1
00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:03,080
Trip and I are going
to the movies tonight.

2
00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:04,540
Cooper and I
are going, too.

3
00:00:04,540 --> 00:00:05,960
Oh, cool! I like movies.
Maybe I'll tag along.

4
00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:08,000
Sorry, I misspoke.
I meant mini-golf.
Yeah, me, too.

5
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,620
Oh, I like mini-golf.

6
00:00:09,620 --> 00:00:10,920
What do you not like, Dad?
Because we're doing that.

7
00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:12,170
Yeah, me, too.

8
00:00:12,170 --> 00:00:14,290
All right, you go.
Have fun.

9
00:00:14,290 --> 00:00:15,620
Anna-Kat, hurry up.
You're gonna be late.

10
00:00:15,620 --> 00:00:17,250
Where's your backpack?
Upstairs.

11
00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:18,420
I'll get it.

12
00:00:18,420 --> 00:00:20,330
Quick, finish your breakfast.
Bigger bites.

13
00:00:20,330 --> 00:00:21,750
Put it down like a snake.

14
00:00:21,750 --> 00:00:30,540
♪♪

15
00:00:30,540 --> 00:00:31,880
[ Sighs ]

16
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:32,830
Where's your sweatshirt?

17
00:00:32,830 --> 00:00:34,750
Next to my backpack.

18
00:00:34,750 --> 00:00:36,580
[ Exhales sharply ]

19
00:00:36,580 --> 00:00:44,830
♪♪

20
00:00:44,830 --> 00:00:46,500
[ Sighs ]

21
00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:49,080
Anna-Kat, you're only wearing
one sneaker.

22
00:00:50,620 --> 00:00:51,670
Oh, yeah.

23
00:00:51,670 --> 00:00:53,040
♪♪

24
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:54,500
[ Sighs ]

25
00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:59,920
♪♪

26
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:03,250
[ Breathing heavily ]

27
00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:08,580
♪♪

28
00:01:08,580 --> 00:01:09,120
Catch!

29
00:01:12,710 --> 00:01:13,620
[ Exhales deeply ]

30
00:01:13,620 --> 00:01:15,290
Are you okay?

31
00:01:15,290 --> 00:01:16,460
[ Sighs ]

32
00:01:16,460 --> 00:01:19,420
I know I am this close
to turning 40,

33
00:01:19,420 --> 00:01:21,380
but I don't think
that I can blame age

34
00:01:21,380 --> 00:01:23,670
for getting tired
halfway up the stairs.

35
00:01:23,670 --> 00:01:25,290
Blame me.
I'm a very easy target.

36
00:01:25,290 --> 00:01:28,170
I just don't love how I feel
in my body right now.

37
00:01:28,170 --> 00:01:30,120
I don't feel attractive.

38
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,460
I might need
to change some things up.

39
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,420
I like how you are
right now.

40
00:01:34,420 --> 00:01:36,000
But if you feel like
you should change,

41
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,790
then you should go ahead
and make that change.

42
00:01:37,790 --> 00:01:39,170
And I'm sure
that if you make the change

43
00:01:39,170 --> 00:01:40,290
that I'd like
the new you

44
00:01:40,290 --> 00:01:41,580
as much as I like
the current you,

45
00:01:41,580 --> 00:01:42,750
as you are.

46
00:01:42,750 --> 00:01:43,920
Currently.

47
00:01:45,290 --> 00:01:47,380
I wasn't fishing
for a nervous compliment, Greg.

48
00:01:47,380 --> 00:01:49,120
I'm just
making a statement.

49
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,120
Oh.

50
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:52,960
Do you think you could
take the kids to school?

51
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:54,580
I'm just gonna stay here.

52
00:01:54,580 --> 00:01:56,210
I know
it's only 8:00 a.m.,

53
00:01:56,210 --> 00:01:58,460
but I feel like
I've done enough.

54
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,000
♪♪

55
00:02:05,620 --> 00:02:07,830
[ Knock on door ]

56
00:02:07,830 --> 00:02:10,170
Doris' husband, Richard,
is here to see you.

57
00:02:10,170 --> 00:02:11,500
That's weird.

58
00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:12,620
Send him in, I guess.

59
00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:15,750
Hey, Angela.
Hey.

60
00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:17,620
Sorry to just
pop in like this,

61
00:02:17,620 --> 00:02:20,500
but I'm wondering if I can...
talk to you about a situation.

62
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:21,790
Ah.

63
00:02:21,790 --> 00:02:23,790
Okay, Richard,
let's hear it.

64
00:02:23,790 --> 00:02:25,790
I don't know why,
but because I'm a lesbian,

65
00:02:25,790 --> 00:02:28,420
everyone wants to tell me
their one gay experience, so...

66
00:02:28,420 --> 00:02:29,540
come on.

67
00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:30,330
No.

68
00:02:30,330 --> 00:02:31,790
I'm going to
divorce Doris,

69
00:02:31,790 --> 00:02:33,830
and I'd like to hire you
as my lawyer.

70
00:02:33,830 --> 00:02:35,380
What?
Oh! [ Laughs ]

71
00:02:35,380 --> 00:02:36,790
Hell no!

