♪♪
-Hey.
-Hi.
-You're late.
-Yeah, sorry.
the trains were late,
and there was a family
blocking the sidewalks.
Okay, Dory,
what's the plan?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, Dory, how are we
going to get thousands
and thousands of dollars
to April by tonight?
Right.
So what if...
we...
blackmail April?
Well, how?
Right, well, I haven't
exactly figured out that
"how we blackmail her"
part,
but I just know that she's
done something terrible.
I mean, her lifestyle alone
is, like, psychotic.
And, you know, so, I thought,
when I said blackmail,
just kind of bring it up,
and then we'd start coming up
with ideas, you know?
Okay, what kind of information
could we possibly get on April
that would be worse
than murder?
Well, I don't think we should
be shutting down ideas
so quickly and
judging them too harshly.
You know, I think we need
to feel open to just kind of,
like, brainstorming freely.
You know what I mean?
I'm so sorry I didn't create
a safe space for you.
Is that your only idea?
No, I have another one,
too.
The other one is, um,
the other is -- is -- is --
is, yeah, like, accumulating --
just accumulating, um, money.
Dory, you need to be
realistic.
We have 16 hours to get $100,000
to an insane person,
or we're all going to jail.
Babe, I'm sorry,
but you're acting
delusional.
I lay awake at night
thinking about how our lives
are going to be
taken away from us
because Dory wanted
to feel special.
It's so selfish,
and it's so pathetic.
Well, I --
I just feel like
we're all in this
a little too deep
to, you know, we --
we still have to figure
this out together.
There is no "we."
We're not, like,
a team for life, Dory.
I can't. I can't.
Wait,
where are you going?
I think we should all just
sort out our own affairs
in the event
that this is...the end.
[ Clears throat ]
I'm going to go, too.
I'm just going to pretend
like none of this is happening.
You know I'll figure
something out, though.
Right?
♪♪
Um, will you be paying
for all your friends?
Yes.
♪♪
♪ Obedear, the sky is low ♪
♪ Watch fluent seamen
rig their rudders ♪
[ Applause ]
Thanks.
Stop, it's...
Thanks.
Hey! Oh, sorry.
Hey, I'm really glad
you're okay, Joy.
You got lucky.
Yeah, yeah,
that was scary.
Hey, so listen. That girl
you called in is here,
but, just so you know,
she's sobbing like crazy.
[ Sobbing ]
-Okay.
-Yeah. She's back there.
Thanks.
[ Sobbing ]
I'm so sorry for lying.
It's just --
It's just -- it's embarrassing
that nobody was after me,
like, no one --
nobody even wants me.
So, um, if you weren't
running from anyone,
what were you doing?
I was just resting.
I was really burnt out.
It's just what my heart
needed to heal.
I need to ask you a very,
very important question, okay?
Mm-hmm.
Were your four friends,
Dory Sief, Drew Gardner...
Ugh, Drew!
...Elliott Goss
and Portia Davenport
with you on the night
of May 26th,
or was that part made up,
too?
No, they were there.
They were there?
Mm-hmm.
Okay. That is good.
That's good.
[ Sighs shakily ]
That is great news.
So I'm not in trouble
for lying?
Oh, my God. No. No!
Absolutely not. I mean,
as long as your friends
were with you that night
in New Hampshire,
that's all I care about.
Okay. Well, as long as I'm being
completely honest...
Yeah.
...um...
I wasn't in a dirty old motel
in New Hampshire.
I was in a mansion
in Canada.
In Montreal?
Yeah.
God damn it, Chantal!
What is wrong with you?
I'm sorry.
They told me to lie!
And everybody believed it,
and then my parents
felt bad for me,
so they gave me
all of the reward money,
and if they find out
that I was lying,
they're going to want
to ask for it back,
and it's almost gone.
I rented a sailboat.
I'm so stupid.
[ Sobbing ]
[ Coffee sputters ]
Come on.
Calm down, Gardner.
It's just coffee.
Are you pissed you didn't
get the Shanghai job?
I didn't?
No, man. Alan got it.
