1
00:00:03,177 --> 00:00:04,569
Here's to the sale
of our flip house.

2
00:00:04,613 --> 00:00:07,224
Much like me, it looks
good on the outside,

3
00:00:07,268 --> 00:00:09,096
but it has a
questionable foundation.

4
00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:10,358
[laughter]Cheers.

5
00:00:10,401 --> 00:00:12,360
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
don't jinx this thing.

6
00:00:12,403 --> 00:00:14,101
The buyers can still
back out until

7
00:00:14,144 --> 00:00:16,581
the end of business today,
which is in...

8
00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:19,149
four... three...

9
00:00:19,193 --> 00:00:20,759
Too late, suckers![laughter]

10
00:00:20,803 --> 00:00:22,065
Whoo!

11
00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:23,545
They're stuck with it!

12
00:00:23,588 --> 00:00:26,069
I mean, good for them.
It's a lovely home.

13
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:29,246
All right, Don and I
have a big surprise.

14
00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:31,161
The house sold
for more than we expected.

15
00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:32,728
We're putting
most of the money aside

16
00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:34,208
to buy another flip, but...

17
00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:36,645
But there's enough left for
everyone to get a nice bonus.

18
00:00:36,688 --> 00:00:37,776
[gasping and oohing]

19
00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:39,778
I was gonna do
that part.

20
00:00:39,822 --> 00:00:41,171
Yeah, but I wanted to do it.

21
00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:43,869
Look how much
they like me now.

22
00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:47,047
All I ask is that you don't
do anything practical

23
00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:49,136
with the money.
Reward yourselves.

24
00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:51,138
Like, Don and I are
using our bonuses

25
00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:53,401
to celebrate my 50th
birthday Burns style.

26
00:00:53,444 --> 00:00:54,619
Ah...![laughs]

27
00:00:54,663 --> 00:00:56,969
Whatever it is, I'm in.

28
00:00:57,013 --> 00:00:58,188
We're doing a week-long
dirt bike ride

29
00:00:58,232 --> 00:01:00,103
in Colorado down
a gnarly trail

30
00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:01,626
called the
Devil's Tailpipe.

31
00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:04,716
I'm out.

32
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,328
But I'd be back in
if you wanted to go

33
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,852
to the lake and paddle
around in a swan boat?

34
00:01:09,895 --> 00:01:12,811
Burns men don't do
swan boats, Lowell.

35
00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:16,554
You're just gonna have to
let that coupon expire.

36
00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:20,950
Sweetie? I say
this with love.

37
00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:22,604
But, um, you're
turning 50.

38
00:01:22,647 --> 00:01:24,649
I think the window
may have closed on you

39
00:01:24,693 --> 00:01:26,608
riding a motorcycle
down Satan's Butt Crack.

40
00:01:28,697 --> 00:01:30,655
Devil's Tailpipe.

41
00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:33,049
Wow. 50, huh?

42
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,137
[chuckles]

43
00:01:34,181 --> 00:01:36,357
That means you were 16
when I was born.

44
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,273
You could've driven my mother
to the hospital to have me.

45
00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:42,189
No more old jokes.
Got it.

46
00:01:42,232 --> 00:01:44,843
Okay, look,

47
00:01:44,887 --> 00:01:46,845
I have only
ever had two things

48
00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:49,152
on my bucket list:
the Devil's Tailpipe

49
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,154
and Angelina Jolie.

50
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:53,200
Angelina's just a lady
with a bunch of kids now,

51
00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:55,158
[chuckles]: and I already
have one of those.

52
00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:58,422
I just don't want
you to get hurt.

53
00:01:58,466 --> 00:02:01,251
Well, I...What do you think about
Don going on this trip?

54
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:02,731
I don't like it.

55
00:02:02,774 --> 00:02:04,167
Hey, best-case scenario,

56
00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:06,126
I come home
reenergized and happy.

