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‎NETFLIX 原创剧集

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‎怎么了？

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‎怎么了？

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‎-怎么了？
‎-别再说“怎么了？”啦

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‎什么？

6
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‎离别仔是个矮怪！

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‎等一下

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‎我们都是矮怪 精灵就是矮怪

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‎矮怪就是精灵

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‎那鼹鼠人呢？

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‎没有人在乎鼹鼠人

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‎第39章：浆糊再见

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‎有一个人…啊不 精灵…
‎不对 是矮怪…

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‎算了 管他是什么呢 我们必须
‎感谢这位倾尽数十年光阴孜孜寻索

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‎最终为我们带来了大团结的功臣

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‎恐怖海盗离别仔

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‎我的人生都虚度了

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‎你怎么能这么说呢 离别仔？

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‎-你不是有孩子吗？
‎-他们都不跟我说话

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‎那你写的那本奇幻小说呢？

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‎精灵色情书的市场已经过度饱和了

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‎你一直挂在嘴边的那位女朋友呢？

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‎她嫁给了话痨仔

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‎天啊 你的人生还真是虚度了

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‎这次你跑不了了 妈妈

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‎（预言实现中心）

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‎抓到你了！

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‎可恶！

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‎邦缇在休息

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‎要我叫她进来吗？你好冲着她吼

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‎不用了 有你在就好

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‎我闹不明白那些梦是什么意思

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‎我的幸运靴子怎么了？

34
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‎莫拉呢？乌娜私藏的烟草呢？

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‎世间万物的存在有什么意义？

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‎只有你才能回答这些问题

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‎乌娜的烟草除外

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‎那些大多是猫薄荷
‎而且都被浪浪给吸光了

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‎你根本不知道
‎我的脑子里在想什么 抹布女

40
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‎我什么都控制不了

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‎睡着时不行 醒了也一样

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‎你逗我的吧？你可是梦之国的女王啊

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‎一切都由你掌控

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‎也许你不该只关注自己

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‎也别表现得像个
‎被宠坏的熊孩子一样 为所欲为

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‎连我的王冠尺寸都不对

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‎我在此宣布 从今晚开始
‎精灵和矮怪再度携手了

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‎丢掉武器

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‎欢迎你们所有人留下
‎参加我们的祈祷会和庆功会

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‎庆功会？

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‎我们刚想起来
‎我们还有其他事要做 快跑！

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‎你想去哪 小子？

53
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‎我还有好多秘密要说给小碧听呢

54
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‎-我是说…
‎-你有更重大的事情要做

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‎不！

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‎不要啊！

57
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‎可我为什么要上学啊？

58
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‎我都快14岁半了 是中年人了

59
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‎我离开森林是为了上学的吗？

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‎因为我希望你们俩长大以后
‎都能成为绅士呀

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‎也就是说不能打架或推搡

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‎快进去吧

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‎（梦之国小学）

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‎还好我下令
‎把所有学校都建在了酒吧旁边

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‎（路西的地狱）

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‎敬白日饮酒和疏忽教养！

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‎-男孩、女孩和杰瑞 大家好
‎-你好

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‎我是你们的代课老师

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‎格莱斯顿老师哪去了？

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‎她死了 所以今天没来

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‎耶！

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‎我亲自行刑的

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‎她的遗言是：“翻到第52页”

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‎开玩笑的 她说的是：“不！”

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‎顺带一提
‎永远不要试图建立教师联盟

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‎那是个坏主意

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‎（国王的漫画书收藏室
‎手粘不得入内）

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‎就是在勾引宅男嘛

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‎我的个乖乖 这地方真豪华

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‎地狱里就只有色情书

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‎我可怜那个喝了魔液的傻子！

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‎我可怜那个喝了魔液的傻子！

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‎我可怜那个喝了魔液的傻子！

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‎不 我不会喝魔液的 你们休想逼我

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‎我会尖叫求救 一直叫个不停

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‎用高尔夫球塞住他的嘴

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‎什么？

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‎女王陛下 你得集中注意力

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‎别被那些出其不意的蠢事分了神

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‎小碧 艾弗的嘴里
‎能装下七个高尔夫球

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‎天呐 真是个大傻子

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‎矮怪们把他的手脚都绑了起来
‎连他的眼睛都蒙上了

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‎我的直觉告诉我
‎他们要把他活剥了做烧烤

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‎太可怕了

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‎天呐 路西
‎你真是完全不在乎任何人呀

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‎小碧 你这么说我可真伤心

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‎我来让你看看我有多在乎

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‎你好呀 宝贝儿

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‎慢着 站住！

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‎不好意思 我肛门腺堵塞了

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‎天啊 够了！

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‎我们得救救艾弗

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‎去那扇小门

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‎爽啊

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‎好吧 我们先从数学开始

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‎数学！

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‎如果你把一个62公斤的女巫
‎扔到一口12米深的井里

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‎她的下落速度是每秒9米

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‎女巫要过多长时间才会淹死？

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‎我不知道

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‎这是个脑筋急转弯问题！
‎女巫不会被淹死 只有无辜的人才会

