1
00:00:02,103 --> 00:00:03,773
Bev, you got any fours?

2
00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:05,744
Give you my fours,
you give me your twos.

3
00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:07,213
All right.

4
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:09,441
That is not how you play gin.

5
00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:12,381
Gin!
Gin!

6
00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:17,045
Well, I can't say
I'm sad it's over.

7
00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:19,045
Hey, uh, listen,
before you guys go,

8
00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:20,687
I need you to clear
your Saturday.

9
00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,591
Well, we were all set
to mail a letter,

10
00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:24,593
but I guess we can
wait till Monday.

11
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:28,095
Good, 'cause this Saturday
is Andi's birthday,

12
00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:30,729
and we're all going out
to dinner to celebrate.

13
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:32,174
You planned ahead
this year?

14
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:35,437
Usually first time I hear
about Andi's birthday

15
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:38,209
is when you're apologizing
to her for forgetting it.
(chuckles)

16
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:40,569
Okay, I admit that in the past

17
00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:43,108
I have occasionally
lost track of time,

18
00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:46,184
and her birthday snuck up on me.
I've made some mistakes.

19
00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:50,579
This is my yoga mat.

20
00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:54,158
Yeah, you lost it,
and I found it.

21
00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:55,418
Happy birthday.

22
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:00,730
Hey...

23
00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:02,531
there she is.

24
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:05,303
Happy birthday.

25
00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:07,503
(clears throat)

26
00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:11,205
"This coupon is good for
one free massage from Adam.

27
00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:13,209
Back or front, your choice."

28
00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:16,281
Fair warning, if we start
on your front,

29
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,280
things will escalate quickly,

30
00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:20,752
and then you can cash in
this coupon.

31
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:27,817
Did you see the cartoon people?

32
00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,215
It's not to scale,
but that could be us.

33
00:01:29,257 --> 00:01:30,517
Yeah.

34
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,228
* Happy...
It was yesterday.

35
00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:38,434
Damn it!

36
00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:41,366
But I'm telling you, things
will be different this year

37
00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:43,542
because Andi told me
they had to be.

38
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:48,239
Are they gone yet-- Hey!

39
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,210
Hi.

40
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:53,275
Ah, I'm so glad
I didn't miss you guys.

41
00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:56,524
So are you excited about
your birthday plan?

42
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:59,250
Ma! I haven't told her yet.
I want to tell her.

43
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:00,487
Oh, fine, fine.
Go ahead.

44
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,322
It's a dinner!

45
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,200
Y-You already planned
my birthday?

46
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,531
You mean I'm not getting
my own yoga mat again?

47
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,537
I lost it for you
on purpose, just in case.

48
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:18,370
Well, find it.

49
00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:20,806
I already made a reservation
at your favorite restaurant,

50
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:21,841
I scheduled the kids

51
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,435
for sleepovers that night,

52
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:24,807
and-- this is the best part--

53
00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:27,945
the dinner is on
your actual birthday.

54
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,381
(gasps)

55
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,219
That's right.

56
00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:37,185
I'm pretty handsome now,
aren't I?

57
00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:39,885
Yeah, you are.
(chuckles)

58
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:43,297
We've never gotten to celebrate
on the real day before.

59
00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:44,731
Yeah.
This is so exciting.

60
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,665
We're going
to dinner Sunday!

61
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:49,370
Yeah-- Ah-ah, nice try.
It's Saturday.

62
00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:51,213
You're right.
You did it.

63
00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:52,239
Yes, I did.

64
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:55,383
So do you want me to handle
all the logistics?

65
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:56,839
Yes, say yes.

66
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:01,352
What logistics?
It's dinner with my parents,

67
00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:02,922
Don and Marcy,
and Lowell and his wife.

68
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:03,920
It's easy.

69
00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:07,591
She's throwing you
a lifeline. Grab it, son.

70
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:11,658
So everybody's coming?

71
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,762
Well, I haven't
sent out the e-mail yet.

72
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,004
BOTH:
Oh, no.

73
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:17,428
I'm sure it'll be fine.

74
00:03:17,465 --> 00:03:19,625
These two already said
they're coming.

75
00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:21,267
Well, we do have
some requirements.

76
00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:24,312
Your father needs to be near
a bathroom, but not facing it.

77
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:25,968
He-he wants the convenience,

78
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:28,536
but he doesn't like the
eye contact when they come out.

