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ORIGINALNA NETFLIXOVA SERIJA

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DOBRO DOŠLI U DREAMLAND
SAD SA ŠTAKORIMA BEZ KUGE

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Gle. Nove glave su uranile ove godine.

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Gdje su svi? Ovo mjesto je tiho.

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-Pretiho.
-Tišina, Elfo!

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-Tako prazno.
-Kao Jerryjeva glava.

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Hej! Ovamo, budalo.

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Dva koraka nalijevo. Tri nadesno.

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I cha-cha.

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Sanjao sam o ovome.

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Začepite! Čujem nešto.

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BUDALAŠKI GROG

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Fašistički budalaši.

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Znači, vratila se Dagmar.

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Počni dahtati, perverznjače.

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Nadam se da nosi čizme.

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Slijedite me.

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Da sam pijana, ovo ne bi izgledalo opasno.

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Zašto ovdje smrdi na mokre čizme i viski?

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I tugu. Ne zaboravi tugu.

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Moram po nešto.

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Pozdravite ubojicu divova Blunty.

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-Ovdje nema divova.
-Baš tako.

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Zašto je moj krevet grbav?

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U redu, Bunty. Ustaj.

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-Oho!
-Jesi to ti, Frankie?

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Bok, Jerry.

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34. POGLAVLJE - POPLAVA RAZBOJNIKA

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Ne gledajte dok se presvlačim.
Ni ti, Elfo.

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Tko ste vi? Zašto ste ovdje?

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Zašto ste u mom krevetu?

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Želim odgovore i to odmah,
osim na zadnje pitanje.

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Razgovarat ću s njima na njihovom jeziku.

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-Pitaj kad je došla mama.
-Dobro.

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-Što su rekli?
-Same besmislice.

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Dobro, slijedi Dagmarina smrt.

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Može brzi dogovor u ormaru za sastanke?

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Dobro. Ako idemo na Dagmar,
trebamo strategiju.

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Evo što sam mislio.
Ti idi nisko, ja na bedro.

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Želim reći, stražnjicu.

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Odnosno, čizme. Želim reći…

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Elfo, samilosno ću te prekinuti.

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-Hvala.
-Evo što ja mislim.

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Bean, kad kažeš da želiš majci
odrubiti glavu tim mačem,

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ja vidim dragu, nevinu djevojčicu
koja samo traži ljubav.

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Duboko u srcu znaš da ta ljubav neće doći

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jer te tvoja majka ne smatra osobom,

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već nastavkom nje same.

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Ona nije sposobna voljeti.

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Narcisoidna je.

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Sve dok trebaš njezinu ljubav,
ona ima moć nad tobom.

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Ako se stvarno želiš osloboditi,

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moraš se prestati fokusirati
na osvetu, ljutnju i bijes.

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Umjesto toga usmjeri
svoju energiju na ono bitno. A to je…

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Ubojstvo!

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O, da!

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Tko je sad pogrbljen, mama?

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-Zdravo, Bean.
-Dobro došla kući.

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Ujače Cloyd? Teta Becky?

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Kad ste vas dvoje idiota
preuzeli Dreamland?

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Zadnji put sam bacila
policu s knjigama na vas.

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Encyclopedia Erotica mi je pala na lice.

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Umalo sam se ugušio pod duplericom.

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Ali ne žalim se.

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Znamo da si bila zauzeta.

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Poslala si oca u ludnicu.

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-Tako je.
-Zavodila si sirenu.

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Zavladala Dreamlandom.

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Da. Čekaj, sirena? Mora?
To se zaista dogodilo?

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Pratimo tvoje pustolovine na vatri Oracle.

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Ne znamo kako radi, ali svašta dopušta.

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Odvale, smiješaj još jedan vrč marugarite.

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Da, Vaše Beckyčanstvo.

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Zapravo dva vrča, molim.

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Elfo, tražili smo
tvoje male prijatelje posvuda.

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Gdje se skrivaju?

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Znam, ali neću priznati bez šibanja.

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Ne znam na što vas je Dagmar nagovorila,
ali Dreamlanderi to neće podržati.

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Ne vole ni kad im ja govorim što da rade.

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Dušo, već smo se pobrinuli za to.

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„Dušo“?

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Možda ti učinim isto što i prijestolju.

