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‎NETFLIX 原創影集

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‎（洗衣日-在這胼手胝足的年代
‎這是最接近假日的大事了）

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‎聽過來！

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‎但不要看過來！

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‎索古國王有令，今天是洗衣日

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‎一年一度的清洗
‎維持你唯一一件衣服的潔淨

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‎隔年再維持你身體的潔淨

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‎糟糕了，我不該混色洗的

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‎這樣會讓他們的臨終時刻亮麗許多

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‎希望這不代表
‎我的所有笑料也得不帶髒

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‎聽懂沒，伊爾瑪？我在跟妳說話

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‎當年有機會，我真該嫁給特比需的

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‎妳有沒有辦法洗快一點？

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‎我不能同時遮小弟弟和小屁屁

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‎要是我遮住小屁屁

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‎我的小弟弟就會露出來，有礙風化

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‎洗衣日不必求快，小伙子

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‎每件衣服都需要用肥皂好好刷洗

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‎然後曬上一天的太陽晾乾

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‎廢物才穿衣服

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‎你說得倒容易，你又不懂什麼叫體面

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‎也沒有私處

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‎你們就不能放輕鬆享受嗎？

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‎感覺陽光曬上皮膚，微風吹過頭髮

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‎就這麼一天別為自己身體感到羞恥

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‎好好玩玩

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‎把妳的靴子脫掉！

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‎看到沒？玩玩

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‎倒髒水囉

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‎（歡迎來到精靈巷
‎下水道層下方一公尺）

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‎-父王，那是什麼味道？
‎-今天是人類的洗衣日

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‎似乎他們在為我們送水

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‎潑上敞開的傷口感覺好舒服

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‎是馬路肉汁耶

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‎劇名：第15章
‎我們的身體，我們的精靈

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‎（隔離檢疫-禁止進入）

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‎請留步
‎國王的衛生與非人類服務部有令

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‎精靈巷目前在隔離檢疫中

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‎我朋友在裡面，還有我爸爸老爸

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‎我一定要見他們，讓我們進去！

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‎“隔離檢疫”一詞是指

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‎不准人進去，還是不准人出來？

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‎原來詞有意思嗎？

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‎感謝老天，救援來了

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‎國王派了勇敢的英雄來拯救…

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‎原來是阿福，我們死定了

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‎我不能眼睜睜看著同胞受苦

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‎我能幫什麼忙嗎？

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‎妳很重的樣子

50
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‎踩我們一下
‎替我們脫離苦海吧

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‎會議！會議要開始了！

52
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‎大家都進來！用爬的也要爬來！

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‎不要爬過髒水！

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‎無三不成禮

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‎我們面臨了前所未有的健康危機

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‎各種治療都宣告無效

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‎我就是在看你，阿慰

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‎-我們該怎麼辦？
‎-我們快死了！

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‎拜託快點，我坐在阿嘔旁邊

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‎安靜！還有一個辦法，但那只是傳說

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‎一棵古樹的果子，俗稱傳說果

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‎但那只是古老的精靈故事

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‎沒人真的見過傳說果

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‎我見過

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‎那時我在旅行，挨家挨戶兜售糖果

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‎那份差使不容易
‎但我告訴你們，還是有好康的

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‎我遇見了幾位寂寞的女士，沒錯

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‎她們想從銷售精靈旅人的懷抱中
‎求得安慰

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‎我記得有一次卡在煙囪裡
‎結果那戶人家的男人…

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‎快講重點！

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‎先生，我當時在上游處

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‎巧克力極品的銷售成績不佳

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‎這東西就要這麼唸，“極品”

