1
00:00:10,653 --> 00:00:12,186
I know it's Christmas, Mom,
2
00:00:12,255 --> 00:00:14,207
but I think you have to
stay home with Dad.
3
00:00:14,290 --> 00:00:17,791
He needs you
to take care of him right now.
4
00:00:17,816 --> 00:00:18,981
I'm sad, too.
5
00:00:20,363 --> 00:00:22,029
Bye, Mom.
6
00:00:24,333 --> 00:00:25,866
What's with the happy dance?
7
00:00:25,935 --> 00:00:27,568
Remember how my dad's foot surgery
8
00:00:27,670 --> 00:00:28,936
was supposed to be healed by now?
9
00:00:29,038 --> 00:00:30,137
It did, but great news.
10
00:00:30,206 --> 00:00:32,106
The bone set wrong,
and they had to rebreak it.
11
00:00:32,174 --> 00:00:33,307
How lucky is that?
12
00:00:33,376 --> 00:00:34,608
You're a regular Clara Barton.
13
00:00:34,710 --> 00:00:36,810
It's not an insult if I don't
know who you're talking about.
14
00:00:36,879 --> 00:00:38,979
- True.
- I'm gonna miss my dad,
15
00:00:39,048 --> 00:00:41,048
but with my mother not being here,
16
00:00:41,150 --> 00:00:42,616
I will finally be able to make
17
00:00:42,718 --> 00:00:45,052
my Nana's Bavarian Meat Tree
with Taylor.
18
00:00:45,121 --> 00:00:46,520
What are you signing me up for?
19
00:00:46,589 --> 00:00:48,522
It's this tradition
I always did with her.
20
00:00:48,591 --> 00:00:50,090
It's a mini Christmas tree
21
00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:52,726
made of sausage,
lunch meats, and meatballs.
22
00:00:52,828 --> 00:00:55,195
For Christmas this year,
I want to not do that.
23
00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:57,431
You're gonna love it so much!
24
00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:59,266
If it's so great,
then why'd you stop doing it?
25
00:00:59,368 --> 00:01:01,235
After Nana died, my mother banned it.
26
00:01:01,337 --> 00:01:03,437
With your parents not coming
and my parents not coming,
27
00:01:03,539 --> 00:01:05,639
- it's just gonna be us.
- Mm.
28
00:01:05,708 --> 00:01:07,708
You still haven't talked
to Grandpa? It's been two years.
29
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Well, since he told me he had
a second family in England
30
00:01:10,212 --> 00:01:11,845
and I have a brother
that I've never met...
31
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also named Greg...
32
00:01:13,182 --> 00:01:14,448
Are we allowed to laugh at that yet?
33
00:01:14,550 --> 00:01:15,983
No!
34
00:01:16,085 --> 00:01:17,918
Anyway, I haven't really
been in the mood
35
00:01:17,987 --> 00:01:20,087
to call up my parents
and see what's shakin'.
36
00:01:20,156 --> 00:01:22,289
I'm sorry, Dad.
37
00:01:22,391 --> 00:01:23,991
It's a little weird that it's Christmas
38
00:01:24,060 --> 00:01:25,726
and there's no other family coming.
39
00:01:25,795 --> 00:01:27,061
It's kind of depressing, actually.
40
00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:29,763
All I know is,
less relatives means less gifts.
41
00:01:29,865 --> 00:01:32,166
You mean "fewer" relatives
means "fewer" gifts.
42
00:01:32,268 --> 00:01:34,735
Hey, Dad? Literally no one cares.
43
00:01:34,804 --> 00:01:36,804
Speaking of gifts, I got you
44
00:01:36,872 --> 00:01:38,572
the perfect Greg Otto gift this year.
45
00:01:38,674 --> 00:01:40,407
I put a lot of thought into it.
46
00:01:40,509 --> 00:01:42,142
I didn't just give you
the Starbucks gift card
47
00:01:42,244 --> 00:01:43,777
that I forgot to give
Anna-Kat's teacher.
48
00:01:43,846 --> 00:01:44,778
I can't wait.
49
00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:46,180
Maybe this won't be so bad.
50
00:01:46,248 --> 00:01:47,614
Maybe less family means less drama.
51
00:01:47,683 --> 00:01:50,517
Don't you mean "fewer" family
means "fewer" drama?
52
00:01:50,586 --> 00:01:53,320
- Oliver, no! I made that!
- Get out of my face!
53
00:01:53,422 --> 00:01:55,422
Oliver, what did you do?
54
00:01:55,524 --> 00:01:57,658
He broke the chimney
off my gingerbread house.
55
00:01:57,727 --> 00:01:59,059
It's food!
56
00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:00,694
I built that with Dad!
57
00:02:00,796 --> 00:02:02,262
You wrecked
the whole ventilation system.
58
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:03,664
There's a vanilla wafer furnace!
59
00:02:03,766 --> 00:02:05,532
Stop ruining our drama-free Christmas!
60
00:02:05,601 --> 00:02:07,534
Now, go upstairs
and do something together.
61
00:02:07,603 --> 00:02:10,204
Without fighting,
or Christmas is canceled!
62
00:02:10,306 --> 00:02:12,039
Remember what we said
about making threats
63
00:02:12,141 --> 00:02:13,173
we can't follow through on?
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00:02:13,275 --> 00:02:14,241
Who are you to talk?
