There's this old folk tale I think would make for a good story.
It's called "The Devil's Holiday."
And in it the devil visits a small town
[scoffs] in order to collect lost souls
and sow the seeds of destruction and despair.
Yeah, here it is.
Now, there are many different
versions of this folk tale, but in the one I'm imagining,
the name of the town is Rivervale,
and the devil that visits it can take any number of guises.
[music playing over speakers]
No, no, you keep that
and pay me next time, Jim.
Thank you, Pop.
God bless you.
You have the biggest heart I know, Grandpa.
Well, I don't know about that.
[chuckles]
[electricity crackling]
[screams]
[groans sharply]
[china shatters]
Grandpa. Oh, my God. Grandpa!
[clock ticking]
Reggie, what are you doing?
Can't sleep.
Are you nervous about the casino opening?
Must be, yeah.
Don't worry.
This is gonna be the biggest thing to happen to Rivervale since maple syrup.
I love you.
I love you, Veronica.
I love you, too, Reggie.
[phone ringing]
Hello.
[man on phone] We got him, Betty.
Go on. Got who?
[Glen on phone] TBK. The Trash Bag Killer.
Where... where... where is he?
Being transported to Rivervale as we're speaking.
I need to get you two in the same room.
Hold on. What? Why? Why me?
I need a confession out of him.
And he says you're the only one he'll speak to.
You, and you alone.
Are you up for this?
Yeah. Yes, I'm in.
Our call with the Gaming Control Board got moved till 2:00.
So you'll have to take lead at the staff meeting.
No problem, Ronnie, but we need to hear this.
Rivervale's new casino, aptly named Babylonium,
is nothing short of an abomination.
If this house of sin is allowed to open as planned,
our fair town will be damned and doomed.
You think she's going to be a problem?
Oh, spare me the spin, Veronica. Casinos breed evil-doing.
First come the gamblers, then the harlots, and then the whore mongers.
Alice, we're running this casino like a corporation, which it is.
It's completely legitimate.
None of what we do here is legit.
This place was built for one reason alone,
to separate the players and their money.
Every table, wheel, and slot machine
has been calibrated to maximize profits.
Truly, we're following every rule and regulation to the letter.
[Reggie] Tipped roulette wheels, phony dice, magnetized slot machines.
We put limits on drinks.
[Reggie] Ply them with booze all night long.
And, of course, Gaming Control Board agents
will be checking our receipts every month.
When delivering the chips to the counting room, scoop one third off the top,
that's our weekly skim money.
What we use to pay the politicians,
banks and union leaders to look the other way.
Here's an idea. Why don't you come to our soft opening tonight?
Check out the place, see what we're really about.
I think you'll find we're not quite the house of the devil you're imagining.
Hmm.
[EKG machine beeping]
Good evening, Ms. Tate.
It's a pleasure to finally meet you.
I'm sorry, but who are you?
I go by many names.
Today it's Mr. Cypher.
But since I'm such an old family friend, you can call me Lou.
I'm here for your grandfather's soul.
His... soul? [chuckles]
So what, that would make you...
[gasps]
Prince of Darkness. Yes.
My grandfather would never sell his soul to you.
True. Terrence Tate wouldn't.
However, his father, your great-grandfather, was less principled.
He sold his eternal soul to ensure the success of your family diner.
Okay, but what does that have to do with my grandfather?
When Terrence learned what his father had done,
he couldn't bear the thought of dear old Dad spending eternity
in the fiery pits of hell, so...
So he offered his soul to save his father's.
Yes. Which leads us... to you.
You want my soul in exchange for Pop's?
Not at all. Just the diner.
And then your sweet grandfather will be free of his obligation to me.
The diner.
That's it?
That's it.
Think it over, Ms. Tate, and let me know.
But don't take too long.
Your grandfather's heart is liable to give out at any minute.
Hey, you.
Hi.
How's Pop?
[sighing] He's stable, at least.
How are you? Are you okay?
Unsettled.
[sighs] This stranger showed up at the hospital with a claim on Pop's soul.
Does this mean he's...
So it would appear.
But he's willing to release Pop's soul in exchange for the diner.
What does the devil want with the Chock'lit Shoppe?
I have no idea.
Mind if I ask him?
Maybe some other questions.
By all means.
Now, remember, this isn't our official opening,
but we still need to be on point.
Any questions?
Good. It's go time, then.
[indistinct chatter]
Let's go place them bets.
Right this way.
Hello. Hi, welcome. This way.
Alice, welcome to Wonderland. You look divine.
-Cute. -Let's get you a drink and over to the blackjack table.