72
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:39,170
I am not representing you if
you're divorcing my best friend.

73
00:02:39,170 --> 00:02:40,170
I figured as much.

74
00:02:40,170 --> 00:02:41,500
But now that
I've talked to you,

75
00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:43,750
legally, you can't
represent her against me.

76
00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:44,960
Thanks so much
for your help.

77
00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:50,880
♪♪

78
00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:52,960
[ Sighs ]
Is this a real emergency,

79
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,540
or do you just throw "911"
on a text

80
00:02:54,540 --> 00:02:56,210
like when my kids
run out

81
00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:58,040
of those little
Trader Joe's ice cream cones?

82
00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:00,080
Richard is
divorcing Doris.

83
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,380
What?

84
00:03:01,380 --> 00:03:03,120
He came to my office today
to talk to me

85
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,540
so that Doris couldn't
hire me as her lawyer.

86
00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:05,790
[ Gasps ]

87
00:03:05,790 --> 00:03:07,000
Meryl Streep's lawyer

88
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,080
told her to do that
on "Big Little Lies"!

89
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:10,540
I know. What'd you think
of her teeth?

90
00:03:10,540 --> 00:03:11,790
I found them distracting.

91
00:03:11,790 --> 00:03:13,080
See, I thought
they made her character.

92
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:14,460
We're getting off track.
Right.

93
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:15,750
Listen,
we need to figure out

94
00:03:15,750 --> 00:03:17,380
how we're gonna play this
when Doris tells us

95
00:03:17,380 --> 00:03:19,080
because she's probably
gonna be a total mess.

96
00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:20,710
Hey!
What's up, bitches?

97
00:03:20,710 --> 00:03:22,170
Oh!
There she is!

98
00:03:22,170 --> 00:03:23,380
Hey, girl.

99
00:03:23,380 --> 00:03:25,080
So, what are we
talking about?

100
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,460
Oh, you know, the usual.

101
00:03:27,460 --> 00:03:30,620
Greg, blah, blah, blah,
my kids, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh.

102
00:03:30,620 --> 00:03:33,290
I'm gay. [ Chuckles ]
[ Chuckles ]

103
00:03:33,290 --> 00:03:34,750
You guys are being weird.
Why are you being weird?

104
00:03:34,750 --> 00:03:35,830
Who's acting weird?

105
00:03:35,830 --> 00:03:37,000
I am gay.

106
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,460
[ Nervous laughter ]

107
00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:43,000
So, Doris...
anything new?

108
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,580
Oh!

109
00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:46,380
I think I might be done brushing
my teeth in the morning.

110
00:03:46,380 --> 00:03:47,880
Now I just chew gum
and go like this.

111
00:03:48,830 --> 00:03:50,500
That's neat.

112
00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:52,580
I'm gonna step out real quick
to use the bathroom.

113
00:03:52,580 --> 00:04:02,290
♪♪

114
00:04:02,290 --> 00:04:03,380
I gotta poop.

115
00:04:03,380 --> 00:04:08,750
♪♪

116
00:04:08,750 --> 00:04:10,580
[ Sighs ]
She doesn't know.

117
00:04:10,580 --> 00:04:12,000
Well,
we have to tell her.

118
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,330
Richard told you.
You tell her.

119
00:04:13,330 --> 00:04:15,000
No!
I sit next to her.

120
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,880
I am within
fork-stabbing distance.

121
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,330
And you know Doris does not
react well to bad news.

122
00:04:19,330 --> 00:04:20,210
[ Groans ]

123
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:22,670
Sorry about that.

124
00:04:22,670 --> 00:04:24,000
Everything good?

125
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,420
So good.
[ Chuckles ]

126
00:04:25,420 --> 00:04:27,790
Angela, did you have
any interesting visitors

127
00:04:27,790 --> 00:04:29,710
at the office
this morning?

128
00:04:29,710 --> 00:04:32,500
Oh, Katie,
work is so boring.

129
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:34,000
Let's talk about gossip.

130
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,620
Have you heard anything gossipy
this morning?

131
00:04:36,620 --> 00:04:40,290
♪♪

132
00:04:40,290 --> 00:04:43,040
Would you excuse me
one more time?

133
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,830
♪♪

134
00:04:45,830 --> 00:04:47,580
[ Chuckles ]

135
00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:48,580
♪♪

136
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:49,880
Part two.

137
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:52,580
♪♪

138
00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:54,670
You need to cool it
on that flaxseed.

139
00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:58,210
I thought
you were gonna tell her.
I thought you were!

140
00:04:58,210 --> 00:05:00,080
Well, you've known her
longer and --

141
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,250
One, two, three,
not it!

142
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:04,540
What the hell
is going on?

143
00:05:04,540 --> 00:05:06,960
Are you guys doing
bathroom drugs without me?

144
00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,540
Because that would be
so mean!

145
00:05:08,540 --> 00:05:11,710
Doris...I think
you should sit down.

146
00:05:13,250 --> 00:05:14,170
Come on.

147
00:05:18,290 --> 00:05:20,960
There's no easy way
to say this.

