1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,926 [theme music playing] 2 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,430 [man] Hey! 3 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:37,703 [Bean grunts] 4 00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:40,577 Welcome to your new home, Princess. 5 00:00:40,665 --> 00:00:42,915 You're late. Put these on. 6 00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:46,547 Morning miseries begin at 5:00 a.m. 7 00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:49,134 Wow. I thought Hell was bad. 8 00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:51,684 [bell tolling] 9 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,977 Oh, man, I'm late for morning prayers! 10 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,691 Come on, hurry up. Hide! 11 00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:04,771 Relax, they'll never know I'm here. 12 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,990 [yells and grunts] 13 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:22,167 Sister Tiabeanie, you're late again! 14 00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:23,418 Sorry, Mother Superior. 15 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:27,670 I didn't get a lot of sleep on account of my bed being a granite slab. 16 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,804 Granite? Why does she get the good slab? 17 00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:33,012 Princesses always get the best slabs. 18 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:35,643 Guys, I did not ask for this. Come on. 19 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,640 You throw one little party and Vikings take over the kingdom. 20 00:01:38,723 --> 00:01:39,933 Who hasn't been there? 21 00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,889 [Luci] You have got to learn to read a room. 22 00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:47,443 Sisters, do not be distracted by this heathen. 23 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:48,654 It's mealtime. 24 00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:53,243 Our soup of the day is hot dog water, and for that, let us rejoice. 25 00:01:53,321 --> 00:02:00,041 ♪ I am bad and you are bad And we are bad together ♪ 26 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,790 ♪ Humanity's a wretched lot ♪ 27 00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:04,332 ♪ ...wretched lot ♪ 28 00:02:04,415 --> 00:02:07,245 -♪ But God is slightly better ♪ -♪ God is slightly better ♪ 29 00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:09,375 Man, I'm gonna be humming that all day. 30 00:02:09,879 --> 00:02:11,629 -[all slurp] -[slurps] 31 00:02:11,714 --> 00:02:14,304 -[all slurp] -[slurps] 32 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:17,054 -[all slurp] -[slurps] 33 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,217 -[all slurp] -[slurps] 34 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:21,345 -[all slurp] -[Bean slurps] 35 00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:23,312 Oh, my... 36 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:26,693 Who is angering God with their unholy slurping? 37 00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:28,941 You're doing great. Slurp harder! 38 00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:31,113 [slurps loudly] 39 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:34,030 What? It's good. 40 00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:39,331 Sorry, I've lost track. 41 00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:42,249 -What are we praying for now? -Oh, for... 42 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:48,538 We are praying, Sister Tiabeanie, that God might see fit to help the poor. 43 00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:49,626 If you want to help them, 44 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:52,921 why not just melt this God guy down and pass him out like coins? 45 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,676 -Cut out the middle-man, right, guys? -[all gasp] 46 00:02:55,758 --> 00:03:00,388 Blasphemer! How dare you bring logic into God's house? 47 00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:01,761 Return to your slab! 48 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,098 Okay, sorry, sorry. 49 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,064 I don't know what's gotten into her. 50 00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:07,314 [all gasp] 51 00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:22,661 You know, I would have left willingly! 52 00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:28,708 Oh, hello, Bean. 53 00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:34,091 I've had Sorcerio work up a special effect so smoke comes out my ears when I yell. 54 00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:38,382 Putting in the pellets, pouring in the vinegar. 55 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,638 Thinking about what I'm gonna say and... 56 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,930 [yells] Jeez, it burns! This is all your fault! 57 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:46,135 Daddy, please, I've learned my lesson. 58 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:49,726 I'll never throw a giant awesome party while you're away again. 59 00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:51,192 Aw! Really? 60 00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:54,321 And I promise to never have another drink. 61 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,740 You're drinking right now. 62 00:03:56,527 --> 00:03:58,857 -Where did that come from? -[chuckles] You're welcome. 63 00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:01,822 Sorry. I'm done threatening you. 64 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:05,078 You screwed up as a princess. You screwed up as a nun. 65 00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:07,291 Those are the only two girl things I know. 66 00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:10,962 You're a screwup, too. What about that tax on yelling that you had? 67 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:12,882 It came back to haunt me! 68 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,421 [coins jingling] 69 00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:16,335 [chuckles] 70 00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:20,722 -This ain't about my impulse control. -Or lack thereof, tubby. 