1
00:00:02,698 --> 00:00:04,482
So, Dad, you wanted to talk
about our annual trip

2
00:00:04,526 --> 00:00:05,614
to the cabin?That's right.

3
00:00:05,657 --> 00:00:07,616
I've been organizing it
for 15 years,

4
00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:09,487
but now it's time
for me to step aside

5
00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:11,663
and pick one of my boys
to be the new trip captain.

6
00:00:11,707 --> 00:00:12,925
Donny...

7
00:00:12,969 --> 00:00:15,319
Of course.I knew he'd pick me.

8
00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:16,712
...congratulate your brother.

9
00:00:16,755 --> 00:00:19,410
What?I'm the new captain?

10
00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:22,413
And I get the hat?

11
00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:24,763
We should take a picture.
Me, happy. Don, mad.

12
00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:28,724
I'm the oldest.
I should get it.

13
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:31,553
Yeah, exactly. In the picture,
you should look just like that.

14
00:00:31,596 --> 00:00:33,511
JOE:
Donny,

15
00:00:33,555 --> 00:00:35,209
I'm not saying
he'll be better at it,

16
00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:36,601
but he'll be better at it.

17
00:00:37,646 --> 00:00:38,821
Prove me right, boy.

18
00:00:38,864 --> 00:00:40,692
Oh, Dad, I am honored.

19
00:00:40,736 --> 00:00:43,391
I won't let you down. This will
be the best trip we ever had.

20
00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:45,958
This is unfair. I'd like
to lodge a complaint.

21
00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:48,657
All complaints should be filed
with the trip captain.

22
00:00:50,702 --> 00:00:51,834
Adam...

23
00:00:51,877 --> 00:00:54,358
Complaint denied. Next?

24
00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:58,101
Welcome to the first meeting
of the first annual

25
00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:01,844
"Adam Burns being in charge
of the 15th annual guys' trip."

26
00:01:01,887 --> 00:01:05,630
Confusing name for a meeting.
I should be captain.

27
00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:07,415
I've already put
a lot of thought into this,

28
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:09,069
and I think you'll be impressed.

29
00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:10,505
I'd like to introduce

30
00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:12,115
my secret weapon,
the thing that will take

31
00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:13,595
our cabin trip
to the next level.

32
00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:15,945
This year,
I've invited Lowell.

33
00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:17,164
Hey, cabin buddies.

34
00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:20,515
How's he know
our secret greeting?

35
00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:22,038
I-I know it's usually just us,

36
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,301
but, Dad,
he's a great cook,

37
00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:26,260
and I know you like
a nice, hot meal.

38
00:01:26,303 --> 00:01:28,958
Plus, he's already agreed
to read Lonesome Doveto you

39
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:30,525
while you fall asleep.

40
00:01:30,568 --> 00:01:32,483
We're not accepting
new members.

41
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:34,746
I've brought you
a sample of my cooking.

42
00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:36,748
Six different sausages.

43
00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:37,662
He's in.

44
00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:39,664
Yes.

45
00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:41,840
I'm impressed. You're off
to a good start, son.

46
00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:44,365
Hear that, Don?
I'm off to a good start.

47
00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:46,671
Is your head getting cold
without a hat on it?

48
00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:49,283
I always hoped
you guys would invite me.

49
00:01:49,326 --> 00:01:50,675
I can't believe I'm finally in.

50
00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:52,503
Now, it's not all
fun and games, Lowell.

51
00:01:52,547 --> 00:01:54,157
There are a couple of rules.
Dad?

52
00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:56,855
Number one:
if there's a bear attack,

53
00:01:56,899 --> 00:02:00,032
we escape by seniority,
so you're last man out.

54
00:02:00,990 --> 00:02:02,383
Try and put up a fight

55
00:02:02,426 --> 00:02:04,646
so we have time
to get to the truck.

56
00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:06,822
And number two: no wives.

57
00:02:06,865 --> 00:02:09,781
This is a chance
for us men to bond.Mm.

58
00:02:09,825 --> 00:02:11,609
To tell stories. To dig a hole

59
00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:13,916
and try and get Don
to fall into it.

60
00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:17,398
It's a very special time.