It's his last day.
Did you sign the box?
Everybody has to sign
the box of cupcakes.
This company is a family.
Yeah, sure is.
-Dory, Dory!
-Oh, my God.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
God, Julian,
what are you doing here?
Dory,
I need to talk to you.
Um, I'm freaking out, and it's
kind of, like, a moral crisis,
and are you about to go
back to the office?
I actually
was going to skip it.
I don't really have time
to add something else to my day.
Can I just, um, can I -- can
I show you something, please?
-Sure.
-Come here.
Look at that.
-What? What -- what is this?
-That's Mary.
Oh.
She sent those to me.
She's trying to seduce me.
Well, I mean, are --
are you going to report her?
I don't know! God,
I hate feeling powerless!
She's doing this
weird racial shit,
and if I speak up
against it,
then I probably won't have
a job for the rest of my life
because you know how
that shit works out.
Well, you -- you're just going
to let it keep happening to you?
Dory,
I don't know what to do.
Do you think you can make money
off of something like this?
Dory, I -- I don't know.
I don't know. Maybe.
I mean, I know the guy who found
the "Grab them by the pussy"
tape is rich now,
but he gets death threats
every day of his life.
-Wow.
-Jesus. I am so confused.
Look, just...
-Yeah.
Um, I'll just
let you go, I guess.
I don't really have many people
or friends I can trust,
so, you know, thank you
for hearing me out.
Wait, Julian, Julian,
wait up! Wait up!
I -- I -- I'm going to --
I'm going to go to
the office with you.
I thought you said
you had something...
No, I -- I can do
that stuff later.
Come on.
You need me. Let's go.
[ Keyboard clacking ]
Um, hi.
This is kind of my desk now.
Could you move?
Would you mind switching?
Because I'm just kind of
in the flow here,
and I just don't want
to break.
Um, yeah, okay.
Mm-hmm. Sure.
-Thanks. Thank you.
Thanks.
♪♪
Did you hear that Nassau County
is looking pretty good for us?
I'm sorry. I just need
to try to focus on peeing.
All right?
♪♪
-Hey!
-Hey.
-Dory, right?
-Yeah.
Greg. I've -- I've been meaning
to introduce myself. I --
I work next to
your buddy, Julian.
Right, yeah, I -- I was actually
just wondering where he is.
Hey, I love all your ink.
[ Flushing ]
Where did you
get them done?
I -- I was born
with them, actually.
[ Laughs ]
Damn, you're quick.
[ Chuckles ]
I -- I think it's awesome
when women joke around.
♪♪
What kind of food do you like?
I like all kinds of food.
I hope you're not
afraid to eat pasta.
A lot of girls
can't handle Italian.
-Oh, shit! A mouse!
-What?
-A mouse!
-What? Where?
-A mouse! Look! Right there!
-Where?
-Oh, God!
-I'll go get somebody.
God damn it!
This place is a piece of shit.
I hate it here.
Is everything okay?
♪ For he's a jolly fellow,
for he's a jolly fellow ♪
♪ For he's a jolly fellow ♪
♪ Which nobody can deny ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Oh, you guys!
-You earned it, buddy!
This is the nicest.
Oh, they're words!
"I had sex..."
[ Laughter ]
"...with your wife."
It says that?
You sick bitch!
[ Grunting ]
You son of a bitch!
We're supposed to be
family!
-No!
-[ Screams ]
-Hi.
So, um,
I have been thinking about
this play that you've created.
-We've created.
-Right, we've created.
And the -- this play, um,
truly means so much to me,
so I can't believe...
God, I can't believe
that I'm going to say
what I'm going to say.
I -- I think I need to --
I need to leave the play.
No, you -- you're not
going to leave the play.
I, um...
just have a lot of things
going on in my life
right now
that are really big,
and I'm not exactly sure
what's going to happen.
Mm-hmm.
And I -- I really wish
I could tell you.
I -- I just can't because
you wouldn't understand.
Portia, I understand
everything about you.
No, but this is, um,
this is, like, very,
very, very personal
and very, like, dangerous.