71 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:21,892 [groans] That is it! 72 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:25,640 You're a pampered, irresponsible layabout! 73 00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:29,103 Whatever. I'll be in the spa room getting a hot emerald massage. 74 00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:35,105 [tuts] No, you don't, smart guy. 'Cause I'm banishing you from the castle. 75 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,991 You're a good-for-nothing and you're good at nothing. 76 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,529 And you ain't coming back 'til you appreciate 77 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,743 all the money I poured into yelling at you. 78 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:48,124 Fine. I can make it on my own. I don't need you. I don't need anyone. 79 00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:49,544 Come on, guys. 80 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:51,787 [steam hisses] 81 00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:53,544 Now it goes off? 82 00:04:55,878 --> 00:04:58,338 Man, I can't believe Dad kicked us out. 83 00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:01,883 I can't believe he called you a worthless, bucktoothed degenerate. 84 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,388 -He didn't say that. -Doesn't make it any less true. 85 00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:07,680 Who cares what he thinks? I don't need my dad's approval. 86 00:05:07,765 --> 00:05:10,265 Spoken like a true homeless teenager. 87 00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:13,059 I used to be a princess, too. 88 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,856 What does Zog know anyway? 89 00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:18,529 I'm probably good at so many things I just haven't tried yet. 90 00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:22,109 You know what? This isn't so bad. No, no, no. This is actually good. 91 00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:25,276 This is an opportunity to start fresh. 92 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:30,200 I told you strumpets to stay off me block. Oh, Your Highness. 93 00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:34,126 Bunty? Why are you throwing trash out your window? 94 00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:36,788 This isn't a window. This is our trash hole. 95 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:38,838 We're far too poor for windows. 96 00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:41,801 We only just got a door when the horse ate the wall. 97 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:45,553 Didn't agree with him, though. Step around and come in. 98 00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:48,808 [indistinct chatter] 99 00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:51,267 [whistling] 100 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:54,021 Children, this is Princess Tiabeanie. 101 00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:57,403 She's going to be staying with us until she realizes how good she has it. 102 00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:58,942 -Hello. -Hello. 103 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,105 No, I couldn't impose, Bunty. 104 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:04,164 It'd be taking precious food out of the mouths of your kids. 105 00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:06,778 Rubbish. We never turn away a hungry soul. 106 00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:11,246 We've got this pot of stew here, and we can always add another cat. Mmm. 107 00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:14,039 -[baby cooing] -Whee! [chuckles] 108 00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:15,503 Wait, what are you doing? 109 00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,753 Pig milk for the runty ones. 110 00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:19,665 [Elfo] Mmm, mmm. 111 00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:23,843 You sure we can stay, Bunts? 112 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:27,675 No worries. There's plenty of room since Allison went to a better place. 113 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,972 -Oh. -No, she went to Twinkletown. 114 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,886 -Ah. -Where she was ripped apart 115 00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:33,024 by street dogs. 116 00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,641 -Oh. -They were puppies. 117 00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:35,767 Aw. 118 00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:37,983 Shame, though. She were only nine years old, 119 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,404 just a year from retirement. 120 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,862 -She had a job? -They all got jobs. 121 00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,903 I'm a midwife. Excuse me for a moment. 122 00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:46,276 Oh! 123 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,203 [crying] 124 00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:50,912 Uh-uh. If you can cry, you can work. 125 00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:57,754 Oh, my God, jobs. That's what people do all day! 126 00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:01,884 All right. Well, I'm off to get my first job, guys. 127 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,633 What's minimum wage around here? 128 00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:05,054 Two lashings an hour. 129 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,473 Gotta start somewhere. Elfo, you coming? [Elfo] Nah, I kinda got my pants full over here. 130 00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:11,851 More pow-pow on the bum-bum, please. 