1 00:00:00,016 --> 00:00:02,272 Synced and corrected by Dragoniod for www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:02,297 --> 00:00:04,937 Arthur, did you see your sign? 3 00:00:04,962 --> 00:00:07,132 You're kidding me. They got me again? 4 00:00:07,157 --> 00:00:08,112 Got what? 5 00:00:08,137 --> 00:00:10,792 Oh, every spring, those senior girls 6 00:00:10,817 --> 00:00:14,417 from Blessed Heart, they mess with my Superior Donuts sign. 7 00:00:14,526 --> 00:00:16,292 It's a classic prank. 8 00:00:16,294 --> 00:00:18,354 They unplug some letters so it says "Super Nuts." 9 00:00:20,899 --> 00:00:23,733 "Super nuts" can also mean huge balls. 10 00:00:25,437 --> 00:00:26,970 Hilarious! 11 00:00:26,972 --> 00:00:28,851 Actually, it's a tradition. 12 00:00:28,876 --> 00:00:31,515 When I was a senior at Blessed Heart, I did it. 13 00:00:31,540 --> 00:00:36,046 And by "did it," I mean started it. 14 00:00:36,048 --> 00:00:38,408 That's cute. Couple schoolgirls do it, it's a prank. 15 00:00:38,433 --> 00:00:39,837 I do it, it's a felony. 16 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:44,345 Did you guys see the sign? 17 00:00:44,370 --> 00:00:46,831 I know it's wrong, but I'm a sucker for a good ball joke. 18 00:00:49,027 --> 00:00:51,327 Why do they always hit my shop, huh? 19 00:00:51,329 --> 00:00:54,397 "Buttons and Stuff" right down the street, huh? 20 00:00:54,399 --> 00:00:56,259 You got it? Butt stuff. 21 00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:01,735 Every year he gets so upset. 22 00:01:01,790 --> 00:01:02,970 It's a harmless prank, 23 00:01:03,002 --> 00:01:04,368 like the time I passed out, 24 00:01:04,370 --> 00:01:06,370 and my brother wrote "loser" on my forehead 25 00:01:06,372 --> 00:01:07,805 in permanent marker. 26 00:01:07,807 --> 00:01:09,440 I had just lost my job, 27 00:01:09,442 --> 00:01:11,855 so it really did a number on me emotionally. 28 00:01:12,812 --> 00:01:15,279 But at the end of the day it was funny. 29 00:01:15,281 --> 00:01:17,014 To him. 30 00:01:17,016 --> 00:01:19,717 I miss my pranking days. 31 00:01:19,719 --> 00:01:22,634 Yesterday you filled my holster with pudding. 32 00:01:23,923 --> 00:01:27,958 Yeah. I miss yesterday. 33 00:01:29,375 --> 00:01:29,994 Oh, Arthur, 34 00:01:29,996 --> 00:01:31,696 please don't tell me you're about to climb that. 35 00:01:31,698 --> 00:01:33,631 - Why not? - Because you're 75. 36 00:01:33,633 --> 00:01:35,466 You're pretty much made of eggshells and nose hair. 37 00:01:35,468 --> 00:01:37,435 Oh, come on, what are you talking about? 38 00:01:37,437 --> 00:01:39,070 I got this. Here, take a look. 39 00:01:41,641 --> 00:01:43,708 Want to hop on my back, smart guy, huh? 40 00:01:43,710 --> 00:01:44,709 I could do this all day. 41 00:01:44,711 --> 00:01:46,177 Please stop. 42 00:01:46,179 --> 00:01:47,378 Your knees sound like someone 43 00:01:47,380 --> 00:01:48,813 biting into a Kit Kat. 44 00:01:50,682 --> 00:01:53,050 Arthur, just let Franco fix the sign. 45 00:01:53,052 --> 00:01:55,986 Yeah, it's why you hired one of them. 46 00:01:56,755 --> 00:01:59,690 What? A helper. 47 00:01:59,692 --> 00:02:01,659 Okay, stop being proud and give me the ladder. 48 00:02:01,661 --> 00:02:03,294 - All right, all right, fine. - Okay. 49 00:02:03,296 --> 00:02:04,595 Just take 'em out of the plugs. 50 00:02:04,597 --> 00:02:05,909 - Unplug plugs. - Yeah, yeah, yeah... 51 00:02:05,934 --> 00:02:06,948 You'll figure it out when you get up there. 52 00:02:06,973 --> 00:02:07,735 Yes, yes. 53 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,333 There's no shame in accepting help. 54 00:02:09,335 --> 00:02:11,869 It doesn't mean you're old, just that you're wiser. 55 00:02:11,871 --> 00:02:14,705 Which is another word for old. 56 00:02:14,707 --> 00:02:17,341 No, you wouldn't believe how many emergency calls 57 00:02:17,343 --> 00:02:18,809 start out with someone getting on a ladder 58 00:02:18,811 --> 00:02:21,078 to put up their Christmas lights. 59 00:02:23,348 --> 00:02:25,082 Do you remember that guy? 60 00:02:25,084 --> 00:02:27,017 He grabbed a strand of lights 61 00:02:27,019 --> 00:02:30,020 and got electrocuted before hanging himself. 62 00:02:30,022 --> 00:02:33,157 His family is Jewish now. 63 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:36,727 Franco! 64 00:02:37,696 --> 00:02:39,397 What happened? 65 00:02:39,399 --> 00:02:40,731 - Are you all right? - You all right? 