1
00:00:03,233 --> 00:00:05,267
Oh, no, forget it.
2
00:00:05,269 --> 00:00:08,236
Great. The guy at the marina
said my motor just burned out.
3
00:00:08,238 --> 00:00:09,805
I forgot you had a boat.
4
00:00:09,807 --> 00:00:11,807
I told you I go
motorboating every weekend.
5
00:00:11,809 --> 00:00:14,509
I thought that meant something else.
6
00:00:14,928 --> 00:00:17,412
It's gonna cost me $2,000
for a new one, hmm?
7
00:00:17,414 --> 00:00:19,548
Now, how am I gonna come
up with money like that?
8
00:00:19,550 --> 00:00:21,016
Why don't you raise your prices?
9
00:00:21,018 --> 00:00:22,617
You haven't done that for a while.
10
00:00:22,619 --> 00:00:24,219
She's right.
Your prices are almost as low
11
00:00:24,221 --> 00:00:27,489
as the free donuts at
the homeless shelter.
12
00:00:28,398 --> 00:00:31,360
What? It's on my way home from work.
13
00:00:32,069 --> 00:00:33,729
When was the last time
you raised your prices?
14
00:00:33,731 --> 00:00:35,263
I think it was during the Bush era.
15
00:00:35,265 --> 00:00:36,565
RANDY: Which Bush?
16
00:00:36,567 --> 00:00:38,834
Father? Son?
17
00:00:38,836 --> 00:00:40,869
Burning?
18
00:00:41,150 --> 00:00:42,170
No, I'm not doing that.
19
00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:44,840
I-I'm afraid I'm gonna
scare away my customers.
20
00:00:44,842 --> 00:00:46,341
But the neighborhood is gentrifying.
21
00:00:46,343 --> 00:00:47,876
These new people can afford it.
22
00:00:47,878 --> 00:00:49,211
They have money to burn.
23
00:00:49,213 --> 00:00:51,380
Just around the corner,
they opened up a new cheese store.
24
00:00:51,382 --> 00:00:52,514
So?
25
00:00:52,516 --> 00:00:54,116
It's for cats!
26
00:00:55,319 --> 00:00:57,185
I-I got to think about
this pricing thing.
27
00:00:57,187 --> 00:00:58,453
I'll be back.
28
00:01:00,057 --> 00:01:01,957
Good morning. What can I get you?
29
00:01:01,959 --> 00:01:03,158
I don't know.
30
00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:04,860
- What's good today?
- Huh, let's see.
31
00:01:04,862 --> 00:01:09,031
Well, if you're in for
something sweet and chocolaty...
32
00:01:11,212 --> 00:01:15,137
I am very uncomfortable with
this level of customer service.
33
00:01:15,139 --> 00:01:16,405
Oh, my bad.
34
00:01:16,407 --> 00:01:17,773
Hey, everybody, meet Tavi.
35
00:01:17,775 --> 00:01:20,042
She's a grad student at the
art department at Dearborn.
36
00:01:20,044 --> 00:01:21,143
Wow.
37
00:01:21,145 --> 00:01:24,913
Smart, beautiful, artistic.
38
00:01:24,915 --> 00:01:26,281
What you doing with this guy?
39
00:01:26,283 --> 00:01:27,416
(laughs)
40
00:01:28,418 --> 00:01:29,451
You must be Randy.
41
00:01:29,453 --> 00:01:31,086
Franco's told me all about you guys.
42
00:01:31,088 --> 00:01:33,055
You must be Tush, and...
43
00:01:33,057 --> 00:01:34,389
you're the greedy slumlord.
44
00:01:34,391 --> 00:01:35,590
Hey.
45
00:01:35,592 --> 00:01:37,159
I'm also a greedy dry cleaner.
46
00:01:37,161 --> 00:01:38,427
(mouths)
47
00:01:38,429 --> 00:01:40,362
Here you go.
So, uh, what we doing tonight?
48
00:01:40,364 --> 00:01:42,215
'Cause I was in the
mood for something free.
49
00:01:42,250 --> 00:01:42,998
Ah.
50
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,100
Tempting, but I'm busy.
51
00:01:45,683 --> 00:01:47,936
I bet I could think of some way
to make it up to you tomorrow.
52
00:01:47,938 --> 00:01:49,504
What, with, like, sex and stuff?
53
00:01:49,506 --> 00:01:51,006
(groans)
54
00:01:51,008 --> 00:01:52,674
Fine.
55
00:01:52,676 --> 00:01:53,775
I'll walk you out.
56
00:01:54,481 --> 00:01:56,044
What do you guys think "stuff" is?
57
00:01:56,046 --> 00:01:58,680
I think it's nachos.
58
00:01:58,682 --> 00:02:00,282
ARTHUR: Okay, I've reached a decision.
59
00:02:00,284 --> 00:02:02,117
I'm gonna raise my prices.
60
00:02:02,119 --> 00:02:03,452
Oh, well, that's progress.
61
00:02:03,454 --> 00:02:07,589
Next step,
stop referring to Wi-Fi as "witchcraft."
62
00:02:08,926 --> 00:02:10,659
What kind of price hike we talking?
63
00:02:10,661 --> 00:02:14,362
Well, everything's
just gone up 20 cents.
64
00:02:17,101 --> 00:02:19,701
All right, ten cents.
65
00:02:19,703 --> 00:02:21,770
A nickel.
