1
00:00:02,953 --> 00:00:05,358
Ugh, Don, you have got to get over this.

2
00:00:05,383 --> 00:00:06,949
I'm not buying you a Cinnabon

3
00:00:06,974 --> 00:00:09,685
every time we go see our accountant.

4
00:00:10,892 --> 00:00:11,877
It's right downstairs.

5
00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:13,545
I could smell it the whole meeting.

6
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:14,880
Now I'm just

7
00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:17,182
sitting here eating an
orange, like a hippie.

8
00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:18,898
Hey, babe.

9
00:00:18,923 --> 00:00:20,696
- Hi, Don. Hi.
- Oh, hey, honey.

10
00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,921
- I've got some good news for you.
- Yeah?

11
00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:24,799
You know that, uh,
fundraiser at my hospital

12
00:00:24,824 --> 00:00:25,824
that we're going to this weekend?

13
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,236
Oh, yeah, yeah. That party.

14
00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:29,060
Ooh.

15
00:00:29,281 --> 00:00:31,229
Where'd that cough come from?

16
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:35,500
Whoa. I hope it's not contagious,

17
00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:38,162
'cause I really am looking
forward to putting on a suit

18
00:00:38,187 --> 00:00:39,638
and talking to a bunch of strangers.

19
00:00:41,981 --> 00:00:44,653
That does sound like a
pretty bad fake cough.

20
00:00:45,442 --> 00:00:46,912
Should I call a fake ambulance

21
00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:49,848
and have some fake
doctors take a look at you?

22
00:00:50,044 --> 00:00:51,883
You think I would fake
being sick to get out

23
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,151
of going to your fundraiser?

24
00:00:53,661 --> 00:00:55,394
I am so offended. I...

25
00:00:55,419 --> 00:00:58,657
I don't think I can go
to the fundraiser anymore.

26
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:00,492
You're cute. Are you done?

27
00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:02,243
- Yeah, I'm done.
- Okay.

28
00:01:02,268 --> 00:01:05,069
The good news I was gonna tell
you is you don't have to go.

29
00:01:10,954 --> 00:01:11,837
Really?

30
00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:13,149
Okay,

31
00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:14,438
when you say I don't have to go,

32
00:01:14,463 --> 00:01:17,981
do you mean I really don't have to go

33
00:01:18,006 --> 00:01:19,466
or I don't have to go

34
00:01:19,491 --> 00:01:21,549
but I should go,

35
00:01:21,651 --> 00:01:23,282
unless I want to hear
about this a month later

36
00:01:23,307 --> 00:01:25,350
in some completely unrelated argument?

37
00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:27,588
You know what? I'm going.

38
00:01:27,613 --> 00:01:30,581
No, you really don't have to
go. Marcy said she'd go with me.

39
00:01:30,606 --> 00:01:31,672
Don't take my wife.

40
00:01:34,604 --> 00:01:36,395
You should make Adam go.

41
00:01:37,443 --> 00:01:39,074
What are you doing?

42
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,932
I'll tell you what I'm not doing:

43
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,200
eating a Cinnabon.

44
00:01:43,162 --> 00:01:44,859
My God, every week with this guy.

45
00:01:44,884 --> 00:01:46,405
Why don't you just go get one yourself?

46
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:48,674
He says it tastes better when I buy it.

47
00:01:49,612 --> 00:01:52,790
Okay, but, seriously, babe, you
are off the hook for the party.

48
00:01:52,815 --> 00:01:55,620
Marcy will keep me company.
And, plus, all my work friends

49
00:01:55,645 --> 00:01:59,117
from the lab will be there.
You know, Amy, Sarah, and Bob.

50
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,632
Oh. That sounds great.
Uh, who was that last one?

51
00:02:01,657 --> 00:02:03,824
I didn't catch her name.

52
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:05,390
Bob. He's a he.

53
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,092
We watch the same cooking shows.

54
00:02:07,345 --> 00:02:09,812
Oh, and if I get behind on an episode,

55
00:02:09,837 --> 00:02:11,574
he puts me in coffee jail.

56
00:02:13,824 --> 00:02:15,233
And that means I can't have any coffee

57
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:16,501
until I catch up.

58
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:18,270
- Ooh.
- Yeah.

59
00:02:19,021 --> 00:02:21,273
Everyone at work thinks it's hilarious.

60
00:02:21,623 --> 00:02:23,975
He sounds like a great guy.

61
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,777
Huh. Wow.

62
00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:28,013
You have come a long way.

63
00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:30,449
You know, there was a time that
you would've been very jealous

64
00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:31,817
that I had a male work friend.

65
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,652
Oh. No. Not anymore.

66
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,606
No, I left my jealous days behind

67
00:02:35,631 --> 00:02:37,989
with my jean shorts and my mullet.