61
00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:19,226
Well, I don't have to worry
about telling my wife

62
00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:21,271
because I'm single now;
and if your wives ask,

63
00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:24,666
I'll just say, "Sorry, ladies.
This is a guys' trip."

64
00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:27,234
No, no, no. You can never
call it a guys' trip.

65
00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:29,975
He's out. It's too risky.

66
00:02:30,019 --> 00:02:31,760
Calm down.
He just doesn't know the system.

67
00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:32,761
Okay?[exhales]

68
00:02:32,804 --> 00:02:34,197
If we call it
a guys' trip,

69
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:35,807
our wives will want to go.

70
00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:37,113
They can't help it.

71
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,724
It's a reflex,
like spitting out light beer.

72
00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:43,206
We have to execute
perfect wife management.

73
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:46,035
Also known as lying.

74
00:02:46,078 --> 00:02:48,472
Donny boils it down nicely.

75
00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:50,213
Not a guys' trip, got it.

76
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:52,215
I'll just tell your wives
it's a regular trip

77
00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:53,825
that sounds like a lot of fun.

78
00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:55,827
Oh, you also can't call it fun.

79
00:02:55,871 --> 00:02:57,655
They don't like the idea
of us having fun.

80
00:02:57,699 --> 00:02:59,135
That's what
a wedding is,

81
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,268
the guy promising
never to have fun again.

82
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:02,704
ADAM:
So we tell our wives

83
00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:05,794
how boring it is.
I tell Andi all we do is fish.

84
00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:07,274
And then I made up a story

85
00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:09,667
about how I have to put
sunscreen on Don's back

86
00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:12,235
because he only fishes topless.

87
00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:13,932
I'm disgusting.

88
00:03:14,803 --> 00:03:16,152
And then
to seal the deal,

89
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,936
I tell Andi, "You're
more than welcome to come.

90
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,851
It's not like
it's a guys' trip."

91
00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:22,985
But I've made it sound so
boring, she doesn't want to go.

92
00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:25,988
Then she feels sorry for me
and makes me lasagna.

93
00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:27,903
Wife management.

94
00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:29,861
I'm learning a lot.

95
00:03:29,905 --> 00:03:32,821
Maybe I'd still be married
if I just lied to my wife more.

96
00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:35,780
Well, now you'll be ready
for lucky lady number two.

97
00:03:35,824 --> 00:03:38,174
Or number one,
as far as she'll know.

98
00:03:40,872 --> 00:03:42,918
Hey, have you seen my extra
camouflage sleeping bag?

99
00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:46,313
How could I? [chuckles]

100
00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:48,532
[laughs]: Yeah.
I need it for Lowell.

101
00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:49,968
Lowell's going
on the cabin trip?

102
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:51,622
Mm-hmm.That sounds fun.

103
00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:53,798
No, not... no, not fun.

104
00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:56,845
Boring. Remember how boring
I tell you it is?

105
00:03:56,888 --> 00:04:00,327
The fishing,
the-the topless Don.

106
00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:02,503
Yeah, well, that part
doesn't sound great.No.

107
00:04:02,546 --> 00:04:04,418
It's not.

108
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:07,725
But like I say every year,
you're always welcome to come.

109
00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:10,467
Okay. I'll go.

110
00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:13,905
You'll what?

111
00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:17,735
Yeah, I mean, if Lowell's going,
maybe it won't be so boring.

112
00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:19,868
I mean, he likes
board games and hikes

113
00:04:19,911 --> 00:04:21,739
and songs around the piano.

114
00:04:21,783 --> 00:04:24,089
[chuckles]:
There's no piano.

115
00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:25,874
Plus, you can't
sing in the woods.

116
00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:27,267
It confuses the birds.

117
00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:30,270
Aw, you're sweet,
but I know you want me there

118
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:32,097
because you always say
I'm welcome to come.

119
00:04:32,141 --> 00:04:34,796
Plus, you said
it's always so boring,

120
00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:38,321
and what could be more fun
than adding me?

121
00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:40,802
I did say all those things.

122
00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:43,326
Look at you.