57
00:02:06,169 --> 00:02:08,693
Worst-case scenario, my
life insurance is paid

58
00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:10,042
and you're rich.

59
00:02:11,305 --> 00:02:13,263
Okay, I'm coming around.

60
00:02:16,962 --> 00:02:18,486
Okay, it's time
to open presents.

61
00:02:18,529 --> 00:02:20,183
Look at all these gifts.

62
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:22,098
You told me people were
just bringing best wishes.

63
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:25,493
Happy birthday,
little brother.

64
00:02:25,536 --> 00:02:27,973
I wish you the best.

65
00:02:28,017 --> 00:02:30,106
That's from
me and Marcy.

66
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,761
All right, hey,
Mom and Dad.

67
00:02:32,804 --> 00:02:37,287
Thanks for...
whatever this is.

68
00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:38,941
It's a sock puller-upper.

69
00:02:39,811 --> 00:02:41,161
To help you put on your socks.

70
00:02:42,423 --> 00:02:43,772
Happy birthday, son.

71
00:02:43,815 --> 00:02:45,817
You've bent over
for the last time.

72
00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:51,127
I can put my own socks on.
I'm not old, I'm middle-aged.

73
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:54,130
50 isn't middle-aged,
it's two-thirds aged.

74
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,959
Happy birthday to you.

75
00:02:57,002 --> 00:02:59,179
Open mine.

76
00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:00,745
I love surprising people.

77
00:03:00,789 --> 00:03:02,704
It's a GoPro camera.
I couldn't wait.

78
00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:06,360
Andi got you a shirt.Lowell!

79
00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:12,279
This is cool! I could take
this to the Devil's Tailpipe!

80
00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:13,715
I can't believe you're
really doing that.

81
00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:16,283
Doing what?
What's the Devil's Tailpipe?

82
00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:19,460
Is it a sex club?
Oh, Adam.

83
00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:22,289
Yes, Ma, I'm going to
a sex club on my birthday.

84
00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:24,204
And I'm announcing it
in front of the whole family.

85
00:03:24,247 --> 00:03:25,292
You want to go?

86
00:03:26,684 --> 00:03:28,686
No, your son wants
to ride a motorcycle

87
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:30,210
down the side
of a mountain.

88
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:32,255
And he hasn't been on
a dirt bike in years.

89
00:03:32,299 --> 00:03:33,691
I'll be fine.

90
00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:36,128
You're only as old as you feel,
and I feel like a kid.

91
00:03:36,172 --> 00:03:37,260
This morning,
I put a banana

92
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,262
between two oranges
at the breakfast table

93
00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:42,178
and I laughed for ten minutes.[laughter]

94
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:45,312
I don't get it. What's funny
about a healthy breakfast?

95
00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:49,272
Look, Adam, you know
that, as you've aged,

96
00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:50,969
you've had to give
some things up.

97
00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:53,842
Even things you love.
Remember sauerkraut?

98
00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:56,105
I did love sauerkraut.Mm-hmm.

99
00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:57,802
I miss it every damn day.

100
00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:02,242
But sauerkraut has hurt way
more people than motorcycles.

101
00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:04,418
Let him go, Andi.

102
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:05,723
Believe me.

103
00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:08,204
A day will come when
all your husband wants to do

104
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:11,207
is just sit on the couch.

105
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,601
Where do you want
me to go, Bev?
I don't know.

106
00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:15,298
How about a nice nature walk?

107
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,213
I've already taken
a nice nature walk.

108
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,128
It's called Vietnam.

109
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:23,350
♪ Happy birthday to you

110
00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:27,571
♪ Happy birthday to you

111
00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:30,835
♪ Happy birthday, dear Adam

112
00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:33,534
♪ Happy birthday to you.

113
00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:34,578
Yeah.

114
00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:37,973
Thanks, everyone.

115
00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:40,671
Aw, um, here's
to 50 years young.

116
00:04:40,715 --> 00:04:42,804
Whoo.
Whoo!

