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♪♪
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♪ Look at that sun
Look at that sky
3
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♪ Look at my sweater vest
I look so fly
4
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♪ Look at that mailbox
Look at that tree
5
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♪ It's about as beautiful
as it can be
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♪ Whoa
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♪ Today is gonna
be exceptional
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♪ Never boring
even for a minute
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♪ It's my world
and we're all livin' in it
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♪ Whoa, whoa
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♪ Never boring
even for a minute
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♪ It's my world
and we're all livin' in it ♪
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Uh-oh.
We got a substitute.
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MILO: What's the matter
with a substitute?
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ZACK: Nothing per se.
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It all depends on
what type you get.
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What do you mean?
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ZACK: Well, you get your
"try-too-hards."
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Have some candy!
Please like me!
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ZACK: And your
"drill sergeants."
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You! I'm gonna
call you Brooklyn.
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You from Brooklyn?
No, sir!
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That's why it's
gonna stick!
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Well, let's see
what we got this time.
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Good morning, students,
I'm Ms. Baxter,
your substitute teacher.
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But can I really
call myself a teacher?
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Will I be able to
teach you anything
in this brief interval
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where our lives overlap?
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And if I did, how
would I ever know?
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Oh. I forgot
the third one.
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"The discouraged burnout."
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MELISSA: Nice likeness.
ZACK: Thanks.
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You know, I never thought
about it before, but being
a substitute must be hard.
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Maybe if I...
Careful, Milo.
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Remember the last time
you "maybe if I"-ed?
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They had to call in
the National Guard.
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I know! I got to hold
a grenade launcher.
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Today I'll show you this
moderately accurate movie
about exothermic reactions.
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MILO: Excuse me, Ms. Baxter?
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Our school doesn't have
the most up-to-date
audio-visual equipment.
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Do you have anything
that'll play on this?
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It's called a zoetrope.
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We also have a horse jumping
and one of a fish.
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And no one can figure out
what this one is.
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Well, I guess that means
I'll have to teach.
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You there, boy with the
kind eyes, you're my teacher's
aide for the day.
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Cool! These glasses
really work.
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Um, Ms. Baxter, you might want
to put on your safety goggles
and take a step back.
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Like, maybe all the
way to Canada.
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Ah! We're here.
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Do you have the special
pistachio tree fertilizer
from the future?
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Yeah, I got it.
It's heavy too.
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Now, all we have to do
is find that pistachio plant.
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Why are we in a closet?
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I don't know.
The Quantum Localizer
musta glitched again.
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(BEEPING)
(POWERING DOWN)
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(GROANS)
It's dead.
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And now we don't know
where we are, or when!
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How are we going
to recharge this?
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Go outside and see if they've
discovered electricity yet.
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And that is how
a zoetrope works.
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Apparently.
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You're not gonna
like this.
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What?
I think we're
in the 1800's.
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What!
They got a zoetrope
out there.
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But, you know, they also
had fluorescent lights.
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So, maybe we're just
in a public school.
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All right. It'll only take
a minute to charge,
so let's find an outlet.
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But we must not call
attention to ourselves.
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Well, the next thing
I'm supposed to "teach"
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is the three phases
of matter.
(DOOR OPENING)
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Solid...
(CREAKING)
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(CREAKING CONTINUES)
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The three phases
of matter.
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Solid, liquid...
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(CREAKING RESUMES)
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Solid, liquid and gas.
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To demonstrate,
Milo will mix together
baking soda, a solid,
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and vinegar, a liquid,
to produce carbon dioxide gas.
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Okay, everyone, goggles on.
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Right. You don't need
goggles for this.
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Flak vests too.
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Okay. Let's get started!
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GIRL: Duck and cover!
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(CLATTERING)
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Now's my chance to retrieve
the Quantum Localizer!
87
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It should be
charged by now. (GASPS)
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(ALL SCREAMING)
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(CLATTERING CONTINUES)
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BOY: May I be excused
from this extended
physical comedy bit?
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Vinegar and baking soda
can't catch on fire!
92
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That's impossible.
It's endothermic.
93
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Yeah, uh, strange things
happen around Milo.
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Spooky things.
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Other worldly th...
Chad.
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MELISSA: What have I told you
about rising up from
under my desk?
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CHAD: Not to do it?
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All charged up.
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Time to save that
pistachio plant.
(BEEPS)
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(VIBRATES) Hey, Melissa, let's
hit the new mall after school.
101
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I hear it's totally steep!
102
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I don't think this is
our Quantum Localizer.
103
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So where is it?
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(BEEPING)
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Young lady.
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Just because you have
a substitute doesn't mean
you can text during class.
107
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But that's not my phone.
That just made
a weird noise...
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How do you turn
this thing off?
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(MUSIC PLAYS)
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♪ Substitute science
teacher in space
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♪ Can you teach them
in the brief interval
where your lives overlap?
112
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♪ How will you ever
know-oo-ooh?
113
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♪ How will you ever
know-oo-ooh?
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♪ Science teacher
in space... ♪
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(SCREAMING)
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Uh, Ms. Baxter, your...
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Your hair's a
little messed up.
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Really? That's what
jumped out at you
about that whole thing?
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You're in charge.
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Okay, polymerization.
121
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Hmm, that sounds advanced.
122
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I'm gonna
need an assistant.
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Any volunteers?