68
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,292
I am a modern man now.

69
00:02:42,077 --> 00:02:44,143
Yep. That's right.

70
00:02:44,747 --> 00:02:47,599
Don, you want to help me
carry this out to my truck?

71
00:02:53,171 --> 00:02:54,265
I don't know if you noticed,

72
00:02:54,290 --> 00:02:56,157
but it doesn't really take
two guys to carry this.

73
00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:59,277
I don't like this Bob guy one bit.

74
00:02:59,279 --> 00:03:00,812
First of all, his name's Bob.

75
00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:02,781
It's the same backwards
as it is forwards.

76
00:03:03,704 --> 00:03:07,185
Y-You can't trust somebody like that.

77
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,620
You mean like Mom?

78
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:09,988
Exactly.

79
00:03:11,548 --> 00:03:14,086
Who cares if some guy
likes Andi's TV shows?

80
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:16,923
I do. 'Cause it's a move, man.

81
00:03:16,948 --> 00:03:19,064
I used the same one on
Andi when we were dating.

82
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:20,799
"You love Ally McBeal?

83
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,200
"I love Ally McBeal.

84
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,336
Let's take off our pants!"

85
00:03:25,346 --> 00:03:27,024
I think if I tried that move on Marcy,

86
00:03:27,049 --> 00:03:29,174
I'd just end up washing her pants.

87
00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:30,609
Here's the problem,

88
00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:33,044
Andi was home with the
kids for a long time.

89
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,780
Now she's back at work. I mean,

90
00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:38,583
you put that honey out there,
bears are gonna show up.

91
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:40,986
I got an idea... just don't be jealous.

92
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:43,569
I can't help it. Yes, I am sophisticated

93
00:03:43,594 --> 00:03:45,533
on the outside, okay?

94
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:48,393
But on the inside, I'm
an animal, just like you.

95
00:03:48,841 --> 00:03:51,141
- We're a couple of wild stallions.
- Mm.

96
00:03:51,443 --> 00:03:52,831
Okay, then be jealous

97
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,766
and just tell Andi you don't want
her hanging out with that guy.

98
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,134
I can't do that either.

99
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,702
She hates when I get jealous.

100
00:03:57,704 --> 00:04:00,127
Remember when we were dating
and that guy in the bar

101
00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:01,306
put his arm around her?

102
00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:03,141
Yeah. You put him in the trash can.

103
00:04:03,714 --> 00:04:05,110
Upside-down.

104
00:04:05,714 --> 00:04:07,913
I'd seen that in cartoons
but never real life.

105
00:04:09,027 --> 00:04:10,816
I actually got the idea from a cartoon.

106
00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:14,186
But she was so mad,
she broke up with me.

107
00:04:14,188 --> 00:04:15,501
So when we got back together,

108
00:04:15,526 --> 00:04:17,602
I promised I was done being jealous.

109
00:04:17,627 --> 00:04:20,067
I'm not done. I'm livin' a lie, Don.

110
00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:22,494
Hey, honey, um, how do you feel

111
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,062
about a kale salad for dinner?

112
00:04:24,267 --> 00:04:25,900
You know I love kale.

113
00:04:26,282 --> 00:04:28,593
Huh? I am a modern man

114
00:04:28,618 --> 00:04:31,203
who loves his kale.

115
00:04:31,205 --> 00:04:32,971
Okay.

116
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:35,740
Now I got to choke down
another bowl of rabbit food.

117
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,763
- What happened to you, man?
- Look,

118
00:04:38,788 --> 00:04:41,067
do me a favor, if you
see me getting jealous,

119
00:04:41,092 --> 00:04:43,148
you got to do something to stop me.

120
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:45,341
- Can I get physical?
- Yes. Usual rules:

121
00:04:45,366 --> 00:04:47,326
above the waist and... I can't
believe I have to say this...

122
00:04:47,351 --> 00:04:48,753
no biting.

123
00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:51,122
A brother waits a lifetime
for something like this.

124
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,158
Okay. Good. Yeah.

125
00:05:06,452 --> 00:05:08,090
Thanks for meeting me, Marcy.

126
00:05:08,115 --> 00:05:09,887
I love visiting you at the hospital.

127
00:05:09,889 --> 00:05:11,869
We haven't had lunch since
you went back to work.

128
00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:13,957
In the future, is it
okay if I bring wine?

129
00:05:15,017 --> 00:05:16,939
Well, you can't bring a bottle.
But if you bring a thermos,

130
00:05:16,964 --> 00:05:18,263
- whatever's in it's your business.
- Oh.

131
00:05:19,171 --> 00:05:20,365
So it's church rules.

132
00:05:21,581 --> 00:05:22,710
Sure.

133
00:05:23,874 --> 00:05:25,733
Hey, um, I wanted to
run something by you.

