1 00:00:11,448 --> 00:00:13,275 I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THE INTERVIEW 2 00:00:13,275 --> 00:00:14,448 WHEN YOU FIRST SPOKE WITH ME, 3 00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,896 AND I STILL DON'T WANT TO DO THE INTERVIEW. 4 00:00:21,758 --> 00:00:22,965 I'M READY. 5 00:00:22,965 --> 00:00:24,448 I'M READY FOR IT. 6 00:00:26,655 --> 00:00:29,034 Newscaster: POLICE ARE SAYING THEY'RE NOT SURE WHAT SET HIM OFF. 7 00:00:29,034 --> 00:00:31,862 I GOT A PHONE CALL FROM RON, 8 00:00:31,862 --> 00:00:35,137 AND HE WAS CRYING. 9 00:00:37,310 --> 00:00:40,517 [ Voice breaking ] AND HE SAID, "DID YOU HEAR WHAT HAPPENED?" 10 00:00:40,517 --> 00:00:42,931 Newscaster: THE DAY HAD TURNED INTO PANIC, THEN TERROR. 11 00:00:42,931 --> 00:00:45,620 [ SIREN WAILS ] 12 00:00:45,620 --> 00:00:49,620 AND HE SAYS, IT'S TRUE, IT WAS ROBBIE. 13 00:00:49,620 --> 00:00:54,689 AND I JUST -- I SCREAMED. 14 00:00:54,689 --> 00:00:58,413 I JUST SCREAMED SO LOUD, 15 00:00:58,413 --> 00:01:00,620 AND THEN I JUST PASSED OUT. 16 00:01:03,103 --> 00:01:06,103 --Captions by VITAC-- www.vitac.com 17 00:01:06,103 --> 00:01:09,068 CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS 18 00:01:15,379 --> 00:01:18,241 [ DOOR HINGES CREAK, KNOCKING ] 19 00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:31,241 [ KNOCKING, DOOR HINGES CREAK ] 20 00:01:45,068 --> 00:01:49,965 HOW CAN ANYONE COMPREHEND HIM DOING WHAT HE DID? 21 00:01:49,965 --> 00:01:51,172 YOU CAN'T. 22 00:01:51,172 --> 00:01:52,517 YOU CAN'T JUSTIFY IT. 23 00:01:52,517 --> 00:01:56,379 THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON THAT KNOWS WHY HE DID IT. 24 00:01:58,862 --> 00:02:00,517 AND THAT'S ROBBIE. 25 00:02:02,620 --> 00:02:05,344 Newscaster: POLICE SAY THEY DON'T KNOW AND MAY NEVER KNOW. 26 00:02:05,344 --> 00:02:10,033 CERTAINLY, WHENEVER YOU HAVE AN INCIDENT OF THIS NATURE, 27 00:02:10,033 --> 00:02:12,862 IT MAY BE IMPOSSIBLE TO COME UP WITH AN EXPLANATION. 28 00:02:29,862 --> 00:02:33,827 Sims: ROBBIE WAS REALLY BRIGHT, VERY BRIGHT, VERY CREATIVE. 29 00:02:33,827 --> 00:02:37,137 EVERYTHING WAS MAGICAL TO HIM. 30 00:02:37,137 --> 00:02:41,206 HE LOVED FIGURING OUT NEW THINGS. 31 00:02:41,206 --> 00:02:43,068 YOU CAN COME HOME WITH A BALLOON, 32 00:02:43,068 --> 00:02:46,896 AND HE'D FIND SOMETHING HAPPY TO DO WITH IT, YOU KNOW? 33 00:02:46,896 --> 00:02:53,310 TIE A TIE CAR TO IT OR ONE OF HIS ARMY MEN AND PRETEND 34 00:02:53,310 --> 00:02:56,655 THEY WERE PARACHUTING DOWN OUT OF AN AIRPLANE OR SOMETHING. 35 00:02:58,931 --> 00:03:04,344 BUT ROBBIE WAS VERY DIFFERENT FROM A VERY EARLY AGE. 36 00:03:09,172 --> 00:03:13,137 -HAPPY BIRTHDAY! -HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 37 00:03:13,137 --> 00:03:14,241 ONE, TWO, THREE. 38 00:03:14,241 --> 00:03:15,103 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] 39 00:03:15,103 --> 00:03:16,172 Hawkins: THAT WAS A GOOD ONE. 40 00:03:16,172 --> 00:03:18,793 ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS. GO AHEAD. 41 00:03:18,793 --> 00:03:21,137 HE HAD A LOT OF OUTBURSTS. 42 00:03:21,137 --> 00:03:23,758 HERE'S MY GIFT. 43 00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:39,000 NO! I WANT THE BLUE ONE! 44 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,103 NO, NO, NO! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU! 45 00:03:42,103 --> 00:03:44,517 YOU'RE STUPID! YOU'RE REALLY, REALLY, REALLY -- 46 00:03:44,517 --> 00:03:51,827 IT'S REALLY HARD TO DESCRIBE A CHILD'S TEMPER TANTRUM. 47 00:03:51,827 --> 00:03:55,206 JUST SOMETIMES SOMETHING WOULD CLICK IN HIM. 48 00:03:55,206 --> 00:03:58,172 ROBBIE WOULD YELL PROFANITIES AT YOU. 49 00:03:58,172 --> 00:04:00,931 YOU KNOW, TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE WORTHLESS, 50 00:04:00,931 --> 00:04:05,758 AND JUST ANYTHING THAT HE COULD DO TO TRY TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS. 51 00:04:05,758 --> 00:04:08,965 Robbie: I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU! 52 00:04:08,965 --> 00:04:16,724 BUT ONE TIME, ROBBIE WENT BEYOND THE TYPICAL. 53 00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:23,137 HE THREW THINGS AROUND, HIT HIS HEAD ON HIS WALL. 54 00:04:23,137 --> 00:04:27,931 GET A HOLD OF YOU TO TRY TO BITE YOU OR TO HURT YOU IN SOME WAY. 55 00:04:27,931 --> 00:04:30,344 I THINK WE WERE, LIKE, BASICALLY ANY PARENT. 56 00:04:30,344 --> 00:04:33,448 YOU JUST TRY TO TALK HIM DOWN AND TALK HIM OUT OF IT, 57 00:04:33,448 --> 00:04:35,655 BUT NONE OF THAT WORKED FOR HIM. 58 00:04:35,655 --> 00:04:37,310 REASONING DIDN'T WORK. 59 00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:41,655 YOU WOULD JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE UNTIL HE CALMED DOWN. 60 00:04:49,758 --> 00:04:53,068 AND THEN HE WOULD JUST COME OUT AND SAY, "GOOD MORNING, MOM. 61 00:04:53,068 --> 00:04:56,241 GOOD MORNING, DAD," AND JUST BE REALLY SWEET. 62 00:04:56,241 --> 00:05:00,241 AND YOU KIND OF PUSH IT TO THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD 63 00:05:00,241 --> 00:05:08,103 AND MOVE ALONG LIKE IT DIDN'T HAPPEN BECAUSE YOU JUST HAVE TO. 64 00:05:08,103 --> 00:05:13,172 BUT IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT A LOT OF THE TIME. 65 00:05:13,172 --> 00:05:20,448 THE WHOLE HOUSE WAS ON EGGSHELLS ALMOST ALL THE TIME. 66 00:05:32,379 --> 00:05:36,965 RIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE GOT KICKED OUT OF KINDERCARE. 