123
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:44,980
Listening to what I say

124
00:04:45,023 --> 00:04:47,417
and then bringing it
up later. [chuckles]

125
00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,420
Oh, every day's
a surprise.

126
00:04:52,335 --> 00:04:54,294
♪

127
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,566
Andi's going? What
happened to your system?

128
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:07,916
We had to hear you gas on
about it for half an hour,

129
00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:09,396
and then you blew it.

130
00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:11,136
Now all our wives
are gonna want to go.

131
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,660
Can I take over now?
Where's the hat?

132
00:05:12,703 --> 00:05:14,226
No, no, no.

133
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:15,576
This is my first year
as captain.

134
00:05:15,619 --> 00:05:17,317
There were bound to be
some bumps.

135
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,362
This is just
a small wife management issue.

136
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:21,495
Okay? When I told her
Lowell was going,

137
00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:22,713
she said it sounded fun.

138
00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:24,672
Who said "fun"?
You said "fun"?

139
00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:27,457
I didn't say "fun."Somebody said "fun," and
somebody's gonna pay for it.

140
00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:30,373
I didn't say "fun."
I just said "Lowell."

141
00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:32,157
Well, then,
there's an easy solution.

142
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:33,376
Uninvite Lowell.

143
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:36,118
Sorry, kid,
but I barely know you.

144
00:05:36,161 --> 00:05:37,380
No!

145
00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:39,382
You screwed this up,
you fix it, mister.

146
00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:41,341
I'm going on this trip.
I already went out

147
00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:43,734
and got all the shots
Don told me I needed.

148
00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:45,388
What shots?

149
00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:46,998
Why invite the new guy

150
00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:48,565
if you can't goof around
a little?

151
00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:51,481
Well, you need to turn
this thing around and fast.

152
00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:52,830
How?

153
00:05:52,874 --> 00:05:54,397
Well, boring's
not gonna work anymore

154
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:55,833
because Andi knows
I'm a delight.

155
00:05:55,877 --> 00:05:58,314
Fun follows me
like a rainbow follows rain.

156
00:05:59,750 --> 00:06:01,012
Just uninvite Andi.

157
00:06:01,056 --> 00:06:03,406
I can't do that.
I want to stay married.

158
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:06,540
Well, then, our only choice
is to call the whole thing off.

159
00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:07,932
What?

160
00:06:07,976 --> 00:06:10,065
I don't want to be the guy
that killed the trip.

161
00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:13,111
Captain Trip Killer seems upset.

162
00:06:13,155 --> 00:06:15,418
What? I can fix this, okay?
I-I'll figure out a way

163
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:17,464
to convince Andi
she doesn't want to go.

164
00:06:17,507 --> 00:06:18,682
Well, then,
you better get to her

165
00:06:18,726 --> 00:06:20,118
before she blabs to our wives.

166
00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:21,555
Then they'llwant to go.

167
00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:23,948
You heard him. Quit talking
about it and go do it.

168
00:06:23,992 --> 00:06:26,429
If this thing goes south,
it's on you, buddy boy.

169
00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:29,040
Hey, stretch, get me a drink.

170
00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:31,434
I'm starting
to like you.

171
00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:34,742
Adam, you're back to last man
out if there's a bear attack.

172
00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:37,266
Bears.

173
00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:40,051
That's it. Andi hates bears.
I can use that.

174
00:06:40,095 --> 00:06:42,837
Andi, I was so excited
you're coming on the trip,

175
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,665
I got you some
essential supplies.

176
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:48,495
First thing you will need
for sure:bear spray.

177
00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:52,934
Bear spray?

178
00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:54,631
Oh, yeah,
there's bears everywhere.

179
00:06:54,675 --> 00:06:56,764
You just got to hope
you run out of bears

180
00:06:56,807 --> 00:06:59,506
before you run out of spray.
[growls, chuckles]

181
00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:01,725
Yeah, but I hate bears.

182
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:03,597
I didn't know that.[scoffs]

183
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,512
Okay, here's a tip.

184
00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:07,992
If they chase you,
run into the lake.

185
00:07:08,036 --> 00:07:10,995
Then all you have to worry
about are the leeches.

186
00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:15,391
I hate leeches, too.

187
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:19,569
Man, I am learning
so much about you.

