- If there has been one business venture this year
that has sparked water cooler conversation,
it is without a doubt, LYTE,
the pharmaceutical enterprise
that promises a fast road to enlightenment
without years of a spiritual practice.
Joining us today are Dory Sief,
the messianic face of LYTE,
and Tunnel Quinn,
the innovative billionaire who took a chance on her.
LYTE's current valuation is $5 billion,
growing rapidly every day.
Dory Sief, Tunnel Quinn,
congratulations.
You are makin' the Big Bucks.
How are you?
- I am whole, and I am joyful.
How are you?
- Fine. So let's get into it.
A lot of people are criticizing the viability of your company,
particularly rumors swirling around your pharmaceutical team
not releasing recent research to the FDA.
- We are trying to accomplish something
that has never been done before.
So the steps work a little differently.
We have a great relationship with the FDA.
And we are working together to ensure
that this pill is safe and effective.
- Well, I gotta say,
I-I think that the whole future looks...
promising. - Wow.
The "New York Times" called your company a cult
with snake oil.
What do you say to that?
- Well, I'd be lying if I said
we didn't expect that.
You have to understand this venture is a marriage
between science and spirituality.
And when you bring existential matters into fields
that are dominated by big pharma and big business,
they're going to see that as a threat.
And that's fine.
You know, it's natural
to challenge movements that pursue truth.
- If I had an ounce of what she had when I was coming up.
- Now, recently social media coming from LYTE headquarters
have, um, images
and videos of employees
with chemical burns on their foreheads.
This controversy has made its way overseas.
The Duchess Leonora Hamsdale's royal estate
has made their anxieties known through a recent video.
So now let's take a look.
- Leo, my love,
please come home.
Come home to mummy and grandmummy
and all our staff.
I'd like to think that we brought you up
better than this,
to go and burn your beautiful face.
- Vile behavior.
- Well, how does that make you feel seeing that?
- I understand why some people might be put off
by the unusual spirit of my workplace.
But what other people think of us is none of our business.
- Wow. I wish you two
the very best of luck in your noble
but polarizing pursuit.
Thanks for coming on.
- Be blessed.
[bell rings]
- That was great. Yeah.
- And jeez, Dory, you are--
you are a natural.
Hey, this week, uh, you know,
with the Hamsdale chaos going on,
I think I should, uh, swing by the institute
and make my presence be felt and pop my head in--
- [groans]
- Oh, my--
are you okay?
[light dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- I haven't been feeling well lately.
- Um, well, you could have somebody look at you.
[Purity Ring's "Obedear"]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Oh, but dear, the sky is low ♪
♪ Fluent sea men rig their rudders ♪
[country music playing]
♪ ♪
- Hello?
♪ ♪
[bell rings] Oh.
Hi.
- Checking in?
- Uh, actually, no. Um...
Sort of have a strange question.
Um, I'm looking for someone.
Uh, I don't know her name,
but she attacked a friend of mine.
I just wanna know what she knows about her.
Uh, she might be connected
to something called the Jesper Society.
[ominous music]
- What did you just say?
- The Jesper Socie--
- Shh! - Yeah.
♪ ♪
- How do you know about that?
- Um...
well, she attacked my friend with this.
♪ ♪
- Oh, my God.
- What?
♪ ♪
What's--what's going on?
♪ ♪
[line rings, picks up]
- Annabelle,
we have to get the group back together.
It's happening again.
♪ ♪
- [quietly] What's happening again?
- Hey, everyone.
I am coming on to respond to some mixed feedback
I've been getting ever since myself
and my LYTE community decided to make a bold statement
in altering our faces to support our cause.
First of all, no one forced me to do this.
This was completely my choice, and I stand by it.
- For, like, centuries people have shown their dedication
to causes in all kinds of ways.
- I feel bad for anyone who's been stuck
with their same old forehead their whole life.
- I no longer consider
the Grand Duchess and Archduchess my family.
Family has your back
no matter what color your forehead is.
- I actually think I'm on the right track here.
So you're enlightened
because you had a near death experience, right?
- Mm-hmm. - So my first thought was
to recreate that experience.
- Exactly. - Anyways,
I remembered something interesting.
When I was little and in the summer
I would go my grandma's house,
and there were these awful little bugs
called Phoenix Beetles.
And they have something called Biological Thanatosis,
which means that they can literally die
for a few seconds as a survival tactic
and then come back to life.
And I couldn't help but wonder
if something like that would be possible in humans.
Does that sound crazy?
- Ritchie, that is brilliant.
- Yes! Yes! - That is gre--that's insane.