148
00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:24,580
Richard is
leaving you.

149
00:05:24,580 --> 00:05:26,170
[ Laughs ]

150
00:05:26,170 --> 00:05:29,170
Yeah, right.
I wish!

151
00:05:29,170 --> 00:05:30,790
No.
No, we're serious.

152
00:05:30,790 --> 00:05:32,960
He came to see me
at the office today

153
00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:34,580
so that
I couldn't represent you.

154
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:37,460
Like in "Big Little Lies."

155
00:05:37,460 --> 00:05:39,540
We're so sorry, honey.

156
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:46,080
♪♪

157
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,460
Doris. Doris!

158
00:05:47,460 --> 00:05:48,580
Sorry.

159
00:05:48,580 --> 00:05:49,500
Doris!

160
00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:51,380
[ Breathing heavily ]

161
00:05:51,380 --> 00:05:53,460
You keep chasing her!

162
00:05:53,460 --> 00:05:55,750
I'll wait here
in case she circles back.

163
00:05:57,420 --> 00:05:58,670
[ Exhales deeply ]

164
00:05:58,670 --> 00:06:00,250
♪♪

165
00:06:00,250 --> 00:06:02,080
Greg: 10 years ago,
the kids and I

166
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,580
were making a surprise cake
for Katie's 30th birthday.

167
00:06:04,580 --> 00:06:06,500
Katie came home early,
caught us in the act,

168
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,170
and took this photo.

169
00:06:08,170 --> 00:06:09,960
It's amazing
what you guys can pull off

170
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:12,040
without a pastry chef
and staff photographer.

171
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,750
It's Katie's
favorite picture.

172
00:06:13,750 --> 00:06:16,040
So I thought for her
40th birthday in a few months,

173
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:17,790
it'd be fun
to re-create this photo.

174
00:06:17,790 --> 00:06:20,330
A nice homemade gift to
remind her how much we love her.

175
00:06:20,330 --> 00:06:21,620
I'm in.

176
00:06:21,620 --> 00:06:23,420
Trip, you...weren't
in the original picture.

177
00:06:23,420 --> 00:06:25,380
Yeah,
but I'm really photogenic.

178
00:06:25,380 --> 00:06:26,880
Check it.

179
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,290
I'm checking it.

180
00:06:28,290 --> 00:06:30,330
When I'm 32,
you'll be 41.

181
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:34,920
I got all the props.

182
00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:38,250
And I made a Babybjorn
out of a backpack

183
00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:39,830
and two seatbelts
for Anna-Kat.

184
00:06:41,290 --> 00:06:43,040
[ Scoffs ] There's no way
that thing will hold Anna-Kat.

185
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:44,120
Don't be so negative.

186
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,670
Then who am I?

187
00:06:47,170 --> 00:06:49,210
We just have to pick a
night when Mom's not home
so we can take the picture.

188
00:06:49,210 --> 00:06:50,460
But she's always home.

189
00:06:50,460 --> 00:06:52,580
She's like that B.O. smell
in Oliver's room.

190
00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:53,670
She refuses to leave.

191
00:06:53,670 --> 00:06:55,880
Fake news.

192
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,080
Oliver, you're wrong.
This'll totally hold her.

193
00:07:01,790 --> 00:07:05,040
♪♪

194
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:07,420
So, they're
getting divorced?

195
00:07:07,420 --> 00:07:09,580
What did Doris do
that finally made him leave her?

196
00:07:09,580 --> 00:07:11,960
Why do you assume
it was Doris?

197
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:13,170
[ Door opens ]
For the same reason
if we get divorced,

198
00:07:13,170 --> 00:07:14,210
people will assume
it was you.

199
00:07:14,210 --> 00:07:16,040
[ Door closes ]
That's fair.

200
00:07:18,540 --> 00:07:19,830
W-What are you doing?

201
00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:20,830
I'm exercising.

202
00:07:20,830 --> 00:07:22,000
Oh.

203
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,380
Thanks for trying
to make me laugh.

204
00:07:24,380 --> 00:07:27,000
Well, you were right.

205
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,420
Richard's leaving me.

206
00:07:28,420 --> 00:07:29,960
I found papers
on the kitchen table.

207
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,540
I'm sorry, Doris.

208
00:07:31,540 --> 00:07:33,420
You know, I-I can't believe
this is happening.

209
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:34,920
I always joked
about me leaving Richard,

210
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:36,380
but I never thought
in a million years

211
00:07:36,380 --> 00:07:37,790
that he'd be the one
leaving me.

212
00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:40,420
Honey,
I know it's so hard.

213
00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:42,210
I know
he's sleeping with someone.

214
00:07:42,210 --> 00:07:43,790
But it can't be
one of the nannies.

215
00:07:43,790 --> 00:07:46,120
No. I'm no dummy,
I went old and ugly.

216
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:47,620
Well, you never know.

217
00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:50,460
Oprah says it's not about
how the other woman looks.

218
00:07:50,460 --> 00:07:52,540
It's about
how she makes your man feel.

219
00:07:54,380 --> 00:07:55,500
What are you doing?

