1
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Previously on
Man with a Plan...

2
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My little sister's here.Hey, Kelly.

3
00:00:06,919 --> 00:00:09,444
Why did you--
When did you come here?

4
00:00:09,487 --> 00:00:11,533
They fired you? What happened?

5
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I embezzled a tiny bit of money.

6
00:00:14,449 --> 00:00:16,103
I'm jealous of you.

7
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I guess this is like
The Tortoise and the Hare.

8
00:00:18,583 --> 00:00:23,023
I'm the sleek, sexy bunny

9
00:00:23,066 --> 00:00:26,504
losing to you,
the slow, scaly turtle.

10
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[screaming]

11
00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:32,858
Thanks for coming by.
We wanted you here

12
00:00:32,902 --> 00:00:34,512
because we're having
an intervention.

13
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Okay, hold on, a lot of people
drink wine at lunch.

14
00:00:37,385 --> 00:00:40,518
No, Marcy, it's
not for you.

15
00:00:40,562 --> 00:00:43,173
Oh, this better not be
about me and the dog track.

16
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You said you weren't going
to the track anymore.

17
00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:47,177
I'm not.

18
00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:50,441
Look, the intervention
is for Lowell.

19
00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:51,442
Kelly's got
her hooks

20
00:00:51,486 --> 00:00:53,270
in him and
it's my fault.

21
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Oh, honey, we're not assigning
blame out loud. [clears throat]

22
00:00:58,014 --> 00:01:00,364
Look, we need your help
convincing Lowell to dump her

23
00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:02,671
because she's
bad for him.

24
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Yeah. And me. Since Kelly
moved in with him,

25
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Lowell hasn't been
at work all week.

26
00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:09,765
He's got stacks of whatever
he does piling up.

27
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The longer this goes on,

28
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the worse it's gonna be for him

29
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when she breaks his heart.
He's my friend.

30
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I can't sit by
and let that happen.

31
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We're in. These things
are open bar, right?

32
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I'm asking
for a friend.

33
00:01:25,955 --> 00:01:27,087
Hey, Dad.

34
00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:28,523
Hey, your mother told me

35
00:01:28,566 --> 00:01:30,264
you're having an intervention.

36
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Are we straightening out
the boozer or the gambler?

37
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[knocking on door]
[gasps]

38
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Okay, that's Lowell. Wait,
wait, wait, one more thing,

39
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I have watched every episode
of Intervention,okay?

40
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It is intense, emotional,
and almost never works.

41
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Good luck, everybody.

42
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Hey, Lowell.

43
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Oh, you got a little
something all over here.

44
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I grew a goatee.

45
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Oh, well, that makes sense.

46
00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:03,035
You love animals
and now your face

47
00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:04,689
looks like a raccoon
walking away.

48
00:02:06,561 --> 00:02:08,302
It was Kelly's idea
and I like it.

49
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I get to stroke it
when I think about stuff.

50
00:02:11,087 --> 00:02:12,349
That sounds fun.
Maybe I'll grow a...

51
00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:13,872
No, baby.

52
00:02:13,916 --> 00:02:16,832
Don, why don't you get
Lowell a glass of wine?

53
00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:18,529
Oh, actually, Kelly's
gotten me into scotch.

54
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At first
it was awful,

55
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but now that it burned off
all my taste buds, I love it.

56
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Okay, buddy, h-have a seat.
[chuckles]

57
00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:35,024
Why is everyone
so serious?

58
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Is it my goatee? It does
set a mood of sexy danger.

59
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No, no. No,
we're serious

60
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because we're having
an intervention.

61
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Oh.

62
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Well, I think Marcy
drinks a normal amount.

63
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It's not for Marcy.

64
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Although, we should probably
put one on the books for her.

65
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No, it's for you.

66
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Lowell, we love you,

67
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and we feel like
we're losing you.

68
00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:09,232
They say that every
time on the show.

