1 00:00:04,874 --> 00:00:08,008 Hey, the flip-house looks great. 2 00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:09,313 Are you cleaning? 3 00:00:09,357 --> 00:00:12,099 No, I'm robbing the place. Yes, I'm cleaning. 4 00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:14,840 Andi starts work with us tomorrow, 5 00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:16,799 and you know what I realized at 2:00 this morning? 6 00:00:16,842 --> 00:00:18,453 I didn't think this through. 7 00:00:18,496 --> 00:00:20,324 Well, I don't think anything through 8 00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:21,847 and I sleep like a baby. 9 00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:25,025 She's gonna be here all the time. 10 00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:27,636 So I came up with a solution, I'm wife-proofing. 11 00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:32,249 Oh, it's like baby-proofing, but so you don't end up crying. 12 00:00:32,293 --> 00:00:35,644 Exactly. Hey, like, look at our fridge, huh? 13 00:00:35,687 --> 00:00:37,341 It's full of work beers. 14 00:00:37,385 --> 00:00:41,128 Wives don't understand the concept of work beers. 15 00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:43,695 At NASA, they had an open bar in mission control 16 00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:45,871 and they still landed on the moon. 17 00:00:45,915 --> 00:00:48,004 I don't think they had that. 18 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:51,268 I know space history, that's my area, okay? 19 00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:53,314 Oh. 20 00:00:53,357 --> 00:00:56,317 I've got to get rid of these Sausage McMuffin wrappers. 21 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,145 Andi sees me have breakfast at home, 22 00:00:58,188 --> 00:01:01,496 she doesn't need to know I have second breakfast here. 23 00:01:01,539 --> 00:01:05,587 Andi won't be mad; it's a second breakfast, not a second wife. 24 00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:07,545 No, she won't get mad, but she will want 25 00:01:07,589 --> 00:01:09,112 to have a conversation about it. 26 00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:10,548 "Why do you need a second breakfast?" 27 00:01:10,592 --> 00:01:12,115 "Are you swallowing feelings?" 28 00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:14,030 The problem is, 29 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,945 wives want to dive into stuff. 30 00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:18,121 But there's no deep end in the man pool. 31 00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:20,645 It's three feet all the way across. 32 00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:24,084 We keep it simple, and we get stuff done, huh? 33 00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:25,911 Oh, which reminds me. 34 00:01:25,955 --> 00:01:28,914 What do we do if Andi's here and we get done with work early? 35 00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:32,135 The usual: We hit the batting cages, eat some hotdogs. 36 00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:34,311 Second lunch, you taught me that. 37 00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:37,227 No, no, because then Andi will wonder 38 00:01:37,271 --> 00:01:39,011 why do I want to hang out with the guys? 39 00:01:39,055 --> 00:01:40,578 Why don't I want to be home? 40 00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:42,058 So from now on, 41 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,799 if we finish work early, we say, 42 00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:47,803 "Wow, we finished work early for the first time ever. 43 00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:51,546 Let's rush right home and be with our families." Hmm? 44 00:01:51,589 --> 00:01:53,374 That doesn't sound like us. 45 00:01:54,897 --> 00:01:56,899 We're gonna have to call the hotdog guy 46 00:01:56,942 --> 00:01:58,683 and let him know we're okay. 47 00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:02,209 Also, Don, I have terrible news. 48 00:02:02,252 --> 00:02:04,211 You have to take down your tool girl calendar. 49 00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:07,344 No. Not Donny's Angels. 50 00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,694 I'll just put Post-its over their naughty bits, 51 00:02:09,738 --> 00:02:11,870 and then we can lift them up like little skirts. 52 00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:14,830 If you don't take it down, Andi's gonna have questions. 53 00:02:14,873 --> 00:02:16,571 "Why do you feel the need to look at other women?" 54 00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:18,486 "Is Marcy not enough for you?" 55 00:02:18,529 --> 00:02:22,229 I love Marcy. When she makes a calendar, I'll buy that. 56 00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:24,056 Take it down. 57 00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:25,754 And don't put it in your desk; you'll spend all day 58 00:02:25,797 --> 00:02:27,103 with your head in the drawer. 59 00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:33,762 Hey, Dad, thanks for taking the kids to school.My pleasure. 60 00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:35,546 It's your first day working with your wife, 61 00:02:35,590 --> 00:02:38,549 so I wanted to be here to say "nice knowing you." 62 00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:40,769 I think I'll be all right. 63 00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:43,206 You're gonna be together all day, every day. 64 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,774 She's gonna get a real long look at you. 65 00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:48,385 And the more they look, the more they see. 66 00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:50,257 Who're you talking to, huh? 67 00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,084 I already wife-proofed the trailer. 68 00:02:52,128 --> 00:02:54,435 I hid stuff like a good husband. 69 00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:56,959 Good morning, fellas. 