134
00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:27,172
- Hmm.
- Um,

135
00:05:27,174 --> 00:05:30,042
yesterday, I told Adam that
I had a guy friend at work,

136
00:05:30,044 --> 00:05:32,644
Bob, and he seemed fine with it.

137
00:05:32,646 --> 00:05:33,699
What a jerk!

138
00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:35,213
I know!

139
00:05:35,215 --> 00:05:37,215
I mean, at first, I
was... I was proud of him,

140
00:05:37,217 --> 00:05:40,327
but then I started thinking,
why is he so fine with it?

141
00:05:40,352 --> 00:05:42,187
No, no. This is totally unacceptable.

142
00:05:42,189 --> 00:05:44,134
You deserve a little jealousy, okay?

143
00:05:44,159 --> 00:05:46,482
If I was your husband,
Bob would be in a suitcase

144
00:05:46,507 --> 00:05:48,298
at the bottom of a river.

145
00:05:48,323 --> 00:05:51,136
Aw. That's sweet, Marcy.

146
00:05:52,011 --> 00:05:53,267
I don't know. Maybe it's normal.

147
00:05:53,292 --> 00:05:56,171
I mean, Adam and I have
been married for 15 years.

148
00:05:56,288 --> 00:05:58,937
And the other night, we... we made, um,

149
00:05:58,939 --> 00:06:02,441
you know, a date to fool
around, and we both fell asleep.

150
00:06:02,443 --> 00:06:04,141
- Oh.
- Yeah. That's the first time

151
00:06:04,165 --> 00:06:05,211
that's ever happened.

152
00:06:05,212 --> 00:06:07,363
It wasn't during, was
it? 'Cause if Don mistimes

153
00:06:07,388 --> 00:06:09,183
his blood pressure pill,
I'm not crawling out

154
00:06:09,208 --> 00:06:10,875
from under that until the morning.

155
00:06:12,304 --> 00:06:14,386
No, it wasn't quite like that.

156
00:06:15,561 --> 00:06:16,263
I don't know.

157
00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:18,089
Maybe I should just
talk to Adam about it.

158
00:06:18,114 --> 00:06:20,047
And, what, get pity jealousy?

159
00:06:20,072 --> 00:06:21,734
Is that what you want?

160
00:06:21,759 --> 00:06:24,326
- Oh, you know what, I want the real thing.
- Well, if you want

161
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:26,337
to mess with a man's
head, you are having lunch

162
00:06:26,362 --> 00:06:27,165
with the right person.

163
00:06:27,167 --> 00:06:29,101
Okay, here's what you do:

164
00:06:29,103 --> 00:06:31,251
you tell him that Bob is texting you.

165
00:06:31,276 --> 00:06:32,537
That'll wake Adam up.

166
00:06:33,167 --> 00:06:35,573
But Bob's my boss. He doesn't text me.

167
00:06:35,598 --> 00:06:37,431
You know who doesn't know that? Adam.

168
00:06:38,579 --> 00:06:39,924
Hey, Adam, I just got

169
00:06:39,949 --> 00:06:42,883
the funniest text from Bob.

170
00:06:44,952 --> 00:06:46,818
Damn.

171
00:06:48,155 --> 00:06:51,089
Your texts are too much, Bob.

172
00:06:51,231 --> 00:06:52,748
Aw, come on.

173
00:06:54,319 --> 00:06:55,794
Hey, uh, careful you
don't shock yourself,

174
00:06:55,796 --> 00:06:57,629
there's a bare spot on that cord.

175
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,166
I touched it.

176
00:07:01,168 --> 00:07:02,401
I was gonna fix it,

177
00:07:02,403 --> 00:07:04,770
but I knew you were gonna do that.

178
00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:07,539
Hold on, my heart stopped beating.

179
00:07:08,626 --> 00:07:10,142
There it goes. Okay, we're back.

180
00:07:10,144 --> 00:07:11,752
Yeah, hey, you didn't tell Marcy

181
00:07:11,777 --> 00:07:13,043
what we talked about, did you?

182
00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:14,703
About Andi and that guy at work?

183
00:07:14,728 --> 00:07:15,772
Oh, don't tell me it's a secret.

184
00:07:15,797 --> 00:07:17,226
I cannot keep a secret from Marcy.

185
00:07:17,251 --> 00:07:18,160
She senses it,

186
00:07:18,185 --> 00:07:20,028
like an old sailor senses a storm.

187
00:07:20,317 --> 00:07:21,783
But you lie to her all the time.

188
00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:23,308
And she catches me all the time.

189
00:07:23,557 --> 00:07:24,623
Well, that's not true.

190
00:07:24,625 --> 00:07:25,565
She still doesn't know about

191
00:07:25,590 --> 00:07:27,336
our secret fishing boat up at the lake.