66 00:02:40,733 --> 00:02:43,334 I think I twisted my ankle. 67 00:02:43,336 --> 00:02:44,635 Oh, my God! 68 00:02:44,637 --> 00:02:48,305 "Superior Nuts." 69 00:02:48,307 --> 00:02:49,340 Which could also mean 70 00:02:49,342 --> 00:02:52,042 the finest testicles. 71 00:02:53,545 --> 00:02:57,124 He's hurt. I'm healing with laughter. 72 00:03:07,826 --> 00:03:09,160 Oh, there he is. 73 00:03:09,162 --> 00:03:10,694 What'd they say about your ankle? 74 00:03:10,696 --> 00:03:13,230 Well, he said I should ice it, wrap it up, 75 00:03:13,232 --> 00:03:15,475 and check out the sale on Easter candy. 76 00:03:16,002 --> 00:03:17,735 Your doctor sells candy? 77 00:03:17,737 --> 00:03:20,204 No, it was a security guard at Walgreens. 78 00:03:20,206 --> 00:03:23,874 And he gave me this from the lost and found. 79 00:03:23,876 --> 00:03:26,010 Well, I think it makes you look very distinguished. 80 00:03:26,012 --> 00:03:28,847 Throw on a monocle, you'll look just like Mr. Peanut. 81 00:03:30,149 --> 00:03:32,550 Oh, I'm sorry, is that racist? 82 00:03:32,552 --> 00:03:34,385 Why would that be racist? 83 00:03:34,410 --> 00:03:36,143 I don't know, it just felt wrong. 84 00:03:38,979 --> 00:03:42,059 Maya, is Mr. Peanut black? 85 00:03:42,061 --> 00:03:44,695 You asked me that yesterday, and the answer is still 86 00:03:44,697 --> 00:03:46,864 stop asking me that. 87 00:03:46,866 --> 00:03:48,666 Franco, why don't you go see a doctor? 88 00:03:48,668 --> 00:03:50,367 Well, funny thing is, 89 00:03:50,369 --> 00:03:52,970 doctors would like you to have money or insurance. 90 00:03:52,972 --> 00:03:54,138 And I got neither. 91 00:03:54,140 --> 00:03:55,739 Arthur, are you telling me 92 00:03:55,741 --> 00:03:57,641 you don't have a health plan for your employees? 93 00:03:57,643 --> 00:03:59,877 Employee. It's very expensive 94 00:03:59,879 --> 00:04:01,779 for a small business to do that. 95 00:04:01,781 --> 00:04:03,447 I'd have to raise the price of the donuts 96 00:04:03,449 --> 00:04:05,349 from 89 cents to a buck 20. 97 00:04:05,351 --> 00:04:07,685 Suck it up, Franco, you're on your own. 98 00:04:08,554 --> 00:04:10,187 Come on, man, I'm used to this. 99 00:04:10,189 --> 00:04:12,273 When you grow up broke, you can't just run to the doctor 100 00:04:12,298 --> 00:04:13,557 every time you sneeze. 101 00:04:13,559 --> 00:04:15,606 You couldn't afford to go to the doctor? 102 00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,542 What did your therapist say? 103 00:04:19,130 --> 00:04:21,374 I'm just gonna sit down. 104 00:04:22,235 --> 00:04:24,134 I don't need a doctor, all right? 105 00:04:24,136 --> 00:04:25,536 I got my Grandma Cici. 106 00:04:25,538 --> 00:04:27,238 You know, she's the queen of home remedies. 107 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,406 You got a cold, she gives you whiskey and lemon. 108 00:04:29,408 --> 00:04:31,041 All right, if you got an ear infection, 109 00:04:31,043 --> 00:04:33,043 she blows cigarette smoke in your ear. 110 00:04:33,045 --> 00:04:36,780 So, basically, you grew up in a casino. 111 00:04:36,782 --> 00:04:38,816 I feel terrible, you know? 112 00:04:38,818 --> 00:04:40,084 I-I wish I was in a position 113 00:04:40,086 --> 00:04:41,385 to offer you insurance. 114 00:04:41,387 --> 00:04:43,320 Yeah, it's tough not having insurance. 115 00:04:43,322 --> 00:04:45,322 I lost mine when they shut down the factory. 116 00:04:45,324 --> 00:04:47,324 Took me three years to pay off a kidney stone 117 00:04:47,326 --> 00:04:49,093 that was clogging up the old pistol. 118 00:04:52,178 --> 00:04:53,631 It's ridiculous. You know we're one 119 00:04:53,633 --> 00:04:55,065 of the only developed countries 120 00:04:55,067 --> 00:04:56,767 that doesn't offer universal health care? 121 00:04:56,769 --> 00:04:59,550 Oh, boo-hoo. 122 00:05:00,907 --> 00:05:04,174 I'm playing the world's tiniest rababa. 123 00:05:06,011 --> 00:05:07,845 It is an Iraqi violin. 124 00:05:07,847 --> 00:05:09,647 Very sad. Very sad. 125 00:05:09,649 --> 00:05:12,850 You're saying you don't offer your employees health care? 126 00:05:12,852 --> 00:05:15,853 American workers get everything handed to them. 127 00:05:15,855 --> 00:05:19,256 Sick days, and time off to have a baby. Ha! 128 00:05:19,258 --> 00:05:21,158 In Iraq, if you go into labor, 129 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,037 you hold it in until lunch. 