70 00:02:57,002 --> 00:02:58,395 This is it, honey. 71 00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:00,963 You and me working together. 72 00:03:01,006 --> 00:03:02,921 Hey, can we hold hands at the office? Probably not. 73 00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:05,750 I won't. I might. I don't know. Aren't you excited? 74 00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:08,579 Of course I am. Yeah. I'm so excited, 75 00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:11,843 I am gonna hold your hand right now, what do you think of that? 76 00:03:11,887 --> 00:03:13,671 I like it. [laughs] 77 00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:16,108 Working together's already so fun. 78 00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:17,501 Give it time. 79 00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,287 Hey, guys, we made you something. 80 00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:21,984 Wh...? 81 00:03:22,027 --> 00:03:24,595 Mom and Dad lunch boxes. Cool. 82 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,597 You guys are so sweet. 83 00:03:26,641 --> 00:03:27,859 Well, we just think it's great you guys 84 00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:29,296 are starting this new chapter together. 85 00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:31,036 It's going to be wonderful. 86 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,690 [chuckles] 87 00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:35,215 Well, we love you guys. Have a great day at school. 88 00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:38,435 I bet their day won't be as great as ours. 89 00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:40,132 Uh, definitely not. 90 00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:41,830 You guys are adorable. 91 00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:44,136 [laughs] Have fun. 92 00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:47,139 20 bucks says they won't make it a week. 93 00:03:47,183 --> 00:03:48,663 I'll take that action. 94 00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:52,406 ♪ 95 00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,418 Here she is. 96 00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:05,897 Can we get a warm welcome 97 00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:09,597 for our new interior decorator, Andi Burns? 98 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:10,815 I mean it, clap. 99 00:04:12,817 --> 00:04:14,689 Thank you, thank you. 100 00:04:14,732 --> 00:04:17,082 Don't get me used to that or you'll have to do it every day. 101 00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:22,087 [sighs] Man, it's clean in here. 102 00:04:22,131 --> 00:04:23,263 Is it? 103 00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:26,744 Hey, where is Don's nudie calendar? 104 00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:30,400 Oh. Oh, I took that down because I got tired 105 00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:32,576 of looking at half-naked ladies. 106 00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,404 You got to grow up sometime. 107 00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:37,625 We're so proud of him.Uh-uh. 108 00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:40,323 Did you change things for me? 109 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,717 I mean, did you, like, wife-proof? 110 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,371 Wife-proof? 111 00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:45,894 What's that? 112 00:04:45,937 --> 00:04:48,766 You can't just make up words. 113 00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:52,422 Listen, honey, don't think of me as your wife here, okay? 114 00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:53,902 Nothing has to change. 115 00:04:53,945 --> 00:04:56,687 I am just one of the guys. 116 00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:59,037 Well, since you're one of the guys, I should tell you 117 00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:02,606 that somebody's wife is coming in today, so be cool. 118 00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:05,305 I'm serious, I can hang. 119 00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:07,350 Then great. I'm gonna put my calendar back up. 120 00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:08,960 I didn't grow out of it at all. 121 00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:11,833 If anything, the older I get, the more I need it. 122 00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:14,488 Although, it does make me wonder, 123 00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:17,447 why do you feel the need to look at those girls? 124 00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:18,709 There it is. 125 00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:20,885 You can't say "wife" without "why." 126 00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:24,585 Hey, Donny's Angels are Donny's business. 127 00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:27,849 Maybe Adam was right to be worried about you working here. 128 00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,938 He said he was worried? 129 00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:31,156 You told me you were excited. 130 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,202 I-I am excited. 131 00:05:33,245 --> 00:05:35,596 Let's hear it again for Andi Burns. 132 00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,687 So you told them you were worried about working with me. 133 00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:42,254 To be honest, when I hear you say it, 134 00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:44,648 it doesn't sound like something I'd say. 135 00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:46,868 Right, guys? Back me up here. 136 00:05:46,911 --> 00:05:48,870 Wow, we finished early for the first time ever. 137 00:05:48,913 --> 00:05:50,611 Let's rush right home to be with our families. 