1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,383 [opening theme music playing] 2 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,636 [man] Hey! 3 00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:30,572 [Zøg yelling] Help! 4 00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:32,991 How is it that nobody can hear me? 5 00:00:33,074 --> 00:00:35,410 I'm the loudest guy in Dreamland. 6 00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:39,414 I know you're up there! I can hear you tiptoein' around! 7 00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:40,457 [squeaks] 8 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,045 Oh, it's no use. I'm trapped. 9 00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:49,424 Ah, jeez! Why'd I drink a gallon of water before I got in the coffin? 10 00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:52,218 And then another gallon while I was in the coffin? 11 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:53,762 And I'm still thirsty! 12 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:59,809 Oh, Pendergast, you were my only hope. Now you're dead and just a Penderghost. 13 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:04,272 Wait a minute. Turbish and Mertz know the plan. They'll save me. 14 00:01:06,357 --> 00:01:09,069 Hey, Mertz, did we forget something? 15 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:12,030 Weren't we supposed to meet someone right about now? 16 00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,532 [Mertz's mom sighs] Not again. 17 00:01:15,116 --> 00:01:20,205 [singing] ♪ Depressing birthday to you Depressing birthday to you ♪ 18 00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:21,372 [blows] 19 00:01:21,956 --> 00:01:24,417 Oh, who am I foolin', waitin' on those yutzes? 20 00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:26,628 I gotta figure out how to escape on my own. 21 00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:29,464 Lucky I brought a figurin'-out cigar. 22 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:32,550 [sucking] 23 00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,052 [coughing] 24 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:36,513 [groans] 25 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:39,307 I just figured out this was a bad idea. 26 00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:42,143 It's quiet. Maybe they're making up. 27 00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:44,270 Are we even listening to the same door? 28 00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:46,314 [Bean screams] Run! 29 00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:50,735 My mom's not just messing with heads, she's eating them. 30 00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:53,113 -Oh, Bean. -[Bean gasps] 31 00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:55,490 Running from your mother is so last year. 32 00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:57,492 Elfo's more of a mother to me than you! 33 00:01:57,575 --> 00:02:01,496 Oh, this ruins so many fantasies but opens up so many new ones. 34 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:03,998 -[gasps] -[Elfo and Luci grunt] 35 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:06,709 [gasps] 36 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:07,877 Ha! 37 00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:11,256 They can't get to us. [panting] We can take a breather. 38 00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:14,843 Hey, Bug Eyes, how you like this moon? 39 00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:16,469 [Trøgs grunting] 40 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:19,889 [Luci] Ruh-roh. 41 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,226 What the… [gasps] 42 00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:26,813 -[Bean panting] -[Luci gibbers] 43 00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:27,897 [Elfo whimpering] 44 00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:29,732 [Bean panting] 45 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:32,652 -Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. -[Trøgs yelping] 46 00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:34,404 [Bean] Your face, sorry, sorry. 47 00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:37,657 [Trøg] Anybody remember how we get out of this? 48 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:39,993 [gasps] 49 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,040 Ugh! 50 00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:49,043 [Dagmar] Oh, good, you found the dungeon. 51 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,296 Whoa! 52 00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,923 You know, it's a shame it had to end up this way. 53 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,426 -I really do love you. -Then set me free. 54 00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,052 [scoffs] Not that much. 55 00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:01,389 Actually, pretending to care about your feelings was exhausting. 56 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:04,309 [gasps] And I no longer have to call you "darling." 57 00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:08,313 Great. How about you also stop calling me "honey," "sweetie" and "disappointment"? 58 00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:10,857 -Have it your way, fat-arse. -Flat-ass! 59 00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:12,567 -Elf diddler! -Skull sucker! 60 00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:14,777 -Destiny denier! -Prophecy hag! 61 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:15,695 Squirrel face! 62 00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:19,699 Well, at least I don't have a small waist and long legs! [sighs] 63 00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:21,701 Yeah, you should slump. 64 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,708 [Zøg grunting] 65 00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:30,460 Somebody let me out of here! 66 00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:35,715 I'm too young to be buried in a coffin and too old to get out of it on my own. 67 00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:37,425 [grunting] 68 00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:44,682 Okay, Zøg, get a hold of yourself. You're not gonna die immediately. 69 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:47,602 You're just gonna be in this little box for all eternity, 70 00:03:47,685 --> 00:03:50,313 where you can't breathe or move or scratch. 