67 00:05:42,896 --> 00:05:47,137 THEY CALLED ME, AND I HAD TO COME AND GET HIM EARLY. 68 00:05:47,137 --> 00:05:48,758 AND THAT'S WHEN THEY EXPLAINED TO ME 69 00:05:48,758 --> 00:05:50,793 WHAT HAD HAPPENED THAT DAY. 70 00:05:50,793 --> 00:05:52,551 WHAT WAS HE DOING? 71 00:05:52,551 --> 00:05:55,862 Man: HE WAS HITTING PEOPLE AND THREW A CHAIR. 72 00:05:55,862 --> 00:05:58,137 WELL, WHY WAS HE ATTACKING THOSE KIDS? 73 00:05:58,137 --> 00:05:59,620 THEY DON'T KNOW. 74 00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:03,551 BUT HE WAS HITTING, KICKING, AND HE HIT SOMEONE WITH A CHAIR. 75 00:06:03,551 --> 00:06:07,758 THAT WAS THE END MOMENT WHEN THEY SAID THEY JUST 76 00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:09,827 COULDN'T HAVE HIM COME BACK ANYMORE 77 00:06:09,827 --> 00:06:11,758 IS WHEN THEY HIT SOMEONE WITH A CHAIR. 78 00:06:15,241 --> 00:06:17,172 Sims: THEY'D HAVE KIDS THAT ACT OUT, 79 00:06:17,172 --> 00:06:22,517 BUT ROBBIE WAS AN EXTREME, A VERY EXTREME CASE, 80 00:06:22,517 --> 00:06:25,862 AND IT WAS GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE 81 00:06:25,862 --> 00:06:31,551 IT WAS GETTING TOO PHYSICAL AND TOO VIOLENT AND DANGEROUS. 82 00:06:31,551 --> 00:06:36,482 AND ROBBIE HAD SUCH AN INCREDIBLY STRONG WILL, 83 00:06:36,482 --> 00:06:38,724 HE WOULD NOT GIVE UP. 84 00:06:38,724 --> 00:06:43,241 AND WHEN YOU HAVE A CHILD WHO -- 85 00:06:43,241 --> 00:06:47,724 WHO HAS A STRONGER WILL THAN YOU CAN STAND, 86 00:06:47,724 --> 00:06:49,413 WHAT DO YOU DO? 87 00:07:12,586 --> 00:07:14,965 I TRIED TO FIND SOMETHING, 88 00:07:14,965 --> 00:07:18,379 SOMEBODY TO HELP BECAUSE I OBVIOUSLY COULDN'T FIX. 89 00:07:18,379 --> 00:07:20,448 I DON'T KNOW ENOUGH. 90 00:07:24,896 --> 00:07:27,758 SO, THEY TOOK HIM TO A HOSPITAL. 91 00:07:35,068 --> 00:07:36,413 I DON'T KNOW, RON. 92 00:07:36,413 --> 00:07:38,689 I'M JUST TRYING TO DO WHAT'S BEST FOR HIM. 93 00:07:38,689 --> 00:07:43,758 THE FEELING OF HIM GOING IN THERE JUST MAKES YOU NUMB. 94 00:07:46,620 --> 00:07:50,620 AND IT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE A WORTHLESS PARENT. 95 00:07:50,620 --> 00:07:52,862 IT'S VERY TERRIFYING 96 00:07:52,862 --> 00:07:58,551 TO BASICALLY PASS YOUR CHILD OVER TO SOMEBODY ELSE 97 00:07:58,551 --> 00:08:00,241 AND TO SAY, 98 00:08:00,241 --> 00:08:02,517 "CAN YOU FIX HIM?" 99 00:08:02,517 --> 00:08:05,862 BECAUSE THAT'S KIND OF HOW IT WAS. 100 00:08:05,862 --> 00:08:11,172 HE WAS A BROKEN TOY THAT JUST NEEDED TO BE FIXED. 101 00:08:11,172 --> 00:08:14,896 AND HOW DO YOU TELL A 4-YEAR-OLD, 102 00:08:14,896 --> 00:08:17,068 WE'RE NOT LEAVING YOU, 103 00:08:17,068 --> 00:08:20,344 THAT THESE PEOPLE ARE FIXING YOU, THEY'RE HELPING YOU. 104 00:08:23,689 --> 00:08:28,241 I DON'T REMEMBER HOW LONG HE WAS IN THE FIRST TIME, 105 00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:30,793 BUT WHEN HE WAS ABLE TO COME HOME, 106 00:08:30,793 --> 00:08:36,379 HE CAME HOME A VERY WIPED CLEAN SLATE. 107 00:08:39,309 --> 00:08:41,206 HE WASN'T ANGRY ANYMORE, 108 00:08:41,206 --> 00:08:46,724 BUT YET, HE WASN'T THAT HAPPY ROBBIE ANYMORE, EITHER. 109 00:08:46,724 --> 00:08:49,241 HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY EMOTIONS. 110 00:09:02,517 --> 00:09:05,586 [ KNOCKING ] 111 00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:09,103 HEY, ROBBIE, DINNER'S READY. 112 00:09:09,103 --> 00:09:14,034 AS ROBBIE GOT OLDER, HE OBVIOUSLY GOT STRONGER. 113 00:09:14,034 --> 00:09:15,827 HE GOT BIGGER. 114 00:09:15,827 --> 00:09:26,344 AND HIS PHYSICAL PRESENCE GOT MUCH MORE SCARY. 115 00:09:26,344 --> 00:09:29,793 ROBBIE, YOU BETTER BE DOWNSTAIRS AT THAT TABLE IN FIVE MINUTES. 116 00:09:39,689 --> 00:09:45,103 I JUST KEPT THINKING, "ROBBIE'S NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING. 117 00:09:45,103 --> 00:09:47,034 ROBBIE WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING." 118 00:10:06,896 --> 00:10:08,655 Sims: ROBBIE GOT A LITTLE OLDER 119 00:10:08,655 --> 00:10:10,344 AND A LITTLE BIT MORE BOISTEROUS. 120 00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:14,000 I THINK THAT'S WHEN HE WAS THINKING 121 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:18,275 THAT IF I WASN'T IN THE PICTURE, THAT HIS MOM WOULD COME BACK, 122 00:10:18,275 --> 00:10:20,413 AND HIS MOM AND DAD WOULD GET RE-MARRIED. 123 00:10:20,413 --> 00:10:22,793 AND THEIR FAMILY WOULD BE WHOLE. 124 00:10:31,655 --> 00:10:36,310 IF YOU EVER TELL ME WHAT TO DO, 125 00:10:36,310 --> 00:10:38,310 I WILL MAKE YOU REGRET IT. 126 00:10:41,482 --> 00:10:45,517 THAT'S WHEN HIS HOSTILITY PERSONALLY TOWARDS ME 127 00:10:45,517 --> 00:10:48,551 REALLY TOOK OFF. 128 00:10:58,241 --> 00:11:00,724 [ LAWNMOWER RUNNING ] 129 00:11:07,344 --> 00:11:10,758 ONE DAY, I WAS OUT MOWING THE GRASS, 130 00:11:10,758 --> 00:11:17,000 AND I ASKED FOR SOMEBODY TO GET ME SOMETHING TO DRINK. 131 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:20,724 ROBBIE BROUGHT ME OUT A POP TO DRINK. 132 00:11:20,724 --> 00:11:24,206 I TOOK A SWIG OF IT. 133 00:11:24,206 --> 00:11:25,551 AND JUST THOUGHT, 134 00:11:25,551 --> 00:11:28,586 "OOH, THAT POP -- 135 00:11:28,586 --> 00:11:31,620 THE CASE OF POP MUST HAVE GONE BAD OR SOMETHING." 