192
00:07:27,361 --> 00:07:28,972
Both our wives are in
the dark on that one.

193
00:07:28,997 --> 00:07:30,632
Well, I was only able
to keep that a secret

194
00:07:30,657 --> 00:07:32,623
because I never paid
for my half of the boat.

195
00:07:32,648 --> 00:07:34,415
Not my boat, not my secret.

196
00:07:34,911 --> 00:07:36,067
See how I did that?

197
00:07:36,069 --> 00:07:38,236
Hmm, yeah, someone
should study your brain.

198
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:40,210
Okay, just keep your mouth shut.

199
00:07:40,306 --> 00:07:41,458
- Hey, babe,
- Huh?

200
00:07:41,483 --> 00:07:42,808
dinner's gonna be ready soon.

201
00:07:43,911 --> 00:07:45,811
I'm sorry I'm laughing. I just...

202
00:07:45,813 --> 00:07:47,712
I got the funniest text from Bob.

203
00:07:49,257 --> 00:07:52,060
You know, i-it's actually
weird that he's funny,

204
00:07:52,085 --> 00:07:53,181
because, I mean, you wouldn't think that

205
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,693
someone that does triathlons

206
00:07:54,718 --> 00:07:56,318
would have a sense of humor.

207
00:07:56,490 --> 00:07:59,334
Wow, he runs, he bikes, he swims.

208
00:07:59,359 --> 00:08:01,192
I hope the sharks don't get him.

209
00:08:02,229 --> 00:08:03,550
You know, you should hear

210
00:08:03,575 --> 00:08:05,831
his stories about trying
to find bicycle pants

211
00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:07,819
that are big enough to
fit his muscular thighs...

212
00:08:07,844 --> 00:08:09,601
I mean, they're hilarious.

213
00:08:10,704 --> 00:08:13,071
And touching.

214
00:08:13,633 --> 00:08:14,506
Okay...

215
00:08:18,109 --> 00:08:20,075
Oh, what happened there?

216
00:08:20,077 --> 00:08:21,310
You seem mad.

217
00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:25,291
N-no. No, no. No, Don

218
00:08:25,316 --> 00:08:26,615
accidentally shocked me...

219
00:08:26,617 --> 00:08:28,350
too much.

220
00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:30,919
Oh, okay, well,

221
00:08:30,921 --> 00:08:32,454
I guess I'll just go finish dinner.

222
00:08:32,456 --> 00:08:33,355
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

223
00:08:33,357 --> 00:08:35,357
Pound that chicken flat.

224
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:37,960
Did you hear what she said?

225
00:08:37,962 --> 00:08:41,263
Bob and his giant thighs
are texting her now.

226
00:08:41,924 --> 00:08:43,101
I'm starting to root for Bob,

227
00:08:43,126 --> 00:08:44,559
he sounds like a winner.

228
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,760
I got no reaction out of Adam!

229
00:08:49,827 --> 00:08:50,953
I mean, I did everything short of

230
00:08:50,978 --> 00:08:52,818
telling him that Bob
and I were slow dancing

231
00:08:52,843 --> 00:08:54,743
in the cafeteria.

232
00:08:55,148 --> 00:08:57,079
Well, maybe you just
have to accept the fact

233
00:08:57,081 --> 00:08:58,719
that things are different now.

234
00:08:58,744 --> 00:09:01,560
Marcy,

235
00:09:01,947 --> 00:09:03,112
I did not call you

236
00:09:03,137 --> 00:09:05,115
to get a levelheaded and fair assessment

237
00:09:05,140 --> 00:09:06,688
of the situation.

238
00:09:06,690 --> 00:09:08,290
You're right, my bad.

239
00:09:08,292 --> 00:09:08,988
Okay,

240
00:09:09,013 --> 00:09:10,359
maybe I can get some intel

241
00:09:10,361 --> 00:09:11,627
from Don, but in the meantime,

242
00:09:11,629 --> 00:09:13,429
you-you got to kick it up a notch.

243
00:09:13,749 --> 00:09:14,891
It's like with dogs,

244
00:09:14,916 --> 00:09:16,465
okay? You can't just put the food out

245
00:09:16,467 --> 00:09:17,966
and expect that they'll find it.

246
00:09:17,968 --> 00:09:19,845
You got to shake the bowl.

247
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,204
Oh, I'm gonna shake my bowl.

248
00:09:23,407 --> 00:09:24,506
Wait, am I the food

249
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:26,498
or the bowl?

250
00:09:26,908 --> 00:09:29,355
Well, I'm not the dog, am I?

251
00:09:29,994 --> 00:09:33,081
This guy Bob is definitely
flirting with Andi now.

252
00:09:33,083 --> 00:09:34,653
Well, are you flirting with her?

