1 00:00:04,537 --> 00:00:06,406 Yeah, this is the monster I know. 2 00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:07,640 This is who I grew up with, 3 00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:14,247 this is what he looked like, just a little bit shorter hair 4 00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:19,919 and -- and no life in his eyes. 5 00:00:21,988 --> 00:00:25,158 You can -- you can tell there's nothing behind his eyes. 6 00:00:25,258 --> 00:00:26,259 There's no... 7 00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:28,628 soul. 8 00:00:28,728 --> 00:00:31,564 Not a care, only for himself. 9 00:00:31,664 --> 00:00:36,036 I dealt with mental, physical, psychological, 10 00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:41,307 every abuse that an adult can put on a child, I dealt with, 11 00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:43,376 from him, him alone. 12 00:00:44,644 --> 00:00:50,150 And it's almost like I can see the proudness, kind of. 13 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:53,386 He's proud of what he did, almost. 14 00:00:53,486 --> 00:00:58,458 I can almost see that look in his eyes he used to get 15 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:00,427 when he would come into my room. 16 00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:06,599 It's just disgusting. 17 00:01:06,699 --> 00:01:08,468 Just... 18 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,770 trash, garbage of the earth. 19 00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:14,374 [unsettling music plays] 20 00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:24,050 [female producer] What was your reaction 21 00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:25,752 when I reached out to you? 22 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:31,257 My reaction when you reached out was... 23 00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:34,394 why didn't this happen sooner? 24 00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:38,932 You know, maybe three people would have been saved. 25 00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:44,938 I believe that everybody that came in contact with him 26 00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:46,940 knew that he was about control. 27 00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:50,710 He's just an evil person. 28 00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:53,413 He's the devil. 29 00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:00,653 [The Paper Chase's "What's So Amazing About Grace?" plays] 30 00:02:00,753 --> 00:02:04,290 [strings continue playing sinister tune] 31 00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:06,259 [static crackling] 32 00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:11,331 -[knock at door] -[creaking] 33 00:02:11,431 --> 00:02:13,032 -[banging on door] -[creaking] 34 00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:21,774 -[banging on door] -[creaking] 35 00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:24,377 [water dripping] 36 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,913 -[banging on door] -[creaking] 37 00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:28,481 [sinister chord strikes] 38 00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:43,829 I have so many mixed feelings about this picture. 39 00:02:43,930 --> 00:02:47,700 This was the -- the building we lived in. 40 00:02:49,668 --> 00:02:52,872 My life before Robert, I would say it was a regular 41 00:02:52,972 --> 00:02:54,474 textbook family. 42 00:02:55,608 --> 00:02:57,510 All three of us -- me and my mom and my sister 43 00:02:57,610 --> 00:02:59,978 were always super close. 44 00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:02,649 I was old enough to understand that my dad, who was 45 00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:04,517 in the Air Force, was out of the country, 46 00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:07,353 and he had been gone 47 00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:10,323 for a while, and she was lonely. 48 00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:12,559 I'm sure she was lonely until Robert came in 49 00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:13,993 the picture, and things... 50 00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:16,963 took a big, big turn. 51 00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:40,954 This is a picture of my mom and Robert 52 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,454 soon after they started dating. 53 00:03:45,491 --> 00:03:47,393 My mom met him. She went out with one 54 00:03:47,493 --> 00:03:50,496 of our neighbors to the local officers' club, 55 00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:51,831 the NCO club on base. 56 00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:57,070 When I found this picture... 57 00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:02,542 even my mom doesn't look happy in this picture. 58 00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:06,546 I feel during the time my dad was gone, 59 00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:10,416 my mom really didn't know what to do. 60 00:04:10,516 --> 00:04:15,321 This was her first time with two little kids on her own. 61 00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:18,291 And I think that she just thought it'd be easier 62 00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:20,726 if she had somebody else to help her with everything. 63 00:04:39,912 --> 00:04:43,516 The first time I met Robert, I was seven, 64 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,885 getting ready to have my eighth birthday. 65 00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:47,587 It was kind of exciting at first. 66 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,930 This was the Robert that we had in his off-time, 67 00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,265 when he wasn't... 68 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:03,336 thinking he was playing G.I. Joe, Rambo 69 00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:04,937 in the Air Force. 70 00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,106 He worked in the military police. 71 00:05:07,206 --> 00:05:08,941 He was a big guy. 72 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:11,544 He always seemed so big to me. 73 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:15,948 And he always had his camis on and his camouflage hat 74 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,483 with a beard and a koozie. 