1
00:00:00,281 --> 00:00:02,382
And thank you for your order.
2
00:00:02,484 --> 00:00:05,531
Guess who just made another sale
from Mrs. O's Lasagna.
3
00:00:05,602 --> 00:00:06,768
Mom, you are a killer!
4
00:00:06,837 --> 00:00:09,778
I'm so proud to have your blood
in my veins. You, less so.
5
00:00:09,841 --> 00:00:11,395
Hey! Because of me,
you're gonna be tall.
6
00:00:11,442 --> 00:00:14,143
And, fun fact, your hair will
grow upwards, like a stovepipe.
7
00:00:14,245 --> 00:00:15,344
Hmm.
8
00:00:15,446 --> 00:00:17,625
So, my girlfriend's dad,
the cardboard box king...
9
00:00:17,696 --> 00:00:19,362
- Mm-hmm.
- ...his brother is the Jar Czar,
10
00:00:19,431 --> 00:00:21,331
and I negotiated an amazing deal.
11
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,033
I just cut our overhead in half.
12
00:00:23,135 --> 00:00:26,236
Sorry, Anna-Kat,
but my new favorite kid is...
13
00:00:26,338 --> 00:00:27,304
Oliver.
14
00:00:27,406 --> 00:00:28,638
That's cool. I had a good run.
15
00:00:28,740 --> 00:00:30,273
Nice to see you guys bonding
over the business,
16
00:00:30,375 --> 00:00:31,608
and, actually, I'm kind of jealous.
17
00:00:31,677 --> 00:00:33,323
I don't have a similar thing
with any of the kids.
18
00:00:33,412 --> 00:00:35,378
We have a thing. You comb
the lice out of my hair.
19
00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:37,013
Once. In second grade.
20
00:00:37,044 --> 00:00:38,377
Hey, I'm trying, Greg.
21
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:39,554
Mm.
22
00:00:42,404 --> 00:00:43,970
Katie, where's the milk?
23
00:00:44,072 --> 00:00:45,171
Where's a condiment?
24
00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:47,207
Where's anything
that's not lasagna-related?
25
00:00:47,309 --> 00:00:48,942
Sorry, but starting a home business
26
00:00:49,044 --> 00:00:50,443
is a lot like having a new baby.
27
00:00:50,546 --> 00:00:52,279
It requires constant attention.
28
00:00:52,381 --> 00:00:53,813
But unlike a baby,
29
00:00:53,882 --> 00:00:55,749
you can't leave your
home business in an Exersaucer
30
00:00:55,851 --> 00:00:57,484
while you play "Candy Crush"
on the toilet.
31
00:00:59,922 --> 00:01:02,889
Hey, you, help me wash the pans
so I can make some more lasagna.
32
00:01:02,991 --> 00:01:04,224
These don't scrub.
33
00:01:04,326 --> 00:01:05,392
The secret to looking rich
34
00:01:05,460 --> 00:01:07,627
is expensive shoes and soft hands.
35
00:01:07,729 --> 00:01:09,539
Touch 'em. They're like
a dolphin's belly.
36
00:01:09,598 --> 00:01:12,098
- Hmm.
- And besides, I don't have time.
37
00:01:12,167 --> 00:01:14,167
Before they let me take calls
at Teen Help Line,
38
00:01:14,269 --> 00:01:16,503
I have to work on my speaking voice.
39
00:01:16,605 --> 00:01:18,138
Apparently, I have this mocking tone
40
00:01:18,206 --> 00:01:20,073
where I come across as unsympathetic.
41
00:01:20,175 --> 00:01:21,808
Some people have a punchable face.
42
00:01:21,910 --> 00:01:23,360
You have a punchable voice.
43
00:01:23,446 --> 00:01:25,478
- No, I don't!
- Yes, you do, sweetie.
44
00:01:25,581 --> 00:01:27,347
It goes along
with your punchable demeanor.
45
00:01:31,420 --> 00:01:33,086
How's the college application going?
46
00:01:33,188 --> 00:01:37,157
I haven't... started.
47
00:01:37,259 --> 00:01:38,258
What?
48
00:01:38,327 --> 00:01:41,328
These essay questions are too hard!
49
00:01:41,396 --> 00:01:44,030
"How have you positively
influenced others?"
50
00:01:44,132 --> 00:01:46,499
"What is your most significant
accomplishment?"
51
00:01:46,602 --> 00:01:48,401
I'm 18, bruh!
52
00:01:48,470 --> 00:01:50,604
My biggest accomplishment
is a papier-mâché horse
53
00:01:50,706 --> 00:01:51,871
I made in art class.
54
00:01:53,508 --> 00:01:55,108
It has no legs, Taylor.
55
00:01:55,170 --> 00:01:56,202
It's sleeping!
56
00:01:58,013 --> 00:01:59,346
I don't care how hard it is.
57
00:01:59,448 --> 00:02:00,513
You're not leaving this house
58
00:02:00,616 --> 00:02:02,048
until you finish those questions.
59
00:02:02,150 --> 00:02:03,316
Too bad one of the questions isn't
60
00:02:03,418 --> 00:02:05,185
"Which family member
is most like Satan?"
61
00:02:05,287 --> 00:02:07,287
You compare me to Satan so much,
it means nothing.