66
00:02:23,407 --> 00:02:24,539
Hey.
67
00:02:24,541 --> 00:02:28,577
Would you come with me
next time I buy a car?
68
00:02:29,780 --> 00:02:32,047
♪ ♪
69
00:02:45,367 --> 00:02:46,378
Look at this.
70
00:02:46,380 --> 00:02:48,848
They found another head
on Lake Shore Drive.
71
00:02:48,850 --> 00:02:52,985
I wonder if it matches
the torso over on Clark.
72
00:02:52,987 --> 00:02:56,589
Or that ear they found on Sheffield.
73
00:02:56,591 --> 00:03:00,092
Yeah, it's like
a bloody Mr. Potato Head.
74
00:03:00,435 --> 00:03:01,827
ARTHUR: Hey, morning, Tush.
75
00:03:01,829 --> 00:03:04,763
- The usual?
- No. Swimsuit season's coming,
76
00:03:04,765 --> 00:03:06,765
so half my usual.
77
00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:08,601
Three glazed, coming up.
78
00:03:08,603 --> 00:03:10,836
Oh, Tush, uh,
that'll be another 15 cents.
79
00:03:10,838 --> 00:03:12,216
Remember, I raised my prices today?
80
00:03:12,273 --> 00:03:13,906
Oh, right, no problem.
81
00:03:13,908 --> 00:03:15,941
Can you spot me 20 cents?
82
00:03:15,943 --> 00:03:17,610
Oh. He only needs 15.
83
00:03:17,612 --> 00:03:21,947
Well, I don't know about you,
cheapskate, but I tip.
84
00:03:22,815 --> 00:03:23,816
Hey, Franco.
85
00:03:23,818 --> 00:03:24,546
FRANCO: Tavi.
86
00:03:24,619 --> 00:03:26,838
Hey, Sweatpants, Arthur,
Sofia, meet Tavi.
87
00:03:26,855 --> 00:03:28,504
Hi. Sofia.
88
00:03:28,645 --> 00:03:29,904
I love the blue in your hair.
89
00:03:29,991 --> 00:03:32,224
Thanks. I love your green.
90
00:03:32,226 --> 00:03:34,693
Oh, that's kale.
91
00:03:34,695 --> 00:03:36,829
I lost the lid on my blender.
92
00:03:38,195 --> 00:03:40,766
So, we were in the neighborhood,
and I thought I'd swing by
93
00:03:40,768 --> 00:03:42,067
and show off my new man.
94
00:03:42,069 --> 00:03:43,335
- (chuckles)
- Patrick, Jasmine,
95
00:03:43,337 --> 00:03:44,442
- this is Franco.
- What's up?
96
00:03:44,506 --> 00:03:47,740
Hello. Oh, don't be offended
if Jasmine doesn't speak.
97
00:03:47,742 --> 00:03:50,776
She's taken a vow of silence
for her performance art project.
98
00:03:50,778 --> 00:03:54,280
How do I get my wife
into performance art?
99
00:03:54,282 --> 00:03:55,881
Hi, um, I'm Arthur.
100
00:03:55,883 --> 00:03:57,216
PATRICK: Tavi, doesn't he look
101
00:03:57,218 --> 00:03:59,985
just like the groundskeeper
on your parents' island?
102
00:03:59,987 --> 00:04:01,453
What... your parents have an island?
103
00:04:01,455 --> 00:04:03,789
And a handsome groundskeeper?
104
00:04:04,542 --> 00:04:06,325
So, what,
is your family rich or something?
105
00:04:06,327 --> 00:04:07,493
Well, my dad's done pretty well.
106
00:04:07,495 --> 00:04:08,560
He runs a hedge fund.
107
00:04:08,562 --> 00:04:09,762
SWEATPANTS: My dad had a hedge fund.
108
00:04:09,764 --> 00:04:13,265
He was saving to buy
clippers to trim our hedge.
109
00:04:13,267 --> 00:04:15,501
Yeah, we had a hedge.
110
00:04:15,503 --> 00:04:17,202
(chuckles)
111
00:04:17,204 --> 00:04:19,838
Oh, don't forget, uh,
my art show starts tonight at 7:00.
112
00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:21,040
7:00 it is.
113
00:04:21,102 --> 00:04:23,469
P.S., we also had a shrub.
114
00:04:24,190 --> 00:04:24,937
FRANCO: Hey.
115
00:04:24,939 --> 00:04:26,973
Sweatpants, all right,
it's kind of a big deal, all right?
116
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,442
Not just anybody can get in.
117
00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:29,442
Oh, no, he can come.
118
00:04:29,444 --> 00:04:31,877
It's just a preview.
You know, collectors, friends,
119
00:04:31,879 --> 00:04:34,080
and whatever you are.
120
00:04:34,082 --> 00:04:36,816
Oh, well, last night I was
the guy at the Genius Bar,
121
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:39,185
and you were a girl
with a very dirty iPad.
122
00:04:39,187 --> 00:04:41,554
(giggles)
123
00:04:41,556 --> 00:04:44,690
I got a role for you to play.
124
00:04:45,542 --> 00:04:49,595
You're the employee who sweeps
up the very dirty kitchen.
125
00:04:49,597 --> 00:04:50,963
Thank you, Arthur.
126
00:04:50,965 --> 00:04:53,432
If I ever need to last longer in bed,
I'll think of you.
127
00:04:53,434 --> 00:04:54,700
All right.