117
00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:44,327
Ha-ha!

118
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,068
Ah, oh!

119
00:04:47,591 --> 00:04:49,201
Oh.What's wrong?

120
00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:50,246
[groans]

121
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,030
Did you just throw
your back out

122
00:04:52,074 --> 00:04:54,032
blowing out your
birthday candles?

123
00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:56,252
Of course not.

124
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,950
I'm relishing
this precious moment.

125
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:03,346
It's so emotional,
I think I need to be alone.

126
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,566
Don, come be alone with me.

127
00:05:09,047 --> 00:05:11,963
Look at this. I'm walking
like an old guy 'cause I'm 50.

128
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,530
[laughs]

129
00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:17,969
♪

130
00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:29,633
[groaning] Okay,
don't tell anyone,

131
00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:31,200
but I hurt my back.

132
00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:34,595
I don't need to tell anyone.
You look like a boomerang.

133
00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:36,771
If Andi thinks
I'm hurt,

134
00:05:36,814 --> 00:05:39,426
there's no way she'll let me
go on our dirt bike trip.

135
00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:41,253
You got, you got to
straighten my back out.

136
00:05:41,297 --> 00:05:42,690
All right, got it.

137
00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:46,258
[screams][grunts]

138
00:05:46,302 --> 00:05:48,043
[screams]

139
00:05:48,086 --> 00:05:49,566
[gasps]How do you feel now?

140
00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:51,263
Worse!

141
00:05:51,307 --> 00:05:52,700
Okay. Okay, well,
that's good.

142
00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:54,571
You're supposed to feel worse,
and then it gets better.

143
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:56,660
You put me back the way I was.
I can't take this.

144
00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:58,358
[sighs] Right.

145
00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:01,709
[screams]

146
00:06:01,752 --> 00:06:03,101
How do you feel now?

147
00:06:03,145 --> 00:06:04,886
Much worse.

148
00:06:04,929 --> 00:06:07,105
Okay. Okay, good, good.
We're making progress.

149
00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:10,979
Okay, now you're gonna
have to trust me on this.

150
00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:13,242
Whoa-whoa-whoa,
what's the rake for?

151
00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:16,637
For you to bite down on.
This is gonna hurt.

152
00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:21,685
All right, let's party.

153
00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:31,956
Are you seriously pretending
to be okay right now?

154
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,743
Why? So you can take that trip
down Lucifer's Heinie?

155
00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:38,354
I'm not pretending.

156
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,051
I have never felt better.

157
00:06:40,095 --> 00:06:43,838
Which is why I will be
riding the Devil's Tailpipe.

158
00:06:43,881 --> 00:06:47,189
And your mocking names only
make me want to go more.

159
00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:50,714
Well, if you feel fine,
why don't you try out

160
00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:52,194
your birthday present
from the kids?

161
00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:54,239
Huh? [grunts]

162
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,245
That's a bowling ball.

163
00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:01,943
Yeah.

164
00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:03,510
Pick it up.

165
00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:10,473
I already have one. Don,
why don't you take it?

166
00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:11,735
Mm, I can't pick that up.

167
00:07:11,779 --> 00:07:13,520
I, uh, I sort
of tweaked my neck

168
00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:15,783
when I was trying
to fix your...[mutters]

169
00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:18,612
...ack-bay.

170
00:07:19,743 --> 00:07:21,702
Nice work.

171
00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:23,791
She'll never crack that code.

172
00:07:26,184 --> 00:07:28,056
All right, you are not
going on that trip.

173
00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:29,492
Okay, you are
a 50-year-old man

174
00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:31,320
who injured himself
blowing out candles.

175
00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:35,759
Okay! I hurt my back.
A little.

176
00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:38,893
But I'll be fine
in a couple of days.

177
00:07:38,936 --> 00:07:43,201
Adam, I am the protector
of this family, okay?