71 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:55,109 [grunts] And I got itches comin'! Oh, no, they're here. In all the worst places! 72 00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:56,778 [grunting] 73 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,576 [sighs] 74 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:10,333 Man, what is this, like, the fourth time we've been imprisoned against our will? 75 00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:12,752 Fifth, if you count Elfo's xylophone recital. 76 00:04:12,835 --> 00:04:15,630 -Off, that was a long night. -Hey. 77 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,717 -[chains rattling] -[gasps] 78 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:22,262 There's somebody in here. Bean, do what you do best. 79 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:24,681 Take your mommy issues out on someone else. 80 00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:29,143 [grunts] Ow! 81 00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:31,896 [gasps] Oh, it's just Leavo. 82 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:35,900 [scoffs] "Just Leavo"? This is Leavo, as in, 83 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,902 "Speak no more of Leavo, Speako." 84 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,612 Uh, I don't know Speako. 85 00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:44,409 Leavo, as in, dread pirate Leavo! He beat me up, remember? 86 00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:46,035 Oh, yeah. [chuckles] 87 00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:48,496 So, Leavo, what you in for? 88 00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:53,626 It's a long story, but seeing as you'll never get out, pull up a seat. 89 00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:59,173 Thank God we found that Zøg look-alike. 90 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:03,177 Once we know the real one's dead for sure, we can start Phase Two. 91 00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:06,180 This is the sinister plot that just keeps giving. 92 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:09,892 As long as the boy doesn't start asking impertinent questions. 93 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,519 -[Derek] What's "impertinent" mean? -[both gasp] 94 00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:13,646 Derek, I didn't see you there. 95 00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:16,441 That's 'cause I crept up on my little cat feet. 96 00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:18,985 They're made from the feet of sixteen actual cats. 97 00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:23,698 So, may I see my father? I brought him some soup to cheer his soul. 98 00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:28,202 Souls are meant for damnation, not soup! Oh, whatever, get in there. 99 00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:33,666 But don't get too close, Derek. Death is contagious. 100 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:34,709 [Walrus chuckles] 101 00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:36,836 [whispering] Sixteen cat feet. 102 00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:44,177 Father, I brought you your favorite meal, food! 103 00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:49,348 I'll just put it here by your bed. I love you, Father. 104 00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,017 [Walrus grunts] 105 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,478 We're fooling him so good. 106 00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:56,272 Fooling foolish fools is so satisfying. 107 00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:01,027 [vocalizing] 108 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:06,074 Here we are, my boy. Go in, that's right. 109 00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:08,993 Get the hell in there. Safe and sound. 110 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:12,455 If something happens to you, the kingdom would be without a ruler. 111 00:06:12,538 --> 00:06:13,956 We don't want that, do we? 112 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,876 But then they could set up a socialist utopia-- 113 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:21,005 Oh, my, you've already become delirious. You'd best get to beddy-bye, sire. 114 00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:23,132 I'm not tired. You wanna play with me? 115 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:27,178 You could be my new friend, since my dad is so sick he grew tusks. 116 00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:29,180 Then, I'd have two friends. Counting myself. 117 00:06:29,263 --> 00:06:33,267 Okay, I really must go. It's Mertz's mom's birthday. 118 00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:37,855 Impressive. Imprisoning a king in his room like a common criminal. 119 00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:40,274 [chuckles] Oh, that's delightfully craven. 120 00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,235 I don't deserve your praise. 121 00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:46,531 Derek loves being confined in his room. He even locks himself in. 122 00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:48,407 [locks clicking] 123 00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:50,993 [Derek] Yay! I'm Bedroom Boy! 124 00:06:52,411 --> 00:06:53,746 [Merkimer] Sad. 125 00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:59,210 [groans] 126 00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:04,215 And there I was, minding my own business, 127 00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:06,884 rummaging through their treasures, when the Trøgs nabbed me. 128 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:10,513 They tried to get me to talk, and I tried to get them to blink. 129 00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:13,057 Both of us failed. Then they locked me in here. 130 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:16,352 Why would they lock you up? You're puny and irritating just like them. 131 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,939 It was the big lady with the white hair. The one who looks like her. 132 00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:21,315 They do whatever she tells them, 133 00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,776 like she's some kind of voluptuous goddess. 