1
00:00:02,203 --> 00:00:03,543
BOTH: Go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, yeah!
2
00:00:03,537 --> 00:00:04,597
(whoops)
3
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:05,695
Oh, this is the life, huh?
4
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:08,166
A couple beers, game on TV.
5
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:09,235
Yeah, I opened
a bottle of wine
6
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:10,343
in the kitchen
for the ladies.
7
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,484
They should be good
for an hour.
8
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:15,154
More like a half hour.
9
00:00:16,083 --> 00:00:19,723
Yeah, I may need
to feed the meter.
10
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,390
Change the channel, we want
to watch that dancing show.
11
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:25,090
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
12
00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:27,262
Daddy and Uncle Don
are watching football.
13
00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:29,061
So no talking.
14
00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:32,432
Who's that guy?
15
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,603
Teddy, that's talking.
16
00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:37,102
Commercial! Switch it
to the dancing show.
17
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:39,374
No, no, if I switch it,
it'll never go back.
18
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:40,643
I used that trick
on your mother
19
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,211
during the Royal Wedding.
20
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:43,809
Just watch
21
00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:45,141
the commercials.
That's right.
22
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:47,276
It's good for the economy.
Mm.
23
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:52,823
Hey, look, that old guy
just took a blue pill.
24
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,558
And now that
lady likes him.
25
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:02,260
What kind of pill
is that, Uncle Don?
26
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:09,474
Oh, it's a magical pill.
27
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:14,172
What does it do?
28
00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:20,209
And we're out.
Yep.
29
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:23,676
Okay, remember the blue pill.
30
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,154
We can use that again.
31
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:28,250
Oh, hey, we had a great idea.
32
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,185
We're starting a book club.
33
00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:30,190
Yeah, you want to hear about it?
34
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:32,261
Keep walking, keep walking.
35
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:35,855
Well, this isn't so bad.
36
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:37,863
We can still see the game
through our neighbor's window.
37
00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:39,125
Yeah.
38
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:41,203
And old man Ferguson
39
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:43,772
isn't wearing pants.
40
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:46,671
Neither is Mrs. Ferguson.
41
00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:48,274
Maybe just go ahead
and turn this way
42
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,375
for a little while.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
43
00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:52,507
You know, I can't believe
we're stuck out here.
44
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,283
We need a place to hang.
45
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:55,511
You know, nothing fancy.
46
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:57,116
Just a place
with some walls
47
00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:58,578
where we can look
in any direction
48
00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:00,186
and not be scarred for life.
49
00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:03,489
Hey... why don't we
fix up your garage?
50
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:04,821
It'd be perfect.
51
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,825
Don, don't even bother.
52
00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:12,358
Our problem may be
solved after all.
53
00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:14,826
Looks like your wife's
packing up to leave you.
54
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:17,800
No, she just...
55
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:20,165
she just never throws
anything away, ever.
56
00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:21,274
All right, come on, let's just
start throwing this junk out.
57
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:23,175
No, no, no, no, we can't.
58
00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:24,277
Andi will lose her mind.
59
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,348
There'd be a lot of yelling.
60
00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:28,607
But you won't hear it,
'cause you'll be out here.
61
00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:31,876
Besides, you worked your butt
off when she went back to work.
62
00:02:31,886 --> 00:02:33,186
Where's your payback?
63
00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:34,487
Well, my payback
is supposed to be
64
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,188
spending more time
with the kids.
65
00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:38,690
She made it sound
like a fun thing.
66
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,392
Think about what
we could do out here.
67
00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:42,534
We could get an old motorcycle
and fix it up.
68
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,330
Like we used to do
in high school.
69
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:45,661
Yeah, come on, let's do it.
70
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,366
Tell Andi to get
her stuff out of here.
71
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:49,738
Yeah, yeah, she doesn't
get to decide.
72
00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:50,837
No, sir, she does not!
73
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,268
No, I decide.
74
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:53,843
And I've decided
we're doing it.
75
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:54,811
Damn straight.
Yeah!
76
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,238
Andi needs to know
77
00:02:56,243 --> 00:02:58,683
that the garage
is a man's place.