62
00:02:10,926 --> 00:02:12,258
Oh, no.
63
00:02:13,695 --> 00:02:14,594
Mom!
64
00:02:14,696 --> 00:02:15,662
I see it!
65
00:02:17,699 --> 00:02:20,500
The weekly poker tournament just
canceled their lasagna order.
66
00:02:20,602 --> 00:02:22,702
Why are all of our clients canceling?
67
00:02:22,804 --> 00:02:23,803
Because of these.
68
00:02:23,905 --> 00:02:26,039
We're being flooded
with bad Yelp reviews.
69
00:02:26,141 --> 00:02:28,508
"I found a fingernail in my lasagna"?
70
00:02:28,577 --> 00:02:29,909
"My son ate Katie's lasagna,
71
00:02:30,012 --> 00:02:31,878
and now he's been institutionalized.
72
00:02:31,980 --> 00:02:33,079
Is there a link?"
73
00:02:33,181 --> 00:02:36,016
Caitlin Bianca Madison,
you're a damn liar!
74
00:02:36,118 --> 00:02:38,151
So is Cathy Brenda McCormick.
75
00:02:38,253 --> 00:02:39,152
Wait.
76
00:02:39,254 --> 00:02:41,888
This one's by Collette Blix-Masters.
77
00:02:41,990 --> 00:02:45,291
All of these are posted by women
with the initials CBM.
78
00:02:47,329 --> 00:02:51,097
Chloe Brown Mueller.
79
00:02:53,969 --> 00:02:57,837
This next review will be from
Cynthia Barbara Mendelstein.
80
00:02:57,939 --> 00:02:59,606
I'm making this one Jewish for you.
81
00:02:59,675 --> 00:03:01,241
- But I'm not...
- Yes, you are.
82
00:03:01,343 --> 00:03:02,876
Fine.
83
00:03:02,978 --> 00:03:04,577
Can I have the high holidays off?
84
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:05,712
No.
85
00:03:07,149 --> 00:03:10,050
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
86
00:03:10,152 --> 00:03:11,827
04x08 - Women in Business
87
00:03:16,425 --> 00:03:17,791
Hey!
88
00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:20,393
It sucks that we don't have the
same lunch schedule this year.
89
00:03:20,495 --> 00:03:23,463
Yeah. No one else knows how
to make me laugh the way you do.
90
00:03:23,565 --> 00:03:25,598
Plus, you know
how to open the milk carton
91
00:03:25,701 --> 00:03:27,133
without tearing the drinky part.
92
00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:28,968
Hey.
93
00:03:30,205 --> 00:03:31,771
Maybe we can ask Principal Ablin
94
00:03:31,873 --> 00:03:34,140
if he can change our schedules
so we can eat together.
95
00:03:34,242 --> 00:03:35,642
He'll never say yes.
96
00:03:35,744 --> 00:03:37,210
He's had it in for me ever since I said
97
00:03:37,312 --> 00:03:39,345
there was no way
he was the Phillie Phanatic.
98
00:03:39,408 --> 00:03:41,195
Well, never hurts to try.
99
00:03:42,684 --> 00:03:44,350
Hey, Principal Ablin, can we...
100
00:03:44,453 --> 00:03:45,685
- No.
- Mm.
101
00:03:45,787 --> 00:03:47,320
I was the Phillie Phanatic.
102
00:03:47,422 --> 00:03:48,555
Yeah, yeah.
103
00:03:48,657 --> 00:03:51,291
- Penny. You forgot your lunch.
- Thanks, Maria.
104
00:03:51,393 --> 00:03:52,859
You know your mother
only wants you to call me
105
00:03:52,961 --> 00:03:54,594
"the help" or "sad face."
106
00:03:59,401 --> 00:04:00,633
Bellissima.
107
00:04:05,674 --> 00:04:07,240
- Hi, Anna-Kat.
- Hi, Maria.
108
00:04:07,342 --> 00:04:08,808
Principal Ablin.
109
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:20,286
How did that go? Did I ask her out?
110
00:04:20,388 --> 00:04:21,488
No, you just stood there
111
00:04:21,590 --> 00:04:23,556
looking like someone
who needed an EpiPen.
112
00:04:25,427 --> 00:04:26,626
He really likes her.
113
00:04:26,728 --> 00:04:28,528
Maybe we can use this to our advantage.
114
00:04:28,630 --> 00:04:30,530
Principal Ablin.
115
00:04:30,632 --> 00:04:33,900
You know, we can help
make Maria your girlfriend.
116
00:04:34,002 --> 00:04:35,401
I don't need your help.
117
00:04:35,504 --> 00:04:37,103
I have mad game.
118
00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:40,006
But just for fun,
119
00:04:40,108 --> 00:04:41,574
why don't you tell me
what your advice would be?
120
00:04:41,676 --> 00:04:42,776
Not so fast.
121
00:04:42,878 --> 00:04:44,878
We're only helping
if you allow Franklin and I
122
00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:46,946
to have the same lunch period.
123
00:04:47,048 --> 00:04:48,715
- Deal.
- Great!
124
00:04:48,817 --> 00:04:51,151
This hunk landed me
with a little playful teasing.