134 00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,111 I can't blame 'em. 135 00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:28,448 That's one fine lady I wouldn't leave-o. [chuckles] 136 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,867 Okay, I get it. I have a hot mom. 137 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,827 Are you gonna wipe your drool and help me or not? 138 00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:35,663 Uh, if you wanted help, you should've found Helpo. 139 00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:37,665 Oh, wait, he died trying to help me. 140 00:07:37,748 --> 00:07:39,876 [breathing heavily] 141 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,088 [scratching] 142 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:52,597 I don't know how much longer I can take this. I'm gonna die. 143 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,808 On the bright side, I'm gonna see all my dead relatives. 144 00:07:55,892 --> 00:08:00,605 Wait! I killed most of them. Oh, no! 145 00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:04,775 -[clanging] -Help! Help us! Somebody, help! Help us! 146 00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:08,362 Luci! Stop making that racket. I will shank you. 147 00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:09,989 Prison's changed you, Bean. 148 00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:12,950 Wanna be even more annoyed? I can fit through the bars. 149 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,494 [blabbers] 150 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:22,418 Ow, my nose! 151 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,712 You got a visitor, bub. 152 00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:27,381 [Luci] Yikes. 153 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,967 -[door closes] -Hiya, Elfo! 154 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:33,930 Ugh! Trixy. What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy? 155 00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:38,351 I brought something to help you escape. It's inside the cake, ding-dong. 156 00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:41,395 Hurry, Elfo. Get through the icing. 157 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,316 Uh, what the hell is this? 158 00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:47,151 [Trixy] It's me. Naked. 159 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,654 I thought you said this was gonna help me escape. 160 00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:51,072 I meant, mentally. 161 00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:53,241 Yeah, no, thanks. 162 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:54,867 Ugh, screw this. 163 00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:57,119 -[grunts] -Let me go, bub. 164 00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,538 -Luci! -I'm on it. 165 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,125 Ow! Hey! Stop it, bub! 166 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:08,005 Elfo, punch his kidneys. Elfo! Spit out that frosting and get over here. 167 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:09,715 Oh, sorry. 168 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:13,177 Every single time, it's cake with you. It's not even good cake. 169 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,888 [grunting and groaning] Hey! 170 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:18,558 Ta-da! 171 00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:26,440 Bean's dead. Daddy's gonna die. 172 00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:29,694 And New Mommy and New Daddy "need a break" from me 173 00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:32,363 because I'm "extremely grating." 174 00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:34,907 There's only one thing left to do… 175 00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:39,036 hide under my bed. 176 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,580 Hey, what's this? 177 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,208 [blows and coughs] 178 00:09:47,211 --> 00:09:51,340 "Son, someday this book might help you like it helped me 179 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:54,343 when I was a scared little boy hiding under my bed…" 180 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:59,473 "…just like you are probably right now. Love, yer dad." 181 00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:02,310 Aw, he spelled it "yer." 182 00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:04,770 "The Royal Log." 183 00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,731 "From Agøgg to Zøg." 184 00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:10,276 "A Secret History of the Kings of Dreamland." 185 00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:12,111 Oh. 186 00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:14,780 "Agogg, Dreamland's first king." 187 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:19,452 "He used his opposable thumbs to break the thumbs of those who opposed him." 188 00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:24,790 "Bøg the Paranoid." "Died alone, surrounded by enemies." 189 00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:28,169 "Crøg the Conspicuous." Yow. 190 00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,005 [gasps] 191 00:10:31,088 --> 00:10:35,718 Why is a chunk torn out? "Cursed"? Oh, no. 192 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:36,886 -[door opens] -[gasps] 193 00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:39,847 Derek? What have you got there? 194 00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:41,932 Uh, smut? 195 00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:49,023 Okay, Leavo. This is a real jailbreak. Let's skedoodle. 196 00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:52,151 No, I can't leave. And I believe it's pronounced "skedaddle." 197 00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:55,571 -But you can't just stay down here. -Sure, he can. Let's go. 198 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,491 Oh, my God, are you serious? Skedoodle, skedaddle, who cares? 199 00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:04,038 Nay, comrades, I must remain, continuing my secret mission, underground, 200 00:11:04,121 --> 00:11:06,499 searching for the lost kingdom of the elves, which I-- 201 00:11:06,582 --> 00:11:09,502 Hey. They left before I could finish. 