78
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,809
What's that, honey?
Oh, uh, nothing, sweetie.
79
00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:02,484
Drinky-drinky, love you.
80
00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:17,932
Okay, Andi, when
you look at this...
81
00:03:17,932 --> 00:03:21,602
how do you feel?
82
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:23,472
I love it.
83
00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:26,368
These are our memories.
84
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:29,273
It makes me feel safe and warm.
85
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:30,436
It might make you
feel warm 'cause
86
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:33,254
it's a fire hazard.
87
00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:35,207
I say we clean all
this stuff out of here
88
00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:37,446
so Don and I can have
a hangout and,
89
00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:41,521
I don't know, maybe rebuild
an old motorcycle.
90
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:44,657
You have got to be kidding me.
91
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,458
You want me to throw out
all my stuff
92
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:49,330
so you and your brother
can have a motorcycle fort?
93
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,630
Well, we're not
calling it that.
94
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,532
Look, you told me
when you went
95
00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:55,474
back to work I'd get
more time with the kids,
96
00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:56,839
and that would be
a fun thing.
97
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:58,637
Can we both agree
98
00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,639
that that was a lie?
99
00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:02,541
Yes, that was a lie.
100
00:04:02,543 --> 00:04:05,813
I just, I need a spot
to decompress.
101
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:07,613
You already have the bathroom.
102
00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,545
Every time I go in there,
103
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,720
Emme sings to me
through the door.
104
00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:13,549
Now, whenever I hear
"The Wheels on the Bus,"
105
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:15,594
it triggers something.
106
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:19,559
Look, Andi, I'm asking you
to do this for me.
107
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,560
Fine.
108
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:22,962
Let's try and clean
this place out,
109
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:26,333
so you can have
your dork fort.
110
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:28,503
Great, but we're not
calling it that, either.
111
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:32,472
Okay, first up is, uh...
okay, camping gear.
112
00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:36,443
Huh? Only used once.
Total disaster.
113
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:39,343
Teddy ate too many s'mores,
and then he threw up.
114
00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:41,276
Then Emme saw his throw-up,
115
00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:42,652
and then she threw up.
116
00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:46,350
And then Katie fainted
into the throw-up.
117
00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:48,793
See, that is a great
family story,
118
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,689
which you remembered because
you saw the camping gear.
119
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:52,321
It stays.
120
00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:54,526
Okay, uh...
121
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:56,298
Okay, this should be easy.
122
00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:57,527
No one could
possibly care about
123
00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:59,831
a giant container of wine corks.
(gasps)
124
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:02,773
My corks!
125
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:05,440
Martha Stewart has all kinds
of ideas for these.
126
00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:07,869
I'm gonna make
a wine-cork collage someday.
127
00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:09,935
Is it gonna be a picture of you
passed out on the kitchen table?
128
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:15,747
Okay, so, six hours of work,
129
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,379
and the only thing
that left the garage
130
00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:19,484
was a cricket that
hopped out on its own.
131
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,424
Honey, I think you might be
like one of those people
132
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:23,723
on that TV show
you make me watch.
133
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:26,594
Don't say Hoarders.
I am not a hoarder.
134
00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:29,563
I love you too much
to say the name of the show
135
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:31,633
that describes you perfectly.
136
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:35,898
Honey,
137
00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:38,773
the other night,
I was banished to the driveway.
138
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:42,512
And Don and I witnessed
Mr. and Mrs. Ferguson
139
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:45,479
making old, grey,
140
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:48,609
surprisingly agile love.
141
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:51,775
Is your stuff
really worth all that?
142
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,815
I know you want me to say no.
143
00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:55,451
Oh, come on, Andi.
144
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:57,816
Most of it's just junk.
Okay, but...
145
00:05:57,825 --> 00:05:59,825
what if while we're
throwing out the junk,
146
00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:01,787
we accidentally throw out
something important?
147
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:04,355
You see, the junk keeps
all the important stuff safe.
148
00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:06,895
It's like padding.
149
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,795
Yeah. You know, uh...
150
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,703
before we got married,
151
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,735
your dad wanted to have
a little talk with me.
