1
00:00:06,011 --> 00:00:08,972
[opening theme music playing]

2
00:00:24,404 --> 00:00:27,907
-Okay. Dreamland is straight that way.
-[honking]

3
00:00:28,450 --> 00:00:29,784
Whoa!

4
00:00:32,412 --> 00:00:35,707
-[sighs] This goose gun is worthless.
-[honks]

5
00:00:35,790 --> 00:00:38,168
Stop honking, Dad.
You're confusing things.

6
00:00:41,337 --> 00:00:42,672
[goose honks]

7
00:00:42,756 --> 00:00:45,842
Nice shootin', Beanie.
But you missed all the gooses.

8
00:00:45,925 --> 00:00:48,011
Yeah, but I better not miss Dagmar.

9
00:00:48,094 --> 00:00:49,637
Dad, do you think I'm ready?

10
00:00:49,721 --> 00:00:52,348
Aw, Sweetie,
it's always an awkward situation

11
00:00:52,432 --> 00:00:54,184
when your daughter
wants to kill her mother.

12
00:00:54,267 --> 00:00:58,938
On the other hand, Dagmar's my ex-wife.
So that evens things out. Huh.

13
00:00:59,022 --> 00:01:01,483
What you really gotta worry about
is that things in Dreamland

14
00:01:01,566 --> 00:01:04,235
have a disturbing tendency
to come back to life.

15
00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:05,779
[sighs]

16
00:01:05,862 --> 00:01:09,741
All this grey nothingness spreading out
before us is mighty peaceful,

17
00:01:09,824 --> 00:01:10,658
ain't it, Bean?

18
00:01:10,742 --> 00:01:13,828
[sighs] The gentle swish
of the propeller blades

19
00:01:13,912 --> 00:01:17,248
just inches above our heads
is so relaxing.

20
00:01:17,332 --> 00:01:22,504
But everything is A-okay right now.
And we're getting close to home. [yawns]

21
00:01:22,587 --> 00:01:24,506
D'you mind if I get a little shut-eye?

22
00:01:26,591 --> 00:01:27,509
[snores]

23
00:01:27,592 --> 00:01:29,385
-[Bean screams]
-[Zøg] Climb!

24
00:01:29,469 --> 00:01:31,805
Now, dive! Now, fly through that hole!

25
00:01:31,888 --> 00:01:32,764
[Bean] Got it.

26
00:01:37,268 --> 00:01:40,438
Did you see that?
That mountain lunged at us out of nowhere.

27
00:01:40,522 --> 00:01:42,106
-[grunts frustratedly]
-[groans]

28
00:01:42,190 --> 00:01:46,236
From now on, let's stick to mules.
They don't crash so much.

29
00:01:51,366 --> 00:01:54,244
I swear, this is the same fog
we passed before.

30
00:01:54,327 --> 00:01:55,537
Do you know where we're going?

31
00:01:55,620 --> 00:01:57,580
Yeah, we're headin'
for that fog over there.

32
00:01:57,664 --> 00:01:59,165
Hell no! I don't know.

33
00:01:59,749 --> 00:02:02,252
[ominous music playing]

34
00:02:09,634 --> 00:02:13,471
[Zøg] Ah, man, we gotta turn around.
I left my peanuts back at the crash site.

35
00:02:13,555 --> 00:02:14,430
[Bean] I ate 'em.

36
00:02:15,473 --> 00:02:16,891
How'd this door get here?

37
00:02:16,975 --> 00:02:20,103
What I wanna know
is whether we're inside or outside.

38
00:02:20,186 --> 00:02:21,855
Well, only one way to find out.

39
00:02:23,690 --> 00:02:26,943
Hey, hey let us in. Or maybe out.

40
00:02:28,778 --> 00:02:30,947
[door unlocking]

41
00:02:31,030 --> 00:02:31,948
[door opens]

42
00:02:32,031 --> 00:02:34,701
Oh, it's you, Zøg. Come in.

43
00:02:34,784 --> 00:02:37,370
Oh, no, Chazz. [honks]

44
00:02:37,453 --> 00:02:40,498
What is this place?
Reminds me of art school.

45
00:02:40,582 --> 00:02:41,708
Grab 'em!

46
00:02:47,463 --> 00:02:48,715
[creepy music playing]

47
00:02:49,215 --> 00:02:51,259
[whispers] Bean, use your superpowers.

48
00:02:51,968 --> 00:02:52,844
[zapping]

49
00:02:52,927 --> 00:02:54,345
Hey. What tickles?

50
00:02:54,429 --> 00:02:56,014
Why isn't my lightning working?

51
00:02:56,097 --> 00:03:01,144
Uh, maybe your electro gland is backed up.
I still got sand in every orifice.

52
00:03:01,227 --> 00:03:03,354
-That must be uncomfortable.
-What?

53
00:03:03,438 --> 00:03:05,899
It gets kinda chilly at night,
but don't worry.

54
00:03:05,982 --> 00:03:09,027
I got a blanket to keep you warm.
[creepily laughs]

55
00:03:09,110 --> 00:03:12,447
Hey, if you think tonight's bad,
just think of the rest of your life.

56
00:03:12,530 --> 00:03:13,364
[grunts]

57
00:03:13,448 --> 00:03:15,199
-[man giggles]
-[gasps]

58
00:03:15,283 --> 00:03:16,117
Giggles!

59
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:20,413
Hello there, King-a-ling.
Oh, what's the matter? You scared?

60
00:03:20,496 --> 00:03:22,206
No, I ain't scared.

61
00:03:22,290 --> 00:03:24,876
Then why're you acting like an hourglass?

