> 00:16:26,129
We were all losers that day.

381
00:16:26,969 --> 00:16:29,069
And all because we never stick with it.

382
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,071
This is where we draw the line,

383
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:33,273
just like that line that
Teddy drew on the wall

384
00:16:33,275 --> 00:16:34,641
that we never punished him for.

385
00:16:34,643 --> 00:16:37,879
I painted over it,
but I can still see it

386
00:16:37,904 --> 00:16:39,770
when the sun hits it right.

387
00:16:39,795 --> 00:16:41,306
God, it makes me crazy!

388
00:16:41,331 --> 00:16:43,283
Yes, yes. Use that anger.

389
00:16:43,285 --> 00:16:44,718
Embrace the dark side.

390
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,353
Okay. Okay, we'll stick it out.

391
00:16:46,355 --> 00:16:48,455
And when it works, I'm gonna
write my own parenting book

392
00:16:48,457 --> 00:16:50,257
and call it Take That, Bonehead!

393
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:52,225
By Adam "A-Bomb" Burns!

394
00:16:55,620 --> 00:16:57,219
I need to sit down.

395
00:17:08,050 --> 00:17:09,910
Adam, did you hear that?

396
00:17:11,730 --> 00:17:13,413
Adam?

397
00:17:29,834 --> 00:17:30,730
Adam!

398
00:17:30,732 --> 00:17:33,700
It's not what you think.

399
00:17:33,702 --> 00:17:36,202
I'm, uh, I'm having an affair.

400
00:17:40,108 --> 00:17:41,641
You broke the strike.

401
00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:43,109
You-you surrendered.

402
00:17:43,134 --> 00:17:45,275
You're-you're like a, like a,

403
00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:47,180
like a Frenchman.

404
00:17:47,683 --> 00:17:49,015
I can't live like this anymore.

405
00:17:49,017 --> 00:17:51,174
We got flies, Andi.

406
00:17:51,199 --> 00:17:53,086
And I'm pretty sure something
in the bottom of the sink

407
00:17:53,088 --> 00:17:54,988
just grabbed my hand.

408
00:17:56,322 --> 00:17:57,924
I am so disappointed in you.

409
00:17:57,926 --> 00:17:59,726
Oh, come on. Don't do that.

410
00:17:59,728 --> 00:18:01,027
It's just, I got...

411
00:18:02,275 --> 00:18:05,072
Wait a minute. What are those?

412
00:18:05,424 --> 00:18:07,663
Who washed the kids' lunch boxes?

413
00:18:08,820 --> 00:18:11,204
Guess the kids did. We won.

414
00:18:11,206 --> 00:18:12,572
Let's go back to bed.

415
00:18:12,574 --> 00:18:15,275
Not so fast, Jean-Pierre.

416
00:18:15,277 --> 00:18:18,013
Ugh. All right, you caught me.

417
00:18:18,038 --> 00:18:19,045
Uh, hey.

418
00:18:19,047 --> 00:18:20,914
Let's do your thing and give up, huh?

419
00:18:20,916 --> 00:18:22,809
We can, we can give
up together in the tub.

420
00:18:22,834 --> 00:18:26,215
No. No. The tub is for winners.

421
00:18:28,403 --> 00:18:30,440
Look at us.

422
00:18:30,465 --> 00:18:32,625
We went on strike to make
the mess the kids' problem

423
00:18:32,627 --> 00:18:34,527
and we ended up just
punishing ourselves.

424
00:18:34,529 --> 00:18:35,495
Well, you're right.

425
00:18:35,497 --> 00:18:37,097
I mean, at this point,

426
00:18:37,099 --> 00:18:39,833
their rooms are probably the
cleanest ones in the house.

427
00:18:43,697 --> 00:18:45,830
You know what? They are.

428
00:18:46,783 --> 00:18:48,953
And we are finally gonna
make this mess their problem

429
00:18:48,978 --> 00:18:51,012
because I just got an idea.

430
00:18:52,967 --> 00:18:56,169
Okay, babe, everyone's
home from their playdates.

431
00:18:56,852 --> 00:18:59,511
- Hey, hey, look how clean it is in here.
- I see it.

432
00:18:59,536 --> 00:19:00,635
Stick with me, kid.

433
00:19:01,402 --> 00:19:03,167
That's right. We cleaned up.

434
00:19:03,192 --> 00:19:04,491
You got us.

435
00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:06,226
Oh, here we go.

436
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,927
Good luck.

437
00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:10,196
See you on the other side.

438
00:19:19,345 --> 00:19:20,640
Oh, my God!

439
00:19:20,642 --> 00:19:23,109
- What happened?
- Somebody help!

440
00:19:23,946 --> 00:19:26,513
That is the sweet sound of victory.

441
00:19:36,903 --> 00:19:38,536
I did all the laundry.

442
00:19:38,561 --> 00:19:40,226
I took out all the trash.

443
00:19:40,688 --> 00:19:44,357
I broke a plate and didn't
have to do anything after that.

444
00:19:46,106 --> 00:19:48,573
And what I'm hearing is you surrender.

445
00:19:48,722 --> 00:19:50,222
Pretty much.

446
00:19:50,558 --> 00:19:51,771
Say it.

447
00:19:53,508 --> 00:19:56,810
We surrender.

448
00:19:57,727 --> 00:19:59,345
All right, then the strike is over.

449
00:19:59,347 --> 00:20:01,866
We do our work. You do your work.

450
00:20:01,891 --> 00:20:03,883
Everybody gets along.

451
00:20:04,079 --> 00:20:05,652
You win.

452
00:20:05,654 --> 00:20:08,088
We're not very happy.

453
00:20:08,387 --> 00:20:12,029
And that's how we know
we're doing a good job.

454
00:20:17,144 --> 00:20:19,143
_

455
00:20:19,168 --> 00:20:20,452
Okay.

456
00:20:20,454 --> 00:20:23,155
After I take out the kids'
trash, I'll make their beds.

457
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:26,024
Okay. And, uh,

458
00:20:26,026 --> 00:20:27,225
I'll pick up their toys

459
00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:29,430
- and start vacuuming their rooms.
- Okay.

460
00:20:32,626 --> 00:20:33,965
Hey.

461
00:20:34,404 --> 00:20:36,318
What the hell happened?

462
00:20:39,787 --> 00:20:41,333
Call your dad!

463
00:20:42,286 --> 00:20:43,521
I'm on it.

464
00:20:45,006 --> 00:20:50,006
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