75 00:05:17,582 --> 00:05:22,789 That was his outside-of-work uniform, always. 76 00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:25,925 We initially thought it was a cool idea 77 00:05:26,025 --> 00:05:27,994 if he would have really been that way, you know? 78 00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:32,398 I'd say that we're off within the first six months. 79 00:05:37,603 --> 00:05:41,040 I would say their relationship moved rather quickly. 80 00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:46,145 He would just come on the weekends 81 00:05:46,245 --> 00:05:48,147 or, you know, a couple of days. 82 00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:53,653 But when he started being there all the time, it just... 83 00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:57,557 it was so overwhelming for me. 84 00:05:57,657 --> 00:05:58,658 So overwhelming. 85 00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:05,331 He had set up a target in our basement 86 00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:09,202 and he would shoot our Barbies 87 00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:11,738 that we no longer played with 88 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,608 or dolls we didn't play with anymore. 89 00:06:18,611 --> 00:06:21,814 He had a blast doing that, 90 00:06:21,914 --> 00:06:25,385 which I thought was very, very weird in our basement. 91 00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:31,324 He had a seat on the couch that was just where he sat. 92 00:06:31,424 --> 00:06:35,128 We had a coffee table that all his guns 93 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,730 and all his cleaning products to clean them 94 00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:39,198 were always right there. 95 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,135 He didn't need to have guns, 96 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,737 and I think that that was his backbone. 97 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,741 It was more of him showing the power behind them 98 00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:51,210 and what he had, honestly. 99 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:59,185 I had never been around that, so it was kind of scary to me. 100 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:09,695 One day, I come in, open the door, drop my stuff, 101 00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:10,763 and run to the bathroom. 102 00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:17,003 And right before I could pull my pants down, 103 00:07:18,237 --> 00:07:19,739 the shower curtain flies open. 104 00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:23,276 [girl screams] 105 00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:26,379 And he's standing there with a gas mask and a machete. 106 00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:28,815 [whispers] Boo! 107 00:07:28,915 --> 00:07:30,116 [laughs] 108 00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:35,888 He thought it was the funniest thing that I peed my pants. 109 00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:43,863 I felt like I was on eggshells all the time. 110 00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:46,799 I didn't know what was gonna happen. 111 00:07:46,899 --> 00:07:49,368 He just kind of took over, and my mom let him. 112 00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:53,306 Like, I guess the man's supposed to control the house, 113 00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:54,740 so that's how she felt about it. 114 00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:58,845 I just wanted to not worry 115 00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:02,281 and not be anxious all the time and just be a kid. 116 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,434 I just did not trust him. 117 00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:24,003 You know, I was always waiting for something to happen. 118 00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:27,473 And I guess now we really have to follow his rules. 119 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:30,710 Whenever we asked for something, 120 00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:32,578 he would have us drop and do push ups 121 00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:33,746 for whatever we wanted. 122 00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:38,183 "You wanna go roller skating? 30 push ups." 123 00:08:40,318 --> 00:08:42,755 You know, it started being whatever we asked, 124 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:44,056 we had to do push ups. 125 00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:47,994 So yeah, I quit asking for anything. 126 00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:52,732 I mean, because there would be any time he would just be like, 127 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,602 "Give me 20 push ups," or, you know, 128 00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:59,171 just sitting there, 129 00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,307 and he'd tell us to -- to count them off. 130 00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:07,747 It was all him establishing dominance over me. 131 00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:13,085 He was... 132 00:09:13,185 --> 00:09:15,888 taking control and seeing what he could get away with. 133 00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:25,665 Robert, along with many other things, implemented 134 00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:28,100 that I wash dishes now. 135 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:29,835 I was eight years old, 136 00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:32,305 couldn't even reach in the sink yet. 137 00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:37,610 And there was a time where 138 00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,712 I had did the dishes the night before, 139 00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:44,016 and...Robert came and woke me up from bed. 140 00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:46,319 It wasn't time to get up for school yet. 141 00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:54,393 He pointed out a plate that still had crusty stuff on it 142 00:09:54,493 --> 00:09:58,831 and told me that I was to hold the plate to the wall 143 00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,299 with my nose, 144 00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:01,934 until he told me I was done. 145 00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:07,340 He told me if I dropped that plate, I would pay for it. 146 00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:11,377 The whole time I'm just sitting there thinking like, 147 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,446 "What's next?" 148 00:10:14,847 --> 00:10:18,718 And just trying not to cry because there was nothing 149 00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:19,852 I could do about it. 150 00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:23,656 Absolutely nothing. 