62
00:03:30,715 --> 00:03:31,633
[groans]

63
00:03:42,602 --> 00:03:43,978
Hey, Zøg. I hope you enjoy

64
00:03:44,062 --> 00:03:46,272
our Junior Executive Suite
for repeat customers,

65
00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:50,193
with free live jazz echoing
through the hallways all night long.

66
00:03:50,276 --> 00:03:52,403
[scatting]

67
00:04:04,916 --> 00:04:06,751
-Jazz.
-[Zøg honks]

68
00:04:06,834 --> 00:04:07,669
Don't worry, Dad.

69
00:04:07,752 --> 00:04:09,712
Okay, I'm gonna get us
the honk out of here.

70
00:04:09,796 --> 00:04:10,964
[weak crackling]

71
00:04:11,047 --> 00:04:13,132
In the meantime, just breathe. All right?

72
00:04:13,216 --> 00:04:16,177
It's just… It's like yelling
with the volume turned all the way down.

73
00:04:16,261 --> 00:04:18,471
[panting]

74
00:04:18,972 --> 00:04:19,806
[sighs]

75
00:04:19,889 --> 00:04:22,016
Breathe easy, Dad. It's just you and me.

76
00:04:23,017 --> 00:04:23,893
Hello, Bean.

77
00:04:23,977 --> 00:04:24,894
[both] Big Jo!

78
00:04:24,978 --> 00:04:28,773
It's nice to see such a loving
father-daughter relationship.

79
00:04:28,856 --> 00:04:30,900
Something I never had with Porky.

80
00:04:30,984 --> 00:04:33,403
-What are you doing here?
-Just a standard kidnapping,

81
00:04:33,486 --> 00:04:35,947
carried out by Chazz, my former intern.

82
00:04:36,030 --> 00:04:36,864
You know how it is.

83
00:04:36,948 --> 00:04:39,742
Well, that's what you get
for being, you know, you.

84
00:04:39,826 --> 00:04:42,370
You're right, Bean. I was a pretty bad me.

85
00:04:42,453 --> 00:04:46,124
But ever since
attending group therapy 14 times a day,

86
00:04:46,207 --> 00:04:49,043
I have come to the realization
that I was lashing out

87
00:04:49,127 --> 00:04:51,546
because of all those years
of childhood bullying.

88
00:04:51,629 --> 00:04:53,881
-You were bullied?
-No, I was the bully.

89
00:04:53,965 --> 00:04:57,385
I specialized in tormenting
the weak and the small.

90
00:04:57,468 --> 00:05:01,806
Slapping, pinching, towel snapping,
hocking loogies, ear flicking,

91
00:05:01,889 --> 00:05:04,934
puddle splashing,
throwing dirt clods, giving swirlies,

92
00:05:05,018 --> 00:05:09,272
putting excessive amounts of hot sauce
on someone's French fries, and the like.

93
00:05:09,355 --> 00:05:11,024
It was a heavy responsibility.

94
00:05:11,107 --> 00:05:12,275
That's horrible.

95
00:05:12,358 --> 00:05:13,901
But that's all in the past.

96
00:05:13,985 --> 00:05:17,030
I am truly sorry for hurting you
and your little friends.

97
00:05:17,113 --> 00:05:20,033
While I enjoyed it immensely,
it was wrong.

98
00:05:20,116 --> 00:05:21,701
Do you accept my apology?

99
00:05:21,784 --> 00:05:25,663
Aw! Yeah,
I can never stay mad at you, Big Jo.

100
00:05:25,747 --> 00:05:27,415
-[slaps]
-[Zøg] Ew, clammy.

101
00:05:30,335 --> 00:05:31,336
[static frizzling]

102
00:05:31,419 --> 00:05:32,587
Black magic.

103
00:05:32,670 --> 00:05:36,883
Why, Tiabeanie, you sly dog.
You've been holding out on me.

104
00:05:36,966 --> 00:05:37,925
Hmm.

105
00:05:42,555 --> 00:05:47,310
Dagmar, I must say, your caresses
last night were unusually gentle.

106
00:05:47,393 --> 00:05:49,062
Guess again, Buttercup.

107
00:05:49,145 --> 00:05:51,939
Like, uh, guilty as charged.
[creepily chuckles]

108
00:05:52,023 --> 00:05:55,860
Well, I had a wonderful sleep,
despite your nocturnal hijinks.

109
00:05:57,528 --> 00:06:00,156
Rise and shine. I brought breakfast.

110
00:06:00,239 --> 00:06:01,491
Like, uh, yum.

111
00:06:01,574 --> 00:06:03,576
Just for Mom, not the butt-kiss brigade.

112
00:06:03,659 --> 00:06:07,914
Well, if you're gonna be, like, uh,
hurtful, let's, uh, vamoose out of here.

113
00:06:07,997 --> 00:06:09,582
Follow me, boys.

114
00:06:09,665 --> 00:06:10,583
[scatting]

115
00:06:16,714 --> 00:06:18,132
Ugh!

116
00:06:18,216 --> 00:06:21,177
Wait a minute. Did you poison
these scrambled eggs?

117
00:06:21,260 --> 00:06:22,595
[laughs] That's adorable.

118
00:06:22,678 --> 00:06:27,850
[scoffs] I don't wanna poison you.
I wanna be your obedient, evil daughter

119
00:06:27,934 --> 00:06:31,062
and take over the world with you.
I hope you like your oatmeal.

120
00:06:31,145 --> 00:06:32,563
Bring in the Royal Taster.

121
00:06:32,647 --> 00:06:35,358
The Royal Taster died
earlier this morning.

122
00:06:35,441 --> 00:06:37,902
His last words were, "It's safe."

123
00:06:37,985 --> 00:06:38,820
Eat.

124
00:06:42,073 --> 00:06:43,449
[gags]

125
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,284
All the way, Turbish.

