[ Footsteps approaching ]
Dor!
Oh, my God,
you look so cute.
I love that dress.
Hi, gorgeous.
-Hi.
So, Porsh, I think
this is a trap.
What?
I just -- I feel like
they know something
and that this is their twisted
way of, you know, catching us.
Dory, you really think
they would give us the key
to the city
of Chappaqua,
not to praise us,
but to disgrace us?
Babe, I think you're just being
a wee bit paranoid, okay?
I think we should
just be aware, okay?
-Hey.
I'm so sorry.
Marc's coming.
He said he wanted to support me,
and I said "no,"
and he said "why," and I
couldn't come up with a reason.
-That's okay, sweetie.
-Hi!
-Hi.
-Are you gonna be hot?
-Not at all.
I literally couldn't
be more comfortable.
Eee!
This is so exciting!
When I was little,
it was, like, my dream
to be given
the key to the city.
So, childhood-Marc
is freaking out right now.
Marc, you will not be
joining us on that stage,
and I don't want to have
to repeat that again.
Oh! You guys,
it's our car!
We have a "Dory,"
an "Elliott," a "Marc,"
and a "Por-Tia"?
-"Portia."
There should be a
"Drew Gardner" on the list.
-No "Drew."
-I guess he bailed.
-Okay. I mean, that's fine.
-Yeah.
You good?
You have everybody?
Yes, we do. And could you turn
the A/C up just a smidge?
Thank you.
♪ Obedear the sky is low ♪
♪ Watch fluent seamen
rig their rudders ♪
Ooh.
That surprised me.
Officer Hartman?
That's me.
Call me "Joy."
Are you my Mountie?
-Sure am.
Quite a trek up
from New York, isn't it?
Any excuse to get out
of the city, you know?
And I've never visited
Canada before, so...
You want to see
a shallow grave?
-Yes, please.
-All right.
The body was found
stuffed disrespectfully
in a girly suitcase
and buried over here.
He had, uh, blunt trauma
to the head and a broken neck.
We scoured the area,
didn't find much
except a couple of
footprints heading nowhere.
We ran his prints and he
came back as Keith Powell,
private investigator
from New York.
Joy: He has a daughter
and an ex-wife.
God, I hate
telling the family.
-Yeah.
-Anyways...
What is that?
Huh.
"Party Time Shovels."
-Huh.
-We should do some research,
figure out where these
Party Time Shovels
are sold in the area.
Could help us figure out
who killed Keith Powell.
I'm embarrassed
we didn't find that.
Th-That's right there.
♪♪
Welcome to
the green room.
I know it's pink, but it's
actually a green room.
Drew.
Hey.
I didn't think
you were coming.
How did you get here?
Um, yeah, no.
I'm, um, I'm here.
So, hi.
Oh. You are not Drew?
So, who are you?
No, I'm Marc.
So, you're not a hero?
Um, no,
I'm not a hero.
Okay, you can't
be here, then.
Let me find you a spot.
Come with me.
All four heroes
in the green room.
Escorting non-hero
to the ballroom.
...be in here with you?
-I would trust her.
-But, like...
-Just go with her.
-I'll be with her.
-Okay.
-Just...
-We'll check back in...
-Okay.
-...after the...
So, sir, why don't you walk me
through what happened?
Yeah, uh, I was out here, uh,
making love with my wife,
and I look over and I see
this new mound of dirt.
So, I said,
"Excuse me, baby,
while I investigate
that pile of dirt."
So, uh, sure enough,
I find this, uh, man-hand,
and then this
whole man with it.
Would you mind if I spoke
with your wife sometime?
Oh, she's right here.
She's not much of a talker,
but I'll introduce you.
Pine Tree...
this nice lady
is Officer Hartman.
She's very pretty.
Oh, there they are --
the heroes!
-Hi!
-My, don't you all look spiffy.
-Hi.
-Thank you.
Guys, it's overwhelming
how excited everyone
is to meet you.
Oh, thank you
so much for this.
This really is a once-in-a-
lifetime kind of thing --
if that, even.
Well, you saved our little girl.
You saved all of us.
-Aww.
-Well, we'll leave you alone.
I'm sure they're
almost ready for you.
-Mm-hmm.
-Bye, guys.
I mean, come on.
What was that?
-It was fine. It was fine!
-Chantal was being so weird.
She's normally a blabbermouth --
she didn't say a thing!
I know she's hiding
something. I know it!
[Whispering] You left
your hoodie in the car.