202 00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:12,171 So that's what it feels like. 203 00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:15,216 [mimicking echo] Oh, my God, God, God, God, God. 204 00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:18,761 I'm descending into madness, madness, 205 00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:20,930 madness, madness, madness, madness, 206 00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:24,850 madness, madness, madness, madness, madness, madness. 207 00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,560 [blabbers] 208 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,528 I always wanted to get lost in a labyrinth. 209 00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:37,446 It's like a puzzle you solve with your feet. 210 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,989 Hey, what's that light ahead? 211 00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:41,617 It's a way out… of this idiotic conversation. 212 00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:44,412 Lava? Who just keeps lava lying around? 213 00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:46,080 It's no use. We're stuck. 214 00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:49,041 God, why is Mom so obsessed with me? 215 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,709 She makes me so angry, 216 00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,921 I just wanna squeeze and stab and subjugate people. 217 00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:56,173 Mmm-hmm. Remind you of anyone, Elfo? 218 00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:59,301 Uh, let me see. White hair, purty face, 219 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:04,265 stubborn, prone to violence. No, no, not ringin' a bell at all. 220 00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:06,350 -[both laughing] -[laughs sarcastically] 221 00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,811 Okay, jerks. I'll admit it. 222 00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:13,023 Dagmar and I are a teeny, kinda, sorta similar. 223 00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:14,984 -Wait, that's it! -Don't hit me. 224 00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:17,945 I know how we can get out of here. Follow me. 225 00:12:18,946 --> 00:12:20,406 Ugh, she's so bossy. 226 00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:23,576 What are you looking at? Start walkin'! Come on, move it! 227 00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:25,327 Help, help, help. 228 00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:27,329 [blabbering] 229 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:34,920 [shushes] 230 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,464 [Dagmar snoring] 231 00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:40,384 [whispering] She's sleeping. We gotta be quiet. 232 00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:48,017 [grunts] 233 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:50,603 Oh, there you are. 234 00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:53,230 I'm ready for my evening massage, Caresso. 235 00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:55,941 [mouthing] 236 00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:57,359 [Dagmar] Get over here. 237 00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:08,496 You know I don't like to wait. But you do know what I like. 238 00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:09,497 [Elfo gulps] 239 00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:16,337 [Dagmar] Oh, yes. Yeah. 240 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,340 -Oh, that's good. Right there. -[Luci] Hey! 241 00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:27,890 [whimpering] 242 00:13:28,807 --> 00:13:31,352 Caresso, stop panting. 243 00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:32,853 Oh, my God. 244 00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:35,397 [grunts and coughs] 245 00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:40,027 This is it. I'm running out of air. 246 00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:41,153 [breathing heavily] 247 00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:42,821 I'm gonna die for real. 248 00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:46,534 At least I'm in a coffin, God damn it. 249 00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:50,371 Goodbye, Beanie. Goodbye, Derek. 250 00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:52,581 I love you both. 251 00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:54,542 Goodbye, Vip… 252 00:13:55,209 --> 00:13:58,212 Vap, I'll see you in Hell. 253 00:13:58,295 --> 00:14:01,507 Goodbye, Dreamland. Sorry I was so loud. 254 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,718 Sorry I never went out with a human. 255 00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:10,224 Most of all… I wish I was a better king. I… 256 00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:11,934 [gasping] 257 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,687 [exhales deeply] 258 00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:21,360 Whoa! 259 00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:22,528 [grunting] 260 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,534 [screaming] 261 00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:32,872 [all screaming] 262 00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:37,710 I'm dead. I'm dead and I'm in Hell. I'm in Hell! 263 00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:39,503 [grunting] 264 00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:44,884 [blabbers] 265 00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:50,598 Yeesh. I didn't order a king. 266 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,309 Derek has found a special book 267 00:14:53,392 --> 00:14:55,936 and is afraid it says his family is cursed. 268 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,105 Oh, books lie all the time. 269 00:14:58,188 --> 00:14:59,481 If I believed a word of this, 270 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:02,067 I'd be a quivering mass of boneheaded jelly. 271 00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:04,945 Speaking of, it's almost time for quivering mass. Now run along! 272 00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:08,449 Go wait in your churchy throne like a good little ruler. 273 00:15:09,783 --> 00:15:12,244 Secret book of kings. 274 00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:15,289 [gasps] Someone's torn out the pages. You don't think-- 275 00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:19,168 If someone else is plotting without us, I will be really miffed. 