138 00:05:55,093 --> 00:05:56,704 Okay, fine. 139 00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:59,663 If I was worried about anything, it's that... 140 00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:01,535 it's that you like to dig into things 141 00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:03,798 and talk about people's feelings. 142 00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:06,888 Why this? Why that? Why? Why? Why? 143 00:06:06,931 --> 00:06:09,020 Why does that bother you so much? 144 00:06:09,064 --> 00:06:10,631 At home it's great, 145 00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,633 it's tolerable, it's great. 146 00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:16,419 But in this office, we like to keep things nice and shallow. 147 00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,552 Okay? Otherwise, you open up a whole can of worms 148 00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:20,249 and we don't get any work done. 149 00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:23,208 And believe me, those two guys have got a lot of worms. 150 00:06:23,252 --> 00:06:25,863 Well, I don't want to get in the way of work. 151 00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:29,258 Okay, I can be shallow. 152 00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:30,390 That's my girl. 153 00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:31,826 [chuckles] Yeah. 154 00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:33,610 Put Don's nudie calendar back up 155 00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:36,047 and I won't ask why he likes it. 156 00:06:36,091 --> 00:06:38,659 Even though it's a clear indication of deeper problems. 157 00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:40,748 Great. I-It's in Lowell's drawer. 158 00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:47,058 Oh, my God. 159 00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:48,886 Yeah, I-I know. That calendar's a little much. 160 00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:50,453 We'll skip December. 161 00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,760 Mrs. Claus does not hold a wrench like that. 162 00:06:52,803 --> 00:06:55,806 No, no. Look at this. 163 00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:59,288 It's a lease for an apartment Lowell rented a month ago. 164 00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:00,985 Why would he rent an apartment? 165 00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:04,902 I don't know.He has a house with a wife and kids. 166 00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:07,035 [gasps] Do you think he and Jen split up? 167 00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:09,341 How's his mood? Does he seem okay? 168 00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:11,909 H-- These are not shallow questions, honey. 169 00:07:11,953 --> 00:07:13,433 Okay? Around here, we like to stick 170 00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:16,697 to stuff like, "What kind of sauce is that?" 171 00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:19,482 Sorry, you're right, I agreed. 172 00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:21,049 Thank you. All right. 173 00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:23,443 Now, let's get to work, huh? 174 00:07:24,705 --> 00:07:25,923 [clears throat] 175 00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:28,230 Okay, that thing I just agreed to? 176 00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:29,753 I don't want to do that anymore. 177 00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:31,189 Um, you have to talk to Lowell. 178 00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:33,061 But it's none of our business. 179 00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:35,542 Okay? If he wanted to talk about it, he would've talked about it. 180 00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:37,892 Well, maybe he doesn't feel comfortable talking about it 181 00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:40,416 because you don't make him feel comfortable talking about it. 182 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,070 You know what you're doing right now? 183 00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:43,593 You're opening up a can of worms. 184 00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:45,377 And you know what worms catch? 185 00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:47,858 The fish of truth. 186 00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:50,513 Look how happy you are with yourself, huh? 187 00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:52,602 It's like your face thinks what you said makes sense. 188 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:56,606 I'm sorry, Adam, you have to talk to Lowell. 189 00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:57,607 There's no other choice. 190 00:07:57,651 --> 00:07:59,087 There's lots of other choices. 191 00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:01,393 Like ignoring it. I choose that choice. 192 00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:05,180 I told you there'd be trouble on day one. 193 00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:07,748 Pay up, shorties. 194 00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:09,010 Will you take a mini Snickers? 195 00:08:09,053 --> 00:08:11,534 Damn right I will. 196 00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:13,362 Lowell rented an apartment. 197 00:08:13,405 --> 00:08:14,537 That's the kind of thing people do 198 00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:15,843 when their marriage is breaking up. 199 00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:17,366 So go check on your friend. 200 00:08:17,409 --> 00:08:20,630 You know we got no work done today, right? 201 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,416 This is why I was reluctant 202 00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:26,027 for you to come to the office. 