Okay.
♪♪
[ Gasps ]
And now, I would like
to introduce
tonight's
guest of honor,
the woman who will be presenting
the key to our heroes.
Chappaqua,
please give...
Are you here as
a friend or press?
I am, uh, writing
a story on Chantal.
Oh. What's your angle
going to be this time?
You think she's lying
about what happened?
Kind of.
...the future state senator
of New York, Mary Ferguson.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Thank you.
Wow. Thank you.
Whoa, Mary Ferguson --
she's amazing.
-Ooh! It's the key.
-I love Chappaqua.
Look, do you see it?
It's the key.
I get to meet a lot
of people doing what I do.
And I get to hear
a lot of stories --
stories that
move me to tears.
There are people
out there doing good
just for the sake
of doing good.
They're just trying to
do the right thing,
whether or not
someone is watching.
You know, they say
"Dance like no one is watching"?
Well, I say "Do good
like no one is watching."
I call people like this
"closet heroes."
And every now and then,
we get to wheel them
out of hiding
and celebrate them.
So, please welcome
our heroes,
Elliott Goss, Portia Davenport,
Drew Gardner, and Dory Seif.
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Loud heartbeat ]
Say something, Dory.
How does it feel
to be a hero?
Dory: Um...
this is
such a big...
key.
[ Scattered laughter ]
Uh, I don't know if I'll ever
find a door big enough for it.
Yeah, thank you.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Thank you.
[ Classical music playing ]
Dory: God, that was
the worst speech ever.
Yeah, I know, but --
Oh, thank you so much.
Perfect timing.
Just try to have fun.
-So, how does it feel?
-Hi, Agnes!
You know, speaking for both
of us, it feels great.
-I find it a little
disrespectful.
-Mm-hmm.
I bend over backwards
to make sure
Chantal has a roof over her head
and a shoulder to cry on.
So where's my Goddamn
key to Chappaqua?
-Yes.
-Look at her.
Everyone thinks she's so brave
for hiding in a sketchy motel?
Please. You've seen my
Aunt Noni's Montreal house.
It's a palace.
I should tell everyone
what really happened.
No. No, no.
Agnes, you're not really
gonna do that, right?
It's, like, over and over again,
these guys let Chantal down,
and who's always there
to wipe away her tears?
I hate that
she does this.
I just do not see
what she sees in Drew.
No offense, Dory.
-No, that's fine.
Oh, and can you please tell him
I want my obelisk back?
-I'm sorry, your what?
-The obelisk? The award.
Aunt Noni's black-marble
interior-design award.
Oh.
Chantal said she saw it
in Drew's apartment,
and I need it back.
Oh.
Okay. Yeah, I'll, um,
I'll talk to him about that.
Okay, fine.
I need another cocktail.
♪♪
It smells like my
grandmother's house.
She was a hoarder.
It made it really
hard to respect her.
[ Sighs ]
Okay. I got a question
for you.
What's that?
How does a man
buy a train ticket,
park his car
at the station,
leave his phone
a thousand miles away,
but wind up here in Montreal
three feet underground
next to a tree
that people have sex with?
You know, I'm really just
here to drive you around.
So, uh, just tell me when you
want to get dinner.
[ Classical music playing ]
I loved your speech.
Oh. Th-Thank you.
I see a really
unusual power in you.
Wow. Um, that means
so much to me,
especially coming
from someone like you.
Can I ask --
what is your lineage?
Um, m-my parents
are from Iraq.
No kidding. I have almost
gone there so many times.
Uh, excuse me.
Wow, I-I am so sorry
to interrupt, Ms. Ferguson.
But I have
been so inspired
by all that you've been
able to accomplish.
And I just want to know --
can I please shake your hand?
Absolutely.
Thank you, young man.
What is your name?
-My name is Julian Marcus.
I'm a friend of Dory's,
and also, a freelance writer.
I'm writing a piece
on Chantal.
Wait, what?
I am never washing
this hand again.
That would upset
the Department of Health.
[ Laughs ]
You're funny!
I was about
to ask your friend
if she would consider
working for my campaign.
We could use a heroic
woman on my team.
-Me?
-Yes, you.
Listen, you two -- I don't have
the patience for B.S. right now.
I have a goal to increase the
diversity on my staff by 30%,
and you both seem
pretty with it.
Am I reading that right?
-Uh, absolutely.
Okay. I'm gonna have
Pamela reach out
and get
the ball rolling.