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Bacite ih u tamnicu.

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Hej!

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Čekaj moju glavu.

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Oho. Ovdje su završile sve budale.

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Velike face su se konačno
odlučile pojaviti.

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Dok sam bio u samostanu,
naučio sam dvije bitne lekcije.

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Jedna, uvijek budi dobar prema drugima.

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Druga, ne treba ti ništa.

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Osim jastuka. Dođite, jastuci.

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Laku noć.

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Vipe, ako se opet pomakneš…

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Vape, ne meškolji se.

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Bez panike. Došli smo vas spasiti.

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Nije odgovor koji si očekivala?

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Ne baš. Ja…

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Da, nismo pretjerano oduševljeni, zar ne?

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Ne razumijem vas ljude.

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Možda kad nas ne bi zvala „vi ljudi“.

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Ne budite nezahvalni.

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Bean vam je kraljica, idioti.

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To je već bolje.

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Cloyd i Becky obećali su
Dreamland učiniti sanjarskim.

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Cloyd i Becky riješili su nas rada.

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Cloyd i Becky
dali su naše poslove budalašima.

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Čak i one najbolje, kao skupljač balege.

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Ne možete zauvijek ostati ovdje.

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Nemaš pojma koliko smo lijeni.

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Što sad?

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Pažnja, Dreamlanderi.

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Tko je sljedeći za kraljevski tretman?

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-Odaberi mene!
-Odaberi mene!

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Mene!

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Neka izađe Tedrick, pastir.

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Nemam što reći osim… vidimo se, gubitnici!

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Zabavi se!

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GRAD TISUĆU OSIPA

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Stigao sam kući, dušo.

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Puno mudriji i ćelaviji.

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Gdje su svi?

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Nikoga nema osim nas bačava za urin.

123
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-Tko je to rekao?
-Tko je to rekao?

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Želiš li da ti odrubim glavu?

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O, kralju Zog!

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Ovdje Turbish, budalo. Hoću reći, Mertz.

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Znam tko si.

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Sakrijte se. Budalaši su posvuda.

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Bacit će vas u tamnicu
s ostatkom Dreamlanda.

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-Čak je i Bean dolje.
-Bean?

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Čujete li me?

132
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Jer znam da ja vas čujem.

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Da, ja…

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Au, udaram glavom.

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Au, još uvijek udaram.

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Zar ne slušate? Rekao sam: „Au!“

137
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Mora postojati manje glup način ulaska.

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GROBLJE
NE KOPATI POSLIJE PONOĆI

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UMRO SRETAN I SAM

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Moj stari grob.

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Niz ljestve, momci.

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Kod trećeg štakora lijevo.

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Ako zagazite u jamu bez dna,
otišli ste predaleko.

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Evo me, kraljice ničega.

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Kraljica si tamnice.

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Nisi kraljica moje tamnice.

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A ja sam kralj kanalizacije.

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Zahodski trol! Ubodi ga.

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Pokušavaš napraviti budalu od mene?

150
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Gdje ti je kosa?

151
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Ovo je biljarska kugla.

152
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Trebao sam uzeti Vepra.

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Hajde, Dreamlande.

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To sam ja, kralj Zog.
Izvući ću vas odavde.

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-Hvala, ali ne hvala.
-Ali hvala.

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Ali ne hvala, ali hvala.

157
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Prokleti ste!

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Nedostajao si mi.

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-Oprosti za ludnicu.
-U redu je, Beanie.

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Prosvijetljen sam.

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I vratio sam se, dušo.

162
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Ili bih trebao reći: „Vaše Veličanstvo“.

163
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Vratit ću nam naše prijestolje.

164
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Tko ga je preuzeo?

165
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Derek i Oona? Odval i Sorcerio?
Metluša i Kanto?

166
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Tko je Kanto?

167
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-Ne, Cloyd i Becky.
-Cloyd i Becky…

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Cloyd i Becky?

169
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-Cloyd i Becky…
-Mislim da ti tata ima problem s rođacima.

170
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Tata, što se događa?

171
00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:29,338
Samoaktualizacija slabi?

172
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Nađi svoj prokleti zen!

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Hej!

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Dobro sam.

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Mir s tobom.

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Om…

177
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Što je to bilo?