130 00:05:24,732 --> 00:05:28,552 And the baby finishes the day out in the mailroom. 131 00:05:29,302 --> 00:05:30,601 Hey, wait a second, wait a second. 132 00:05:30,603 --> 00:05:31,902 I just realized, 133 00:05:31,904 --> 00:05:33,203 when I hired you, 134 00:05:33,205 --> 00:05:35,205 I had to get workman's comp insurance. 135 00:05:35,207 --> 00:05:37,241 You got hurt on the job, so you should be covered. 136 00:05:37,243 --> 00:05:39,376 No, no, no, I don't want this to cost you anything. 137 00:05:39,378 --> 00:05:40,911 No, no, no, no, it's not gonna cost me anything. 138 00:05:40,913 --> 00:05:42,246 I already paid for it. 139 00:05:42,248 --> 00:05:44,366 Well, uh... 140 00:05:45,685 --> 00:05:47,151 since you already paid for it, 141 00:05:47,153 --> 00:05:48,786 I guess it does hurt so bad that I want to die. 142 00:05:48,788 --> 00:05:50,187 Uh-huh. 143 00:05:50,189 --> 00:05:53,023 You know what my workman's comp is? 144 00:05:53,025 --> 00:05:54,224 Telling whoever's hurt 145 00:05:54,226 --> 00:05:55,693 that there are seven people in line 146 00:05:55,695 --> 00:05:58,228 that would do their job for half the price. 147 00:05:58,230 --> 00:06:01,632 Fawz, you would have made a great plantation owner, man. 148 00:06:01,634 --> 00:06:03,467 Thank you. 149 00:06:03,469 --> 00:06:05,202 Wait a minute. 150 00:06:05,204 --> 00:06:06,439 Thank you. 151 00:06:11,176 --> 00:06:13,110 Yes, Grandma, I drank the vinegar 152 00:06:13,112 --> 00:06:14,947 and put the pennies in my shoes. 153 00:06:16,282 --> 00:06:18,215 No, I'm not rubbing snake venom 154 00:06:18,217 --> 00:06:20,486 and volcanic ash on my foot. 155 00:06:21,487 --> 00:06:23,487 'Cause I don't own a snake, Grandma. 156 00:06:23,489 --> 00:06:25,456 Or a volcano. 157 00:06:26,034 --> 00:06:27,124 All right, Grandma. I got to go. 158 00:06:27,126 --> 00:06:29,460 Love you, G. Peace. Be good. 159 00:06:29,462 --> 00:06:31,462 - Franco. - Yeah. 160 00:06:31,464 --> 00:06:32,830 This is my insurance guy, Gary. 161 00:06:32,832 --> 00:06:34,989 Oh, no introduction necessary. 162 00:06:35,014 --> 00:06:37,735 I'm sure he recognizes me from my TV spots. 163 00:06:37,737 --> 00:06:39,069 You know, people are always stopping me, 164 00:06:39,071 --> 00:06:41,939 trying to get me to do my catch phrase. 165 00:06:41,941 --> 00:06:43,040 It's nice to meet you, man. 166 00:06:43,042 --> 00:06:45,342 Fine, you wore me down. 167 00:06:45,344 --> 00:06:46,343 Okay. 168 00:06:46,345 --> 00:06:49,013 "When things get hairy, call Gary." 169 00:06:49,015 --> 00:06:52,488 ♪ 555-CALL-GARY. ♪ 170 00:06:54,219 --> 00:06:56,587 He's very inexpensive. 171 00:06:56,589 --> 00:06:57,788 So, what happened? 172 00:06:57,790 --> 00:06:58,889 Well, I fell off a ladder, 173 00:06:58,891 --> 00:07:00,424 and I think I might have broken something. 174 00:07:00,426 --> 00:07:02,393 Yeah, and it was on the job, so he's covered, right? 175 00:07:02,395 --> 00:07:04,061 Oh, you betcha. Yeah, it's like that plumber 176 00:07:04,063 --> 00:07:05,996 in my commercial who gets bopped on the noggin. 177 00:07:05,998 --> 00:07:07,364 What does he do? 178 00:07:07,366 --> 00:07:10,367 He listens to those cartoon birds flying above his head, 179 00:07:10,369 --> 00:07:12,569 and he dials... 180 00:07:12,571 --> 00:07:16,540 ♪ 555-CALL-GARY. ♪ 181 00:07:16,542 --> 00:07:19,027 Literally no one cheaper. 182 00:07:20,079 --> 00:07:22,279 Okay, so you need to fill out these forms. 183 00:07:22,281 --> 00:07:23,981 - Alright. - And the state of Illinois 184 00:07:23,983 --> 00:07:25,883 - requires a drug test. - For what? 185 00:07:25,885 --> 00:07:28,185 Well, to make sure you haven't used any controlled substances 186 00:07:28,187 --> 00:07:29,687 in the past 14 days. 187 00:07:29,689 --> 00:07:33,057 Thanks for coming, Gary. 188 00:07:33,059 --> 00:07:34,625 Oh. Oh, okay. 189 00:07:34,627 --> 00:07:37,194 Well, look, uh, sorry, guys. I would look the other way, 190 00:07:37,196 --> 00:07:40,130 but the attorney general is investigating. 191 00:07:40,132 --> 00:07:41,398 ♪ Ol' Gary. ♪ 192 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,033 - Ooh. - Mm-hmm. 193 00:07:43,035 --> 00:07:44,234 Damn it, kid, 194 00:07:44,236 --> 00:07:46,003 you can't even pass the drug test. 195 00:07:46,005 --> 00:07:47,404 Could you? 196 00:07:47,406 --> 00:07:48,572 I'll cancel the policy 197 00:07:48,574 --> 00:07:50,366 if we're both going to smoke weed. 198 00:07:51,143 --> 00:07:53,811 Man, I was really hoping this would work out. 199 00:07:53,813 --> 00:07:55,112 Me, too. 200 00:07:55,114 --> 00:07:56,680 What the hell am I gonna do now? 201 00:07:56,682 --> 00:07:58,248 Man, you don't have to do anything, all right? 