126
00:06:45,368 --> 00:06:46,911
[swallows]

127
00:06:47,453 --> 00:06:50,456
It's safe. But your oatmeal
is way overcooked, Bad Bean.

128
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:52,917
Wait, you weren't trying to poison me?

129
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,086
Guh! Mom, no.

130
00:06:55,169 --> 00:06:57,463
What kind of evil daughter are you?

131
00:06:57,547 --> 00:07:01,050
Next time you bring me breakfast,
see that you do and don't.

132
00:07:01,134 --> 00:07:03,344
-Uh, okay.
-[door opens]

133
00:07:03,427 --> 00:07:05,263
Good morning, Your Highnesseses.

134
00:07:05,346 --> 00:07:07,974
Did you just Highness us together?
Never do that.

135
00:07:08,057 --> 00:07:10,143
I am the goddamn First Queen,

136
00:07:10,226 --> 00:07:14,438
and Bad Bean only becomes my Sub-Queen
once she's coronated,

137
00:07:14,522 --> 00:07:17,275
which is something I wanted
to talk to you about, dear.

138
00:07:17,358 --> 00:07:19,485
You see, once you put on this crown,

139
00:07:19,569 --> 00:07:22,697
some very special things
will happen for Mummy.

140
00:07:22,780 --> 00:07:23,823
I don't know.

141
00:07:23,906 --> 00:07:26,909
When it's screwed all the way on my head,
won't it, like, hurt a bunch?

142
00:07:26,993 --> 00:07:28,244
It may tickle a bit initially,

143
00:07:28,327 --> 00:07:31,664
but once the screws do the work,
you'll hardly remember the pain.

144
00:07:31,747 --> 00:07:35,168
All you'll be thinking about
is how we're ruling together

145
00:07:35,251 --> 00:07:37,712
over the most powerful force on Earth.

146
00:07:37,795 --> 00:07:39,630
We'll be ruling together?

147
00:07:39,714 --> 00:07:42,049
Yes, darling. Well, 60-40-ish.

148
00:07:42,133 --> 00:07:43,718
Can we subjugate people?

149
00:07:43,801 --> 00:07:46,679
We can subjugate
whomever we want, sweetie,

150
00:07:46,762 --> 00:07:48,931
but Mummy can't do it without your help.

151
00:07:49,015 --> 00:07:53,102
Only you can wear the crown of pain.
I mean, crown of power.

152
00:07:53,186 --> 00:07:56,564
Only you can unleash the magic.

153
00:07:57,356 --> 00:08:01,402
Wow, I almost forgot how ugly
this crown is on me. Thank you.

154
00:08:01,486 --> 00:08:03,738
And it really distracts
from your neck scar.

155
00:08:03,821 --> 00:08:05,281
Now, let's get you dressed.

156
00:08:05,364 --> 00:08:07,533
-I'm dressed.
-No, you're not.

157
00:08:08,034 --> 00:08:10,495
[man yelling] 7:00 a.m.
trampoline wake-up.

158
00:08:10,578 --> 00:08:15,041
Anyone caught not jumping high enough
will be sprayed with the hot coffee hose.

159
00:08:18,085 --> 00:08:22,673
Hello, everybody. I'm Dr. Mulberry,
substituting for Dr. Fulton,

160
00:08:22,757 --> 00:08:25,885
who was beaten to death last night
with a fireplace poker.

161
00:08:25,968 --> 00:08:28,513
Before we begin
this morning's group therapy session,

162
00:08:28,596 --> 00:08:30,389
would anyone like to share?

163
00:08:30,473 --> 00:08:32,975
Perhaps our newbie. Garbanzo, is it?

164
00:08:33,059 --> 00:08:34,477
-Bean.
-Correct.

165
00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:37,146
[hums]

166
00:08:37,230 --> 00:08:38,940
[strains] Let me out of here.

167
00:08:39,023 --> 00:08:41,359
I don't even like sharing
my feelings with people I know.

168
00:08:41,442 --> 00:08:42,652
Hmm.

169
00:08:42,735 --> 00:08:45,863
Don't struggle, Beanie.
I tunneled my way outta here before.

170
00:08:45,947 --> 00:08:49,492
All we need is
years of patience and the right tools.

171
00:08:49,575 --> 00:08:52,119
You mean my grandma's diggin' skull?

172
00:08:52,203 --> 00:08:53,371
[chimes]

173
00:08:53,454 --> 00:08:57,041
Tinkle in the wind, Grandma. Tinkle away.

174
00:08:57,124 --> 00:09:01,796
Note to self, how many grandmas
does Giggles have?

175
00:09:01,879 --> 00:09:03,839
Now, Bean, tell me more.

176
00:09:03,923 --> 00:09:06,217
I'm not like the other maniacs.

177
00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:09,762
I need to get out of here so I can go
to Dreamland to kill my mother.

178
00:09:09,845 --> 00:09:12,139
I remember when I killed my mother.

179
00:09:12,223 --> 00:09:14,767
I sliced her face off
with an apple peeler,

180
00:09:14,850 --> 00:09:18,604
then made it into a comical mask.
I'm wearing it now.

181
00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:21,899
I conked my mom on the old coconut
with an even older coconut.

182
00:09:21,983 --> 00:09:26,988
My grandma was like a mother to me.
That's why I saved her for last.

183
00:09:27,071 --> 00:09:30,324
Wait a minute.
How many of you killed your mothers?

184
00:09:33,828 --> 00:09:34,662
You too?

185
00:09:34,745 --> 00:09:37,748
Oh, you don't get to where I am now
without killing a mother or two.

186
00:09:37,832 --> 00:09:41,419
Wow, I've been trying and failing
to kill my mom for so long.