178
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Bio je to vrisak,

179
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i to ne vrisak ekstaze, to ti mogu reći.

180
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Kako zvuči vrisak ekstaze, Elfo?

181
00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:56,448
Ne znam.

182
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To je sigurno kraljevski tretman. Dođite.

183
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GARDEROBA

184
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Dobro došao.
Spreman za kraljevski tretman?

185
00:11:34,445 --> 00:11:37,322
Stolac s naslonom. Zbilja sam kralj.

186
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Vežite ga.

187
00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:41,368
Ovo ne može biti dobro.

188
00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:47,166
Prestani. Još ti ništa nismo učinili.

189
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,668
-I reži!
-Sad možeš vikati.

190
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Sljedeći.

191
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:55,382
Bježimo!

192
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:01,889
Jesu li otišli?

193
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,099
Tedrick je još živ.

194
00:12:04,183 --> 00:12:05,058
Prokletstvo.

195
00:12:05,142 --> 00:12:08,353
Osjećam se bolje no ikada.
Kao da sam pojeo kašu.

196
00:12:20,491 --> 00:12:21,992
Zašto se tako bacaka?

197
00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:28,332
Kraljevski tretman.

198
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:31,418
Pretvaraju ružne Dreamlandere
u ružne budalaše.

199
00:12:31,502 --> 00:12:34,129
Neće mu više trebati novčanik.

200
00:12:34,213 --> 00:12:35,589
I… bling.

201
00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:44,473
Vaše Veličanstvo.

202
00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:47,476
I drugo Veličanstvo i ostali.

203
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,813
Dovraga, Sorcerio?
Zašto pomažeš Cloydu i Becky?

204
00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:53,023
Naivan sam i nevin, kunem se.

205
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:57,110
Koriste moj laboratorij jer misle
da sam moćan čarobnjak.

206
00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:58,237
Otkad to?

207
00:12:58,320 --> 00:12:59,863
Otkad sam im to rekao.

208
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:02,950
Većina ovog
unajmljeno je u trgovini kostimima.

209
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:06,161
Nemojte im reći da sam varalica.
Uspješan sam.

210
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,833
Znači ovako je imati dugačke ruke?

211
00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:12,960
Pozdrav!

212
00:13:16,255 --> 00:13:17,798
Spusti ih, mali čovječe.

213
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:20,509
Jedna ogrebotina i za jedan sat pobudališ.

214
00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:23,679
Samo malo.
Te odrubljene ruke izgledaju poznato.

215
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:26,974
Sigurno pripadaju starici
koja me ogrebala u Maruu.

216
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:30,310
Što se mene tiče, to su vražje ruke,

217
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a ne igračke.

218
00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,189
Bit će razlog uništenja kraljevstva.

219
00:13:34,273 --> 00:13:36,525
Dreamlanderi ne zaslužuju tu sudbinu,

220
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ma koliko bili
iritantni, tvrdoglavi i prljavi.

221
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,113
Moramo spasiti moje ljude.

222
00:13:41,697 --> 00:13:43,407
Zašto sam te uopće zaposlio?

223
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:46,159
Bio sam mađioničar
na Beaninom osmom rođendanu.

224
00:13:46,243 --> 00:13:48,495
Djeca su me bacila u tamnicu.

225
00:13:57,212 --> 00:13:58,213
Oprezno, Jerry.

226
00:13:58,297 --> 00:14:00,382
Dobro bi došle kuhinjske rukavice.

227
00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:03,844
Probudite se, vi glupe seljačine budale!

228
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:05,387
Jerry će vam nešto pokazati.

229
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:08,932
Nisu glupe seljačine.
Oni su sofisticirani urbani idioti.

230
00:14:10,434 --> 00:14:11,935
Vidi te plamenove.

231
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:13,645
Sviđaju mi se spiralni.

232
00:14:13,729 --> 00:14:16,231
Pokaži mi brata Cloyda i sestru Becky.

233
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,943
Unutra su mali ljudi.

234
00:14:20,736 --> 00:14:21,904
Ovo je dobar dio.

235
00:14:25,616 --> 00:14:28,535
Vrijeme za kraljevski tretman,
lady Lingonberry.

236
00:14:28,619 --> 00:14:31,538
Požuri. Želim sve što zaslužujem.

237
00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:38,795
Stanite, u ime zakona!