136 00:11:31,620 --> 00:11:34,655 I'M, LIKE, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT EVEN IS. 137 00:11:39,379 --> 00:11:40,758 SO I TOOK ANOTHER DRINK OF IT 'CAUSE 138 00:11:40,758 --> 00:11:43,206 IT WASN'T LIKE IT WAS A FLAT POP OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. 139 00:11:43,206 --> 00:11:44,551 AND I TOOK ANOTHER DRINK OF IT, 140 00:11:44,551 --> 00:11:46,965 AND I JUST -- I WAS, LIKE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS, 141 00:11:46,965 --> 00:11:49,517 BUT I'M DEFINITELY NOT GONNA FINISH THIS AFTER I TOOK, LIKE, 142 00:11:49,517 --> 00:11:52,724 TWO OR THREE SIPS TRYING TO JUST FIGURE OUT WHAT IT WAS. 143 00:11:55,413 --> 00:11:59,000 AND LATER THAT NIGHT, I GOT REALLY SICK. 144 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,724 IT WAS JUST A COUPLE OF HOURS LATER, 145 00:12:00,724 --> 00:12:03,862 AND I GOT REALLY PHYSICALLY SICK 146 00:12:03,862 --> 00:12:07,344 AND GO TO FIND OUT THAT HE HAD PUT -- 147 00:12:07,344 --> 00:12:12,034 HE HAD PUT A CHEMICAL IN MY -- 148 00:12:12,034 --> 00:12:13,827 IN MY POP. 149 00:12:20,206 --> 00:12:24,482 HE PUT PESTICIDE IN IT. 150 00:12:29,172 --> 00:12:30,482 ONCE HE FIGURED OUT 151 00:12:30,482 --> 00:12:32,620 THAT I WASN'T GONNA GO TO THE HOSPITAL OR ANYTHING, 152 00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:35,413 HE TOLD US HE THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY. 153 00:12:39,275 --> 00:12:42,793 AFTER I FOUND OUT THAT HE HAD POISONED ME, 154 00:12:42,793 --> 00:12:45,379 IT WAS REALLY HARD TO KEEP MY EMOTIONS IN CHECK 155 00:12:45,379 --> 00:12:47,965 BECAUSE ON ONE HAND, 156 00:12:47,965 --> 00:12:51,482 IT DID START MAKING ME BE AFRAID OF HIM. 157 00:12:51,482 --> 00:12:53,206 WHY DID YOU DO THAT, ROBBIE? 158 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,344 I'M SERIOUS. 159 00:12:57,344 --> 00:13:00,103 WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY? 160 00:13:00,103 --> 00:13:02,103 IT WAS A PRANK. 161 00:13:02,103 --> 00:13:04,965 HE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GOING TO MAKE YOU SICK. 162 00:13:04,965 --> 00:13:08,241 RIGHT, ROBBIE? 163 00:13:08,241 --> 00:13:09,793 YEAH. 164 00:13:09,793 --> 00:13:11,034 THAT'S ALL IT WAS. 165 00:13:11,034 --> 00:13:14,862 Sims: HE JUST WANTED ME OUT OF THE PICTURE. 166 00:13:15,965 --> 00:13:18,206 WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? 167 00:13:18,206 --> 00:13:19,724 I MEAN, YOU'RE FINE. 168 00:13:19,724 --> 00:13:21,103 IT'S NOT LIKE YOU DIED. 169 00:13:21,103 --> 00:13:25,310 I COULD HAVE. I COULD HAVE DIED. 170 00:13:25,310 --> 00:13:27,000 [ SCOFFS ] 171 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,034 BUT IN THE OTHER HAND, 172 00:13:29,034 --> 00:13:33,827 I JUST KEPT THINKING, "ROBBIE'S NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING. 173 00:13:33,827 --> 00:13:39,068 ROBBIE WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING BECAUSE WE KNOW WHO HE IS." 174 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:42,896 YOU KNOW? HE'S NOT THIS TERRIBLE MONSTER. 175 00:14:01,137 --> 00:14:09,793 THE NEXT BIG ALTERCATION THAT ROBBIE AND I GOT INTO 176 00:14:09,793 --> 00:14:16,103 WAS THE DAY THAT LED HIM TO PERMANENTLY LEAVE OUR HOUSE. 177 00:14:22,034 --> 00:14:26,241 HIS OLDER SISTER WORKED AT A RESTAURANT, 178 00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:29,793 AND HE KEPT STEALING HER CASH. 179 00:14:32,103 --> 00:14:33,379 ROBBIE? 180 00:14:33,379 --> 00:14:35,310 WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN YOUR SISTER'S ROOM? 181 00:14:35,310 --> 00:14:36,172 NOTHING. 182 00:14:36,172 --> 00:14:38,655 LET ME SEE YOUR BACKPACK. 183 00:14:38,655 --> 00:14:39,896 NO. 184 00:14:39,896 --> 00:14:41,896 I WANTED TO LOOK IN HIS BACKPACK 185 00:14:41,896 --> 00:14:44,793 TO SEE IF HE HAD HIS SISTER'S MONEY. 186 00:14:44,793 --> 00:14:45,931 LET ME SEE YOUR BACKPACK. 187 00:14:45,931 --> 00:14:47,034 NO! 188 00:14:47,034 --> 00:14:48,827 YOU CANNOT KEEP STEALING HER MONEY. 189 00:14:48,827 --> 00:14:52,896 AND SO ROBBIE AND I GOT INTO A BIG ARGUMENT. 190 00:14:52,896 --> 00:14:54,241 LET GO! 191 00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,241 I DIDN'T STEAL ANYTHING. 192 00:14:56,241 --> 00:14:58,586 YOU ARE ALWAYS TAKING EVERYONE ELSE'S SIDE. 193 00:14:58,586 --> 00:15:01,793 YOU NEVER TAKE MINE! 194 00:15:01,793 --> 00:15:04,655 I WAS TRYING TO GET HIS BOOK BAG FROM HIM, 195 00:15:04,655 --> 00:15:08,172 AND WE WERE WRESTLING OVER THE BOOK BAG. 196 00:15:17,137 --> 00:15:21,000 AND MY WEDDING RING CUT HIM ON THE CHEEK. 197 00:15:28,758 --> 00:15:29,758 I DIDN'T MEAN TO. 198 00:15:29,758 --> 00:15:32,517 I'M SORRY. 199 00:15:32,517 --> 00:15:39,172 IF YOU EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN, I WILL KILL YOU. 200 00:16:05,068 --> 00:16:07,310 [ BELL RINGING ] 201 00:16:08,758 --> 00:16:12,172 ROBBIE TELLS ME THAT YOU TWO GOT INTO A PHYSICAL FIGHT, 202 00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:16,206 AND THAT'S WHERE THE SCRATCH CAME FROM. 203 00:16:16,206 --> 00:16:21,206 WHEN HE WAS AT SCHOOL, HE WENT AND TOLD A COUPLE OF HIS FRIENDS 204 00:16:21,206 --> 00:16:27,448 AND ALSO TOLD THE COUNSELOR THAT I HAD HIT HIM, 205 00:16:27,448 --> 00:16:30,137 AND THAT, YOU KNOW, I GOT PHYSICAL WITH HIM, 206 00:16:30,137 --> 00:16:34,551 AND THAT'S HOW HE HAD GOT THE CUT ON HIS CHEEK. 