65
00:02:14,310 --> 00:02:15,576
You potty-trained all three of them
66
00:02:15,678 --> 00:02:17,311
by threatening if they
didn't stop using diapers,
67
00:02:17,413 --> 00:02:18,579
Elmo would quit show business.
68
00:02:21,150 --> 00:02:24,051
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:25,978
04x10 - The Bromance Before Christmas
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00:02:27,056 --> 00:02:28,155
Hey, Mom.
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00:02:28,257 --> 00:02:31,125
One sec. I'm tracking
Dad's surprise Christmas gift.
72
00:02:31,227 --> 00:02:33,193
It's exactly what he needs this year.
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00:02:33,295 --> 00:02:35,195
Don't ask what it is, because
I'm not going to tell you.
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00:02:35,297 --> 00:02:37,064
I won't, because I have zero interest.
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00:02:37,166 --> 00:02:38,198
I'll tell you if you guess.
76
00:02:38,300 --> 00:02:38,999
Fine.
77
00:02:39,101 --> 00:02:40,167
Uh... surfboard?
78
00:02:40,269 --> 00:02:41,235
That was a terrible guess.
79
00:02:41,337 --> 00:02:42,836
It was better when you didn't even care.
80
00:02:42,938 --> 00:02:44,638
Ehh.
81
00:02:44,740 --> 00:02:45,973
This is so much meat!
82
00:02:46,075 --> 00:02:49,610
I know! I'm handing down
the family meat-tree tradition.
83
00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:51,745
I can't believe this is what I inherit.
84
00:02:51,847 --> 00:02:53,781
Don't you have any jewelry?
85
00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:55,249
No, you get a meat tree.
86
00:02:57,686 --> 00:03:00,521
I'm sorry I ate your chimney,
so let me make it up to you.
87
00:03:03,626 --> 00:03:07,261
Wait. This is where Mom and Dad
hide all our presents?
88
00:03:07,363 --> 00:03:10,130
In their closet? Not smart.
89
00:03:10,182 --> 00:03:13,417
Nope. We are fighting
an uphill battle genetically.
90
00:03:15,154 --> 00:03:17,054
Mine.
91
00:03:17,156 --> 00:03:18,188
Taylor's.
92
00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:19,256
Yours.
93
00:03:21,727 --> 00:03:24,495
Feels like another
junior-executive pencil set.
94
00:03:24,597 --> 00:03:25,963
What part of "I'll just take the cash"
95
00:03:26,065 --> 00:03:27,631
do they not understand?
96
00:03:29,435 --> 00:03:31,368
Oh, this unwrapped one has no card.
97
00:03:31,470 --> 00:03:33,070
It's probably for me.
98
00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:34,371
Says who?
99
00:03:34,473 --> 00:03:35,305
I do!
100
00:03:38,044 --> 00:03:40,377
Oh, no! We broke Mom's serving platter.
101
00:03:40,479 --> 00:03:42,212
Mom uses it every Christmas.
102
00:03:42,314 --> 00:03:43,447
We're so dead.
103
00:03:43,549 --> 00:03:45,549
No one has to know. I can fix this.
104
00:03:45,651 --> 00:03:47,451
How? It's completely broken.
105
00:03:47,553 --> 00:03:49,620
Do you know how many things
I've broken in this house
106
00:03:49,722 --> 00:03:51,755
and glued back together
with no one noticing?
107
00:03:59,398 --> 00:04:01,298
I can fix this thing. No problem.
108
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:03,667
I don't think I could handle
seeing the disappointed look
109
00:04:03,769 --> 00:04:05,869
on Mom's face
if she found out we broke it.
110
00:04:05,971 --> 00:04:06,937
That would kill me.
111
00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:08,772
That's the beauty... there's no guilt.
112
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,808
Because I do such a great job
at fixing things,
113
00:04:10,910 --> 00:04:12,443
there are never any consequences.
114
00:04:12,545 --> 00:04:15,279
Have you ever broken anything
of mine and not told me?
115
00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:16,046
Never.
116
00:04:22,822 --> 00:04:23,954
I don't believe you.
117
00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:25,422
Clever girl.
118
00:04:28,561 --> 00:04:30,461
This is so nasty.
119
00:04:30,563 --> 00:04:32,162
I can't get the meat rolls to stick.
120
00:04:32,231 --> 00:04:34,765
I know. My grandmother
made it look easy.
121
00:04:34,867 --> 00:04:37,267
- But we're making memories.
- Not good ones.
122
00:04:38,504 --> 00:04:40,037
Nobody get the door except Dad!
123
00:04:40,106 --> 00:04:42,306
Greg! Your present's here!
124
00:04:43,509 --> 00:04:44,678
Maybe it's Amazon
125
00:04:44,733 --> 00:04:46,743
with the "Big Book of Shakespearean
Insults" I asked for.
126
00:04:46,846 --> 00:04:48,245
"Methink'st thou art a general offense
127
00:04:48,347 --> 00:04:49,980
and every man should beat thee"!
128
00:04:51,577 --> 00:04:52,620
Okay.
129
00:04:55,521 --> 00:04:57,020
Hello. Are you Greg Otto?
130
00:04:57,123 --> 00:04:58,088
Yeah.
131
00:04:58,190 --> 00:05:00,591
- I'm Greg Otto, too.
- What's that, now?
132
00:05:00,693 --> 00:05:03,640
Greg, this is Greg,
133
00:05:03,719 --> 00:05:05,796
your half-brother
from your father's secret family
134
00:05:05,898 --> 00:05:07,331
all the way from England.