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‎路西 我挤不进去的

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‎别担心 隧道里全是粘液

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‎你“哧溜”一下就穿过去了

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‎回见

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‎你可真磨叽

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‎什么？还能走楼梯？

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‎-你干吗不早告诉我？
‎-才不要

119
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‎那样的话我就得跟你说话了

120
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‎该死 我现在就在跟你说话

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‎是哦 什么东西在你眼里
‎都是个笑话 是吧？

122
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‎-你简直有毒
‎-天啊 你可真暴躁

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‎听着 小碧
‎我知道你想念你的美人鱼

124
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‎但我这有只河豚 也许能凑合用一下

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‎嘴巴撅起来

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‎嘿！

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‎你和你那些没创意的玩笑道具
‎都见鬼去吧

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‎我自己去救艾弗

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‎为什么被我推进粘液隧道里的人
‎都这么生气呢？

130
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‎二位 你们想玩一个
‎名叫“木板傻瓜”的小游戏吗？

131
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‎-听起来是个挺友善的游戏
‎-怎么玩？

132
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‎我们用一块木板打你们 傻瓜！

133
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‎什么是木板？

134
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‎你知道我们的问题出在哪吗？

135
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‎我们用拳头对战木板

136
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‎再这么哭哭啼啼的
‎我就亲自动手扇你耳光

137
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‎要是我们还有另一个朋友
‎跟我们并肩作战就好了

138
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‎刚才有人说他需要朋友吗？

139
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‎我可没空

140
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‎我都不知道这些玩具是活的

141
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‎它们一直都在观察我们吗？

142
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‎是就好了

143
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‎不 它们只是玩具而已

144
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‎我一整个孤独的童年
‎都在祈祷这些玩具会说话

145
00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:53,807
‎而它们只是一动不动地坐在那里
‎就连我放火烧它们的时候也是

146
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‎我是小雀斑

147
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‎你难道不明白吗？
‎是你那可悲的愿望赋予了我生命

148
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‎好让我能做你的魔法木头小舞伴

149
00:08:01,941 --> 00:08:04,693
‎就像那种以象征手法描写阴暗心理的

150
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‎令人不适的童话故事里的情节一样

151
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‎我今晚要做噩梦了

152
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‎没错

153
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‎梦里还有一口大煎锅

154
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‎但现在 听起来你们需要一些关于

155
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‎怎么对付那些刻薄的街头恶霸的建议

156
00:08:22,378 --> 00:08:26,840
‎等等 你是想说教
‎“暴力是不能解决问题的”吗？

157
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‎才不是呢
‎我要教你们打架时怎么下黑手

158
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‎那些街头混混完蛋了

159
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‎我的胳膊哟

160
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‎我喜欢他 他不按常理出牌

161
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‎把艾弗放到石板上

162
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:49,506
‎在这个美丽宜人的夜晚

163
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‎我们相聚在蚊子草坪
‎对艾弗进行终极考验

164
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‎什么？

165
00:09:54,303 --> 00:09:55,929
‎现在 把魔液带上来

166
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‎-魔液！
‎-魔液！

167
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‎只有那位真正的救世主
‎才能使用魔液的终极力量

168
00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,145
‎拯救我们所有人

169
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:04,980
‎我们已经在恶魔路西身上试验过了

170
00:10:05,064 --> 00:10:08,609
‎他长出了翅膀 但也仅此而已了

171
00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:09,985
‎现在轮到艾弗了

172
00:10:10,069 --> 00:10:13,238
‎谁知道会发生什么呢？
‎他也许会像离别仔一样变成矮怪

173
00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:15,741
‎这不是我想要的人物成长历程

174
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:18,118
‎又或许他会是我们唯一的
‎真正的救世主

175
00:10:18,202 --> 00:10:22,164
‎至于执行这次试炼的人选 还有谁
‎会比另一位救世主小碧更适合呢？

176
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:24,083
‎-我？
‎-出来吧 小碧

177
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:26,543
‎你那显眼的大脑袋早就出卖了你

178
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:30,589
‎听着 无论你们打算做什么
‎都休想把艾弗变成矮怪

179
00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:32,800
‎没错 蒂亚碧妮 是你来动手

180
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‎-快去吧
‎-要是我不干呢？

181
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:41,100
‎那你俩就一起死 没礼貌的小妞

182
00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:43,060
‎反正救世主都是要死的 对吧？

183
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:47,815
‎好吧 冷静 我做

184
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‎我先确认一下
‎这些固定他的夹具都扣好扣紧了没

185
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,281
‎艾弗 你干什么呢？你这样子好蠢

186
00:10:56,949 --> 00:10:58,659
‎我尽量拖住他们

187
00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:00,244
‎你想办法挣脱出来 好吧？

188
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,496
‎-我做不到
‎-你现在就在挣扎啊

189
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,331
‎因为石板上有蚂蚁

190
00:11:04,415 --> 00:11:05,958
‎又是蚂蚁

191
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:08,919
‎要是你没在床上吃饼干
‎就不会有蚂蚁来找你了