178
00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:46,596
I told Kate, "No, you can't
zip-line over a volcano."

179
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,207
And I told Teddy,
"No, you can't jump over Emme

180
00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:50,513
with your bicycle."

181
00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:53,298
And now, I am telling you,
"No," okay?

182
00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:56,388
You cannot ride the "Make Me
Raise Our Kids Alone" Trail.

183
00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:57,477
[exhales]

184
00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:00,392
What if I get a note
from a doctor

185
00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:01,785
saying I am good to go?

186
00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:04,658
Well, yeah. Sure.

187
00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:06,660
Best of luck.
[chuckles]

188
00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:10,838
Just hope that note's not
too heavy for you to pick up.

189
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:16,539
[sighs]

190
00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:18,541
Dad, that's stealing.

191
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:21,065
This stuff
is complimentary.

192
00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:23,459
Like the soaps and
coffeemakers in hotel rooms.

193
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,635
[knock on door]

194
00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:29,857
Come in.

195
00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:35,602
Well... these back X-rays look
good for a man your age, Joe.

196
00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:37,952
Those are my X-rays.

197
00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:40,737
Oh. That's not good.

198
00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:43,958
You do any strenuous
activities lately?

199
00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:46,700
Well, I'm in construction,
so there's a lot of hammering,

200
00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:49,006
climbing ladders,
lifting stuff, you know.

201
00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:51,313
What my boy is trying
to say is he hurt his back

202
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:53,228
blowing out
some birthday candles.

203
00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:55,622
Well, that's just
part of getting older.

204
00:08:55,665 --> 00:08:56,971
Okay, here's the deal.

205
00:08:57,014 --> 00:08:58,973
I have a trip planned
to ride a dirt bike

206
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,583
down a mountain in Colorado.

207
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:03,325
It's been a lifelong dream.
Can I do it?

208
00:09:03,368 --> 00:09:06,110
You know, my lifelong dream
was to be a jazz pianist.

209
00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:09,244
If I had done that, I could
play you a sad song right now

210
00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:11,899
about how you can't go
on that trip.

211
00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:13,857
In my professional opinion,
you pulled something.

212
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,250
Huh, did you get that
from the X-ray,

213
00:09:15,293 --> 00:09:16,643
or from when I
walked in and said,

214
00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:18,645
"I think I pulled
something."

215
00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:20,560
Here's a list
of stretches you can do

216
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:21,691
to help
the healing process.

217
00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:30,700
We, uh, had a bunch
of Popsicles on the way over.

218
00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:36,010
So, Lowell, what are you
gonna do with your bonus?

219
00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:38,273
I'm trying to decide
between a savings bond

220
00:09:38,316 --> 00:09:40,362
or a potbellied pig.

221
00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:41,929
Well, y-you got to go
with the pig.

222
00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:43,757
If things get tough,
you can't make a sandwich

223
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:44,845
out of a savings bond.

224
00:09:46,281 --> 00:09:48,544
Well, I am gonna hire
a photographer

225
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,764
to take a family picture of us
in matching outfits.

226
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:53,941
And it's gonna look
a little something like this.

227
00:09:53,984 --> 00:09:55,551
Kids?

228
00:10:00,512 --> 00:10:02,732
This is the least happy
I've ever been.

229
00:10:03,907 --> 00:10:05,692
Not cool, Mom.

230
00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:08,042
I look like I just
escaped polygamy.

231
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:11,436
No, you look like
you just escaped the cute farm.

232
00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:15,266
Oh, hey, Joe.
How's Adam?

233
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:17,529
[groans]

234
00:10:17,573 --> 00:10:20,620
[chuckles] That's some fancy
lingerie, little brother.

235
00:10:21,925 --> 00:10:23,187
Dad, are you okay?

236
00:10:23,231 --> 00:10:24,928
And if you are,
help us.

237
00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:28,497
Uh, kids, why don't you
go get changed.[sighs]

238
00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,891
So? How was the doctor?