135
00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:10,934
I told you I got you
the perfect Greg Otto gift!
136
00:05:11,036 --> 00:05:12,603
You're my half-brother.
137
00:05:12,705 --> 00:05:14,338
But I'm going to give you a full hug.
138
00:05:15,975 --> 00:05:17,875
I said I wanted the Shakespeare book.
139
00:05:17,913 --> 00:05:18,845
Shakespeare!
140
00:05:20,012 --> 00:05:21,413
Brother!
141
00:05:24,127 --> 00:05:27,630
So, I bet you're wondering
how all of this happened, Greg.
142
00:05:27,732 --> 00:05:30,032
No, it's pretty clear how this happened.
143
00:05:30,101 --> 00:05:32,001
I met a cute girl when I was a TA,
144
00:05:32,069 --> 00:05:33,202
and now I'm here.
145
00:05:33,271 --> 00:05:36,105
A few weeks back,
I found out from Father
146
00:05:36,181 --> 00:05:38,635
that I have a long-lost brother
in the Colonies.
147
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,268
That means America.
148
00:05:40,347 --> 00:05:41,580
Everyone knows that.
149
00:05:41,649 --> 00:05:43,010
Well, that's where you're wrong, Oliver,
150
00:05:43,050 --> 00:05:43,974
because I don't know that.
151
00:05:44,027 --> 00:05:45,760
Look at you, making me feel stupid.
152
00:05:46,825 --> 00:05:48,720
Well, as luck would have it,
when I tracked you down,
153
00:05:48,822 --> 00:05:50,922
your lovely wife
happened to answer the phone.
154
00:05:50,991 --> 00:05:52,582
That was lucky.
155
00:05:52,645 --> 00:05:53,725
I'm a lucky guy.
156
00:05:53,794 --> 00:05:56,795
While we spoke, I mentioned
I was coming to lecture at Yale.
157
00:05:56,864 --> 00:05:58,363
And I said, "Let's keep this a secret
158
00:05:58,432 --> 00:06:01,366
and have you come over as
a surprise gift for Christmas."
159
00:06:01,435 --> 00:06:03,805
British Gregs are flying
off the shelves this year.
160
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,573
It's so cool we have a British uncle.
161
00:06:08,676 --> 00:06:10,442
Here. What's this called?
162
00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:11,710
A biscuit.
163
00:06:11,779 --> 00:06:13,912
Aw, man, that is not
what we call it here at all.
164
00:06:15,115 --> 00:06:16,982
Chiseled face, charming accent.
165
00:06:17,051 --> 00:06:18,550
Would it be okay if I called you "Dad"?
166
00:06:18,652 --> 00:06:19,484
Oliver!
167
00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:21,086
Shh, Greg. I'm talking to my dad.
168
00:06:21,188 --> 00:06:22,988
So, uh...
169
00:06:23,057 --> 00:06:25,924
how did it come up with Father
that you have a brother?
170
00:06:25,993 --> 00:06:27,459
He told me while he was in London
171
00:06:27,528 --> 00:06:29,494
for the Charles Dickens
Holiday Festival.
172
00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:31,430
We've gone together every year
since I was a boy.
173
00:06:31,532 --> 00:06:32,597
How nice.
174
00:06:32,666 --> 00:06:34,599
The only place he ever took me
was the travel agent
175
00:06:34,668 --> 00:06:36,268
so that he could buy
his plane tickets...
176
00:06:38,205 --> 00:06:39,738
...to England.
177
00:06:39,769 --> 00:06:40,835
Ah.
178
00:06:42,710 --> 00:06:44,376
Interesting tidbit...
179
00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:46,611
not only are you both professors,
180
00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,680
but you're both authors, too.
181
00:06:48,749 --> 00:06:51,950
That's right. Greg, I read your
John Stuart Mill book on the plane.
182
00:06:52,052 --> 00:06:53,118
I absolutely loved it.
183
00:06:53,187 --> 00:06:54,219
Thank you.
184
00:06:58,325 --> 00:07:00,959
You need to say
something to him right now.
185
00:07:01,061 --> 00:07:02,761
Talk to him. Say something!
186
00:07:04,698 --> 00:07:06,098
What's your book about?
187
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:07,399
Books, technically.
188
00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:09,968
It's a series of novels
about the Norman Conquest.
189
00:07:11,105 --> 00:07:12,137
A series? Wow.
190
00:07:12,206 --> 00:07:15,033
I mean, don't feel obligated to read it.
191
00:07:15,098 --> 00:07:16,130
It's a lot.
192
00:07:16,166 --> 00:07:17,743
Uh, just wait for it
to come out in theaters.
193
00:07:17,845 --> 00:07:20,378
Unless you don't like George Clooney.
Then just skip it.
194
00:07:20,447 --> 00:07:23,275
Dad, this is crazy.
Uncle Greg is exactly like you,
195
00:07:23,338 --> 00:07:24,716
only the way-better version.
196
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:27,180
What an astute observation, son.
197
00:07:27,258 --> 00:07:29,387
No, seriously.
He's Restoration Hardware,
198
00:07:29,456 --> 00:07:31,590
and you're whatever
discount brand this couch is.
199
00:07:32,659 --> 00:07:35,407
Katie, could you help me change
the toner on the printer?
200
00:07:35,469 --> 00:07:36,628
Why don't you ask Oliver...
201
00:07:36,697 --> 00:07:38,296
It needs to be you,
and it needs to be now.