79
00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:32,778
And, uh, your mother
can't eat on a carpet.

80
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:35,783
She's susceptible
to static electricity.

81
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:39,346
I've seen a doorknob make her
fly right across the room.

82
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:43,321
See? It's not easy.

83
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,287
I should take over.

84
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:47,356
Honey, it's handled, okay?

85
00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:49,995
I got the private,
no carpet.
Oh.

86
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,830
And the bathroom
is just around the corner.

87
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,570
You think I don't know
how weird they are?

88
00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,365
We're weird,
but we're not deaf.

89
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:04,448
So you really think
you can pull this off?

90
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,783
Because now you're
getting my hopes up.

91
00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:11,385
And if they come crashing down,
they're gonna land on you.

92
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,456
Look, all I have to do
is send out the invitations.

93
00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:19,429
One e-mail and... done.

94
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:20,730
(cell phones vibrating)

95
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,601
Something's
happening to me.

96
00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,902
That's the e-mail, Joe.

97
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,644
I told you not to put your
new phone in your pocket.

98
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:32,670
Oh. Send another
one, will you?

99
00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,642
*

100
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:47,559
Jen and I are super excited to
be invited to Andi's birthday.

101
00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:50,418
We took you to dinner
a year ago, and since then,

102
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:52,888
we've been waiting for you
to call and return the favor.

103
00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:56,656
Until today, dinner buddy.
Hey.

104
00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:59,497
Hey, about Andi's birthday--
Marcy says we can't make it.

105
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:02,343
She made plans with people
from her pottery class, so...

106
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:04,440
Pottery class? Those
people are strangers.

107
00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:06,912
I take you
to urgent care once a week

108
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,680
to get a nail out of your hand.

109
00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:10,339
Cancel it.

110
00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:11,808
I can't change Marcy's plans.

111
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:13,905
I got one boss,
and it ain't you.

112
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,917
You guys have to come.

113
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:18,389
This is about my reputation
as a husband.

114
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:20,349
Well, when you put it that way,

115
00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:22,558
we still can't come,
but now I don't feel bad.

116
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,388
Oh, here comes
that mean building inspector.

117
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:27,897
She always looks
like she's trying

118
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:29,898
to scare the hiccups
out of someone.
Joy's okay.

119
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:32,870
We had her and Rudy over
for dinner the other night.

120
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,700
You just met her! No, no.

121
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:36,695
I got what I wanted.
I'll allow it.

122
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,407
(sighs)

123
00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:40,669
Hey, how'd the
electrical check out?

124
00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:42,938
We all good out there,
neighbor?
Listen,

125
00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:44,906
just because I'm friends
with your wife doesn't mean

126
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,745
I'm gonna let things
slide around here.

127
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:49,780
If anything, I'm gonna be
tougher on you.
Oh.

128
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:53,017
So it pains me
to say... you pass.

129
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:56,563
Hey, uh, Joy, how would
you and Rudy like to come

130
00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,760
to Andi's birthday
dinner on Saturday?

131
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:02,102
Oh, we'd love to.
Just one tiny thing--

132
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:04,629
I made Rudy a vegan,
but he doesn't know it.

133
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,865
So make sure there's
something on that menu

134
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,470
that looks like meat, but isn't.

135
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,569
Poor guy,

136
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:15,107
married to her,
and now she's gonna

137
00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:16,582
make him live forever.
(laughs)

138
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,811
What was that?
What was what?

139
00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:21,577
Well, Marcy and I figured
since we couldn't go,

140
00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:22,675
you would move the dinner.

141
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,146
I can't move the dinner.

142
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:26,024
It's on Andi's birthday.

143
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:28,423
So you replaced us?
Yeah.

144
00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:29,786
How can you be so far behind?

145
00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:32,493
It happened
right in front of you.

146
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:34,426
ADAM:
So,

147
00:06:34,462 --> 00:06:37,832
it's tofu, but you'll paint it
brown like meat?

148
00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:41,495
Well, it sounds disgusting.
Okay.

149
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,895
I'll see you Saturday night.

150
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:46,637
Was that about my
birthday dinner?

151
00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:49,214
My hopes are
flying high.

152
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,512
(laughing):
Yeah.

153
00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:52,184
Are there gonna
be any surprises?

154
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:53,712
Mostly for Rudy.