276 00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:21,337 [screaming] 277 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,589 Hell is so fast! 278 00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:25,841 [yelps] 279 00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:28,677 And painful. [grunting] 280 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,180 [blabbers] 281 00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:33,557 [Dagmar moaning] 282 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:40,606 Right, on your feet. 283 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:42,942 [exhales sharply] 284 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,234 [clears throat] 285 00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,444 [chuckles nervously] 286 00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,572 Hmm. [grunts] 287 00:15:49,406 --> 00:15:50,991 -[Dagmar moaning] -[grunting] 288 00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:01,126 Slip and slide, baby! Slip and slide! 289 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:05,089 Oh, yes! Oh, yes! 290 00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:06,924 -Right, you can stop. -Aw. 291 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,889 -Thank you, Elfo. -[gasps and gulps] 292 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:25,985 [Bean] Ugh. 293 00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:29,446 Aren't boots supposed to bend at the knee? This is never gonna work! 294 00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,907 I should've made Elfo do it. He's played Dagmar before. 295 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:35,661 Hey, hey! Psst, psst. Down here. Cons are all about confidence. 296 00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:38,914 I know you can do this. I watched you march right into Hell. 297 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:42,001 And badass Bean is the Bean I wanna see right now. 298 00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:44,878 You're right! I am badass! [grunting] 299 00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,257 [groans] 300 00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:55,889 -[groans] -Uh-oh. 301 00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:58,183 -[whispering] Say something. -Um… 302 00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:00,477 Hey, how's it goin'? [chuckles] 303 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:04,023 [whispering] No, like Dagmar, you rube! 304 00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:07,943 Oh. Right. Hello… Wait. [chuckles] 305 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:12,990 [imitating Dagmar] Hello, darlings. How doth it go with y'all? 306 00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,951 [whispering] Really? That's the best you got? 307 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:19,413 Why, I was just gliding about, 308 00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:23,500 thinking of something devilishly evil to do. 309 00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:27,254 But it's so dreadfully gloomy down here. 310 00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:31,216 You know what would be really ever so fun? 311 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:36,513 If we go up to the surface and do something evil up there. 312 00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:40,350 But I can't seem to remember how to find the stairs 313 00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:44,354 or the ladder or whatever we usually use to get up there. [chuckles] 314 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:49,818 You'd think with all the brains I eat, I wouldn't be so forgetful. 315 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:50,903 [chuckles] 316 00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:53,655 [laughs] Wrap it up. 317 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,784 So could one of you be a dearie 318 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,619 and, uh, show me the way up? 319 00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:00,079 Okie dokie, Your Highness. 320 00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:03,457 [in normal voice] It's working. Maybe I am a lot like my mother. 321 00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,584 [imitating Dagmar] Thank you, suck-up. 322 00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:08,921 Where are you trying to be from? I'm sorry, I can't place that accent. 323 00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:10,589 All right, let's go. 324 00:18:10,672 --> 00:18:12,591 [in normal voice] We can't leave without Elfo. 325 00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:16,303 [imitating Dagmar] Now, where is that little green bugger? 326 00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,514 He's right here. 327 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,019 Bean, I love your new look. 328 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,897 She's an impostor. I am the real Dagmar. 329 00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:29,399 -[gasping] -She's lying. [stutters] 330 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:34,530 [imitating Dagmar] I'm obviously the real Dagmar, you twits! 331 00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:37,658 -I don't sound like that. -I don't sound like that. 332 00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:39,159 -Do I? -Do I? 333 00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,787 -That imitation is terrible. -Oh, you're terrible. 334 00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:43,789 -How dare you, Bean! -How dare you, Bean! 335 00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:47,084 -No, you're Bean. -Who's Bean? I'm Dagmar. 336 00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:48,293 You're the Bean. 337 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,045 -[Dagmar] Bean's the worst. -Bean's the worst. 338 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,005 -Bean's the worst. -Bean is the worst. 339 00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:55,843 Well, no makeup could cover up those freckles, darling, so… 340 00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:59,304 Well, you've still got brain goo on your mouth. 341 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,890 -Ridiculous accent. -You're the Bean. 342 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,892 I am so confused right now. 343 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,311 You're a disappointment of a daughter. 