202
00:07:41,835 --> 00:07:43,135
Is...?
203
00:07:43,237 --> 00:07:45,937
So, if you're looking for
the bathroom, what do you say?
204
00:07:46,039 --> 00:07:47,172
"Which way to the loo?"
205
00:07:47,274 --> 00:07:49,048
Amazing. Clear your Monday.
206
00:07:49,103 --> 00:07:51,176
- I'm taking you to show-and-tell.
- Ah, okay.
207
00:07:53,113 --> 00:07:55,180
Just wondering out loud,
but what made you think
208
00:07:55,249 --> 00:07:56,915
for the holidays, I would want a visit
209
00:07:57,017 --> 00:07:58,784
from my father's
illegitimate love child?
210
00:07:58,886 --> 00:08:00,152
Well, I asked Doris and Angela,
211
00:08:00,254 --> 00:08:01,953
and they said I definitely should.
212
00:08:02,022 --> 00:08:04,422
- Definitely don't do that.
- That is the worst idea I've ever heard.
213
00:08:04,491 --> 00:08:06,892
Mm... you know what? I'm gonna do it.
214
00:08:06,994 --> 00:08:08,326
I just thought it would be nice for you
215
00:08:08,395 --> 00:08:09,528
to have more family in your life
216
00:08:09,596 --> 00:08:11,029
since you stopped talking
to your parents.
217
00:08:11,131 --> 00:08:12,464
I don't need more family in my life,
218
00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:14,432
and I don't need you
meddling in my business.
219
00:08:14,501 --> 00:08:16,701
That's a wife's job.
I'm mucking around in your pond.
220
00:08:16,804 --> 00:08:19,104
- What?
- Your pond. Your emotional pond.
221
00:08:19,173 --> 00:08:20,802
- What does that mean?
- On the surface,
222
00:08:20,856 --> 00:08:22,278
a pond is still and tranquil.
223
00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:23,408
You got to get down to the bottom
224
00:08:23,477 --> 00:08:24,709
and bring all the bad stuff up.
225
00:08:24,757 --> 00:08:25,777
Why would you want to do that?!
226
00:08:25,846 --> 00:08:27,112
To heal? I don't know.
227
00:08:27,181 --> 00:08:29,381
I don't write the Lifetime
movies, Greg. I just watch them.
228
00:08:29,449 --> 00:08:32,951
Now, listen... I love you,
and I'm trying to help you.
229
00:08:33,020 --> 00:08:35,205
So go out there and appreciate it.
230
00:08:35,284 --> 00:08:36,417
Fine.
231
00:08:38,603 --> 00:08:39,624
But for the record,
232
00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:41,800
are we really sure
he is who he says he is?
233
00:08:41,878 --> 00:08:42,794
He could be grifting us.
234
00:08:42,863 --> 00:08:43,995
I'll be sure to lock up
235
00:08:44,064 --> 00:08:45,831
our collection of ketchup packets.
236
00:08:50,737 --> 00:08:53,138
Look! Uncle Greg figured out how
to make the meat rolls stick.
237
00:08:53,207 --> 00:08:54,739
I spent a little time in Bavaria.
238
00:08:54,808 --> 00:08:56,508
I know my way around a meat tree.
239
00:08:56,610 --> 00:08:57,642
What were you doing there?
240
00:08:57,711 --> 00:08:59,911
I guess just being handsome
and younger than me.
241
00:09:18,065 --> 00:09:19,598
Looks good.
242
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:20,632
Fan me.
243
00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:27,172
- What do we do now?
- We'll wait for it to dry.
244
00:09:27,241 --> 00:09:29,608
In the meantime, we'll go
downstairs and act natural.
245
00:09:29,676 --> 00:09:31,276
I don't like lying to Mom.
246
00:09:31,378 --> 00:09:33,211
It's not a lie. It's a cover-up.
247
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:36,298
Like how the moon landing was
filmed on a soundstage in Arizona?
248
00:09:37,551 --> 00:09:39,050
The Internet is not good for you.
249
00:09:39,152 --> 00:09:40,752
I'm just grabbing Nana's platter.
250
00:09:40,821 --> 00:09:42,787
Then I'm coming right back
to meat tree it up!
251
00:09:42,856 --> 00:09:45,023
She's coming up for the platter.
We're so busted!
252
00:09:46,026 --> 00:09:47,225
Relax.
253
00:09:47,294 --> 00:09:48,960
We'll do that thing
where we fight in front of her
254
00:09:49,029 --> 00:09:50,295
and she gets annoyed and then forgets
255
00:09:50,364 --> 00:09:53,031
what she was gonna do
in the first place.
256
00:09:57,271 --> 00:09:58,703
Follow me.
257
00:10:01,875 --> 00:10:03,875
Mom, Oliver ate all the M&M's
258
00:10:03,977 --> 00:10:05,810
out of my giant Christmas candy cane.
259
00:10:05,879 --> 00:10:07,112
I didn't see your name on it!
260
00:10:07,180 --> 00:10:08,747
My name is literally written on it
261
00:10:08,815 --> 00:10:11,116
in huge, green, sparkly letters!
262
00:10:11,184 --> 00:10:13,184
- Well, maybe if you...
- Hey, can you guys please stop?
263
00:10:13,287 --> 00:10:15,620
All I want for Christmas
is for you two to get along.
264
00:10:15,689 --> 00:10:16,988
Is that too much to ask?
