1
00:00:02,586 --> 00:00:04,352
Okay, guys, Mommy and
I are gonna be leaving

2
00:00:04,354 --> 00:00:06,721
in a couple minutes, and we're, uh...

3
00:00:09,284 --> 00:00:11,209
Are you watching The Hangover?

4
00:00:11,736 --> 00:00:14,127
- Uh, no.
- That's rated R.

5
00:00:14,152 --> 00:00:15,838
Uncle Don came in and turned it on.

6
00:00:15,863 --> 00:00:18,397
It's way better than SpongeBob.

7
00:00:19,736 --> 00:00:22,604
I sat on the remote and it just came on.

8
00:00:22,870 --> 00:00:24,870
That's not what happened at all.

9
00:00:24,895 --> 00:00:26,582
He searched for it,
found it, and then said,

10
00:00:26,607 --> 00:00:28,039
"Buckle up, kids."

11
00:00:29,643 --> 00:00:31,076
Come on, man.

12
00:00:32,590 --> 00:00:34,457
I also told you not to tell your dad.

13
00:00:36,121 --> 00:00:37,363
Hey, what's with the suit?

14
00:00:37,388 --> 00:00:39,484
Looks like you're selling
pianos at the mall.

15
00:00:40,554 --> 00:00:42,320
It's Valentine's Day.

16
00:00:42,322 --> 00:00:43,714
I'm taking Andi out

17
00:00:43,738 --> 00:00:45,437
- because I love her.
- Hmm.

18
00:00:45,439 --> 00:00:47,806
And because she told me to.

19
00:00:49,066 --> 00:00:50,518
Really doing it up fancy, huh?

20
00:00:50,543 --> 00:00:51,710
Oh, yeah, yeah.

21
00:00:51,712 --> 00:00:54,494
I called three weeks ago
to get us in at Staiano's

22
00:00:54,519 --> 00:00:56,052
for dinner and dancing,

23
00:00:56,077 --> 00:00:59,527
pre-ordered their special
lovers package for two,

24
00:00:59,552 --> 00:01:01,553
and had the truck detailed for
when she throws herself at me

25
00:01:01,555 --> 00:01:03,389
- on the way home.
- Hmm.

26
00:01:03,882 --> 00:01:05,363
I forgot nothing.

27
00:01:05,388 --> 00:01:08,235
- Who's babysitting tonight?
- I forgot something.

28
00:01:09,214 --> 00:01:10,390
Oh, this is not good,

29
00:01:10,415 --> 00:01:12,064
I don't have a babysitter.

30
00:01:12,066 --> 00:01:14,575
Wha... hey, are you and Marcy
doing anything special tonight?

31
00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,977
No. Every night I let Marcy lay
her head on this bear skin rug.

32
00:01:18,399 --> 00:01:20,191
So, you know,

33
00:01:20,216 --> 00:01:22,284
it's always Valentine's
Day at our house.

34
00:01:23,065 --> 00:01:25,139
Sounds like it's always
Halloween at your house.

35
00:01:25,946 --> 00:01:28,547
- So can you babysit?
- Let me call Marcy.

36
00:01:28,549 --> 00:01:30,482
Hello?

37
00:01:30,484 --> 00:01:32,117
Hey, babe, I got a
question about tonight.

38
00:01:32,119 --> 00:01:35,087
So do I, where are you
taking me for Valentine's Day?

39
00:01:36,261 --> 00:01:38,029
We got a big night ahead of us, baby,

40
00:01:38,054 --> 00:01:40,321
so lay out my good underwear.

41
00:01:41,295 --> 00:01:42,777
I can't babysit, I screwed up big.

42
00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:44,478
I got to find some place to take Marcy.

43
00:01:44,503 --> 00:01:46,322
Wha... you're never gonna get in

44
00:01:46,347 --> 00:01:48,555
anywhere on Valentine's Day.

45
00:01:48,580 --> 00:01:51,581
Hey, I snuck into three Cher
concerts, I could do anything.

46
00:01:55,042 --> 00:01:56,614
So are you guys not going out?

47
00:01:56,639 --> 00:01:58,677
No, no, no, I can still save this.

48
00:01:59,123 --> 00:02:00,379
I'll call Marie.

49
00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:02,281
She's been single a long time.

50
00:02:02,283 --> 00:02:05,150
It's a sad, sad... Marie!

51
00:02:05,546 --> 00:02:07,012
Hey, uh, any chance

52
00:02:07,037 --> 00:02:09,521
- you could babysit tonight?
- No can do.

53
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,820
I'm here with your favorite
kindergarten teacher,

54
00:02:11,845 --> 00:02:14,867
and we are drowning our sorrows in meat.

55
00:02:14,892 --> 00:02:17,228
Hey, Burns, the best thing about tonight

56
00:02:17,253 --> 00:02:18,897
is I've hit rock bottom.

57
00:02:19,401 --> 00:02:20,867
I can only go up from here.

58
00:02:23,824 --> 00:02:26,438
Katie, some phone calls
make you feel very lucky.