Oh, I'm not here to drink or gamble, Veronica.
I'm here to sniff out evil.
In that case, how about we seat you close to the stage
and get you a cranberry spritzer?
You'll want a prime seat for the floorshow.
I'm sorry. I don't mean to intrude, but are you Kevin Keller?
In the flesh.
Ah, I thought it was you.
I caught a performance of yours in New York
a few years back.
You were terrific.
You should be on Broadway.
Or Vegas.
Yeah. Fat chance.
I don't even have an agent.
That's absurd.
What if I say that I could make that happen for you?
Fame, money, being a star.
Why don't I give you a taste? Then we can discuss the finer details.
[music playing]
[crowd cheering]
♪ It's not unusual To be loved by anyone ♪
♪ It's not unusual To have fun with anyone ♪
♪ But when I see you Hanging about with anyone ♪
♪ It's not unusual To see me cry ♪
♪ I want to die...
Okay, I just confirmed your schedule.
You are going to be finishing your engagement here at the Babylonium.
Then you're off to New York for your six-week run
of the Boy from Oz opposite Hugh Jackman.
I'm sorry, Fangs. What are you doing?
Very funny, Kev. I'm Finn, your manager and your boyfriend.
Typically, I tell you your schedule
and then we go have amazing sex in the Babylonium Champagne Suite. Remember?
Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course I do. Right.
♪ Love will never do
♪ What you want it to
♪ Why can't this crazy love Be mine? ♪
♪ Oh, oh
Hey, superstar. How's it all feeling?
If this is what what my life would look like from now on, I am all in.
Read it over if you like, but essentially it's--
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we're... we're... We're all good.
[chuckles]
I'll catch you later.
Cool.
♪ Whoa, whoa!
[audience cheering]
[man] You win again. Well played.
Blackjack, table 13. First base. He's won the last 20 hands.
Oh, hell, no.
Where's Reggie?
Hi, friend.
You might not be aware, but tonight Babylonium is by invitation only.
Hi, Ms. Lodge.
Yes, I know. I'm an investor.
[chuckles] No.
I know all of our investors.
Louis Cypher. I made my investment with your partner, Reggie.
Where is he, I wonder.
It doesn't matter.
You're dealing with me now, and I'm shutting this table down.
That's no problem.
There's plenty more for me to do in town.
I'll get my due here at midnight on Saturday.
And what's your due?
Oh, not much.
A soul.
Ah, I see.
Louis Cypher. Lucifer. Cute.
Now, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. Quietly.
Always.
But I'll be back on Saturday.
Reggie, there was a shark bleeding us dry tonight.
Who was he?
You tell me.
He claimed to be an investor.
As well as the devil...
looking to claim a soul.
Ronnie, that guy is the devil.
What? When we were looking for investors, I got an incoming call from him.
He said he could provide us with the rest of
the money we needed in exchange for... a soul.
My soul.
And he's here to collect it this Saturday night at midnight.
You've got to help me.
If anyone can outwit the devil, Ronnie, it's you.
Well, you're right about that.
[inhales deeply]
Okay. [sighs] I'm gonna think of something.
But in the meantime, do you have his number by any chance?
I'm happy to see you again, Betty. It's being too long.
But don't you want to see my real face?
This is your real face.
But if you mean your human face, that will come soon enough.
-My boss wants a confession from you. -Hmm.
He wants you to admit to all of the atrocious things in here.
That's what your boss wants.
But what do you want, Betty?
I don't give a damn about a confession.
I know you did these things.
I just want to know... does evil,
absolute evil... exist?
And are you it?
Ask your real question, Betty,
and then I will confess my sins.
I don't have to play these mind games with you.
[takes deep breath]
No one cares that you're here. [chuckles]
So you can sit in your filth for all I care.
And I'll just come back tomorrow.
Yes, Betty, absolute evil exists.
And yes, there's a part of you
that is absolutely 100% evil.
You're caked in it. It's what draws us to each other.
[breathing heavily]
You've got to get this guy out of Rivervale, Glen.
I'm not getting any information out of him.
Uh, he's toying with me, and I just won't be his plaything again.
Betty, what in God's name are you talking about?
Who's toying with you?
TBK, Glen.
Or is there another serial killer in custody that you want me to interview?
Betty, the Trash Bag Killer is not in custody.
Hey, are you okay? Do...[sighs]
Do I need to come up to Rivervale and check on you?
I'll call you back, Glen.
[EKG machine beeping]
Grandpa, you're awake.
Did you see him?
Yes.
But I'm making a new deal with him.
Your soul in exchange for the diner.