69
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It's how you
kick things off.

70
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What are you talking about?Kelly.

71
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We're worried that you're
happier than us

72
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because she's so foxy.

73
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No.

74
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We're worried
because you are a good,

75
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trusting person,
and Kelly is,

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well, the devil.

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She will ruin you.
You got to end it with her.

78
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No. I'm grateful for all the
things she brought into my life.

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Before her, I never knew
I loved scotch.

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[deep voice]:
Like an angel's tears.

81
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Look, Kelly is my sister, and
I know her better than anyone.

82
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I don't think so.
I know Kelly intimately.

83
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Only 64 other men
in the world can say that.

84
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Boy, it sounds like people are
having a lot of fun out there.

85
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Kelly and I
exchanged stats.

86
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If we compare how many women
we've been with, we're tied.

87
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[stammers] Okay, fine.
If you won't listen to us,

88
00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:15,994
then listen to him. Dad,
go ahead. Scare him straight.

89
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All right!

90
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Listen here, Lowell.

91
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You've made a lot of changes.
Let's start with the beard.

92
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I like it.

93
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Dad.

94
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I thought we were fixing
the old Lowell,

95
00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:32,184
but this one's hairy
and drinks scotch.

96
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Rolling around town
with a cute broad.

97
00:04:35,449 --> 00:04:38,495
I enjoy you, son.
I used to be you.

98
00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:41,411
Thank you, Joe.

99
00:04:41,455 --> 00:04:45,197
Lowell, I got your text.
Are you okay?

100
00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:47,809
No, they want to break us up.[gasps]

101
00:04:47,852 --> 00:04:49,463
Is this true?

102
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In our defense, we were trying
to do it behind your back.

103
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Should've known you were coming.
I saw a bat fly by the window.

104
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♪

105
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,440
Why would you try
to break us up?

106
00:05:10,484 --> 00:05:12,790
Look, I don't like
confrontation,

107
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:15,532
but I'll just come out
and say it. Adam, say it.

108
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I'll say it. You're not
good enough for him.

109
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What with you being
the devil and all.

110
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You know, when I started
dating Lowell,

111
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I wasn't good enough for him,
but he changed me.

112
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I've never had a man
so supportive and tender,

113
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and then not tender when it's
"not tender time." [chuckles]

114
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And there's someone else
I haven't been good enough for,

115
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and that's you, Andi.

116
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I have been a terrible sister,

117
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but I don't want to compete
with you anymore.

118
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I just want to love you.

119
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OTHERS:
Aww!

120
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Aww?

121
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We are not aww-ing,
we're boo-ing.

122
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She's never said anything
like that to me before.

123
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We are supposed
to be a team.

124
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We are a team, but--
I don't know--

125
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we lost them.
Read the room, man.

126
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Okay, well, Lowell,

127
00:06:09,325 --> 00:06:11,327
I have some information
that will show you

128
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,068
what kind of person
Kelly really is.

129
00:06:13,111 --> 00:06:15,636
She told us that
she's just using you

130
00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:17,594
to get an instant family.
Try to deny it.

131
00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:19,553
I don't.She already told me.

132
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I see.

133
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Well, that was my big finish.

134
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Now I got nothing left except
I think you dress too fancy.

135
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Too fancy, am I right, guys?

136
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I like it. She's classy
like Lady Bird Johnson.

137
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Oh, come on.

138
00:06:42,314 --> 00:06:46,536
You guys aren't really buying
this new Kelly, are you?

139
00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:49,234
I admit it's hard to believe,

140
00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:52,716
but without love and honesty,
you can't be happy.

141
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That's just another life lesson

142
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I learned from my
furry little friend.

143
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OTHERS:
Aww!

144
00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:02,857
Stop doing that.

145
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:04,859
You stop.

146
00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:06,643
Yeah, leave these
two kids alone.

147
00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:08,384
Yeah, why can't you
let people be happy?