220
00:07:56,830 --> 00:07:58,830
If he's sleeping with someone,
so will I.

221
00:07:58,830 --> 00:08:00,460
We're going out tonight.

222
00:08:00,460 --> 00:08:02,210
You and Angela are gonna be
my wing women.

223
00:08:02,210 --> 00:08:03,210
[ Chuckles ]

224
00:08:03,210 --> 00:08:04,830
I've got to find
a dude to bone.

225
00:08:07,170 --> 00:08:08,620
No.

226
00:08:08,620 --> 00:08:09,710
♪♪

227
00:08:13,380 --> 00:08:17,080
♪♪

228
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,750
Wow!
You look fantastic.

229
00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:22,330
I'm gonna call Doris
and lie

230
00:08:22,330 --> 00:08:24,170
and tell her
one of our idiot kids got lice

231
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,000
and now we all have it.

232
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,540
Actually, that's not a lie.
We probably all do.

233
00:08:28,540 --> 00:08:30,170
I know you don't feel so great
about yourself right now,

234
00:08:30,170 --> 00:08:32,210
but trust me,
you're a catch.

235
00:08:32,210 --> 00:08:34,670
I bet if you didn't have
that ring on, guys would
hit on you all night long.

236
00:08:34,670 --> 00:08:35,880
You're just saying that.

237
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,750
Well...let's find out.

238
00:08:39,460 --> 00:08:42,670
Katie Otto, will you un-marry me
for one night?

239
00:08:42,670 --> 00:08:44,290
Aww.

240
00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:49,620
Just to be clear,
does this actually mean I can --

241
00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:50,670
No!

242
00:08:50,670 --> 00:08:52,620
Good thing I checked.
Mm-hmm.

243
00:08:52,620 --> 00:08:55,250
♪♪

244
00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:57,290
[ Vehicle departs ]

245
00:08:57,290 --> 00:08:59,330
Okay, Mom's gone!

246
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,710
Oliver!
Get down here!

247
00:09:00,710 --> 00:09:02,670
Taylor, Mom's finally
out of the house.

248
00:09:02,670 --> 00:09:04,670
Get out the mixing bowls
and start making the batter.

249
00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:06,920
We need everything to
look exactly like it did
in the original picture.

250
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:08,290
Go throw on
your ducky pajamas.

251
00:09:08,290 --> 00:09:09,710
Dad, we told you.
Cooper and I have plans.

252
00:09:09,710 --> 00:09:11,170
So do me and Trip.

253
00:09:11,170 --> 00:09:12,710
Well, you're gonna
have to cancel.

254
00:09:12,710 --> 00:09:14,170
We might not get
another chance.

255
00:09:14,170 --> 00:09:15,500
We can't cancel.

256
00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:17,580
It's opening night
of the new "Terminator" movie.

257
00:09:17,580 --> 00:09:19,620
If we don't go,
people will ruin it for us.

258
00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:21,500
But if we do go,
we can ruin it for other people.

259
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:23,290
Oliver: Besides,
you signed off on it.

260
00:09:23,290 --> 00:09:24,620
You're always prattling on

261
00:09:24,620 --> 00:09:26,830
about how important it is
to be a man of your word.

262
00:09:26,830 --> 00:09:29,620
Should we just ignore everything
else you've taught us?

263
00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:32,120
Yeah. So should I chat
with strangers on the Internet?

264
00:09:37,170 --> 00:09:39,210
You just got outsmarted
by Taylor.

265
00:09:39,210 --> 00:09:40,670
That can't feel good.

266
00:09:40,670 --> 00:09:42,620
Not necessarily.

267
00:09:42,620 --> 00:09:44,380
Taylor and Oliver are gonna be
grounded for the night.

268
00:09:44,380 --> 00:09:45,920
I just
have to figure out why.

269
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,710
Ooh, shady parenting.

270
00:09:47,710 --> 00:09:49,750
This is usually
Mom's department.

271
00:09:49,750 --> 00:09:51,040
You just got interesting.

272
00:09:52,290 --> 00:09:56,170
[ Indistinct talking,
dance music playing ]

273
00:09:56,170 --> 00:09:58,210
Oh, this is amazing!

274
00:09:58,210 --> 00:10:00,120
Why didn't I do this
a long time ago?!

275
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:01,750
Because you were married!

276
00:10:01,750 --> 00:10:02,790
[ Laughter ]

277
00:10:02,790 --> 00:10:04,750
[ Women laughing ]

278
00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:11,920
♪♪

279
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:13,330
Hi, ladies.

280
00:10:13,330 --> 00:10:16,830
My friend just found out
she's getting divorced,

281
00:10:16,830 --> 00:10:18,750
and this is kind of
her big night out.

282
00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:23,290
So our group are the ones
who need to have the most fun.

283
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,210
Yeah, so we're gonna have to
ask you to leave.

284
00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:26,000
Mm-hmm.

285
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,250
No.

286
00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:30,330
♪♪

287
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,420
I'll give you 500 bucks.

288
00:10:32,420 --> 00:10:34,500
And an extra 50
for those boas and the tiaras.