128
00:04:56,537 --> 00:04:57,837
Ooh.
129
00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,438
A three-dollar donut hole?
130
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:00,640
I'm intrigued.
131
00:05:00,642 --> 00:05:01,741
Ooh, damn it.
132
00:05:01,743 --> 00:05:03,509
Oh, the printer made a typo.
133
00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:05,044
Yes, they did.
134
00:05:05,046 --> 00:05:08,047
It's supposed to say $30,
135
00:05:08,049 --> 00:05:10,883
but because Arthur
cares for his customers,
136
00:05:10,885 --> 00:05:14,020
you pay only three.
137
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:15,454
Fine, I'll take half a dozen.
138
00:05:15,456 --> 00:05:16,756
But no more.
139
00:05:16,758 --> 00:05:18,724
Swimsuit season's coming.
140
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:23,229
That'll be 18, uh... dollars...
141
00:05:23,748 --> 00:05:26,866
Isn't that a lot of
money for donut holes?
142
00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:28,668
This pressed juice cost $12.50.
143
00:05:28,670 --> 00:05:30,836
I'm happy to pay for
things that are authentic.
144
00:05:30,838 --> 00:05:35,741
Well, no one is more authentic
than Arthur, over here.
145
00:05:35,743 --> 00:05:39,912
Yeah, these donut holes
are artisanal, uh,
146
00:05:39,914 --> 00:05:42,548
small-batch...
147
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:45,418
cruelty-free.
148
00:05:45,420 --> 00:05:47,620
I can taste the craftsmanship.
149
00:05:47,622 --> 00:05:51,457
This flour is definitely locally sifted.
150
00:05:52,667 --> 00:05:55,094
People should know about this place.
151
00:05:55,096 --> 00:05:56,462
Gramming it!
152
00:05:56,464 --> 00:05:58,464
(camera phone clicks)
153
00:05:58,466 --> 00:06:01,567
Well, enjoy your holes.
154
00:06:03,004 --> 00:06:05,371
(scoffs) I can't believe
that I got away with that.
155
00:06:05,373 --> 00:06:06,672
RANDY: You know, Arthur,
156
00:06:06,674 --> 00:06:09,608
honest businessmen don't
usually refer to a sale
157
00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:12,778
as "getting away with it."
158
00:06:12,780 --> 00:06:14,480
And when we said to raise your prices,
159
00:06:14,482 --> 00:06:16,716
we didn't mean, like,
a thousand percent.
160
00:06:16,718 --> 00:06:18,250
She makes a good point.
161
00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:19,318
Hey, it's called capitalism.
162
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,954
You charge what the market will bear.
163
00:06:21,956 --> 00:06:23,055
He's right.
164
00:06:23,057 --> 00:06:24,657
It is called capitalism.
165
00:06:24,659 --> 00:06:27,760
No, it's called
taking advantage of people.
166
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,795
Which I hate. It's disgusting.
167
00:06:31,165 --> 00:06:32,798
Taking advantage? He was happy.
168
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,101
And Arthur needs a boat motor.
169
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:37,703
He's way too old to paddle.
170
00:06:37,705 --> 00:06:38,738
ARTHUR: Y-Yeah,
171
00:06:38,740 --> 00:06:40,039
you know what? Fawz is right. I mean,
172
00:06:40,041 --> 00:06:42,108
if they're willing to pay,
who am I to stop them?
173
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,909
I'm just saying, you're gonna regret it.
174
00:06:43,911 --> 00:06:46,078
You'll thank me later.
175
00:06:50,358 --> 00:06:51,417
- Hey.
- Yo.
176
00:06:51,924 --> 00:06:52,651
Tavi seems cool.
177
00:06:52,653 --> 00:06:53,753
Mm-hmm.
178
00:06:53,755 --> 00:06:56,822
Too bad it won't last.
179
00:06:56,824 --> 00:06:58,390
What the hell are you talking about?
180
00:06:58,392 --> 00:06:59,725
We have a lot in common, man.
181
00:06:59,727 --> 00:07:01,794
She likes skateboarding, kung fu movies,
182
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:05,331
and we're both tired of white
people talking about Hamilton.
183
00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:06,599
Franco.
184
00:07:06,601 --> 00:07:07,533
She's rich.
185
00:07:07,535 --> 00:07:08,701
Really rich.
186
00:07:08,703 --> 00:07:09,702
And you're not.
187
00:07:09,704 --> 00:07:11,103
Really not.
188
00:07:11,975 --> 00:07:12,705
So?
189
00:07:12,707 --> 00:07:14,473
So all rich girls go through this phase.
190
00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:16,442
She just wants to slum
it up with a bad boy.
191
00:07:16,444 --> 00:07:18,144
(scoffs) I'm not a bad boy.
192
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:21,147
You grew up in the hood,
you're a tagger,
193
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:22,381
you've been arrested.
194
00:07:22,383 --> 00:07:25,384
To a rich girl, you Tupac.
195
00:07:27,421 --> 00:07:29,488
I think what Sweatpants is talking about
196
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:30,656
is virtue signaling.
197
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:32,358
You bet I am.
198
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,326
But you might want to spell
it out for these folks,
199
00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:37,329
in case they're not as bright as we are.
200
00:07:37,762 --> 00:07:39,832
Well, it's when
you hang out with someone
201
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:42,568
of a lower social status
so that people can think
202
00:07:42,570 --> 00:07:44,403
you're more open-minded and progressive.