148
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,865
You've never done that
once in your life.

149
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:13,955
I know, but I like to watch it.

150
00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:17,001
Guys, don't
gang up on Adam.

151
00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:20,048
He was just trying to do what he
thought was best for his friend,

152
00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:22,529
and I think
that's amazing.

153
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:24,618
All right.

154
00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:29,231
This is over. I am intervening
on this intervention.

155
00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:30,493
Everybody go home.

156
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:32,321
How about a hand

157
00:07:32,364 --> 00:07:33,844
for a very brave man

158
00:07:33,888 --> 00:07:36,717
who stood up for
what he believed in?

159
00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:40,764
Go home, or I'm gonna
call the cops.

160
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,640
Adam, I believe
Kelly's changed.

161
00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:50,034
You believe that because you've
always wanted a sweet sister.

162
00:07:50,078 --> 00:07:53,124
A good con man sells you
what you already want to buy.

163
00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:55,431
Yeah, but if she has

164
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,695
the nice, pretty thing I want
to buy, why can't I buy it?

165
00:07:58,739 --> 00:08:00,741
One of my favorite things
about you

166
00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:02,656
is that you always see
the best in people,

167
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:05,354
but it's also why you
bought a case of candy bars

168
00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:07,399
from a 30-year-old
claiming to raise money

169
00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:09,706
for his high school
baseball team.

170
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:12,056
He was dyslexic.
They held him back.

171
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:13,710
14 times?

172
00:08:15,756 --> 00:08:18,062
You need to wise up, lady.

173
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:21,805
Okay, i-if you're so wise,
then what's my sister's motive

174
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:24,634
for pretending to be a good
person and care about Lowell?

175
00:08:24,678 --> 00:08:26,462
She just got fired.

176
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,465
She's looking for
a soft landing, and Lowell

177
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,337
is a walking
marshmallow.

178
00:08:32,381 --> 00:08:35,819
There is no way she's all of
a sudden a different person.

179
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:39,170
She wasn't completely rotten
when we were kids.

180
00:08:39,214 --> 00:08:41,216
You know, one time she found
a three-legged kitten

181
00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:42,826
and she nursed it
back to health.

182
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:44,567
Oh, really?
How do you know that kitten

183
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,569
didn't have four legs
when it met her?

184
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:50,878
Honey, I just don't want
to see you get hurt

185
00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:52,923
when Kelly goes back
to her old ways,

186
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:56,710
which you know she's gonna do.
She doesn't care about family.

187
00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:58,886
The first time she held
our daughter in her lap,

188
00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:01,236
Katie was ten.

189
00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:04,369
That's too late and weird.

190
00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:07,416
Look, I'm happy to have Kelly
back in my life.

191
00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:11,246
Great, now I got you
and Lowell to worry about.

192
00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:13,378
You know what?
If you won't listen to me,

193
00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:15,685
I'll go find someone else
to talk some sense into you.

194
00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:16,904
Honey.

195
00:09:16,947 --> 00:09:18,558
You're at the bottom of a hole

196
00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:20,211
and you're trying to get out
by digging deeper.

197
00:09:20,255 --> 00:09:22,344
That's the Adam Burns way.

198
00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:25,303
I'll dig so deep I'll hit water
and shoot back up to the top.

199
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,394
"Shoot back up
to the top"?

200
00:09:29,438 --> 00:09:31,962
It's a hole,
not a cartoon fire hydrant.

201
00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:34,225
Will you just talk
to Andi, please?

202
00:09:34,269 --> 00:09:36,401
Tell her you agree with me?

203
00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:38,795
I don't agree with you.
I like Kelly.

204
00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:42,712
I get tired of looking at the
same nine people every day.

205
00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:45,062
Then do it for me
because I'm your son.

206
00:09:45,106 --> 00:09:47,456
Sorry, boy, I'm Team Kelly.