59
00:02:28,079 --> 00:02:29,824
Lowell, it's Adam.

60
00:02:29,980 --> 00:02:30,709
Hey.

61
00:02:30,711 --> 00:02:33,007
Hey, uh, can you watch my kids tonight?

62
00:02:33,032 --> 00:02:35,505
I wish I could, Adam, but
I've got romantic plans

63
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,163
with my wife all night.

64
00:02:40,212 --> 00:02:41,587
Time for lefty.

65
00:02:44,377 --> 00:02:45,904
Oh, I am in big trouble.

66
00:02:45,929 --> 00:02:47,436
Big trouble.

67
00:02:47,975 --> 00:02:49,208
I could babysit.

68
00:02:49,233 --> 00:02:50,195
What?

69
00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:52,208
Wait.

70
00:02:52,527 --> 00:02:55,027
Wait, wait.

71
00:02:55,052 --> 00:02:57,336
Yeah, you're 13, you're old enough now.

72
00:02:57,338 --> 00:02:59,137
Yeah, and happy to do it any time.

73
00:02:59,139 --> 00:03:01,440
Wasn't even thinking about any time.

74
00:03:02,334 --> 00:03:04,810
I was just thinking about tonight.

75
00:03:05,347 --> 00:03:07,012
Yeah, but any time means, like,

76
00:03:07,147 --> 00:03:09,450
if I have to run back to
the office, you'll be here.

77
00:03:09,668 --> 00:03:12,515
Or if Mom and I want to
see a movie, you'll be here.

78
00:03:12,641 --> 00:03:15,975
Or if we just don't want
to be here, you'll be here!

79
00:03:18,209 --> 00:03:20,142
This could change our lives.

80
00:03:21,507 --> 00:03:23,545
One thing though, if I babysit,

81
00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:25,770
it's gonna cost you
three dollars an hour.

82
00:03:26,544 --> 00:03:28,240
Three dollars an hour?

83
00:03:28,822 --> 00:03:30,288
Katie, honey...

84
00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:32,257
that's not how you negotiate, okay?

85
00:03:32,259 --> 00:03:34,247
You go high, I go low.

86
00:03:34,272 --> 00:03:36,728
Start at, like, ten or $15.

87
00:03:37,944 --> 00:03:39,044
Okay.

88
00:03:39,069 --> 00:03:40,142
$15, then.

89
00:03:40,167 --> 00:03:42,000
No, no, no, no, it's three,
you already said three.

90
00:03:44,915 --> 00:03:47,516
Whoa, look at you.

91
00:03:47,541 --> 00:03:49,551
And look at you.

92
00:03:49,576 --> 00:03:52,076
I can't wait to get you out on the town.

93
00:03:52,078 --> 00:03:53,678
When's the babysitter getting here?

94
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:57,015
Ah, Valentine's surprise number one.

95
00:03:58,426 --> 00:03:59,995
- She's already here.
- Oh.

96
00:04:00,020 --> 00:04:00,785
In fact,

97
00:04:00,787 --> 00:04:03,336
she's been here for 13 years.

98
00:04:03,361 --> 00:04:06,829
She's responsible, well-raised,

99
00:04:06,965 --> 00:04:09,702
you know her and you
love her, it's Katie!

100
00:04:11,464 --> 00:04:14,699
You forgot to book a
babysitter, didn't you?

101
00:04:14,701 --> 00:04:17,769
That's Valentine's surprise number two.

102
00:04:18,443 --> 00:04:19,671
Yeah, honey,

103
00:04:19,673 --> 00:04:21,472
I-I just don't think she's ready yet.

104
00:04:21,474 --> 00:04:25,025
I mean, babysitters need to be
a little more, you know, mature.

105
00:04:25,205 --> 00:04:27,245
Wha... you let Uncle Don babysit.

106
00:04:28,479 --> 00:04:31,950
Good point, Katie, my
smartest child. Huh?

107
00:04:31,952 --> 00:04:33,384
Don was here for five minutes

108
00:04:33,386 --> 00:04:36,287
and Emme learned every bad word ever.

109
00:04:36,289 --> 00:04:38,756
They're all up here now.

110
00:04:40,288 --> 00:04:41,826
Okay, Adam, we need
to talk in the kitchen.

111
00:04:41,828 --> 00:04:44,028
That means no.

112
00:04:44,030 --> 00:04:46,731
Do you see how smart she is?

113
00:04:46,733 --> 00:04:47,932
Look, I tried everyone.

114
00:04:47,934 --> 00:04:49,367
Katie is our only option.

115
00:04:49,369 --> 00:04:51,069
Look, I'm fine with Katie babysitting.

116
00:04:51,071 --> 00:04:52,837
Just not our kids.

117
00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:54,606
Yeah, I mean, let her
work out all the kinks

118
00:04:54,608 --> 00:04:57,275
on that frog killer,
Tabitha, down the street.

119
00:04:58,130 --> 00:05:01,279
Andi, the restaurant's only
a few minutes away, okay?