You... can't sell the diner, Tabitha.
Grandpa, it's bricks and plaster.
It's so much more than that, honey.
Over the years, it's become a refuge for the lost and persecuted.
That's why the devil wants it.
Pops is the soul of Rivervale, which he wants to destroy,
and that's why you cannot let him have it.
Mr. Cypher.
Hi, Veronica Lodge calling with a counter proposal.
There's an old friend of mine who I've invited to Babylonium tonight,
and I suspect you'll find his soul
much more deserving of damnation than Reggie's.
[Mr. Cypher] Color me intrigued, Ms. Lodge.
I'll see you tonight.
[sighs]
Are you surprised that I called you here, Mr. Cypher?
Nothing surprises me these days, Mr. Jones.
I've been looking for something to inspire my writing,
to get my creative juices flowing.
And I figured an interview with the devil would do just that,
but I'm... I'm... I'm not gonna sell my soul for it.
Okay?
I see.
Well, huh, I'll grant you this exclusive
if you agree to one of these terms.
We do the interview, you publish it,
you receive all the fame and notoriety we all yearn for.
But afterwards,
you'll never be able to write again.
Or?
Or I'll give you this raw, mind-blowing tell-all,
but everything I say remains between us.
You can't publish a word.
In fact, you may never publish anything again,
but you'll find your creative juices
flowing like Niagara Falls.
I agree to your terms.
I only ask that you allow me to choose my option
after we conclude the interview.
That seems fair.
Please start at the beginning.
He's here, Ronnie.
[sighs]
Nick St. Clair. All grown up, but still a sleazeball.
We'll just let him get nice and liquored up first.
And there you have it, the story of my life
and all the universe's mysteries revealed.
So, what'll it be?
Publish and never write again, or file it away forever
and happily scribble away in obscurity for the rest of your days?
Option one. I need to publish this interview.
And receive all the fame and glory that will come from it.
[whispers] Fabulous.
Darling Nicky, you made it.
Of course.
You know I could never turn down an invitation from you, Ronnie.
Even though I am happily married.
Remember, Senator, what happens in Babylonium... stays in Babylonium.
So, catch me up, Nicky.
It's been years.
I'm assuming you're still a very naughty boy.
[chuckles] I plead the Fifth.
Come on, Nicky.
-Don't get shy on me. -[glasses clink]
What can I say?
Details are a turn-on for me.
The more specific you are, the more hot and bothered I get.
Well, in that case, I haven't paid taxes in years.
And I drink and drive two to three times a week.
Any hit-and-runs?
Three.
-All covered up. -What about harassment?
Oh, I've lost count of how many NDAs my lawyers have arranged
for my staff and interns.
Affairs?
You mean, besides the one I'm about to start with you?
Cutting to the chase, would you say that you deserve the hot burning fires of hell?
As long as you're holding the pitchfork.
Would you sell your soul to the devil for me?
Whatever it takes.
[chuckles]
Is that good enough?
Is what good enough?
[Mr. Cypher] Yes.
In this instance,
that qualifies as a verbal binding agreement.
[Nick screaming]
Goodbye, Senator.
I'm glad our deal worked out, Mr. Cypher.
Indeed. I will not touch a hair on Reginald's head.
But you and I are still on for tomorrow, of course.
What do you mean?
Our business is done.
Reginald's soul was never on the table,
it was your soul that I was promised.
Mine?
How is that possible?
Hmm. You might want to ask your partner that question.
Publish...
or perish?
[keyboard clicks]
[chimes]
[Betty] New question.
Who are you?
Because you're sure as hell not TBK.
I'm the devil, Betty.
Okay. So if evil exists,
-and you're the devil... -[softly] Mmm.
hell is a real place then?
Oh, yes.
Well, tell me, is my dad there?
He is.
So, if I asked you to prove to me
that what you're saying is true...
could I speak to my father?
[gasps in Hal 's voice] Betty?
-Betty, what's happening? -Dad.
Betty, where am I?
You have to get me out of here.
Betty, it hurts. It hurts so bad!
If it's really you, Dad, I need you to focus, okay?
Where would you always take me after my Little League games?
You... you...
you mean Chaz E. Cheddar's on Route 18?
[Veronica] Reggie!
Oh, crap.
[Veronica sighs]
I want the truth, Reginald.
-Now. -Okay.
I offered my soul to Mr. Cypher and he didn't want it.
He said it was a miserable, paltry thing.
It is.
So, then you offered mine instead?
He asked for it.
He said yours would be the real prize.
Oh, my God. So you sold me down the River Styx?