207 00:16:34,551 --> 00:16:38,241 HE WAS TRYING TO TURN THE BACKPACK INCIDENT 208 00:16:38,241 --> 00:16:41,758 THAT I WAS OUT OF CONTROL, 209 00:16:41,758 --> 00:16:46,310 AND THAT I WAS GETTING PHYSICAL, 210 00:16:46,310 --> 00:16:49,241 AND THAT I HAD BASICALLY ABUSED HIM. 211 00:16:53,862 --> 00:16:56,448 THERE IS A MORE SERIOUS ISSUE THAT WE HAVE TO DISCUSS HERE. 212 00:16:59,241 --> 00:17:03,206 THEN HE TOLD A COUPLE OF KIDS AT SCHOOL 213 00:17:03,206 --> 00:17:05,619 THAT HE WAS SO UPSET WITH ME THAT THE ONLY WAY 214 00:17:05,619 --> 00:17:08,172 THAT I WAS GONNA BE LEAVING THE HOUSE THE NEXT DAY 215 00:17:08,172 --> 00:17:12,172 WAS IN A BODY BAG. 216 00:17:12,172 --> 00:17:16,655 AND TOLD THEM THAT HE WAS GOING TO 217 00:17:16,655 --> 00:17:19,550 STAB ME IN MY SLEEP THAT NIGHT. 218 00:17:28,758 --> 00:17:32,241 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 219 00:17:32,241 --> 00:17:33,655 YOU DON'T KNOW -- 220 00:17:33,655 --> 00:17:39,103 WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR KID IS LIKE THAT? 221 00:17:39,103 --> 00:17:42,034 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 222 00:17:44,206 --> 00:17:46,551 [ SIGHS ]RON, PLEASE, PLEASE. 223 00:17:46,551 --> 00:17:48,620 I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE. 224 00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:50,310 I'M SCARED.HE DIDN'T MEAN IT. 225 00:17:50,310 --> 00:17:52,068 HE'S JUST STRUGGLING. 226 00:17:52,068 --> 00:17:55,793 HONEY, I THINK HE MEANS IT WHEN HE SAYS THOSE THINGS. 227 00:17:55,793 --> 00:17:58,241 I'M ON EDGE ALL THE TIME. I JUST CAN'T. 228 00:17:58,241 --> 00:18:00,344 I THINK YOU NEED TO GIVE IT A LITTLE MORE TIME, OKAY? 229 00:18:00,344 --> 00:18:03,379 HE'S JUST A KID. 230 00:18:03,379 --> 00:18:05,000 Hawkins: WHEN A NORMAL KID SAYS SOMETHING, 231 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,793 "I HATE YOU," TO THEIR PARENTS, THEY DON'T MEAN IT. 232 00:18:07,793 --> 00:18:10,172 BUT WITH ROBBIE, WHEN HE SAID THESE THINGS, 233 00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:11,448 IT BRINGS UP A DOUBT, 234 00:18:11,448 --> 00:18:14,482 AND THAT DOUBT IS ENOUGH TO WORRY YOU. 235 00:18:14,482 --> 00:18:18,586 IT'S, LIKE, "MAN, DOES HE REALLY MEAN THIS?" 236 00:18:24,275 --> 00:18:29,965 I THINK ROBBIE DEFINITELY MEANT IT BECAUSE LATER ON, 237 00:18:29,965 --> 00:18:37,896 WE FOUND THAT HE HAD CARVED INTO HIS DRESSER, "KILL HER." 238 00:18:40,517 --> 00:18:42,689 AND WE FOUND POCKETKNIVES 239 00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:45,758 THAT HE HAD BEEN COLLECTING IN HIS DRAWERS, 240 00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:50,137 SO WE KNEW THAT HE MEANT IT. 241 00:18:50,137 --> 00:18:53,275 IT WASN'T AN IDLE THREAT. 242 00:18:53,275 --> 00:18:57,241 WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS THAT NIGHT OR ANOTHER NIGHT. 243 00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:04,068 WE CALLED A PSYCHIATRIST, 244 00:19:04,068 --> 00:19:08,862 AND HIS PSYCHIATRIST SAID THAT WE NEEDED TO CALL THE COPS 245 00:19:08,862 --> 00:19:12,310 AND HAVE HIM PHYSICALLY REMOVED, 246 00:19:12,310 --> 00:19:16,137 THAT HE COULDN'T' BE TRUSTED IN THE HOUSE AT THAT TIME. 247 00:19:16,137 --> 00:19:18,793 AND SO THEY DID. 248 00:19:18,793 --> 00:19:21,275 THEY... 249 00:19:24,103 --> 00:19:27,206 [ Voice breaking ]...CAME AND TOOK HIM. 250 00:19:36,068 --> 00:19:43,482 AND BESIDES A NIGHT VISIT OR A WEEKEND VISIT, 251 00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:46,137 THAT WAS HIS LAST IN THE HOUSE. 252 00:20:10,241 --> 00:20:12,344 Hawkins: HE NEEDED SOME PLACE 253 00:20:12,344 --> 00:20:15,551 WHERE HE HAD A VERY STRUCTURED ENVIRONMENT, 254 00:20:15,551 --> 00:20:17,862 BUT I FELT TERRIBLE. 255 00:20:17,862 --> 00:20:21,965 THERE WAS A PIECE OF MY FAMILY THAT WAS MISSING. 256 00:20:24,931 --> 00:20:26,172 AND THE DOCTOR TOLD US, 257 00:20:26,172 --> 00:20:28,448 "WELL, IT COULD BE THIS, IT COULD BE THIS, 258 00:20:28,448 --> 00:20:29,448 IT COULD BE THIS." 259 00:20:29,448 --> 00:20:32,000 SEPARATION ANXIETY DISORDER, 260 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:35,517 POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER, A.D.D., ADHD THINGS. 261 00:20:35,517 --> 00:20:37,172 EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD. 262 00:20:37,172 --> 00:20:41,793 NO ONE ON EARTH I KNEW HAD AN ANSWER. 263 00:20:41,793 --> 00:20:43,448 AND THEY WOULD TRY DIFFERENT MEDICATIONS. 264 00:20:43,448 --> 00:20:45,482 THEY WOULD TRY DIFFERENT TECHNIQUES AND THINGS. 265 00:20:45,482 --> 00:20:46,586 "WELL, THAT'S NOT WORKING. 