187
00:09:41,502 --> 00:09:43,671
I'm not even sure now
with my magic powers--

188
00:09:43,754 --> 00:09:46,799
Magic powers? Ooh, which ones you got?

189
00:09:46,882 --> 00:09:48,134
I got super nosiness.

190
00:09:48,217 --> 00:09:50,011
Well, for some reason, right now,

191
00:09:50,094 --> 00:09:53,389
I… I can't show you my powers
because they're not working,

192
00:09:53,472 --> 00:09:56,309
but it is really cool when it happens.

193
00:09:56,392 --> 00:09:58,936
Uh, I… I can make lightning bolts
shoot out of my hands.

194
00:09:59,020 --> 00:10:01,230
It's like… [imitates zapping sounds]

195
00:10:01,314 --> 00:10:04,442
And then they shoot,
and it's pretty. It's pretty powerful.

196
00:10:04,525 --> 00:10:05,901
I'm basically a god.

197
00:10:05,985 --> 00:10:09,655
You'll have to excuse her.
She's a little cuckoo. You know.

198
00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:12,825
Bean, go on.
But only if it's entertaining.

199
00:10:12,908 --> 00:10:15,703
It doesn't matter, 'cause,
I mean, even with my powers,

200
00:10:15,786 --> 00:10:17,788
I still don't know if I can kill Dagmar.

201
00:10:17,872 --> 00:10:20,249
Every time I try,
she keeps coming back to life.

202
00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:24,128
Bean, has it ever occurred to you
that you haven't been successful

203
00:10:24,211 --> 00:10:27,173
in murdering your mother
because something is holding you back?

204
00:10:27,256 --> 00:10:29,300
An early childhood trauma, perhaps?

205
00:10:29,383 --> 00:10:32,678
Or something deep in your heart,
like a baby vampire.

206
00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:33,596
[Bean] What?

207
00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:37,099
Find what's holding you back,
and you will be able to kill.

208
00:10:37,183 --> 00:10:38,351
You really think so?

209
00:10:38,434 --> 00:10:39,769
I know so.

210
00:10:39,852 --> 00:10:43,898
Trust me, I've released
many, many nutjobs back into society.

211
00:10:43,981 --> 00:10:45,608
Why, Chazz, for example.

212
00:10:45,691 --> 00:10:49,945
You got that flip-flop, Doc.
I released you back into society,

213
00:10:50,029 --> 00:10:54,450
and I saw what you did to Dr. Fulton.
You Chazzed him up real good--

214
00:10:54,533 --> 00:10:55,951
And our time is up.

215
00:10:56,035 --> 00:10:59,789
But good news, it's fishwich Friday
in the cafeteria today.

216
00:10:59,872 --> 00:11:00,706
[all] Yay!

217
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:03,542
Calm down.
The cafeteria closed five minutes ago.

218
00:11:03,626 --> 00:11:04,627
[all] Aw.

219
00:11:04,710 --> 00:11:07,380
But there's free play
in the courtyard till nap time.

220
00:11:07,463 --> 00:11:08,589
[all] Yay!

221
00:11:08,714 --> 00:11:09,632
[man] Nap time!

222
00:11:09,715 --> 00:11:11,258
[all exclaiming]

223
00:11:11,342 --> 00:11:12,176
Buh-bye!

224
00:11:15,179 --> 00:11:17,139
[Dagmar] Now, darling,
the most important part

225
00:11:17,223 --> 00:11:20,559
of being Evil Queen
is picking the perfect wardrobe.

226
00:11:20,643 --> 00:11:25,189
Your outfits must be seductive
and intimidating at the same time.

227
00:11:25,731 --> 00:11:28,734
Weaponize that cleavage, I say.
Check these out.

228
00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:31,654
[Bad Bean] Wow, Mom.
Those shoulder wingdings really say,

229
00:11:31,737 --> 00:11:33,364
"I'm your ultimate fantasy

230
00:11:33,447 --> 00:11:35,658
-and worst nightmare."
-Thank you, dear.

231
00:11:35,741 --> 00:11:40,121
My outfit says, "Clothes are stupid,
and if you criticize mine, I'll kill you."

232
00:11:42,998 --> 00:11:43,999
You like it?

233
00:11:45,793 --> 00:11:51,048
Well, you tried. And failed.
But at least you tried. And failed.

234
00:11:51,132 --> 00:11:53,843
Let's go. We've got a kingdom to terrify.

235
00:11:53,926 --> 00:11:55,052
[Bad Bean laughs wickedly]

236
00:11:56,804 --> 00:11:58,222
[thunder rumbling]

237
00:12:00,266 --> 00:12:03,894
That is why I always
lashed out at you the most, Porky.

238
00:12:03,978 --> 00:12:07,022
Because deep down,
I am scared of how much I need you.

239
00:12:07,106 --> 00:12:08,524
Will you ever forgive me?

240
00:12:09,942 --> 00:12:11,610
Oh, Porky.

241
00:12:12,194 --> 00:12:14,697
You know that's not the real Porky, right?

242
00:12:14,780 --> 00:12:17,741
Oh, I know.
Sock Porky is far more expressive.

243
00:12:17,825 --> 00:12:22,163
Yes, let's put Porky away now
and engage in some roleplay therapy.

244
00:12:22,246 --> 00:12:24,206
Isn't that exactly what I was just doing?

245
00:12:24,290 --> 00:12:27,668
Bean, we're going to have you
pretend to be Zøg's daughter.

246
00:12:28,752 --> 00:12:30,171
I am his daughter.

247
00:12:30,254 --> 00:12:31,922
Oh! She's pretty good.

248
00:12:32,006 --> 00:12:33,549
No, seriously. He's my dad.