202 00:07:58,250 --> 00:07:59,583 I'll be okay. 203 00:07:59,585 --> 00:08:01,485 No. You're my employee. 204 00:08:01,487 --> 00:08:02,686 - I'm responsible for you. - No. 205 00:08:02,688 --> 00:08:04,521 No. I can take care of myself. 206 00:08:04,523 --> 00:08:06,123 It's my problem. 207 00:08:06,125 --> 00:08:08,042 You know where I can find a volcano in Chicago, though? 208 00:08:09,928 --> 00:08:11,762 I'll just Google it. 209 00:08:17,762 --> 00:08:20,496 Okay. Whew! Well, y'all were right. 210 00:08:20,551 --> 00:08:22,484 Turns out it's a little broken. 211 00:08:22,486 --> 00:08:24,019 Oh. 212 00:08:24,021 --> 00:08:25,846 Well, I'm glad you finally went to the doctor. 213 00:08:25,909 --> 00:08:27,775 Nah. I looked up some symptoms online. 214 00:08:27,777 --> 00:08:30,544 Tenderness, swelling and whenever I put weight on it, 215 00:08:30,546 --> 00:08:32,547 there's a sound like... 216 00:08:36,518 --> 00:08:38,826 So, um, h-how did you get the cast? 217 00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:40,054 Oh, it's homemade. 218 00:08:40,056 --> 00:08:41,622 I used some things I found in the kitchen. 219 00:08:41,624 --> 00:08:43,547 Look, the heel's a soup ladle. 220 00:08:45,445 --> 00:08:47,061 This is crazy, Franco. 221 00:08:47,063 --> 00:08:48,496 You have to go to a doctor. 222 00:08:48,498 --> 00:08:50,731 Randy, with the X-rays and the extra fees, 223 00:08:50,733 --> 00:08:52,566 that's gonna cost me about a couple grand. 224 00:08:52,568 --> 00:08:54,068 What about the free clinic? 225 00:08:54,070 --> 00:08:55,403 Well, I called them. When I told them 226 00:08:55,405 --> 00:08:57,605 I had a broken foot, they gave me an appointment. 227 00:08:57,607 --> 00:08:59,440 In three months. 228 00:08:59,442 --> 00:09:01,342 I think it's very resourceful. 229 00:09:01,344 --> 00:09:03,177 Thank you, Maya. See? 230 00:09:03,179 --> 00:09:04,879 I made it out of paper-mâché and newspapers. 231 00:09:04,881 --> 00:09:07,481 You want to sign it? 232 00:09:07,483 --> 00:09:09,417 Uh-oh. 233 00:09:09,419 --> 00:09:12,901 My horoscope says that I should stay away from Capricorns today. 234 00:09:12,926 --> 00:09:14,433 Well, that's funny, 'cause I'm a Capri... 235 00:09:15,758 --> 00:09:17,858 - Ah, sorry. - It's cool. 236 00:09:17,860 --> 00:09:18,993 It's cool. I'll just, uh... 237 00:09:18,995 --> 00:09:20,594 plug it up with some dough in the kitchen. 238 00:09:20,596 --> 00:09:22,430 Whew! 239 00:09:22,432 --> 00:09:24,799 'Sup, James? 240 00:09:30,772 --> 00:09:32,573 He's got to go to a doctor. 241 00:09:32,575 --> 00:09:34,108 Take him to yours. 242 00:09:34,110 --> 00:09:36,577 I can't. He died eight years ago. 243 00:09:36,579 --> 00:09:38,546 W-Wait a minute. You haven't seen a doctor 244 00:09:38,548 --> 00:09:39,780 in eight years? 245 00:09:39,782 --> 00:09:42,149 I don't need to. I outlived my doctor. 246 00:09:44,186 --> 00:09:46,153 I won. 247 00:09:47,356 --> 00:09:50,291 I'm just gonna have to find the money and pay for it myself. 248 00:09:50,293 --> 00:09:52,126 Maybe you should let us help. 249 00:09:52,128 --> 00:09:54,161 Yeah, we could raise the money and surprise him with it. 250 00:09:54,163 --> 00:09:55,329 That's a great idea. 251 00:09:55,331 --> 00:09:57,498 I do fund-raisers at school all the time. 252 00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:58,733 We could have a bake sale. 253 00:09:58,735 --> 00:10:00,534 Maya, this is a donut shop. 254 00:10:00,536 --> 00:10:03,270 It's a seven-day-a-week bake sale. 255 00:10:03,272 --> 00:10:06,107 Right. I'll do a GoFundMe campaign. 256 00:10:06,109 --> 00:10:07,241 I can chip in. 257 00:10:07,243 --> 00:10:09,677 I just made 200 bucks in our office pool. 258 00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:12,713 Every month, we guess how many John Does 259 00:10:12,715 --> 00:10:14,548 will be fished out of the lake. 260 00:10:14,550 --> 00:10:17,105 Six and a half, baby. 261 00:10:20,455 --> 00:10:21,756 Oh, ooh. 262 00:10:21,758 --> 00:10:24,859 I could put on a magic show. 263 00:10:24,861 --> 00:10:27,418 I did one for the Police Foundation benefit. 264 00:10:27,443 --> 00:10:31,386 Yeah, he put on his cape and all the women disappeared. 