131 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:14,180 -[sheep bleating] -Just remember, 132 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,807 this job is easier than it looks. 133 00:07:16,894 --> 00:07:20,064 Okay, guys, listen up. I'm gonna try out my sheep call on you. 134 00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,355 -[howling] -[sheep bleating in fear] 135 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,442 No, wait, come back! 136 00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:25,696 [Bean howling] 137 00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,913 Well, at least you kept them together. 138 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:33,742 Every time I turn my head away, something bad happens. 139 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,208 [crashing] 140 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,670 [Bean] What was that noise? 141 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:43,545 -Whew. I'm a good butcher. -This is a pet shop. 142 00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:51,474 This isn't working out. Maybe I really am a good-at-nothing. 143 00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:52,644 Good-for-nothing. 144 00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,432 [groans] Even that. 145 00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:01,558 [Elfo] Bean, don't feel bad. Sometimes being an adult 146 00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:04,647 just means accepting that things take time. [burps] 147 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,994 Ooh, I would not kiss me right now. 148 00:08:07,069 --> 00:08:08,239 I wouldn't worry about that. 149 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,071 I'll never find a place to fit in. 150 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:14,076 I'm just gonna crawl back to my dad 'cause I'm a loser who can't keep a job. 151 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,160 Hey, if you're gonna crawl back, can I ride you like a horse? 152 00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:18,076 All right. 153 00:08:19,957 --> 00:08:22,077 -[Luci] Giddy-up, Bean! -Whoa, there. 154 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:25,668 My apprentice has gone missing under mysterious circumstances, 155 00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:28,415 but instead of looking for him, I could just hire you. 156 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,678 It's a real time-saver. 157 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,469 I don't know, Stan. I'm not really good at anything. 158 00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:35,103 Do you like short conversations with interesting people? 159 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,021 I guess. 160 00:08:36,098 --> 00:08:38,478 Great. I hope you don't mind wearing a uniform. 161 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:42,307 Well, we best be heading to work. [laughs] 162 00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:43,976 That's an executioner joke. 163 00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:46,525 You'll hear all of them in the first 15 minutes, 164 00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:49,199 then it's basically just human tragedy. 165 00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:50,278 [whistling] 166 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,657 I always wanted to be in the entertainment industry. 167 00:08:54,742 --> 00:08:57,542 You know, in Hell, I was a communications major. 168 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,876 This is the thumb screw. Whoa-ho! 169 00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,672 This is the rack. Whoa! 170 00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:12,005 And this is the iron maiden, and this is the book of golf jokes. 171 00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:15,559 "My wife says I play too much golf 172 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:18,138 so I decided to make a change. I got a new wife." 173 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,314 [moans] 174 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,096 "After seeing my golf score, 175 00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:24,305 my caddy gave me one great piece of advice. Take up tennis." 176 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:26,477 No! I beg you! 177 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:29,276 Since this is your first day, we'll keep it simple. 178 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,990 Torture this guy a little then get him his last meal. 179 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,742 Oof. Um, this looks... Yikes. 180 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:40,445 You know, I'm hungry. Are you hungry? Let's do the meal part first. 181 00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:42,828 -I could eat. -Great. What are we having? 182 00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:44,785 It's your last meal. Choice is yours. 183 00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:46,705 Ooh. Uh, stew. 184 00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:49,554 Hmm. No, I had stew yesterday. 185 00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:53,380 -Okay, uh, chicken. -Fried or roasted? 186 00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:55,507 I was thinking roasted. 187 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,555 Um... 188 00:09:57,638 --> 00:10:01,308 -[stammers] All right, fried? -I... [sighs] 189 00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:05,402 -Well, what do you want? -Oh, I don't care. It's your last meal. 190 00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:09,819 Fine, fine. Steak. I want steak for my last meal. Okay? 191 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:12,110 -All right. I could do steak. -[sighs in relief] 192 00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:15,494 Actually, I'm sorry. That's just so heavy, you know? 193 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:18,157 You know what? Maybe stew. Stew? [screaming] 194 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:24,326 -Wow. You're a natural. -Really? 