How did this happen? I didn't even sign a contract.
You know those, uh, weekly invoices you sign?
I slipped a contract
in one of those stacks
and gave you Mr. Cypher's pen to use.
-[shrieks] -[Reggie gasps]
Ronnie, I'm sorry. Forgive me.
I only agreed to it because I knew you'd figure a way out.
Get out
of my sight.
You've done enough.
Out! Now!
[electricity crackling]
Mr. Cypher.
-[bell tolls] -Ms. Lodge.
So, listen.
I might be open to a renegotiation.
A soul in exchange for yours.
But not another of those Nick St. Clair types.
What about that
holy roller that's trying to shut you down?
Alice?
You get me her signature
using my pen,
and I'll release your soul.
Otherwise, you and I have a date at midnight.
[cell phone ringing]
Hello?
[reporter] Is this Forsythe Pendleton Jones III?
Yeah.
[chuckling] Hi. David Fenwick with The Associated Press.
We read your interview with the devil.
It's incredible. We'd love to pick it up.
The entire world needs to read what you wrote.
So, after the AP picked up my story,
my phone wouldn't stop ringing.
-[phone ringing] -Hang on, let me call you back.
I even got a call from...
-Samm? -Kid, your article's amazing.
I never should have dropped you as a client. I apologize.
But will you please let me be your agent again?
Before you answer, hear me out.
I've been in touch with the Pulitzer people.
Now, because I'm me, I gotta ask.
What are you writing next?
Oh. Mr. Hubbard.
Hi.
What can I get you?
I don't have any money. But I thought,
in exchange for a bowl of soup, I could wash some dishes.
You do not need to wash any dishes.
Just have a seat.
I will bring you a bowl of soup.
Bless you. Thank you
That was very kind of you.
Oh, well,
that's just what we do here at Pop's. [chuckles]
Yes.
Even when facing the direst of circumstances,
you show compassion and kindness.
Such a virtue should be rewarded, don't you think?
I'm sorry. Do I know you?
I'm a great admirer of your grandfather and all his good deeds.
Forgive me. I don't quite understand.
You might say I'm one of the good guys.
[heavenly music plays]
My name is Rafael.
And my boss
likes what you and your family are doing here.
And He wants to make sure you're prepared for a battle that's coming.
One in which your diner will play an important role.
-He wanted you to have this. -[heavenly music plays]
[knock on door]
Alice.
Thank you for coming in on such short notice.
I know how busy you are.
I am.
But you said you had an offer for me.
I do.
I want to donate
a percentage of Babylonium's weekly earnings to the town of Rivervale.
To be allocated at your discretion.
My discretion?
I want you to be my point-person on this, discreetly.
And I have a direct deposit here ready to sign,
if this sounds at all amenable to you.
As a matter of fact, it does.
You know, I knew you weren't all bad, Veronica.
Alice, stop!
What? What's wrong?
What's wrong...
is that...
you're a pain in the ass.
[scoffs]
But you don't deserve to burn in hell.
-[scoffs] -I've changed my mind.
Leave.
if you thought that I was a thorn in your side before,
get ready for what's coming next.
It was...
a dark and stormy night.
[exhales]
Who knew the devil would be so literal?
[TBK] Back for more, Betty?
-If you're the devil... -Mmm.
and you've come to me, it's because you want something from me.
So what is it?
Your loyalty.
There is a war brewing, Betty.
The one between good and evil.
Pledge your allegiance to me
and I'll release your father from endless suffering.
Why do you need me?
Because it is foretold.
"I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet-colored beast,
full of blasphemy, and that woman was Babylon the Great,
mother of all destruction and abomination."
You are that woman, Betty.
Really?
I'm the whore of Babylon from the Book of Revelation?
[whispers] I don't think so.
And as for my father's suffering,
I don't care about it.
What if I told you
Polly's in hell, too?
[stutters]
Uh...
I wouldn't believe you
because Polly doesn't deserve to be there.
Doesn't she though?
[in Polly's voice] Betty.
Betty, make it stop! It burns, Betty!
It burns so, so much!
My skin! My skin...
Betty, it's coming off.
-Everything hurts so much. -Stop it.
-Stop it! Stop it! Stop torturing her! -[Polly screaming]
Stop it!
[TBK laughing]
[Betty sighs]
-[Polly continues screaming] -[TBK continues laughing]
[grunting]
[screams]
And let me guess.
The face of evil is mine, right?
Glen?
[Mr. Cypher] Yes, it's Glen.
And when I called him using your voice,
saying I needed him...
well, he couldn't come any faster.