344 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:10,732 [stutters] Oh, yeah? Well, I'm your mother and I have to love you. 345 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,902 But I don't like you, darling. 346 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,113 When you were little, I tried to poison your father, 347 00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:21,201 but I should have poisoned you instead, because all you do is mess things up. 348 00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,287 I didn't even want a child. 349 00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:27,457 I just had you to fulfill a prophecy, and now I'm a jealous, 350 00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:31,378 manipulative mess because you won't do what I say! Ow! 351 00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:35,340 At least I know how to complete something, unlike my daughter, 352 00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:39,052 who never finished anything in her life other than a pint of beer. 353 00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:42,431 -I'm not sure how this is helping. -They're just being really hurtful. 354 00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:47,102 If I weren't the real Dagmar, would I say this? 355 00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:49,271 I never loved you. 356 00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:50,689 [Trøgs gasping] 357 00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,734 I… I… 358 00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:59,281 It's settled. She is the real Dagmar. Seize the impostor. 359 00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:00,949 [Zøg blabbering] 360 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:05,412 Dagmar? What are you doing in Hell? And other Dagmar, same question. 361 00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:07,456 -[in normal voice] Dad? -"Dad"? 362 00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:10,209 How did you get down here? 363 00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:15,005 [imitating Dagmar] Um, did I say "Dad"? I meant "husband." 364 00:20:15,088 --> 00:20:16,340 Noice. 365 00:20:16,423 --> 00:20:17,507 [indistinct chatter] 366 00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:20,761 I know you're not Bean, just a demon that's been sent to torture me, 367 00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:23,096 but that's kinda what I thought about you anyway, 368 00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,224 so you're okay by me, demon. 369 00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:27,893 You know what? I'm gonna call you Beamon. 370 00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:30,187 [sighs] It's been a long day. 371 00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:32,648 [in normal voice] I couldn't get one normal parent? 372 00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:33,982 Dad, are you okay? 373 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:37,236 Get away from me. I told you I was the real Dagmar. 374 00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,404 Take my daughter back to the dungeon. 375 00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:43,450 And as for her two friends, throw them in the lava pit. Deep end. 376 00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:46,203 Damn! You are not mellowing with age. 377 00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:48,956 -No! -[Trøgs grunting] 378 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:51,458 [Dagmar grunting] 379 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,464 [all gasping] 380 00:20:57,547 --> 00:20:58,590 So much gasping. 381 00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:00,801 Look, the symbol. 382 00:21:01,468 --> 00:21:02,928 Not there, over there. 383 00:21:03,011 --> 00:21:04,554 [Trøgs] The symbol! 384 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:11,103 This must mean the girl, the elf, and the demon are the saviors. 385 00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:14,564 -[Trøgs] Welcome, saviors. -[Bean] Saviors? 386 00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:19,069 Wait a minute. She told us she was our savior. 387 00:21:19,152 --> 00:21:20,821 What should we do with the sexy impostor? 388 00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:24,199 -I don't care. Make her disappear forever. -[both yell] 389 00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:26,451 -Tie her up. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 390 00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:30,289 Get your disgusting paws off me. 391 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:35,961 Bean, don't do this to me. 392 00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:42,092 You know what, Mom? I used to love you, but it was all in my head. 393 00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:44,511 And my heart. And now, those are empty. 394 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:48,473 I'll never fall for one of your tricks again. 395 00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:51,810 Bean, at least give me my crown. It really doesn't suit you. 396 00:21:51,893 --> 00:21:55,230 Fine, I crown thee Queen of Lies. 397 00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,357 -[screams] -[laughs] 398 00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:02,863 Ugh! She got me again. 399 00:22:02,946 --> 00:22:04,990 Man, she's got that abandoning you thing down. 400 00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:09,244 [imitating Dagmar] Show us the way out, darlings. 401 00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:11,079 [in normal voice] Uh, I mean, get us out of here. 402 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,414 You got it, bub. 403 00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:15,917 -Come on, Dad. Let's go. -[groans] 404 00:22:20,255 --> 00:22:21,131 Up here. 405 00:22:21,214 --> 00:22:23,467 I ain't goin' back through there! Oh! 406 00:22:23,550 --> 00:22:26,011 Hey! [blabbers] 407 00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:33,018 Elfo! Before you go, I've never had ladder sex before. 408 00:22:33,101 --> 00:22:35,062 Sorry, I don't have 30 seconds. 409 00:22:38,899 --> 00:22:41,568 Archdruidess, we have a problem. 410 00:22:41,651 --> 00:22:44,654 All these things ever see is a problem. 411 00:22:45,655 --> 00:22:46,698 [grunts] 412 00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:50,952 [closing theme music playing]