239
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:33,371
The motorcycle trip's off.
He said I can't go.

240
00:10:33,415 --> 00:10:35,939
I've been diagnosed
with excessive oldness.

241
00:10:35,983 --> 00:10:37,114
Yeah.

242
00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:38,507
But on the way out,
the nurse told me

243
00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:40,596
I'm an inch shorter than
I used to be, so I got that.

244
00:10:41,553 --> 00:10:42,729
Well, then I should
double-check.

245
00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:44,513
You may not be tall enough
for the swan boat.

246
00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:48,386
We're not doing
the swan boat, Lowell.

247
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:49,997
Honey, are-are you okay?I'm fine.

248
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,520
What about me
doesn't seem fine?

249
00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:53,957
Pretty much the
whole package.

250
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:55,829
Well, I guess you were right.

251
00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:58,135
It's time to act my age,
so from now on,

252
00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:00,572
this couch is where
I will be living.

253
00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:01,835
With my dad.

254
00:11:01,878 --> 00:11:03,010
Well, hold on,
hold on.

255
00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:04,402
You're-you're not
that age, either.

256
00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:06,056
[chuckles]
I'm not 20 anymore.

257
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,405
Yeah, but you're not 70.

258
00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:08,929
I am if you round up.

259
00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:09,973
Oh...

260
00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:11,801
I can't even
put on my own socks.

261
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:15,892
[chuckles, groans]

262
00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:17,198
[sighs]:
Oh, that's nice.

263
00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:19,026
Welcome to the
promised land, boy.

264
00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:22,029
[both laugh]

265
00:11:22,072 --> 00:11:23,987
BOTH:
Yeah...

266
00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:27,251
Are you seeing
what I'm seeing?

267
00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:30,559
Yeah. I'm married to Joe.

268
00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:33,997
[both laugh, sigh]

269
00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:42,136
TV REPORTER: New England is
enjoying a warm spell,

270
00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:44,138
but a low pressure system
is moving in.

271
00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:46,357
There's a twist
I did not see coming.

272
00:11:46,401 --> 00:11:49,709
Hmm. Low pressure's
a sneaky bastard.

273
00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:53,190
Okay, I think it's time
to get off the couch.

274
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:54,757
Okay? It's been a week.

275
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:57,978
Wha-- I would remind you,
I have a back injury.

276
00:11:58,021 --> 00:11:59,762
I can't get up now;
this weather lady's

277
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:02,547
about to stick a ruler
in the snow.

278
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:05,376
Ah, Joe, there you are.

279
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:07,814
Let's go. You promised
we'd take a walk in the park.

280
00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:09,511
Man, she's sneaky.

281
00:12:09,554 --> 00:12:11,600
Your mother's a damn
low pressure system.

282
00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:13,863
[both chuckle]

283
00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:15,473
A walk is the least you can do

284
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:17,084
since you won't exercise
with me at my gym.

285
00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:19,173
You just want to parade
me around that gym

286
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:21,262
in front of your gal pals
like a show pony.

287
00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:23,438
Well, now I can
parade you

288
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,788
in front of my gal pals
at the park.

289
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:28,573
At this point, I just hope
a hawk flies off with me.

290
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,623
Oh, what's this?

291
00:12:34,666 --> 00:12:39,323
[gasps] Why, it's the stretching
exercises the doctor gave you.

292
00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:42,805
Exercise number one: get up.

293
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:46,983
Hey, you need
to embrace my new lifestyle.

294
00:12:47,027 --> 00:12:48,680
Hey, you always wanted a cat.

295
00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:50,030
Think of me as a cat

296
00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:52,075
that can tell you
the weather.

297
00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:57,820
Hey, how about this?Hmm.

298
00:12:57,864 --> 00:13:01,781
Maybe we go upstairs
and fool around.

299
00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:03,826
That's your
favorite exercise.

300
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:06,568
[chuckles] I don't think I'll be
doing much of that anymore.