152
00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:17,611
And I never did it, and now
I know what it was about.
153
00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:20,552
Look, I want to do this.
154
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:21,807
I want you to have
your own space.
155
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:24,545
It's just...
it's really hard for me.
156
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,591
Then let me make this easy.
I'll clean out the garage
157
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,687
on my own, and you don't
have to worry about a thing.
158
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,589
(scoffs) You would have
no idea what to throw away
159
00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:32,021
and what to keep.
160
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:33,015
Well, don't you trust me?
161
00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:34,556
No! Not at all.
162
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,079
I'm sorry.
163
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:38,430
Have I been unclear?
164
00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:41,872
Wow. Hoarders are mean.
165
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:44,736
Honey, I'm sorry, okay?
166
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:47,168
Look, (sighs)
I clearly have a problem.
167
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:51,784
We... Well, that's very
brave of you to admit.
168
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:52,979
And I think
the only way out of this--
169
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,850
I mean, as far
as I can see--
170
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,778
is that, uh,
we meet back here
171
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:58,954
in a year and continue
this discussion.
172
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:06,691
If you have a minute,
I'd like to talk more
173
00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:09,093
about this blue pill?
174
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:18,569
Let's meet back here in a year,
and we'll talk about it.
175
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,837
So, Andi didn't want us
cleaning out the garage,
176
00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:27,176
and we're doing it anyway?
177
00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:28,781
No, no. She does want it.
178
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,622
She just doesn't know
she wants it.
179
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,617
Like, when she threw out
my cargo pants.
180
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:33,849
Oh, don't tell the cargo pants
story again, please.
181
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:35,754
I love my cargo pants.
(groans)
182
00:07:35,756 --> 00:07:39,086
So many pockets,
and zippers,
183
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:42,232
and snaps and Velcro,
and I had them in every color.
184
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:45,059
I had them in light khaki,
dark khaki, khaki.
185
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,865
I had them in tan,
light tan, dark tan.
186
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:50,768
And then one day,
Andi just threw them away.
187
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:53,941
And at first, I was mad.
But then I noticed,
188
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:56,941
I wasn't getting caught
on doorknobs anymore.
189
00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:59,744
Literally,
the most boring story ever.
190
00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:01,846
My point is she helped me,
191
00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:03,219
even though I didn't know
I needed help,
192
00:08:03,217 --> 00:08:04,877
and now I'm helping her.
193
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:07,515
And if I'm careful,
and I save the right stuff,
194
00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:09,051
I'm sure she'll be happy.
195
00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:10,986
If you're so sure,
why are we sneaking around
196
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,521
while she's at book club?
197
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:13,856
Because I'm not sure.
198
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,131
I'm just doing it anyway.
199
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,900
Oh! Check it out!
200
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:21,669
Motorcycle's coming today.
Wait till you see it.
201
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,968
A '61 Triumph, just like
the kind Steve McQueen had.
202
00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:25,041
Whoa.
Yeah?
203
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,538
You know what that makes us?
204
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:29,540
Exactly as cool
as Steve McQueen.
205
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:30,713
Oh, spider web, spider web.
206
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:33,851
Oh! Spider! Spider! Don, get it.
207
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:34,877
Get it together.
208
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,152
We're motorcycle people now.
209
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:38,549
Yeah.
All right, we got
a lot of boxes here
210
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:39,892
with old clothes-- what do you
want me to do with these?
211
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,387
(sighs)
Keep or donate?
212
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:42,888
I don't know.
This is taking too long.
213
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:44,920
We got to be done by the time
Andi gets back, so just...
214
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:47,025
donate, donate, donate
and hurry.
215
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,027
I'm hurrying. If you didn't
tell that cargo pants story,
216
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,259
we'd be done by now.
217
00:08:50,264 --> 00:08:52,964
I had cargo shorts, too,
you know.
218
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,596
Oh, I'd love to
hear about that.
219
00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:56,101
Oh, yeah, they were great.
Oh, yeah?
220
00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:58,173
Zip-off legs, yeah.
Oh, sweet.
221
00:08:59,273 --> 00:09:00,913
You don't think
222
00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:03,008
this bike is me having
a mid-life crisis, do you?