- So if we bind the Phoenix Beetle enzymes
with the euphoric neurochemicals,
we could create a... big bang.
Hold these for me, love.
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God! - Oh, sorry.
My hands seem to be a little too numb to hold on to things.
- [chuckles] - Don't worry, honey.
The visuals are just a learning tool.
You get the gist. - Okay.
- Well, this is exciting. - [chuckles]
- There's just one hiccup. - Hmm?
- Which is that I need access
to the biological samples to isolate the enzymes,
and I know the lab upstairs has a huge library of samples,
but ever since we used their chemicals to burn our foreheads
they've required a special pharma clearance.
- Mm, that sucks.
- Wait, El. - What's up?
- Doesn't Dr. Carpet have pharma clearance?
Maybe he could help us, you know, gather some supplies.
- I don't know. I don't know.
Yeah, because, um,
he's actually going through, like, a really nasty divorce.
Yeah, his wife cheated on him
with, um, his own parents.
- Oh. - Yeah, it's fucking perverted.
Yeah, so I just don't think he's in a place right now
where we could ask him to do us a favor, you know.
Is there any other way? Any other way.
- [chuckles] Without the sample,
it could take us years to get that shipped.
And it's not easy to come by, Elliott.
- Okay.
- All right, well, maybe I need to talk to him.
- No!
Sorry. Sorry.
I'm just very protective of my relationship with Dr. Carpet.
So why don't I just feel it out with him, test the waters.
Happy to do it. - Okay.
Wonderful. - Cool.
- Wonderful. Wonderful. Wonderful.
[exhales]
- Okay. I did it!
My hand's burning from whatever the liquid is,
but I did it.
- So is the Jesper thing connected to my friend Dory?
'Cause I-I just wanna find out who the woman is.
That's all I--
[knocking on door]
- Annabelle.
- John.
[light dramatic music]
Oh.
You look exactly the same.
- I called the others.
♪ ♪
- So you're the one.
- Yeah. Well, I-I guess so.
I'm really just trying to find out some more information
about this woman who stabbed my friend.
[knocking on door]
- Oh, my word.
- Wally Winhead, is it really you?
- It sure is.
- What happened to the rest of you?
- Personal trainer and a Wall Street salary.
- Good on you. Good on-- [knocking on door]
- Anybody order a 50-year-old knish?
- [chuckles] Oh! - Wow.
Always a kidder, right?
Come here. - Annabelle.
- No. Yeah. No.
No, no. Hey. Hey.
So, hey-uh! Uh!
Sorry, I just need your help for...a minute.
I just have a very simple question.
I'm just trying to track down the woman who owned this.
- [gasps] - Holy Toledo.
- He's back. - Oh, no, no.
- W-who? Jes--Jesper?
- Shh! - [lisping] Thith ith bad.
Thith ith bad.
My lithp, ith back.
After 30 years. Ith back.
- It's him. It's him.
What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?
- All right. All right.
Don't get hysterical. We're gonna be okay.
- Well, I have a family. I can't get them involved.
♪ ♪
- You have a family?
- I do.
- Just, can someone tell me what's happening, or--
What is this?
♪ ♪
- We all have them.
- Jesper Society.
- I thought this was over.
- Well, apparently he's found a new host.
- Okay, so the woman who stabbed my friend,
she had this. - [gasps]
- [lisping] Matilda. Sthe sthould be here.
- I called her. She did not pick up.
- What is-- what's Matilda's last name?
- [lisping] I can't do thith.
I'm not sthrong. I can't do it. Not again.
- Paully. - I can't.
- Paully!
Don't get scared, Paully.
That's what the Jesper wants.
Fear is what it feeds on.
- What's Matilda's last name, though?
Could someone just please, maybe, before the Jesper comes
or whatever, we could get Matilda's last name out.
- [sighs]
Guy--
- In 1981,
this town was under siege by...
the Jesper.
And only five children could see him.
And we banded together to fight.
- I don't--I don't-- I don't care!
So would somebody here please for the love of God
just tell me what is Matilda's last name?
all: Lombardo.
- Lombardo.
Thank you.
Jesus Christ.
Why was that the hardest thing I've ever had to do
in my entire life?
It is so late now!
[sighs]
Matilda...Lombardo.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
That was Dory's asylum.
♪ ♪
- [vomiting and coughing]
[spits]
Ugh.
- Portia, I'm really sick.
- Oh, I know, sweetie. I know.
It seems like you just have a really bad bug.
♪ Every morning, every evening ♪
♪ Oh, we got fun ♪
- [vomiting]
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Well, well, well. Look who's back.