266 00:20:46,586 --> 00:20:47,689 LET'S TRY THIS ONE. 267 00:20:47,689 --> 00:20:49,034 WELL, THAT DIDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING. 268 00:20:49,034 --> 00:20:50,793 LET'S TRY SOMETHING ELSE." 269 00:21:02,172 --> 00:21:05,344 Sims: THERE WAS MORE THAN ONE INCIDENT 270 00:21:05,344 --> 00:21:12,137 THAT SHOWED ME OR THE FAMILY DEAD. 271 00:21:12,137 --> 00:21:17,448 KNIVES STABBED IN US OR NOOSES AROUND OUR NECK. 272 00:21:23,448 --> 00:21:24,793 WE WERE OUT OF TIME. 273 00:21:37,620 --> 00:21:40,655 [ BIRDS CHIRPING ] 274 00:21:43,689 --> 00:21:47,793 Sims: WELL, WHEN ROBBIE WENT INTO PSYCHIATRIC CARE, 275 00:21:47,793 --> 00:21:53,344 I JUST KEPT TRYING TO REMIND MYSELF, "IT'S NOT ABOUT ME." 276 00:21:53,344 --> 00:21:55,103 AND I JUST WOULD KEEP TELLING MYSELF, 277 00:21:55,103 --> 00:21:58,482 "IT'S NOT ME, IT'S NOT ME, IT'S NOT ME." 278 00:22:07,724 --> 00:22:11,379 ROBBIE HAD A LOT OF GOALS IN THERAPY, 279 00:22:11,379 --> 00:22:15,862 AND ONE OF THEM WAS TO TRY TO MAKE THINGS BETTER WITH ME. 280 00:22:15,862 --> 00:22:21,482 AND TO BASICALLY APOLOGIZE FOR HIS ACTIONS. 281 00:22:21,482 --> 00:22:24,689 YOU CAN'T DO AND SAY THESE THINGS 282 00:22:24,689 --> 00:22:28,793 WITHOUT APOLOGIZING TO SOMEBODY. 283 00:22:28,793 --> 00:22:33,000 YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE AND TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS. 284 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,000 HE WOULD SAY IT, 285 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,931 BUT HE DIDN'T COME ACROSS AS BEING SINCERE ABOUT IT. 286 00:22:38,931 --> 00:22:40,827 I'M SORRY, OKAY? 287 00:22:40,827 --> 00:22:41,827 [ SIGHS ] 288 00:22:41,827 --> 00:22:43,655 NO. 289 00:22:43,655 --> 00:22:44,827 I DON'T ACCEPT THAT. 290 00:22:44,827 --> 00:22:46,241 [ LAUGHS ] 291 00:22:46,241 --> 00:22:50,758 IT WAS JUST A MESS. HE'S NOT EVEN FAKING IT TO MAKE IT. 292 00:22:50,758 --> 00:22:52,758 HE'S NOT EVEN TRYING TO PRETEND, 293 00:22:52,758 --> 00:22:54,448 "OH, I LOVE CANDACE NOW, 294 00:22:54,448 --> 00:22:57,310 AND I WANT TO COME HOME, 295 00:22:57,310 --> 00:22:58,862 AND I WAS WRONG." 296 00:22:58,862 --> 00:23:02,103 WE THOUGHT THAT HE WOULD DO THAT EVENTUALLY. 297 00:23:02,103 --> 00:23:05,931 SIX MONTHS GOES BY, A YEAR GOES BY, TWO YEARS GOES BY. 298 00:23:05,931 --> 00:23:07,517 THREE YEARS GOES BY. 299 00:23:07,517 --> 00:23:10,275 FOUR YEARS GO BY. 300 00:23:10,275 --> 00:23:15,448 AND WE STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THAT HE'S STILL DOWN THIS TRACK. 301 00:23:19,379 --> 00:23:23,793 Hawkins: AND THE LONGER IT GOES WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING THAT INTERACTION 302 00:23:23,793 --> 00:23:26,827 OF APOLOGIZING, IT JUST GETS WORSE, 303 00:23:26,827 --> 00:23:28,517 AND THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENED. 304 00:23:28,517 --> 00:23:34,655 THEN IT WAS BACK TO THE VERBAL ABUSE. 305 00:23:34,655 --> 00:23:39,689 AND YOU WERE RIGHT BACK TO SQUARE ONE AGAIN. 306 00:23:39,689 --> 00:23:45,241 SOMEHOW, IT WAS VERY EASY FOR HIM TO CONSTANTLY JUST KEEP 307 00:23:45,241 --> 00:23:49,310 GOING A LEVEL DEEPER AND DEEPER AND DEEPER. 308 00:23:49,310 --> 00:23:51,310 AND THE DEEPER THAT HE GOT, 309 00:23:51,310 --> 00:23:55,931 THERE WAS NOTHING THAT ANYONE SAID OR DID 310 00:23:55,931 --> 00:23:59,551 THAT CAN BRING HIM BACK UP TO THE SURFACE. 311 00:24:15,758 --> 00:24:18,034 WHEN YOU'RE IN GROUP HOME, 312 00:24:18,034 --> 00:24:21,310 YOU DON'T HAVE A LOT OF PERSONAL ITEMS. 313 00:24:21,310 --> 00:24:25,379 SO THE ONLY THING THAT WAS REALLY AVAILABLE TO HIM 314 00:24:25,379 --> 00:24:27,965 ON A REGULAR BASIS WAS, OBVIOUSLY, PEN AND PAPER, 315 00:24:27,965 --> 00:24:32,241 AND SO HE DID A LOT OF DRAWINGS. 316 00:24:32,241 --> 00:24:34,103 HE DID THEM ALL THE TIME. HE LOVED TO DRAW. 317 00:24:34,103 --> 00:24:36,931 HE WAS ACTUALLY A VERY GOOD DRAWER. 318 00:24:58,655 --> 00:24:59,931 HI, ROBBIE. 319 00:25:04,620 --> 00:25:08,758 HE HAD TO DRAW PICTURES OF HIS EMOTIONS. 320 00:25:10,931 --> 00:25:13,034 WHAT ARE YOU DRAWING? 321 00:25:13,034 --> 00:25:15,586 NOTHING. 322 00:25:15,586 --> 00:25:17,379 CAN I SEE? 323 00:25:29,793 --> 00:25:32,827 AND THEY WERE PICTURES OF, 324 00:25:32,827 --> 00:25:36,379 YOU KNOW, THE FAMILY LAYING AROUND WITH KNIVES 325 00:25:36,379 --> 00:25:40,620 STABBED IN US OR NOOSES AROUND OUR NECK. 326 00:25:40,620 --> 00:25:42,206 SOME OF THEM WERE JUST ME. 327 00:25:42,206 --> 00:25:43,758 SOME OF THEM WERE THE FAMILY. 328 00:25:43,758 --> 00:25:46,137 SOME OF THEM WERE HIS DAD AND I. 329 00:25:49,379 --> 00:25:55,482 I JUST THINK THAT HE HAD SO MUCH DARKNESS BUILT UP INSIDE OF HIM 330 00:25:55,482 --> 00:26:02,620 THAT HE WAS JUST PROJECTING AND DRAWING WHAT HE FELT. 331 00:26:02,620 --> 00:26:04,344 WHAT IS THIS, ROBBIE? 332 00:26:06,379 --> 00:26:08,068 WHY WOULD YOU DRAW THIS? 333 00:26:32,689 --> 00:26:36,034 HE WAS SOMEBODY THAT WAS JUST UNRECOGNIZABLE TO US. 334 00:26:38,103 --> 00:26:44,448 HE ALWAYS BLAMED ME FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO COME BACK HOME. 335 00:26:44,448 --> 00:26:46,344 "YOU DON'T EVEN WANT ME AT HOME. 336 00:26:46,344 --> 00:26:49,241 YOU DON'T EVEN CARE THAT I'M IN HERE. 337 00:26:49,241 --> 00:26:51,448 YOU'RE HAPPIER WITHOUT ME, ANYWAYS." 338 00:27:05,586 --> 00:27:07,000 I'M NOT GIVING UP ON HIM. 339 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:11,103 I'M NOT, EITHER, BUT, CLEARLY, IT'S NOT WORKING. 340 00:27:11,103 --> 00:27:12,344 MAYBE IF WE BRING HIM HOME AGAIN. 341 00:27:12,344 --> 00:27:14,172 NO! 342 00:27:14,172 --> 00:27:17,586 I CAN'T STAY HERE ANYMORE. 