249
00:12:33,632 --> 00:12:35,843
Yeah, I did it with her mom
and everything.

250
00:12:35,926 --> 00:12:38,387
Fascinating. Do go on. Explicitly.

251
00:12:38,471 --> 00:12:42,391
In a deep, sexy voice.
And make slurping noises, if you will.

252
00:12:42,475 --> 00:12:44,560
Oh, my God, don't slurp.

253
00:12:44,643 --> 00:12:48,230
Fine, Bean.
You killed the mood. Let's move on.

254
00:12:48,314 --> 00:12:52,818
Bean, you'll be you,
and Zøg, you will be Bean's mother.

255
00:12:52,902 --> 00:12:53,861
Sure.

256
00:12:53,944 --> 00:12:55,863
[fake British accent] Hello, darling.

257
00:12:55,946 --> 00:12:59,825
Yes, yes. Bean, do you have anything
you want to say to your mother?

258
00:13:00,409 --> 00:13:04,163
Um, yeah. Mom, I'm…
I'm probably gonna kill you soon.

259
00:13:04,246 --> 00:13:07,541
What? Kill me? Your gorgeous, sexy, leggy,

260
00:13:07,625 --> 00:13:11,879
but [in normal voice] unbearable witchy
she-devil, twisted excuse for a mother?

261
00:13:11,962 --> 00:13:13,881
[fake British accent] Why, darling?

262
00:13:14,673 --> 00:13:17,343
I want to kill you because…

263
00:13:17,885 --> 00:13:20,137
I wanna kill you because…

264
00:13:20,221 --> 00:13:24,183
because you've hurt
everybody I've ever cared about.

265
00:13:24,266 --> 00:13:25,601
You ruined my life.

266
00:13:25,684 --> 00:13:26,644
This is stupid.

267
00:13:26,727 --> 00:13:29,063
Probably, but keep going. Dig deeper.

268
00:13:29,146 --> 00:13:30,689
Okay. All right, okay.

269
00:13:30,773 --> 00:13:34,735
Um, you really are the worst mom ever.

270
00:13:34,818 --> 00:13:37,613
But… I mean, I guess
I didn't always wanna kill you.

271
00:13:37,696 --> 00:13:40,074
I… I used to love you,
especially when you were dead.

272
00:13:40,157 --> 00:13:43,619
That was a great time. But now, I just…

273
00:13:44,203 --> 00:13:46,038
But now what, Bean?

274
00:13:46,121 --> 00:13:49,708
But now, if you're the queen of Hell,
I… I can't just kill you,

275
00:13:49,792 --> 00:13:52,336
because you'd still be able
to get into my dreams.

276
00:13:52,419 --> 00:13:54,797
I have to destroy you.

277
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,216
Wonderful. A breakthrough. Keep going.

278
00:13:57,299 --> 00:14:00,886
That means no Heaven for you,
or no Hell for you.

279
00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:02,555
You just won't exist at all.

280
00:14:02,638 --> 00:14:04,431
And it makes me feel…

281
00:14:04,515 --> 00:14:08,310
It makes me feel… I don't know. [sighs]

282
00:14:08,394 --> 00:14:10,187
Killing your mother is one thing,

283
00:14:10,271 --> 00:14:15,234
but wiping her from existence,
that's gonna, like, totally mess me up.

284
00:14:15,317 --> 00:14:16,902
What if I can't come back from that?

285
00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:20,072
And what if I really
don't come back from it?

286
00:14:20,155 --> 00:14:25,911
I mean, by undoing my mother's
very existence, what if I cease to exist?

287
00:14:25,995 --> 00:14:27,329
[all] Whoa.

288
00:14:27,413 --> 00:14:28,581
That's heavy, man.

289
00:14:28,664 --> 00:14:31,834
Dude, I am not high enough for this.

290
00:14:31,917 --> 00:14:34,378
Beanie, that's not a sacrifice
you should make.

291
00:14:34,461 --> 00:14:37,756
Let's just move to Yum Yum Island
or somethin'. Start over.

292
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:41,385
Dad, what if it's the only way
to save Dreamland? Okay? It might be.

293
00:14:42,678 --> 00:14:44,471
Oof. Uncomfortable.

294
00:14:44,555 --> 00:14:46,307
Okay, that's enough good work for today.

295
00:14:46,390 --> 00:14:48,851
Oh, boy. Now my favorite part of group.

296
00:14:48,934 --> 00:14:52,271
Graham crackers and grape juice.
Then meditation time.

297
00:14:52,354 --> 00:14:53,606
[man] Meditation time!

298
00:14:53,689 --> 00:14:55,149
-[yelping]
-Grandma!

299
00:14:55,608 --> 00:14:56,942
Whoa!

300
00:14:57,026 --> 00:14:58,652
[munching]

301
00:14:59,361 --> 00:15:01,280
Blech. These are stale.

302
00:15:01,363 --> 00:15:02,656
[slurps]

303
00:15:02,740 --> 00:15:05,534
Ah. Mmm.

304
00:15:11,290 --> 00:15:12,416
[Sagatha] Dear diary,

305
00:15:12,499 --> 00:15:17,254
the mood is stupidly hopeful
as we make camp on the eve of war

306
00:15:17,338 --> 00:15:21,967
against Queen Dagmar
and her skimpy, slinky battle outfit.

307
00:15:22,051 --> 00:15:26,221
The days ahead are dark
and our alliances uneasy,

308
00:15:26,305 --> 00:15:28,182
but we are united in this humble camp,

309
00:15:28,265 --> 00:15:31,018
where everyone, be they elf, fairy, human,

310
00:15:31,101 --> 00:15:36,523
worm, troll, oaf, douchebag, or whatsit,
comes to terms with the brevity of life.