265 00:10:35,837 --> 00:10:38,472 Thank you, guys. Um, but let's keep this between us. 266 00:10:38,474 --> 00:10:40,975 I mean, you know how Franco gets. Huh? 267 00:10:40,977 --> 00:10:43,310 - Hey, let me get in on this. - No, that's all right, Tush. 268 00:10:43,312 --> 00:10:44,412 We know you've been strapped lately. 269 00:10:44,414 --> 00:10:46,013 Hardly. I've been invited 270 00:10:46,015 --> 00:10:48,416 to do a clinical trial of antidepression drugs. 271 00:10:48,418 --> 00:10:49,950 They test them on humans 272 00:10:49,952 --> 00:10:53,080 because monkeys are too stupid to sign the waiver. 273 00:10:54,724 --> 00:10:56,391 But not this guy. 274 00:11:01,296 --> 00:11:03,931 Maya, nice work on the can. 275 00:11:05,770 --> 00:11:08,469 Where'd you get such a sad picture of Franco? 276 00:11:08,471 --> 00:11:11,839 I might've Photoshopped some baby seal eyes on him. 277 00:11:11,841 --> 00:11:13,240 Ah. 278 00:11:13,242 --> 00:11:16,577 And put his head on the body of Tiny Tim. 279 00:11:16,579 --> 00:11:19,013 Well, here is my contribution. 280 00:11:19,015 --> 00:11:21,182 Oh, Fawz, I'm impressed. 281 00:11:21,184 --> 00:11:22,883 Oh, it's just pocket change. 282 00:11:22,885 --> 00:11:25,286 From the pockets of the people that drop off their clothes 283 00:11:25,288 --> 00:11:26,587 at my dry cleaners. 284 00:11:27,590 --> 00:11:30,459 Minus the quarters, of course. 285 00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:33,327 Hey, guys? 286 00:11:33,329 --> 00:11:35,463 Anybody there? 287 00:11:35,465 --> 00:11:36,931 Tush, what's wrong? 288 00:11:36,933 --> 00:11:38,799 Oh, turns out that drug's 289 00:11:38,801 --> 00:11:40,701 not quite ready for the marketplace. 290 00:11:40,703 --> 00:11:43,544 I'm experiencing some temporary blindness. 291 00:11:43,569 --> 00:11:46,340 And nausea and enlarged breasts. 292 00:11:47,196 --> 00:11:50,277 Which sucks because I'm too blind to check 'em out. 293 00:11:50,279 --> 00:11:53,414 But, for Franco, it's all worth it. 294 00:11:53,416 --> 00:11:55,349 Okay. Thanks, Tush. 295 00:11:55,351 --> 00:11:57,284 Oh, this is amazing. 296 00:11:57,286 --> 00:11:59,553 We have almost $800. 297 00:11:59,555 --> 00:12:01,322 I'm gonna match it with yesterday's take. 298 00:12:01,324 --> 00:12:02,890 We had a good day. 299 00:12:02,892 --> 00:12:04,592 The president made a speech. 300 00:12:04,594 --> 00:12:06,416 There was a lot of stress-eating. 301 00:12:07,929 --> 00:12:09,363 We're almost at our goal. 302 00:12:09,365 --> 00:12:11,465 Let's keep passing the can around. 303 00:12:13,101 --> 00:12:15,469 Care to make a donation for our injured friend? 304 00:12:15,471 --> 00:12:16,704 Sorry. 305 00:12:16,706 --> 00:12:18,339 Put ten dollars in that can, 306 00:12:18,341 --> 00:12:20,441 or I'll give you a $60 ticket. 307 00:12:20,443 --> 00:12:22,176 Your van's parked in the red. 308 00:12:22,178 --> 00:12:23,844 It's just a little bit in there. 309 00:12:23,846 --> 00:12:25,248 That's what my ex said. 310 00:12:26,849 --> 00:12:29,850 Nine months later, we had a kid. 311 00:12:33,089 --> 00:12:34,688 Sorry I'm late. 312 00:12:34,690 --> 00:12:38,425 My soup ladle got caught in an escalator. 313 00:12:39,494 --> 00:12:42,363 Poor bastard. Make it $20. 314 00:12:43,285 --> 00:12:44,402 What was that? 315 00:12:44,427 --> 00:12:45,809 Well, you weren't supposed 316 00:12:45,834 --> 00:12:47,134 to find out about it yet, but, uh... 317 00:12:47,136 --> 00:12:49,336 Surprise! 318 00:12:50,405 --> 00:12:52,006 What is that? 319 00:12:52,008 --> 00:12:53,974 We took a collection. There should be enough there 320 00:12:53,976 --> 00:12:55,409 to cover your medical costs. 321 00:12:55,411 --> 00:12:57,278 Everyone contributed, even Fawz. 322 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:58,913 Yes, and because we are friends, 323 00:12:58,915 --> 00:13:00,971 you can pay me back whenever you want. 324 00:13:03,526 --> 00:13:05,553 He's not paying you back. 325 00:13:05,555 --> 00:13:09,223 Okay. Then you will owe me a favor. 326 00:13:09,225 --> 00:13:11,592 Forget it. I'm not taking your money. 327 00:13:11,594 --> 00:13:12,560 Why not? 328 00:13:12,562 --> 00:13:14,562 Because I'm not some damn charity case. 329 00:13:14,564 --> 00:13:16,230 This is embarrassing, man... 330 00:13:16,232 --> 00:13:18,346 You Photoshopped my head on Oliver Twist. 