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Everyone's looking
at me, aren't they?
125
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Okay, as soon as
the coast is clear,
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we've got to switch it
back for the
Quantum Localizer.
127
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And we've got to check out
that new mall, apparently.
128
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Give me that!
129
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Okay, Zack,
just one more thing.
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Duck and cover?
131
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Actually, that's two things,
so I guess three more things.
132
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We need to add six grams
of diaminohexane.
133
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Careful,
it's very volatile.
134
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Uh-oh. This isn't
diaminohexane, is it?
135
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I just said it was.
136
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I thought you said
diaminohexene.
137
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Diaminohexane makes me sneeze.
138
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How could you
possibly know that?
139
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When I was a kid,
I had this chemistry set
and I... (SNEEZES)
140
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(ALL GASP)
141
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Chemical spill!
Everyone panic!
I'll start!
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(SCREAMING)
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GIRL: Oh, my gosh!
We're all gonna die!
144
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Just pour some
chemical absorbent on it.
145
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There's probably some
in the closet.
146
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I'll get it.
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(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
148
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(WHISPERS)
Do you think
he noticed us?
149
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Ms. Baxter?
I don't think
it's working.
150
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The chemical absorbent
will neutralize the spill.
151
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Uh, does neutralize
mean the same thing
in science class
152
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that it does
in English class?
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ZACK: Oh, this can't be good.
154
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Maybe it's a friendly blob.
155
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Wha... (GROANS)
156
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,146
Hey, Milo?
Yeah?
157
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It's not a friendly blob.
158
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It's got my ponytail!
159
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,892
Joni, that's just
the pencil sharpener.
160
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Oh.
161
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(GRUNTING)
162
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I'm already pretending
this didn't happen.
163
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Thank you. (GROANS)
164
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But now look!
Now! Guys!
165
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Ms. Baxter,
it's texting in class!
(PHONE BEEPING)
166
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Nice head-lock, Mort.
167
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,075
I hope this is his head.
168
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(GRUNTS)
169
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:37,717
Is this one in the
three states of matter?
170
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:39,550
If we don't retrieve
the Quantum Localizer,
171
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we'll never be able to
save that pistachio...
(KNOCKING)
172
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:42,721
Excuse me.
173
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(CHILDREN SCREAMING)
174
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Ah, yes.
Who was it?
175
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It was a sentient blob.
176
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A sentient blob?
That's impossible.
177
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You'd need to mix
diaminohexane
178
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with pistachio tree fertilizer
from the future...
179
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Like the one
we just brought.
180
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Oh.
181
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:05,112
(BOTH GRUNT)
182
00:09:05,144 --> 00:09:07,054
CAVENDISH:
I have the localizer.
Let's go!
183
00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:09,747
Oh, no, it's got me! Leggo!
184
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,445
(SCREAMS)
185
00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:15,046
Oh! What is it?
186
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:18,088
We don't know.
It's not quite a liquid
and not quite a solid.
187
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:19,764
Wait a minute!
The three phases of matter.
188
00:09:19,792 --> 00:09:21,232
We can turn it
into a solid.
189
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:22,560
(BOTH GRUNTING)
190
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:28,973
Hey, blob!
Chill.
191
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,604
Here, Zack!
192
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:38,477
Get down!
193
00:09:40,279 --> 00:09:42,209
Well, that could've
gone better.
(GRUNTS)
194
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:45,218
I do not remember
science class being
so action-packed.
195
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,091
(BEEPING)
196
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:50,290
Oh, no! According to this,
the danger to our pistachio
plant is getting closer.
197
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,123
Quickly, Dakota,
to the courtyard!
198
00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:55,527
(SNIFFING)
199
00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:00,931
(EXCLAIMING)
No, no, no, no!
200
00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:02,427
Get out of here,
you beast.
201
00:10:02,468 --> 00:10:03,638
Well, there you go.
202
00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:05,370
Our first successful mission.
203
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:08,974
Oh, nuts.
204
00:10:14,814 --> 00:10:16,314
(IN A DEEP VOICE)
Now everything's cool.
205
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:17,649
You gonna keep
talking like that?
206
00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:19,024
Thinkin' about it.
207
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,192
I'm sorry that today...
(CLEARS THROAT)
208
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:23,420
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
I'm sorry today was
so terrible, Ms. Baxter.
209
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,816
Milo, I went
through a wormhole
into deep space
210
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:27,288
and I was juggled
by a sentient blob.
211
00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:28,656
"Terrible" isn't
the word for it.
212
00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:30,695
Yeah, I guess not.
213
00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:32,300
"Awesome" is the word!
214
00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:34,171
Really? Why?
215
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,830
Because you actually
learned the three phases
of matter in my class!
216
00:10:36,869 --> 00:10:37,999
(MUSIC PLAYING)
217
00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:40,967
♪ Solid, liquid and gas ♪
218
00:10:41,007 --> 00:10:42,667
I taught you something!
219
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:44,639
Well, it's just like
my dad says.
220
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:47,047
"All's well that ends
with a sentient blob
221
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,710
"making a teacher remember
why she loves teaching!"
222
00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:52,849
MS. BAXTER: Wow, your dad's
sayings are weirdly specific.
223
00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:01,589
(BUBBLING)
224
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,569
(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
225
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,696
♪ It's my world
and we're all livin' in it ♪