188
00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:21,963
You know, you never mentioned
any of this.

189
00:07:22,006 --> 00:07:24,008
All you ever said
was it was boring.

190
00:07:24,052 --> 00:07:26,446
Well, there are
long periods of boredom,

191
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,926
but they're interrupted
by moments of pure terror!

192
00:07:30,232 --> 00:07:32,626
I can't wait to
share that with you.[sighs]

193
00:07:34,323 --> 00:07:37,500
Well, you know, honey, the trip
doesn't have to be like this.

194
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:39,589
I went to the lake website
to check the weather,

195
00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:43,506
and, um, it turns out
that there is a nice hotel

196
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:46,857
with a piano in the lobby
for sing-alongs. [chuckles]

197
00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:48,206
[gasps]

198
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:49,686
I'm gonna order the sheet music

199
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:51,558
for Legally Blonde:
The Musical.[chuckles]

200
00:07:51,601 --> 00:07:53,647
So, it's official.

201
00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:56,432
You're going. Fantastic.

202
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,651
[chuckles]

203
00:07:57,694 --> 00:07:59,261
Uh, but I definitely think

204
00:07:59,304 --> 00:08:00,915
we shouldn't tell
my mom and Marcy

205
00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:03,004
because I have a feeling
they'd hate it.

206
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:06,007
You can trust me.
I'm a captain.

207
00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:07,617
Oh.

208
00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:09,880
Well, that could be a problem.

209
00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:11,621
If you're going,
I'm going.

210
00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:13,493
I'm going, too.

211
00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:15,625
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

212
00:08:15,669 --> 00:08:17,235
[chuckles]: Yeah.

213
00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:19,760
I wonder if the guys know
their wives are going yet.

214
00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:21,675
Yeah. I mean,
Marcy and Bev were so excited,

215
00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:23,328
they ran right home
to tell them.

216
00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:25,113
Oh.

217
00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:27,028
Huh. Yep.

218
00:08:27,071 --> 00:08:29,552
Ten missed calls. [chuckles]Oh.

219
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,119
What the hell did you do?

220
00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:33,425
Marcy already packed
a suitcase full of board games.

221
00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:35,340
They're gonna
Pictionary us to death.

222
00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:37,995
All of a sudden, being divorced
is working in my favor.

223
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,344
Who's crying now?

224
00:08:39,388 --> 00:08:41,172
Well, still me,
but only in the shower.

225
00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:44,132
This whole thing
has gone catawampus.

226
00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:46,700
I guess you were right.
We just have to cancel.

227
00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:48,571
[sighs]Too late. If we cancel now,

228
00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:50,704
the wives will know
it's because they're going.

229
00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:52,009
Then it's official.

230
00:08:52,053 --> 00:08:55,143
Adam ruined everything,
forever and ever.

231
00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:56,710
What do you want me to do, huh?

232
00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:59,016
Walk into the lake
and let the leeches take me?

233
00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:00,714
Or should I dunk myself in honey

234
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:03,499
and let the bears
have their way with me?

235
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,892
There's a lot of ways
you can do it.

236
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:06,284
Don't just think of two.

237
00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:09,766
I was hoping someone would say,
"Don't feel bad."

238
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:13,117
Even if you said it now
would help.

239
00:09:13,161 --> 00:09:16,512
Wait, I have an idea.Let's hear it.

240
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,601
The only way
to salvage this thing

241
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:20,647
is to uninvite all the wives.

242
00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:24,172
Then we each blame it
on the other two guys.

243
00:09:24,215 --> 00:09:26,827
You can deliver the hat
to my house later.

244
00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:29,873
That won't work.
They talk to each other.

245
00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:32,136
They'll realize
we were just lying.

246
00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:34,356
No, they won't bring it up
'cause they'll feel bad

247
00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:36,706
the other ladies' husbands
are so rotten.

248
00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:38,708
I get it. Like,
if Marcy thinks

249
00:09:38,752 --> 00:09:40,144
Andi and Bev have
rotten husbands,

250
00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:41,929
she won't bring it
up unless they do.

251
00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:44,366
But they won't bring it up
because each of them thinks

252
00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:46,107
the other two have
rotten husbands.