289
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:35,670
♪♪

290
00:10:35,670 --> 00:10:36,960
[ Laughter ]

291
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:38,170
Here we go!

292
00:10:39,750 --> 00:10:41,670
Whoo!
Oh, yeah!

293
00:10:41,670 --> 00:10:43,880
All right,
who wants to make out?!

294
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:45,210
Ow, ow, ow,
ow, ow, ow.

295
00:10:45,210 --> 00:10:46,330
[ Laughter ]

296
00:10:46,330 --> 00:10:49,580
♪♪

297
00:10:49,580 --> 00:10:51,500
Taylor, close the fridge door,
please.

298
00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:53,460
I'll close it in a sec.
I got my hands full.

299
00:10:55,380 --> 00:10:56,790
When you leave
the door open,

300
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,960
the fridge thinks it needs
to cool the entire house.

301
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,750
I'm just doing my part
to counteract global warming.

302
00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:02,830
Was that attitude?

303
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,000
Total attitude.

304
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,580
No, no. I --

305
00:11:05,580 --> 00:11:06,960
For the first time, I think
I was actually being clever.

306
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,080
You're grounded.

307
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:10,380
No movie for you tonight.
What?!

308
00:11:10,380 --> 00:11:11,580
And since you're grounded
for the night,

309
00:11:11,580 --> 00:11:13,420
now you'll be able
to take that picture after all.

310
00:11:13,420 --> 00:11:15,250
[ Sighs ]
You've got to be kidding me.

311
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:19,580
If you'll excuse us,

312
00:11:19,580 --> 00:11:21,330
Cooper and I are gonna
go up to my room

313
00:11:21,330 --> 00:11:23,000
and sit silently
with our hands folded

314
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,330
until the movie starts.

315
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,250
He's onto us.

316
00:11:29,250 --> 00:11:30,330
I know.

317
00:11:30,330 --> 00:11:31,620
We have Taylor,

318
00:11:31,620 --> 00:11:33,750
but if we don't have Oliver,
we don't have a picture.

319
00:11:33,750 --> 00:11:34,620
What's the plan?

320
00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:36,040
I'm gonna
bust into his room,

321
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,750
see if I can find
a groundable offense.

322
00:11:37,750 --> 00:11:40,120
Top-left desk drawer.
Check his journal.

323
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:41,620
Some pretty meaty stuff
in there.

324
00:11:41,620 --> 00:11:43,710
Hmm.

325
00:11:43,710 --> 00:11:49,460
♪♪

326
00:11:49,460 --> 00:11:55,210
♪♪

327
00:11:55,210 --> 00:11:58,210
So, uh...
you the bride-to-be?

328
00:11:58,210 --> 00:11:59,040
Sorry?

329
00:12:00,380 --> 00:12:01,670
Oh.

330
00:12:01,670 --> 00:12:03,210
This? No.

331
00:12:03,210 --> 00:12:04,790
My friend
is getting a divorce,

332
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:06,790
and so we're trying
to help her find someone

333
00:12:06,790 --> 00:12:08,460
to have
a revenge hook-up with.

334
00:12:08,460 --> 00:12:10,580
Ohh.
That is so sweet.

335
00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:11,620
[ Chuckles ]

336
00:12:11,620 --> 00:12:12,670
How about you?

337
00:12:12,670 --> 00:12:14,330
What?

338
00:12:14,330 --> 00:12:17,540
You looking for anybody
to have a revenge hook-up with?

339
00:12:17,540 --> 00:12:21,420
[ Laughs ]

340
00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:23,040
Wait a minute.

341
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:24,790
You're Malcolm Smith.

342
00:12:24,790 --> 00:12:26,580
You recognize me?

343
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:28,210
Of course!

344
00:12:28,210 --> 00:12:30,880
I saw you score, like, 30 points
in that all-star game.

345
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:32,710
Well, I'm only hoping
to score once tonight.

346
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:34,290
[ Laughs ]

347
00:12:34,290 --> 00:12:35,710
[ Chuckles ]

348
00:12:35,710 --> 00:12:37,710
Malcolm Smith.

349
00:12:37,710 --> 00:12:38,620
Are you hitting on me?

350
00:12:38,620 --> 00:12:40,170
Yes.

351
00:12:40,170 --> 00:12:41,040
Yes, I am.

352
00:12:42,460 --> 00:12:43,750
Why?

353
00:12:43,750 --> 00:12:45,170
What do you mean, "Why?"

354
00:12:45,170 --> 00:12:48,540
You're hot,
you know sports,

355
00:12:48,540 --> 00:12:52,210
and I don't see a wedding ring,
so I'm assuming single.

356
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,830
Look...at...this.

357
00:12:55,830 --> 00:12:57,120
[ Chuckles ]

358
00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,500
Unfortunately, I'm married.

359
00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:00,330
I mean,
it's not unfortunate.

360
00:13:00,330 --> 00:13:02,500
I love my husband
very much.

361
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,290
Sometimes it's unfortunate.

362
00:13:05,290 --> 00:13:06,210
[ Chuckles ]

363
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,790
Well, uh...