-Excuse me, Mary? We need you.
-Oh, I have to go.
But it was great
meeting you --
especially the hero.
Such a pleasure
to meet you.
Wow. That was crazy.
So, um, you're writing
a story on Chantal?
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, also, that's what I've been
wanting to talk to you about.
Since you
were there, um...
do you think
Chantal was lying?
About what?
Just, her story
isn't adding up.
I mean, Julian, she's obviously
been through so much, you know?
Obviously, things
are gonna be a little,
you know, mixed up
for her, probably.
Mmm, yeah, I don't think
she's mixed up.
Well, you know, I, for one,
like to see the good in people.
Not everyone's a liar.
So, how long have you
two been together?
-Oh, I'm gay.
-We're boyfriends, actually.
Oh, that's a shame.
You two look so happy together.
I think it's admirable
when people are gay.
It's good.
Yeah. Yeah,
it's good.
Did you...
take the obelisk
from the house in Montreal?
Yeah, well, I took
care of it, all right?
So, it's not your problem.
-Why would you take it?
I don't know, Dory. Maybe
because it's a murder weapon.
Well, now, Agnes is
asking for it back.
Well...
I buried it in a field,
so she can't have it back.
Was that Chantal in your
apartment the other day?
Do you have feelings
for her,
or are you just doing
this to punish me?
Maybe it's just nice
to be around someone
who really likes me.
I really
like you, Drew.
And I miss you.
-Drew!
Come meet
Meemaw Witherbottom.
Hi, Dory.
-Hi.
Come on.
[Quietly]
I'm sorry.
♪♪
And I remember looking
at you and thinking,
"Why is this kid ruining my
daughter's wedding-dress day?"
I hated you.
-Ohh.
-I hated you so much.
Stop.
There's one thing, though,
that I never figured out.
Linda, please.
Who's Keith?
Who's who?
When you came in to the
fitting at the dress shop,
you said there was some guy who
knew something about Chantal.
It's all you could
talk about.
It was, "Keith, Keith,
Keith, Keith, Keith."
[ Stomach rumbling ]
What?
I'm actually
not feeling so great.
I think it might be the
pudding cups from before.
No. I had a lot of
the pudding cups. They're fine.
Elliott, you look like
you've seen a ghost.
Did they tell you
about the ghost
who tickles you
if you stay in suite 13?
It's there. Suite 13.
Linda, let's find you
a floor to lie down on.
Oh, I am
talking, Robert.
Elliott?
Marc, Marc, Marc,
Marc, Marc, Marc.
I have to take a shit right now.
-Elliott, who the hell is Keith?
And don't tell me he's
a conversion therapist again.
Who is he?
-Marc, he's no one, okay?
And she's just drunk.
Just hold my drink.
It's an emergency.
Hold my drink.
-Tell me who he is.
-Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
I need you to tell me
right now.
What is going on?
Who is Keith?
I think -- I think
it's down the hall.
I think it's down the hall.
I don't -- Elliott.
-It's happening.
-What?
-It's happening.
-What?
It's happening
right now.
I can't stop it.
I'm shitting myself.
I just shit myself.
-It's okay.
-Oh, my God.
I'm gonna go to the gift shop
while you wash up,
and I'm gonna do my best
to find something
that matches your gloves.
Go, Marc, go.
I just don't understand
what happened in,
like, the span
of two minutes.
Like, one second,
you're hugging my meemaw,
and the next you're
breaking it off?
Like, what happened
between then and now?
Nothing happened, okay?
It's just, this has been
moving a little fast,
and I don't want to give you
the wrong impression
that this is,
like, a thing.
Well, maybe we can just, like,
take a step back, and, like --
and, like, take it
a little slower?
I think that
you're unbelievable.
I think you're an
amazing person, Chantal.
I really do.
It's not you. Don't...
[Crying]If I'm an
amazing person, then why?
Is it something I did?
Is it something
I'm not doing?
What is it?
Why does this keep
happening to me?!
[ Crying ]
I don't know what to tell you,
except that I'm sorry.
Okay, I'm sorry!
I don't want
to be alone anymore!
[ Sobbing ]
[ Whistles ]
Guys, can we go? I think
we've done our due diligence.
What happened
to your pants?
It was always
my intention
to have a partial
wardrobe change, Portia.
Sorry.
-They asked us to change
on a P.A. system.
-Wait!
You guys are not leaving until
I can get a straight answer
about when I can expect
the obelisk back.
The what?
Uh, the award.