265
00:10:17,057 --> 00:10:18,223
- No.
- No.
266
00:10:18,292 --> 00:10:19,304
Thank you.
267
00:10:19,343 --> 00:10:20,984
Wait. Why did I come up here?
268
00:10:21,039 --> 00:10:24,462
To ask us to come downstairs
and visit more with Uncle Greg?
269
00:10:24,564 --> 00:10:25,964
Oh, right!
270
00:10:26,066 --> 00:10:28,033
Don't take long.
271
00:10:28,135 --> 00:10:29,200
Whoa.
272
00:10:29,269 --> 00:10:30,869
You just controlled her mind.
273
00:10:30,938 --> 00:10:33,238
You're like that fungus
that gets into an ant's brain,
274
00:10:33,307 --> 00:10:35,106
then makes the ant climb
to the top of a tree
275
00:10:35,175 --> 00:10:36,508
and then blows up the ant's head
276
00:10:36,576 --> 00:10:39,244
so the fungal spores
go all over the forest.
277
00:10:40,447 --> 00:10:42,213
Yeah, I guess I am.
278
00:10:45,085 --> 00:10:46,551
Oh. Hey.
279
00:10:46,653 --> 00:10:48,067
Hope you don't mind.
280
00:10:48,137 --> 00:10:49,587
Just snooping around your office a bit.
281
00:10:49,656 --> 00:10:52,490
Ah, these photos of your family
are lovely.
282
00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:54,914
All I have on my walls
are degrees and awards.
283
00:10:54,977 --> 00:10:57,228
Yeah. We all get it.
284
00:10:57,297 --> 00:10:59,383
You're the more successful
brother. Congrats.
285
00:10:59,461 --> 00:11:01,700
What? Oh, no, you've got it all wrong.
286
00:11:01,768 --> 00:11:04,636
You've got the lovely wife
and the three amazing kids.
287
00:11:04,738 --> 00:11:06,438
I'm all alone.
288
00:11:06,506 --> 00:11:08,473
No, you're the more successful brother.
289
00:11:08,575 --> 00:11:10,208
I am?
290
00:11:10,277 --> 00:11:11,943
That's why I came to America so quickly
291
00:11:12,012 --> 00:11:14,612
when I found out I had a sibling.
292
00:11:14,681 --> 00:11:17,315
I mean, the one thing
I've always wanted is a family.
293
00:11:17,417 --> 00:11:18,583
You never married?
294
00:11:18,685 --> 00:11:21,052
No, just a series of vapid models,
295
00:11:21,121 --> 00:11:24,456
bouncing around from
nimble woman to nimble woman,
296
00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:25,557
most of them half my age.
297
00:11:25,625 --> 00:11:27,792
Let's move on from your sad love life.
298
00:11:27,894 --> 00:11:30,128
But you understand
the importance of family.
299
00:11:30,197 --> 00:11:32,063
That's why I'm sure
you would've tracked me down
300
00:11:32,132 --> 00:11:33,465
as soon as you found out about me,
301
00:11:33,533 --> 00:11:36,401
but Katie cooked up
this little surprise instead.
302
00:11:36,470 --> 00:11:38,280
Yeah. O-Of course.
303
00:11:38,304 --> 00:11:39,372
I-I would've come running.
304
00:11:39,373 --> 00:11:41,840
Greg! Can you come in here, please?
305
00:11:41,942 --> 00:11:42,907
- Coming.
- Coming.
306
00:11:43,010 --> 00:11:45,510
Oh, that's... probably you.
307
00:11:46,913 --> 00:11:48,580
Look who's here, Greg... my mother.
308
00:11:48,682 --> 00:11:49,814
What a surprise.
309
00:11:49,916 --> 00:11:52,684
Yeah, well, uh, Greg called me and said
310
00:11:52,786 --> 00:11:54,953
how much you missed me,
so I just stuffed your father
311
00:11:55,022 --> 00:11:56,888
with the loose pills I found
at the bottom of my purse
312
00:11:56,990 --> 00:11:57,989
and came right over.
313
00:11:58,058 --> 00:11:59,735
Oh, that is so sweet of him.
314
00:11:59,805 --> 00:12:01,026
Greg, can you come in the office
315
00:12:01,094 --> 00:12:02,761
and help me check
on the printer toner again?
316
00:12:02,829 --> 00:12:04,429
- Katie, I can...
- We're low on magenta, Greg.
317
00:12:04,531 --> 00:12:05,730
We're low.
318
00:12:09,503 --> 00:12:10,602
Happy Christmas.
319
00:12:10,670 --> 00:12:11,970
I have no idea who you are,
320
00:12:12,072 --> 00:12:14,572
but I have a feeling you know
how to make a rum hot toddy.
321
00:12:14,674 --> 00:12:17,675
- That, I do.
- All right, then.
322
00:12:17,744 --> 00:12:19,577
Oh, my God.
323
00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:21,413
A meat tree?
324
00:12:21,515 --> 00:12:23,681
I thought I buried
that tradition with my mother.
325
00:12:25,385 --> 00:12:27,519
Um, what the hell, Greg?
326
00:12:27,587 --> 00:12:28,720
Let me explain.
327
00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:31,256
When I invited your mom,
it was in retaliation
328
00:12:31,324 --> 00:12:33,725
to you inviting my brother
without asking me.
329
00:12:33,794 --> 00:12:36,494
But in the meantime...
and here's the funny twist...