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‎快講重點！

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‎於是我翻山越嶺

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‎來到了食人怪之谷

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‎我就是在那裡看到了傳說果樹

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‎少來了，食人怪之谷？我高度懷疑

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‎食人怪是我們的宿敵
‎是每個人的敵人

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‎對，除了他們自己，坐下，阿煩

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‎前往食人怪領域的事不必再提

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‎我們還沒拿到果子就會被殺死

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‎夠了！我們注意到你了

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‎也謝謝你，阿嚇

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‎我幫你們拿果子，拿整棵樹都行

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‎但代價不便宜

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‎先生，請開價

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‎還有，請報上姓名

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‎人家叫我“帥哥”小韋德布羅迪

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‎我開價一萬金幣

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‎先收一半，另一半同時收取

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‎請稍等，我們需要傳帽子

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‎阿腦？

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‎我都不知道你們精靈這麼有錢

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‎這個嗎？裡面甚至沒有巧克力

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‎我們賣糖果賺到好多

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‎多到數不清了

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‎老爸，你在這裡，我有事跟你說

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‎阿福，那些可憐人都沒救了
‎我本身也不太樂觀

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‎老爸，別胡說了，你會比大家都長壽

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‎老爸？

102
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‎老爸？你在地上做什麼？

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‎兒子，我的人生可能到此為止了

104
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‎我還有好多事想告訴你

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‎有好多事你需要知道

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‎隨便舉個例好了，千萬別摸病人

107
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‎其次是你媽的事

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‎我一直難以啟齒是有原因的

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‎因為你看，她已經死了

110
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‎什麼？什麼意思？

111
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‎一切是從她停止呼吸開始的

112
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‎不是，我知道死是什麼意思

113
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‎我是說，她是怎麼死的？

114
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‎老實說，是我害死她的

115
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‎這件事會糾纏我下半輩子

116
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‎這下半輩子就要結束了

117
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‎我好像要開始昏迷了

118
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‎對，開始了

119
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‎先生，我需要跟你去

120
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‎我爸快死了

121
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‎抱歉，我都單獨行動

122
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‎求求你，我誠實、不幽默、勤奮

123
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‎必要時還可以拿來壓艙甚至當錨使用

124
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‎如果你想查我是否可靠，她就在這裡

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‎嗨

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‎你們兩個有沒有遇過怪物

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‎經歷過可能喪命的探險？

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‎有

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‎而且頻繁得可怕

130
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‎既然如此，你們可以上船
‎說故事取悅我們

131
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‎填補我取悅不了大家的時候

132
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‎路西，來，上船吧

133
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‎我們需要你幫忙的

134
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‎荳荳，這裡的人民和精靈
‎更需要我幫忙

135
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‎如果妳沒那麼自私，妳就會瞭解

136
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‎現在該有人為這些
‎可憐又富有的精靈著想了

137
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‎希望你們頂得住危險
‎還有滿肚子的焗豆

138
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‎你真像我們認識的一個人

139
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‎他是一艘派對駁船的船長

140
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‎哦，那是我爸“帥哥”大韋德布羅迪

141
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‎我們一拍兩散，關係僵到不行

142
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‎我爸也是

143
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‎調頭！

144
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‎危險才是我的志業

145
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‎當英雄不過是興趣

146
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‎但我真正的熱情
‎是永無休止的自我提升

147
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‎慢著，你是在吹噓自己的豐功偉業？

148
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‎好酷

149
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‎你的新大副來了

150
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‎你有適合我身材的水手服真好

151
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‎對，那隻猴子死後，我差點丟了

152
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‎這樣挺舒服的

153
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‎快點享受吧，現在還有樂趣

154
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‎大合唱、沙壺球、益智遊戲之夜

155
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‎我還喜歡自助餐

156
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:03,378
‎但慢慢接近食人怪領域後就要小心了

157
00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,039
‎因為你們就會成為自助餐

158
00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:07,877
‎唯一的益智遊戲
‎是用你們的頭骨來做的

159
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,474
‎-當燭臺？
‎-當保齡球？

160
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:10,549
‎答對了

161
00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:27,018
‎趁現在放輕鬆，一旦進入食人怪領域

162
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‎我們就需要保持警惕了

163
00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,784
‎從來沒人從那裡活著回來

164
00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:33,241
‎就算有，也絕口不提經過

165
00:09:33,322 --> 00:09:34,492
‎你現在就在提啊

166
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,284
‎你們緊張兮兮的胡扯夠了吧

167
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:37,827
‎我們需要做好作戰準備了

168
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:40,500
‎上次我被食人怪包圍住

169
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,920
‎幸虧我早知道他們怕火

170
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‎我就憑最後一根火柴
‎嚇走了整群食人怪

171
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‎餘火還夠點燃一根雪茄慶祝呢

172
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:54,836
‎沒想到雪茄引來一群吸血的菸草蝙蝠

173
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:57,047
‎但那是另一個故事了

174
00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,638
‎我現在就說給你們聽

175
00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:01,183
‎躺舒服點，這故事可長著呢

176
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‎不會吧

177
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‎（路西的衛生醫療倉）

178
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‎精靈們

179
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:08,652
‎要路西的地獄關懷醫療保健
‎請往這邊走