120
00:05:01,281 --> 00:05:03,748
The kids will watch a movie,
we'll have some dinner,

121
00:05:03,750 --> 00:05:05,316
dance to Sinatra,

122
00:05:05,318 --> 00:05:06,985
maybe squeeze in a little

123
00:05:06,987 --> 00:05:09,020
truck action on the way home.

124
00:05:09,022 --> 00:05:10,288
Come on.

125
00:05:10,290 --> 00:05:11,547
I don't know.

126
00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:12,991
It's just scary to think about

127
00:05:12,993 --> 00:05:15,260
leaving her in charge. I mean,

128
00:05:15,262 --> 00:05:17,128
I have bras older than her.

129
00:05:18,841 --> 00:05:22,967
And like those bras, Katie
has been through a lot.

130
00:05:25,971 --> 00:05:27,839
Look, she helps me already, okay?

131
00:05:27,841 --> 00:05:29,207
When we get home from school,

132
00:05:29,209 --> 00:05:30,842
she gives Teddy and Emme their snacks,

133
00:05:30,867 --> 00:05:33,060
she gets them started on their homework.

134
00:05:33,085 --> 00:05:34,913
She's really good at it.

135
00:05:34,915 --> 00:05:37,282
Isn't that what you're
supposed to be doing?

136
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:40,718
Let's not get bogged
down in details, okay?

137
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:42,086
You know what? Look, look, look,

138
00:05:42,088 --> 00:05:43,821
if...

139
00:05:43,823 --> 00:05:47,264
if Katie starts babysitting,
we can go out whenever we want.

140
00:05:47,289 --> 00:05:50,461
All right? We can be that
spontaneous, happy couple

141
00:05:50,463 --> 00:05:54,399
we used to be before the kids,
you know, ruined everything.

142
00:05:57,152 --> 00:05:59,653
I think it's fun to
stay home with the kids.

143
00:06:02,075 --> 00:06:04,909
They can't hear you.
You can tell the truth.

144
00:06:04,911 --> 00:06:06,853
Look, can we just try it for tonight?

145
00:06:07,337 --> 00:06:09,414
- Okay, fine. All right?
- Okay.

146
00:06:09,416 --> 00:06:12,617
But if anything goes wrong
at the house while we're gone,

147
00:06:12,619 --> 00:06:14,498
Katie babysitting goes
on the list of things

148
00:06:14,523 --> 00:06:16,354
you are not allowed
to ask me to do again.

149
00:06:16,356 --> 00:06:17,922
Okay, sure, sure, sure.

150
00:06:17,924 --> 00:06:19,357
I'll put it next to skydiving

151
00:06:19,359 --> 00:06:21,070
and that thing I tried
on New Year's Eve.

152
00:06:21,095 --> 00:06:22,281
Now, let's...

153
00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:25,607
let's do this before you
change your mind, okay?

154
00:06:25,632 --> 00:06:27,231
That's what you said on New Year's Eve.

155
00:06:29,543 --> 00:06:30,887
Katie,

156
00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:33,904
your mother and I have
decided to let you babysit.

157
00:06:33,929 --> 00:06:35,767
- Yay!
- Really?! That's amazing!

158
00:06:35,792 --> 00:06:37,909
- I won't let you down, I promise.
- Okay. Okay.

159
00:06:37,911 --> 00:06:39,644
But I have some rules, all right?

160
00:06:39,646 --> 00:06:41,713
No running, no jumping,
no climbing, no fighting,

161
00:06:41,715 --> 00:06:44,211
no biting, no cooking, all right?

162
00:06:44,236 --> 00:06:46,470
A-And no trying anything
for the first time.

163
00:06:46,495 --> 00:06:49,162
If you're not already great
at it, don't do it, okay?

164
00:06:50,190 --> 00:06:51,823
Okay, listen,

165
00:06:51,825 --> 00:06:54,325
if you need anything, you
call me, not your mother, me.

166
00:06:54,327 --> 00:06:56,127
- Got it?
- Got it.

167
00:06:56,511 --> 00:06:58,296
Okay. And...

168
00:06:58,298 --> 00:07:00,903
if you need anything, you call me, okay?

169
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,493
- Be good, bye!
- Oh, and lock this door.

170
00:07:07,518 --> 00:07:08,539
Don't answer this door.

171
00:07:08,541 --> 00:07:09,874
Nothing with doors.

172
00:07:09,876 --> 00:07:11,976
Doors equal death.

173
00:07:21,332 --> 00:07:22,653
And you're dead.

174
00:07:34,208 --> 00:07:35,995
Do you think it's too
early to call home?

175
00:07:36,167 --> 00:07:38,434
Honey, we left six
and a half minutes ago.

176
00:07:39,509 --> 00:07:42,385
The kids are in good
hands, will you just relax?

177
00:07:42,410 --> 00:07:45,158
Okay, well, as long as
everything is fine at home,

178
00:07:45,183 --> 00:07:46,572
- I'm fine.
- Well...