He must've really cared about you.
[Reggie] Hey, Ronnie, sorry to bother you.
I know you've got a lot on your plate...
but the weekly skim guys are here to collect their cut.
Um...
do you want me to handle it?
Actually, no.
Let them in.
I want to thank them personally.
For what?
For giving me...
a hope in hell.
Oh, and tell Kevin to take the night off.
I'll be delivering our eleven o'clock number.
My swansong.
Ending right at the stroke of midnight.
You called me, Mr. Jones. I came.
What seems to be the problem?
I don't want it.
I don't want the Pulitzer.
I... I don't want the fame. I don't want the fortune. Please, take it back.
Please, take it back. I need to be able to write again.
Of course.
I understand.
And I could do that.
But it would cost you.
My soul, right?
Take it.
I'm nothing if I'm not a writer.
♪ I'm gonna marry the night ♪
♪ I won't give up on my life
♪ I'm a warrior queen
♪ Live passionately tonight
[crowd cheering]
♪ I'm gonna marry the night ♪
♪ I'm not gonna cry anymore
♪ I'm gonna marry the night ♪
♪ Leave nothing on these Streets to explore ♪
♪ M-m-m-marry, m-m-m-marry
♪ M-m-m-marry the night
♪ Oh, m-m-marry, m-m-m-marry
♪ M-m-m-marry the night
[door opens]
I was so pleased to hear that you'd accepted my offer, Tabitha.
And how nice to see you on the mend, Terrence.
I wanted him here.
Well...
we all need to sign anyway.
But before we do,
I want to make sure that this contract is iron-clad.
And that after we sign,
my grandfather's soul is free and clear
forever.
Cross my heart and hope to die.
Terrence,
will you get us started?
What will you do with Pop's now?
The bulldozers will be here in the morning.
If this is Pop's last night,
then I want a milkshake to remember it by.
Delightful idea.
Make enough for three.
♪ Come and run
[whooping]
♪ Turn the car round and run
To eternal darkness.
How does it taste?
Now that you mention it, the flavor is a little...
off.
[Tabitha] Oh. Well, yeah.
That would be the secret ingredient I added.
What secret ingredient?
Tears that the Virgin Mary shed at the Crucifixion.
[continues vomiting]
Where did you get that?
My guardian angel.
And since we have consumed the tears as well,
we are now protected by their holy properties.
But our deal...
Oh, yes. About that...
[Mr. Cypher grunting]
From this moment on, Pop's is consecrated.
Protected from you and any other force of evil.
Now, why don't you get the hell out of our town?
♪ I'm gonna marry the night ♪
♪ I'm gonna burn a hole In the road ♪
♪ I'm gonna marry the night ♪
♪ Leave nothing on these Streets to explore ♪
♪ M-m-m-marry, m-m-m-marry
♪ M-m-m-marry the night
♪ Oh, m-m-marry, m-m-m-marry
♪ M-m-m-marry the night
[all cheering]
[creaking]
[cell phone ringing]
Hello?
[woman] Hello, Agent Cooper?
This is Foster from Agent Scot's office.
Have you heard from Glen recently?
His wife reported him missing, and no one can get a hold of him.
[Betty] No, I haven't heard from him.
But I'll give you a call if I do.
Hope he's okay.
[Veronica] Reggiekins.
Veronica?
You're still here?
But it's after midnight.
-What happened? -Well...
after I finished my number, to wild applause, might I add,
I went to the cash room to meet with Mr. Cypher. And...
we brokered a better deal.
That's amazing. What kind of deal?
Let's just say
the devil will be joining our little skim at the casino.
Only instead of collecting cash,
I'll be his expediter,
supplying him with one lost soul from our floor each week
for the rest of my natural life.
You're a genius, Ronnie. You did it.
You beat the devil.
Did you expect anything less?
[loud knocking]
You should get that, Reggie.
I think it's for you.
Who is it?
You know who it is.
His weekly skim begins tonight.
Or actually...
Sunday morning.
-But-- -You shouldn't have double-crossed me, Reggie.
And you should have been more careful about what pen you use
when signing for liquor deliveries.
As you did earlier today.
No.
[loud knocking]
Go on, Reggie.
Be a man about it.
Or he'll drag you out kicking and screaming
like a little bitch.
[door opens]
[Reggie screams]
For people like Veronica Lodge, this is their lot in life.
Living bet to bet, skim to skim, scam to scam.
Always chasing that next best deal.
And so what if it costs a few hundred
or a thousand souls along the way?
Because if Rivervale really is going to be
the final battleground between good and evil...
is anybody's soul safe?