301
00:13:06,611 --> 00:13:10,006
Everything is connected
to the back. Even the front.

302
00:13:10,050 --> 00:13:13,096
All right.
That's it.

303
00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:15,838
Adam, I want you to go
on this motorcycle trip.

304
00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:18,841
What?If you do the stretches
that the doctor gave you

305
00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:21,801
and your back gets better,
I am fine with it.

306
00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:23,585
I thought you were worried
I'd get hurt.

307
00:13:23,628 --> 00:13:25,413
Yeah, well, now I'm more worried
about your mind

308
00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:26,936
than I am your body.

309
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:28,633
You just turned down
daytime sex.

310
00:13:28,677 --> 00:13:30,592
I mean, usually,
if I just stop moving,

311
00:13:30,635 --> 00:13:32,246
you take it as a go sign.

312
00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:33,987
Not true.

313
00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:36,206
I pretty much leave you alone
when you're sleeping.

314
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,165
I want my husband back.

315
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:40,210
You are Adam Burns. Okay?

316
00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:43,605
The man who, last Fourth of
July, forgot to put on sunscreen

317
00:13:43,648 --> 00:13:46,347
but still held his daughter
on his bright red shoulders

318
00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:48,392
so she could see the fireworks.

319
00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:49,872
[chuckles]:
Yeah. When she got down,

320
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,395
it was like peeling off
two giant Band-Aids.

321
00:13:51,439 --> 00:13:52,657
Yeah, but you did it.

322
00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:53,920
You're damn right I did.

323
00:13:53,963 --> 00:13:55,704
You've never backed down before,

324
00:13:55,747 --> 00:13:59,229
and you are not gonna
back down now, so get up.

325
00:13:59,273 --> 00:14:01,231
I'm getting up!

326
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:03,364
Get me up!

327
00:14:05,932 --> 00:14:07,498
And I'm gonna start
doing those exercises.

328
00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:08,848
Yeah, yeah,
you're not old.

329
00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:10,850
You're just aged,
like a good cheese.

330
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:13,983
So get moving.

331
00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:16,986
♪ Where have
all the good men gone ♪

332
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:19,902
♪ And where are all the gods?

333
00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:23,079
♪ Where's the streetwise
Hercules ♪

334
00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:27,040
♪ To fight the rising odds?

335
00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:30,130
♪ Late at night,
I toss and I turn ♪

336
00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:33,002
♪ And dream of what I need

337
00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:34,917
♪ I need a hero

338
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:38,921
♪ I'm holding out for a hero
till the morning light ♪

339
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:41,793
♪ He's got to be sure,
and it's got to be soon ♪

340
00:14:41,837 --> 00:14:45,014
♪ Got to be larger than life

341
00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:48,539
♪ Larger than life

342
00:14:48,583 --> 00:14:52,413
♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo...♪

343
00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:58,375
Hey.
Hey.

344
00:14:58,419 --> 00:14:59,942
Having a protein shake?

345
00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:00,900
Uh, chocolate shake.

346
00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:03,467
I've earned it.

347
00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:06,296
I put on my own socks today.

348
00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:08,298
I am so proud.

349
00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:09,865
Well, wait, it gets better.

350
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,694
I also went to the doctor
and got a clean bill of health.

351
00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:16,002
Plus, a bill
for some stuff Dad stole.

352
00:15:16,045 --> 00:15:17,829
I'm riding
the Devil's Tailpipe, baby.

353
00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:20,310
I can't believe I'm this excited
about you doing something

354
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:21,964
so insane.Ah, but it won't be.

355
00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:23,879
No. Don and I rented
a couple dirt bikes

356
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,099
to train on so we'll be ready.

357
00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:28,840
If only you and Don had rented
a birthday cake to train on,

358
00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:30,538
none of this
would've happened.

359
00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:36,152
Yo. Ready to ride?

360
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,155
We're just going
around the block.