207
00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:50,241
You need somebody
more pliable,

208
00:09:50,285 --> 00:09:51,852
that you can manipulate.

209
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:53,810
Don!

210
00:09:53,854 --> 00:09:56,639
Just the guy
I'm looking for.

211
00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:58,989
Listen, I'm worried
about Andi,

212
00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:01,078
and I'm worried
about Lowell.

213
00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:05,387
I think you and I need to band
together and get rid of Kelly.

214
00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:07,041
Oh. This is awkward.

215
00:10:07,084 --> 00:10:07,911
What?

216
00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:09,565
Here you go. Oh.

217
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,611
Hey, Adam. Hey.

218
00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:13,264
What's she doing here?

219
00:10:13,308 --> 00:10:15,832
I asked him to take me
to the dog track,

220
00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:17,747
show me the ropes.

221
00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:19,749
She cares about
my interests, Adam.

222
00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:21,229
Plus, she's willing
to say she's a diabetic

223
00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:22,404
to get the good seats.

224
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:24,928
Oh-ho, you're good.

225
00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:27,017
Nobody cares about
hisinterests.

226
00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:29,716
All right, I'll let you two
have some brother time.

227
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:31,239
All right,
see you later, Kel-Bell.

228
00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:33,937
Kel-Bell?

229
00:10:33,981 --> 00:10:35,896
Yeah, and she calls me Don-Don.

230
00:10:35,939 --> 00:10:37,680
We're Kel-Bell and Don-Don.

231
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:39,769
This isn't gonna work.

232
00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:41,597
She already charmed you.

233
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,644
I need somebody with
a heart of stone!

234
00:10:44,687 --> 00:10:47,559
Marcy, there
you are.

235
00:10:47,603 --> 00:10:49,387
I've been looking
all over for you.

236
00:10:49,431 --> 00:10:50,693
Oh, hey, Adam.

237
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:52,608
Oh, come on.

238
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,611
We just keep
running into each other.

239
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,917
Why are you with her?

240
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,919
Kelly showed up
at my pottery class.

241
00:10:58,962 --> 00:11:01,269
And you don't think
that's suspicious?

242
00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:04,446
It's never suspicious
when someone likes pottery.

243
00:11:04,489 --> 00:11:06,622
It's the world's
oldest hobby.

244
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,624
Isn't that right,
Kellybean?
[chuckles]

245
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,279
What happened to Kel-Bell?
You a bell or a bean?

246
00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:13,281
You can call me "sis."

247
00:11:13,324 --> 00:11:14,804
Never.

248
00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:17,328
Wh...?[door slams]

249
00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:18,634
Seriously?

250
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,505
Oh, hey, Adam.

251
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,159
How did you get
here so quick?

252
00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:24,945
I knew I shouldn't have
stopped at Arby's.

253
00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:27,295
My sister brought me
flowers in a vase

254
00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:29,297
she made herself.[groans]

255
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:30,777
It's just a
little token

256
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,822
to show how much
you mean to me.

257
00:11:32,866 --> 00:11:34,781
Aw, I've missed you,
Kelly-Belly.

258
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:37,261
Oh, now the bean bell
has a belly.

259
00:11:37,305 --> 00:11:39,611
Well, I better go.

260
00:11:39,655 --> 00:11:42,745
I'm volunteering
at the animal hospital.

261
00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:45,139
Hey, you know who
Adam reminds me of?

262
00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:46,923
That kitten I took in.

263
00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:49,534
He was a brave little guy
just like you.

264
00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:51,275
[sneers]

265
00:11:51,319 --> 00:11:53,800
How many legs that kitten have
when you met it?

266
00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:57,847
Adam, stop it.
She's being sweet.

267
00:11:57,891 --> 00:11:59,806
Let me tell you something.
Look, all day,

268
00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:02,112
I have been going to our friends
to enlist their support,

269
00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:04,506
and you know who's been there
every time doing the same thing?