253
00:09:34,762 --> 00:09:35,628
Yeah,

254
00:09:35,653 --> 00:09:37,953
sometimes I walk around
with my robe open.

255
00:09:38,898 --> 00:09:40,989
That's not flirting, that's just sloppy.

256
00:09:40,991 --> 00:09:42,691
You need to get back in the game.

257
00:09:42,693 --> 00:09:44,927
Hey, text her a sexy picture.

258
00:09:45,423 --> 00:09:46,126
Really?

259
00:09:46,151 --> 00:09:47,729
Yeah, it's called sexting.

260
00:09:47,731 --> 00:09:49,698
What do you know about sexting?

261
00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:52,267
I like to dip my toe in popular culture.

262
00:09:52,269 --> 00:09:54,603
Actually,

263
00:09:54,605 --> 00:09:56,505
a picture's not a bad idea.

264
00:09:56,812 --> 00:09:58,140
I think getting shocked by that cord

265
00:09:58,142 --> 00:10:00,642
might have fired a neuron
or two up in your attic.

266
00:10:00,644 --> 00:10:02,211
Look, all you need to do is remind her

267
00:10:02,213 --> 00:10:03,940
that she's got this slightly faded stud

268
00:10:03,965 --> 00:10:05,324
waiting for her at home.

269
00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:06,650
Well, if I'm faded,

270
00:10:06,675 --> 00:10:07,974
then what the hell are you?

271
00:10:08,389 --> 00:10:09,544
I do all right.

272
00:10:14,059 --> 00:10:16,368
This is stupid; I feel ridiculous.

273
00:10:16,370 --> 00:10:19,309
I could tell. I'm not feeling the sexy.

274
00:10:19,334 --> 00:10:21,629
Okay, I'm gonna give
you one smoldering look,

275
00:10:21,654 --> 00:10:23,254
because I know that works for me.

276
00:10:23,548 --> 00:10:24,951
And you're gonna take
a picture on my phone,

277
00:10:24,976 --> 00:10:26,972
and then we are never
gonna speak of this again.

278
00:10:26,997 --> 00:10:29,004
- You ready?
- Yeah.

279
00:10:36,447 --> 00:10:38,981
- Okay. Actually, that's not bad.
- Oh.

280
00:10:38,983 --> 00:10:40,382
Okay, I'm gonna send it.

281
00:10:40,384 --> 00:10:42,718
And... oops.

282
00:10:43,751 --> 00:10:45,721
- Who's Alicia?
- What?

283
00:10:45,723 --> 00:10:48,757
I accidentally sent it to
someone named Alicia Rodriguez.

284
00:10:48,759 --> 00:10:50,926
That's Emme's kindergarten teacher.

285
00:10:50,928 --> 00:10:52,898
Her name is right next
to Andi's on your phone.

286
00:10:52,923 --> 00:10:54,059
These fat fingers, I'm telling you.

287
00:10:54,084 --> 00:10:56,064
That picture's gonna go
around the whole school.

288
00:10:56,507 --> 00:10:57,818
I can fix it, I can fix it.

289
00:10:57,843 --> 00:10:59,601
Hold on... Oops.

290
00:10:59,603 --> 00:11:00,702
Oops, again?

291
00:11:01,257 --> 00:11:02,542
I was texting to say sorry,

292
00:11:02,567 --> 00:11:04,450
and it autocorrected to salami.

293
00:11:04,877 --> 00:11:06,642
Give me that.

294
00:11:14,462 --> 00:11:15,975
Okay, kids. Let's move it along.

295
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,033
We're wheels up in five minutes.

296
00:11:18,481 --> 00:11:21,316
Sorry my shoes are so loud.

297
00:11:21,341 --> 00:11:23,074
High heels.

298
00:11:24,473 --> 00:11:26,222
You never wear high heels to work.

299
00:11:26,247 --> 00:11:27,453
Well, I dressed up.

300
00:11:28,114 --> 00:11:29,211
Why?

301
00:11:29,832 --> 00:11:31,779
Well, it's the finale
of the cooking show

302
00:11:31,804 --> 00:11:32,751
that Bob and I watch,

303
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:33,868
so he's taking me out

304
00:11:33,893 --> 00:11:34,868
for a, you know,

305
00:11:34,893 --> 00:11:37,063
a special lunch to celebrate.

306
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,107
Just the two of us.

307
00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:46,929
Got to love that Bob.

308
00:11:46,931 --> 00:11:48,697
- Great.
- Great.

309
00:11:56,067 --> 00:11:58,567
Oh. Uh, I'm sorry, buddy.

310
00:11:58,592 --> 00:12:01,226
Let me clean you up a little bit.

311
00:12:06,214 --> 00:12:07,288
Okay, turn around.

312
00:12:07,313 --> 00:12:09,881
Let's just go, uh, up.