195 00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:27,165 -Oh, yeah. -Don't leave me alone with her! 196 00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:28,671 I guess I am. 197 00:10:31,922 --> 00:10:33,922 [cackling] 198 00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:39,603 [yelps] 199 00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:44,270 I've captured the witch who abducted those people in the woods, 200 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,732 way back to the Hansel and Gretel cold case. 201 00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:49,442 Good work bringing her in alive and unharmed. 202 00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:51,903 We'll chop her head off this afternoon. 203 00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,107 [cackling] 204 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:03,536 Everybody have fun at work today. Alfred, don't suck on your pickax. 205 00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,581 Mining makes me nervous. 206 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:10,245 [exhales] Now it's just me and the wee ones. 207 00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:14,376 So I'm thinking a little light powdering and then maybe nap time? 208 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:17,045 Oh, I've got something special for you. 209 00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:20,644 You do? Aw, that's so nice... What the hell? 210 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:25,557 Let's not overdo the baby thing, now. [slurps] This is made of wood! 211 00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:27,733 [in baby voice] Baby doesn't like playtime? 212 00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:31,272 Wisten, wady... [groans] I mean, listen, lady. 213 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,777 It was okay when I was taking things a little too far. 214 00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:37,529 Aw, baby's cranky. Baby does need a nap. 215 00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:39,953 [lid slams, locks click] 216 00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:43,202 This is no kinda place for a grown-ass elf. 217 00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:45,405 So I gotta know, 218 00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:48,536 is that whole flying broom thing just an old wives' tale? 219 00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:52,134 Like how people expect me to kiss frogs and talk to birds? [yelps] 220 00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:53,801 [cackles] 221 00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:57,009 Okay, or you're just a crazy old witch. 222 00:11:57,091 --> 00:11:59,591 But maybe that isn't what you wanted to be. 223 00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:01,427 Plus, there can't be that many opportunities 224 00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:04,392 for older women who like to cackle. Is that it? 225 00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:06,433 [cackling] 226 00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:09,057 [sighs] Are you crazy or under a curse? 227 00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:10,855 [cackling] 228 00:12:10,938 --> 00:12:11,978 Maybe both. 229 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,243 -[bones crack] -Oh! Me back! 230 00:12:16,318 --> 00:12:19,238 Oh, nothing a few days on the rack won't cure. 231 00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:23,411 Oh, that's the stuff. [inhales sharply] Oh, yes! 232 00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:24,622 [inhales sharply and moans] 233 00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:27,502 Guess I won't be chopping off any heads today. 234 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,290 Looks like you got a reprieve. 235 00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:34,003 [Stan] No, looks like you got a promotion. You're the executioner today. 236 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:39,592 Oh, wee one, there's no escape from the fun cage. 237 00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:44,854 -[Elfo grunts] -Come back, Baby Elfo! 238 00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:47,810 I'm not a baby. I'm a toddler. 239 00:12:51,395 --> 00:12:53,265 [Bunty] Baby Elfo! 240 00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:56,395 Blood ponchos! Get your blood ponchos! 241 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:59,574 Can't stand in the splash zone without a blood poncho! 242 00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:03,573 This is all happening so quick. I'm really nervous. What do I do? 243 00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:06,787 For starters, you should have put on the black hood before coming out. 244 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:08,249 Now everyone knows who you are. 245 00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:11,209 [chuckles] Rookie mistake. Oh, dear. 246 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:12,290 [sighs] 247 00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:16,132 I'm not sure I can do this. I've never killed anyone before. 248 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:19,342 -[clears throat] -Who wasn't trying to kill me first. 249 00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:21,683 Or bother me. Or marry me. 250 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:24,549 Bean, you're a natural. And I've seen you torture. 251 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:28,017 Just think of this as torture, but with a big, splattery finish. 