270
00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:06,551
Kell-Bell, Kellybean,
Kelly Belly!

271
00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:10,033
What kind of crazy person
does that?

272
00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:11,600
You just said you do.

273
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,037
Look--

274
00:12:14,081 --> 00:12:15,473
Come on, honey,
don't you think you're

275
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:17,432
starting to spin out a little?

276
00:12:17,475 --> 00:12:19,695
I mean, maybe she's just going
to see our friends

277
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,566
because she wants
relationships with them.

278
00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:23,830
Or...

279
00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:25,788
she's tracking me.

280
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:28,225
I'm under
surveillance, Andi.

281
00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:30,053
What?Tracking devices.

282
00:12:30,097 --> 00:12:32,490
Aren't you listening?

283
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:33,970
I bet she is.

284
00:12:35,929 --> 00:12:38,061
I'm on to you, Kelly.

285
00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:49,464
[sighs]

286
00:12:49,507 --> 00:12:51,074
[door slams]

287
00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:54,948
What's all this?

288
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:57,951
Adam, we love you

289
00:12:57,994 --> 00:13:00,562
and we feel like
we're losing you.

290
00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:03,565
[laughing]:
What?

291
00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:05,393
It's an intervention, man.

292
00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:08,091
You're too upset
because Kelly's so foxy.

293
00:13:09,614 --> 00:13:11,181
Thanks, Don-Don.

294
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,532
You're having an
intervention for me?

295
00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:16,708
We want to talk about
how you're treating Kelly.

296
00:13:16,752 --> 00:13:20,234
We like Kelly.
We like her more than you.

297
00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:22,540
I appreciate that
you're looking out for me,

298
00:13:22,584 --> 00:13:24,673
but I love being
Kelly's boyfriend.

299
00:13:24,716 --> 00:13:26,849
I'm darn proud to be number 65.Oh.

300
00:13:28,242 --> 00:13:30,548
And I love having
my sister back.

301
00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:31,985
You know how sometimes you just

302
00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:33,900
go along with things
to make me happy?

303
00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:35,553
Do that now.

304
00:13:35,597 --> 00:13:39,688
Okay, if she's so wonderful now
and really cares about Lowell,

305
00:13:39,731 --> 00:13:41,733
then she'll be able to answer
a simple question about him.

306
00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:43,866
Kelly, when's Lowell's birthday?

307
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,476
February 11.

308
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:46,869
February 11, huh?

309
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:48,697
[chuckles]
Is that right, Lowell?

310
00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:52,527
I don't know, is it, Adam?

311
00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:56,183
Okay, I got out
over my skis on that one.

312
00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:57,532
How about this?

313
00:13:57,575 --> 00:13:58,881
When is Andi's birthday?

314
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:00,013
June 15.

315
00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:02,319
You better not ask
me if that's right.

316
00:14:02,363 --> 00:14:05,061
Okay, this is a waste of time.

317
00:14:05,105 --> 00:14:08,499
I know I know what I know
and I'm not wrong about her.

318
00:14:08,543 --> 00:14:10,066
You're all the wrong ones.

319
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:11,328
Wrong, wrong, wrong,

320
00:14:11,372 --> 00:14:13,548
wrong, evil, wrong.
Right!

321
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:20,642
That intervention
was a dirty trick.

322
00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:23,210
Hey, you were talking
to flowers.

323
00:14:23,253 --> 00:14:25,516
I mean, they put people
in hospitals for that.

324
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,605
I'm sorry.

325
00:14:27,649 --> 00:14:29,738
I just don't believe
people change.

326
00:14:31,044 --> 00:14:32,915
You did.
What?

327
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:34,351
Before we got married,

328
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:36,136
you never talked
about your feelings.

329
00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:38,965
Well, I don't want
to talk about that.

330
00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:40,705
And you had a hard time
admitting when you were wrong.

331
00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:43,186
I disagree.