151 00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:25,157 I just, it was my life. 152 00:10:26,325 --> 00:10:27,660 I'm just thinking like, 153 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,362 "What is the point of this?" 154 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:32,698 You know, the anxiety and the fear 155 00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:35,267 and everything that I was already feeling, 156 00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:38,170 I felt was enough punishment. 157 00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:43,776 I must have been standing there 30-45 minutes. 158 00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:50,950 And he finally said, I could move. 159 00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:52,218 [loud thud] 160 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,452 OK, that's enough. 161 00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:12,638 This is a picture of my sister and I with my puppy Buster 162 00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:14,707 that I had received on my birthday. 163 00:11:16,475 --> 00:11:18,711 When I got Buster, he was mine, 164 00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:22,348 and nobody could take him from me, not even Robert. 165 00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:26,085 My mom gave him to me, and he was mine, you know? 166 00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:30,122 But when Robert came home and found Buster, he was mad. 167 00:11:30,222 --> 00:11:32,892 He voices his anger, 168 00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:36,395 and he wasn't gonna do anything for him. 169 00:11:36,495 --> 00:11:41,067 It was me and my mom's job to take care of him, and... 170 00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:43,602 and we did. 171 00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:57,483 I was running all over the house looking for him. 172 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,086 [as Trina] Buster. 173 00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:02,121 [Trina] Like, "Where's Buster?" 174 00:12:03,255 --> 00:12:04,356 [as Trina] Buster? 175 00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:07,526 I already had all these things in my mind. 176 00:12:07,626 --> 00:12:10,763 Like, "Did Robert do something to him?" 177 00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:13,032 He didn't like him from the beginning, 178 00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:15,267 so what's stopping him from doing it? 179 00:12:17,436 --> 00:12:20,539 And Robert's just on the couch. 180 00:12:20,639 --> 00:12:22,508 He just... 181 00:12:22,608 --> 00:12:24,977 blatantly, like, he was so proud of himself. 182 00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:28,114 Was like, "If you really want to know what I did to Buster, 183 00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:30,583 I broke his neck and threw him in the garbage." 184 00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:37,256 And I just, I just ran up to my room. 185 00:12:37,356 --> 00:12:39,091 I just, I cried the whole night. 186 00:12:39,191 --> 00:12:41,293 [crying] 187 00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:46,766 I was so, so messed up at that time. 188 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,168 I just didn't even know what to do. 189 00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:52,304 I didn't -- I didn't know who to talk to. 190 00:12:52,404 --> 00:12:55,341 I'm like, "This -- this just -- this is not good." 191 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:59,478 And that was always in my head, always in my head. 192 00:12:59,578 --> 00:13:01,046 If somebody could kill a dog, 193 00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:04,316 they could definitely kill a person. 194 00:13:04,416 --> 00:13:06,418 And I didn't know if that was gonna be me. 195 00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:20,499 This was our baby, Rocky. 196 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,037 Right before he went and got Rocky is 197 00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:27,373 when he told me what he did to Buster. 198 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:30,509 It was just, like, a couple months before that. 199 00:13:30,609 --> 00:13:32,945 And I thought, "Well, maybe he's trying to make it right." 200 00:13:34,246 --> 00:13:36,315 He was such a good dog, though. 201 00:13:36,415 --> 00:13:37,917 But just like everything else, 202 00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:39,718 Robert had to tear it away from us 203 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,754 because he couldn't control him. 204 00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:52,431 I remember the day that he broke his 4x4 run. 205 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:58,003 Robert ran over there and took him by his chain 206 00:13:58,103 --> 00:13:59,672 that he was dragging 207 00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:03,275 and flung him around like a helicopter in the air. 208 00:14:03,375 --> 00:14:07,713 It was terrifying to hear the noises coming out of Rocky 209 00:14:09,381 --> 00:14:13,252 and to see a human being doing that. 210 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:16,822 And he had to shoot him five times 211 00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:18,524 because he just wouldn't die. 212 00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:29,435 [Trina] I wanna know why... 213 00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:34,840 he ever kept getting dogs. 214 00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:37,843 You know you're just gonna take them away from us. 215 00:14:37,943 --> 00:14:40,913 Why even do that? Why? 216 00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:45,184 Was that fulfilling your need of killing something? 