203
00:07:44,405 --> 00:07:47,106
That's the definition I use.
204
00:07:47,108 --> 00:07:49,742
Okay, that's not
what's going on here, all right?
205
00:07:49,744 --> 00:07:52,011
So I'm not letting you and
Sweatpants get in my head.
206
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:53,813
Enjoy your coffee.
207
00:07:53,815 --> 00:07:56,849
So, Sofia,
you think Tavi is using Franco?
208
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,117
(chuckles softly)
209
00:07:58,119 --> 00:08:01,987
(singsongy):
Sounds like someone's jealous.
210
00:08:01,989 --> 00:08:05,558
Just because Franco and
I hooked up a few times
211
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:07,126
doesn't mean that I'm
gonna get all jealous
212
00:08:07,128 --> 00:08:08,694
when he starts seeing someone else.
213
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:12,765
Or, alternative theory, you're jealous.
214
00:08:12,767 --> 00:08:14,266
I don't need to listen to this.
215
00:08:14,268 --> 00:08:16,235
I'm an intersectional feminist.
216
00:08:16,699 --> 00:08:18,604
Sweatpants, tell them what that is.
217
00:08:21,909 --> 00:08:24,577
Lady crossing guard.
218
00:08:24,579 --> 00:08:26,912
And Sweatpants, you're wrong about Tavi.
219
00:08:26,914 --> 00:08:28,480
She ain't going through no phase.
220
00:08:28,482 --> 00:08:30,249
I just don't want you to get hurt.
221
00:08:30,251 --> 00:08:33,552
Sooner or later,
all rich girls end up with rich guys.
222
00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:34,854
Just 'cause she got money,
it's not gonna affect
223
00:08:34,856 --> 00:08:36,622
- our relationship.
- I don't know.
224
00:08:36,624 --> 00:08:39,358
She could be using you
to piss off her dad.
225
00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:42,728
Yeah, I've been the bull in
that rodeo plenty of times.
226
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:45,364
I've pissed off boyfriends, mothers
227
00:08:45,366 --> 00:08:49,568
and a whole lot of people on a
webcam I didn't even know about.
228
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:55,941
(indistinct chatter)
229
00:08:55,943 --> 00:08:58,143
Franco.
230
00:08:58,145 --> 00:08:59,411
Hey, Tavi. Mwah.
231
00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:00,880
Hey, Sweatpants.
232
00:09:00,882 --> 00:09:02,615
Yo, your pieces look amazing.
233
00:09:02,617 --> 00:09:03,983
Yeah, this is trippy.
234
00:09:03,985 --> 00:09:06,719
How much weed do you smoke?
235
00:09:06,721 --> 00:09:08,787
Just edibles.
236
00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:12,658
So, Tavi, will your enchanting
friend Jasmine be here?
237
00:09:12,660 --> 00:09:14,126
I was hoping to chat her up.
238
00:09:14,128 --> 00:09:15,594
She will, but don't waste your breath.
239
00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:17,429
She hasn't spoken in six months.
240
00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:20,266
A car ran over her foot,
she didn't make a peep.
241
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:22,401
Really? Well, let's see what happens
242
00:09:22,403 --> 00:09:26,538
when this car runs over her heart.
243
00:09:26,540 --> 00:09:29,041
Oof. Why didn't you tell me
this thing was all fancy?
244
00:09:29,043 --> 00:09:30,709
Don't let this intimidate you.
245
00:09:30,711 --> 00:09:32,378
You know what I like
to do at these things?
246
00:09:32,380 --> 00:09:33,846
- What?
- Play a little game
247
00:09:33,848 --> 00:09:35,014
called "What's Their Deal?"
248
00:09:35,016 --> 00:09:36,181
Pick anyone here.
249
00:09:36,183 --> 00:09:37,549
Okay.
250
00:09:37,551 --> 00:09:40,052
How about that old dude right
there with the young lady?
251
00:09:40,054 --> 00:09:41,954
She's in it for the money,
he's in it for the kidney.
252
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:44,356
(laughs) All right.
253
00:09:44,358 --> 00:09:45,824
Okay. What about that dude?
254
00:09:45,826 --> 00:09:48,761
So I said, "If that's a shark,
I think I'll buy a submarine."
255
00:09:48,763 --> 00:09:49,962
(group laughs)
256
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:51,397
I bet the only reason they're laughing
257
00:09:51,399 --> 00:09:52,731
at that corny-ass joke
258
00:09:52,733 --> 00:09:54,033
is 'cause
he's the richest dude in the room.
259
00:09:54,035 --> 00:09:55,434
He is.
260
00:09:55,436 --> 00:09:56,869
He's also my dad.
261
00:09:56,871 --> 00:09:58,170
Oh.
262
00:09:58,172 --> 00:10:01,774
Franco, this is my dad Jeffrey.
263
00:10:01,776 --> 00:10:03,809
I think you've mentioned
this young man, Octavia.
264
00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:05,811
- Octavia?
- Oh, that's right.
265
00:10:05,813 --> 00:10:08,380
Since she started grad school,
she's calling herself "Tavi."
266
00:10:08,382 --> 00:10:10,916
Part of her whole bohemian phase.
267
00:10:10,918 --> 00:10:12,918
"Phase," you say.
268
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:16,121
"Phase," he said.
269
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,658
So, did you two meet at Princeton?
270
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:21,727
Uh, no, Franco's a freshman at Dearborn.