252 00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,978 Now get out there and let's see some gore. 253 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:35,614 I'll be right here with you, okay? If you get nervous, just look into my eye. 254 00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:37,936 [screaming] 255 00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,775 [laughing] 256 00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:40,780 [gasps] 257 00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:44,411 My little girl. All grown up and choppin' heads. 258 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:47,200 And all it took was some loving banishment. 259 00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:51,082 [babies crying] 260 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:59,670 [panting] No, not the woods. People go in there and never come back. 261 00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:02,875 Remember, run between the trees! 262 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:05,337 [exhales] I'm just gonna lie down. 263 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,770 [herald] And that concludes the warm-up entertainment. 264 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,943 Let's hear it for Gary the Grabass. 265 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:19,022 [crowd applauding halfheartedly] 266 00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:24,196 And now, the main event. 267 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,700 Please put your hands together in prayer 268 00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:31,832 for the people-snatching witch! 269 00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:33,912 [crowd hooting and cheering] 270 00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:39,999 [clears throat] Hello? Everybody? 271 00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:42,127 -[man 1] Cut off her head! -[woman] Come on, kill her! 272 00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:43,304 [man 2] What's the holdup? 273 00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:47,552 This is a goddamn solemn occasion, so shut the hell up, all right? 274 00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:48,966 [Luci] Take off your shirt! 275 00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:52,144 You guys, have some compassion and respect here. 276 00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:56,604 This poor woman is nervous. She's shaking, she's sweating. 277 00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:59,609 This is the first time she's ever been killed. 278 00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:00,980 Give her a break, okay? 279 00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:03,356 She's talking about herself. 280 00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:07,534 I'm sorry, I guess I have to chop your head off now. 281 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:08,985 Do you have any last words? 282 00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:11,874 You could apologize. Maybe then the king would pardon you. 283 00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:14,542 Don't bother. I can't hear nothin'. 284 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,502 Come on, this is it. 285 00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:19,082 At least give us something to remember you by. 286 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:20,248 As long as it's not-- 287 00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,126 [cackling] 288 00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:23,672 What is wrong with you? 289 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,796 It's like you want me to chop your head off. 290 00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:27,553 Help a sister out. 291 00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:33,965 Stay sharp, son. It might go foul. 292 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:46,280 You can do it, Bean. Just use the force. Centrifugal force. 293 00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:49,622 Hey, choppa, choppa. Swing, choppa. 294 00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:53,368 That's my little girl, everyone. Murdering that hag. 295 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:11,264 Daddy, why is she going so slow? 296 00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:14,305 I'm watching the same execution as you, son. I don't know. 297 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:20,770 I can't. 298 00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:22,654 [crowd] Aw! 299 00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:25,481 This is the worst field trip ever. 300 00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:29,357 I misspoke, Bean. You know how I said you were a failure and a quitter? 301 00:16:29,446 --> 00:16:32,526 I forgot one more thing. You're also a loser. 302 00:16:32,616 --> 00:16:34,076 Make way for the loser. 303 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:36,699 Coming through. Here she is. 304 00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:40,247 Failure slash quitter slash loser. The triple-threat. 305 00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,542 [laughs] There she goes. 306 00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:46,006 Every time that girl gets a little responsibility, 307 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:48,258 somebody winds up alive. 308 00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:57,926 Well, that's it, I guess. There's no place for me in Dreamland. 309 00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,887 I've hit the bottom of the barrel. [sighs] 310 00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:03,187 Move along! You're bad for business. 311 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:07,152 Maybe I'm just not cut out for the high-pressure lifestyle of the big city. 312 00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:12,534 It's not for everybody. Me-flavored water, 15 cents. 313 00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:16,294 Come taste my knees, 15 cents. 314 00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:25,964 I suck. The only thing I'm good at is sitting on this rock and crying. 315 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,045 [crying] 316 00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:27,959 [gasps] 317 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:31,547 I ain't no rock and I've heard better crying. 