311
00:15:36,607 --> 00:15:40,736
Watch as they fortify themselves
with camaraderie, grab-ass,

312
00:15:40,819 --> 00:15:42,488
and chunky possum chowder.

313
00:15:42,571 --> 00:15:43,405
…drink up.

314
00:15:43,489 --> 00:15:46,825
[Sagatha] And that upside-down Trøg
over there? Why, that's Benji,

315
00:15:46,909 --> 00:15:49,870
and you don't wanna know
what he's up to his neck in.

316
00:15:49,954 --> 00:15:53,374
I'm not gonna lie to you.
Taking this castle isn't going to be easy.

317
00:15:53,457 --> 00:15:57,836
It's not going to be fun.
We will lose good people along the way.

318
00:15:58,796 --> 00:16:00,005
But…

319
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:04,385
Oh, no, yeah, that's it. We're screwed.
Sorry, my intonation was misleading.

320
00:16:04,468 --> 00:16:06,929
[whispers] Say something positive
to inspire 'em,

321
00:16:07,012 --> 00:16:09,098
like you did with me, ya dunce.

322
00:16:09,181 --> 00:16:12,893
Okay, fine.
We do have one important advantage.

323
00:16:12,977 --> 00:16:14,019
Nobody cares about us.

324
00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:16,146
Yeah, she ain't wrong
about that one, pipsqueaks.

325
00:16:16,230 --> 00:16:21,235
This right here is a suicide mission.
That I can guarantee. See you all in Hell.

326
00:16:21,318 --> 00:16:24,071
I will be the one with the pitchfork
jabbing your bum-bum.

327
00:16:24,154 --> 00:16:27,241
-Oh.
-The key to our attack is stealth.

328
00:16:27,324 --> 00:16:30,244
Weirdo, with your subterranean
Peeping Tom skills,

329
00:16:30,327 --> 00:16:31,912
you'll lead a squadron up

330
00:16:31,996 --> 00:16:35,541
through the sewer pipes
into the throne room from below. Here.

331
00:16:35,624 --> 00:16:36,583
[moans]

332
00:16:36,667 --> 00:16:41,171
Rulo, you'll lead Elf Force Five
to converge with Weirdo here.

333
00:16:41,255 --> 00:16:45,968
This is much better than my plan
to drown everyone in hot fudge.

334
00:16:46,051 --> 00:16:49,013
It was a stupid idea.
I just love hot fudge.

335
00:16:49,096 --> 00:16:50,097
Merkimer here.

336
00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:54,685
As a very loud and popular Dreamlander,
what derring-do do I do?

337
00:16:54,768 --> 00:16:57,312
Methinks public relations, perhaps?

338
00:16:57,396 --> 00:17:01,650
Can you track Dagmar and Bad Bean's
every move without getting overly aroused?

339
00:17:01,734 --> 00:17:03,152
I promise nothing.

340
00:17:03,235 --> 00:17:06,905
And the rest of you
will line up here for the sneak attack.

341
00:17:07,573 --> 00:17:12,077
Nice, you finally found a use
for one of those unsold Luci figurines.

342
00:17:12,161 --> 00:17:13,078
Excuse you.

343
00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:16,457
People only bought the Elfo one
because it turns into a mini bong.

344
00:17:16,540 --> 00:17:18,959
Well, at least I'm not
a little, rubber pig like Merkimer.

345
00:17:19,043 --> 00:17:21,086
If you squeeze me, I fart.

346
00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:22,588
You or the toy?

347
00:17:22,671 --> 00:17:24,757
Yes. Thank you for the set-up.

348
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:28,010
Boys, I know this is your schtick,
but shut the hell up.

349
00:17:28,093 --> 00:17:31,764
At the key moment, we'll separate Dagmar
and Bad Bean with a wedge.

350
00:17:31,847 --> 00:17:32,806
A wedge of cheese?

351
00:17:32,890 --> 00:17:37,394
No, Granny Meesekin. I keep telling you,
there is no cheese in this plan.

352
00:17:38,228 --> 00:17:40,481
There is only violence and victory.

353
00:17:40,564 --> 00:17:43,108
Ooh, violence. I like it.

354
00:17:44,401 --> 00:17:46,111
I don't know how to explain it, Dad,

355
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:49,156
but as soon as I said it,
I knew it was what I have to do.

356
00:17:49,239 --> 00:17:52,493
Erase Dagmar from existence? Oh, boy.

357
00:17:52,576 --> 00:17:53,952
And you know the crazy thing,

358
00:17:54,036 --> 00:17:56,538
I maybe won't even be around
to know if it worked.

359
00:17:56,622 --> 00:17:57,456
What if it doesn't?

360
00:17:57,539 --> 00:17:59,083
I mean, that would really piss me off.

361
00:17:59,166 --> 00:18:01,210
Provided me was even there, of course.

362
00:18:01,293 --> 00:18:03,170
I'm afraid she may be right, Zøg.

363
00:18:03,253 --> 00:18:07,466
Heroes sometimes must sacrifice themselves
so others may survive.

364
00:18:07,549 --> 00:18:11,678
And by your powers, Tiabeanie,
it's clear that you are the one prophesied

365
00:18:11,762 --> 00:18:16,141
in story, song, folktale, limerick,
and outhouse graffiti.

366
00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:18,769
Beanie, don't listen to Bad Jo over there.

367
00:18:18,852 --> 00:18:19,686
Big Jo.

368
00:18:19,770 --> 00:18:24,858
Big Bad Jo. You shouldn't have to choose
between existing and saving Dreamland.

369
00:18:24,942 --> 00:18:28,695
Baby girl, you gotta save yourself.
You're all I got.

370
00:18:28,779 --> 00:18:31,615
My only kid I can split a cigar with.