217 00:14:48,854 --> 00:14:52,424 The day he did that, I just, I wouldn't even look at Robert. 218 00:14:52,524 --> 00:14:55,561 I just kept staring at my mom, just like, 219 00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:57,997 "Are you gonna open your mouth? 220 00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:00,900 Why is this OK? Hello, lady?" 221 00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:04,670 You know, "Do you see what's happening here?" 222 00:15:05,804 --> 00:15:08,240 And I just kept looking at her like... 223 00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:11,810 and just no response, nothing. 224 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,046 She just...and... 225 00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:16,749 I just think she was afraid 226 00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:18,183 if she would have said something. 227 00:15:21,186 --> 00:15:22,454 He controlled all of us. 228 00:15:25,224 --> 00:15:27,526 He did it because he wanted to 229 00:15:27,626 --> 00:15:30,362 and he got a thrill from it. 230 00:15:31,530 --> 00:15:34,199 And after Rocky was killed, 231 00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:38,370 I definitely had the thought in my head that, um... 232 00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:39,438 nobody's safe. 233 00:15:58,257 --> 00:16:00,526 He wore the belt to work every day. 234 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:04,263 That seemed to be his go-to, you know? 235 00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:06,065 Well, you can always get the belt, 236 00:16:07,566 --> 00:16:08,701 you know? 237 00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:13,706 The one time I got the belt, that was the first time. 238 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:17,209 I didn't make it home before the streetlights came on. 239 00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:19,244 I was actually 30 minutes late. 240 00:16:27,519 --> 00:16:29,788 I had marks for days, 241 00:16:29,888 --> 00:16:33,892 thick, leather marks for days. 242 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,061 And that was just for coming home late. 243 00:16:38,364 --> 00:16:39,732 He had no problem whooping me. 244 00:16:40,866 --> 00:16:44,336 And um, that's when the paddle, 245 00:16:44,436 --> 00:16:46,605 my cutting board, came into play. 246 00:16:55,814 --> 00:16:58,684 I was so excited because I made her a cutting board 247 00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:02,588 because I cut it out myself and I'd sanded it for weeks 248 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:05,023 and put the finish on it, 249 00:17:05,124 --> 00:17:07,059 and I was so excited to give it to her, and... 250 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:11,730 I came home and handed it to her, and Robert grabbed it. 251 00:17:14,433 --> 00:17:16,969 and he said, "You know, this would be perfect for a paddle." 252 00:17:18,436 --> 00:17:20,339 And, like, my heart dropped. 253 00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:23,242 I was so disappointed. 254 00:17:26,845 --> 00:17:29,448 Because I knew he was gonna do what he was saying, 255 00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:33,685 you know, and he went and cut the sides off. 256 00:17:37,022 --> 00:17:37,990 I was crying. 257 00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:41,126 I was also crying because... 258 00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:43,762 I seen what he made with it. 259 00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:48,434 And I knew that was not gonna be anything nice. 260 00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:55,474 So it always became a choice between the paddle that he made 261 00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:59,011 out of my cutting board or his military belt, 262 00:17:59,111 --> 00:18:01,080 which was, like, thick leather. 263 00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:05,751 And I had already felt that, 264 00:18:05,851 --> 00:18:08,420 so I thought maybe the paddle would be better. 265 00:18:09,621 --> 00:18:12,491 I always chose the paddle. I don't know why, but I did. 266 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,298 It was a big deal to me, because then he took 267 00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:21,533 what I made and used it against me. 268 00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:24,169 And that's when he started the whoopings. 269 00:18:32,544 --> 00:18:34,413 It was a part of the grooming. 270 00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:37,683 I believe he was trying to see what he could do, 271 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:41,453 what -- what he could -- just push the limit far enough. 272 00:18:41,553 --> 00:18:43,088 My mom won't say anything. 273 00:18:43,188 --> 00:18:44,623 He could get away with it. 274 00:18:44,723 --> 00:18:45,657 And it was just always, 275 00:18:45,757 --> 00:18:48,527 just a little bit more each time. 276 00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:59,404 He would ask me to rub his back. 277 00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:02,040 So, you know, I'd have to go around on the couch 278 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,043 and rub his back, which was fine because my mom was right there 279 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:06,845 and we were in the couch -- on the couch. 280 00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:13,619 But then it started escalating to um, he lay in the bed... 281 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,056 and he would just have a towel over his butt. 282 00:19:19,958 --> 00:19:23,829 We'd get up to get ready for school and he would just say, 283 00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:26,031 "Hey, I need my back massaged." 