179
00:07:47,242 --> 00:07:48,388
- I like this place.
- Mm.

180
00:07:48,413 --> 00:07:49,679
- It's fancy.
- Yeah.

181
00:07:49,704 --> 00:07:51,270
You know, when I went
to the ladies' room,

182
00:07:51,272 --> 00:07:53,609
the toilet seat was heated. Yeah.

183
00:07:53,634 --> 00:07:55,289
And not from somebody
else sitting on it.

184
00:07:55,343 --> 00:07:57,017
Oh.

185
00:07:57,042 --> 00:08:00,090
Oh, and, since I'm only paying
Katie three dollars an hour,

186
00:08:00,115 --> 00:08:03,170
I am gonna order us the
second cheapest bottle of wine.

187
00:08:03,195 --> 00:08:05,396
Mm.

188
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,638
Hi, may I help you?

189
00:08:06,663 --> 00:08:08,319
Hey, yeah, uh, we have
a reservation for two.

190
00:08:08,344 --> 00:08:09,314
Burns.

191
00:08:09,339 --> 00:08:11,190
Hmm. Oh, I just seated

192
00:08:11,192 --> 00:08:12,458
the Burns party.

193
00:08:13,995 --> 00:08:16,496
I think I would've
remembered if that happened.

194
00:08:17,532 --> 00:08:19,132
Is that Don?

195
00:08:19,650 --> 00:08:21,072
Yes.

196
00:08:21,097 --> 00:08:24,599
That seven-foot howler
monkey stole our table.

197
00:08:25,974 --> 00:08:27,807
What the hell are you
doing at our table?

198
00:08:27,809 --> 00:08:30,495
I took a gamble you
wouldn't find a babysitter.

199
00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:32,136
I kind of bet my marriage on it.

200
00:08:33,144 --> 00:08:33,832
Okay, well,

201
00:08:33,857 --> 00:08:34,914
Marcy's looking at me,

202
00:08:34,939 --> 00:08:36,881
so tell me all the lies quickly.

203
00:08:37,514 --> 00:08:39,886
I told her I invited you
guys here to surprise her.

204
00:08:39,888 --> 00:08:42,355
And that you're fighting,
and that's why you looked mad.

205
00:08:45,493 --> 00:08:46,993
Okay, fine, but you are buying us

206
00:08:46,995 --> 00:08:48,694
the third cheapest bottle of wine.

207
00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:50,229
No problem.

208
00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:51,808
I'm not doing that.

209
00:08:55,470 --> 00:08:57,703
Oh, no, Katie's calling me.

210
00:08:59,269 --> 00:09:00,840
Katie, hey. Are you okay?

211
00:09:00,842 --> 00:09:02,808
Uh, yeah, we're fine. I
think that fuse blew again,

212
00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:03,810
the lights went out.

213
00:09:03,812 --> 00:09:05,792
Oh, oh, you just have
to reset the breaker.

214
00:09:05,817 --> 00:09:08,147
You know where the breaker
box is out on the garage wall?

215
00:09:08,149 --> 00:09:10,883
Yeah, you mean that thing you
told me to touch never ever?

216
00:09:11,813 --> 00:09:13,920
That was when you were four,
but you're old enough now.

217
00:09:13,922 --> 00:09:15,410
Just... but, uh, before you open it,

218
00:09:15,435 --> 00:09:16,556
bang your hand on the cover

219
00:09:16,558 --> 00:09:19,659
a couple of times to scare the spiders.

220
00:09:19,661 --> 00:09:22,462
Spiders? We'll just leave the
power off till you come home.

221
00:09:22,464 --> 00:09:23,863
No, no, no, no, no, if...

222
00:09:23,865 --> 00:09:25,431
if the power's off when Mom gets home,

223
00:09:25,433 --> 00:09:28,434
we'll never get our
spontaneous life back.

224
00:09:28,436 --> 00:09:30,947
- What are you talking about?
- You'll understand in 30 years.

225
00:09:30,972 --> 00:09:32,705
You know what? I'll be home in a minute.

226
00:09:32,938 --> 00:09:34,494
Okay, listen, I got to run home,

227
00:09:34,519 --> 00:09:37,043
but Andi can't know that
Katie called or that I left,

228
00:09:37,045 --> 00:09:38,167
so cover for me, all right?

229
00:09:38,192 --> 00:09:39,812
Tell her that, uh...

230
00:09:39,814 --> 00:09:41,548
tell her you saw me
running into the bathroom.

231
00:09:41,573 --> 00:09:43,987
Yeah, got it. You were sweating,
your hands were on your butt.

232
00:09:44,012 --> 00:09:47,487
Right? And you were
screaming, "Oh, Lord help me."

233
00:09:47,489 --> 00:09:49,121
What? No, no!

234
00:09:49,123 --> 00:09:51,524
What's the matter? Too religious?

235
00:09:54,462 --> 00:09:57,463
Hey, hi, everyone. Okay, it's just me.