371
00:18:31,698 --> 00:18:33,784
The other two don't never inhale right.

372
00:18:33,867 --> 00:18:36,745
Tiabeanie, there will come a time
when you must choose

373
00:18:36,829 --> 00:18:40,332
who you would live for
and for whom you would die.

374
00:18:40,874 --> 00:18:42,459
-Mora.
-The mermaid?

375
00:18:42,543 --> 00:18:43,460
What do you think?

376
00:18:44,545 --> 00:18:45,629
It's 3:00 a.m.

377
00:18:45,712 --> 00:18:49,800
This is DJ Chazz
with smooth jazz to make you sleepy.

378
00:18:49,883 --> 00:18:51,218
[loud scatting]

379
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,515
Drum solo!

380
00:18:56,598 --> 00:18:57,891
[imitates drums]

381
00:19:01,103 --> 00:19:01,937
[exclaims]

382
00:19:02,437 --> 00:19:03,689
[scats weakly]

383
00:19:06,984 --> 00:19:10,988
I just wanna go home, take a bath,
kill my mom and get on with my life.

384
00:19:11,071 --> 00:19:12,322
Is that too much to ask?

385
00:19:12,406 --> 00:19:16,535
Huh, Bean. Looks like you've learned
to talk to yourself out loud.

386
00:19:16,618 --> 00:19:19,246
-Good, good. Care to share?
-Let me out of this chair.

387
00:19:19,329 --> 00:19:21,331
I'll share my fist with your face.
How about that?

388
00:19:21,415 --> 00:19:24,918
Now, are you sure that's the best use
of our time and my face?

389
00:19:25,002 --> 00:19:28,380
[sighs] You're just like my mother,
second-guessing me.

390
00:19:28,463 --> 00:19:31,633
Ooh! Sounds like you're onto something.

391
00:19:31,717 --> 00:19:33,635
My whole life, everywhere I go,

392
00:19:33,719 --> 00:19:36,221
it's been her voice
in my head, doubting me.

393
00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:37,389
I can't get away from her.

394
00:19:37,472 --> 00:19:39,141
Have you ever had an underwater sex dream

395
00:19:39,224 --> 00:19:41,935
with your own mom peeking at you
from behind some coral?

396
00:19:42,019 --> 00:19:43,270
Only all of them.

397
00:19:43,353 --> 00:19:48,275
That's it. Go with it. Get angry. Go nuts.
That's what I'm talking about.

398
00:19:48,358 --> 00:19:52,196
Dagmar always made me feel like
there was something wrong with me too.

399
00:19:52,279 --> 00:19:56,408
I didn't talk good or dress all royal-like
or sneer at Bunty right.

400
00:19:56,491 --> 00:19:59,953
But maybe there's
nothing wrong with me or any of us.

401
00:20:00,037 --> 00:20:02,122
I like where she's goin' with this.

402
00:20:02,206 --> 00:20:06,126
I never really believed it when people
called me a savior or called me special,

403
00:20:06,210 --> 00:20:09,379
because I thought all I was was a problem.

404
00:20:09,463 --> 00:20:13,675
But you know what?
I realized just now, in this chair,

405
00:20:13,759 --> 00:20:17,554
the game's been rigged all along, guys.

406
00:20:17,638 --> 00:20:21,099
How are any of us weirdos supposed
to succeed when people like my mother,

407
00:20:21,183 --> 00:20:24,645
people like you,
are always changing the rules?

408
00:20:24,728 --> 00:20:28,565
Turns out, I'm not the problem.
You're the problem.

409
00:20:28,649 --> 00:20:33,570
Interesting. So you're saying
it's authority figures like me,

410
00:20:33,654 --> 00:20:38,075
or parents or cops or gym teachers
or driving instructors or security guards

411
00:20:38,158 --> 00:20:42,871
or snooty maître d's, perhaps even
society itself that's the problem?

412
00:20:42,955 --> 00:20:47,501
And because we're scared
of what's inside us, what we see in you,

413
00:20:47,584 --> 00:20:53,382
we lock you up in hellholes like this
to keep you out of sight, out of mind.

414
00:20:53,465 --> 00:20:56,385
Because that's crazy.
It's a good thing you're in a loony bin.

415
00:20:56,468 --> 00:20:58,512
No, we are meant to be out there

416
00:20:58,595 --> 00:21:01,056
in that big world
living our lives in peace

417
00:21:01,139 --> 00:21:03,308
and killing the people who try to stop us.

418
00:21:03,392 --> 00:21:05,143
[indistinct chatter]

419
00:21:05,227 --> 00:21:07,396
-Turn up the gaslighting.
-What?

420
00:21:07,479 --> 00:21:11,233
Bean, this snake pit
is a place of acceptance.

421
00:21:11,316 --> 00:21:14,987
Please accept this when I tell you,
sit your ass back down.

422
00:21:15,070 --> 00:21:17,364
Do not tell me what to do with my ass.

423
00:21:17,447 --> 00:21:20,993
Don't you get it? You don't have power
over us anymore, Doc.

424
00:21:21,076 --> 00:21:24,997
Nope. We're free now. Yep.
We know who we really are.

425
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:26,915
Yeah. Who are we?

426
00:21:26,999 --> 00:21:31,420
Chazz, Giggles, Bean's flipped her wig.
It's shock therapy party time.

427
00:21:31,837 --> 00:21:35,507
-[Bean] No. No, stop. Ow! Stop it.
-Calm down, Bean. We're just grabbing you.

428
00:21:37,968 --> 00:21:39,636
Let me go, you creeps.

429
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:41,722
Give her the juice, Nurse Giggles.