223
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,710
No! No, no.
You're way past mid-life.
224
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:06,782
Oh, good.
225
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,250
Hey.
226
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:09,978
Hey, fellas.
227
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,153
Don, you know Lowell, right?
228
00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:12,320
Sure, he's the dad from school
229
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:14,849
who imprinted on you
like a baby duck.
230
00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:18,085
Your brother's really had a
bracing, masculine effect on me.
231
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:19,561
Today, when my wife
232
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,690
said good morning,
I just grunted at her.
233
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:22,955
It was not well received.
234
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:25,133
Hoping I can hang here a while.
235
00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:27,272
Sure. Oh, here comes Andi.
236
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:30,097
Start a wine club.
BOTH: Ooh!
237
00:09:31,305 --> 00:09:33,635
What did you do?
238
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:34,840
Okay, before you freak out...
239
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:35,971
No, no. What happened here?
240
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:37,676
Where's all my stuff?
241
00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:39,038
Let me explain.
No, no, no. You just...
242
00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:40,146
you threw it all out?
243
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:42,347
No! Well, yeah.
244
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:45,349
Look, I only did it because
I felt like you couldn't,
245
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:47,722
even though you wanted to,
like our vow said,
246
00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:50,291
"In sickness, and in health,"
and honey,
247
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,020
you have a little sickness.
248
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:53,985
I? I have a sickness.
249
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:55,994
I have a sickness?
You throw away
250
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,826
my precious memories,
Wait, just...
251
00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,831
and I have a sickness?
I...
252
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,073
I think you broke your wife.
253
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:03,028
I just, I can't believe
it's all gone.
254
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:04,196
Well, no, not all of it.
255
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,044
No. Like, see that
section over there?
256
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,969
That's all corks.
257
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:13,177
Really? I'm-I'm supposed to be
happy about corks, right now?
258
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:14,780
Are you?
259
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:17,181
A little.
260
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:20,854
Look, yeah, and over here,
I made keepsake boxes
261
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:22,324
for all the kids.
262
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:25,692
You should be even happier
about that, hopefully.
263
00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:28,933
I guess that's not a bad idea.
264
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:31,729
Yeah, yeah, tiny clothes,
tiny footprints, tiny teeth.
265
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:34,702
You name something tiny,
I kept it.
266
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:36,101
I do like tiny things.
267
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:38,173
That's...
Shut up, Don.
268
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:43,780
Oh, Kate's first ice skates.
269
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:45,937
Oh, I haven't seen these
in years.
270
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:48,376
That's because they were buried.
271
00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:50,422
Look, I-I'm not
taking away your memories,
272
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:51,747
I'm giving 'em back to you
273
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:54,022
by getting rid of all the junk.
274
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:56,351
Okay, well, I'm starting
275
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:59,056
to picture my life
with you again.
276
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,189
Good. 'Cause I was prepared
to make a run for it.
277
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:02,794
I got $200 bucks in my pocket
278
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:04,196
and I already
kissed the kids good-bye.
279
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:07,065
MARIE: Hey, good
for you guys.
280
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:09,197
I believe I was
promised wine.
281
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:13,741
Oh, and I-I found a bunch of
stuff from our wedding.
282
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:14,870
I know you like that day,
283
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:16,135
'cause that's the day
you got me.
284
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:17,143
(both chuckling)
285
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:18,314
How'd he pull that off?
286
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:20,011
Adam Burns--
287
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,753
he's all balls.
288
00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:24,119
Oh, my God.
289
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:26,317
Look at these wedding pictures.
290
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:27,849
(gasps)
Oh, ladies.
291
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,324
Paste on some fake smiles,
292
00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:30,992
I found something
more boring to do than reading.
293
00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:32,861
Oh, wait, wait.
294
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,359
Uh, what do you want me to do
with this wedding box?
295
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:36,701
Um, just put it
with my wedding dress.
296
00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:37,727
Your wedding dress?
297
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:38,961
Uh, will do.
(chuckles)
298
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,838
What wedding dress?
I didn't see a wedding dress!
299
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,867
Did you see a wedding dress?