203 00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:28,333 Oh, so now it's reluctant. 204 00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:30,553 It's gone from worried to reluctant. 205 00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:33,338 Stop listening to my words and let me talk. 206 00:08:33,382 --> 00:08:35,079 Hmm? 207 00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:38,343 Okay, well, if you want to talk, go talk to Lowell. 208 00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:40,476 Share your feelings with him and then report back to me. 209 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,565 I don't want to do that. I work with him. 210 00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:45,046 That's right, he's part of your work family. 211 00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:47,004 That is a phrase that a wife made up, 212 00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:48,528 That's not a real thing. 213 00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:50,834 [sighs] Okay, but aren't you curious 214 00:08:50,878 --> 00:08:52,096 why he rented an apartment? 215 00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:54,534 No, I am never curious why. 216 00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:57,711 When the NASA guys were boozing it up in mission control 217 00:08:57,754 --> 00:09:01,323 and someone said let's go to the moon, nobody asked why. 218 00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:04,718 Okay, you don't have to talk to Lowell. 219 00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:06,633 Oh. [sighs] 220 00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:10,114 We can just sit here and talk about why you don't want to. 221 00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:13,291 Oh. I'll go. 222 00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:14,728 Oh. 223 00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:16,512 Another piece of space history for you. 224 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,122 The reason those guys wanted to go to the moon 225 00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,428 is they were all married. 226 00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:27,044 I don't get it. Why do I have to come to Lowell's apartment? 227 00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:30,308 Nobody gets to ask me why anymore. 228 00:09:30,352 --> 00:09:34,269 You're so tense, maybe you need an apple juice or something. 229 00:09:34,312 --> 00:09:36,663 I brought you with me just in case Andi's right 230 00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:38,490 and Lowell's all emotional. 231 00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:42,016 You're like a funny thing for him to look at. 232 00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:43,321 This is it. 233 00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:44,627 All right, let's do this. 234 00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,586 You and me together, brother. 235 00:09:49,197 --> 00:09:51,721 Adam. How'd you find me? 236 00:09:51,765 --> 00:09:54,158 We came to make sure you were all right. 237 00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:56,030 Who's we? Me and... 238 00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:58,598 What? 239 00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:01,513 I'll be in the car. You got this. 240 00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:06,127 Andi found the lease to this place and thinks maybe 241 00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:08,216 you and Jen split up or something. 242 00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:10,305 Oh. Well, everything's great. 243 00:10:10,348 --> 00:10:12,655 I knew it. [laughs] Of course it is. 244 00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:16,790 Jen and I are just exploring the adventure of marital separation. 245 00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:19,967 You did split up. 246 00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:21,533 W-Why didn't you say anything? 247 00:10:21,577 --> 00:10:22,970 It's only temporary. 248 00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:24,972 More of a housing glitch than anything. 249 00:10:25,015 --> 00:10:28,715 The glitch being she chases me away when I go near our house. 250 00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:33,328 Okay. Uh, that sounds like something 251 00:10:33,371 --> 00:10:35,417 you might want to share feelings about. 252 00:10:37,419 --> 00:10:40,074 I'm ready. Do it. Just do it. 253 00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:41,728 I don't want to talk about it. 254 00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:43,468 There are no feelings here. 255 00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:44,992 That's good. Great. 256 00:10:45,035 --> 00:10:46,558 Keep it inside like a man. 257 00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:48,735 Hey, you got any beer? 258 00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,258 We can celebrate your independence. 259 00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:52,477 I only have light beer.Perfect! 260 00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:55,567 Light beer, because we keep it light, huh? 261 00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:58,614 [laughs] Oh. 262 00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:04,707 This is where you're staying? 263 00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,230 It's cozy. 264 00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:08,798 I eat there, 265 00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:10,452 I sit there, 266 00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:12,280 sometimes, I walk over there, 267 00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:13,673 but then I come back over here, 268 00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:15,849 because this is where the party happens. 269 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,505 You don't even have a TV. 270 00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:23,291 A TV, Lowell! 