332
00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:46,146
And you had a real black
shoe, white sock problem.

333
00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:48,409
I was into Michael Jackson.

334
00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:52,239
But I stuck with it
too long.

335
00:14:53,544 --> 00:14:55,503
Right, when you see
evidence that you're wrong,

336
00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:57,157
you-you always
come around.

337
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,550
So give Kelly a chance.

338
00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:01,204
[sighing]:
Oh, God...

339
00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:07,254
I'll think about it.

340
00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:10,997
Hey, Kelly.

341
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,520
Uh, thanks
for stopping by.

342
00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:14,609
Uh, here,
have a seat.

343
00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:15,958
No problem.

344
00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:19,353
The new me always comes
when family calls.

345
00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:21,442
But I hope you're not gonna
say anything hurtful,

346
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,705
because the new me's heart
is much more sensitive.

347
00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:25,185
Oh, no, no.

348
00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:26,969
No, actually...

349
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:28,666
I wanted to apologize.

350
00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:30,712
A-And as a peace offering,

351
00:15:30,755 --> 00:15:32,192
I got you some hummus.

352
00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:35,282
Which, I am told, is
yogurt for fancy people.

353
00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:36,848
[chuckles]

354
00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:38,633
Here's a spoon.
[chuckles]

355
00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:43,159
Oh, I just had
a tub of hummus, but thanks.

356
00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:45,901
Ah, o-okay.

357
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,729
Well, okay,
here's the thing.[clears throat]

358
00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:48,991
Um...

359
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:53,343
I was judging you
on past behavior

360
00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:56,999
and Andi pointed out
that people can change.

361
00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:59,697
So, I wanted
to look you in the eye

362
00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:02,570
and tell you I'm sorry.

363
00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:04,180
Thank you.

364
00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:05,703
That really means a lot.

365
00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:08,532
Good. A-And, and I hope
we can put all this

366
00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:10,360
behind us and start fresh.

367
00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:11,796
Of course.

368
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,363
We're family.

369
00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:16,105
We're gonna be
in each other's lives forever.

370
00:16:16,149 --> 00:16:17,977
And it's just nice
to think that

371
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:21,197
when I sit across from you
at Thanksgiving,

372
00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:23,373
I will know...

373
00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:25,419
that I owned you.

374
00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:30,424
What?

375
00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:33,514
I got to admit,
you were tough.

376
00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:35,864
I knew after
the intervention

377
00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:38,736
that you were the only one
that wouldn't buy the new me.

378
00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:40,695
I haven't changed at all.

379
00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:44,264
In fact, I'm probably
a little worse.

380
00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:45,743
[chuckles]

381
00:16:46,831 --> 00:16:48,094
So I was right.

382
00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:51,053
Yeah, but I got you
acting so crazy

383
00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:53,360
that you've lost
all credibility.

384
00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:55,536
Which is why
I feel comfortable

385
00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:57,712
sharing the truth
with you now.

386
00:16:57,755 --> 00:17:00,062
No one will believe you.

387
00:17:02,847 --> 00:17:04,197
Wow.

388
00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:08,157
That's right.
Drink it in.

389
00:17:08,201 --> 00:17:10,638
Oh, and another thing.

390
00:17:10,681 --> 00:17:14,424
Hummus isn't yogurt,
you country bumpkin.

391
00:17:15,686 --> 00:17:19,734
Oh, well, um, I'm sorry,
I-I didn't know, I...

392
00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:23,390
Well, since you didn't eat it,
I guess...

393
00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:25,392
I'll just make you
eat your words.[Kelly gasps]

394
00:17:29,744 --> 00:17:31,659
Andi.

395
00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:34,618
Maybe you did
pull that kitten's leg off.

396
00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:40,494
I-- He thinks he tricked me,
but I knew you were in there.

397
00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:43,018
I just said that stuff

398
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,760
so you could see that he didn't
really mean his apology.