125
00:04:51,253 --> 00:04:53,253
It shows that you're funny
and comfortable with the person.
126
00:04:53,355 --> 00:04:54,621
Oh, that makes sense.
127
00:04:54,723 --> 00:04:57,390
This was more helpful
than my mom's romantic advice...
128
00:04:57,492 --> 00:05:00,360
"A woman? Really?"
129
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:06,833
Oh.
130
00:05:06,935 --> 00:05:09,235
These reviews are vicious.
131
00:05:09,337 --> 00:05:11,471
This one says
Navy SEALs found your lasagna
132
00:05:11,573 --> 00:05:13,239
in Osama bin Laden's compound.
133
00:05:13,341 --> 00:05:15,575
I have worked my ass off
to grow this business,
134
00:05:15,677 --> 00:05:18,845
and now Chloe is cutting it down
with a few bad Yelp reviews.
135
00:05:18,947 --> 00:05:21,214
Why is she so determined
to destroy your business?
136
00:05:21,316 --> 00:05:22,282
I don't know.
137
00:05:22,384 --> 00:05:23,983
Career Day, maybe?
138
00:05:24,186 --> 00:05:26,886
Thank you. Thank you.
139
00:05:26,988 --> 00:05:29,455
Our next speaker is Katie Otto,
140
00:05:29,524 --> 00:05:32,659
who is going to talk about
her poison-in-a-jar business.
141
00:05:32,761 --> 00:05:35,361
It's lasagna in a jar.
142
00:05:42,604 --> 00:05:47,273
Now, kids, I started my company
from scratch,
143
00:05:47,342 --> 00:05:48,975
unlike the previous speaker,
144
00:05:49,077 --> 00:05:52,178
whose husband bought her a store
to keep her busy.
145
00:05:53,281 --> 00:05:58,551
Just like you guys bought
this hamster a wheel to run on.
146
00:05:58,653 --> 00:06:01,054
Run, Chloe Brown Hamster!
147
00:06:01,156 --> 00:06:02,255
Run!
148
00:06:05,594 --> 00:06:07,794
Okay, if you want people to
start buying your lasagna again,
149
00:06:07,896 --> 00:06:09,662
you need to ask Chloe
to take those reviews down.
150
00:06:09,764 --> 00:06:10,864
She'll never do that.
151
00:06:10,966 --> 00:06:12,031
Then your only course of action
152
00:06:12,133 --> 00:06:14,067
is to destroy her business
in retaliation.
153
00:06:14,169 --> 00:06:15,401
That's the only course of action?
154
00:06:15,503 --> 00:06:16,936
Shh. How?
155
00:06:17,038 --> 00:06:18,705
Steal Maria.
156
00:06:18,807 --> 00:06:20,974
You need more help, and Chloe
can't survive without her.
157
00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:22,542
Isn't that hitting below the belt?
158
00:06:22,644 --> 00:06:24,777
What's wrong
with hitting below the belt?
159
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,080
It hurts the other person
and it's super-funny.
160
00:06:27,182 --> 00:06:29,015
It's how I'm handling
my divorce with Richard.
161
00:06:29,117 --> 00:06:31,784
I'm stealing everybody that
Richard can't live without...
162
00:06:31,887 --> 00:06:34,888
his personal assistant,
his driver, his pastry chef...
163
00:06:34,990 --> 00:06:37,223
Oh. You have a dedicated pastry chef?
164
00:06:37,325 --> 00:06:40,226
Yeah. I mean, who else is gonna
bake me fresh croissants
165
00:06:40,328 --> 00:06:42,996
that I can take one bite out of,
then throw to the swans?
166
00:06:43,999 --> 00:06:46,399
Or you could be the bigger person
167
00:06:46,501 --> 00:06:48,668
and just let this one go,
because you always t...
168
00:06:49,938 --> 00:06:51,771
You're just waiting
for me to stop talking
169
00:06:51,873 --> 00:06:53,373
so you can do Doris' plan.
170
00:06:53,475 --> 00:06:56,009
Ah. I'm so glad we don't have to
play this game anymore.
171
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,297
Oh, hi, Katie.
One moment. I'm with a customer.
172
00:07:04,399 --> 00:07:05,598
Oh.
173
00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:07,258
So, what can I help you with?
174
00:07:07,391 --> 00:07:09,091
"So, what can I help you with?"
175
00:07:10,327 --> 00:07:11,626
Why are you doing that to me?
176
00:07:11,695 --> 00:07:13,462
Because your voice is weird.
177
00:07:13,530 --> 00:07:15,330
But not as weird as your face!
178
00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:17,999
So, you free Friday night?
179
00:07:18,102 --> 00:07:19,468
No.
180
00:07:20,571 --> 00:07:21,737
Oh.
181
00:07:23,674 --> 00:07:26,141
Ablin... what was that?
182
00:07:26,243 --> 00:07:29,077
Uh... I-I have no game.
183
00:07:30,180 --> 00:07:31,546
Hmm.
184
00:07:32,816 --> 00:07:36,585
So, Maria, are you happy
working for Chloe?
185
00:07:36,653 --> 00:07:38,720
Every day is like an alligator attack.
186
00:07:38,789 --> 00:07:41,456
Well, I just started my own business.