330
00:12:36,563 --> 00:12:38,596
my brother and I had
a really nice moment,
331
00:12:38,698 --> 00:12:40,398
and I realized you were right.
332
00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:42,000
I am super mad at you.
333
00:12:42,102 --> 00:12:43,635
But real quick... what am I right about?
334
00:12:43,703 --> 00:12:46,071
I do regret not calling
my brother for two years.
335
00:12:46,139 --> 00:12:49,207
My pond needed to be mucked.
336
00:12:49,309 --> 00:12:50,542
Maybe yours does, too.
337
00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:53,611
Maybe me revenge-inviting your mom
338
00:12:53,713 --> 00:12:54,779
was a good thing.
339
00:12:54,848 --> 00:12:56,681
I just wanted to bond with Taylor,
340
00:12:56,783 --> 00:12:59,350
and now my mother is going to ruin it.
341
00:12:59,453 --> 00:13:01,989
In the future, leave the mucking
to the professionals.
342
00:13:03,156 --> 00:13:06,291
♪ You better watch out,
you better not cry ♪
343
00:13:06,359 --> 00:13:09,727
♪ You better not pout,
I'm tellin' you why ♪
344
00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:10,829
♪ Santa Claus... ♪
345
00:13:10,897 --> 00:13:13,298
Wow. He plays the piano, too.
346
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,433
He has a very sad, lonely life.
347
00:13:15,535 --> 00:13:18,095
♪ Santa Claus is comin' ♪
348
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:23,181
♪ To toooooooooooown ♪
349
00:13:24,377 --> 00:13:26,244
What a nice Christmas
this is turning out to be.
350
00:13:26,346 --> 00:13:28,246
I'm just thrilled to be
with family this year.
351
00:13:28,315 --> 00:13:30,782
Oh, Greg, your brother is fabulous.
352
00:13:30,884 --> 00:13:33,051
Why did it take you two years
to get in touch with him?
353
00:13:33,153 --> 00:13:34,786
Pardon?
354
00:13:34,888 --> 00:13:37,122
Yeah, yeah, two years ago Thanksgiving,
355
00:13:37,224 --> 00:13:38,656
Greg's mother let it slip
356
00:13:38,758 --> 00:13:40,859
that his dad had a second family.
357
00:13:40,927 --> 00:13:43,394
Ugh. It was so uncomfortable.
358
00:13:43,497 --> 00:13:45,330
And everybody was miserable.
359
00:13:45,432 --> 00:13:46,831
I loved it.
360
00:13:47,801 --> 00:13:49,868
You knew about me two years ago
361
00:13:49,970 --> 00:13:51,302
and never thought to call?
362
00:13:51,404 --> 00:13:52,370
It's complicated, Greg.
363
00:13:52,472 --> 00:13:54,639
You lied to me, Greg.
364
00:13:54,741 --> 00:13:56,975
That makes you no better than Dad.
365
00:13:57,077 --> 00:13:58,409
Uh, I need some air.
366
00:14:00,213 --> 00:14:01,446
Ooh.
367
00:14:01,548 --> 00:14:02,947
This could give that Thanksgiving
368
00:14:03,049 --> 00:14:04,649
a run for its money.
369
00:14:04,751 --> 00:14:07,352
Now I see why you didn't want
your mother here for Christmas.
370
00:14:07,454 --> 00:14:09,687
Wait, w... You...
You didn't want me here?
371
00:14:09,789 --> 00:14:11,789
Then why did he call me
and say that you did?
372
00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:13,458
He invited you here to get back at me
373
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:16,628
for inviting his brother
without asking him.
374
00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:19,330
Oh, so this was a spite invite?
375
00:14:19,432 --> 00:14:22,467
Just for that,
I am staying for two weeks.
376
00:14:22,569 --> 00:14:24,769
I didn't know you didn't
want to see your brother,
377
00:14:24,871 --> 00:14:26,838
but you knew I didn't
want to see my mother.
378
00:14:26,940 --> 00:14:28,740
I'm staying three weeks,
379
00:14:28,842 --> 00:14:30,141
and I'm wearing the shorty robe.
380
00:14:40,593 --> 00:14:43,004
There goes the drama-free
Christmas we wanted.
381
00:14:43,089 --> 00:14:44,555
Worst part is, it's all our fault.
382
00:14:44,621 --> 00:14:47,742
Should've just gotten you the
flashlight I saw on Facebook.
383
00:14:47,812 --> 00:14:50,141
It also can break a windshield
if you drive into a lake.
384
00:14:50,187 --> 00:14:54,069
Smart. I'm gonna go out front
and wait for my brother.
385
00:14:54,137 --> 00:14:55,470
You go deal with your mom.
386
00:14:55,534 --> 00:14:57,745
Why are the holidays about family?
387
00:14:57,808 --> 00:14:59,774
Why can't it just be about Chinese food
388
00:14:59,843 --> 00:15:01,343
and going to the movies?
389
00:15:01,445 --> 00:15:02,577
Should we become Jewish?
390
00:15:02,679 --> 00:15:03,745
I don't know. Maybe.
391
00:15:03,847 --> 00:15:04,946
Ehh.
392
00:15:13,423 --> 00:15:16,291
- Hi, Mom.
- I get it. You hate me.
393
00:15:16,393 --> 00:15:18,627
Is it because I missed
most of your birthday parties?
394
00:15:18,695 --> 00:15:20,862
Or because I made out with
your boyfriend in high school?