271
00:10:21,729 --> 00:10:23,862
He's putting himself through school,
working full-time,
272
00:10:23,864 --> 00:10:25,164
at a donut shop.
273
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,332
Impressive.
274
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:27,599
I know, right?
275
00:10:27,601 --> 00:10:29,535
His dad kicked him out when he was 16.
276
00:10:29,537 --> 00:10:32,271
He had to live on the street.
277
00:10:32,273 --> 00:10:34,440
You should speak to my breakfast club.
278
00:10:34,442 --> 00:10:36,709
Can you be in Miami next Tuesday?
279
00:10:36,711 --> 00:10:38,377
Yeah, if I start walking now.
280
00:10:38,379 --> 00:10:39,878
(laughs)
281
00:10:40,815 --> 00:10:43,649
This one's a breath of fresh air.
282
00:10:43,651 --> 00:10:45,351
So what kind of art do you do?
283
00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:47,202
- Well, I...
- Oh, he's a street artist.
284
00:10:47,237 --> 00:10:48,530
Fascinating.
285
00:10:48,768 --> 00:10:52,057
Just between you and me,
have you ever been arrested?
286
00:10:52,738 --> 00:10:54,526
Do I have the right to remain silent?
287
00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:55,828
(laughs)
288
00:10:55,830 --> 00:10:58,464
I'll take that as a yes. (laughs)
289
00:10:58,466 --> 00:11:01,000
Warren,
you got to hear this kid's story.
290
00:11:01,002 --> 00:11:02,901
Actually, uh, I-I got to get going.
291
00:11:02,903 --> 00:11:04,403
But it was nice meeting you, sir.
292
00:11:04,405 --> 00:11:05,871
Good night, Octavia.
293
00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:07,940
Hey. Are you leaving?
294
00:11:07,942 --> 00:11:10,175
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
295
00:11:10,177 --> 00:11:11,710
Look, you and your dad,
296
00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:14,146
y'all gonna have to find another
"bad boy" to show off.
297
00:11:14,148 --> 00:11:15,481
What's that supposed to mean?
298
00:11:15,483 --> 00:11:17,182
It feels like you're using me.
299
00:11:17,184 --> 00:11:18,584
Like I'm some mascot from the hood
300
00:11:18,586 --> 00:11:20,152
that's supposed to show
your family and friends
301
00:11:20,154 --> 00:11:21,286
how "woke" you are.
302
00:11:21,288 --> 00:11:22,721
Okay, you don't know me well enough
303
00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:24,123
to speak to me like that.
304
00:11:24,125 --> 00:11:26,792
And that is not who I am, at all.
305
00:11:26,794 --> 00:11:27,826
You're right.
306
00:11:27,828 --> 00:11:28,961
I don't know you.
307
00:11:28,963 --> 00:11:31,397
Or your real name,
y-your family background,
308
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:33,265
or that your dad owns an island.
309
00:11:33,267 --> 00:11:34,733
He doesn't own an island.
310
00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:37,603
He owns a compound, a beach and a reef.
311
00:11:37,605 --> 00:11:40,005
- Okay, that's an island.
- That's an island.
312
00:11:40,007 --> 00:11:41,740
But what difference does that make?
313
00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:43,742
I thought we had a connection.
314
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,979
So did I.
315
00:11:46,981 --> 00:11:47,946
I'm just saying,
316
00:11:47,948 --> 00:11:49,281
I love a girl that's soft-spoken.
317
00:11:49,283 --> 00:11:52,217
So we should go get drinks,
maybe go dancing...
318
00:11:52,219 --> 00:11:53,585
No!
319
00:11:53,756 --> 00:11:56,424
♪
320
00:12:02,466 --> 00:12:04,100
There you go, a dozen donut holes.
321
00:12:04,201 --> 00:12:05,740
That'll be 36 bucks.
322
00:12:07,168 --> 00:12:09,236
Uh, two dollars for the box.
323
00:12:09,238 --> 00:12:10,438
- Really?
- Yeah.
324
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:13,174
You plant that box,
it'll grow into a tree.
325
00:12:16,446 --> 00:12:17,645
Is that true?
326
00:12:17,647 --> 00:12:19,246
No. (chuckles)
327
00:12:20,416 --> 00:12:22,616
Capitalism, it's fun.
328
00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:26,554
This whole time,
I thought I was teaching you, but you...
329
00:12:28,987 --> 00:12:31,092
...you were teaching me.
330
00:12:33,245 --> 00:12:37,214
Superior Donuts is one of the
last holdouts of old Uptown.
331
00:12:37,216 --> 00:12:38,949
What are you gonna do next?
332
00:12:38,951 --> 00:12:41,719
Sell wheatgrass juice and B-12 shots?
333
00:12:41,721 --> 00:12:43,487
If they be $12, I'm in.
334
00:12:44,870 --> 00:12:45,689
Don't listen to her.
335
00:12:45,691 --> 00:12:47,758
Business is about making money.
336
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:50,661
Look, Arthur, I'm just saying,
this is not who you are.
337
00:12:50,663 --> 00:12:51,896
I know who he is,
338
00:12:51,898 --> 00:12:53,297
a man who can finally afford underwear
339
00:12:53,299 --> 00:12:55,232
for the first time since Watergate.
340
00:12:55,234 --> 00:12:56,634
Yeah.