343 00:27:17,586 --> 00:27:22,068 MAYBE IT'LL BE BETTER IF I'M NOT HERE. 344 00:27:22,068 --> 00:27:25,896 I'M NEVER GONNA BLAME ROBBIE FOR ENDING OUR MARRIAGE, 345 00:27:25,896 --> 00:27:29,931 BUT IN THE END, RON AND I DID GET A DIVORCE 346 00:27:29,931 --> 00:27:32,068 SO ROBBIE COULD COME HOME, 347 00:27:32,068 --> 00:27:36,137 AND THAT WAS KIND OF OUR LAST STRAW OF, 348 00:27:36,137 --> 00:27:45,241 MAYBE ROBBIE CAN COME BACK HOME IF I WAS OUT OF THE PICTURE. 349 00:27:45,241 --> 00:27:47,827 I LOVE YOU, RON, 350 00:27:47,827 --> 00:27:50,172 BUT I JUST CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE. 351 00:27:50,172 --> 00:27:51,827 [ SOBS ] 352 00:27:51,827 --> 00:27:54,310 HE NEEDED TO COME HOME 353 00:27:54,310 --> 00:28:00,482 SO HIS DAD CAN TEACH HIM HOW TO BE A MAN. 354 00:28:00,482 --> 00:28:05,137 AND HOW TO LIVE LIFE 355 00:28:05,137 --> 00:28:08,034 'CAUSE HE'D BEEN IN THERE FOR FIVE YEARS. 356 00:28:08,034 --> 00:28:11,517 HE WAS 17 YEARS OLD. 357 00:28:11,517 --> 00:28:16,862 HE JUST NEEDED TO COME HOME. 358 00:28:16,862 --> 00:28:23,689 I NEVER SPOKE TO ROBBIE AGAIN AFTER RON AND I GOT A DIVORCE. 359 00:28:23,689 --> 00:28:26,275 I NEVER GOT ANY E-MAILS, 360 00:28:26,275 --> 00:28:28,827 PHONE CALLS, LETTERS IN THE MAIL. 361 00:28:28,827 --> 00:28:33,931 I'M NOT SURE IF HE UTTERED MY NAME AGAIN OR ANYTHING. 362 00:28:41,413 --> 00:28:47,000 I NEVER THOUGHT THAT ROBBIE WOULD EVER TURN ON ANYBODY. 363 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:50,758 I NEVER THOUGHT THAT HE WAS EVER GOING TO SEEK ME OUT 364 00:28:50,758 --> 00:28:53,758 OR SEEK ANYBODY ELSE OUT. 365 00:28:58,586 --> 00:29:01,379 Officer: WHENEVER YOU HAVE AN INCIDENT OF THIS NATURE, 366 00:29:01,379 --> 00:29:03,586 IT MAY BE IMPOSSIBLE TO COME UP WITH AN EXPLANATION. 367 00:29:05,758 --> 00:29:09,172 [ Voice breaking ] IT BROKE EVERYBODY'S HEART. 368 00:29:09,172 --> 00:29:10,206 [ SNIFFLES ] 369 00:29:10,206 --> 00:29:13,068 AND IT JUST CHANGED EVERYBODY'S LIFE. 370 00:29:36,689 --> 00:29:40,034 IF ROBBIE WAS PAINTING THIS PICTURE THAT I WAS 371 00:29:40,034 --> 00:29:44,482 THE BIG PROBLEM IN ALL OF THIS, 372 00:29:44,482 --> 00:29:47,586 THEN I WAS GOING TO REMOVE MYSELF 373 00:29:47,586 --> 00:29:52,000 BECAUSE I KIND OF FELT LIKE SOMETIMES I PUT A WEDGE 374 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:57,896 BETWEEN RON AND HIS SON AND NOT HAVING HIS SON AT HOME. 375 00:29:59,965 --> 00:30:04,310 ROBBIE WOULD NOT COME HOME UNTIL AFTER I WAS DIVORCED 376 00:30:04,310 --> 00:30:07,310 AND HAD MY OWN HOUSE, MY OWN HOME. 377 00:30:07,310 --> 00:30:09,586 THAT'S WHEN ROBBIE CAME HOME. 378 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:21,344 I DIDN'T HAVE ANY ROSY EXPECTATIONS THAT, TA-DA, 379 00:30:21,344 --> 00:30:22,482 HE'S GONNA COME BACK, 380 00:30:22,482 --> 00:30:25,655 AND HE AND I ARE GONNA, YOU KNOW, 381 00:30:25,655 --> 00:30:27,620 HAVE THIS ROSY LIFE AND STUFF. 382 00:30:27,620 --> 00:30:30,931 I KNEW IT WASN'T GONNA BE EASY. 383 00:30:30,931 --> 00:30:36,068 I JUST HOPED WE COULD MOVE FORWARD. 384 00:30:36,068 --> 00:30:38,448 YOU JUST NEED ORDER. 385 00:30:38,448 --> 00:30:39,620 YOU NEED A ROUTINE. 386 00:30:39,620 --> 00:30:42,068 HE HAD REAL STRICT RULES 387 00:30:42,068 --> 00:30:45,103 OF WHAT HE HAD TO DO AND HOW HE HAD TO BEHAVE. 388 00:30:45,103 --> 00:30:48,862 I HAD EXPECTATIONS FOR HIM TO PUT FORTH THE EFFORT 389 00:30:48,862 --> 00:30:54,137 AND DO WHAT NEEDED TO BE AT SCHOOL AND NO ALCOHOL, NO DRUGS. 390 00:30:54,137 --> 00:30:55,482 HE HAD CURFEW. 391 00:30:55,482 --> 00:30:56,724 YOU KNOW, ALL THE NORMAL THINGS. 392 00:30:56,724 --> 00:31:00,000 JUST REGULAR, NORMAL THINGS. 393 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:03,413 HE WAS DOING PRETTY WELL. 394 00:31:03,413 --> 00:31:05,965 I MEAN, WHEN ROBBIE APPLIED HIMSELF, HE COULD DO ANYTHING. 395 00:31:05,965 --> 00:31:09,172 HE WASN'T A DUMB KID BY ANY STRETCH. 396 00:31:14,137 --> 00:31:18,965 I BELIEVED THAT ROBBIE WAS GOING TO BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO, 397 00:31:18,965 --> 00:31:22,482 AFTER HE CAME THROUGH ALL OF HIS CRAP, 398 00:31:22,482 --> 00:31:24,344 AND HE WAS GONNA BE TALKING TO KIDS 399 00:31:24,344 --> 00:31:25,862 WHO WERE GOING THROUGH THINGS, 400 00:31:25,862 --> 00:31:28,758 AND HE COULD BE ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO -- 401 00:31:28,758 --> 00:31:30,862 HE COULD ACTUALLY SIT DOWN WITH A KID AND GO, 402 00:31:30,862 --> 00:31:32,896 "I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH." 403 00:31:34,103 --> 00:31:36,482 AND HE WAS GONNA BE ABLE TO USE ALL THE HURT 404 00:31:36,482 --> 00:31:40,275 HE'D HAD IN HIS LIFE TO HELP SOMEBODY ELSE. 405 00:31:48,310 --> 00:31:52,241 SOME MONTHS LATER, HE HAD A JOB, HAD MET A GIRL. 406 00:31:52,241 --> 00:31:54,827 IT WAS WHAT I WAS HOPING TO SEE, 407 00:31:54,827 --> 00:31:56,724 A SIGN OF A REALIZATION 408 00:31:56,724 --> 00:32:00,103 THAT HE'D SEEN THE BAD STUFF HASN'T BEEN WORKING, 409 00:32:00,103 --> 00:32:03,275 AND HE'S TRYING TO AT LEAST MOVE TOWARDS BETTER THINGS. 410 00:32:03,275 --> 00:32:06,689 A JOB AND A GIRL, USUALLY THAT MEANS A LOT TO SOMEBODY. 411 00:32:06,689 --> 00:32:10,586 YOU'RE DOING THINGS TO BUILD A FUTURE. 412 00:32:12,724 --> 00:32:16,758 IT'S NOT LIKE I THOUGHT HE WAS, YOU KNOW, OUT OF THE WOODS, 413 00:32:16,758 --> 00:32:21,448 BUT IT WAS ONE OF THOSE POSITIVE SIGNS. 