253
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:49,153
What they don't know
is we're all rotten.

254
00:09:50,938 --> 00:09:52,592
Damn, that's good.

255
00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:56,334
What? That'll never work.

256
00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:58,336
You don't see it because
this is a whole new level

257
00:09:58,380 --> 00:09:59,860
of wife management.

258
00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:03,690
You're playing checkers
while Donny is playing chess.

259
00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:05,692
[scoffs]
I don't think so.

260
00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:07,432
I've played chess with Don.

261
00:10:07,476 --> 00:10:10,522
He makes clip-clop noises
when he moves the horse.

262
00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:12,133
Look, we've got a plan.

263
00:10:12,176 --> 00:10:14,135
Are you in or
are you out?

264
00:10:14,178 --> 00:10:17,965
Well, if you guys are gonna
uninvite Mom and Marcy,

265
00:10:18,008 --> 00:10:19,749
then I guess
I'll uninvite Andi.

266
00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:24,232
Good. Now tell your brother
thanks for saving the trip.

267
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:27,583
Dad says I say,
"Thanks for saving the trip."

268
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:28,758
Adam.

269
00:10:28,802 --> 00:10:31,282
I said it. What'd I say?

270
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:35,678
Hey, look at you.
[chuckles]: Hoo-hoo!

271
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:39,290
Someone fell asleep
in the foxy machine.

272
00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:42,424
I got you something.

273
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:44,339
What's the occasion?

274
00:10:44,382 --> 00:10:46,341
No occasion. Open it.

275
00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:47,821
[chuckles]:
Oh.

276
00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:49,126
[gasps]

277
00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:50,780
Oh, my gosh,
it's beautiful.

278
00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:53,957
I know. Yeah.
Read the card.

279
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:55,829
[chuckles]

280
00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:57,787
"Roses are red,
violets are blue.

281
00:10:57,831 --> 00:11:00,224
You can't come
to the cabin."

282
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:04,533
"And I love you."

283
00:11:05,708 --> 00:11:07,667
You-you stopped
before the rhyme.

284
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:09,930
That's what makes it sweet.

285
00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:14,021
I can't believe you just
uninvited me from your trip.

286
00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:16,110
Okay, look,
I wanted you to go,

287
00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:18,721
but Dad and Don said,
"No wives on the trip."

288
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:21,463
So, if you want
to blame someone, blame them.

289
00:11:21,506 --> 00:11:23,030
I was outvoted.

290
00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:26,598
Democracy. [scoffs]
Good on paper.

291
00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:29,471
So it's your dad
and Don's fault?

292
00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:32,561
Yes. That is
the most important point here.

293
00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:34,955
They're bad.

294
00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:37,305
I buy you bracelets.

295
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:40,700
Well, I guess I
can't be mad at you

296
00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:42,484
because they're
jackasses.

297
00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:44,747
No, you can't.

298
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,314
Poor Marcy and Bev.

299
00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:48,882
I know.

300
00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:50,579
You, uh...

301
00:11:50,622 --> 00:11:52,929
You're not gonna say anything
to them, are you?

302
00:11:52,973 --> 00:11:56,585
How could I? I
feel bad for them.

303
00:11:56,628 --> 00:12:00,154
You know, you're so
understanding about this,

304
00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:03,026
[chuckles]: you don't
even need the bracelet.

305
00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:07,030
So I could probably
get my money back.

306
00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:12,122
You keep it. Keep it!
You keep it.

307
00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:16,997
Don. [chuckles]

308
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,869
I got to give it to you.
Your idea worked.

309
00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:22,959
So, here. You're the
captain now. [chuckles]

310
00:12:23,003 --> 00:12:26,310
Wow. This means a lot.

311
00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:29,009
You guys put a lot of stock in
a hat I got for free one night

312
00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:31,011
after I finished
a three-pound lobster.

313
00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:32,795
Hey.

314
00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,797
So how'd it go when you guys
uninvited Mom and Marcy?

315
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:37,626
Check out the coats we
got for the cabin trip.

316
00:12:37,669 --> 00:12:38,888
BEV:
Oh, we can't wait.