284 00:19:26,131 --> 00:19:29,201 And normally it would be after my mom already left for work. 285 00:19:29,301 --> 00:19:31,036 So she wouldn't really know 286 00:19:31,136 --> 00:19:32,538 until she gotta home and she's like, 287 00:19:32,638 --> 00:19:34,573 "Why aren't you at school?" 288 00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:37,643 But even then, I don't think she questioned him. 289 00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:41,413 I don't understand why my mom thinks this is normal, you know? 290 00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,049 But nobody wanted to... 291 00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:46,385 anger the bear. 292 00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:49,688 Nobody wanted to see what would happen if they said no. 293 00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:03,635 When I was sleeping, 294 00:20:03,735 --> 00:20:07,039 all of a sudden, I would just be woke up to him up my shirt... 295 00:20:08,273 --> 00:20:09,408 or down my pants... 296 00:20:10,676 --> 00:20:13,178 and just the smell of beer. 297 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,817 But he would come in there every -- 298 00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:20,519 It was a lot. 299 00:20:20,619 --> 00:20:23,455 I try and make myself -- I started layering. 300 00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:26,959 I would wear like -- like four tank tops 301 00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:29,628 and then a shirt. 302 00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:31,230 You know what I'm like, 303 00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:33,432 "If you can't get through all the layers, 304 00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:34,967 he can't touch me," 305 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,702 was my thinking then. 306 00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:40,272 But I'd also... 307 00:20:40,372 --> 00:20:41,707 normally cry myself to sleep. 308 00:20:43,875 --> 00:20:46,345 Because I couldn't believe I was having to go through that. 309 00:20:47,346 --> 00:20:49,615 I finally was able to tell my mom about it. 310 00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:52,751 She said she'd talked to him and it stopped for a minute. 311 00:20:52,851 --> 00:20:54,019 And I, you know, I'm like, 312 00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:56,054 "Wow, thanks for talking to him, Mom," 313 00:20:56,154 --> 00:20:57,289 but, um... 314 00:20:58,423 --> 00:20:59,658 then it started back up again. 315 00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:04,830 And there was one opportunity where I told her, 316 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:06,765 "Well, he's doing it again." 317 00:21:08,133 --> 00:21:10,068 And she's like, "What?" 318 00:21:10,168 --> 00:21:11,503 And I -- [sighs] 319 00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:15,340 "What do you want me to do?" 320 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:19,378 Like, "I would really like to just be a kid." 321 00:21:19,478 --> 00:21:21,980 And she's like, "Well, why don't we just pick up a lock?" 322 00:21:30,255 --> 00:21:32,724 And we bought one of them slide-chain locks. 323 00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:39,264 I couldn't wait to go to bed and lock the door 324 00:21:39,364 --> 00:21:41,066 because I was gonna sleep that night. 325 00:21:42,534 --> 00:21:45,804 You know, I was excited. I'm not gonna be bothered. 326 00:21:45,904 --> 00:21:48,173 I get to sleep. My mom did something. 327 00:21:51,743 --> 00:21:56,415 And I woke up immediately as soon as I heard that doorknob. 328 00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:04,423 He tried it, and he couldn't get in. 329 00:22:09,728 --> 00:22:11,763 And then I could hear him with my mom, like, 330 00:22:11,863 --> 00:22:14,032 "What did you do? What did you do?" 331 00:22:14,132 --> 00:22:16,802 [indistinct arguing] 332 00:22:16,902 --> 00:22:19,471 I'm just laying there just thinking, like, 333 00:22:19,571 --> 00:22:22,341 "Is that the conversation we're having right now?" 334 00:22:22,441 --> 00:22:24,209 I guess, you know. 335 00:22:25,310 --> 00:22:27,679 [Trina's mom] No, don't touch me! 336 00:22:27,779 --> 00:22:29,981 But I'm safe. He didn't get in here tonight. 337 00:22:37,756 --> 00:22:40,459 I believe at the time when my mom put the lock on the door, 338 00:22:40,559 --> 00:22:43,028 she was brave enough to finally... 339 00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,197 tell him to get out, 340 00:22:46,431 --> 00:22:48,600 was finally stepping up for herself. 341 00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:50,369 Sometimes I just wonder 342 00:22:51,837 --> 00:22:54,706 if she even had a clue what to do. 343 00:23:03,248 --> 00:23:05,917 One day I just noticed, like, a really, 344 00:23:06,017 --> 00:23:08,553 it was a big gash in her back. 345 00:23:12,190 --> 00:23:14,192 And then like a mark over it. 346 00:23:14,292 --> 00:23:15,961 And it was big, you know? 347 00:23:16,061 --> 00:23:18,397 And I'm like, "What happened to your back?" 348 00:23:18,497 --> 00:23:24,870 And she's like, "Oh, I fell into the bedside table." 349 00:23:24,970 --> 00:23:26,338 Even at that age, I was telling her, 350 00:23:26,438 --> 00:23:28,907 "There's no excuse for him to put his hands on you." 351 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:33,178 You know, it's bad enough, like the mind control 352 00:23:33,278 --> 00:23:35,547 and everything, and now he's touching, 353 00:23:35,647 --> 00:23:37,516 putting his hands on you. 354 00:23:37,616 --> 00:23:38,617 No. 355 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,090 I feel it just, it goes back to the grooming, 356 00:23:45,190 --> 00:23:46,591 the predatory behavior, 357 00:23:47,993 --> 00:23:50,695 seeking out people that you can 358 00:23:51,730 --> 00:23:53,899 manipulate and control. 359 00:23:55,233 --> 00:23:57,936 And I think that most narcissists, 360 00:23:59,371 --> 00:24:00,272 they go for people. 361 00:24:00,372 --> 00:24:02,340 They see people, they notice people 362 00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:06,378 that they can influence and engage in and control. 363 00:24:07,913 --> 00:24:09,881 They pick up on that so easily. 364 00:24:09,981 --> 00:24:11,783 And I think he probably picked up on that. 365 00:24:13,385 --> 00:24:16,288 My mom was so small and petite compared to him. 366 00:24:16,388 --> 00:24:18,757 And I think he took advantage of that. 367 00:24:19,825 --> 00:24:20,792 He knew... 368 00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:23,361 that he could control her. 369 00:24:24,830 --> 00:24:26,932 I would ask her, "Why can't we just leave?" 