- Hi, Benny.
- You didn't show up.
- I know.
I'm sorry.
- Meet at the fountain at midnight.
That's what we agreed on.
Do you know how stupid I felt?
- I'm all fucked up. I'm a mess.
I'm a bastard. A dog.
- Then you come in here to my lab.
I may never see my children again.
- I--
I do...
want to be with you.
Dr. Benny.
- Damn it, I can't resist you.
[both moaning]
Let's go to the airport.
Tonight.
Let's change our lives together.
- Okay. Yes.
I absolutely agree to that.
[sultry percussive music]
If I were the Phoenix Beetle samples, where would I be?
- What?
- Kiss me.
♪ ♪
[door opens, shuts]
- You got it. Yay!
- Okay, that is all there is. There is no more.
And Dr. Carpet is no longer willing to cooperate.
I think he's gonna kill himself.
[upbeat music]
- [squeals happily]
- ♪ Give you a minute ♪
♪ Give you an age ♪
♪ And when I write the book ♪
♪ You could be on the front page ♪
♪ This is the start ♪
♪ ♪
♪ This is the start ♪
♪ ♪
♪ This is the start ♪
♪ ♪
- ♪ This is the start ♪
♪ ♪
- ♪ This is the start ♪
♪ ♪
♪ This is the start ♪
♪ ♪
♪ This is the start ♪
♪ ♪
♪ This is the start ♪
♪ ♪
- Hello. - Hi.
- Visitor
or checking yourself in?
- Neither, actually.
I was wondering if I could meet
with Dr. Philip Lombardo?
- What did you wanna meet with Dr. Lombardo about?
- Uh, it's about his connection to a friend and colleague.
Her name's Dory Sief, she was a patient here.
- I don't wanna lose my job
so I'm gonna need you to leave.
- I'm sorry, what?
- Please get out right now. - Okay.
- Go. - You're serious?
- Get out. Just get out! - Okay. Yeah, yeah.
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Go! Now!
- Hey. I-- [chuckles] Is there somebody else
that maybe I could speak to about this?
- Yo, man, you need to listen to her.
Okay?
- Okay, yeah.
♪ ♪
[sigh]
Ahh!
- You're Drew Gardner?
- Yes.
- You are in great danger.
- I'm sorry, what?
- Dory Sief is not well.
- What?
- It is my personal opinion
that she should not be allowed
to roam about the world
freely influencing the minds of others.
- Are you Dr. Lombardo?
- No, I'm Dr. Flesh.
Dr. Lombardo was her primary psychologist.
Dr. Lombardo took his own life.
And it is my belief that Ms. Sief encouraged him
to do so in pursuit of some enlightened resurrection.
But there's no coming back from death.
We were all fascinated by her.
I masturbated to her a few times, but--
- What? No. Why would--no!
- One thing I do feel certain of
is that her particular conviction
in a higher existence
does not make her the guru that people believe she is.
This delusional spirituality
is nothing more than schizotypal traits.
- What should I do?
- If she isn't stopped,
she will continue to destroy.
♪ ♪
Yeah, take this.
She made it.
This is what it's like inside her head.
She believes the world is coming to a brutal
apocalyptic ending,
unless she can stop it.
And also,
don't tell anyone I gave that to you
or said any of this.
It's simply inappropriate of me.
- Hey, hey. Wait! Wait a--
[dramatic music]
Oh, holy hell.
♪ ♪
That's the LYTE logo.
♪ ♪
- So I'm not exactly sure what this means,
but I feel like it could be a good sign.
You see this guy here?
- Yeah.
- This is Gemini.
And you may notice now that he's dead.
But if you look at the brain scan,
you'll see something promising.
Right after he died, his brain was flooded with neurochemicals
here, here, here, and here,
which I hope is in alignment with what you experienced.
This guy didn't make it out.
So I'm hoping that I can tweak the formula
so that his brain chemistry enacts with the beetle enzymes,
and hoping that it could work.
- Oh, that's exciting. Ooh.
- Honey, y-you're bleeding.
Do you need a tissue? - What?
Thank you.
- Have you considered the possibility
that you're being poisoned?
You're exhibiting all of the symptoms.
- Poisoned?
♪ ♪
[Velcro ripping]
- Here sweetie pie.
Hopefully this helps.
- Aw, thank you, Portia.
So good of you to be by my side.
- Of course. - Okay, Dory,
so we're sending your blood samples to the lab
for a more thorough report, but your urine test
does indicate a very high toxicity level.
- So what does that mean?