180
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,863
‎跟大多數的醫療保健方案相比
‎這方案其實沒那麼邪惡

181
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:14,574
‎什麼是“最後遺囑”？

182
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‎只是你和你最親的親戚之間的
‎一份小小同意書

183
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,540
‎在這裡打勾表示我是你哥

184
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:22,004
‎還有這裡表示我是你媽

185
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,415
‎好啦！請進

186
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,261
‎真不妙

187
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:42,224
‎來一大杯水幫助吞嚥吧？

188
00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:47,061
‎老爸，你醒了？

189
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:51,225
‎剛才的昏迷真是美妙極了
‎只是熱了點

190
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:54,737
‎我周圍有百萬隻跟你一樣的小黑貓

191
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:57,160
‎有的有翅膀，有的拿火叉

192
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:59,829
‎我的每個老友都在那裡，還有阿怪

193
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,239
‎不對，他還在這裡

194
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,909
‎我兒子阿福呢？

195
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:07,077
‎他去偷你之前說的那種果子了

196
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:08,126
‎什麼？

197
00:11:15,716 --> 00:11:18,006
‎我這就往你臉上揍一拳，你這…

198
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:24,765
‎扭斷你脖子，你…

199
00:11:28,604 --> 00:11:30,234
‎你能不能閉嘴？

200
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,485
‎挖出你的眼珠，塞進你的…

201
00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:36,028
‎還要拉下你的舌頭

202
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:46,464
‎“膽小男孩的奇幻故事插圖本”？

203
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:49,709
‎“我如何征服一群食人怪”

204
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,842
‎“菸草蝙蝠吸我的血”？

205
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:53,879
‎那個下流的騙子

206
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:57,133
‎他講的故事都是
‎這本寫給膽小男孩的書裡的

207
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,684
‎荳荳，快醒來！

208
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:03,851
‎這人才不是英雄，他是騙子
‎我有證據！

209
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,807
‎什麼？有人吃餅乾？

210
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:13,524
‎對，大概是吧，一定是那樣

211
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:23,825
‎荳荳！快醒來！

212
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:33,092
‎該死的髒藤蔓
‎把你的葉子從她身上拿開！

213
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,972
‎那些到底是什麼植物？

214
00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:41,508
‎你來說啊，你這大騙子！

215
00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:43,642
‎你根本不是什麼勇士吧？

216
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,353
‎當然不是，我只是賣二手船的

217
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,182
‎（韋德二手船-專精凹損橡皮艇）

218
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:51,147
‎我同意做這檔事時
‎可沒同意這檔事！

219
00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:52,608
‎我走了！

220
00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:57,645
‎你想買二手駁船就找我！

221
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:06,199
‎真是的…

222
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:10,043
‎我們沒辦法了！只能游過去！

223
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:11,122
‎快！

224
00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:29,805
‎所以我都不買船，只租船

225
00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:53,825
‎荳荳，妳看

226
00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:01,878
‎你真有叢林本色耶

227
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:04,466
‎不，我只是很氣這些藤蔓

228
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:08,135
‎我們好像快到了

229
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:10,182
‎-妳為什麼這樣說？
‎-那些食人怪

230
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:18,356
‎等一下

231
00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:22,442
‎韋德說過食人怪怕火，怕得要死！

232
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,279
‎韋德是撒謊不打草稿的混蛋

233
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:27,954
‎荳荳，我發誓他全是照本宣科

234
00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:28,873
‎根本沒有…

235
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:32,662
‎荳荳，不要

236
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:38,751
‎我是媞亞碧安妮公主！

237
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:41,046
‎魔火公主！

238
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:44,840
‎火！看到這木棍上面是什麼嗎？

239
00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:48,009
‎快給我果子！否則就吃火吧！

240
00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:49,925
‎嚇死你們的火！

241
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,698
‎你們倆可以靠近一點走嗎？

242
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:07,662
‎一切全靠我了

243
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,830
‎今天我是繼阿勇之後最勇敢的精靈

244
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:13,791
‎至少在他畏懼退縮
‎把阿勇唸成“阿讚”