236
00:09:57,465 --> 00:09:59,866
Hi. How's everybody doing?
You good? Good? Okay.

237
00:09:59,868 --> 00:10:01,801
Playing a board game,
that's nice. All right, good.

238
00:10:01,803 --> 00:10:03,703
Just gonna run out here
and trip the breaker.

239
00:10:03,705 --> 00:10:05,805
All right, nothing...
will only take a second.

240
00:10:05,807 --> 00:10:07,006
Okay.

241
00:10:07,008 --> 00:10:09,609
Lights will be on in a second.

242
00:10:09,611 --> 00:10:11,410
And the lights are back on. Yeah.

243
00:10:11,412 --> 00:10:14,026
Okay, all right, that's
good. And I can...

244
00:10:14,051 --> 00:10:16,385
see that there's a spider on me!

245
00:10:16,973 --> 00:10:21,020
This is so fun that Don invited
you guys here to surprise me.

246
00:10:21,045 --> 00:10:22,942
Yeah, we're all surprised.

247
00:10:25,126 --> 00:10:27,277
Hey, what'd I miss?

248
00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,202
Hey, how's your tummy?

249
00:10:29,227 --> 00:10:30,652
Don said you had to
borrow a pair of pants

250
00:10:30,677 --> 00:10:32,777
from the lost and found.

251
00:10:35,561 --> 00:10:36,890
Thanks, Don.

252
00:10:36,915 --> 00:10:37,904
No, it was just

253
00:10:37,906 --> 00:10:39,505
an upset stomach, but I feel great so,

254
00:10:39,507 --> 00:10:41,419
uh, let's get out night started.

255
00:10:41,606 --> 00:10:43,009
May I have this dance?

256
00:10:45,287 --> 00:10:47,406
Happy Valentine's Day.

257
00:10:47,431 --> 00:10:49,252
Here are your personalized
champagne glasses

258
00:10:49,277 --> 00:10:51,744
that were included in your
lovers package for two.

259
00:10:53,054 --> 00:10:56,122
Why do they say Adam and Andi?

260
00:10:56,124 --> 00:10:57,381
What?

261
00:10:57,406 --> 00:10:59,117
Well, shouldn't they
have our names on them?

262
00:10:59,142 --> 00:11:01,076
I mean, you did make the reservation.

263
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:04,869
Or is there something going
on that I should know about?

264
00:11:05,830 --> 00:11:08,267
Just that this is an outrage!

265
00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,137
This is fun.

266
00:11:11,139 --> 00:11:12,905
Is that your phone buzzing?

267
00:11:12,907 --> 00:11:14,240
- Um...
- Oh, is it Kate?

268
00:11:14,242 --> 00:11:15,408
Well, let me check.

269
00:11:15,688 --> 00:11:16,542
Uh,

270
00:11:16,544 --> 00:11:17,233
no.

271
00:11:17,258 --> 00:11:18,316
No, no, no.

272
00:11:18,341 --> 00:11:19,979
No, that's a, uh, uh,

273
00:11:19,981 --> 00:11:21,647
an alarm that I set for myself

274
00:11:21,649 --> 00:11:24,678
to remind me to tell
you that I love you.

275
00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:26,218
Oh...

276
00:11:26,354 --> 00:11:27,700
I love you, I got to go.

277
00:11:27,725 --> 00:11:29,511
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

278
00:11:29,536 --> 00:11:30,656
Go where?

279
00:11:30,658 --> 00:11:34,527
Babe, a love like ours
is beyond questions.

280
00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:40,835
Listen, what's so hard about
getting a name on a glass?

281
00:11:40,860 --> 00:11:43,327
I'm begging you, find a
Sharpie and get it done.

282
00:11:44,633 --> 00:11:46,466
Katie called again, I
got to call her back.

283
00:11:46,491 --> 00:11:48,583
Okay, I'll stand in front
of you so Andi can't see.

284
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:49,797
Fine, fine, yeah.

285
00:11:49,822 --> 00:11:51,888
Hey, Katie, it's Dad. Are you okay?

286
00:11:51,913 --> 00:11:53,728
Dad, there's a bat flying
around in Emme's room

287
00:11:53,753 --> 00:11:54,855
and she's freaking out.

288
00:11:54,945 --> 00:11:56,659
How did a bat get in the house?

289
00:11:56,684 --> 00:11:57,855
It must have flown in when you

290
00:11:57,880 --> 00:11:59,847
left the back door open to fix the fuse.

291
00:11:59,872 --> 00:12:02,239
Okay, no need to point fingers.

292
00:12:02,601 --> 00:12:04,423
All right, I-I'll be home in a minute.

293
00:12:04,659 --> 00:12:06,905
Okay, listen, tell Andi, uh...

294
00:12:07,174 --> 00:12:09,841
- I'll make something up.
- No, no, no, no, no.

295
00:12:09,866 --> 00:12:12,208
Uh, tell her, uh, tell
her I had to move the car.

296
00:12:12,233 --> 00:12:14,233
I-I accidently parked
in a loading zone.