361
00:15:39,199 --> 00:15:40,809
Why are you dressed
like a Power Ranger?

362
00:15:42,811 --> 00:15:45,596
Why are you dressed
like Bob the Builder?

363
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:49,949
Okay, truce.

364
00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:53,169
Let's do this.Yeah.

365
00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:55,128
I'm back!
[laughs]

366
00:15:57,521 --> 00:15:59,001
My back!

367
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:01,786
Are you okay?

368
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:03,440
D-Did you crash?

369
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:04,746
I turned my head
to change lanes.

370
00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:05,834
And then you crashed?

371
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:07,792
No, but I felt
my back tighten up.

372
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:09,838
And then you crashed?No, there was no crash!

373
00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:13,146
I turned my head
and threw my back out.

374
00:16:13,189 --> 00:16:14,799
It was the birthday cake
all over again.

375
00:16:15,887 --> 00:16:17,889
All of a sudden,
he slowed down.

376
00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:20,631
Kid on a tricycle blew by him,
then he just wobbled to a stop.

377
00:16:20,675 --> 00:16:21,676
It was hard to watch.

378
00:16:23,721 --> 00:16:27,508
I want to forget the bike trip
and never talk about it again.

379
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:30,032
It's dead to me,
like sauerkraut!

380
00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:34,036
Adam, I'm so sorry.Well, what about me?

381
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,256
I got to walk back
to get his bike.

382
00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:39,041
When you're in a suit like this
with no motorcycle under you,

383
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:40,651
people say hurtful things.

384
00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:47,441
ANDI:
Here's your muscle rub

385
00:16:47,484 --> 00:16:50,183
and some aspirin.

386
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:53,012
Or as your dad calls it, brunch.

387
00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:56,624
Thanks. Maybe that'll help
get me moving.

388
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:58,278
[chuckles, grunts]

389
00:16:58,321 --> 00:16:59,583
I'm sorry, I can't get up.

390
00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:01,585
No, no, no, it's
okay. You rest.

391
00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:04,545
Okay? I-I'll refill
your water, okay?

392
00:17:04,588 --> 00:17:06,677
Whoa! Got it. [laughs]

393
00:17:10,203 --> 00:17:14,033
So... your back
seems fine, Adam.

394
00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:18,863
That-that muscle rub
is a miracle.

395
00:17:19,864 --> 00:17:22,432
It just had to be
in the same room with me.

396
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:24,913
Ha. Heh. Huh.

397
00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:27,002
What's going on?

398
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,178
Okay.

399
00:17:29,222 --> 00:17:32,834
I'm not hurt. I...

400
00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:34,053
I just got spooked.

401
00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:36,577
I haven't been
on a dirt bike in a long time,

402
00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:40,189
and they're really fast now;
it was like riding a rocket.

403
00:17:40,233 --> 00:17:44,628
And I started thinking, as
I accidentally jumped a ditch.

404
00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:47,544
I got kids at home.
If something happens to me,

405
00:17:47,588 --> 00:17:49,372
you'd have to raise them
on your own.

406
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:51,635
And you'd just dress them up
funny all the time.

407
00:17:51,679 --> 00:17:55,248
I know you would,
and I can't do that to them.

408
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:57,815
So you faked being hurt
so you wouldn't have to go.

409
00:17:57,859 --> 00:18:00,862
If I can hurt my back
blowing out candles,

410
00:18:00,905 --> 00:18:03,821
what is gonna happen to me
on the Devil's Tailpipe?

411
00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:08,652
And if Don's the only one there
to help me, I'll die.

412
00:18:08,696 --> 00:18:11,655
Yeah, I mean, the only thing
you're gonna get from him

413
00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:13,570
is his best wishes.
[scoffs]

414
00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:17,226
I... I hate
to admit it, but...

415
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:19,663
I really am getting older.

416
00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:21,665
No! [gasps]

417
00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:23,232
You're the first one.