I bet you threw it away.
300
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,072
Hey, you were the one yelling,
"Donate, donate, donate!"
301
00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:50,335
Yeah, because you said it
was just all old clothes.
302
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:52,043
Oh, you're not taking
me down for this.
303
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,305
If Marcy sees Andi
yelling at you,
304
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,013
she's gonna want
to yell at me.
305
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:56,375
It's animal instinct.
306
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,183
Like a wolf hearing
another wolf howl.
307
00:11:58,185 --> 00:11:59,245
Guys,
308
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,322
guys, stop fighting.
309
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,390
It's not helping anything
310
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,318
and it totally excludes me.
311
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:04,963
This is bad.
312
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,088
This is very, very bad.
313
00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:07,763
That wedding dress
isn't in here.
314
00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:09,131
Well, then, it must be
at the thrift store.
315
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:10,829
You're right.
316
00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:12,301
Okay, we got to get down there
before someone else buys it.
317
00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:13,869
All right, Lowell,
you tell Andi that
318
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,067
Don and I had to
run an errand.
319
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,298
Yeah?
Okay. Yeah.
320
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:18,273
I'll tell her you went
to get some loose tea.
321
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,401
What?
322
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,966
No!
Hardware store?
323
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:22,074
Yes.
I did it.
324
00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:30,816
Hey, uh, hi. Uh,
325
00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:32,017
where are your wedding dresses?
326
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:33,248
I don't know.
327
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,523
Do you even work here?
328
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,891
Yes, but it's not my passion.
329
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:39,960
Listen, buddy, do you have
wedding dresses or not?
330
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,260
Some lady's in the dressing room
trying one on.
331
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,292
You could've led with that.
332
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:45,826
But then we wouldn't
have had this.
333
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,100
That's it.
334
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,141
That's the dress.
Okay, I got this. I got this.
335
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:52,797
Uh, ma'am?
336
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:55,266
Hi, I'm a little bit of an
expert on wedding dresses.
337
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,075
And I got to say,
338
00:12:57,076 --> 00:12:58,876
if I'm at the alter, watching
that thing come at me,
339
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:01,209
I'm gonna throw myself
through a stained glass window.
340
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,102
Excuse me?
341
00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:05,920
Yeah, uh-uh, look, I have to
apologize for my brother.
342
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,189
What he meant to say was,
343
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:09,047
you're way too pretty
for that dress.
344
00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:11,015
Well, you're too ugly
for that shirt.
345
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,964
Hey, I-I said
something nice.
346
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,890
Look, sunshine,
347
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:18,056
you seem like
an unhappy person in general,
348
00:13:18,064 --> 00:13:20,574
you throw marriage in the mix,
it's only downhill from there.
349
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:22,567
Okay, ma'am, look,
350
00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:23,939
I-I made a terrible mistake.
351
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:26,067
First of all, I brought
my brother here.
352
00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:27,842
Hey, what's up?
353
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:31,075
And-and-and second,
I accidentally
354
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:32,877
donated my wife's
wedding dress
355
00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:33,909
and you're wearing it.
356
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,484
And it means the world to her
357
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,222
and she means the world to me.
358
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:38,877
So I-I need it back.
359
00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:41,585
Oh, that's so sweet.
360
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:43,588
I mean, I'd be happy
to give it you
361
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:45,590
for $500.
362
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:48,392
You really think
extortion is gonna work?
363
00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:51,155
How do you think I got
this ring on my finger?
364
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,134
I take back what I said.
365
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:55,573
You're going to enjoy
marriage very much.
366
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:58,937
Oh God, I forgot how much
367
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:00,839
I love that dress, oh.
368
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:04,211
I could show you a picture
of what I wore to my divorce.
369
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:06,846
Or I could just
put on a bathrobe,
370
00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,147
and you'd get it.
371
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,418
Hey, do you guys
want to see my dress?
372
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:11,317
Uh!
373
00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:15,194
Lowell, are you okay?
374
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,888
Never better.
375
00:14:17,591 --> 00:14:19,221
Okay, well I'll go get it.
376
00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:20,855
No, no! You can't
go out there!