341
00:12:56,636 --> 00:13:00,671
Hello, Arthur, Randy, Fawz.
342
00:13:02,475 --> 00:13:04,875
Not me.
343
00:13:05,642 --> 00:13:08,012
- Excuse me?
- I usually sit over there.
344
00:13:08,014 --> 00:13:11,315
I've asked Arthur to put a
plaque that says "Tush's Stool."
345
00:13:11,317 --> 00:13:14,085
For some reason, he won't do it.
346
00:13:14,087 --> 00:13:16,120
- Sorry, got here first.
- Oh.
347
00:13:16,911 --> 00:13:19,557
By the way, your hair's on upside down.
348
00:13:24,340 --> 00:13:25,162
You okay?
349
00:13:25,164 --> 00:13:26,564
Absolutely.
350
00:13:26,566 --> 00:13:28,299
Business is booming, that's great.
351
00:13:28,301 --> 00:13:29,366
Arthur's great.
352
00:13:29,368 --> 00:13:31,168
- Everything's great.
- Mm.
353
00:13:31,170 --> 00:13:33,170
You just said "great" three times.
354
00:13:33,172 --> 00:13:35,005
I know. Isn't that great?
355
00:13:36,435 --> 00:13:37,308
All right, Arthur.
356
00:13:37,310 --> 00:13:38,776
I got more three-dollar donut holes
357
00:13:38,778 --> 00:13:41,212
for you and your fancy new friends.
358
00:13:41,214 --> 00:13:43,080
Hey, would you mind taking my picture?
359
00:13:43,082 --> 00:13:45,015
And can you get the old
guy over my shoulder?
360
00:13:45,017 --> 00:13:46,283
He's so authentic.
361
00:13:46,285 --> 00:13:49,386
(chuckles) Well, yeah. Yeah.
362
00:13:49,388 --> 00:13:52,423
All right.
363
00:13:55,328 --> 00:13:56,560
There you go.
364
00:13:56,562 --> 00:13:59,730
By the way, you look just
like that dude from Hamilton.
365
00:14:08,774 --> 00:14:10,307
Look at us, Arthur.
366
00:14:10,309 --> 00:14:12,209
We're both props for rich people.
367
00:14:12,211 --> 00:14:13,577
Hey, come on, what is your problem?
368
00:14:13,579 --> 00:14:14,812
You're cranky all day.
369
00:14:14,814 --> 00:14:16,714
Just hate how money messes people up.
370
00:14:18,071 --> 00:14:20,851
Hey, people with money
are just like you!
371
00:14:20,853 --> 00:14:22,686
But better.
372
00:14:25,358 --> 00:14:27,224
- Hey, Franco.
- What's up?
373
00:14:27,226 --> 00:14:30,895
What's wrong?
Arthur show you his new underwear?
374
00:14:32,262 --> 00:14:34,265
Nah. Broke up with Tavi.
375
00:14:34,267 --> 00:14:36,066
What?
376
00:14:37,803 --> 00:14:40,371
- But I thought you really liked her.
- I do.
377
00:14:40,373 --> 00:14:41,772
I did.
378
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,108
Yo, is it weird
talking to you about this?
379
00:14:44,110 --> 00:14:45,843
'Cause, you know, we used to...
380
00:14:53,377 --> 00:14:55,352
Teach sign language to gorillas?
381
00:14:56,656 --> 00:14:59,423
We're friends, you idiot.
Now tell me what happened.
382
00:14:59,425 --> 00:15:01,659
Okay, so I went
to her art preview, right?
383
00:15:01,661 --> 00:15:02,960
And I met her dad,
384
00:15:02,962 --> 00:15:05,462
and I think you were right about
that virtue signaling stuff.
385
00:15:05,464 --> 00:15:07,565
Oh, no, no,
that's not what I said she was doing.
386
00:15:07,567 --> 00:15:10,201
I was just explaining what
Sweatpants was talking about.
387
00:15:10,203 --> 00:15:11,402
Well, then Sweatpants was right.
388
00:15:12,176 --> 00:15:14,171
Did you hear what you just said?
389
00:15:15,474 --> 00:15:17,408
I know. I know, but you should've saw
390
00:15:17,410 --> 00:15:18,809
how she was telling her dad
391
00:15:18,811 --> 00:15:20,277
how I was putting myself through college
392
00:15:20,279 --> 00:15:22,613
and what an amazing achievement it was.
393
00:15:22,615 --> 00:15:24,782
She was saying nice things about you?
394
00:15:24,784 --> 00:15:26,517
What a bitch.
395
00:15:28,054 --> 00:15:29,553
It was her tone,
396
00:15:29,555 --> 00:15:31,855
like she was slumming it with me.
397
00:15:31,857 --> 00:15:35,626
And let's face it, she is.
398
00:15:35,628 --> 00:15:36,827
Oh...
399
00:15:36,829 --> 00:15:38,429
I get it.
400
00:15:38,431 --> 00:15:40,864
You're scared that you
don't belong in her world
401
00:15:40,866 --> 00:15:42,833
and that it won't work out,
so you dumped her
402
00:15:42,835 --> 00:15:44,134
before she could dump you.
403
00:15:44,136 --> 00:15:45,069
I ain't scared.
404
00:15:45,071 --> 00:15:48,639
Okay, lame, pathetic, insecure...
405
00:15:48,641 --> 00:15:50,407
Okay, go back to "scared."