364
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:10,960
if you...

365
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,500
[ Pen clicks ]

366
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:15,750
...if you ever change your mind,
I would love to...

367
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:18,210
just give you
a little piggyback ride.

368
00:13:18,210 --> 00:13:20,040
It's quite the view.

369
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,420
So is this.

370
00:13:23,420 --> 00:13:29,750
♪♪

371
00:13:29,750 --> 00:13:31,920
Hello, Father.
To what do we owe the pleasure?

372
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,830
I was just...
popping in to say hello.

373
00:13:34,830 --> 00:13:36,120
Making sure
everything is...

374
00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:37,210
in order!

375
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,830
Hospital corners.
Very nice.

376
00:13:41,830 --> 00:13:43,040
Just like you taught me.

377
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:44,500
One of the many
priceless lessons

378
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:46,290
I will carry with me
out into this world.

379
00:13:46,290 --> 00:13:48,710
We figured
with Oliver's room so clean

380
00:13:48,710 --> 00:13:50,620
and all of his many chores
completed,

381
00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:52,750
it'd be a nice time to start
reading your book aloud.

382
00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:54,170
How wonderful.

383
00:13:54,170 --> 00:13:55,250
You boys
enjoy your reading.

384
00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:56,330
We sure will.

385
00:13:56,330 --> 00:13:57,960
My only critique
of the book --

386
00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:59,500
it's not long enough.

387
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:00,500
Yeah, yeah.

388
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:03,040
♪♪

389
00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:04,960
[ Dance music plays ]

390
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:07,620
♪♪

391
00:14:07,620 --> 00:14:09,040
[ Slurps ]

392
00:14:11,580 --> 00:14:12,790
What about that guy?

393
00:14:12,790 --> 00:14:14,500
♪♪

394
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:17,330
He's in a three-piece suit
and looks constipated.

395
00:14:17,330 --> 00:14:18,710
He's like
a white Richard.

396
00:14:18,710 --> 00:14:20,170
[ Laughs ]

397
00:14:20,170 --> 00:14:21,250
Okay.

398
00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:23,080
♪♪

399
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:24,620
How about that one?

400
00:14:24,620 --> 00:14:26,290
Oh! He is pretty.

401
00:14:26,290 --> 00:14:27,170
Mm-hmm.

402
00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:29,120
I like pretty.

403
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,170
[ Chuckles ]
Time to go in
for the kill.

404
00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:32,960
[ Sighing ] Okay.
Right. Come here.

405
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,790
Take this off.
[ Sighs ]

406
00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:36,330
Go do it.
You got 'im.

407
00:14:36,330 --> 00:14:42,920
♪♪

408
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:44,500
"Go in for the kill"?

409
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:46,790
What is happening
with my life?

410
00:14:46,790 --> 00:14:48,080
You know, three nights ago,

411
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,460
I was lying in bed
next to my husband

412
00:14:49,460 --> 00:14:51,670
watching TV shows
on separate computers.

413
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,790
What am I even doing here?

414
00:14:54,790 --> 00:14:57,710
Getting back at Richard
for cheating.

415
00:14:57,710 --> 00:14:59,580
Richard's not cheating,
okay?

416
00:14:59,580 --> 00:15:01,420
I confronted him
before I left the house.

417
00:15:01,420 --> 00:15:02,960
There's --
There's no one else.

418
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,420
Oh, he's lying to cover his ass
for the divorce.

419
00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:07,460
No, that's not it.

420
00:15:07,460 --> 00:15:09,540
♪♪

421
00:15:09,540 --> 00:15:11,830
He said he doesn't
enjoy my company anymore.

422
00:15:11,830 --> 00:15:12,540
What?

423
00:15:12,540 --> 00:15:14,920
Yeah.

424
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,460
He said he'd rather be all alone
than be with me.

425
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,880
Am I really that awful?

426
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:23,460
♪♪

427
00:15:23,460 --> 00:15:25,380
I knew it.
I am that awful.

428
00:15:25,380 --> 00:15:26,670
♪♪

429
00:15:26,670 --> 00:15:28,170
Why didn't you
say something?
Why didn't you?

430
00:15:28,170 --> 00:15:29,620
And lie to our friend?

431
00:15:29,620 --> 00:15:31,120
That's all you do!
Oh, God!

432
00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:37,670
Doris, obviously,
we don't think you're awful.

433
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:38,880
Are you difficult?

434
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:40,290
Yeah.
Yeah.

435
00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:42,620
But you're
an amazing person, too.

436
00:15:42,620 --> 00:15:45,120
You know this whole situation
is really more about Richard.

437
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:46,790
If he doesn't love
everything about you,

438
00:15:46,790 --> 00:15:48,620
then you're probably
better off without him.

439
00:15:48,620 --> 00:15:50,330
Yeah.
To hell with Richard!

440
00:15:50,330 --> 00:15:52,580
Let's throw all the suits
in his Aston Martin

441
00:15:52,580 --> 00:15:53,710
and set it on fire!

442
00:15:53,710 --> 00:15:55,170
[ Laughter ]

443
00:15:55,170 --> 00:15:56,540
Thank you, guys.
Oh, honey.