318 00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:39,314 [moans] Just bury me alive next to these elf tracks. 319 00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:41,481 -Where do you think he was going? -Who? 320 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,940 Well, we can add detective to the list of things you're bad at. 321 00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:46,192 There's only one elf in town. 322 00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:50,573 Oh! Elfo! His tracks lead right toward that tree. 323 00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:52,112 [Luci sniffing] 324 00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:54,566 It looks like he turned away at the last second, 325 00:17:54,656 --> 00:17:56,196 then hit this other tree. 326 00:17:56,283 --> 00:18:00,703 Then he cried, kicked that rock, hopped around in pain, 327 00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:03,078 then stomped angrily down this trail, 328 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:06,035 where this demented squirrel stole his shoe. 329 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:07,999 [snarling] 330 00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:21,432 [Elfo] Whoa. 331 00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:28,266 Hi. Elfo. And you are? 332 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:30,687 Amused by your wittle twousers. 333 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:35,156 If you're referring to my nappy, it's actually war pants. 334 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,829 Well, I should probably get back to battle. 335 00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:38,988 [yelping and grunting] 336 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,122 Ah! 337 00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,746 Mmm. Mmm. 338 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:52,796 Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. 339 00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:56,675 -[yells] -Looks like we have a window licker. 340 00:18:56,760 --> 00:19:01,850 Come, the candy inside tastes much better. Less bird droppings. 341 00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:04,602 -He's Hansel. -Und she's Gretel. 342 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:06,435 So Gretel and Hansel? 343 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,560 [in German] Nein, Hansel und Gretel! 344 00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:09,937 [in English] Please, come in. 345 00:19:10,023 --> 00:19:10,863 [in German] Schnell! 346 00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:19,701 Mmm, wow. Good cocoa. 347 00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:22,333 Yeah, buttery mouthfeel, good viscosity. 348 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:25,961 Do I detect some kind of mallow? I wanna say marsh. 349 00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:28,709 Oh, you must have excellent taste. 350 00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:30,882 [both snickering] 351 00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:35,337 Don't give away the game. When Germans laugh, people get nervous. 352 00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,764 Can I do the thing about having him for dinner? 353 00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:40,053 That's fine. He's a dummkopf. It doesn't matter. 354 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:41,467 Let's fatten him up! 355 00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:44,465 He's looking at us, so I'm going to stop whispering now. 356 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:48,147 You say you come from the land of candy? 357 00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:53,438 Then you must love peppermint swirlies und chocolate logs und sugarplums. 358 00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:56,855 Und none of them are dusted mit sleeping powder. 359 00:19:56,945 --> 00:19:58,025 Mmm. [chuckles] 360 00:19:58,113 --> 00:20:02,413 I'll tell you, if I lived here, I'd probably eat the whole place. 361 00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:04,792 [chuckles] I don't know how you stop yourselves. 362 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:07,210 Oh, we're more meat eaters now. 363 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:16,920 Oh! All that candy made me so tired. I'm just gonna lay down in this pan. 364 00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:21,087 He might as well just pour butter on himself. He is! 365 00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:23,598 I'm confused. Does he want to die? 366 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,270 No, I just don't want to stick. 367 00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:33,443 Hey. Hey, let me out. 368 00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:36,646 I'll show you where me pot o' gold is. 369 00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:39,315 Maybe he is a leprechaun. He's dancing a jig. 370 00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:40,784 No, he's just boiling. 371 00:20:40,864 --> 00:20:41,704 [Elfo screaming] 372 00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:48,912 Judging from the height of these tongue marks, 373 00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:51,287 this house has recently been licked by an elf. 374 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,750 First that little guy, now you two? [chuckles] 375 00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:56,666 Has anyone else come by here today? 376 00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:59,925 No, no, no. But come in. Make yourself casserole. 377 00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:01,678 I mean, comfortable. 378 00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:06,269 [sighs] You're just in time for supper. 379 00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:10,517 Do you like ham? This is like ham, but it's not ham. 380 00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:13,942 How cute. It looks like a little monkey all roasted up with onions. 