155
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:57,747
Oh, good. Rudy and
Joy are coming, too?

156
00:06:57,785 --> 00:07:01,615
"Too," "also," "instead of"--
all those fun birthday words.

157
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:03,515
What?

158
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:05,757
Don and Marcy can't make it.

159
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:07,563
Aw, really?

160
00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:09,095
Well, that's not
a bad thing.

161
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:11,629
I mean, Joy and Rudy
will have some new stories.

162
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:14,565
We've already heard
all of Don's, you know?

163
00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:17,742
He thought that raccoon
was a cat. Remember? Huh?

164
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,941
He didn't know pickles
were cucumbers.

165
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:24,113
He forgot the raccoon wasn't a
cat, and tried to pet it again.

166
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:26,854
It's just, you know-- and
you wouldn't know this

167
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,820
'cause you've never
planned one of these--

168
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:31,179
but, um, there's a rule
that everybody agrees on

169
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:34,088
that if one couple can't make
it, that we change the night.

170
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:36,661
(laughing):
Honey,

171
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,490
that's not everybody's rule.

172
00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:40,526
That's just your rule
because you're nice.

173
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:43,531
But lucky for you, I'm not.

174
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,504
Okay?

175
00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:49,543
So we are having dinner
on your actual birthday.

176
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:50,840
Yeah, I-I got
to be honest.

177
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:54,541
My hopes are losing a
little altitude, okay?

178
00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:56,135
Are you sure you
can pull this off?

179
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:57,706
Yes. Yes.

180
00:07:57,745 --> 00:08:01,105
So just, look--
sit back and relax.

181
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:05,048
You are in for a smooth flight.

182
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:09,257
Uh-huh.

183
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:14,061
I'm just gonna call Marcy
and figure everything out.

184
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:16,704
Look, if you pick
up that phone,

185
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,800
you're saying
you don't believe in me.

186
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,972
(sputters)
I believe in you.

187
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:24,771
Then why are you still
walking towards the phone?

188
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:29,608
Am I?

189
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:33,083
Andi, I'm telling you, this
dinner is coming together.

190
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:34,983
Yes, there was a
little speed bump,

191
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,975
but everyone's cool with it.

192
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,247
He frickin' replaced us?

193
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:42,916
No. No, we are not
replaceable. We are family.

194
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,256
Technically, I'm family.
You're just the wife.

195
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:47,903
Sharesies?

196
00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:50,098
We are going
to that dinner.

197
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,000
You tell your brother
we are in.

198
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,672
(sighs) You just made me
tell him we were out.

199
00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:55,902
It was a power move.

200
00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:57,636
We lost. Let's move on.

201
00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:59,911
(sighs)
Okay, okay.

202
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,640
Just one question.

203
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:03,735
How long will menopause last?

204
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,716
Hey, guys.
Oh, Don, so,

205
00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:10,679
I called the restaurant
to get you and Marcy back in.

206
00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:13,048
I did like you said. I told
the guy it was for Don Burns.

207
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:16,616
He got all excited and said,
"Don Burns? The Don Burns?"

208
00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:18,657
Really?
No. They didn't care.

209
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,933
They can only fit eight
in the private room.

210
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:24,162
Look, you got to help me out.
Marcy's all over me.

211
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:27,197
I tried to hide from her,
but my house is too small.

212
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,604
Look, Don,
there's nothing I can do.

213
00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:31,337
Last night I had to pretend
to work under my car

214
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:33,841
until she
went to sleep.

215
00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,214
Come on, little brother.

216
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,782
Okay, fine. Forget it.
Dinner's cancelled.

217
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,751
No!

218
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:41,950
I thought we'd just
follow the dumb rule

219
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:43,652
and do it on a night
when everyone can go.

220
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,654
There, you happy?
Thank you.

221
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:47,016
All right,
I'm off to the lumberyard.

222
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:48,824
Okay, good luck
at the dog track.
Thanks.

223
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:53,093
No. Don't do this.

224
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,896
Rescheduling means
it's never going to happen,

225
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,058
and I already took the tags off
my new outfit.

226
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:01,196
Don't worry.

227
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,774
I'm not rescheduling.

228
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:04,143
I just said that
to get Don off my back.

229
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:05,811
Saturday is still on.

230
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:08,779
Yes! Wow.
What a roller coaster.