313
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:13,246
So, um,

314
00:12:13,271 --> 00:12:14,813
has Adam ever said anything to you

315
00:12:14,838 --> 00:12:16,640
about Andi's friend, Bob?

316
00:12:17,593 --> 00:12:18,627
Let me think.

317
00:12:18,928 --> 00:12:20,729
Are you saying "Bob" or "Rob"?

318
00:12:21,303 --> 00:12:24,036
- Bob. B-O-B. 
- Todd?

319
00:12:25,496 --> 00:12:27,403
Are you trying to
hide something from me?

320
00:12:27,405 --> 00:12:29,442
No. And you're not gonna
get the secret out of me.

321
00:12:29,467 --> 00:12:30,515
I'm like a rock.

322
00:12:30,540 --> 00:12:32,006
So there is a secret.

323
00:12:33,838 --> 00:12:35,077
Okay, I see what I did there.

324
00:12:35,079 --> 00:12:37,646
Okay. Spill it, Don.

325
00:12:37,648 --> 00:12:39,201
Fine. You want the secret?

326
00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:41,226
Adam's gonna kill me, but okay.

327
00:12:42,335 --> 00:12:43,646
We have a secret fishing boat

328
00:12:43,671 --> 00:12:45,473
we never told you about.

329
00:12:46,777 --> 00:12:47,878
You want to know my secret?

330
00:12:47,903 --> 00:12:50,125
I've known about that
boat for six months.

331
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,502
Wow, no keeping anything from you.

332
00:12:53,794 --> 00:12:54,793
So,

333
00:12:55,026 --> 00:12:56,499
nothing about Bob?

334
00:12:56,908 --> 00:12:57,907
Rod?

335
00:12:57,932 --> 00:12:59,298
Don!

336
00:12:59,323 --> 00:13:00,488
Well, I'm Don.

337
00:13:03,673 --> 00:13:04,774
- Bye, Dad.
- Bye, Dad.

338
00:13:04,799 --> 00:13:05,640
- Bye, Dad. 
- Bye-bye, bye.

339
00:13:05,665 --> 00:13:07,971
Have a good day. All right, bye.

340
00:13:10,092 --> 00:13:12,225
Good morning, Burns.

341
00:13:13,149 --> 00:13:15,217
Good morning, Mrs. Rodriguez.

342
00:13:19,686 --> 00:13:22,257
I'm glad everyone enjoyed
the motorcycle picture.

343
00:13:22,282 --> 00:13:24,218
Yeah, we had a little caption contest.

344
00:13:24,243 --> 00:13:27,796
Mine was, "Born to be
wild-ly embarrassed."

345
00:13:28,786 --> 00:13:30,726
Okay, that picture was
supposed to be for my wife,

346
00:13:30,751 --> 00:13:33,102
but mistakes were made.

347
00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:36,347
Why are you taking pictures
of yourself on a motorcycle?

348
00:13:36,372 --> 00:13:38,741
Besides to delight me.

349
00:13:38,743 --> 00:13:40,209
I'm not talking to you about it.

350
00:13:40,211 --> 00:13:41,977
From now on, I'm not
talking to anyone about it,

351
00:13:42,002 --> 00:13:43,762
except Andi, which is
what I should have done

352
00:13:43,787 --> 00:13:44,770
in the first place.

353
00:13:44,795 --> 00:13:46,043
So, I'm gonna go find her at work

354
00:13:46,068 --> 00:13:47,249
and settle this whole thing.

355
00:13:47,251 --> 00:13:48,700
All right, and I'm see how much it costs

356
00:13:48,725 --> 00:13:50,325
to rent a billboard.

357
00:13:52,401 --> 00:13:54,979
Okay, Bob, I finished
processing these samples

358
00:13:55,004 --> 00:13:56,809
and I'm gonna go grab a cup of coffee.

359
00:13:56,834 --> 00:13:57,637
You want some?

360
00:13:57,662 --> 00:13:58,727
Uh...

361
00:13:58,729 --> 00:14:00,195
oxygen potassium.

362
00:14:00,658 --> 00:14:02,506
- What?
- From the periodic table.

363
00:14:02,531 --> 00:14:03,856
They're "O" and "K."

364
00:14:03,881 --> 00:14:04,733
Oh.

365
00:14:04,735 --> 00:14:06,366
That's a good one,

366
00:14:06,391 --> 00:14:07,490
- Bob.
- Yeah.

367
00:14:07,515 --> 00:14:08,871
- Yeah, yeah,
- Oxygen...

368
00:14:08,873 --> 00:14:10,397
yeah, yeah, yeah.

369
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:14,457
You must be Bob.

370
00:14:14,482 --> 00:14:15,538
Yeah, that's right.

371
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,150
Yeah.

372
00:14:17,175 --> 00:14:18,571
Yeah...