238
00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,465
-Opet ona.
-Da, opet ona.

239
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:44,593
„Ona“ zna sve o vašem tajnom planu.

240
00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:47,679
-Planu da nađemo magiju i ukrademo je?
-Cloyde!

241
00:14:47,763 --> 00:14:49,014
Što? Ne.

242
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:51,350
Što? Ne, kraljevski tretman.

243
00:14:51,433 --> 00:14:53,685
Znam da pretvarate
Dreamlandere u budalaše.

244
00:14:57,230 --> 00:15:00,651
Makni tu smežuranu staru ruku
s moje smežurane stare ruke.

245
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,319
Nisam to očekivao.

246
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:04,029
Neizvjesnost. Tako te privuku.

247
00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:06,531
Zamislim se. I to me ljuti.

248
00:15:06,615 --> 00:15:10,243
Sad kad cijeli Dreamland
zna što ste učinili… Mač!

249
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,959
Pazite se Bluntynog bijesa!

250
00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:18,085
Zvali ste?

251
00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:19,711
Blunty, a ne Bunty.

252
00:15:24,675 --> 00:15:27,552
Dobra stara borba ženskim rukama.

253
00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:30,305
Dobra stara borba ženskim rukama?

254
00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:41,566
-Miči se!
-Oprosti.

255
00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:50,951
Ne bojim se tvoje mlatilice.

256
00:15:51,034 --> 00:15:52,119
Moje čega?

257
00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,287
Pripremi se iskrvariti.

258
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,961
Bit ću u smočnici i raditi peciva.

259
00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:06,049
Obično me ne privlače ženske borbe,
ali bolje je od dva debeljka

260
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,719
koji se šamaraju odrezanim rukama.

261
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:48,884
Tata!

262
00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:51,428
Zašto ova okupljanja nisu miroljubivija?

263
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:52,637
Ubit ću te.

264
00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:55,182
Znamo, sve ćeš ubiti.

265
00:16:55,265 --> 00:16:57,350
A sad nam reci gdje je magija.

266
00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:59,394
Hej, ostavite Bean na miru.

267
00:16:59,478 --> 00:17:02,856
-Jerry? Mislili smo da si mrtav.
-Čak ni to nisi uspio.

268
00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:06,109
Cijeli si mi život govorio: „Uđi u kutiju.

269
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:07,652
Jerry, nitko te ne voli.

270
00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:09,196
Nitko te neće voljeti.

271
00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:10,614
Bezvrijedan si.“

272
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,365
Nisam samo bezvrijedan.

273
00:17:12,908 --> 00:17:13,909
Ja sam Jerry.

274
00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:16,495
Odustani. Jedino te mi volimo.

275
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:18,163
To je možda istina,

276
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:19,998
ali vole me i moji prijatelji.

277
00:17:20,082 --> 00:17:21,750
Dovoljno dobro za Jerryja.

278
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:32,302
Tata, dobro si.

279
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:34,429
Osjećam trnce.

280
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:38,767
-Tata.
-Zaboravi me, Beanie.

281
00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:40,811
Otišao sam predaleko.

282
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:43,855
Tata, tek si se vratio,
ne mogu te opet izgubiti.

283
00:17:43,939 --> 00:17:48,735
Bio sam luđak, usijana glava,
tiranin, trbuhozborac,

284
00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:50,654
a sad sam i čudovište.

285
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:53,573
Ali uvijek ću biti tvoj tata.

286
00:17:53,657 --> 00:17:56,243
Tata, oduvijek si bio čudovište.

287
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:59,037
Ali to me nije spriječilo da te volim.

288
00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:02,040
Trenutno ne znam tko kome pomaže.

289
00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:09,089
Bean, zbog tebe je nestala ogrebotina.

290
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:10,632
Ajme.

291
00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:13,802
Možeš li pogledati osip
na mojoj stražnjici?

292
00:18:13,885 --> 00:18:15,512
Vratio se, narode.

293
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,147
Brže trči, Cloyde!

294
00:18:25,230 --> 00:18:28,525
Bit ćemo dobro ako ostanemo
izvan dometa kamenja.

295
00:18:33,989 --> 00:18:36,158
Uračunao sam kretanje u putanju.

296
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:40,013
Prijevod titlova: Oleg Berić