297
00:12:14,235 --> 00:12:16,696
Okay, but I got to find a
strong drink for Marcy first.

298
00:12:16,721 --> 00:12:18,337
She's starting to get suspicious.

299
00:12:18,339 --> 00:12:19,306
Really?

300
00:12:19,331 --> 00:12:21,398
You having a hard time
outsmarting her, are you?

301
00:12:21,423 --> 00:12:22,891
Oh, always.

302
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:23,862
Huh.

303
00:12:23,887 --> 00:12:25,845
Oh, this drink looks good.

304
00:12:25,847 --> 00:12:27,947
It's called a Mind Eraser.

305
00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:31,690
Yeah. Mom must've had a few of those

306
00:12:31,715 --> 00:12:33,681
when she was pregnant with you.

307
00:12:35,350 --> 00:12:36,956
Okay! I'm here.

308
00:12:36,958 --> 00:12:38,457
I'm here!

309
00:12:38,482 --> 00:12:39,329
Hello?

310
00:12:39,354 --> 00:12:40,559
Oh, it's okay,

311
00:12:40,561 --> 00:12:42,461
I got him to fly out the window.

312
00:12:42,463 --> 00:12:45,331
Really? Oh, I'm so proud of you.

313
00:12:45,333 --> 00:12:46,699
You're the best babysitter ever.

314
00:12:46,701 --> 00:12:47,402
See that?

315
00:12:47,427 --> 00:12:48,768
Nothing to be scared of.

316
00:12:48,770 --> 00:12:50,503
Just a little bat.

317
00:12:52,740 --> 00:12:54,607
Ah! The bat's out here!

318
00:12:54,895 --> 00:12:56,661
It's chasing me!

319
00:13:02,417 --> 00:13:03,574
Not again.

320
00:13:04,894 --> 00:13:06,535
Hey, Katie. What is it this time?

321
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:08,794
Never mind, I'm coming.

322
00:13:09,784 --> 00:13:10,823
Hey, pal.

323
00:13:11,754 --> 00:13:12,958
Hi, Dad.

324
00:13:15,311 --> 00:13:16,911
Okay, ready?

325
00:13:17,265 --> 00:13:18,431
- Yeah.
- Out you go.

326
00:13:20,308 --> 00:13:22,275
What a rush.

327
00:13:23,181 --> 00:13:24,280
Yeah, it's good, right?

328
00:13:24,305 --> 00:13:25,268
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Okay,

329
00:13:25,293 --> 00:13:26,772
please don't do that again, all right?

330
00:13:26,774 --> 00:13:29,008
All right, I got to go.
You call me if you need me.

331
00:13:33,308 --> 00:13:34,185
Hey, Mom.

332
00:13:34,210 --> 00:13:35,848
Hey, honey, just checking in.

333
00:13:35,850 --> 00:13:37,717
Oh, uh, don't worry, Dad just left.

334
00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:40,953
Wait, your-your dad was there?

335
00:13:41,514 --> 00:13:43,956
Yeah, to get Teddy's
head out of the banister.

336
00:13:43,958 --> 00:13:45,224
What?

337
00:13:45,226 --> 00:13:47,026
Kate, what happened?

338
00:13:47,301 --> 00:13:48,544
Which time?

339
00:13:49,218 --> 00:13:51,030
"Which time?"

340
00:13:51,032 --> 00:13:52,932
Oh, it... it's no big deal.

341
00:13:52,934 --> 00:13:54,699
Dad only came home
when the fuse blew out,

342
00:13:54,724 --> 00:13:56,724
when the bat was upstairs and
when Teddy's head got stuck.

343
00:13:59,073 --> 00:14:00,771
I thought you guys
told each other stuff.

344
00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:02,629
Yeah, so did I.

345
00:14:03,511 --> 00:14:04,670
Okay, honey, well, I think

346
00:14:04,695 --> 00:14:06,122
we'll be home very soon.

347
00:14:06,147 --> 00:14:08,347
Okay? Bye-bye.

348
00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:09,764
Excuse me?

349
00:14:09,895 --> 00:14:12,929
I would like your most
expensive bottle of wine, please.

350
00:14:18,203 --> 00:14:20,338
This drink is delicious.
I don't even care

351
00:14:20,363 --> 00:14:22,087
if my name's not on the glass.

352
00:14:22,391 --> 00:14:23,557
There you go.

353
00:14:23,559 --> 00:14:25,092
And there's hardly any alcohol in there,

354
00:14:25,094 --> 00:14:26,994
so you could have as many as you want.

355
00:14:29,790 --> 00:14:30,751
Hey.

356
00:14:31,592 --> 00:14:32,778
Hi.

357
00:14:32,803 --> 00:14:34,775
Honey, it sure took you a
long time to move the car.

358
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,805
Yeah, well, I had to
circle around forever.

359
00:14:37,807 --> 00:14:39,840
Practically ended up back at the house.

360
00:14:41,377 --> 00:14:43,844
I hate when I can't find a parking spot.