If you're in trouble, I --
I want to help you.
I'm so scared you're not
going to look at me
the same way
that you look at me.
I'm so scared that you're
going to think I'm bad.
I would die
before I'd betray you.
We can't do that.
Oh, I must have misread
the...
No, no, no.
It's not like that.
I'm going to make love
to you.
Okay.
But I'm not
going to kiss you.
Why?
It's too much,
and that's the rule.
Okay.
Okay?
I'm confused.
Okay, it's okay. It's okay.
Whatever you want,
I don't care.
[ Both breathing heavily ]
♪♪
Tell me.
Oh, my God. Did you see what my
mom just texted us --
"300 actresses who should have
better voiceover careers."
Like, what?
I'm just going to
try to one-up her.
And there it is,
right there.
Yup.
I know 15 of these women,
and they're each
a national treasure.
What? I hate her.
Honestly, I think about our
group mom thread all day long.
-May I cut in?
-No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Elliott, no. Not this time.
-Okay, just don't.
I'm with Luke now,
and I'm really happy.
We're so happy.
Well, I'm sorry, but that's just
not the way it's going to be.
I'm sorry.
Marc, Marc,
we are
meant to be together.
You are smart and chosen
and so insanely special,
and I celebrate your soul,
okay?
And I want us to be
in love forever,
even if, like, one of us,
like, goes to jail or something.
Like, if you went to jail,
like,
I would totally just still
want to be with you.
I don't know what I'm saying,
but you get it, right?
-I think -- I think so.
-Okay. [ Chuckles ]
Elliott,
what are you doing?
Marcus Jaybird Doober,
will you marry me?
I...
Of course!
[ Laughs ]
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! He said yes!
-Yes!
-He said yes!
Luke, he said yes!
Oh, he did? He did?
Could I actually get the --
the -- the cut? Thank you.
[ Laughs ]
Someone should get
a picture of this.
What?
-It's incredible, and --
-Is this really happening?
[ Phone ringing ]
It's -- It's early.
Uh-huh.
But...
-Yeah.
...you have Kings County.
-Okay.
-You have Queens County.
-Oh, my God.
You have Dutchess County.
You've got
the Royal Court, Mary!
So what does this mean?
What does this mean?
Unless something
really crazy happens...
Yeah.
...you're going to win.
We're going to DC, baby!
[ All screaming ]
Ugh.
Staten Island Ferry?
Woman: I'm sorry, what?
Oh, no-- nothing.
Sor-- S-Sorry.
[ Indistinct conversations ]
You wanted
to see me, sir?
[ Inhales deeply ]
Drew...
do you want
the Shanghai job?
Oh, I mean, y--
yes, sir, very much so.
I mean, as I've
previously stated,
I would very much appreciate
taking this position,
assuming, of course,
if Alan is --
is no longer going.
And do you want it so badly
that you told Alan
that I had a big fat dick,
and then you planted Magnum
condoms in Alan's wife's purse,
and then you wrote,
"I had sex with your wife"
on Alan's cupcakes? Huh?
No, sir, I don't -- I don't --
I don't think I did that.
You're fired, Drew.
So, if you witnessed
a peaceful transaction,
what in your mind made
Mr. Medici want to shoot you?
Right.
[ Clears throat ]
Um...
Mr. Medici had a very...
predatory essence,
and when he heard me
coming down the stairs,
he said, "Who's there?" in a --
in a very, very male tone.
You know what I mean.
Mm.
And, before I knew it,
we were in a confrontation,
and so I said,
"Sir, I just want to know
what you know
about Keith Powell."
And he said, "What I know
about Keith Powell
is that he's dead,
and I killed him."
And, um...
then he shot me.
And I wish I didn't
have to shoot him...
...but I did.
I'm happy you're okay,
and I'm happy
you did your job right.
Thank you.
One less crook on the streets
where our children play.
Sign here to sanction
your statement.
[ Clears throat ]
Hmm. Just...
Puh!
...sweating.
[ Clears throat ]
[ Exhales deeply ]
Everything all right?