- It means that you've been exposed to chemicals
that are seriously compromising your immune system.
I can tell you
that you've been interacting with something toxic,
and I would suspect it's been a routine exposure,
given how extreme this test result is.
- Oh, my God.
So she, like, has been poisoned?
- I would imagine so.
People in your position often are.
[ominous music]
♪ ♪
[pop music playing]
- Okay, a little more butt.
Nice. Oh, shake it.
♪ ♪
- Dory, do you need help with something?
♪ ♪
- Whose bag is this?
- Oh, that's mine.
Do you need, like, a tampon
or a Ludens or something?
[tense music]
♪ ♪
[squeaking]
- Hello?
♪ ♪
Gemini?
Oh, my God.
You're alive.
I can't believe it.
♪ ♪
- Whoa. Okay, be careful.
This crystal's very fragile. I--
- Don't touch any of this!
Don't. Back away.
- Dory, is everything okay?
♪ ♪
[mouse squeals] - [gasps]
- Something very bad is happening.
Okay, very bad is happening,
and it's so not cool.
- What is happening?
- Someone is poisoning Dory,
and it's probably one of you.
- One of us? Who would do that?
- Hmm, I don't know.
With questions like that,
wouldn't be surprised if it was you, Marty.
- I would never. - Oh, shut up.
♪ ♪
- Wait. Where'd you go?
Gemini!
- Whose is this?
- It's mine.
♪ ♪
- What is this?
- Makeup remover.
♪ ♪
- Text me back, damn it.
I love you.
♪ ♪
Ah!
- Whoever did this
is seriously, like, going to jail.
This is not a joke.
This is a complete and total deal breaker.
♪ ♪
It's insane.
I can't believe that someone
would even consider doing this.
One of the more horrific things I've even ever thought about.
What?
Dory, you already doing-- I'm ticklish!
Stop! Okay, Dor. Dor.
You know I'm ticklish! Stop!
♪ ♪
- Oh, my God.
♪ ♪
- What is this?
- What is that?
- Why do you have this?
♪ ♪
Why do you have this?
- [screaming]
- And what kind of woman
are you looking for today?
- Well, uh, I'll tell you,
here's the deal, I-I'm having kind of a bad day.
So I want to employ your services.
It's just the usual, nothing physical.
Um, you know, I lay down on the ground,
as I've said before, and they form
a circle around me and throw out the compliments.
Generally, bucking me up, you know.
- Of course. - Who did this to me?
One of you did this to me.
One of you put this in my pocket.
- Portia,
tell me the truth.
- No, Dory, I am! I am!
I didn't do it, I swear to God, Dory.
It was one of you guys. One of you!
Who did it? Who put it in my pocket?
- Wait.
Did you poison her, Portia?
- [gasps]
I would--
Kidding? I would never poison Dory.
We're, like--I'm like--
we're, like, soulmates,
and we're, like, so happy and in love
and having the best fucking sex of our lives.
- What?
- Portia.
- I swear, I swear, I swear. - I knew it!
I knew it. I knew I couldn't trust you.
- What?
How do you have this?
- I went to the Mayflower Asylum, Dory.
All right, I talked to Dr. Flesh.
He told me everything. He told me that you're crazy,
that you basically killed Dr. Lombardo,
and that I can't trust you.
- Wait, wait, wait. What?
Killed Dr. Lombardo?
Dr. Lombardo is dead? - Yes.
Because you encouraged him to kill himself.
- You don't talk to her like that.
- Shut up! Shut up! Shut the fuck up!
- We are now entering the premises in the hopes
of making contact with our captured daughter.
Beautiful Leonora. - Mummy.
What are you doing here?
Oh, my God.
You're embarrassing me!
Stop making documentaries about me!
- Oh, darling, your--
your destroyed face.
Oh, mummy, this is even worse in person.
- Now, pack your bags.
You are coming with us.
- No, I'm not.
both: Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not. No, I'm not.
- I'm sorry, can somebody please
get these, like, foreign intruders out of here?
- Hey, don't deflect, Portia.
You still owe me an explanation.
- You owe an explanation. - Guys, guys, guys.
[overlapping arguments]
- Dory, Gemini is alive. - What?
- We did it.
We made enlightenment.
[overlapping arguments]
- [laughing maniacally]
[all screaming]
- Um, I don't know why it's so tough to scrape up--
Oh, my goodness.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Close your eyes ♪
♪ God is everywhere at once ♪
♪ Don't you realize ♪
♪ We are the luckiest ones ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Dressed so fine ♪
♪ People wonder who we are ♪
♪ And heaven is all mine ♪