414 00:32:21,448 --> 00:32:23,068 IT WAS AN INDICATION 415 00:32:23,068 --> 00:32:27,000 THAT MAYBE THINGS WERE GOING TO START GOING BETTER. 416 00:33:10,448 --> 00:33:12,620 I HEARD 12 GUNSHOTS. 417 00:33:12,620 --> 00:33:14,068 POP, POP, POP, POP, POP. 418 00:33:14,068 --> 00:33:15,482 AND PEOPLE RUNNING AND SCREAMING. 419 00:33:15,482 --> 00:33:16,827 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. 420 00:33:16,827 --> 00:33:19,413 [ SIRENS WAILING ] 421 00:33:21,448 --> 00:33:22,517 WE WERE HIDING IN A CLOTHES RACK, 422 00:33:22,517 --> 00:33:23,931 AND THAT'S WHEN I CALLED 911. 423 00:33:40,379 --> 00:33:43,379 HIS OLDEST SISTER, MY OLDEST ONE, 424 00:33:43,379 --> 00:33:46,827 SHE CALLED ME AND SAID, DID I HEAR WHAT WAS GOING ON? 425 00:33:46,827 --> 00:33:48,896 AND I SAID NO. 426 00:33:48,896 --> 00:33:51,482 SHE GOES, "MOM, YOU DON'T THINK THAT WAS ROBBIE, DO YOU?" 427 00:33:51,482 --> 00:33:54,275 AND I SAID, "WHY WOULD I THINK THAT THAT'S ROBBIE?" 428 00:34:07,758 --> 00:34:09,034 [ SNIFFS ] 429 00:34:09,034 --> 00:34:12,103 I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT TIME OF DAY IT WAS. 430 00:34:12,103 --> 00:34:13,447 I DON'T. 431 00:34:13,447 --> 00:34:17,275 MY DAUGHTER CALLED ME AND SAID THAT 432 00:34:17,275 --> 00:34:25,931 "I'D JUST HEARD ABOUT A SHOOTING AT WESTROADS MALL. 433 00:34:25,931 --> 00:34:28,000 AND I'M SCARED." 434 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:32,965 AND SHE KNEW JUST A LITTLE BIT OF DETAILS FROM THE NEWS. 435 00:34:32,965 --> 00:34:35,379 Newscaster: A DAY OF HOLIDAY SHOPPING TURNED INTO PANIC, 436 00:34:35,379 --> 00:34:38,688 THEN TERROR AFTER A TEENAGER WITH AN ASSAULT RIFLE 437 00:34:38,688 --> 00:34:41,275 OPENED FIRE. 438 00:34:41,275 --> 00:34:42,655 Hawkins: SO, I'M RIGHT THERE BY IT, 439 00:34:42,655 --> 00:34:45,965 AND I PULLED UP TO ONE COP. 440 00:34:45,965 --> 00:34:47,447 AND I'M -- 441 00:34:47,447 --> 00:34:51,724 I ASKED THIS ONE COP, I SAID, "PLEASE, JUST TELL ME. 442 00:34:51,724 --> 00:34:55,757 I'M A PARANOID FATHER, 443 00:34:55,757 --> 00:34:59,655 BUT I'M JUST AFRAID THIS, YOU KNOW --" 444 00:34:59,655 --> 00:35:03,310 I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HOW -- I JUST WANTED THE GUY TO TELL ME, 445 00:35:03,310 --> 00:35:07,241 "JUST GO HOME, YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS." 446 00:35:07,241 --> 00:35:12,793 AND HE ASKED ME FOR MY I.D. AND WENT AWAY. 447 00:35:12,793 --> 00:35:15,586 AND HE DIDN'T COME BACK. 448 00:35:15,586 --> 00:35:16,448 [ SNIFFLES ] 449 00:35:16,448 --> 00:35:18,068 AND THEN MY PHONE RANG. 450 00:35:27,793 --> 00:35:29,413 AND IT WAS MY OLDEST DAUGHTER, 451 00:35:29,413 --> 00:35:33,827 AND ALL SHE DID WAS SCREAM INTO THE PHONE AT ME. 452 00:35:36,482 --> 00:35:38,758 [ SNIFFLES ] 453 00:35:40,551 --> 00:35:43,517 AND THEY STILL DIDN'T COME OUT AND TELL ME ANYTHING. 454 00:35:43,517 --> 00:35:46,758 [ SNIFFLES ] 455 00:35:46,758 --> 00:35:48,068 AND THAT'S HOW I FOUND OUT, 456 00:35:48,068 --> 00:35:51,068 WHILE I WAS SITTING RIGHT AT THE PLACE. 457 00:35:53,172 --> 00:35:55,172 [ SIREN WAILS ] 458 00:35:56,551 --> 00:35:59,551 THEN I GOT A PHONE CALL FROM RON, 459 00:35:59,551 --> 00:36:01,965 AND HE WAS CRYING. 460 00:36:05,241 --> 00:36:07,482 AND HE SAID, "DID YOU HEAR WHAT HAPPENED?" 461 00:36:07,482 --> 00:36:11,620 AND HE SAID, "IT'S TRUE. IT WAS ROBBIE." 462 00:36:11,620 --> 00:36:15,000 AND I JUST -- I SCREAMED. 463 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:21,310 I JUST SCREAMED SO LOUD, AND THEN I JUST PASSED OUT. 464 00:36:21,310 --> 00:36:22,689 [ SNIFFLES ] 465 00:36:22,689 --> 00:36:23,931 [ SIGHS ] 466 00:36:24,724 --> 00:36:28,137 Newscaster: POLICE SAY 19-YEAR-OLD ROBERT HAWKINS WAS THE SHOOTER. 467 00:36:42,586 --> 00:36:46,862 NO WORDS AND NO SORRY ARE EVER GOING TO MAKE THINGS 468 00:36:46,862 --> 00:36:48,793 BETTER FOR THEM, EVER. 469 00:37:02,448 --> 00:37:04,965 GOOD AFTERNOON. 470 00:37:04,965 --> 00:37:08,000 BEFORE TURNING TO THE SITUATION ON THE HOUSING MARKET, 471 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,689 I SEND MY SYMPATHY TO THE FAMILIES 472 00:37:10,689 --> 00:37:14,586 OF THOSE MURDERED IN OMAHA, NEBRASKA, YESTERDAY. 473 00:37:14,586 --> 00:37:17,517 EVEN AFTER IT WAS CONFIRMED THAT IT WAS HIM, 474 00:37:17,517 --> 00:37:19,310 I JUST -- 475 00:37:21,862 --> 00:37:24,310 ALL I COULD DO WAS JUST SHAKE MY HEAD AND SIT THERE AND SAY -- 476 00:37:24,310 --> 00:37:26,586 I JUST -- 477 00:37:26,586 --> 00:37:29,896 I JUST STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THAT HE DID THIS. 478 00:37:29,896 --> 00:37:34,000 AND I KNOW WHAT A DIFFICULT DAY IT IS FOR THAT FINE COMMUNITY. 479 00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:37,827 THE VICTIMS IN THEIR LOVED ONES ARE IN THE PRAYERS OF AMERICANS. 480 00:37:37,827 --> 00:37:40,103 I DON'T -- I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. 481 00:37:40,103 --> 00:37:42,241 I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. 482 00:37:53,517 --> 00:37:55,034 Newscaster: THE THIRD AND FINAL IMAGE 483 00:37:55,034 --> 00:38:00,068 SHOWS THE 19-YEAR-OLD AIMING AN AK-47 TO FIRE. 484 00:38:00,068 --> 00:38:02,448 POLICE SAY HAWKINS THEN OPENED FIRE, 485 00:38:02,448 --> 00:38:05,103 KILLING EIGHT PEOPLE IN THE DEPARTMENT STORE. 