331 00:13:20,869 --> 00:13:22,603 It's actually Tiny Tim. 332 00:13:22,605 --> 00:13:26,607 Who cares? Stop putting my face on sad British boys! 333 00:13:26,609 --> 00:13:28,509 Oh, come on, kid. Stop being so proud. 334 00:13:28,511 --> 00:13:31,045 - We're just trying to help you. - Well, don't! 335 00:13:31,047 --> 00:13:33,047 I already told you. I didn't need your help. 336 00:13:33,049 --> 00:13:35,349 And you did it anyway. Well, let me tell you something. 337 00:13:35,351 --> 00:13:37,518 I've been taking care of myself since I was 16, 338 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,587 and I've been doing just fine. 339 00:13:39,589 --> 00:13:42,723 Now if you'll excuse me, I got to get to work. 340 00:13:45,728 --> 00:13:49,430 See you. 341 00:13:49,432 --> 00:13:52,566 Later. 342 00:13:52,568 --> 00:13:54,468 Almost there. 343 00:13:54,470 --> 00:13:56,403 Is he still storming out? 344 00:13:56,405 --> 00:13:58,389 Let me know when we can talk about him. 345 00:14:05,934 --> 00:14:06,879 Morning. 346 00:14:06,904 --> 00:14:08,543 Hey, Tush, you can see again. 347 00:14:08,739 --> 00:14:10,105 Yep. My eyes are fine. 348 00:14:10,107 --> 00:14:11,807 Having a few short-term memory problems, 349 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:14,794 my eyes are fine. 350 00:14:17,396 --> 00:14:20,082 Just having a few short-term memory problems. 351 00:14:21,051 --> 00:14:23,777 Thanks. 352 00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:26,516 Are you kidding? Where the hell did you get that thing? 353 00:14:26,541 --> 00:14:28,566 Well, you know that hospital supply store on Foster Avenue? 354 00:14:28,591 --> 00:14:30,125 Yeah. Yeah, there's a junkyard next door, 355 00:14:30,127 --> 00:14:31,593 and somebody just threw this away. 356 00:14:31,595 --> 00:14:33,443 Oh, for God's sake! 357 00:14:33,468 --> 00:14:34,935 You can't do your job in that thing. 358 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,304 Yes, I can. All right? 359 00:14:38,569 --> 00:14:40,836 And I wouldn't be here if I didn't need the money. 360 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:42,338 Now, who wants some coffee? 361 00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:44,445 I could use one, young man. 362 00:14:44,470 --> 00:14:47,109 All right. Coming right up. What's up, man? 363 00:14:48,078 --> 00:14:50,913 All right. Yeah... 364 00:14:50,915 --> 00:14:52,948 Here we go. 365 00:14:53,377 --> 00:14:54,717 Cup of coffee. 366 00:14:55,346 --> 00:14:56,585 Cup of joe. 367 00:14:57,190 --> 00:14:58,393 All right. 368 00:15:02,058 --> 00:15:03,992 Oh, I am so sorry, Tush. 369 00:15:03,994 --> 00:15:05,694 - Tush, you all right? - Yep. 370 00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:07,350 I don't feel a thing. 371 00:15:08,842 --> 00:15:09,698 Here's a list of side effects. 372 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,463 Would you call this numbness 373 00:15:11,488 --> 00:15:13,496 or "loss of feeling in extremities"? 374 00:15:14,238 --> 00:15:15,831 Hey, would you give me that thing? 375 00:15:15,856 --> 00:15:17,072 I mean, you, you're gonna kill somebody. 376 00:15:17,074 --> 00:15:18,507 I'm sorry, man. 377 00:15:19,876 --> 00:15:22,111 Hi, I'll take a pound of pistachios, please. 378 00:15:22,113 --> 00:15:25,747 What the hell are you talking... Oh, geez. "Superior Nuts." 379 00:15:25,772 --> 00:15:26,882 No, this is a donut shop, I'm sorry. 380 00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,384 So no pistachios? 381 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:30,974 Uh, here. Take a Crunchy Munchie, 382 00:15:30,999 --> 00:15:32,193 you can lick the nuts off 'em. 383 00:15:34,357 --> 00:15:36,792 I can't believe I forgot to take care of that sign. 384 00:15:37,481 --> 00:15:38,261 What are you doing? 385 00:15:38,286 --> 00:15:39,832 Yo, Arthur, we talked about this, man. 386 00:15:39,857 --> 00:15:41,339 You are too old to be climbing that ladder. 387 00:15:41,364 --> 00:15:43,230 Yeah, let one of us do it. 388 00:15:43,351 --> 00:15:46,719 I'd volunteer, but I might be suffering from dizziness 389 00:15:46,721 --> 00:15:49,008 or "irregular periods." 