377
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,532
W-What are you doing?
378
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:24,930
I'm just going upstairs
379
00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:26,331
to get my dress
out of the closet.
380
00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:29,898
It's in your closet?
381
00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:31,873
Of course,
it's in a box on a shelf,
382
00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:32,902
where it's been for 15 years.
383
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:35,166
What? What is going on, Lowell?
384
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:39,514
Nothing.
385
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:45,046
Doesn't seem like nothing.
386
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,886
Is it something Adam did?
387
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,655
Something Don did?
388
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:54,355
Something Adam and Don did?
389
00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:58,199
Nope. Nothing to report.
390
00:15:05,639 --> 00:15:07,569
This man's a liar.
391
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,012
Yeah, are you gonna tell us,
Lowell,
392
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:11,981
or am I gonna let Marcy
get it out of you?
393
00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:13,948
Fine.
394
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:15,307
Adam thinks he
donated your wedding dress
395
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:16,975
while he was cleaning out
the garage,
396
00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:18,353
so he went to the thrift store
to buy your dress back,
397
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:19,451
but I guess it's not your dress
398
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:21,152
since your actual dress
is upstairs.
399
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:23,524
Whew. I feel light as a feather.
400
00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:27,055
So Adam lied to me.
401
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,090
I should go.
402
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:31,663
Um...
403
00:15:31,665 --> 00:15:33,695
totally unrelated--
404
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:36,940
anyone know
where the thrift store is?
405
00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:40,965
I'll figure it out.
406
00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:45,039
Okay, I got $282 here.
407
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:46,035
Is that enough for you?
408
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:49,106
Let's make it $284.
409
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:53,247
Sold... to the bad husband
with the hot brother.
410
00:15:55,689 --> 00:15:57,089
Accidentally hooked her.
411
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:58,720
I can't believe it--
I got the dress back!
412
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:01,725
Hey, do you guys mind
watching the store
413
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,158
while I grab a taco?
414
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:07,198
Yeah, sure, man, okay.
Yeah.
415
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:15,339
I can't believe
I pulled this off.
416
00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:16,742
Yeah, it's a shame
you won't get any credit
417
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,083
for your hard work.
What?
418
00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:19,108
Always remember,
419
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:20,242
there's nothing more important
420
00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:22,006
in a marriage
than keeping score.
421
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:28,747
(groans)
422
00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:31,255
Hello, boys.
423
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:35,526
And that's game over.
424
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,764
Adam!
425
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:41,626
Did a handsome man come in here
looking for a wedding dress?
426
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:43,274
You just missed him.
427
00:16:43,269 --> 00:16:46,039
But I'll buy those red pants
for two dollars.
428
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:49,408
What a weird day.
429
00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:54,014
Let me get the chain
of events straight.
430
00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:56,784
So, you went behind my back
and you did something
431
00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,683
you knew I didn't
want you to do.
432
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,785
Yup, I-I did do that,
but in my defense,
433
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:03,387
you did the exact same thing
to me with my...
434
00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:05,260
Don't you dare say cargo pants.
435
00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:08,427
Multipocketed trousers.
436
00:17:10,096 --> 00:17:11,196
And then,
437
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:12,357
when you thought
438
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,065
you threw away my wedding dress,
439
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,067
you lied to me.
440
00:17:15,068 --> 00:17:16,298
Look, this didn't work out
441
00:17:16,302 --> 00:17:18,142
great for me, either, you know.
442
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:20,638
I spent $280 on the wrong dress.
443
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:22,714
That was my getaway money.
444
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,509
I could really use
that right now.
445
00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:26,638
See, this is why we need
446
00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:28,146
to keep our things,
447
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,208
so we can be reminded of,
oh, I don't know,
448
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:31,716
what my wedding dress
looks like.
449
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:32,718
I mean, does your...
450
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,549
thrift store dress
451
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,724
look anything like this?
452
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:46,063
No.
453
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:51,138
I can't believe I lost
my wedding dress.
454
00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:53,167
I am a hoarder.
455
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:55,840
Don't be so hard on yourself.
456
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:58,782
Literally everyone in this room
457
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:01,248
has lost your wedding dress
at one time or another.