The obelisk-shaped award.
-Ohh.
-Uh...
-Um...
-Agnes, w-we-we're gonna --
-Agnes, I'm sorry.
Um...
I threw it away.
What? Why?
Because, uh...
I'm a kleptomaniac.
Yeah.
I'm -- I'm really
ashamed of it,
and it's hard for me
to admit it.
But when I look at the
obelisk in my house,
I'm reminded
of my problem.
So, I took it,
and I buried it very, very...
very far away.
So, it's gone.
Well, I guess, can you Venmo me
like, $200 or something?
Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.
I will... Sorry.
Dory: So, we'll make sure
you get that,
but it was nice
to see you, so...
Yeah. I'll send
this over.
Always so good
to see you, Agnes.
Also, did you guys break
the doorknob, too?
All: No.
Well, if you didn't, I think
someone may have
broken into the house.
Why would you
think that?
There was a
body found, like,
right near my aunt's house
in the woods.
The whole neighborhood
is freaking out.
What if the killer was,
like, inside the house?
That's so scary.
Do they know
who did it?
No. They have no idea.
Have they identified
the body yet?
I don't know. Wait, why are you
asking so many questions?
Because murder makes people
naturally curious, Agnes!
Oh, my God!
I can't go to jail!
You all know I'll die in jail!
They'll resent
my bone structure,
sparkling personality,
and kill me!
Guys, we are a really
great team. Okay?
So, if we just put our minds
together and think for a second,
we'll --
we'll figure this out.
Drew: Dory.
Why am I getting the feeling
that you're excited right now?
'Cause I feel like you
want things to go bad
so you can go on one of
your little adventures.
Are you serious?
That's insane.
Dory, you dragged us
into this mess for nothing!
Everything you thought
about Chantal was made up!
And now look where we are!
Look where you put us right now!
Okay, it is insane to me
what you can talk yourself into.
I can't believe you're
blaming this all on me,
as if I'm the only one who had
anything to do with this!
Wh-- I -- Because of you!
-We're both at fault!
-We did it because of you!
-Stop fighting right now! Stop!
Okay, what about
Keith's daughter?
She sent that text.
-Yes, trust me.
They have no idea
that we have anything to do
with any of this, okay?
Elliott:
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Why do you sound
so sure?
Because I-I met Deb,
and it--it's all fine.
Who's Deb?
Uh, De-Deb's Keith's --
Keith's ex-wife.
You talked to the family
of the man we killed?
Look, she found me,
okay, and she interrogated me.
She asked me where Keith was,
and I said I didn't know,
and -- and -- and --
and now, it's fine.
Well, shit. Okay,
so she knows he's gone.
No. She's not looking
for him anymore.
No, no, no. You just said
that she contacted you
to see where he was.
That's looking for him!
Right, but she thinks
he's okay now.
Why would she
think that, Dory?
-Because of the e-mail.
-What -- What e-mail?
I sent an e-mail
to her...
as Keith Powell.
Dory, no!
What on Earth?
[ Everybody shouting ]
No. No, no, no, no,
I know it seems stupid,
but it was a smart idea.
Trust me. It was
a smart thing to do.
I can't tell what's
more incriminating --
the fact that you sent
an e-mail from his computer
on the exact day
that his ex-wife contacted you
or the fact that he's been
dead way before you sent it!
Dory, it is so obvious
that it wasn't him!
Okay, I didn't...
I didn't think about....
that part.
You spent the entire day
accusing those people in
Chappaqua of being our undoing,
and it turns out,
you're our biggest threat.
What is wrong
with you, Dory?
-Yeah, Dory!
-God.
God, this scarf
is so hot!
I'm burning up.
I'm so Goddamn uncomfortable.
Elliott,
are you okay?
[ Muttering ]
Oh, sweetie. Let me help.
-Get away from me, Portia!
[ Yells ]
Hello, is anyone
else hot?
-No.
-Oh!
-Oh, my God!
-Elliott, what is that?
-Does anyone have any ice?
I need ice!
I just need two to six bags
of fresh ice, okay?
And it must be fresh!
-Elliott, your scaring me.
Why are you guys
all looking at me like
I'm some kind
of freak?!
Cool way to treat
your friend, guys!
Look, can everyone
just trust that I need ice?
I'm gonna go get ice,
and I'll be right back!
[ Door closes ]
Ice!
I need ice!
Hello?
I need ice!
Hi, sir!
I need some ice!
I need fresh ice!