399
00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:47,544
[pants] He drugged me.

400
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,375
This is so fun.

401
00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:56,901
You see, what I did was,
I convinced Andi

402
00:17:56,945 --> 00:18:00,035
to listen to make sure
I did a good job apologizing.

403
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,342
But I knew
you couldn't resist

404
00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:04,083
rubbing it in
once I caved.

405
00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:06,215
People don't change.

406
00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:08,391
I wear white socks
when you go out of town.

407
00:18:10,219 --> 00:18:12,091
Adam Burns for the win.

408
00:18:13,222 --> 00:18:14,876
Yeah, that's right.
You may have fooled me,

409
00:18:14,919 --> 00:18:17,313
but the man I married is
pathologically suspicious

410
00:18:17,357 --> 00:18:19,837
and sometimes
that comes in handy.
Mm-hmm.

411
00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:22,536
And I know what hummus is.

412
00:18:22,579 --> 00:18:25,191
I was just trying to make
you eat it 'cause it's expired.

413
00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:28,933
Now everyone
will believe me.

414
00:18:28,977 --> 00:18:31,022
And-- Wait.
Where's Don and Marcy?

415
00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:32,937
I told them to wait
in the pantry, too.

416
00:18:34,461 --> 00:18:36,158
[exhales]

417
00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:38,073
How much longer do we
have to be in here?

418
00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:40,858
I don't know.

419
00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:42,599
Adam just said
wait in the pantry.

420
00:18:50,607 --> 00:18:52,696
Lowell, we're sorry Kelly's
not who you thought she was.

421
00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:55,351
Thank you.Yeah.

422
00:18:55,395 --> 00:18:58,311
Maybe during this difficult
time, you'll find some comfort

423
00:18:58,354 --> 00:19:00,530
in the fact
that I was right all along.

424
00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:03,185
I can't believe this.

425
00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:05,187
I changed so much for her.

426
00:19:05,231 --> 00:19:06,710
I grew hair on my face

427
00:19:06,754 --> 00:19:09,322
and got rid of it
everywhere else.

428
00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:12,934
My whole body's
a five-o'clock shadow right now.

429
00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:16,546
Lowell.

430
00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:18,113
Kelly.

431
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,115
I've come to say good-bye.

432
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,378
I meant what I said.

433
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:24,641
I haveloved our time together.

434
00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:28,079
Is not being a good person
really a deal breaker?

435
00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:30,952
Historically,
it's been important.

436
00:19:32,127 --> 00:19:33,911
Although you set
a high bar sexually,

437
00:19:33,955 --> 00:19:36,958
so maybe from time to time
we could just...

438
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:38,089
No.

439
00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:39,482
Maybe just sexy Skype?ADAM: No.

440
00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:42,703
Lowell, go upstairs
while we secure the premises.

441
00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:44,879
Maybe use my razor and shave.

442
00:19:44,922 --> 00:19:47,273
Just the face.

443
00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:49,927
I'll be outside.

444
00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:52,800
I am very sorry
for all the hurt I...

445
00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:55,585
Oh, wait, I don't have
to be nice anymore. Bye.

446
00:19:58,109 --> 00:20:00,068
Well, you were right.

447
00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:02,201
She is never gonna change.

448
00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:04,464
Yeah. You can't pick
your family.

449
00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:07,031
You are stuck with them.

450
00:20:07,075 --> 00:20:10,121
But the good news is
I got to pick you,

451
00:20:10,165 --> 00:20:13,081
and I definitely got
the good sister.
Aw.

452
00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:16,084
[chuckles]And only 96 other
men can say that.

453
00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:18,042
Hmm. What?

454
00:20:18,086 --> 00:20:19,566
[chuckles]:
I'm kidding.

455
00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:21,220
That's not funny.
I don't like that.

456
00:20:21,437 --> 00:20:23,396
Captioning sponsored by
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457
00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:25,441
Captioned by
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