390 00:15:50,524 --> 00:15:52,257 I don't need help. I've been climbing this ladder 391 00:15:52,259 --> 00:15:54,382 for 40 years. I'm fine. 392 00:15:55,524 --> 00:15:58,430 - Yo! What's wrong? - It's my back. I can't move. 393 00:15:58,432 --> 00:16:00,032 - Okay, well, come here. - I got you. No, I can't move. 394 00:16:00,034 --> 00:16:01,734 - I got you, come here. - No. Oh, okay. 395 00:16:01,736 --> 00:16:03,569 - All right. It's okay. - Ow, ow, ow. 396 00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:05,204 - It's okay. It's all right. - Ow, ow. 397 00:16:05,206 --> 00:16:06,405 Ow, my foot! 398 00:16:06,407 --> 00:16:07,439 Ow, my back! 399 00:16:07,441 --> 00:16:09,375 Ow! 400 00:16:09,377 --> 00:16:10,399 Ow! 401 00:16:10,424 --> 00:16:11,524 Hot coffee! 402 00:16:13,813 --> 00:16:16,011 I guess that numbness was temporary! 403 00:16:16,751 --> 00:16:18,283 Oh, for God's sake. 404 00:16:18,285 --> 00:16:21,286 Uh, this is Officer DeLuca at Superior Donuts. 405 00:16:21,288 --> 00:16:23,555 We need an ambulance for, um... 406 00:16:23,557 --> 00:16:26,125 You know, there's really no code for this. 407 00:16:26,127 --> 00:16:28,627 Just come. 408 00:16:30,234 --> 00:16:32,999 Might be a muscle thing, might be a slipped disc. 409 00:16:33,070 --> 00:16:35,342 At your age, we should get you to the hospital for an MRI... 410 00:16:35,367 --> 00:16:37,105 No. No, no, no. No hospital. 411 00:16:37,107 --> 00:16:38,264 No hos... Look, I'm fine, huh? 412 00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:39,709 I can walk. 413 00:16:39,835 --> 00:16:42,469 I just don't feel like walking right this minute. 414 00:16:42,471 --> 00:16:44,004 Why don't you go check on Franco? 415 00:16:44,006 --> 00:16:45,672 Man, he's the one that needs it. 416 00:16:49,582 --> 00:16:51,816 Hmm. I see you ran out of white people. 417 00:16:55,250 --> 00:16:57,503 Arthur, go to the hospital. 418 00:16:57,528 --> 00:16:58,613 No, no, no, nope. 419 00:16:58,660 --> 00:17:00,259 Don't like hospitals, don't like doctors. 420 00:17:00,261 --> 00:17:01,361 Well, why not? 421 00:17:01,363 --> 00:17:02,962 Because at my age, they start poking around, 422 00:17:02,964 --> 00:17:05,832 and they find one little thing, and they want more tests, 423 00:17:05,834 --> 00:17:08,301 and the next thing you know, you never leave. 424 00:17:08,803 --> 00:17:09,584 Don't you think 425 00:17:09,609 --> 00:17:11,021 you're getting a little ahead of yourself? 426 00:17:11,053 --> 00:17:11,949 Oh, am I? 427 00:17:11,973 --> 00:17:14,107 Everybody around here thinks I'm too old. 428 00:17:14,109 --> 00:17:16,275 Oh, Arthur, they don't think that. 429 00:17:16,277 --> 00:17:17,779 They know it. 430 00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:20,146 All right, rest up. 431 00:17:20,148 --> 00:17:22,215 I'm gonna go check on Franco. 432 00:17:22,217 --> 00:17:24,384 Dude, I'm telling you, man, I don't need to go to a hospital. 433 00:17:24,386 --> 00:17:26,085 And I'm telling you your foot is broken. 434 00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:27,110 And you need a cast 435 00:17:27,135 --> 00:17:29,821 - that's not made out of a Cathy cartoon. - Man. 436 00:17:29,846 --> 00:17:31,126 Go check on Arthur. 437 00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:32,525 He's the one who needs the help. 438 00:17:32,527 --> 00:17:34,961 What am I supposed to do, DeLuca? 439 00:17:34,963 --> 00:17:36,829 I can't force them to get into the ambulance. 440 00:17:36,831 --> 00:17:39,098 I know. They're both so stubborn. 441 00:17:39,207 --> 00:17:42,375 The only thing they agree on is that the other one needs help. 442 00:17:42,377 --> 00:17:45,144 Oh, I got an idea. 443 00:17:45,146 --> 00:17:47,413 So... 444 00:17:48,549 --> 00:17:51,134 Franco is still refusing to go to the hospital. 445 00:17:51,159 --> 00:17:52,885 Oh, that stubborn son of a bitch. 446 00:17:52,887 --> 00:17:55,488 I know, I know. 447 00:17:55,490 --> 00:17:57,590 You know, here's the thing. 448 00:17:57,592 --> 00:17:59,492 If you go in the ambulance, 449 00:17:59,494 --> 00:18:02,395 maybe we can get him to go and look after you. 450 00:18:02,397 --> 00:18:03,596 - You think? - Yeah. 451 00:18:03,598 --> 00:18:04,864 He worries about you. 452 00:18:04,866 --> 00:18:07,033 Oh, and you know what would really convince him? 453 00:18:07,035 --> 00:18:09,368 If you play up that "old and feeble" thing. 454 00:18:09,370 --> 00:18:10,503 Um, I... 455 00:18:10,505 --> 00:18:13,840 - I could try. - Yeah. 456 00:18:13,842 --> 00:18:15,942 And then, you know, when you're at the hospital, 457 00:18:15,944 --> 00:18:18,744 I bet you could get him to x-ray that damn foot. 458 00:18:18,746 --> 00:18:19,912 Yeah. 459 00:18:19,914 --> 00:18:21,156 He-he looks up to me. 460 00:18:21,181 --> 00:18:23,115 Oh, yes. 461 00:18:23,117 --> 00:18:24,350 He does. 462 00:18:24,352 --> 00:18:27,653 You're like his white, magical Negro. 