187
00:07:41,558 --> 00:07:44,393
How would you like to come work for me?
188
00:07:44,495 --> 00:07:45,594
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
189
00:07:45,696 --> 00:07:46,828
Yes.
190
00:07:46,897 --> 00:07:47,729
Maria!
191
00:07:49,199 --> 00:07:51,767
What did I tell you
about standing next to mirrors?
192
00:07:51,835 --> 00:07:54,636
One of you is bad enough.
I don't need two.
193
00:07:54,738 --> 00:07:55,804
Oh, my God.
194
00:07:55,906 --> 00:07:58,473
Katie Otto's in my store, as well?
195
00:07:58,542 --> 00:08:01,643
All I need now is a UTI
to make this day complete.
196
00:08:01,745 --> 00:08:04,446
Maria, do you have something
you want to say to Chloe?
197
00:08:07,818 --> 00:08:08,717
I...
198
00:08:08,819 --> 00:08:09,985
I...
199
00:08:12,456 --> 00:08:14,022
...quit.
200
00:08:14,124 --> 00:08:16,224
You're supposed to say "I quit."
201
00:08:16,326 --> 00:08:17,993
I quit.
202
00:08:18,095 --> 00:08:19,428
She quits.
203
00:08:19,496 --> 00:08:21,689
And the best part is,
she's working for me.
204
00:08:25,068 --> 00:08:26,268
Maria!
205
00:08:26,370 --> 00:08:28,036
Maria?!
206
00:08:28,138 --> 00:08:30,238
Mariaaaa!!
207
00:08:32,643 --> 00:08:34,867
Hey, Dad, um, I know you're working,
208
00:08:34,929 --> 00:08:37,045
but do you feel like
doing a puzzle with me?
209
00:08:37,147 --> 00:08:38,953
I thought you said
you were too old for puzzles.
210
00:08:39,062 --> 00:08:41,216
I would never say something like that.
211
00:08:41,318 --> 00:08:44,219
Eh, your exact quote was
"I'm not a little girl anymore.
212
00:08:44,288 --> 00:08:45,520
I hate puzzles.
213
00:08:45,622 --> 00:08:47,789
Stop asking and get off my jock."
214
00:08:47,891 --> 00:08:49,291
Well, it's not about the puzzle.
215
00:08:49,393 --> 00:08:50,492
I just want to spend time with you.
216
00:08:50,586 --> 00:08:52,060
Really?
217
00:08:53,297 --> 00:08:55,664
Okay. Let's bond.
218
00:08:55,766 --> 00:08:57,032
Uh, well, since we're hanging out,
219
00:08:57,134 --> 00:08:59,835
um, I have this question
I've been meaning to ask you.
220
00:08:59,937 --> 00:09:01,269
Sure. Shoot.
221
00:09:01,371 --> 00:09:04,940
What do you think is my most
significant accomplishment?
222
00:09:05,042 --> 00:09:07,309
Hmm. That's an interesting
question. I would say...
223
00:09:07,377 --> 00:09:09,377
Try to keep your answer
to 500 words or less.
224
00:09:12,282 --> 00:09:16,418
Oliver, come over here
and meet our new employee.
225
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:17,219
Maria?
226
00:09:17,321 --> 00:09:18,386
Hey, there, boss.
227
00:09:18,489 --> 00:09:20,655
Ooh, "boss." Goosebumps.
228
00:09:20,724 --> 00:09:23,124
Maria, you don't have to call us "boss."
229
00:09:23,227 --> 00:09:25,160
And you can make eye contact with us.
230
00:09:27,064 --> 00:09:28,296
Really?
231
00:09:28,398 --> 00:09:30,599
And... I don't have to tell you
how great your hair looks
232
00:09:30,701 --> 00:09:31,733
on the hour?
233
00:09:31,835 --> 00:09:33,768
Of course not.
234
00:09:33,798 --> 00:09:34,703
Maybe.
235
00:09:34,805 --> 00:09:36,505
Mom...
236
00:09:36,607 --> 00:09:37,839
why did you hire someone?
237
00:09:37,908 --> 00:09:38,940
Our reviews still suck,
238
00:09:39,042 --> 00:09:40,375
which means we're not making any money,
239
00:09:40,477 --> 00:09:42,377
which means it's the worst time
to hire a new employee.
240
00:09:42,479 --> 00:09:44,746
I can help with the reviews, actually.
241
00:09:44,848 --> 00:09:46,381
I know all of Chloe's passwords,
242
00:09:46,450 --> 00:09:47,716
so I can just log in to her accounts
243
00:09:47,818 --> 00:09:49,384
and turn them into five stars.
244
00:09:49,453 --> 00:09:51,786
Oliver, she's pulling
her weight already.
245
00:09:51,855 --> 00:09:52,888
You're amazing.
246
00:09:52,990 --> 00:09:54,155
This job...
247
00:09:54,258 --> 00:09:56,391
it's just so different.
248
00:09:56,493 --> 00:09:58,493
It's okay, Maria.
249
00:09:58,595 --> 00:10:00,161
- You're going to...
- No, no. Let me do this.
250
00:10:00,264 --> 00:10:02,597
I need to practice my soothing
voice for Teen Help Line.
251
00:10:05,002 --> 00:10:06,368
Hey, Maria?