317
00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:41,021
We are all gonna
have so much fun.

318
00:12:41,064 --> 00:12:42,457
[laughs]

319
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:46,461
[laughs]
Are you kidding me?!

320
00:12:46,504 --> 00:12:49,333
I-I don't know if this is
gonna make a difference,

321
00:12:49,377 --> 00:12:52,075
but we didn't do that
thing we said before.Mm.

322
00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:54,556
That makes a huge difference!

323
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:58,647
Dad, we agreed at the meeting.
What happened?

324
00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,518
Don called a meeting
after the meeting

325
00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:03,217
and said we'd look better
if you were the only bad one.

326
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:05,828
Well...I think it worked.

327
00:13:05,872 --> 00:13:07,438
Okay, you know what?

328
00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:09,353
I don't want anything
to do with this trip.

329
00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:12,095
You two go to the woods and
have your secret meetings, okay?

330
00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:14,532
Just remember, I'm the only guy
that ever brings toilet paper!

331
00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:17,448
Oh, and you know what?

332
00:13:17,492 --> 00:13:19,407
I'm telling Andi everything!

333
00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:20,930
Everything!

334
00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:23,977
[door closes]

335
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,979
Damn it, Donny!
Now we're screwed!

336
00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:28,982
You said this would be funny.
It wasn't funny at all!

337
00:13:29,025 --> 00:13:32,942
Well, I guess everyone's sense
of humor is a little different.

338
00:13:32,986 --> 00:13:33,987
Wha...?

339
00:13:40,602 --> 00:13:44,084
Hold on. You've been lying about
this cabin trip for 15 years?

340
00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:46,738
Well, not entirely.

341
00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:49,219
There is a cabin.

342
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:51,526
But if you wanted it
to be a guys' trip,

343
00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:52,832
why didn't you
just tell me?

344
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:55,008
Because I know
if you hear "guys' trip,"

345
00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:56,705
you'll feel left out,

346
00:13:56,748 --> 00:14:00,883
and I try to handle it nicely
every year so nobody gets upset.

347
00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:03,016
I call it "wife management."

348
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:04,626
[laughs]
Oh, you do, do you?

349
00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:06,323
Yeah.[both laugh]

350
00:14:06,367 --> 00:14:09,109
Yeah, I don't
like that phrase.Yeah. No, no, no, no.

351
00:14:09,152 --> 00:14:12,068
"Wife management."
[scoffs]

352
00:14:12,112 --> 00:14:14,418
Although,
it does sound familiar.

353
00:14:14,462 --> 00:14:16,812
Where have I heard that?

354
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,771
I'm glad we're going,
but I'm just not sure

355
00:14:19,815 --> 00:14:21,686
about staying in
some dirty old cabin.

356
00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:23,732
Oh, no, no, no.
Don't worry about that.

357
00:14:23,775 --> 00:14:25,560
I already found a great hotel.

358
00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:26,735
Oh.I'll just tell Adam

359
00:14:26,778 --> 00:14:28,693
that I was looking
at the weather up there,

360
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:31,000
and I just happened
to find it.

361
00:14:31,044 --> 00:14:34,830
That's called
"husband management."

362
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,398
No, never heard
anything like it.

363
00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:41,097
But, you know, 'cause
I'm so forgiving,

364
00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:43,665
I won't make a big
deal out of it.

365
00:14:43,708 --> 00:14:45,580
Thanks, honey.

366
00:14:45,623 --> 00:14:48,278
Yeah, but I got to say,
you told a lot of lies.

367
00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:50,628
It was the pressure
of being captain.

368
00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:52,239
You know how it is
with Dad.

369
00:14:52,282 --> 00:14:54,763
I'm always playing
second fiddle to Don.

370
00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:57,505
But for the first time,
Dad picked me,

371
00:14:57,548 --> 00:14:59,681
and I screwed it all up.

372
00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:01,552
I was so busy
trying to save it,

373
00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:04,468
I put the trip ahead of you,
and I'm sorry.

374
00:15:04,512 --> 00:15:06,862
I understand.
Thank you.

375
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,125
Your jackassery.

376
00:15:09,169 --> 00:15:12,172
Yeah. Came around
from behind on that one.