361
00:14:43,846 --> 00:14:46,580
It just makes me want to blow a fuse.

362
00:14:48,498 --> 00:14:52,019
Well, that... that was
very specifically worded.

363
00:14:52,538 --> 00:14:54,922
It just drives me...

364
00:14:54,924 --> 00:14:56,690
batty.

365
00:14:58,746 --> 00:15:00,627
It's over, man.

366
00:15:02,565 --> 00:15:04,465
Why didn't you tell me you
had to go home three times?

367
00:15:04,467 --> 00:15:05,933
I'm sorry.

368
00:15:05,935 --> 00:15:08,068
I wasn't thinking straight
because I got caught up

369
00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:10,571
in this beautiful fantasy.

370
00:15:10,573 --> 00:15:12,373
Imagine this: it's a typical night,

371
00:15:12,375 --> 00:15:14,408
the kids are tired and fighting,

372
00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:16,043
and what do we do?

373
00:15:16,045 --> 00:15:17,978
We just walk out the door.

374
00:15:18,915 --> 00:15:21,577
Because the babysitter is already there.

375
00:15:22,928 --> 00:15:25,586
All right, I mean, that
does sound pretty good.

376
00:15:25,588 --> 00:15:27,889
And Katie did the right thing:
every time there was a problem,

377
00:15:27,914 --> 00:15:29,057
she called me.

378
00:15:29,082 --> 00:15:30,491
We can trust her.

379
00:15:30,493 --> 00:15:32,459
'Cause she was raised by a good mother.

380
00:15:32,461 --> 00:15:34,795
A good, smokin' hot mother.

381
00:15:34,797 --> 00:15:36,263
Okay, okay.

382
00:15:37,587 --> 00:15:39,046
Too much?

383
00:15:39,071 --> 00:15:40,768
No, I mean, I like it.

384
00:15:42,545 --> 00:15:43,570
I like the fantasy,

385
00:15:43,572 --> 00:15:45,305
I-I like the whole thing.

386
00:15:45,422 --> 00:15:47,174
- Yeah.
- You know what? I'm gonna call Katie

387
00:15:47,176 --> 00:15:48,490
and tell her what a
good job she's doing.

388
00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:51,123
Great, great. Then
let's go enjoy our night.

389
00:15:51,148 --> 00:15:53,512
We still got a lot to look
forward to: dinner, dancing,

390
00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:56,705
fireworks when Don's
night goes up in flames.

391
00:15:58,778 --> 00:16:00,087
Adam, she's not picking up.

392
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:01,021
What?

393
00:16:07,268 --> 00:16:08,626
This night is going great.

394
00:16:08,651 --> 00:16:10,890
I think I'm actually
gonna get away with it.

395
00:16:10,976 --> 00:16:11,724
Hey, bartender,

396
00:16:11,749 --> 00:16:14,501
another Mind Eraser, shaky, shaky.

397
00:16:15,157 --> 00:16:16,470
Five rings,

398
00:16:16,495 --> 00:16:19,261
six rings... voice mail.

399
00:16:19,286 --> 00:16:21,241
- Voice mail, Adam!
- Well, why isn't she answering?

400
00:16:21,243 --> 00:16:23,243
I don't know, but we need to
get home to our kids right now!

401
00:16:23,245 --> 00:16:24,090
All right, all right, that's it,

402
00:16:24,122 --> 00:16:25,222
we're out of here.

403
00:16:25,448 --> 00:16:26,480
Oh!

404
00:16:26,482 --> 00:16:27,414
Oh...

405
00:16:27,416 --> 00:16:28,482
Oh, sorry, buddy.

406
00:16:28,484 --> 00:16:30,017
Uh, he'll pay for it.

407
00:16:30,019 --> 00:16:31,460
I-I got to go!

408
00:16:32,905 --> 00:16:33,987
Why do I have to pay for it?

409
00:16:33,989 --> 00:16:35,656
It wasn't even my reservation!

410
00:16:38,418 --> 00:16:39,993
What did you just say?

411
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:44,465
Oh, I was so close.

412
00:16:46,396 --> 00:16:48,371
Still no answer.

413
00:16:48,396 --> 00:16:49,336
Can you drive faster?

414
00:16:49,361 --> 00:16:50,337
- Well, I...
- My God,

415
00:16:50,339 --> 00:16:51,538
when we're going for fried chicken,

416
00:16:51,540 --> 00:16:52,940
you're breaking the sound barrier.

417
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:55,673
All right, hold on.

418
00:16:57,970 --> 00:17:00,514
Oh, you got to be kidding me!

419
00:17:03,991 --> 00:17:05,372
I'm soaked in booze.

420
00:17:05,397 --> 00:17:06,753
He's gonna think I've been drinking.

421
00:17:06,755 --> 00:17:08,956
You got any perfume or
something to cover the smell?

422
00:17:08,958 --> 00:17:11,058
Uh... ooh, this'll work.

423
00:17:11,060 --> 00:17:12,092
This'll work, okay.