458
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,583
Okay, wait a minute.
459
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,684
Now, if-if my dress box
was full of corks,
460
00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:08,346
that means I took the dress out
461
00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:10,424
and I put it
where the corks were...
462
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:11,823
which was in the garage.
463
00:18:11,825 --> 00:18:12,855
So...
464
00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:14,359
you did donate my dress
465
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:15,560
and that means
466
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:17,702
in this bag is...
467
00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:20,327
still not my dress!
468
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,327
How is this possible?
469
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:24,366
Ugh.
470
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:25,770
(sighs)
471
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:28,212
So, you don't have the dress.
472
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:30,108
Now, come on,
it's just a thing.
473
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,780
Huh? And...
474
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,408
things don't matter
475
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:35,183
because we have
our memories.
476
00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:36,611
Huh? I remember
477
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,776
everything about
our wedding day.
478
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,885
You do?
479
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:42,417
How could I forget?
480
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:45,423
The way you wore
your hair with those...
481
00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:47,225
little yellow
flowers in it.
482
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:49,187
(chuckles)
Mm, white flowers.
483
00:18:49,195 --> 00:18:51,455
I remember our first dance.
484
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,164
"Faithfully" by Journey.
485
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:55,266
"Witchcraft," Sinatra.
486
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:57,238
I remember the way
you smiled at me
487
00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:59,197
when your cousin
dropped the rings.
(chuckles)
488
00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:01,305
That was a movie.
489
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,705
We got married, right?
490
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,907
It's okay, you don't
have to remember, I do.
491
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:11,616
Yes, yes, you do.
492
00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:13,218
You remember everything.
493
00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:14,489
That's why you don't
494
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,787
need the dress
495
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,888
or any of that other stuff.
496
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,155
Your brain is like
497
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,160
our garage full of boxes.
498
00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:25,901
All right?
499
00:19:25,899 --> 00:19:28,169
Come on, that's...
500
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:31,198
that is pretty
romantic, right?
501
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:35,339
It is when you say it,
for some reason.
502
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,381
Oh, and here's
another thing
503
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:40,307
I know for sure happened
on our wedding day.
504
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:43,211
You looked beautiful
505
00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:44,816
and I...
506
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:46,417
was the luckiest man
in the world.
507
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:48,349
I did.
508
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,254
And you are.
509
00:19:50,256 --> 00:19:52,286
(rapid knocking)
510
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:53,692
She knows about the dress!
511
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,293
Run!
512
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:03,725
Okay, now, remember,
lefty loosey,
513
00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:06,766
righty tighty and always
514
00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:07,913
always double-check
515
00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:09,707
Uncle Don's work.
516
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:10,779
He's right about that.
517
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:12,607
I've been turning the same bolt
518
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:14,582
for about five minutes.
519
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:16,648
What can I do?
520
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:18,949
Uh, you can find Daddy a rag.
521
00:20:18,952 --> 00:20:20,952
Okay.
522
00:20:20,954 --> 00:20:23,294
This is gonna be a nice bike.
523
00:20:23,289 --> 00:20:24,289
Yeah, yeah.
524
00:20:24,290 --> 00:20:25,290
Now, guys that ride these
525
00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:26,621
are usually super cool
526
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:27,956
and good-looking...
527
00:20:27,961 --> 00:20:30,391
and you're absolutely forbidden
to date them.
528
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,856
Eh, I would never date a guy
with a motorcycle.
529
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:35,395
But I do kind of
like this one guy.
Mm-hmm?
530
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:36,671
He's the smartest
kid in our class.
531
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,939
Ha-ha, nerd.
532
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,868
Keep turning your bolt there,
Don.
533
00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:43,914
Oh, thanks, honey.
534
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,840
So, tell me more about this boy.
535
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:47,775
Oh, well, he's really cool.
536
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:48,780
Yeah, he...
He's really ni...
537
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:50,411
(gasps)
538
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:53,646
This is Mommy's
wedding dress.
539
00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:55,553
Where did you find this?
540
00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:57,615
In that box that says corks.
541
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:00,731
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
542
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:06,732
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
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