231
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:12,807
(clears throat)

232
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:15,116
You really think
you can pull this off?

233
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,978
Why do people keep
asking me that?

234
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:19,417
Hey, look, all we have
to do is not let Andi know

235
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,252
that Don and Marcy
think it's cancelled.

236
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,718
And it goes without saying
that Don and Marcy can't know

237
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:25,287
that it's not cancelled.

238
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:26,885
Or that it is cancelled.

239
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,927
No. That it's not cancelled.

240
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,702
Yeah. It's easy, man.

241
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:35,269
But what if Joy tells Marcy?

242
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:38,412
Ooh. Oh, but that's
not gonna be a problem--

243
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:40,438
they don't even know each other.
See? I planned that,

244
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,883
and I didn't even know it--
that's how good I am.

245
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,711
DON:
I don't understand

246
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,816
why you could sample a
grape but not an apple.

247
00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:49,278
Because it's not a buffet.

248
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:50,676
JOY:
Don.

249
00:10:50,718 --> 00:10:51,988
DON:
Hi, Joy.

250
00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:54,089
Is this tall fellow
bothering you, ma'am?

251
00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:56,161
For 23 years.

252
00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:58,364
Joy, this is my
wife, Marcy.

253
00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,861
Hi, Marcy.
This is my husband, Rudy.

254
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,364
(chuckles):
Hey.
Hey.

255
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:03,825
I'm looking forward
to eating some steaks

256
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,074
with you at Andi's
birthday dinner.

257
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,698
I hope they're good.

258
00:11:06,734 --> 00:11:08,774
The last few I've had
have been real mushy.

259
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:10,372
MARCY:
Oh, no,

260
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:11,403
didn't you hear?

261
00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:12,708
No, Don and I were busy,

262
00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:13,870
so they decided to reschedule.

263
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:15,077
No, it's still on.

264
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,238
What?

265
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:17,876
Yeah, Adam sent out

266
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:20,281
an e-mail today
confirming it. See?

267
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:21,783
Do you see this?

268
00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:23,275
He is still having
that dinner.

269
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:25,716
He took us off the e-mail
so we wouldn't know.

270
00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:27,763
We were only
on the first e-mail.

271
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:30,088
The first e-mail?
This is the only one we got.

272
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,763
No, that is
the second e-mail.

273
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:33,362
Rudy, do you know
what this means?

274
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:35,903
When they couldn't go,
Adam subbed us in.

275
00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:37,459
We're just seat fillers.

276
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:38,967
Hmm.
Rudy!

277
00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:40,999
This is an outrage!

278
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:43,972
*

279
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,180
What?

280
00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:58,416
I have to ask-- how's it going
with my birthday dinner?

281
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:00,851
Perfect. Just like you.

282
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,992
And all the organizing?

283
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:06,955
Easy. Just like you.

284
00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:08,164
Ha.

285
00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:09,995
(both chuckle)

286
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:11,930
It's funny, 'cause it's true.

287
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,465
Yeah. Yeah.

288
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,240
I'm about to get a lot easier,

289
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:16,898
'cause I'm going for more wine.

290
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:18,968
(knocking at door)

291
00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:21,036
Well, fill it to the brim,

292
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:25,084
because this birthday
is nothing but smooth sailing.

293
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,849
Who was that?

294
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:32,954
Wrong number.

295
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:41,532
Seriously, who was that?
Nobody.

296
00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:42,861
I heard knocking.

297
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:44,226
Oh, that was two old crows

298
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,534
that flew into the door.

299
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:53,211
What are you doing?

300
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,980
Nothing. I just want
to be close to you.

301
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:58,910
How about a kiss?

302
00:12:58,946 --> 00:12:59,976
Hmm?

303
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:01,823
(laughs):
Aw. That's sweet.

304
00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:07,548
Huh.

305
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:10,817
I was sure you were
hiding something from me.

306
00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:13,088
Me? I'd never hide
anything from you.

307
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,302
Hey, guys.

308
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,873
Oh, look--
the crows are back.

309
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,037
MARCY:
Now, I'm sorry

310
00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:26,442
that you have to see this,

311
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:29,143
but there are some things
that need to be said

312
00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:32,876
to your bonehead husband
about your birthday dinner.

313
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:34,613
Why are you two here together?

314
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,317
You don't even know each other.

315
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:39,819
We're friends now.
Helps to have a common enemy.