395
00:15:20,931 --> 00:15:22,564
- Because I told you...
- Mom, I know.
396
00:15:22,633 --> 00:15:24,566
He kissed you, and you were
just being polite.
397
00:15:24,635 --> 00:15:25,667
Exactly.
398
00:15:25,769 --> 00:15:27,102
You're making this very hard for me
399
00:15:27,170 --> 00:15:28,870
to say I'm sorry about all this.
400
00:15:28,939 --> 00:15:31,339
Well, why didn't you want me
to come to Christmas Eve dinner?
401
00:15:31,441 --> 00:15:32,507
I knew you would get in the way
402
00:15:32,609 --> 00:15:34,309
of me doing my thing with Taylor.
403
00:15:34,378 --> 00:15:36,211
You tend to be somewhat judgmental.
404
00:15:36,279 --> 00:15:37,479
Oh, stop it. I...
405
00:15:38,882 --> 00:15:40,782
Oh. Where'd you get this wine?
The car wash?
406
00:15:42,452 --> 00:15:43,918
I see.
407
00:15:44,021 --> 00:15:45,420
Building this with Taylor this year
408
00:15:45,489 --> 00:15:47,656
was just too important
for you to mess up.
409
00:15:47,724 --> 00:15:49,124
Well, why is this year so important?
410
00:15:49,192 --> 00:15:51,660
Because next year,
she's going off to college,
411
00:15:51,762 --> 00:15:54,029
and this is her last Christmas at home.
412
00:15:54,131 --> 00:15:55,330
So? She'll be back.
413
00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:57,265
I told you I'd come back,
and I never did.
414
00:15:57,367 --> 00:15:58,700
Yeah, but why would you come back?
415
00:15:58,769 --> 00:16:01,136
I mean, I was a terrible mother.
You're not.
416
00:16:01,204 --> 00:16:03,271
You take an interest in Taylor's life.
417
00:16:03,340 --> 00:16:05,574
She'll be back.
418
00:16:08,929 --> 00:16:09,978
You think?
419
00:16:10,049 --> 00:16:11,315
Trust me.
420
00:16:12,516 --> 00:16:16,518
Uh... my Spam angel
isn't exactly turning out.
421
00:16:16,620 --> 00:16:18,253
Don't worry about it.
422
00:16:18,321 --> 00:16:21,156
- Meat tree is off.
- Yes!
423
00:16:21,258 --> 00:16:22,424
You're the best mom.
424
00:16:22,492 --> 00:16:25,260
How about we start a new
tradition that's not nauseating?
425
00:16:25,328 --> 00:16:27,762
Something that the three of us
can do together.
426
00:16:27,846 --> 00:16:28,916
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
427
00:16:28,963 --> 00:16:30,065
We could build a snowman.
428
00:16:30,133 --> 00:16:31,466
I don't think Grandma wants to stand
429
00:16:31,535 --> 00:16:32,767
out in the freezing cold, honey.
430
00:16:32,869 --> 00:16:35,036
Actually, Grandma has
her own holiday tradition
431
00:16:35,138 --> 00:16:36,385
that keeps her very warm.
432
00:16:37,541 --> 00:16:38,707
Mm.
433
00:16:38,775 --> 00:16:40,408
What are we gonna do with this?
434
00:16:45,415 --> 00:16:48,583
Even he thinks it's gross.
435
00:16:48,685 --> 00:16:51,386
It's not Christmas
without Nana's platter, Mom.
436
00:16:51,455 --> 00:16:52,787
That's what I went upstairs for.
437
00:16:52,856 --> 00:16:53,955
Thank you, sweetie.
438
00:17:04,334 --> 00:17:05,567
What the hell?
439
00:17:05,669 --> 00:17:08,603
That platter survived two world wars
440
00:17:08,672 --> 00:17:11,506
and Lee Majors' Christmas Bacchanalia.
441
00:17:13,710 --> 00:17:16,957
I can't believe I did this.
442
00:17:21,184 --> 00:17:23,218
Mom, it wasn't your fault.
443
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,053
You didn't break the platter. We did.
444
00:17:25,122 --> 00:17:26,821
We glued it back together,
445
00:17:26,890 --> 00:17:28,690
but we didn't let it dry long enough.
446
00:17:28,792 --> 00:17:31,259
I can't believe the two of you did this.
447
00:17:31,328 --> 00:17:34,095
Anna-Kat was there, but I
convinced her to cover it up.
448
00:17:34,164 --> 00:17:36,364
Oliver, you are in so much troub...
449
00:17:36,466 --> 00:17:38,666
To be fair, Mom,
all you wanted for Christmas
450
00:17:38,735 --> 00:17:41,569
was for us to get along, and...
451
00:17:41,671 --> 00:17:43,772
look at us.
452
00:17:43,874 --> 00:17:46,541
So you're saying you worked
together to deceive me,
453
00:17:46,643 --> 00:17:47,942
and that's how you got along?
454
00:17:48,044 --> 00:17:50,044
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
455
00:17:50,113 --> 00:17:51,880
Okay.
456
00:17:51,948 --> 00:17:55,884
But because of this,
you two are going to repair it
457
00:17:55,952 --> 00:17:57,819
so that Taylor can inherit it.
458
00:17:57,888 --> 00:18:00,321
You seriously don't have
one piece of jewelry to give me?
459
00:18:00,423 --> 00:18:02,023
Mnh-mnh.