373
00:14:22,790 --> 00:14:24,019
Yeah,

374
00:14:24,182 --> 00:14:26,290
let's get a look at
those muscular thighs.

375
00:14:26,315 --> 00:14:28,023
Huh?

376
00:14:28,408 --> 00:14:30,163
They're not so great.
You want to see my thighs?

377
00:14:30,188 --> 00:14:31,926
Uh, no.

378
00:14:32,387 --> 00:14:33,996
Let's put our thighs against each other.

379
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:36,332
Thigh to thigh. Come
on, Bob, let's do this.

380
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:37,433
Who are you?

381
00:14:37,435 --> 00:14:39,028
I'm Andi's husband, now hold still.

382
00:14:39,053 --> 00:14:40,152
No, you first.

383
00:14:41,809 --> 00:14:44,050
Okay, listen, pal. I don't like you

384
00:14:44,075 --> 00:14:47,406
watching TV shows with my wife.

385
00:14:48,140 --> 00:14:48,877
Okay? I don't like you

386
00:14:48,879 --> 00:14:50,579
having special lunches with her,

387
00:14:51,898 --> 00:14:53,350
or making her wear high heels.

388
00:14:53,375 --> 00:14:55,584
I think there's been a misunderstanding.

389
00:14:55,586 --> 00:14:57,746
Oh, look at that, you're
right next to a big trash can.

390
00:14:57,771 --> 00:14:59,036
You ever watch cartoons?

391
00:15:01,603 --> 00:15:02,224
Adam?

392
00:15:02,226 --> 00:15:03,492
W-What are you doing here?

393
00:15:03,494 --> 00:15:04,584
I'm just letting this guy know

394
00:15:04,609 --> 00:15:06,739
it's not okay to text
another man's wife.

395
00:15:06,764 --> 00:15:08,397
I never texted her.

396
00:15:08,399 --> 00:15:11,967
Oh, you just keep walking
into problems, Bob.

397
00:15:12,084 --> 00:15:13,985
Andi told me about the texts.

398
00:15:14,010 --> 00:15:15,607
Right, Andi? Andi, I'm right, right?

399
00:15:15,632 --> 00:15:16,639
Andi, am I right?

400
00:15:18,302 --> 00:15:19,942
Okay, um...

401
00:15:20,194 --> 00:15:21,393
...funny story.

402
00:15:21,418 --> 00:15:22,817
Um...

403
00:15:22,970 --> 00:15:24,454
I-I may have mentioned

404
00:15:24,479 --> 00:15:25,758
that Bob was texting me...

405
00:15:27,110 --> 00:15:28,439
...but that was a...

406
00:15:28,464 --> 00:15:29,918
a slight exaggeration

407
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,720
in-in the sense that, um,

408
00:15:32,105 --> 00:15:34,867
h-he never did anything like that, ever.

409
00:15:36,273 --> 00:15:38,027
Where's the funny part to that story?

410
00:15:38,503 --> 00:15:40,437
Oh, well, um, the funny part is,

411
00:15:40,462 --> 00:15:42,729
he's my boss, Bob Thompson.

412
00:15:44,227 --> 00:15:45,416
That is funny.

413
00:15:46,865 --> 00:15:49,299
Well, that is funny.

414
00:15:49,805 --> 00:15:51,040
And I hope that one day,

415
00:15:51,042 --> 00:15:52,239
we'll can look back on this

416
00:15:52,264 --> 00:15:53,552
and laugh.

417
00:15:54,812 --> 00:15:57,179
I'll do whatever you want.

418
00:15:57,181 --> 00:16:00,282
A-And I also hope that
this little misunderstanding

419
00:16:00,284 --> 00:16:02,518
won't cause a problem with Andi's job.

420
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:05,187
No, no, her... her job is safe.

421
00:16:05,189 --> 00:16:06,789
Uh, we may tighten up our

422
00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:09,024
"no spouses at work" policy.

423
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,280
Oh...

424
00:16:15,305 --> 00:16:16,604
Andi, what are you doing to me?

425
00:16:16,629 --> 00:16:17,232
Well, I...

426
00:16:17,234 --> 00:16:19,034
I don't know.

427
00:16:19,958 --> 00:16:21,121
Okay,

428
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:23,949
w-when I mentioned that I
had a guy friend at work,

429
00:16:24,314 --> 00:16:25,607
you didn't seem to care.

430
00:16:26,183 --> 00:16:27,642
Didn't care?

431
00:16:27,667 --> 00:16:28,999
Well, I cared a lot!

432
00:16:29,024 --> 00:16:30,179
I was going crazy!

433
00:16:30,387 --> 00:16:32,248
Well, why didn't you say something?

434
00:16:32,273 --> 00:16:34,644
Because you hate it when I get jealous.