271 00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:24,945 I don't mind. I just tape my phone 272 00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:26,468 to the wall and watch that. 273 00:11:26,511 --> 00:11:29,340 Okay. I guess that's something. 274 00:11:29,384 --> 00:11:31,647 Wait. 275 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,301 Where's the bed? 276 00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,651 I grabbed my daughter's sleeping bag on the way out. 277 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,697 But it's three feet long. 278 00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:41,657 That's okay. These days, I sleep in the fetal position. 279 00:11:43,528 --> 00:11:45,617 You said there wouldn't be feelings. 280 00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:48,185 That gives me a big feeling, Lowell! 281 00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:50,666 I'm sorry. Do you want to 282 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,321 walk over there for a second and come back over here? 283 00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:54,844 It helps me. 284 00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:57,064 All right, get your stuff. 285 00:11:57,107 --> 00:11:58,282 You're coming with me. 286 00:11:58,326 --> 00:11:59,980 Really? Well, I can't leave you here. 287 00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:02,112 You have no TV. You'll die! 288 00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:14,516 So Lowell's staying with us? 289 00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:16,605 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 290 00:12:16,648 --> 00:12:19,129 [chuckles] Are you happy now? 291 00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:21,871 I am happy. I think it's a good thing I went to work today. 292 00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:26,789 When I ask, "Are you happy now?", it means I'm not happy. 293 00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:29,139 Okay, well, after we help Lowell, we'll help you. 294 00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:31,011 Oh. [laughs] Pantry! 295 00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:39,236 Don't... don't you see what you did? 296 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:42,544 If I don't know about stuff, I don't have to fix it. 297 00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,807 That's why I turn off the UNICEF commercial 298 00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:46,853 before they show the kids. 299 00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:49,856 Otherwise, it's too sad, and I end up buying 'em a goat. 300 00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:51,292 You know how many goats 301 00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:53,860 are running around villages named Adam? 302 00:12:53,903 --> 00:12:55,339 They-they don't name the goats after... 303 00:12:55,383 --> 00:12:58,168 Yes, they do. Yes, they do. 304 00:12:58,212 --> 00:13:00,475 You put me in this position! 305 00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:02,651 Oh. So you're mad 306 00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:04,696 because I think you're a good person? 307 00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:06,524 I don't love it. 308 00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:09,484 And now, thanks to you, I got a giant sad kid on my couch, 309 00:13:09,527 --> 00:13:10,964 and I got to fix it. 310 00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:13,618 Because you're a sweet and sensitive man. 311 00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:16,491 That's a low blow, Andi. 312 00:13:19,233 --> 00:13:21,496 Why didn't you tell us you and Jen split up? 313 00:13:21,539 --> 00:13:23,019 Because it's just temporary. 314 00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:24,716 Yeah, Lowell explained to us 315 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,327 that he's giving Jen some space 316 00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:28,546 while she temporarily sleeps 317 00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,679 with her horse-riding instructor. 318 00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:35,858 Yeah, the whole car ride home was one long UNICEF commercial. 319 00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,860 I have a question. 320 00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,862 She's with a horse guy, right? 321 00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:41,733 It makes me wonder. 322 00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:43,735 Do you think "roll in the hay" comes 323 00:13:43,779 --> 00:13:45,346 from doing it in the hayloft? 324 00:13:47,522 --> 00:13:50,003 Maybe let's save the questions for the end. 325 00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:52,005 Guys, I'm fine. 326 00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:53,876 I'm sure we'll be back together soon. 327 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,836 I-I have another question. 328 00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:58,098 No, no, no. No. 329 00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:01,362 It's a real one. 330 00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:03,407 If she did this to you, 331 00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:05,845 why do you want her back? 332 00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:08,282 Every so often, he surprises you. 333 00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:13,504 Like a whale surfacing next to your kayak. 334 00:14:14,723 --> 00:14:16,638 Startling, but beautiful. 