460
00:18:09,733 --> 00:18:11,266
It's pretty cold out here for a walk.
461
00:18:11,334 --> 00:18:12,834
You've been gone a while.
462
00:18:12,903 --> 00:18:14,569
"Blow, blow, thou winter wind,
463
00:18:14,638 --> 00:18:18,173
thou art not so unkind
as man's ingratitude."
464
00:18:18,275 --> 00:18:19,541
I deserve that.
465
00:18:19,609 --> 00:18:22,243
Nothing stings quite as much
as a good Shakespearean burn.
466
00:18:23,413 --> 00:18:24,913
I'm sorry I didn't try and find you
467
00:18:25,015 --> 00:18:26,981
as soon as Dad told me I had a brother.
468
00:18:27,083 --> 00:18:29,117
I think I was still angry with him,
469
00:18:29,186 --> 00:18:31,452
and I took it out on you.
470
00:18:31,555 --> 00:18:33,154
Yeah, I can see that.
471
00:18:33,256 --> 00:18:34,622
Now that I've met you, I understand
472
00:18:34,691 --> 00:18:36,124
why he never approved of anything I did.
473
00:18:36,226 --> 00:18:39,460
He had another son
he approved of... you.
474
00:18:39,529 --> 00:18:41,129
That's not really the truth, Greg.
475
00:18:41,198 --> 00:18:43,298
I was sent away to
boarding school when I was 7.
476
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,767
Dad saw me two weeks a year.
477
00:18:45,869 --> 00:18:47,669
I now realize that's 'cause he was here
478
00:18:47,771 --> 00:18:49,337
the rest of the year... with you.
479
00:18:49,406 --> 00:18:52,507
He was, but he took
absolutely no interest in me.
480
00:18:52,576 --> 00:18:53,608
Ah.
481
00:18:53,710 --> 00:18:55,243
So I guess we were both neglected,
482
00:18:55,345 --> 00:18:57,579
just in different ways.
483
00:18:57,647 --> 00:18:59,147
It's funny...
you're the only other person
484
00:18:59,249 --> 00:19:00,782
who knows what it's like
to have our father.
485
00:19:00,884 --> 00:19:03,484
And who knows the crazy sound
he makes after he sneezes.
486
00:19:03,553 --> 00:19:05,019
Achoo-floo-floo!
487
00:19:05,088 --> 00:19:06,788
- What is that?
- I don't know.
488
00:19:06,890 --> 00:19:09,824
So... brothers?
489
00:19:09,926 --> 00:19:11,431
Ah, brothers.
490
00:19:13,964 --> 00:19:15,530
I think it's time we show these kids
491
00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:17,065
how to have a real snowball fight!
492
00:19:17,167 --> 00:19:18,733
Come on, American Greg!
493
00:19:21,504 --> 00:19:23,004
So, Dad never taught you
to throw a ball, either?
494
00:19:23,106 --> 00:19:24,572
- No, he did not.
- Mm.
495
00:19:24,674 --> 00:19:25,907
Let's get 'em!
496
00:19:35,252 --> 00:19:36,343
- It is?
- Mm-hmm.
497
00:19:36,403 --> 00:19:37,502
Thank you.
498
00:19:43,193 --> 00:19:44,659
You want to cock it back...
499
00:19:44,761 --> 00:19:47,295
- Okay.
- ...step, throw.
500
00:19:55,438 --> 00:19:58,206
When everyone's asleep,
let's add our gifts to Santa's.
501
00:19:59,175 --> 00:20:00,308
Now that I have a brother,
502
00:20:00,410 --> 00:20:02,243
we have so much brother stuff
to catch up on.
503
00:20:02,345 --> 00:20:06,481
I'm glad that you're excited
that you have a brother.
504
00:20:06,583 --> 00:20:07,582
I am.
505
00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:09,317
I'm glad you mucked in my pond.
506
00:20:09,419 --> 00:20:10,418
Thank you, honey.
507
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:11,786
Uh, quick question.
508
00:20:11,888 --> 00:20:14,856
I know that Taylor is,
but is Oliver of drinking age?
509
00:20:14,958 --> 00:20:16,691
None of the kids
are old enough to drink.
510
00:20:16,793 --> 00:20:18,359
Right.
511
00:20:18,461 --> 00:20:20,128
I knew that.
512
00:20:20,230 --> 00:20:21,696
Kids, bad news!
513
00:20:22,852 --> 00:20:25,599
Next time, Greg,
just drown me in the pond.
514
00:20:27,256 --> 00:20:30,247
♪ Hark! The herald angels sing ♪
515
00:20:30,326 --> 00:20:33,126
♪ "Glory to the newborn King ♪
516
00:20:33,228 --> 00:20:36,047
♪ Peace on Earth and mercy mild ♪
517
00:20:36,125 --> 00:20:38,844
♪ God and sinners reconciled" ♪
518
00:20:38,901 --> 00:20:41,969
♪ Joyful, all ye nations rise ♪
519
00:20:42,055 --> 00:20:45,038
♪ Join the triumph of the skies ♪
520
00:20:45,140 --> 00:20:47,918
♪ With angelic hosts proclaim ♪
521
00:20:47,988 --> 00:20:50,910
♪ "Christ is born in Bethlehem" ♪
522
00:20:50,996 --> 00:20:53,394
♪ Hark! The herald a... ♪
523
00:20:54,789 --> 00:20:55,835
Oliver.
524
00:20:55,912 --> 00:20:59,412
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com