406
00:15:51,285 --> 00:15:53,281
Look, maybe it won't work out,
407
00:15:53,316 --> 00:15:54,878
but you'll never know if
you don't give it a chance.
408
00:15:56,237 --> 00:15:57,183
- You're right.
- Yeah.
409
00:15:57,218 --> 00:15:58,048
All right.
410
00:15:58,050 --> 00:15:59,183
Thanks, Sofia.
411
00:15:59,185 --> 00:16:00,484
- 'Kay.
- All right.
412
00:16:02,559 --> 00:16:04,521
Hey, Tush. What's wrong?
413
00:16:04,523 --> 00:16:07,091
Arthur show you his new underwear?
(laughs)
414
00:16:07,899 --> 00:16:09,360
Yes.
415
00:16:16,569 --> 00:16:17,735
Hey.
416
00:16:18,754 --> 00:16:20,004
What are you doing here?
417
00:16:20,006 --> 00:16:21,472
I came to apologize.
418
00:16:21,474 --> 00:16:23,607
Yeah, I acted like a
complete ass the other night.
419
00:16:23,609 --> 00:16:24,775
And I'm sorry.
420
00:16:24,777 --> 00:16:27,578
It just felt like, you know,
I was your little project,
421
00:16:27,580 --> 00:16:30,414
and you were Sandra
Bullock in The Blind Side.
422
00:16:30,416 --> 00:16:32,383
You thought I was judging you?
423
00:16:32,385 --> 00:16:34,351
When the second you
found out I had money,
424
00:16:34,353 --> 00:16:36,781
you started making all
these assumptions about me.
425
00:16:36,816 --> 00:16:39,857
I know. It just felt
like you were showing me off
426
00:16:39,859 --> 00:16:41,659
for your friends and your-your dad.
427
00:16:41,661 --> 00:16:42,860
I was!
428
00:16:42,862 --> 00:16:44,495
Because you're interesting.
429
00:16:44,497 --> 00:16:46,664
You really think that
just because I have money,
430
00:16:46,666 --> 00:16:48,632
I can't appreciate you for who you are?
431
00:16:48,634 --> 00:16:51,302
And I knew my dad
would love your stories
432
00:16:51,304 --> 00:16:53,170
because he's really into street art,
433
00:16:53,172 --> 00:16:54,271
which you would have known
434
00:16:54,273 --> 00:16:55,939
if you would have actually talked to him
435
00:16:55,941 --> 00:16:57,708
instead of just writing him off.
436
00:16:57,710 --> 00:16:58,676
I'm sorry.
437
00:16:58,678 --> 00:17:00,144
I am, too.
438
00:17:00,146 --> 00:17:03,493
I really like you,
but if you can't figure out
439
00:17:03,528 --> 00:17:05,970
how to be comfortable
around me and my family,
440
00:17:06,005 --> 00:17:08,218
this is never gonna work out.
441
00:17:13,726 --> 00:17:16,126
Mr. St. Clair,
I hear you like street art.
442
00:17:16,608 --> 00:17:18,696
- Franco, actually, I do.
- Yeah?
443
00:17:18,698 --> 00:17:19,830
I got a story for you.
444
00:17:19,832 --> 00:17:21,432
Um, this one time,
445
00:17:21,434 --> 00:17:23,334
I climbed out of the 20th story window
446
00:17:23,336 --> 00:17:24,535
to paint this black Jesus
447
00:17:24,537 --> 00:17:25,936
on the side of the Hammersmith Building.
448
00:17:25,938 --> 00:17:27,471
I own that building.
449
00:17:28,974 --> 00:17:30,507
Want to hear another story?
450
00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:34,011
- Uh...
- So, that was you.
451
00:17:34,013 --> 00:17:35,979
I liked it.
452
00:17:35,981 --> 00:17:37,948
I painted over it and
fired the security guard,
453
00:17:37,950 --> 00:17:40,417
but it showed a lot of talent.
454
00:17:40,419 --> 00:17:43,987
Did Tavi tell you I
have an original Banksy?
455
00:17:43,989 --> 00:17:45,289
What?
456
00:17:45,291 --> 00:17:47,091
Really? Yo, I'd love to see that.
457
00:17:47,093 --> 00:17:48,926
It's in London.
458
00:17:48,928 --> 00:17:50,227
Oh. I'm not a strong swimmer,
459
00:17:50,229 --> 00:17:52,996
but if the tides are right,
I can make it there by July.
460
00:17:52,998 --> 00:17:54,498
(laughs)
461
00:17:55,066 --> 00:17:57,267
If you want to go to London,
we do have a plane.
462
00:17:57,269 --> 00:18:00,838
Oh. Like the Avengers?
463
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,507
That's nice, Dad,
but I don't know if this "bad boy"
464
00:18:03,509 --> 00:18:05,542
will feel comfortable
riding in a private jet.
465
00:18:05,544 --> 00:18:08,078
I-I can, I can suck it up for you.
466
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:10,214
(laughs)
467
00:18:18,477 --> 00:18:19,984
Hey, look at this.
468
00:18:20,436 --> 00:18:22,770
The Cubs lost another starting pitcher.
469
00:18:22,792 --> 00:18:24,225
Yeah, I refuse to watch any sport
470
00:18:24,227 --> 00:18:25,693
that doesn't include women.
471
00:18:28,431 --> 00:18:29,730
What's this guy's problem?
472
00:18:29,732 --> 00:18:32,133
I don't see a guy, I see a person.