252
00:10:06,470 --> 00:10:08,737
We're happy to have you,
and you're doing just great.
253
00:10:08,839 --> 00:10:10,372
Are you being sarcastic?
254
00:10:11,608 --> 00:10:12,674
I don't even know.
255
00:10:14,811 --> 00:10:16,988
- Dessert first today?
- Good idea.
256
00:10:17,058 --> 00:10:18,513
Let's see how high
my blood sugar can go.
257
00:10:18,615 --> 00:10:19,781
Oh, I've missed this.
258
00:10:19,883 --> 00:10:21,550
You two!
259
00:10:21,652 --> 00:10:24,319
Your advice was terrible!
The deal is off!
260
00:10:24,421 --> 00:10:26,421
I've changed your schedule back.
261
00:10:26,523 --> 00:10:28,423
You're late for gym.
262
00:10:28,485 --> 00:10:29,618
Bye, Franklin.
263
00:10:29,686 --> 00:10:31,092
When will I ever see you again?
264
00:10:31,171 --> 00:10:32,077
After gym.
265
00:10:32,148 --> 00:10:33,448
Okay.
266
00:10:33,515 --> 00:10:36,331
This is why you could've never
been the Phillie Phanatic.
267
00:10:36,433 --> 00:10:37,532
You have no heart.
268
00:10:39,036 --> 00:10:41,202
Gimme a P! Gimme an H!
269
00:10:41,305 --> 00:10:44,372
Gimme an I, L, L, Y!
270
00:10:44,474 --> 00:10:45,740
What's that spell?
271
00:10:45,842 --> 00:10:46,808
Philly!
272
00:10:46,910 --> 00:10:49,711
That... proves... nothing.
273
00:10:57,054 --> 00:10:58,987
Oh, did someone place a new order?
274
00:10:59,089 --> 00:11:01,375
Ever since Maria took down
the fake reviews Chloe posted...
275
00:11:01,446 --> 00:11:03,592
Our clients started coming back.
276
00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:06,127
My baby was sick,
and we nursed it back to health.
277
00:11:06,229 --> 00:11:08,363
And that's why Maria's
our employee of the month.
278
00:11:08,465 --> 00:11:10,565
Why are you mocking me?
I'm doing the best I can.
279
00:11:11,535 --> 00:11:13,268
Dad, you have a gentle voice.
280
00:11:13,370 --> 00:11:14,936
Can you teach me that tone you use
281
00:11:15,038 --> 00:11:17,072
to calm Mom down
when she finds someone counting
282
00:11:17,174 --> 00:11:19,531
to see if she has
10 items or less in her basket?
283
00:11:19,617 --> 00:11:22,410
Sorry, son, but that honey
timbre doesn't come overnight.
284
00:11:22,512 --> 00:11:24,079
It took years working as a DJ
285
00:11:24,147 --> 00:11:26,348
at my college's
smooth jazz radio station.
286
00:11:26,450 --> 00:11:28,984
I know you don't think they are,
but your stories are so sad.
287
00:11:30,487 --> 00:11:32,921
Oliver, I need you to call the
guys from the poker tournament
288
00:11:32,990 --> 00:11:35,557
and explain to them
what happened with the reviews.
289
00:11:35,659 --> 00:11:36,691
You got it, Mom.
290
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:37,759
Oliver, please!
291
00:11:37,861 --> 00:11:39,694
This is important!
292
00:11:39,796 --> 00:11:41,630
I was being sincere!
293
00:11:41,732 --> 00:11:43,365
Damn this voice!
294
00:11:43,467 --> 00:11:47,168
You know, you're not the only
one bonding with our kids.
295
00:11:47,237 --> 00:11:49,904
I hung out with Taylor
yesterday... all day.
296
00:11:50,007 --> 00:11:51,940
Whoa! Nice job.
297
00:11:52,042 --> 00:11:55,210
First time we talked
about really deep issues.
298
00:11:55,278 --> 00:11:56,978
She hung on my every word.
299
00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:59,514
I think at one point,
she was even taking notes.
300
00:11:59,583 --> 00:12:01,916
Quick question...
did you guys also talk about
301
00:12:02,019 --> 00:12:04,252
what Taylor has done to make
her community a better place?
302
00:12:04,354 --> 00:12:05,553
Yes. How did you know?
303
00:12:05,656 --> 00:12:07,622
Because you're getting played.
304
00:12:07,724 --> 00:12:10,799
All of those questions were
from her college application.
305
00:12:13,096 --> 00:12:15,196
I think I was just so happy
she wanted to hang out with me,
306
00:12:15,298 --> 00:12:16,398
I didn't notice.
307
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,866
Well, that is the last time
308
00:12:17,968 --> 00:12:20,669
we do a historical jigsaw puzzle
together. That'll show her.
309
00:12:20,771 --> 00:12:22,137
I don't think it will.
310
00:12:22,239 --> 00:12:23,338
Mm.
311
00:12:24,775 --> 00:12:27,709
Guess who got the lasagna order
for the poker tournament back.
312
00:12:27,811 --> 00:12:29,097
They even want to put a rush order
313
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,180
- on it for tonight.
- Crap! That is a lot of lasagna.