463 00:18:29,957 --> 00:18:31,900 You know, I've thought that. 464 00:18:33,799 --> 00:18:35,094 I'm gonna go talk to Franco. 465 00:18:35,096 --> 00:18:36,195 - Yeah. - Yeah. 466 00:18:36,197 --> 00:18:37,630 Okay. 467 00:18:39,100 --> 00:18:41,434 So, I don't know what to do. 468 00:18:41,436 --> 00:18:43,069 I can't get Arthur 469 00:18:43,071 --> 00:18:44,470 to go to the hospital. 470 00:18:44,472 --> 00:18:46,352 That stubborn son of a bitch. 471 00:18:47,075 --> 00:18:48,941 I know. 472 00:18:48,943 --> 00:18:51,344 I think he's afraid of doctors. 473 00:18:51,346 --> 00:18:54,313 You know, it's scary when you get to be old. 474 00:18:54,315 --> 00:18:56,148 Look at him. 475 00:18:56,150 --> 00:18:59,952 Oh! Damn my brittle bones. 476 00:18:59,954 --> 00:19:01,821 You see? 477 00:19:01,823 --> 00:19:02,922 Now, I think 478 00:19:02,924 --> 00:19:05,992 he would go if you went to keep him company. 479 00:19:05,994 --> 00:19:07,927 - Yeah? - Yeah. 480 00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:09,228 He needs an MRI, 481 00:19:09,230 --> 00:19:10,630 and it might ease his fears 482 00:19:10,632 --> 00:19:13,566 if you were getting... I don't know... an x-ray? 483 00:19:13,568 --> 00:19:14,967 We have the money. 484 00:19:14,969 --> 00:19:16,269 I don't know, Randy. 485 00:19:16,271 --> 00:19:17,570 I don't like taking from people. 486 00:19:17,572 --> 00:19:19,772 You know, I don't like having to owe them. 487 00:19:19,774 --> 00:19:21,374 Well, think about it this way. 488 00:19:21,376 --> 00:19:23,175 The money's not gonna help you. 489 00:19:23,177 --> 00:19:25,544 The money's gonna help Arthur. 490 00:19:25,546 --> 00:19:28,381 All right, well, since you put it that way... 491 00:19:28,383 --> 00:19:29,982 Cool. All right. 492 00:19:29,984 --> 00:19:31,017 Great. 493 00:19:31,019 --> 00:19:32,218 Yo, Arthur, 494 00:19:32,220 --> 00:19:34,954 who wants to go on an ambulance ride? 495 00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:39,091 Only if you go with me. 496 00:19:39,093 --> 00:19:40,226 I mean, who knows 497 00:19:40,228 --> 00:19:43,045 when the Grim Reaper will call my name? 498 00:19:44,998 --> 00:19:47,800 - Take it down a notch, Pacino. - Yeah. 499 00:19:54,802 --> 00:19:56,661 Hey, what'd I tell you kids 500 00:19:56,686 --> 00:20:00,140 about using those things in the house? 501 00:20:00,142 --> 00:20:01,565 Nah, we're about to send a message 502 00:20:01,590 --> 00:20:03,043 to those Blessed Heart girls. 503 00:20:03,045 --> 00:20:04,542 This is our corner. The block is hot. 504 00:20:04,567 --> 00:20:05,511 Blap, blap! 505 00:20:05,536 --> 00:20:07,080 Yo, homes. 506 00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:08,948 We're going to chop 'em down with our water gats. 507 00:20:08,950 --> 00:20:10,726 Huh? Am I a thug? Was that hard? 508 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,650 It was hard to listen to. 509 00:20:12,954 --> 00:20:14,882 Well, I'm glad you're both feeling better. 510 00:20:14,907 --> 00:20:17,132 Yeah, thanks to my brand new cast. 511 00:20:17,157 --> 00:20:18,792 And I appreciate that, y'all. 512 00:20:18,794 --> 00:20:21,628 Growing up, I didn't have a lot of people I could depend on, 513 00:20:21,630 --> 00:20:24,273 and I got used to doing everything by myself. 514 00:20:24,298 --> 00:20:26,235 Well, get over it. You've got a roomful of people 515 00:20:26,260 --> 00:20:27,659 you can depend on. 516 00:20:27,836 --> 00:20:29,869 Thank you. 517 00:20:29,871 --> 00:20:31,738 That was beautiful. 518 00:20:31,740 --> 00:20:34,483 Wish those monkey drugs hadn't dried up my tear ducts. 519 00:20:36,912 --> 00:20:37,717 Here they come. 520 00:20:37,742 --> 00:20:39,139 They're talking about geometry 521 00:20:39,164 --> 00:20:41,278 and a dreamy boy named Trevor. 522 00:20:41,303 --> 00:20:42,591 Show them no mercy! 523 00:20:43,552 --> 00:20:45,067 Hello, ladies. 524 00:20:45,092 --> 00:20:47,020 And I hope you know how to swim. 525 00:20:47,045 --> 00:20:48,867 - Oy. - Ow. 526 00:20:48,898 --> 00:20:49,781 - Oy. - Ow. 527 00:20:49,805 --> 00:20:50,710 - Oy. - Ow. 528 00:20:50,734 --> 00:20:51,636 Oy. 529 00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:57,464 Oy vay.