370 00:24:27,032 --> 00:24:29,634 Because she was always afraid of him. 371 00:24:29,734 --> 00:24:34,072 So if you can't make him leave, why can't we leave? 372 00:24:34,172 --> 00:24:38,610 I know that there had to be brainwashing and she was just, 373 00:24:38,710 --> 00:24:39,978 it was just fear. 374 00:24:40,078 --> 00:24:41,947 But then I did start thinking 375 00:24:42,047 --> 00:24:45,183 about what he might be doing to her. 376 00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:57,028 [indistinct chatter on TV] 377 00:24:59,097 --> 00:25:01,132 [Trina] We were sitting watching TV one day after school 378 00:25:01,233 --> 00:25:03,935 and he was cleaning his guns like he normally did. 379 00:25:05,637 --> 00:25:07,005 My mom was cooking dinner. 380 00:25:07,105 --> 00:25:11,309 So she really was oblivious to anything that was happening. 381 00:25:11,409 --> 00:25:13,278 And he pulled the gun on me. 382 00:25:13,378 --> 00:25:16,781 He said, "I could just shoot you right now. 383 00:25:18,550 --> 00:25:20,519 And what -- what -- what would you do?" 384 00:25:20,619 --> 00:25:22,721 [tense music plays] 385 00:25:22,821 --> 00:25:23,955 [Robert] Hey. 386 00:25:24,055 --> 00:25:26,491 And I just kind of stared at him. 387 00:25:27,959 --> 00:25:28,894 I was stunned. 388 00:25:28,994 --> 00:25:31,363 And I didn't really know how to respond. 389 00:25:31,463 --> 00:25:33,265 I just... 390 00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:35,700 I'm sure my face probably said it all. 391 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,436 And I think that gave him the gratification he wanted. 392 00:25:43,141 --> 00:25:48,580 And he just started going back into cleaning it again, 393 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,048 like nothing just happened. 394 00:25:52,350 --> 00:25:56,788 And that was the first time that it happened 395 00:25:56,888 --> 00:25:59,558 where he actually pointed the gun at me. 396 00:26:10,168 --> 00:26:12,771 We were at my cousin's house visiting. 397 00:26:14,339 --> 00:26:18,043 We were in Robert's parents' like, conversion van, 398 00:26:18,143 --> 00:26:20,579 and my mom had to run up to the corner store. 399 00:26:20,679 --> 00:26:21,980 I'll be right back, OK? 400 00:26:24,983 --> 00:26:27,886 And then he turns around and started arguing with me 401 00:26:27,986 --> 00:26:29,287 with something that I don't remember 402 00:26:29,387 --> 00:26:30,822 what we were arguing about. 403 00:26:31,923 --> 00:26:33,758 But he was like, 404 00:26:33,858 --> 00:26:35,927 "You know, I could just kill you." 405 00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:41,666 And just pulled his gun out from under the seat 406 00:26:41,766 --> 00:26:43,668 and just held it to my head. 407 00:26:45,070 --> 00:26:46,905 I always remember expression. 408 00:26:47,005 --> 00:26:48,440 I always remember his face. 409 00:26:50,175 --> 00:26:53,645 He was very straight-faced and very serious. 410 00:26:53,745 --> 00:26:57,349 And I knew it, but I just didn't care anymore. 411 00:26:58,550 --> 00:27:01,453 And then, like, I see my mom in the rearview mirror 412 00:27:01,553 --> 00:27:03,188 walking up, 413 00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:07,058 and I thought I'd probably be better off if he just pulled it. 414 00:27:07,158 --> 00:27:09,561 Then I wouldn't have to deal with him anymore. 415 00:27:09,661 --> 00:27:13,264 None of the bull, none of it, not worrying about 416 00:27:14,332 --> 00:27:16,635 what's gonna happen to me, what he's gonna do 417 00:27:16,735 --> 00:27:18,036 or, you know, 418 00:27:19,371 --> 00:27:20,605 that maybe he'll get in trouble. 419 00:27:21,773 --> 00:27:22,941 I was like, "Just do it." 420 00:27:24,009 --> 00:27:25,243 "Just do it. 421 00:27:25,343 --> 00:27:27,345 You'll have a lot to explain to my mom." 422 00:27:31,149 --> 00:27:32,150 "Just pull it." 423 00:27:37,422 --> 00:27:38,890 [Trina] He intended to shoot me that day. 424 00:27:40,859 --> 00:27:42,694 Something just happened, and I was done. 425 00:27:42,794 --> 00:27:46,765 And I wasn't going to let him do his dumb [bleep] 426 00:27:46,865 --> 00:27:48,867 he had been doing to me for all them years, 427 00:27:48,967 --> 00:27:52,037 and I was gonna talk back and fight back. 428 00:27:57,509 --> 00:27:59,377 And he slid it back under the seat. 429 00:28:01,379 --> 00:28:03,381 And I think about that all the time. 430 00:28:04,416 --> 00:28:05,850 Like, what if he would've did it? 431 00:28:26,271 --> 00:28:29,774 [reading] "Cyclist charged in fatal I-270 crash. 432 00:28:31,142 --> 00:28:33,678 "A Columbus man is charged with drunken driving after 433 00:28:33,778 --> 00:28:36,815 "a passenger on his motorcycle died as a result of injuries 434 00:28:36,915 --> 00:28:38,917 "he sustained in an accident. 435 00:28:39,017 --> 00:28:42,887 "The driver over the motorcycle, Robert Cordell, 32, was driving 436 00:28:42,987 --> 00:28:44,823 "at a high rate of speed and lost control 437 00:28:44,923 --> 00:28:46,458 "of the motorcycle. 438 00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:49,394 "Both men had been drinking at the time, 439 00:28:49,494 --> 00:28:51,563 and the investigation continues." 440 00:28:54,199 --> 00:28:55,867 This was... 441 00:28:57,402 --> 00:29:02,240 an accident that my mom had actually been waiting to happen 442 00:29:02,340 --> 00:29:04,976 because he told her he had planned this. 443 00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:08,146 Their marriage was dissolving, 444 00:29:11,616 --> 00:29:17,455 so things started, you know, taking...different turns, 445 00:29:18,590 --> 00:29:21,192 meeting different people he wanted to bring around. 446 00:29:22,694 --> 00:29:27,599 Robert started having an affair with his friend's wife. 447 00:29:27,699 --> 00:29:30,668 He would brag to my mom that he was gonna take care of him, 448 00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:32,904 get him out of the picture, 449 00:29:33,004 --> 00:29:35,306 and did exactly like he told her. 450 00:29:35,406 --> 00:29:38,042 He was gonna get him as drunk as he could, 451 00:29:38,143 --> 00:29:40,078 he was gonna put him on the back of his bike, 452 00:29:40,178 --> 00:29:43,448 and he was gonna drive as fast as he could till he flew off. 453 00:29:43,548 --> 00:29:45,083 And that's exactly what he did. 454 00:29:46,651 --> 00:29:51,256 When we seen it on the news and in the paper, she just... 455 00:29:51,356 --> 00:29:55,059 her jaw dropped when we seen it and that he actually did it. 456 00:29:56,861 --> 00:29:58,863 I don't know why she would ever think he wouldn't. 457 00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:03,334 I mean, he was pretty good with following through with threats. 