316
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:41,863
He insulted me.

317
00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:43,159
Yeah. And he lied to me.

318
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,990
You said you were
rescheduling the dinner,

319
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,055
and you didn't.

320
00:13:46,093 --> 00:13:47,033
What?!

321
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:49,200
She chose pottery class
over your birthday.

322
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:51,329
You were supposed
to change the date.

323
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:53,074
That's the rule.

324
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,300
That's Andi's rule,
because she's nice.

325
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,044
So that rule
doesn't apply to you.

326
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:01,041
He subbed me and Rudy
in as seat fillers.

327
00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:03,284
Nobody puts Joy
on the B-team.

328
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:05,410
I'm not a "B."
I'm an "A."

329
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:09,045
An "A"! As in I will
kick you in the "A"!

330
00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:14,048
You said you had this handled.

331
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:16,217
You said it was
all eas like me.

332
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:17,556
(gasps)
He said that
to you?

333
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,060
Yeah, and she thought
it was funny.

334
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:20,262
Stay out of my marriage.

335
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,063
I am out of your marriage.

336
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:23,895
And I'm out of this dinner, too.

337
00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:26,971
Okay, well, I'll
get over it.

338
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,970
Congratulations, Marcy,
you're back in.
Oh, no, no.

339
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,472
I'm not coming
to your dinner, either.

340
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:32,613
What?!
So neither of
you are coming?

341
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,609
We'll do something fun
another time with you.

342
00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:37,481
And we'll have a great time--
because he won't be there.

343
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:43,078
(sighs heavily)

344
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,147
(scoffs)
Those two, huh?

345
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:47,516
(forced chuckle)

346
00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:51,116
Yeah. They're not the problem.

347
00:14:51,158 --> 00:14:52,328
You're right.

348
00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,129
We need to remember
to lock that back door.

349
00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:56,031
(groans)

350
00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:57,303
RUDY:
I can't believe your wife

351
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,500
was so mad
she left you here.

352
00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:00,672
Yours did, too.

353
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,240
Well, I can believe
my wife did it.

354
00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:05,940
I've just never seen it happen
to someone else.

355
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:08,944
Thanks for coming
to pick us up.

356
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:11,076
Yeah. I needed to get
out of the house.

357
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:13,351
Andi was so mad
she stopped blinking.

358
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,080
She was just staring,

359
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:18,185
like a painting
of an angry wife.

360
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:20,518
Listen, I need people
at her birthday dinner.

361
00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:23,163
You got to help me
out with your wives.

362
00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:24,360
(scoffs) Yeah, you
just picked us up

363
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:26,031
from a grocery store

364
00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:27,559
where our wives left us.
Yeah.

365
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:30,204
Did they say if they
were coming back, or...?

366
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:31,530
Did they even mention us?

367
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:33,504
Will you two
pay attention?

368
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,573
Okay? I got to do
something about this.

369
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,042
You got to do more
than something.

370
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:39,070
This is like when
your team is way down

371
00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:40,966
at the bottom of the ninth.
Yeah. You can't
just hit a double.

372
00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:43,008
BOTH:
You need a grand slam.

373
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,347
Boy, I have
never felt more

374
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:48,449
like a third wheel.

375
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:51,221
But you're right, what
I need is a big idea

376
00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:53,521
that's gonna
blow her mind.

377
00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:55,293
It'll come to me.

378
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,699
I needed a big idea.

379
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:07,201
I-It didn't come to me.

380
00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:10,435
You look beautiful
way down there.

381
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:14,070
So, now nobody's coming?

382
00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:16,207
No.

383
00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:19,613
Don and Marcy got to my parents,
so they canceled in protest,

384
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,246
and... Lowell and Jen said

385
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:23,151
they didn't want
their first dinner with us

386
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:25,223
to be on what he called a...

387
00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:27,392
"ruined night."

388
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:29,160
You know what, for your sake,

389
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:32,189
I-I think it's a good thing
that I'm way down here.

390
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,104
Boy, that was
a quiet ride.

391
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:38,570
(chuckles)

392
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:41,468
Good call not wasting
all your words on the ride home.

393
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,271
(chuckles nervously)

394
00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:46,541
And you're not blinking again.

395
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:49,738
Honey, I'm so sorry. I...

396
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:52,306
I don't know what to say. I...

397
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:54,676
(softly):
Um...