192
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,587
‎你觉得它们是跟着我过来的？

193
00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:12,339
‎我口袋里确实有饼干渣

194
00:11:12,423 --> 00:11:13,966
‎真受不了你和你那些蚂蚁

195
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:18,762
‎快点 小碧 把魔液倒进他嘴里
‎然后观看神奇的魔法吧

196
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:21,390
‎魔法…这就是这个国家的问题所在

197
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:23,267
‎魔法究竟给了我们什么？

198
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:26,145
‎诅咒、谎言和邪恶的木偶

199
00:11:26,228 --> 00:11:31,275
‎但科儿学给了我们
‎嗡嗡灯、汽车和手枪

200
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:34,528
‎科儿学让人更聪明 而魔法令人疯狂

201
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,238
‎所以拜托了 我求求你们

202
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,531
‎抗拒诱惑

203
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,825
‎放弃魔液 谁愿意听我的？

204
00:11:42,453 --> 00:11:45,497
‎蟋蟀开始鸣叫了 快让他喝下魔液

205
00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:55,758
‎抢走喽

206
00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:58,886
‎当心 小碧

207
00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:01,722
‎路西 你最好…也最坏了！

208
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:04,349
‎我扔！

209
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,814
‎月亮！

210
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:14,943
‎天呐 你俩可真胖

211
00:12:15,027 --> 00:12:15,986
‎我们会逃脱的

212
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,113
‎你这想法太乐观了

213
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,620
‎快 抓住那根绳子！

214
00:12:25,496 --> 00:12:27,122
‎错过了 你个傻子

215
00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:43,722
‎我受不了了

216
00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:45,891
‎我要去睡觉了

217
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:48,310
‎谢谢 路西 你今天表现很出色呢

218
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:51,438
‎只此一次 下回就让艾弗去死

219
00:12:51,522 --> 00:12:52,439
‎成交

220
00:12:53,065 --> 00:12:54,525
‎你刚刚把艾弗的灵魂卖给我了

221
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:55,901
‎成交 什么？

222
00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:06,954
‎瞧啊 他们又回来找打了

223
00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:08,705
‎还带了个人偶过来

224
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:11,708
‎我不是人偶 我是玩偶公仔

225
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:14,545
‎我们发现你们这帮人欠收拾了

226
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,130
‎他们可真会开玩笑

227
00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:24,179
‎棍子和石头能打断骨头
‎但管子才能造成实际伤害

228
00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:38,193
‎真要命！难怪他们管你叫
‎混蛋屠杀者德里克

229
00:13:38,277 --> 00:13:40,320
‎-没人这么叫我
‎-从今以后就有了

230
00:13:40,404 --> 00:13:42,489
‎咱们撤吧 谁来抱我走

231
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:48,328
‎看来我们待会儿是吃不成冰激凌了

232
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,207
‎天啊 我杀了一个精灵

233
00:13:52,291 --> 00:13:53,542
‎我该怎么办？

234
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:56,753
‎首先 别再挥舞着那根铅管
‎走来走去了

235
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:58,630
‎血都溅到大家身上了

236
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:05,596
‎德里克 你只有一个选择
‎离开这座城市

237
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,890
‎如果我是你 我就换个名字

238
00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:09,892
‎也换个性格

239
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:11,852
‎你说得对

240
00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:14,271
‎为了保护社会治安 我必须走

241
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:18,859
‎注定孤身走天涯
‎辗转于城镇之间 为人们解决问题

242
00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,861
‎然后无意间把情况变得更糟

243
00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:26,617
‎不 熊崽子 你没理由跟我一起走

244
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:27,743
‎当然有

245
00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:29,578
‎虽然你跟我只有一半血缘关系

246
00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:31,914
‎但我还挺喜欢跟你玩的

247
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:38,295
‎我最好也一起去
‎你们两个傻子肯定寸步难行

248
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:43,926
‎嘿 小雀斑
‎德里克是我男人 懂吗？

249
00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:47,679
‎不管你有什么阴谋
‎好处分我一份 一大份儿

250
00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:58,690
‎看来他们学乖了

251
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:02,486
‎你们俩去偷豪华马车逃跑

252
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,864
‎我来确保那些白痴
‎不再来给我们添麻烦

253
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:13,246
‎谢谢你们配合我
‎玩这个变态小游戏 朋友们

254
00:15:17,376 --> 00:15:19,169
‎脑子受点伤也值了

255
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:24,716
‎你们玩过一个叫
‎“下管子”的游戏吗？

256
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,259
‎-没有
‎-我也没玩过

257
00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:27,511
‎怎么玩的？

258
00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:48,991
‎他们以为说我有可能是
‎唯一的正牌救世主就能引诱我吗？

259
00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:50,993
‎好吧 他们不够了解我

260
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:27,612
‎魔液！

261
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:37,622
‎我抓到你了 妈妈

262
00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:40,625
‎什么鬼！

263
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:42,919
‎很疯狂 是吧？

264
00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:44,106
‎字幕翻译： 覃璇