473
00:18:33,011 --> 00:18:34,602
- Gender is fluid.
- (scoffs)
474
00:18:34,604 --> 00:18:36,337
I'm out.
475
00:18:38,141 --> 00:18:39,206
There you are.
476
00:18:39,208 --> 00:18:41,075
I'm here because I forgot my umbrella.
477
00:18:41,077 --> 00:18:42,476
Hey, come on. I miss you guys.
478
00:18:42,478 --> 00:18:44,045
Where you been for the last two days?
479
00:18:44,047 --> 00:18:46,080
Oh, just a lot of gigs and stuff,
you know.
480
00:18:46,082 --> 00:18:48,282
Hey, wait a minute.
What's that on your face?
481
00:18:48,284 --> 00:18:49,684
Is that powdered sugar?
482
00:18:49,686 --> 00:18:51,619
No. No.
483
00:18:51,621 --> 00:18:54,388
It's, uh, it's cocaine.
484
00:18:56,125 --> 00:18:59,760
Yeah, I, uh, really been
getting into the old nose candy.
485
00:18:59,762 --> 00:19:01,128
Oh, really?
486
00:19:01,130 --> 00:19:03,464
No. We were at Excellent Donuts.
487
00:19:03,466 --> 00:19:04,699
- What?
- Yeah.
488
00:19:04,701 --> 00:19:06,534
Because they sell cocaine there.
489
00:19:07,904 --> 00:19:09,704
No, it's because it's quiet
490
00:19:09,706 --> 00:19:12,239
and not crawling with hipsters.
491
00:19:12,241 --> 00:19:13,674
So you guys are gonna bail on me
492
00:19:13,676 --> 00:19:15,076
just because I want to
make a little money?
493
00:19:15,518 --> 00:19:17,211
I might be out of line here,
494
00:19:17,213 --> 00:19:19,980
but don't you already
have everything you need?
495
00:19:19,982 --> 00:19:22,450
I mean, you own the building.
496
00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:25,419
And you don't actually need
that boat motor till the spring.
497
00:19:25,994 --> 00:19:26,787
TUSH: If you needed underwear,
498
00:19:26,789 --> 00:19:29,223
you could have just
borrowed some from me.
499
00:19:31,027 --> 00:19:34,395
Arthur,
I've been coming here my whole life.
500
00:19:34,397 --> 00:19:36,697
And I always thought
you loved this place...
501
00:19:36,699 --> 00:19:37,932
(humming "Battle Hymn of the Republic")
502
00:19:37,934 --> 00:19:39,700
...not because you were gonna get rich,
503
00:19:39,702 --> 00:19:42,536
but because you got to spend
every day with your friends.
504
00:19:42,538 --> 00:19:44,238
- Tush!
- Sorry.
505
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:47,041
- Ugh.
- Sorry.
506
00:19:47,043 --> 00:19:48,275
I'm just saying,
507
00:19:48,277 --> 00:19:51,579
this place is more
than a business to us.
508
00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:53,748
It's like a second home.
509
00:19:53,750 --> 00:19:55,883
I think you feel the same.
510
00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:58,786
All right, attention!
511
00:19:58,788 --> 00:20:00,955
I got an announcement to make.
512
00:20:00,957 --> 00:20:03,958
I'm lowering the price of
the donut holes to 30 cents.
513
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,826
Why?
514
00:20:05,828 --> 00:20:07,695
Because the flour's not locally-sifted.
515
00:20:07,697 --> 00:20:10,264
I buy it from China by the metric ton.
516
00:20:10,266 --> 00:20:12,767
And then I throw in some
white sugar and lard,
517
00:20:12,769 --> 00:20:16,103
and deep-fry the living crap out of it.
518
00:20:17,273 --> 00:20:19,540
What is this doing to my body?
519
00:20:19,542 --> 00:20:20,541
I don't know, but it's nothing good.
520
00:20:20,543 --> 00:20:21,742
Take a look at him.
521
00:20:24,714 --> 00:20:27,148
I turn 23 next week.
522
00:20:29,085 --> 00:20:30,451
Arthur, what's happening?
523
00:20:30,453 --> 00:20:32,019
The suckers are leaving.
524
00:20:32,021 --> 00:20:34,054
Oh, who cares?
Let somebody else rip them off.
525
00:20:34,056 --> 00:20:37,191
You know why I wake up
at 4:00 every morning?
526
00:20:37,193 --> 00:20:38,759
To pee?
527
00:20:39,350 --> 00:20:41,629
No, that's at 3:00.
528
00:20:41,631 --> 00:20:44,165
I wake up at 4:00 to
make the best damn donuts
529
00:20:44,167 --> 00:20:47,201
in Chicago for the best
damn people in Chicago.
530
00:20:47,203 --> 00:20:48,702
(all cheering)
531
00:20:49,445 --> 00:20:51,839
Free donut holes on me.
532
00:20:51,841 --> 00:20:53,040
Oh, Arthur, that was amazing.
533
00:20:53,042 --> 00:20:55,075
How did you think up all that stuff
534
00:20:55,077 --> 00:20:57,678
about the lard and all
the garbage that you use?
535
00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,847
What do you mean, "think up"?
That's my recipe.
536
00:21:01,317 --> 00:21:02,449
Oh.
537
00:21:02,949 --> 00:21:03,784
You did say "free," right?
538
00:21:28,585 --> 00:21:30,585
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
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