314
00:12:32,282 --> 00:12:33,948
Maria, fire up the stove.
315
00:12:39,690 --> 00:12:41,723
Something's wrong. It won't turn on.
316
00:12:44,428 --> 00:12:45,753
Did one of you call the gas company?
317
00:12:51,468 --> 00:12:52,801
E-Excuse me.
318
00:12:54,504 --> 00:12:56,805
Why are you putting a lock
on our gas line?
319
00:12:56,907 --> 00:12:58,306
You were renovating the backyard.
320
00:12:58,408 --> 00:13:00,542
You hit a line, and now
you need the gas shut off.
321
00:13:00,644 --> 00:13:01,943
That never happened.
322
00:13:02,045 --> 00:13:03,411
Who called this in, exactly?
323
00:13:03,513 --> 00:13:06,181
The homeowner.
"Carmen Bolivar Martinez"?
324
00:13:07,551 --> 00:13:08,650
CBM.
325
00:13:08,752 --> 00:13:10,946
You've got to admit,
that's the best name yet.
326
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,521
I wanna punch your voice
so hard right now.
327
00:13:16,290 --> 00:13:18,727
Listen, there has been
a misunderstanding.
328
00:13:18,789 --> 00:13:21,687
I live here, and we don't need
the gas shut off.
329
00:13:21,742 --> 00:13:23,742
- But the work order says...
- I know what it says.
330
00:13:23,844 --> 00:13:24,977
But it's wrong.
331
00:13:25,079 --> 00:13:26,178
- But the work order...
- It's wrong.
332
00:13:26,254 --> 00:13:27,843
- But... the...
- Don't say it. Stop.
333
00:13:27,905 --> 00:13:30,149
- ...work order...
- I want to talk to your supervisor.
334
00:13:30,251 --> 00:13:32,785
He's away. But you can call
first thing Monday morning.
335
00:13:32,887 --> 00:13:34,220
Sir, we can't wait that long.
336
00:13:34,322 --> 00:13:35,654
My mom and I run a home business,
337
00:13:35,756 --> 00:13:38,257
and we need the gas turned on,
or we'll lose a big client.
338
00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,093
- But the work order...
- Where's your offices?
339
00:13:41,162 --> 00:13:42,528
Because I'm going to burn them to...
340
00:13:42,630 --> 00:13:44,396
This is DJ Greg, coming at you
341
00:13:44,465 --> 00:13:46,131
to calm you down with a kiss.
342
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:51,971
Chloe Brown Mueller
is messing with my baby,
343
00:13:52,073 --> 00:13:53,372
and she's going down.
344
00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:55,808
Mom, your feud with Chloe
is hurting our business.
345
00:13:55,910 --> 00:13:57,109
- Ugh!
- What's more important?
346
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:58,911
Hurting Chloe or protecting your baby?
347
00:13:58,980 --> 00:14:00,980
Right now, hurting Chloe.
348
00:14:01,082 --> 00:14:03,382
Okay, I'm gonna go down to Perfection,
349
00:14:03,484 --> 00:14:05,551
and I'm gonna take a bat
to her electrical box.
350
00:14:05,620 --> 00:14:08,153
She's gonna send one
of my utilities to the hospital?
351
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:10,556
I send one of hers to the morgue.
352
00:14:10,658 --> 00:14:12,202
"Untouchables" reference.
353
00:14:12,273 --> 00:14:13,525
I got it, boss.
354
00:14:13,580 --> 00:14:15,279
So funny.
355
00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:17,129
Maria, you don't have to laugh
at my jokes.
356
00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:19,732
That's not a joke.
357
00:14:21,469 --> 00:14:23,335
Oh, man. You are damaged.
358
00:14:25,706 --> 00:14:27,906
Hey, Maria, now that
you're working here,
359
00:14:28,009 --> 00:14:29,819
maybe I should get to know you
a little bit.
360
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:32,044
- Mm.
- What do you look for in a fella?
361
00:14:32,897 --> 00:14:35,131
Anna-Kat, that is a personal question.
362
00:14:35,209 --> 00:14:37,616
But now that it's out there,
let's spill some tea.
363
00:14:37,718 --> 00:14:39,285
What do you look for in a man?
364
00:14:39,387 --> 00:14:40,819
I guess I'm attracted to someone
365
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:43,322
who isn't afraid to share
what makes them special.
366
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,957
As long as your definition
of "special" is pretty flexible,
367
00:14:46,020 --> 00:14:47,114
I can work with that.
368
00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:50,723
What is she up to?
369
00:14:50,785 --> 00:14:52,621
If she were my first kid,
I'd dig into that,
370
00:14:52,697 --> 00:14:53,896
but she's number three.
371
00:14:53,981 --> 00:14:55,701
I'm just gonna sit here
and hope for the best.
372
00:14:57,471 --> 00:14:58,437
Hey, Dad!
373
00:14:58,539 --> 00:14:59,738
I thought you could teach me
374
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:01,540
how that old laminator of yours works.
375
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:02,975
Sounds like a hoot, huh?
376
00:15:04,078 --> 00:15:05,210
You know, I was thinking,
377
00:15:05,312 --> 00:15:07,815
I'd like to revise my answer
to the question
378
00:15:07,877 --> 00:15:09,710
"What word best describes you?"