335 00:14:16,681 --> 00:14:18,074 [chuckles]: Yeah. 336 00:14:18,118 --> 00:14:21,077 I want her back because she's my... 337 00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,471 We've been... 338 00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:26,822 Why doI want her back? 339 00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,433 I was a great husband 340 00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:31,348 and she wasn't that good a wife. 341 00:14:31,392 --> 00:14:33,133 This is a little thing, 342 00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:35,918 but she never once replaced an empty toilet paper roll. 343 00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,833 I think she did it just to make me duck-walk 344 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,488 around the house with my pants around my ankles. 345 00:14:40,531 --> 00:14:42,882 Ah, yes, the march of the penguins. 346 00:14:44,274 --> 00:14:46,233 I deserve better! 347 00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:48,931 You know what? You really do. 348 00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:49,976 And you're on my team now, 349 00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:52,152 and no one screws with my team. 350 00:14:52,195 --> 00:14:53,588 I want to do something. 351 00:14:53,631 --> 00:14:55,198 I just... I don't know what. 352 00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:56,983 I'll tell you what you're gonna do. 353 00:14:57,026 --> 00:15:00,595 Look at him. He's gonna buy that kid a goat. 354 00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:04,077 You and the team are gonna go over to your house, 355 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:07,210 get all your stuff and let Jen know that you are moving on. 356 00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:08,559 Yes! Right? 357 00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:10,257 No. Why? 358 00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:11,998 We can't. Her and the girls are at her parents', 359 00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:13,913 and she changed the locks on our house. 360 00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:17,046 What? She changed the locks on you after what shedid? Oh. 361 00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:20,267 I really want to slap this girl right in the sweet potatoes. 362 00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:22,617 Oh. 363 00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:24,706 So we'll just break in. Then when she gets back 364 00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:26,316 and sees that all your stuff is gone, 365 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:27,970 she'll be in for a big surprise. 366 00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:30,233 Yeah, a meansurprise.[laughs]: Yeah. 367 00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:33,933 Like I got the day I came to pick her up early at the barn. 368 00:15:33,976 --> 00:15:36,152 Let's not look back. Let's look forward. 369 00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:38,328 I bet she was looking back, though, right? 370 00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:44,160 What? I've been good this whole time. I don't get one? 371 00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,955 [tool clatters]Shh! 372 00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:06,052 ANDI: Oh. Okay. Let go. Let go! 373 00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:08,097 Ooh. [thuds] 374 00:16:10,317 --> 00:16:12,058 [sighs] 375 00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:14,451 This is like when Dad tried to save money on the pony ride. 376 00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,105 Just go. No, yougo ahead. 377 00:16:16,149 --> 00:16:18,542 Okay, I'm taking you with me. What? What? 378 00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:20,588 [thudding] 379 00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:24,592 What are you doing? 380 00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:26,463 Hiding the remote under the cushion. 381 00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:28,117 Try and change the channel now, Jen. 382 00:16:28,161 --> 00:16:31,425 You'll have to walk to the TV like a sucker. 383 00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:33,079 Okay, let's just get Lowell's stuff and get out of here. 384 00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:35,646 Relax. Nobody saw us break in. 385 00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:37,474 We were sneaky, like ninjas. 386 00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:38,867 [knocking at door] 387 00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:40,695 WOMAN: Shady Side Security. 388 00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:42,044 ADAM: Shh. 389 00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:43,698 They don't know we're in here. 390 00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,439 WOMAN: I know you're in there. 391 00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:48,181 One of you is wearing light-up shoes. 392 00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:51,184 I told you not to wear those stupid shoes. 393 00:16:53,838 --> 00:16:56,145 Marcy and I are going power-walking after this. 394 00:16:56,189 --> 00:16:58,147 Safety first, guys. 395 00:16:58,191 --> 00:16:59,844 [knocking at door] 396 00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:01,803 Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 397 00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:04,066 What are you gonna say?Don't worry. I got this. 398 00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:08,244 Thank God you're here. 399 00:17:08,288 --> 00:17:10,899 These violent criminals broke into my house. 400 00:17:10,942 --> 00:17:13,554 Look, Mr. Franklin, your wife told the office 401 00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:17,558 you two separated and to keep an eye out for you, so, let's go. 402 00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:20,126 Wait a minute. Where's the other guy? 403 00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:25,087 What other guy? 404 00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:27,829 They don't pay me enough to care. Come on. 405 00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:29,918 If I ever 406 00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:32,660 become a criminal, this is the first neighborhood I'm hitting. 