377
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:14,652
[chuckles]:
Yeah. Yeah.

378
00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:17,481
But, you know, it doesn't matter
anymore. I'm not going.

379
00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:20,876
Dad and Don are buddies, and
I should just stop chasing this.

380
00:15:22,443 --> 00:15:23,444
What are you doing here?

381
00:15:23,487 --> 00:15:25,794
We have something to say.

382
00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:27,839
Don, apologize
to your brother.

383
00:15:27,883 --> 00:15:31,365
[sighs]
Dad says I'm sorry.

384
00:15:31,408 --> 00:15:33,802
No. You're sorry,
and I'm sorry.

385
00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:35,891
Now give him
the damn hat.

386
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,633
Sorry I screwed you over.

387
00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:41,418
It was funny at the time,
then funny right after,

388
00:15:41,462 --> 00:15:43,203
then Dad said
it wasn't funny.

389
00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:45,814
Then driving over here,
it got funny again.

390
00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:47,772
But now I feel bad.

391
00:15:49,731 --> 00:15:51,820
This whole thing was my fault.

392
00:15:51,863 --> 00:15:54,388
I always liked to foster
competition between you boys,

393
00:15:54,431 --> 00:15:56,303
because I thought
it'd make you stronger,

394
00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:59,610
but in the end, you need to know
you can depend on your family,

395
00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:01,612
and we let you down.

396
00:16:01,656 --> 00:16:04,920
Wow. Thanks, Dad.

397
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:08,706
Plus, I know deep in my heart,

398
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:12,754
you're the one who's gonna visit
me in the home, and not Donny.

399
00:16:13,929 --> 00:16:17,802
You got me there, Pop.
Those places smell weird.

400
00:16:17,846 --> 00:16:20,109
And just to make
everything fair,

401
00:16:20,153 --> 00:16:23,112
we told our wives
everything, too.

402
00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:24,766
How'd that go?

403
00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:27,638
Bad.
Thanks for asking.

404
00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:29,640
The trip is dead.

405
00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:32,600
Here, you should
have this.

406
00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:34,645
You'll always be
the captain.

407
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,388
All right, come on.
I'll fix it.

408
00:16:40,825 --> 00:16:42,566
[chuckling]

409
00:16:42,610 --> 00:16:44,612
What are you
laughing at?

410
00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:46,831
Sorry. It just
got funny again.Oh.

411
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,877
[chuckling]

412
00:16:51,227 --> 00:16:53,360
Oh, look.

413
00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:55,449
Our lying husbands are here.

414
00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:57,103
Oh. And they brought

415
00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:59,844
Captain Pants On Fire with them.

416
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,413
How could you, Adam?How could I?

417
00:17:03,457 --> 00:17:05,633
Yes. All this happened
on your watch,

418
00:17:05,676 --> 00:17:08,244
so I'm gonna ask you
the same question I asked you

419
00:17:08,288 --> 00:17:12,074
in the sixth grade when I walked
in on you with that magazine.

420
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:14,424
Is this who you want to be?

421
00:17:14,468 --> 00:17:16,513
Okay, Mom,

422
00:17:16,557 --> 00:17:20,343
I don't think everybody needs
to hear that story. [chuckles]

423
00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:23,868
Listen, I know we're
disappointed in our husbands,

424
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:26,001
but the thing is, it-it
started out kind of innocently.

425
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,524
All they wanted
was a guys' trip,

426
00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:28,917
and they were
too scared to tell us.

427
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,701
Is this true, Don?

428
00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:32,268
I amvery afraid of you.

429
00:17:32,312 --> 00:17:34,488
What about you?

430
00:17:34,531 --> 00:17:36,055
I need a guys' trip.

431
00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:38,100
I've been saving up dirty jokes
for 11 months,

432
00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:40,233
and I got to get 'em out of me.

433
00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:43,279
Look at it this way. I mean,
yes, we could be mad at them,

434
00:17:43,323 --> 00:17:45,934
but that's really
"been there, done that," right?

435
00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:48,502
Our other option is
to just let 'em go.

436
00:17:48,545 --> 00:17:49,981
Why would we do that?