Oh, I just, um,
I f-- I f-- I forgot
my signature for a second.
[ Laughs ]
There we go.
That's great.
♪♪
[ Boat horn blares ]
♪♪
Hey.
Hi.
So I guess
you have the money.
I do, yes,
in a -- in a way.
What does that mean?
Okay, do you -- do you know
who Mary Ferguson is?
No, should I?
Well, she's about
to be a senator, okay?
And she's involved in a sex
scandal, and I have proof.
So?
So a lot of people
would pay more
than what you're
asking for to have it.
Let me see.
There you go.
And -- And you just scroll up.
She looks good.
So, what?
I take this phone.
I sell it to the Post
and ruin this woman's life?
You are seriously
messed up, Dory.
You wanted the money, okay?
This is how you're
going to get the money.
-Whose phone is this?
-It's my ex -- ex-boyfriend's.
All right? Can I just
have the tape, please?
So, to get away
with murder,
you're going to destroy
two more lives?
I'm just in
a horrible mess, okay?
And you're making
everything so much worse.
All I'm trying to do
is protect my friends.
[ Laughs ]
And you think the world
needs your friends?
Your friends are pointless,
entitled, empty idiots.
They're nothing, Dory.
They do nothing.
You don't know them.
No, I do know them.
They're the people
that were born
with everything that I wanted,
but couldn't have.
Like, when I was 5,
I would've loved a bed.
Can you understand that?
You deserve every moment
of your suffering.
Why can't you just take
your money and be happy
and just leave us alone?
I can, and I will.
I'll take my money,
and I'll be happy.
But I will always know
who you are and what you did,
and I will never leave
you guys alone, ever.
I promise you that.
I'm going to rent a room
in every building you live in.
I'm going to sit behind you
in whatever bullshit
movie you watch.
I'm going to marry
someone in your family,
no matter how
disgusting they are.
If your conscience doesn't
haunt you, I will forever.
♪♪
[ Breathing ]
♪♪
Aaaah!
♪♪
[ Music playing indistinctly ]
[ Indistinct conversations ]
♪♪
Welcome to the party!
♪♪
Hey, Dory,
the future is ours!
Have fun!
♪♪
Dory, Dory, she took
my phone, okay?
She took my freaking phone.
I'm going to confront her.
I don't have to
put up with this.
That's --
That's terrible.
Mary: Hello. Hello, everyone.
[ Laughs ]
Can we take the music down?
Um, I would just like
to take a moment
to give credit to my brave
and tireless staff.
So I would like
to invite them all
to come right up here on stage.
Come on, now. Don't by shy.
Pamela, get on up here.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Come on, Julian, Greg, Renee,
Dory, get on up here!
Give these kids
a round of sound!
[ Cheers and applause ]
You are my warriors, and I
would not be here without you.
Tonight is your night
just as much as it is mine.
[ Elevator bell dings ]
Let me tell you all what I love
about working with young people.
They have values that
somehow my generation
didn't have time to cultivate.
Greg, what was that
word you taught me?
"Woke."
Woke.
How great is that word?
Where was that word
when I was young?
Um, I'm sorry, what's going on?
Is there a problem?
Um, they're here for Dory.
[ Crowd murmuring ]
Are you Dory Sief?
Yes.
Come with us, please.
You're under arrest for
the murder of Keith Powell.
Wait, what -- what --
what's going -- what's going on?
This has to be a mistake.
You have the right
to remain silent.
Anything you say can
and will be used
against you
in a court of law.
If you don't have an attorney,
one will be appointed for you
while you are questioned
if you wish.
I barely knew her.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Camera shutters clicking ]
♪♪
♪ Let this be the epitaph
of my heart ♪
♪ Cupid put too much poison
in the dart ♪
♪ This is the epitaph
of my heart ♪
♪ Because
it's gone, gone, gone ♪
♪ Life goes on and on and on ♪
Officer: She's pretty.
How'd you get her?
Officer #2: Anonymous tip.
♪ And death goes on,
world without end ♪
♪ And you're not my friend ♪
♪♪