458 00:30:05,203 --> 00:30:09,507 It was heartbreaking that his family did not know 459 00:30:09,607 --> 00:30:12,143 how evil Robert was 460 00:30:12,243 --> 00:30:15,280 and actually fought for him not to do jail time. 461 00:30:15,380 --> 00:30:17,515 They won. He did no jail time for this. 462 00:30:18,516 --> 00:30:20,018 I believe that he murdered 463 00:30:21,386 --> 00:30:22,387 his best friend. 464 00:30:26,057 --> 00:30:27,725 He's just the lowest of the low. 465 00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:37,936 [Trina] I'm sure... 466 00:30:39,270 --> 00:30:41,105 there was fear and despair. 467 00:30:42,841 --> 00:30:47,245 My mom just really couldn't handle it, and she was over it. 468 00:30:47,345 --> 00:30:50,181 And...I think she needed that. 469 00:30:50,281 --> 00:30:52,383 She just was fed up, 470 00:30:52,483 --> 00:30:56,287 and she gained her footing. 471 00:31:08,099 --> 00:31:11,569 My mom finally had the courage to leave. 472 00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:15,206 I was happy that she was divorcing him, 473 00:31:15,306 --> 00:31:17,308 just making him go. 474 00:31:17,408 --> 00:31:18,576 And she made him go. 475 00:31:18,676 --> 00:31:20,678 We didn't leave. She made him go. 476 00:31:20,778 --> 00:31:25,917 At least when he wasn't there, I could breathe. 477 00:31:26,017 --> 00:31:28,052 I felt like I could breathe. 478 00:31:28,152 --> 00:31:31,890 I could fully expand my lungs and I could breathe. 479 00:31:33,258 --> 00:31:35,727 The day she went to court, I told her, come pick me up 480 00:31:35,827 --> 00:31:38,129 from school early and we went out and celebrated. 481 00:31:40,598 --> 00:31:43,134 But she was scared. She was so scared then. 482 00:31:43,234 --> 00:31:44,502 And... 483 00:31:45,970 --> 00:31:47,405 I think she was afraid of... 484 00:31:49,173 --> 00:31:51,476 him stalking, which he did. 485 00:31:51,576 --> 00:31:53,978 [phone ringing] 486 00:31:54,078 --> 00:31:57,148 Robert kept calling over and over again 487 00:31:57,248 --> 00:32:00,652 and leaving messages on the answering machine 488 00:32:00,752 --> 00:32:02,353 that he was on his way over there to kill her. 489 00:32:03,721 --> 00:32:07,592 And he was gonna do to her like he did to his friend. 490 00:32:07,692 --> 00:32:11,229 "And we all know how that turned out," is what he said. 491 00:32:13,598 --> 00:32:14,565 It was just constant. 492 00:32:14,666 --> 00:32:17,969 He was calling back to back to back to back 493 00:32:18,069 --> 00:32:20,104 and just kept leaving messages. 494 00:32:20,204 --> 00:32:22,974 [phone ringing] 495 00:32:23,074 --> 00:32:25,176 I believe he was very capable of following through 496 00:32:25,276 --> 00:32:26,711 with every threat. 497 00:32:26,811 --> 00:32:28,947 Probably wouldn't have a second thought about killing me 498 00:32:29,047 --> 00:32:31,282 or my mom. Wouldn't even bother him. 499 00:32:49,801 --> 00:32:51,069 When he was gone, 500 00:32:52,103 --> 00:32:54,672 I would still feel the anxiousness. 501 00:32:54,772 --> 00:32:59,377 I think that I won't truly feel, like, 502 00:32:59,477 --> 00:33:02,246 calm in my heart until he's dead, 503 00:33:02,347 --> 00:33:04,182 until I know he's -- he's gone. 504 00:33:04,282 --> 00:33:06,050 [phone rings] 505 00:33:06,150 --> 00:33:10,788 Around 2002, we had just moved. 506 00:33:10,888 --> 00:33:13,658 My mom was in a new place, and, you know, we're settling, 507 00:33:13,758 --> 00:33:17,095 and the phone rings, and it's a lawyer. 508 00:33:18,796 --> 00:33:21,532 And she asked what it's referring to, 509 00:33:21,632 --> 00:33:24,535 and they said, "Robert Cordell." 510 00:33:27,038 --> 00:33:29,774 And I'm like, "What are they, what?" 511 00:33:30,775 --> 00:33:34,278 And I guess he was explaining to her what happened. 512 00:33:34,379 --> 00:33:36,714 [female reporter] Prosecutors say Cordell shot and killed his neighbor, 513 00:33:36,814 --> 00:33:38,816 former Reading Mayor Frank Carnevale, 514 00:33:38,916 --> 00:33:40,418 his ex-wife Rita Bushman, 515 00:33:40,518 --> 00:33:43,154 and Cordell's former sister-in-law, Kathy Cordell. 516 00:33:43,254 --> 00:33:45,723 [male reporter] Yesterday afternoon, police say he had blood 517 00:33:45,823 --> 00:33:48,893 on his boots and eventually admitted killing his neighbors 518 00:33:48,993 --> 00:33:51,829 and then told police his sister-in-law was also dead 519 00:33:51,929 --> 00:33:53,064 inside the home. 520 00:33:55,867 --> 00:33:56,968 [Trina] None of us were surprised. 521 00:33:58,336 --> 00:34:02,607 I mean, it blew our mind that he did that, 522 00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:03,875 but we weren't surprised. 523 00:34:04,876 --> 00:34:07,478 He's 100% a monster and a predator... 524 00:34:09,614 --> 00:34:10,614 and a killer. 525 00:34:22,893 --> 00:34:25,396 [news reporter] The victim's family was also in court to face the man 526 00:34:25,496 --> 00:34:27,665 they say turned on friends. 527 00:34:27,764 --> 00:34:30,635 Just came over and killed my brother and his wife 528 00:34:30,735 --> 00:34:32,303 for no reason. 529 00:34:32,402 --> 00:34:33,638 I don't know, it just don't make sense 530 00:34:33,737 --> 00:34:35,773 why somebody would hurt somebody that... 531 00:34:36,741 --> 00:34:38,141 that did so much for them. 532 00:34:45,882 --> 00:34:48,652 I learned that he... 533 00:34:48,753 --> 00:34:51,022 strangled his sister-in-law. 534 00:34:52,924 --> 00:34:55,860 And I can't believe he was in the house with her 535 00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:57,495 for a day or two. 536 00:34:59,564 --> 00:35:02,166 And went next door and confronted the neighbor 537 00:35:02,266 --> 00:35:04,569 about wanting his vehicle back 538 00:35:05,603 --> 00:35:08,639 and proceeded to shoot him 12 times. 539 00:35:10,241 --> 00:35:13,611 And when his ex-wife came to check out what happened, 540 00:35:13,711 --> 00:35:15,546 he shot her. 541 00:35:15,646 --> 00:35:17,582 It wasn't unexpected. 542 00:35:17,682 --> 00:35:20,651 We 100% thought we'd see something else 543 00:35:20,751 --> 00:35:22,353 sooner than this. 544 00:35:24,789 --> 00:35:26,724 I just think about... 