437
00:17:50,025 --> 00:17:52,941
Because then wecan go
on a girls' trip.

438
00:17:52,984 --> 00:17:54,899
Ooh, I'm interested.

439
00:17:54,943 --> 00:17:56,466
That's a great idea.

440
00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:57,989
You should do that.

441
00:17:58,033 --> 00:17:59,730
I vote "not mad"
girls' trip.

442
00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,993
How come we've never
been on a girls' trip?

443
00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:03,952
We didn't want
to hurt their feelings.
Oh.

444
00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:05,954
Oh. Well, that doesn't
matter anymore.

445
00:18:05,997 --> 00:18:07,825
Yeah, you guys go
to the cabin.

446
00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:09,218
Yeah, have fun.

447
00:18:09,262 --> 00:18:10,785
This is great.

448
00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:12,656
Look at that.
Everybody wins.Huh.

449
00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:14,919
We get our guys' trip,
and our wives are happy.

450
00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:16,965
Mm.You fixed it, babe.

451
00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:19,010
It's kind of like
it never happened.

452
00:18:19,054 --> 00:18:20,969
[chuckles]:
Oh, it happened.

453
00:18:21,012 --> 00:18:22,710
And I'm keeping the bracelet.

454
00:18:22,753 --> 00:18:25,974
Oh. Okay, but if you change
your mind within 30 days,

455
00:18:26,017 --> 00:18:29,020
just let me know--
Okay, keep it, keep it, keep it.

456
00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:31,458
Okay. Let's start
planning our trip.

457
00:18:31,501 --> 00:18:32,894
We can go anywhere we want.

458
00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:35,114
Ooh. How about
the Wisconsin Dells?

459
00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:36,854
MEN:
Ah.

460
00:18:36,898 --> 00:18:39,379
Or a spa.MEN: Ooh.

461
00:18:39,422 --> 00:18:42,599
Or... Vegas!MEN: What?

462
00:18:42,643 --> 00:18:44,166
That's the one.That one. That wins.

463
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:46,299
Then let's go book it.
Girls' trip!

464
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:47,909
What just happened?

465
00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:49,954
Vegas?
Now their thing is better.

466
00:18:49,998 --> 00:18:52,131
Yeah. At least
when we go on a fun trip,

467
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,263
we have the decency
to lie about it.Yeah.

468
00:19:01,314 --> 00:19:02,750
Well, that was a
great girls' trip.

469
00:19:02,793 --> 00:19:04,621
Do you know
that we single-handedly

470
00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:06,971
changed the all-you-can-drink
policy at two different bars?

471
00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:10,192
I still can't believe that
Bev won a mechanical bull rodeo.

472
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:11,889
Oh, yeah.

473
00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:15,066
That ThighMaster
really paid off.

474
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,591
Hey.

475
00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:19,027
Hey, you're home.Yeah.

476
00:19:19,070 --> 00:19:20,550
How was your trip?

477
00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:22,117
Pretty great. Yeah.

478
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:25,120
I was the only guy
that brought toilet paper.

479
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,644
That got me
the hat back.Mm.

480
00:19:27,688 --> 00:19:29,864
And I fell in the hole they dug.

481
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:32,388
Well done, guys.Yeah.

482
00:19:32,432 --> 00:19:34,042
We only ran into
one problem.

483
00:19:34,085 --> 00:19:36,914
Lowell had a bad reaction
to the bear spray.

484
00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:37,915
DON:
Yeah.

485
00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:40,440
[women gasping]

486
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:42,050
He thought you were supposed

487
00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:43,486
to spray it on yourself
like sunscreen.

488
00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:47,751
I could hear the bears laughing.

489
00:19:47,795 --> 00:19:49,362
[laughs]
That was us.

490
00:19:49,405 --> 00:19:51,320
Yeah. Hey, so,

491
00:19:51,364 --> 00:19:52,800
how was your girls' trip?

492
00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:54,062
Maybe we should go
with you next time.

493
00:19:54,105 --> 00:19:56,891
Oh. Uh, yeah, you
don't want to do that.

494
00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:58,327
It was really boring.

495
00:19:58,371 --> 00:20:00,068
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

496
00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:01,504
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org