486 00:38:23,103 --> 00:38:26,310 Newscaster: IN THE AFTERMATH, NINE PEOPLE, INCLUDING THE GUNMAN, WERE DEAD. 487 00:38:26,310 --> 00:38:28,206 FIVE PEOPLE WERE WOUNDED. 488 00:38:28,206 --> 00:38:29,482 Newscaster #2: POLICE SAY THEY DON'T KNOW 489 00:38:29,482 --> 00:38:33,344 AND MAY NEVER KNOW EXACTLY WHY HE OPENED FIRE. 490 00:38:33,344 --> 00:38:38,137 HOW CAN ANYONE COMPREHEND HIM DOING WHAT HE DID? 491 00:38:38,137 --> 00:38:39,379 YOU CAN'T. 492 00:38:39,379 --> 00:38:40,689 YOU CAN'T JUSTIFY IT. 493 00:38:40,689 --> 00:38:44,724 THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON THAT KNOWS WHY HE DID IT, 494 00:38:44,724 --> 00:38:45,965 AND THAT'S ROBBIE. 495 00:38:52,827 --> 00:38:56,344 I HAVE NO IDEA. I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHY. 496 00:38:56,344 --> 00:39:00,724 IT'S TOO EXTREME TO HAVE EVEN OCCURRED TO ME 497 00:39:00,724 --> 00:39:04,517 OR ENTERED MY MIND THAT WHAT HE DID COULD HAVE HAPPENED. 498 00:39:04,517 --> 00:39:07,482 JUST -- I COULDN'T. 499 00:39:07,482 --> 00:39:11,068 IT'S SO FAR-FETCHED FICTIONAL THAT MY BRAIN WOULD NEVER 500 00:39:11,068 --> 00:39:14,068 BE ABLE TO EVEN COME UP WITH THAT KIND OF SCENARIO. 501 00:39:28,103 --> 00:39:29,379 THERE'S A LOT OF TIMES I DO. 502 00:39:29,379 --> 00:39:31,103 I BLAME MYSELF FOR -- 503 00:39:31,103 --> 00:39:32,068 [ SNIFFLES ] 504 00:39:32,068 --> 00:39:34,275 UM... 505 00:39:34,275 --> 00:39:37,586 GETTING INTO THAT FIGHT WITH HIM AND TAKING HIS BOOK BAG 506 00:39:37,586 --> 00:39:42,206 'CAUSE IF I HADN'T HAVE TAKEN IT TO THAT LEVEL, 507 00:39:42,206 --> 00:39:45,241 THEN HE WOULDN'T HAVE LEFT OUR HOUSE. 508 00:39:51,344 --> 00:39:52,965 WHAT ABOUT IF I HAD JUST STOPPED IT 509 00:39:52,965 --> 00:39:57,758 AND JUST GIVEN HIS OLDER SISTER THE $10 510 00:39:57,758 --> 00:40:02,000 THAT SHE WAS MISSING OUT OF MY OWN POCKET? 511 00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,931 YOU DON'T KNOW IF YOU DID THE RIGHT THING OR NOT. 512 00:40:04,931 --> 00:40:07,310 LOOKING BACK, WE HAVE NO IDEA 513 00:40:07,310 --> 00:40:11,551 BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW IF WE HADN'T HAVE TAKEN HIM THERE, 514 00:40:11,551 --> 00:40:14,000 WHAT THE OTHER PATH WOULD HAVE LED TO. 515 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,586 WE DON'T HAVE THAT MAGIC 8 BALL 516 00:40:16,586 --> 00:40:20,620 THAT WE CAN GO BACK AND DO A REDO ON EVERYTHING. 517 00:40:24,655 --> 00:40:28,620 Hawkins: AFTER IT HAPPENED, I WOULD JUST GO ONLINE, 518 00:40:28,620 --> 00:40:31,758 AND ALL OF THE HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF COMMENTS 519 00:40:31,758 --> 00:40:34,758 THAT PEOPLE WERE MAKING, I WOULD GO READ THEM. 520 00:40:34,758 --> 00:40:37,206 "WHY DIDN'T SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING? 521 00:40:37,206 --> 00:40:40,206 WHY DIDN'T SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING?" 522 00:40:40,206 --> 00:40:42,482 EVERYBODY INVOLVED 523 00:40:42,482 --> 00:40:46,620 DID EVERYTHING THAT THEY COULD THINK OF. 524 00:40:46,620 --> 00:40:49,586 I DID EVERYTHING I COULD IMAGINE, 525 00:40:49,586 --> 00:40:53,551 AND IT -- IT WASN'T ENOUGH. 526 00:41:09,413 --> 00:41:10,586 Sims: AFTER THE SHOOTING, 527 00:41:10,586 --> 00:41:14,551 I DID HIDE MYSELF AWAY FOR QUITE SOME TIME, 528 00:41:14,551 --> 00:41:20,344 AND IT IS REALLY HARD GOING OUT TO EAT STILL TO THIS DAY. 529 00:41:20,344 --> 00:41:23,689 AND YOU HEAR A CONVERSATION NEXT TO YOU GOING ON, 530 00:41:23,689 --> 00:41:25,448 TALKING ABOUT IT. 531 00:41:25,448 --> 00:41:27,862 OR GOING TO CHURCH, 532 00:41:27,862 --> 00:41:34,275 AND THEY HAVE AN ANNIVERSARY MEMORIAL OF IT. 533 00:41:34,275 --> 00:41:41,931 AND SITTING THERE, WATCHING TV, AND SEE IT ON TV. 534 00:41:41,931 --> 00:41:45,000 THEN YOU HAVE HIS BIRTHDAY THAT COMES UP, 535 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:46,551 AND THEN YOU HAVE 536 00:41:46,551 --> 00:41:49,827 THE SHOOTING ANNIVERSARY THAT COMES UP. 537 00:41:49,827 --> 00:41:54,551 AND IT NEVER -- 538 00:41:54,551 --> 00:41:56,413 IT NEVER GOES AWAY. 539 00:41:59,206 --> 00:42:00,724 IT'S REALLY HARD TO BE 540 00:42:00,724 --> 00:42:03,448 ON THE OTHER END OF SOMETHING LIKE THIS 541 00:42:03,448 --> 00:42:07,206 AND NOT BEING ABLE TO UNDERSTAND IT. 542 00:42:07,206 --> 00:42:10,758 I THINK I TRIED TO LEARN TO TRY NOT TO SIT THERE 543 00:42:10,758 --> 00:42:14,551 AND ASK YOURSELF WHAT I COULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY. 544 00:42:14,551 --> 00:42:16,551 THERE WAS NOTHING THAT I COULD HAVE DONE 545 00:42:16,551 --> 00:42:20,620 TO PREVENT THE SHOOTINGS. 546 00:42:26,620 --> 00:42:29,862 I'M NOT SURE IF I CAN FINALIZE MY FINAL THOUGHTS. 547 00:42:29,862 --> 00:42:31,551 I HAVE A THOUSAND OF THEM. 548 00:42:40,862 --> 00:42:43,931 THE FOREMOST... 549 00:42:45,896 --> 00:42:48,655 ...I LOVE MY FAMILY. 550 00:42:48,655 --> 00:42:51,172 I LOVE MY KIDS. 551 00:42:51,172 --> 00:42:53,655 I LOVE ROBBIE. 552 00:42:53,655 --> 00:42:56,413 WE MISS HIM DEARLY. 553 00:42:58,862 --> 00:43:01,379 [ SNIFFLES ] 554 00:43:01,379 --> 00:43:06,172 AND THE WORD "SORRY" DON'T EVEN TOUCH HOW I FEEL TO THE VICTIMS 555 00:43:06,172 --> 00:43:13,379 AND THEIR FAMILIES AND EVERYBODY THAT HAS BEEN AFFECTED BY THIS. 556 00:43:13,379 --> 00:43:14,689 [ SNIFFLES ] 557 00:43:14,689 --> 00:43:17,448 I CAN'T SUM IT UP.