381 00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:17,232 Ja. It does, but it's not. Eat. 382 00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:24,032 [swallows] Hmm. I like this, but as a friend. 383 00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:27,203 Whatever it is, it's delicious. 384 00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:40,513 Oh, my God! [crying] 385 00:21:40,590 --> 00:21:42,970 You served me Elfo? 386 00:21:43,051 --> 00:21:44,471 I thought I didn't like him. 387 00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:50,431 Don't be a dummy bear. Elf is dessert meat. It's still cooking. 388 00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:53,475 -Ow! -Help, help! 389 00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:55,062 I'm allergic to apples! 390 00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:58,147 -Elfo! Don't worry, I'll get you-- -[Luci] Bean! Achtung! 391 00:21:58,233 --> 00:22:00,613 Oh. "Make yourself casserole." Now I get it. 392 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:04,413 [groans] Never send a princess to do a demon's job. 393 00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:07,699 [grunting] 394 00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:12,960 God, what did they marinate you in, man? It smells out of this world. 395 00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:23,008 [muffled grunting] 396 00:22:23,091 --> 00:22:24,591 I'll save you, sister. 397 00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:28,845 [breathing heavily] 398 00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:34,479 [groans] Stop it with the tongues. 399 00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:37,062 The blow pop! It's gonna-- 400 00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:41,357 [both giggling] 401 00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:51,287 [both giggling] 402 00:22:53,163 --> 00:22:55,753 [Bean grunts] Caramel strips? 403 00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:57,713 [Hansel and Gretel giggling] 404 00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:04,263 [screaming] 405 00:23:09,554 --> 00:23:10,564 [yells] 406 00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,346 [grunting] 407 00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:25,323 [giggling echoes] 408 00:23:26,822 --> 00:23:28,492 [Hansel] This is like ham, 409 00:23:29,157 --> 00:23:30,947 but it's not ham. 410 00:23:32,452 --> 00:23:34,002 [giggling echoes] 411 00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:35,659 Okay, guys? Okay. 412 00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:40,628 All right, the creepy laughter has to stop before we can have a real conversation. 413 00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:42,843 Guys, give yourselves up. 414 00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:45,221 Everyone will understand why you went crazy 415 00:23:45,298 --> 00:23:47,428 after the witch imprisoned you for so many years. 416 00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:49,929 [Gretel] Oh, we were crazy long before we met the witch. 417 00:23:50,011 --> 00:23:51,811 [Hansel] We ate our parents. 418 00:23:51,888 --> 00:23:53,718 And then the witch kidnapped you? 419 00:23:53,807 --> 00:23:57,517 [Hansel] Nein, she adopted us und gave us candy, but not enough. 420 00:23:57,602 --> 00:24:00,362 So we tied her to the sink and started eating people. 421 00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:01,899 Bean! Behind you. 422 00:24:03,024 --> 00:24:06,534 -Bean, kill him. Do not wuss out. -I don't think I can. 423 00:24:08,196 --> 00:24:13,406 Gretel, no! We were supposed to grow old together and eat a family. 424 00:24:15,537 --> 00:24:16,957 [Luci growling] 425 00:24:20,625 --> 00:24:22,625 [cackling] 426 00:24:23,420 --> 00:24:28,300 Hey! Whoa. Hey! Whoa. Words! The curse is lifted. 427 00:24:28,383 --> 00:24:29,843 [laughing] 428 00:24:29,926 --> 00:24:31,336 There's my real laugh. 429 00:24:31,970 --> 00:24:34,720 Bean, look at me. Don't look at me, look at the corpses. 430 00:24:34,806 --> 00:24:39,516 You did it. You finally killed someone, intentionally. I am so proud of you. 431 00:24:39,603 --> 00:24:41,153 It was self-defense. 432 00:24:41,229 --> 00:24:45,319 Don't be modest. You killed these mentally ill siblings fair and square. 433 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:49,200 And I got roasted alive. I guess we all did our part. 434 00:24:57,787 --> 00:24:59,957 [Bean] As rewarding as it is to kill people, 435 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:04,000 nothing feels better than sparing the life of one innocent person. 436 00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:14,295 You saved my life and rid me of that awful curse. 437 00:25:14,387 --> 00:25:16,387 It's been a horrible ordeal. 438 00:25:16,473 --> 00:25:20,813 But my one solace is knowing I can return to my beautiful candy home. 439 00:25:20,894 --> 00:25:26,984 And spend my remaining years tending to my twin sister who lives in the attic. 440 00:25:29,569 --> 00:25:33,529 Or, um, you could do something else. [chuckles] 441 00:25:33,615 --> 00:25:36,195 Traveling is fun, too. Right? 442 00:25:36,284 --> 00:25:39,334 -Bye-bye, now. It was Elfo's fault. -[crowd gasps] 443 00:25:39,412 --> 00:25:42,752 [herald] And now, the main event! 444 00:25:42,832 --> 00:25:46,132 Princess Tiabeanie, step forward. 445 00:25:46,211 --> 00:25:50,591 For outstanding bravery, foresight and wisdom, 446 00:25:50,674 --> 00:25:55,354 I hereby award myself this medal for the extraordinary parenting 447 00:25:55,428 --> 00:25:58,638 that turned you from a worthless, bucktoothed degenerate 448 00:25:59,224 --> 00:26:03,024 to a ruthless executioner with a beautiful smile. 449 00:26:03,103 --> 00:26:05,733 -I'm proud of you, Beanie. -Really? 450 00:26:05,814 --> 00:26:07,404 Not that you care what I think. 451 00:26:07,482 --> 00:26:10,782 Yeah, I'm kinda cool that way. Thanks, Pops. 452 00:26:10,860 --> 00:26:12,240 Mention my buckteeth again 453 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,910 and I'll use them to bite out your spinal cord. 454 00:26:14,990 --> 00:26:16,700 [Zog] That's my girl.