424
00:17:12,094 --> 00:17:14,161
Ow! What the hell was that?

425
00:17:14,414 --> 00:17:15,982
It's-it's lavender hair spray,

426
00:17:16,007 --> 00:17:17,404
with-with a little bit of glitter.

427
00:17:17,429 --> 00:17:19,696
It's why I look like a princess tonight.

428
00:17:21,604 --> 00:17:23,437
It's in my eyes!

429
00:17:23,891 --> 00:17:25,057
Okay, uh...

430
00:17:25,153 --> 00:17:26,707
Give me something to wipe my eyes.

431
00:17:26,709 --> 00:17:28,375
I don't... I don't have anything.

432
00:17:28,377 --> 00:17:30,754
I... here, oh, here.

433
00:17:30,779 --> 00:17:32,412
- Use my dress.
- Okay.

434
00:17:32,414 --> 00:17:33,700
Oh...

435
00:17:42,258 --> 00:17:44,258
Good evening, officer.

436
00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:47,211
Well, I pulled you over
for doing 50 in a 35,

437
00:17:47,236 --> 00:17:50,264
but by the look of things, we
have a bit more to talk about.

438
00:17:51,079 --> 00:17:52,531
Oh...

439
00:17:52,783 --> 00:17:55,235
Doesn't he look like a princess?

440
00:18:11,762 --> 00:18:12,863
Are these your parents?

441
00:18:13,417 --> 00:18:15,122
I'm afraid so.

442
00:18:18,990 --> 00:18:20,687
What do you two have
to say for yourselves?

443
00:18:23,098 --> 00:18:24,431
I'm sorry, honey.

444
00:18:24,433 --> 00:18:26,400
Oh, sure, apologize to her.

445
00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:27,887
My eyes got glittered,

446
00:18:27,912 --> 00:18:30,679
it's like I'm living in a snow globe.

447
00:18:31,424 --> 00:18:33,717
Look, me babysitting isn't gonna work

448
00:18:33,742 --> 00:18:35,609
if you can't be more responsible.

449
00:18:37,721 --> 00:18:39,124
You're right.

450
00:18:39,149 --> 00:18:40,881
Yeah.

451
00:18:40,883 --> 00:18:42,149
What was that?

452
00:18:44,175 --> 00:18:47,221
You're right. God.

453
00:18:47,223 --> 00:18:48,455
Now...

454
00:18:48,457 --> 00:18:50,224
I'm gonna put these two to bed.

455
00:18:50,603 --> 00:18:52,826
Just know, I'm not mad.

456
00:18:52,828 --> 00:18:54,261
I'm disappointed.

457
00:18:56,532 --> 00:18:58,498
We're all disappointed.

458
00:19:03,672 --> 00:19:07,040
Well, clearly Kate's
bossy enough to babysit.

459
00:19:07,358 --> 00:19:09,142
I'm sorry, honey.

460
00:19:09,144 --> 00:19:11,940
I really wanted this to
be a special night for you.

461
00:19:12,284 --> 00:19:14,640
Well, I mean, you know,
we got covered in drinks,

462
00:19:14,665 --> 00:19:16,816
covered in glitter and
detained by the police.

463
00:19:17,339 --> 00:19:20,687
Before we had kids, we would've
called that a pretty fun night.

464
00:19:21,543 --> 00:19:22,856
Yeah.

465
00:19:23,076 --> 00:19:24,801
And it's not over yet.

466
00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:27,677
I still have one more
Valentine's Day gift for you.

467
00:19:28,153 --> 00:19:29,663
But I have to give it to you upstairs.

468
00:19:30,247 --> 00:19:32,833
Oh, so the same thing
you got me last year?

469
00:19:35,012 --> 00:19:36,370
Well, it might be in a different order,

470
00:19:36,372 --> 00:19:38,305
but we end up in the same place.

471
00:19:39,332 --> 00:19:40,641
All right, let's go.

472
00:19:55,783 --> 00:19:58,258
Turns out Mind Erasers wear off.

473
00:20:00,734 --> 00:20:03,566
Get in here, you big howler monkey.

474
00:20:11,104 --> 00:20:12,837
Okay, Kate, we're headed out.

475
00:20:12,839 --> 00:20:15,273
Now remember, doors are still death

476
00:20:15,275 --> 00:20:17,656
and try to keep Teddy's
head out of the banister.

477
00:20:17,681 --> 00:20:18,847
I know he's quick.

478
00:20:19,504 --> 00:20:20,945
And, uh, call us if you need anything.

479
00:20:20,947 --> 00:20:23,081
Same deal as before,
three dollars an hour.

480
00:20:24,471 --> 00:20:26,017
I'm thinking ten.

481
00:20:26,614 --> 00:20:28,787
What? When did the price go up?

482
00:20:29,166 --> 00:20:32,190
When you bought
non-refundable movie tickets.

483
00:20:33,794 --> 00:20:35,894
Now that's how you negotiate.

484
00:20:39,027 --> 00:20:44,027
Synced and corrected by Octavia 
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