545 00:35:26,824 --> 00:35:27,825 his sister-in-law. 546 00:35:30,561 --> 00:35:32,563 He had to stare her in the eyes 547 00:35:32,663 --> 00:35:34,031 while he was doing this. 548 00:35:35,299 --> 00:35:38,870 That's very personal, to strangle somebody. 549 00:35:41,172 --> 00:35:42,173 Honestly... 550 00:35:43,307 --> 00:35:44,842 I... [sighs] 551 00:35:44,942 --> 00:35:46,310 None of us would've been surprised 552 00:35:46,410 --> 00:35:47,712 if there was other victims. 553 00:35:49,981 --> 00:35:51,482 There's probably other victims. 554 00:35:52,884 --> 00:35:56,921 People that he took advantage of didn't have people. 555 00:35:57,021 --> 00:36:00,258 You know, the grooming mentality of trying to be 556 00:36:00,358 --> 00:36:01,893 around people that didn't have 557 00:36:03,261 --> 00:36:05,296 anybody protect them, look out for them. 558 00:36:08,933 --> 00:36:10,835 And I think about that a lot, too, 559 00:36:10,935 --> 00:36:12,336 because I think, you know, 560 00:36:15,273 --> 00:36:18,075 anytime he came in my room, he could have just decided 561 00:36:18,176 --> 00:36:19,277 to get rid of me, too. 562 00:36:19,377 --> 00:36:21,112 I knew too much. 563 00:36:21,212 --> 00:36:23,047 You know, I could get him in trouble. 564 00:36:26,317 --> 00:36:29,387 And then it just makes me think of the guns to my head, 565 00:36:29,487 --> 00:36:32,790 and he could have killed me two times then. 566 00:36:35,927 --> 00:36:38,596 He actually looks very small. 567 00:36:38,696 --> 00:36:44,135 He looks like he's defeated, and I like that. 568 00:36:44,235 --> 00:36:45,503 He needs to be defeated. 569 00:36:45,603 --> 00:36:47,939 He needs to be brought down to... 570 00:36:48,039 --> 00:36:50,775 the level he belongs, which is under my feet. 571 00:36:54,512 --> 00:36:56,113 And that's the first, like, 572 00:36:56,214 --> 00:36:57,882 the first time he looks like that. 573 00:37:13,197 --> 00:37:17,468 I believe he should have been given the death penalty. 574 00:37:19,470 --> 00:37:21,339 And I would have loved to seen that day. 575 00:37:25,243 --> 00:37:28,913 I don't think the taxpayers should pay for him to breathe. 576 00:37:31,349 --> 00:37:33,517 And to eat and to live. 577 00:37:36,220 --> 00:37:38,422 He's a waste of space. 578 00:37:41,459 --> 00:37:43,894 I would actually like, when he dies, can they send me 579 00:37:43,995 --> 00:37:46,931 a video of him being pushed into the oven? 580 00:37:49,734 --> 00:37:53,004 I am so serious. That would be the best closure 581 00:37:54,272 --> 00:37:55,239 for a lot of people. 582 00:37:58,276 --> 00:38:00,878 My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer 583 00:38:00,978 --> 00:38:04,749 in the summer of 2018. 584 00:38:04,849 --> 00:38:09,387 And even though she went through treatment 585 00:38:09,487 --> 00:38:11,989 and was doing well, 586 00:38:12,089 --> 00:38:15,359 it still took her life in 2020 during COVID. 587 00:38:18,229 --> 00:38:20,097 If my mom was here for this, 588 00:38:20,197 --> 00:38:22,466 I believe that she would be very supportive. 589 00:38:23,601 --> 00:38:25,069 And I think she'd probably be proud of me. 590 00:38:25,169 --> 00:38:29,307 It's kind of like the end of a chapter, closing the book. 591 00:38:35,179 --> 00:38:40,217 I wish she would have had the strength to leave earlier. 592 00:38:40,318 --> 00:38:42,553 I wish she would have known what to do. 593 00:38:42,653 --> 00:38:43,654 I think just... 594 00:38:45,356 --> 00:38:48,025 at her age and in the life she lived, 595 00:38:48,125 --> 00:38:50,027 she really didn't know her options, 596 00:38:50,127 --> 00:38:53,331 and she didn't have anybody to talk to about that either, 597 00:38:54,699 --> 00:38:58,069 and she just picked what she thought was... 598 00:38:59,670 --> 00:39:00,738 the best route for her. 599 00:39:02,106 --> 00:39:03,507 And... 600 00:39:04,775 --> 00:39:06,744 as much as I paid 601 00:39:06,844 --> 00:39:09,347 for her being with him, she paid. 602 00:39:17,655 --> 00:39:20,591 I've closed my book on all the trauma. 603 00:39:20,691 --> 00:39:22,626 I've worked through with the trauma. 604 00:39:22,727 --> 00:39:24,495 It's just made me the person I am today. 605 00:39:24,595 --> 00:39:27,298 I don't deal with anybody's bull[bleep]. 606 00:39:27,398 --> 00:39:28,999 I'm always the one to stand up. 607 00:39:31,535 --> 00:39:35,506 If I wouldn't have lived the life I lived with him, 608 00:39:35,606 --> 00:39:37,742 I probably would have been a different person. 609 00:39:39,410 --> 00:39:42,179 My experiences have made me who I am today. 610 00:39:42,279 --> 00:39:44,048 I'm not gonna thank him for that. 611 00:39:44,148 --> 00:39:47,651 He should die for that. But I am the person I am. 612 00:39:47,752 --> 00:39:49,487 Everything has built me up to this. 613 00:39:51,622 --> 00:39:53,190 [producer] What would you say to Robert 614 00:39:53,290 --> 00:39:56,293 if you were sitting in the same room with him today? 615 00:39:58,596 --> 00:40:00,431 I would say, 616 00:40:00,531 --> 00:40:02,333 if I seen Robert today -- 617 00:40:07,471 --> 00:40:08,472 you didn't get me. 618 00:40:10,074 --> 00:40:11,075 I won. 619 00:40:12,843 --> 00:40:14,645 I'm still here. 620 00:40:14,745 --> 00:40:17,815 I'm walking this earth. I'm breathing this air, free. 621 00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:21,285 And I'm not only 622 00:40:21,385 --> 00:40:23,154 free to do it, 623 00:40:23,254 --> 00:40:26,457 I'm free from you to do it, 624 00:40:28,058 --> 00:40:30,094 and I'm good, and I made a life, 625 00:40:32,363 --> 00:40:35,766 and I didn't let anything you do take that from me. 626 00:40:35,866 --> 00:40:37,501 Anything you did, 627 00:40:37,601 --> 00:40:41,372 I still did everything, just made me do it better. 628 00:40:41,472 --> 00:40:42,640 I could have went down 629 00:40:43,674 --> 00:40:46,410 his path and ended up crazy 630 00:40:46,510 --> 00:40:49,613 and let everything that affected me drive me crazy 631 00:40:49,713 --> 00:40:50,915 and do crazy things, 632 00:40:53,017 --> 00:40:54,718 but it's my mind. 633 00:40:54,819 --> 00:40:59,457 So I chose that I was gonna heal from it. 634 00:40:59,557 --> 00:41:02,359 And I wasn't gonna let it break me 635 00:41:04,094 --> 00:41:06,163 like it did when I was that age. 636 00:41:06,263 --> 00:41:07,431 I've done pretty good. 637 00:41:19,043 --> 00:41:22,713 I made the comment-- he angers [snap] like that. 638 00:41:22,813 --> 00:41:28,352 The next thing I know he's got hands around me choking me! 639 00:41:28,452 --> 00:41:32,823 It was real then that he was a murderer 640 00:41:32,923 --> 00:41:35,459 and I had been living with him.