398
00:17:01,088 --> 00:17:02,318
Surprise!

399
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,555
Oh, my God!
(chuckles)

400
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:06,491
Oh, my God.

401
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,456
You threw me a
surprise party.

402
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:12,025
That's right. Yeah, I needed
a big idea, and it came to me.

403
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:15,336
Well, how did you
pull this off?

404
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,368
Well, it wasn't easy
getting them here.

405
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:18,614
Part of the agreement was

406
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:20,638
I had to admit to being
a lying bonehead.

407
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,235
You'll see it later.
It's written on the cake.

408
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:26,307
Oh...

409
00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:29,647
*

410
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:35,264
Hey, everybody, I would
like to make a toast

411
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:36,588
to my beautiful wife
Ah.

412
00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:38,293
on her birthday.
Aw.

413
00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:40,455
Everything good that
happens in my life

414
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:42,303
happens because of you.

415
00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:44,699
Oh.
Thank you. And
thanks to all of you

416
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:47,231
for getting over how
mad you were at me.

417
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:49,765
It was our pleasure.

418
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,802
I really enjoyed
how much you begged.

419
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:53,368
JOY:
Remember that part

420
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,336
where he started
to cry a little?

421
00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:00,408
Your husband is
very thoughtful.

422
00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:02,648
This one here has messed up

423
00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:04,422
every birthday in my 40s.

424
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,691
Wha...?
But you've got
one year left

425
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:08,459
before I turn 50.

426
00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:11,758
She's telling
people she's 49?

427
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:14,331
That means she
had me when...

428
00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:15,661
Just let her have it, boy.

429
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:19,625
Hey, Jen,
sorry it took

430
00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:21,596
so long to have
you guys over.

431
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,804
Hey, how about you come over
tomorrow for game night?

432
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:26,406
What's your pleasure?
Pictionary? Yahtzee?

433
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:29,809
Boggle?
Or we can do all three,
Pic-Yahtzee-Boggle.

434
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:34,352
Oh, wow. Uh, well, let me talk
to Andi about that right now.

435
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,589
We were too interesting.
Mm-hmm.

436
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,388
Oh, here's one I hate--

437
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,420
you're minding your own
business, watching television,

438
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:45,385
the wife walks in and says,
"There you are."

439
00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:48,325
Mm-hmm. And then
it's good-bye fun.

440
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:50,331
And hello, Bed
Bath & Beyond.

441
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,895
I seriously think we
should vacation together.

442
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:57,844
I would not say
no to a cruise.

443
00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,340
Yeah.

444
00:18:59,372 --> 00:19:02,442
This is a great
birthday, honey.

445
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:05,245
I mean, you know,
my hopes were high,

446
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:07,408
and then they were
real low, and then...

447
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:10,417
you know, you came through
with this, and it's, like...

448
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,850
(imitates explosion)

449
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:14,345
Hey, you know
what I'm thinking?

450
00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:16,187
Next time you offer
to handle logistics,

451
00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:17,323
I'm gonna let you.

452
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,527
I can't even
spell "logistics."

453
00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:21,589
What am I doing trying to
handle them? (chuckles)

454
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:23,658
Come on. You're on a roll.

455
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:26,326
Aw.
Can't wait to see
what my present is.

456
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,607
Me, neither.

457
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:39,613
I-I mean, I can't wait
to see you open it.

458
00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:41,606
Yeah. I know what it is.

459
00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:45,548
Yeah. It's on the truck.
I'll go get it. Here.

460
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:47,315
All right.
I'll be right back.

461
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:50,619
In about an hour.

462
00:19:57,764 --> 00:19:59,904
I say from now on we
stand up to our wives.

463
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:02,302
The next time one of them
says, "There you are,"

464
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:05,435
we just say, "Not
now, I'm busy."

465
00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:07,312
I'm in.

466
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:08,580
All right.
I feel strong, man.

467
00:20:08,608 --> 00:20:09,978
I feel good.

468
00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:11,979
Good.

469
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:13,511
BOTH:
There you are.

470
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:14,976
Not now, I'm busy.

471
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:19,685
Not now, you're what?

472
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:22,259
No, he told... he...

473
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:26,463
Don, you left me hanging.

474
00:20:26,493 --> 00:20:28,903
I'm sorry, I lost my nerve.

475
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:35,536
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

476
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,968
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org