245
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:15,621
‎成為鼓掌精靈以前

246
00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:26,007
‎我就知道你會來救我們

247
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:27,803
‎我就知道你會回來救我們

248
00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:15,220
‎傳說果樹！

249
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:19,397
‎如果這件事老爸沒撒謊
‎也許他真的沒偷我的大學基金

250
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,481
‎嘿！你竟敢偷採施捨樹！

251
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:29,532
‎我們抓到這個想偷聖果的爬樹精

252
00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:32,203
‎先是那個沒禮貌的女孩
‎現在又是這個小王八蛋？

253
00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:34,662
‎拿隻雞塞進他肚子
‎再把他塞進女孩的肚子

254
00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:37,123
‎我們明天做完禮拜
‎就有豐盛的早午餐吃

255
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,286
‎就是他，爸爸！

256
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:45,876
‎就是他把我眼睛戳瞎的！

257
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:49,755
‎孩子！夠了！明天再拿他的頭骨玩

258
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:50,932
‎媽

259
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:54,180
‎把他裹上我們的七種神聖香料
‎丟進地窖

260
00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:05,823
‎別擔心，荳荳！我會救妳！

261
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:08,319
‎嘿，我又不是什麼落難女子

262
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,822
‎嚴格來說我應該是啦，但我還是要說

263
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:19,582
‎濕手指？好噁心！
‎你是哪裡長大的，穀倉嗎？

264
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:24,254
‎別逼我動手，放開我朋友，我們就走

265
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:30,551
‎準備好，壞阿福，現在發威吧

266
00:17:50,944 --> 00:17:51,784
‎不！

267
00:17:54,656 --> 00:17:55,866
‎喔，不！

268
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:15,051
‎我不會有事，只要稍微躺一下

269
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:17,600
‎嘩，阿福

270
00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:19,969
‎你滿腔怒火的時候滿嚇人的

271
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:21,177
‎我們快走吧

272
00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:23,516
‎沒有那天殺的果子可不行

273
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:34,741
‎別逼我動手，殿下

274
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:37,952
‎我只需要你們樹上的果子
‎我的同胞快死了

275
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:39,453
‎你這王八蛋是哪來的？

276
00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:42,408
‎夢王國，其實他們以前是住…

277
00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:47,964
‎快採果子！要是被警衛看到
‎我就得吃掉你了

278
00:18:57,636 --> 00:18:59,506
‎不必多說，快跟我來

279
00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:06,402
‎這條舊下水道直通河流

280
00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:08,058
‎妳真是一位酷皇后

281
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,187
‎謝了，這個送妳

282
00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:15,073
‎很抱歉，身體我們已經吃掉了

283
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:16,107
‎快走吧

284
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:22,906
‎別踩老鼠，阿福！

285
00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:25,159
‎阿福？

286
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:26,827
‎到此為止了

287
00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:28,917
‎我說過最精采的故事要結束了

288
00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:30,042
‎我的人生故事！

289
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:33,167
‎如果你看到阿福
‎請轉告他我愛他好嗎？

290
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:34,965
‎他媽媽也愛他

291
00:19:35,048 --> 00:19:38,838
‎我的器官停止運作了，別了

292
00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:44,136
‎別了，你這老傻蛋

293
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,890
‎成功了！我們拿到果子了！

294
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:48,397
‎朋友，太遲了，他剛往生

295
00:19:48,478 --> 00:19:49,478
‎不，老爸！

296
00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:54,031
‎求求你，老爸！

297
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,485
‎他走了，阿福

298
00:19:57,571 --> 00:19:59,241
‎他很快會跟螃蟹同在

299
00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:00,953
‎可以讓我獨處一下嗎？

300
00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:10,502
‎老爸，你生前是個好爸爸

301
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:13,424
‎即使你的故事又臭又長

302
00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:17,843
‎難笑又謊話連篇，我還是會很想你

303
00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:21,009
‎真不敢相信你真的走了

304
00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:23,354
‎該死，我沒走！

305
00:20:23,430 --> 00:20:24,720
‎老爸，你還活著！

306
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:26,726
‎該死，我們全都活著！

307
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,605
‎我聽到你說的每一個字了

308
00:20:31,688 --> 00:20:33,018
‎知道嗎，阿福？

309
00:20:33,148 --> 00:20:35,438
‎我慶幸我偷了你的大學基金

310
00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:36,525
‎什麼？

311
00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:36,594
‎字幕翻譯： 韓宜辰