444
00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:58,000
Mm.

445
00:15:59,540 --> 00:16:03,790
You know, I've been with Richard
for so long,

446
00:16:03,790 --> 00:16:05,790
I've forgotten what it's like
to be alone.

447
00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:06,880
Oh, it's awesome.

448
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,540
You get to sleep diagonally
in bed,

449
00:16:08,540 --> 00:16:10,210
you don't have to have sex
with the same person

450
00:16:10,210 --> 00:16:11,580
over and over
and over again,

451
00:16:11,580 --> 00:16:13,790
and you only get your kids
half the time.

452
00:16:13,790 --> 00:16:14,790
[ Chuckles ]
Ugh.

453
00:16:14,790 --> 00:16:17,420
Being in a good marriage
is so unfair.

454
00:16:17,420 --> 00:16:19,710
I can't take a piggyback ride
on Malcolm Smith,

455
00:16:19,710 --> 00:16:22,000
and I have my kids
the whole stupid time!

456
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,250
Oh, you poor thing.
Aww.

457
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:24,830
We're here for you.
Yeah.

458
00:16:24,830 --> 00:16:26,750
[ Laughter ]

459
00:16:26,750 --> 00:16:30,380
♪♪

460
00:16:30,380 --> 00:16:31,540
We're off to the movies.

461
00:16:31,540 --> 00:16:32,960
But it doesn't start
for another hour.

462
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,210
Oh,
we're heading out early

463
00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:35,670
so we can drive
well under the speed limit.

464
00:16:35,670 --> 00:16:36,670
Safety first.

465
00:16:36,670 --> 00:16:38,420
I'm transporting
precious cargo here.

466
00:16:38,420 --> 00:16:40,580
Have a great night,
everybody.

467
00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:41,750
[ Sighs ]

468
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:43,170
I love you, Dad.

469
00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:44,250
Hold on.

470
00:16:44,250 --> 00:16:46,290
I love you, too, son.

471
00:16:47,830 --> 00:16:49,580
What's thi-- What?

472
00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:52,000
Well, well, well.

473
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,250
What do we have here?

474
00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:56,420
Oliver,
is this marijuana?

475
00:16:56,420 --> 00:16:58,170
Oh, my.

476
00:16:58,170 --> 00:16:59,250
You're grounded.

477
00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:00,290
I'm being framed.

478
00:17:00,290 --> 00:17:02,170
We both know
you planted this on me.

479
00:17:02,170 --> 00:17:04,120
I mean, this jacket
doesn't even have pockets!

480
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:05,620
No movie for you tonight.

481
00:17:05,620 --> 00:17:07,290
No way!
That's so messed up!

482
00:17:07,290 --> 00:17:08,420
We're still going.

483
00:17:08,420 --> 00:17:09,830
Okay, Oliver, wait.

484
00:17:09,830 --> 00:17:12,290
This is clearly important
to Dad.

485
00:17:12,290 --> 00:17:13,710
And after everything
he's done for us,

486
00:17:13,710 --> 00:17:15,210
I think
we owe it to him

487
00:17:15,210 --> 00:17:17,380
to stop thinking
about ourselves for once

488
00:17:17,380 --> 00:17:20,000
and just stay home
and take the picture.

489
00:17:21,380 --> 00:17:22,210
Fine.

490
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,880
Who gave this to you?
I'll kill them.

491
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,670
It's Italian seasoning.

492
00:17:29,670 --> 00:17:31,460
Oh, is that what
they're calling it these days?

493
00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:32,960
Hmm?

494
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:37,040
♪♪

495
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,460
Okay, Taylor,

496
00:17:38,460 --> 00:17:41,080
just a smidge more batter
on your forehead.

497
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:42,460
Greg:
How's it looking?

498
00:17:42,460 --> 00:17:43,250
All set.

499
00:17:44,580 --> 00:17:45,620
This is awesome.

500
00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:46,960
When I get married,

501
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,420
I'm making you walk me
down the aisle like this.

502
00:17:49,420 --> 00:17:50,620
Oliver, you ready?

503
00:17:52,380 --> 00:17:54,830
Aww! Look who's up
past his bedtime.

504
00:17:54,830 --> 00:17:56,830
[ Laughs ]
Greg: I appreciate you guys
making this happen.

505
00:17:56,830 --> 00:17:59,330
It means a lot to me, and it's
gonna mean a lot to your mom.

506
00:17:59,330 --> 00:18:01,000
Come on, guys!
Have some fun with it.

507
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,420
[ Laughter ]

508
00:18:04,420 --> 00:18:06,000
Oh!

509
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,290
Uh, Taylor,
tongue out.

510
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:10,000
Oliver, uh,
lick the frosting.

511
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,250
Mr. Otto, um,
act surprised.

512
00:18:13,380 --> 00:18:15,620
Three, two, one.

513
00:18:16,620 --> 00:18:18,620
Perfect.

514
00:18:18,620 --> 00:18:20,790
I wish life was this fun
when I got grounded.