379
00:15:09,792 --> 00:15:11,166
Okay. Shoot.
380
00:15:11,268 --> 00:15:13,535
I'd say "manipulative,"
381
00:15:13,637 --> 00:15:15,637
"deceitful," "self-serving."
382
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,706
Wait a minute.
That's all bad stuff, right?
383
00:15:17,808 --> 00:15:19,007
I know you only hung out with me
384
00:15:19,076 --> 00:15:21,128
so you could pump me for your
college application answers.
385
00:15:21,222 --> 00:15:23,512
I was spending quality time with you,
386
00:15:23,614 --> 00:15:24,780
and you were using me!
387
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:27,249
Okay, fine, I tricked you.
388
00:15:27,318 --> 00:15:29,118
But come on.
I only have one question left.
389
00:15:29,172 --> 00:15:30,186
Forget it, Taylor.
390
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:31,920
You can't slack off
and expect me to bail you out.
391
00:15:32,022 --> 00:15:33,188
But I wasn't slacking off!
392
00:15:33,257 --> 00:15:34,757
I've been trying to answer
these stupid questions
393
00:15:34,859 --> 00:15:36,291
for the past three months,
394
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:38,811
but I froze up because
I finally really want something.
395
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,791
Carnegie Mellon is perfect for me.
396
00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:42,581
When I'm on stage, it's the only time
397
00:15:42,683 --> 00:15:44,650
I'm not afraid to show people
the real me.
398
00:15:44,719 --> 00:15:47,721
And I realized singing is
the thing I care about the most.
399
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,522
And if you don't help me, I'll never
get in! And why are you smiling?
400
00:15:50,624 --> 00:15:52,157
- That's it.
- What?
401
00:15:52,226 --> 00:15:54,827
What you just said was the perfect
answer to the last question...
402
00:15:54,895 --> 00:15:56,695
"Why do you want to attend
Carnegie Mellon?"
403
00:15:57,965 --> 00:15:59,131
- Really?
- Yes!
404
00:15:59,233 --> 00:16:00,733
It's honest and true and so much better
405
00:16:00,801 --> 00:16:02,134
than anything I could've come up with.
406
00:16:04,739 --> 00:16:06,839
I'm gonna write this down.
407
00:16:06,907 --> 00:16:10,809
But afterwards, we could
maybe use your laminator
408
00:16:10,911 --> 00:16:12,177
and laminate things.
409
00:16:12,246 --> 00:16:15,447
I know you're only saying that
because you feel guilty, but...
410
00:16:17,385 --> 00:16:18,817
...let's push this baby to the limit.
411
00:16:21,622 --> 00:16:24,456
Carmen Bolivar Martinez, show yourself!
412
00:16:26,293 --> 00:16:28,627
- Hello, Mother.
- Oliver?
413
00:16:28,729 --> 00:16:29,895
What are you doing here?
414
00:16:29,997 --> 00:16:31,430
Your feud was ruining our business,
415
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:34,099
so I reached out to Chloe
to broker a truce.
416
00:16:34,168 --> 00:16:36,902
Ugh. The one child we planned
turns on me!
417
00:16:37,004 --> 00:16:38,003
Mom...
418
00:16:39,507 --> 00:16:41,473
...sit down, please.
419
00:16:41,575 --> 00:16:42,674
Chloe, you, too.
420
00:16:50,117 --> 00:16:52,351
Thank you. Now, in order to end this,
421
00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:54,949
we need to get to the root
of your issues with each other.
422
00:16:55,011 --> 00:16:56,738
Why exactly are you mad at my mom?
423
00:16:56,839 --> 00:16:59,258
Because she's the suckiest suck
that ever sucked.
424
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:02,261
This stupid battle
is hurting your business, too.
425
00:17:02,363 --> 00:17:03,495
Okay, fine.
426
00:17:03,597 --> 00:17:05,564
Your mother went too far on Career Day.
427
00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:08,434
You started it. You said
my lasagna was poison.
428
00:17:08,536 --> 00:17:10,235
You said my store was a vanity project
429
00:17:10,337 --> 00:17:12,070
paid for by my husband.
430
00:17:12,173 --> 00:17:13,672
And why did that make you so mad?
431
00:17:13,774 --> 00:17:15,674
Because it's not true!
432
00:17:15,776 --> 00:17:18,143
I easily could have asked him,
but I didn't,
433
00:17:18,212 --> 00:17:20,579
because I wanted it to be truly mine.
434
00:17:20,681 --> 00:17:23,415
Do you know I started going
to small craft fairs,
435
00:17:23,517 --> 00:17:25,984
meeting artists
and developing relationships?
436
00:17:26,053 --> 00:17:28,487
And then I spent years
selling their work
437
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,856
at a kiosk at the Stanford Mall.
438
00:17:30,958 --> 00:17:34,159
- You were a mall kiosk lady?
- It was hell.
439
00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:35,828
But I persevered,
440
00:17:35,896 --> 00:17:37,830
and I finally saved up enough money
441
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,865
to open my own place.
442
00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:42,267
Perfection isn't a vanity store.
443
00:17:42,369 --> 00:17:44,002
It's my baby.
444
00:17:44,071 --> 00:17:45,370
I didn't know.