435
00:16:34,669 --> 00:16:36,809
Well, I hated it when we were in our 20s

436
00:16:36,834 --> 00:16:38,326
and guys were hitting
on me all the time.

437
00:16:38,351 --> 00:16:39,424
Guys were hitting on you all the time?

438
00:16:39,449 --> 00:16:40,915
Who were these guys? Are they tall?

439
00:16:42,174 --> 00:16:42,791
See,

440
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:44,136
that's what I was looking for.

441
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:45,561
What?

442
00:16:45,563 --> 00:16:48,831
Well, a little jealousy is nice.

443
00:16:50,026 --> 00:16:52,370
Wha... since when?

444
00:16:52,395 --> 00:16:54,903
Apparently, the older I
get, the more I'm gonna need.

445
00:16:55,972 --> 00:16:57,973
Good...

446
00:16:57,975 --> 00:16:59,861
'cause I am tired of pretending

447
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:01,176
to be someone I'm not.

448
00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:02,796
I'm a jealous man.

449
00:17:03,375 --> 00:17:04,434
And I'll tell you another thing:

450
00:17:04,459 --> 00:17:05,725
I don't like kale.

451
00:17:06,070 --> 00:17:07,366
I don't like kale, either.

452
00:17:07,391 --> 00:17:09,418
Then why are we eating yard clippings?

453
00:17:10,318 --> 00:17:11,822
Because we're supposed to like it.

454
00:17:11,847 --> 00:17:14,201
Just like I'm supposed to get
my confidence from the inside

455
00:17:14,226 --> 00:17:16,581
and you're supposed to be
so secure in our marriage

456
00:17:16,606 --> 00:17:18,539
that you don't care
who I'm friends with.

457
00:17:19,667 --> 00:17:20,741
That sounds like

458
00:17:20,766 --> 00:17:22,633
something they do in France!

459
00:17:23,388 --> 00:17:24,967
This is America, damn it.

460
00:17:24,969 --> 00:17:28,036
We are jealous, insecure, kale haters.

461
00:17:30,043 --> 00:17:31,244
I love you.

462
00:17:32,732 --> 00:17:33,998
I love you, too.

463
00:17:34,981 --> 00:17:36,447
Oh, by the way,

464
00:17:36,587 --> 00:17:39,567
I texted Mrs. Rodriguez
a sexy photo of myself.

465
00:17:39,653 --> 00:17:41,151
And, uh, the word "salami."

466
00:17:41,176 --> 00:17:42,923
So, there might be
some fallout from that.

467
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:45,127
But, uh, okay, here we go.

468
00:17:47,096 --> 00:17:48,663
_

469
00:17:54,728 --> 00:17:56,180
So, after all of this,

470
00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:58,463
we have decided to be completely
honest with each other.

471
00:17:58,488 --> 00:18:00,652
- That's right, no more secrets.
- Mm.

472
00:18:00,677 --> 00:18:02,955
I like that, Don. We
should do that, too.

473
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,623
Hey, I'm way ahead of you, baby.

474
00:18:04,648 --> 00:18:07,048
That's why I told you
about Adam's secret boat.

475
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:11,980
Don!

476
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:13,425
W-What boat?

477
00:18:13,869 --> 00:18:15,301
You said there's no secrets.

478
00:18:15,326 --> 00:18:17,293
I meant no new secrets.

479
00:18:18,407 --> 00:18:19,988
Wait, you bought a
boat without telling me?

480
00:18:19,990 --> 00:18:21,456
Ooh, that's bad.

481
00:18:22,496 --> 00:18:23,495
Oh, yeah?

482
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,819
Marcy, Don bought your engagement ring

483
00:18:25,844 --> 00:18:27,510
from a mortician.

484
00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:29,998
What?

485
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,167
Oh, that's worse!

486
00:18:33,158 --> 00:18:35,504
Hey, the dearly departed
didn't need it anymore.

487
00:18:35,825 --> 00:18:36,657
It's not like they

488
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:38,040
cut it off her finger.

489
00:18:56,763 --> 00:18:57,896
What's so funny?

490
00:18:57,898 --> 00:18:59,998
Have you looked at your
passenger side door lately?

491
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,032
No, why?

492
00:19:01,034 --> 00:19:02,519
What happened there?

493
00:19:06,039 --> 00:19:07,439
Don.

494
00:19:11,111 --> 00:19:13,945
I bet that's payback for the mortician.

495
00:19:14,393 --> 00:19:17,415
"Honk if you think I'm sexy."

496
00:19:18,379 --> 00:19:21,419
Hey, I didn't get a single honk!

497
00:19:22,990 --> 00:19:25,357
- I'm going back out there.
- Oh...

498
00:19:28,357 --> 00:19:33,357
Synced and corrected by Octavia 
- www.addic7ed.com -