515
00:18:20,790 --> 00:18:22,830
I wish I had parents around
to ground me at all.

516
00:18:22,830 --> 00:18:24,580
Hey, why don't you guys
jump in here?

517
00:18:24,580 --> 00:18:26,960
Then in 10 years,
we'll re-create this one, too.

518
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,330
Really?
Yeah.

519
00:18:28,330 --> 00:18:30,330
You guys are gonna be around
a long time. Come on.

520
00:18:30,330 --> 00:18:33,580
♪♪

521
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:35,620
Setting the timer.

522
00:18:35,620 --> 00:18:37,540
[ Beeping ]
Three...

523
00:18:37,540 --> 00:18:38,960
two, one!

524
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:40,580
[ Laughs ]

525
00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:41,960
[ Beep, camera shutter clicks ]

526
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:45,120
Wait. Can we take another one?
Because I want a copy.

527
00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:47,170
Trip,
you know you can just --

528
00:18:47,170 --> 00:18:48,540
Let's take another one
for Trip.

529
00:18:48,540 --> 00:18:52,330
♪♪

530
00:18:52,330 --> 00:18:54,420
[ Door opens, closes ]

531
00:18:54,420 --> 00:18:58,040
♪♪

532
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,000
So...
did you meet anyone?

533
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,500
Oh, I don't know.

534
00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:05,120
Does the name Malcolm Smith
mean anything to you?

535
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:06,830
Does the name
Gerard Manley Hopkins

536
00:19:06,830 --> 00:19:08,210
mean anything to you?

537
00:19:08,210 --> 00:19:10,250
See how it feels
when you ask someone

538
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,330
if they know someone
you know they don't know?

539
00:19:12,330 --> 00:19:14,210
He's a pro
basketball player.

540
00:19:14,210 --> 00:19:15,830
And he thought
I was hot.

541
00:19:15,830 --> 00:19:17,420
Ohh!
Tell me all about it.

542
00:19:17,420 --> 00:19:20,960
Well, he came up to me
at the bar,

543
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,670
and we talked a bit,

544
00:19:22,670 --> 00:19:25,790
and then he said
he'd like to, you know...

545
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,000
♪ Bow-chicki-bow-bowww ♪

546
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,540
♪ Mama-na-nanananananana ♪

547
00:19:30,540 --> 00:19:31,670
Ah! Nice!

548
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,380
Suck it,
motherhood and time!

549
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:35,380
[ Laughs ] Sweet.

550
00:19:35,380 --> 00:19:37,380
Thanks for making me
get back out there.

551
00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:39,380
I may not
be feeling my best,

552
00:19:39,380 --> 00:19:43,080
but it's nice to know
I still got it.

553
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:44,960
As far as I'm concerned,
you've always had it.

554
00:19:48,250 --> 00:19:50,040
You still enjoy my company,
right?

555
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,330
Of course. Always.

556
00:19:52,330 --> 00:19:53,420
Just checking.

557
00:19:53,420 --> 00:19:54,460
[ Chuckles ]

558
00:19:58,670 --> 00:20:00,250
Is that the basketball
player's number?

559
00:20:00,250 --> 00:20:01,040
Yep.
Mm.

560
00:20:07,580 --> 00:20:09,170
[ Whirring ]

561
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,620
[ Whirring continues ]

562
00:20:13,620 --> 00:20:16,920
♪♪

563
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,170
[ Laughter ]

564
00:20:22,170 --> 00:20:24,000
So, you just swipe through
until you find someone you like.

565
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,380
Ooh!
Look at all these choices.

566
00:20:25,380 --> 00:20:26,920
All sorts of shapes,
sizes.

567
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,250
It's like
online shopping!

568
00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:30,080
What's the return policy?
[ Laughs ]

569
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:31,750
Oh, my God.
Principal Ablin!

570
00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:32,750
[ Laughs ]

571
00:20:32,750 --> 00:20:35,420
God,
let's see his pictures.

572
00:20:35,420 --> 00:20:37,330
Holy crap,
he's on a horse!

573
00:20:37,330 --> 00:20:39,670
He is windsurfing
in a shirt and tie!

574
00:20:39,670 --> 00:20:41,170
That is weird!

575
00:20:41,170 --> 00:20:42,620
Let me see
some more.

576
00:20:42,620 --> 00:20:44,210
[ Laughs ]

577
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:46,210
No! Oh, my God,
you just swiped right.

578
00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:48,120
Is that bad?
What does that
even mean?

579
00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:49,540
[ Laughs ]
It means you're into him.

580
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:50,710
[ Gasps ]

581
00:20:50,710 --> 00:20:51,920
Katie, I hate you!

582
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,000
[ Cellphone dings ]

583
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,580
Oh, my God,
you matched!

584
00:20:54,580 --> 00:20:56,170
Unmatch! Unmatch!

585
00:20:56,170 --> 00:20:58,210
[ Laughs ]
You can't.

586
00:20:58,210 --> 00:20:59,960
[ Shrieks ]

587
00:21:01,710 --> 00:21:04,710
Hellooo, Doris.

588
00:21:04,710 --> 00:21:07,710
♪♪