445
00:17:45,473 --> 00:17:48,106
Mom, is it possible
that you pre-judged Chloe
446
00:17:48,175 --> 00:17:49,942
as a typical Westport housewife?
447
00:17:50,044 --> 00:17:51,944
I guess I did.
448
00:17:53,347 --> 00:17:55,481
So, that means...
449
00:17:55,583 --> 00:17:57,516
I was wrong.
450
00:17:57,618 --> 00:18:00,652
Chloe, I didn't mean
to mess with your baby.
451
00:18:00,754 --> 00:18:02,821
I'm sorry for stealing Maria
away from you.
452
00:18:02,890 --> 00:18:05,624
Well, I'm sorry
for messing with your baby, too.
453
00:18:05,726 --> 00:18:08,293
I know how hard it is
to start a business.
454
00:18:08,395 --> 00:18:10,229
We need to be supporting each other.
455
00:18:10,331 --> 00:18:12,865
Maybe I'll buy a jar of your lasagna...
456
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:15,300
and eat it over a four-year period.
457
00:18:15,402 --> 00:18:19,905
Maybe I will buy a trinket
from your store.
458
00:18:20,007 --> 00:18:21,273
That's $800.
459
00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:23,675
You'll let me know when
you're having a "100% off" sale.
460
00:18:23,777 --> 00:18:27,279
Would you mind if Maria
came back to work for me?
461
00:18:29,950 --> 00:18:31,283
Sure.
462
00:18:31,385 --> 00:18:33,385
I'm not an object
you can barter and trade.
463
00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:34,553
I am a human being.
464
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:36,955
Oh, my God! What have you done to her?
465
00:18:37,024 --> 00:18:40,224
Working for Katie has taught me
that I have value.
466
00:18:42,463 --> 00:18:44,997
All right, well, what do I
have to do to get you back?
467
00:18:45,099 --> 00:18:46,932
I could... give you a raise?
468
00:18:48,202 --> 00:18:50,481
And I don't want to give you
a piggyback ride to your car
469
00:18:50,567 --> 00:18:51,570
after pedicures.
470
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,138
You don't like that?
471
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:54,957
That was our thing!
472
00:18:55,027 --> 00:18:56,106
Mnh-mnh.
473
00:18:56,207 --> 00:18:58,210
Okay. Fine.
474
00:18:58,312 --> 00:18:59,344
You can start today.
475
00:18:59,446 --> 00:19:00,546
Tomorrow morning.
476
00:19:00,648 --> 00:19:01,813
Ugh! Okay.
477
00:19:01,916 --> 00:19:03,916
But I have to tell you
that this self-esteem
478
00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:05,617
is a very ugly color on you.
479
00:19:05,719 --> 00:19:08,086
So, this feud is over?
480
00:19:10,457 --> 00:19:11,823
Feud over.
481
00:19:11,926 --> 00:19:13,058
Feud over.
482
00:19:14,495 --> 00:19:16,595
Nice job, Oliver.
483
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,530
I think you found your soothing voice.
484
00:19:18,632 --> 00:19:19,798
I guess I did.
485
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:21,867
I think it's because
there was money on the line.
486
00:19:21,969 --> 00:19:23,368
I just have to lock in this feeling
487
00:19:23,470 --> 00:19:25,804
and apply it to stupid stuff,
like people's problems.
488
00:19:35,059 --> 00:19:36,525
I'll get it!
489
00:19:43,948 --> 00:19:45,317
She's here. You ready?
490
00:19:45,408 --> 00:19:47,221
I brought what makes me special.
491
00:19:48,572 --> 00:19:51,666
Hey, guys! Look who decided
to come over and hang!
492
00:19:51,721 --> 00:19:53,251
It's my principal!
493
00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:54,277
Hey, Ottos.
494
00:19:54,305 --> 00:19:56,178
Principal Ablin.
495
00:19:56,212 --> 00:19:57,664
What are you doing here?
496
00:19:57,743 --> 00:20:01,039
I wanted to apologize to Maria
for how I acted the other day.
497
00:20:01,102 --> 00:20:02,474
Those slams don't belong anywhere
498
00:20:02,507 --> 00:20:04,799
except the main stage at the Apollo.
499
00:20:04,875 --> 00:20:06,440
So, I brought you a gift.
500
00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:13,886
It's... uh...
501
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,125
me.
502
00:20:15,202 --> 00:20:16,455
I made it from memory.
503
00:20:16,488 --> 00:20:18,356
I've been a woodworker
ever since I was a kid.
504
00:20:18,390 --> 00:20:20,069
It's kind of what makes me special.
505
00:20:21,058 --> 00:20:22,027
It's...
506
00:20:22,059 --> 00:20:24,273
pretty cool, actually.
507
00:20:25,896 --> 00:20:28,399
So, Maria, I was wondering
if you'd ever like to, uh,
508
00:20:28,433 --> 00:20:31,515
you know, go on a, um... date with me.
509
00:20:34,873 --> 00:20:36,892
Sure. That sounds fun.
510
00:20:36,954 --> 00:20:39,157
- Yes!
- Huzzah!
511
00:20:39,243 --> 00:20:42,630
This is a man who's in charge
of thousands of children.
512
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,312
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com