407 00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:35,706 ANDI: I can't believe 408 00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:37,143 Adam ditched us. 409 00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:39,493 I thought if anybody'd run away, it'd be you. 410 00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:41,669 Well, I wouldn't have gotten very far. 411 00:17:41,712 --> 00:17:44,106 The faster I move, the brighter my shoes blink. 412 00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:47,414 Why did I hide the remote? 413 00:17:47,457 --> 00:17:49,111 I should've taken it! 414 00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:50,547 Everyone loves finding the remote. 415 00:17:50,591 --> 00:17:52,419 Now she's gonna find it and be happy. 416 00:17:52,462 --> 00:17:54,595 That's not payback! 417 00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:56,466 Where have you been? 418 00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:58,033 Well, 419 00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,643 while you jokers were getting caught, 420 00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:01,950 I hid in the closet like a ninja. 421 00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:07,912 You can't just say normal things and then add "like a ninja." 422 00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:10,524 I ate a meatball sandwich... like a ninja. 423 00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:13,048 Don't step on my moment, Andi. 424 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,702 I'm getting to something good. 425 00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:18,009 Okay, now, I didn't get your clothes, 426 00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:20,577 because, well, honestly, I couldn't tell the difference 427 00:18:20,621 --> 00:18:22,144 between yours and Jen's. 428 00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:25,800 But I did find a way 429 00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:28,019 to make her very unhappy. 430 00:18:28,063 --> 00:18:30,196 This is my gift to you. 431 00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:39,857 Her toilet paper? 432 00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:42,947 He took her toilet paper! That's so imaginative. 433 00:18:42,991 --> 00:18:46,516 Huh? Every roll in the house. 434 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,171 Who's gonna be doing the march of the penguins now? 435 00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:52,479 Oh, that is good. [laughs] Yeah. 436 00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:55,177 Plus, it saves me a run to Costco. 437 00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:57,005 Yeah. Yeah. And now, 438 00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:58,702 there's no one there to replace it. 439 00:18:58,746 --> 00:19:01,183 She is gonna regret the day she let you go. 440 00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:03,533 Every time she has to go.Yeah. 441 00:19:03,577 --> 00:19:05,405 Mm-hmm. 442 00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:07,798 Now thatis payback. 443 00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:09,539 Enjoy the duck walk. 444 00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:11,802 Quack quack, Jen. 445 00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:14,544 Thank you for this. 446 00:19:14,588 --> 00:19:16,242 You're welcome. 447 00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:22,291 You hug like a ninja. 448 00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:26,339 Thank you, Lowell. 449 00:19:32,562 --> 00:19:34,521 Okay, Lowell is out cold. 450 00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:36,740 He really does sleep in the fetal position. 451 00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:39,917 I tried to straighten him out, 452 00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:42,224 and he just snapped right back, like a curly hair. 453 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,576 Sorry we didn't get much work done today. 454 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,622 Eh, we've done less. 455 00:19:48,665 --> 00:19:51,277 Well, I-I'm serious. 456 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,670 I don't want me being at work to stress you out. 457 00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:55,368 I mean, in one day, you went 458 00:19:55,411 --> 00:19:57,500 from excited to worried to reluctant. 459 00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:59,633 Honey, that's just the three stages 460 00:19:59,676 --> 00:20:01,243 of working-with-your-wife grief. 461 00:20:01,287 --> 00:20:04,855 Okay, and now, I am at the fourth stage: 462 00:20:04,899 --> 00:20:07,510 joyful acceptance. 463 00:20:07,554 --> 00:20:11,514 So no more wife-proofing? No more hiding things? 464 00:20:11,558 --> 00:20:14,996 Uh-uh. Oh. I do have one small confession. 465 00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:19,348 What?I got a huge crush on the new guy. 466 00:20:19,392 --> 00:20:22,003 [laughs] Aw. 467 00:20:22,046 --> 00:20:23,831 No, seriously, I'm glad you were there. 468 00:20:23,874 --> 00:20:25,833 If it wasn't for you, I never would've known about Lowell, 469 00:20:25,876 --> 00:20:27,182 and I think we helped him. 470 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:30,185 You know, he's got a TV now. 471 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:34,494 And sometimes, that's better than a family. 472 00:20:34,537 --> 00:20:36,322 You are very wise. 473 00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:39,760 Hmm. Like a...? 474 00:20:45,069 --> 00:20:47,071 Huh? 475 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,292 Like a ninja. 476 00:20:50,336 --> 00:20:52,425 [laughing]: Yeah. 477 00:20:52,468 --> 00:20:55,428 I made you say that... like a ninja. 478 00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:03,523 Captioning sponsored by CBS 479 00:21:03,566 --> 00:21:06,656 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org