418
00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:25,669
[chuckles]:
All right, all right.

419
00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:28,063
Look, I'm just saying,
there comes a time

420
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:32,285
when you have to give up
on some of your dreams.

421
00:18:32,328 --> 00:18:33,634
Well...

422
00:18:34,722 --> 00:18:36,027
Wait. You know,

423
00:18:36,071 --> 00:18:39,161
I did some research,
and there are other rides.

424
00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:41,903
You know, uh, maybe instead
of the Devil's Tailpipe,

425
00:18:41,946 --> 00:18:44,993
you could pick a
less intense trail,

426
00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:47,996
like Marshmallow Flats.

427
00:18:48,039 --> 00:18:49,911
See, there are pictures,

428
00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:52,696
and the guys riding
Marshmallow Flats, they...

429
00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:55,873
they look a lot more like you.

430
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:59,747
I could ride the heck out
of Marshmallow Flats.

431
00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:03,838
Wha... Yeah, this
sounds really nice.

432
00:19:03,881 --> 00:19:05,709
There's a deli in the middle.

433
00:19:05,753 --> 00:19:08,669
Yeah. And-and a bed-and-
breakfast along the way.

434
00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:13,064
A soft bed would be nice
after a long day of riding.

435
00:19:13,108 --> 00:19:16,894
Yeah. See? It's all
about your perspective.

436
00:19:16,938 --> 00:19:19,419
A-And I haven't lost
my taste for danger.

437
00:19:19,462 --> 00:19:21,856
Okay? At that deli, I'm getting
sauerkraut on my Rueben.

438
00:19:21,899 --> 00:19:23,945
I'm doing it, Andi.
I can handle it.

439
00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:27,035
Absolutely.

440
00:19:27,078 --> 00:19:30,038
You'll pack Tums.I'll pack Tums.

441
00:19:30,081 --> 00:19:34,521
Because with age comes wisdom,
and with wisdom...

442
00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:36,914
[stammers]
Tums.

443
00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:38,829
Ooh.

444
00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:47,534
EMME:
My eyes are closed.

445
00:19:47,577 --> 00:19:49,797
TEDDY:
I was mid-sneeze.

446
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:52,843
We look real cult-y, Mom.

447
00:19:52,887 --> 00:19:56,195
Well, I look great, and it's
my bonus, so it's going up.

448
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:58,022
You know, if one of us
ever breaks the law,

449
00:19:58,066 --> 00:19:59,894
this is gonna be the picture
they put on the news.

450
00:19:59,937 --> 00:20:01,330
Ha!

451
00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:03,202
[door opens]

452
00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:05,595
[gasps]
You're back!

453
00:20:05,639 --> 00:20:06,683
Mm-hmm.And alive.

454
00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:08,903
[both laugh]Aw.

455
00:20:08,946 --> 00:20:10,861
How was Marshmallow Flats?

456
00:20:10,905 --> 00:20:12,776
Soft and flat. I loved it.

457
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:14,778
Aw.
I don't want to brag,

458
00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:17,172
but I got told to slow down
at least five times.

459
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,260
[chuckles]

460
00:20:21,829 --> 00:20:23,309
Why is he still
wearing his gear?

461
00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:25,876
I don't think he knows
how to get out of it.Oh.

462
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,791
[sighs]

463
00:20:27,835 --> 00:20:29,053
W-What happened to him?

464
00:20:29,097 --> 00:20:30,751
Did he crash?No.

465
00:20:30,794 --> 00:20:32,622
We just spent a lot
of time at that deli,

466
00:20:32,666 --> 00:20:34,407
and tough guy over there
wouldn't take the Tums.

467
00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:38,541
It burns.
Too much pastrami.

468
00:20:38,585 --> 00:20:41,109
Looks like he's gonna be riding
that Devil's Tailpipe after all.

469
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:50,640
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

470
00:20:50,684 --> 00:20:54,688
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org