430
00:21:41,805 --> 00:21:43,223
[powering on]

431
00:21:43,307 --> 00:21:44,474
[electricity crackling]

432
00:21:46,727 --> 00:21:47,686
[straining]

433
00:21:47,769 --> 00:21:49,521
Oh, come on. More than that.

434
00:21:51,106 --> 00:21:52,107
[Bean straining]

435
00:21:53,442 --> 00:21:54,943
Bean, are you okay?

436
00:21:55,027 --> 00:21:57,112
-No, I'm very irritated.
-[crackling]

437
00:21:57,195 --> 00:22:00,240
Hey, they're charging you up.
Make with the zippity-zap.

438
00:22:01,533 --> 00:22:02,993
-[zapping]
-[Bean grunting]

439
00:22:13,962 --> 00:22:15,213
[men grunting]

440
00:22:15,297 --> 00:22:17,507
[crackling intensifies]

441
00:22:18,300 --> 00:22:19,176
[explodes]

442
00:22:19,259 --> 00:22:21,428
Go! Loonies, be free!

443
00:22:21,511 --> 00:22:25,057
Spread your mental illness
to the far corners of the globe.

444
00:22:25,140 --> 00:22:28,018
I'm gonna run for political office.

445
00:22:28,101 --> 00:22:30,103
Let the killing spree begin.

446
00:22:32,814 --> 00:22:34,274
[zapping]

447
00:22:34,357 --> 00:22:35,192
[slurps]

448
00:22:35,275 --> 00:22:36,234
[clattering]

449
00:22:36,860 --> 00:22:38,653
[Dr. Mulberry] Guards, save me!

450
00:22:39,237 --> 00:22:40,864
[zapping]

451
00:22:40,947 --> 00:22:41,865
[crackling]

452
00:22:43,158 --> 00:22:45,077
[grunting]

453
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:46,828
Dad, scram!

454
00:22:46,912 --> 00:22:48,997
[Dr. Mulberry] I don't deserve
some of this.

455
00:22:49,081 --> 00:22:50,665
-[intense zapping]
-Ow!

456
00:22:53,835 --> 00:22:54,753
[chewing]

457
00:22:59,299 --> 00:23:00,884
[honking]

458
00:23:03,804 --> 00:23:07,432
I'm so glad we are friends now.
Come, Sock Porky.

459
00:23:07,516 --> 00:23:08,725
[horn honking continues]

460
00:23:10,185 --> 00:23:11,103
[Zøg honks]

461
00:23:11,186 --> 00:23:16,191
[demon] Ladies and gentlemen,
guys and girls, goofballs and rubes,

462
00:23:16,274 --> 00:23:19,027
presenting for your
terror and trepidation,

463
00:23:19,111 --> 00:23:23,281
the dutiful daughter
of the beautiful Queen Dagmar.

464
00:23:23,365 --> 00:23:28,787
Get ready to grovel before
our princess of passion, empress of evil,

465
00:23:28,870 --> 00:23:35,001
the goddess with the bodice,
the unfairly disqualified Miss Teen Ohio,

466
00:23:35,085 --> 00:23:39,506
Tiabeanie Mariabeanie
De La Rochambeaux Drunkowitz.

467
00:23:39,589 --> 00:23:42,342
I'm talking about Bean!

468
00:23:42,425 --> 00:23:43,468
[cheering]

469
00:23:43,969 --> 00:23:45,011
[crowd] Bean!

470
00:23:45,095 --> 00:23:46,429
Hello, losers.

471
00:23:46,513 --> 00:23:48,765
Wait a darn second. That ain't our Bean.

472
00:23:48,849 --> 00:23:50,183
She's brushed her hair.

473
00:23:50,267 --> 00:23:52,769
And look at her neck scar.

474
00:23:52,853 --> 00:23:54,271
She's definitely had work done.

475
00:23:54,354 --> 00:23:57,232
-We don't accept you.
-Well, accept this. [grunts]

476
00:23:57,315 --> 00:23:59,609
[groaning]

477
00:23:59,693 --> 00:24:01,987
[crowd] We do accept you!

478
00:24:06,533 --> 00:24:09,244
Ah, would you hurry up here?
You've seen 'em.

479
00:24:09,327 --> 00:24:12,122
Dreamland citizens
ain't gonna save themselves.

480
00:24:15,125 --> 00:24:16,042
[Big Jo] Porky.

481
00:24:18,128 --> 00:24:21,464
Oh, Porky. I have prayed for months
that we would meet again.

482
00:24:21,548 --> 00:24:25,927
Ever since you were an abandoned baby
in the Enchanted Forest and I rescued you,

483
00:24:26,011 --> 00:24:29,723
and abandoned you myself a week later
in the exact spot I originally found you,

484
00:24:29,806 --> 00:24:33,310
and then came back out of guilt
three days later and you were still alive,

485
00:24:33,393 --> 00:24:35,687
and raised you myself
even though you never talked

486
00:24:35,770 --> 00:24:38,106
and only stared at me in grim reproach,

487
00:24:38,190 --> 00:24:42,652
you've dedicated your life to serving me
and the cause of demon liquidation.

488
00:24:42,736 --> 00:24:46,239
Well, I don't want you
to work for me anymore.

489
00:24:48,575 --> 00:24:49,492
[chuckles]

490
00:24:49,576 --> 00:24:54,748
No, I'm not firing you, Porky.
I want you to be my partner.

491
00:24:54,831 --> 00:24:58,043
Is… Is that a knife
you're holding behind your back?

492
00:24:58,126 --> 00:25:01,338
[sighs] Well, I can't say
I don't deserve it.

493
00:25:01,421 --> 00:25:04,883
Just make it a clean cut
across my throat, please.

494
00:25:07,135 --> 00:25:08,136
Oh.

495
00:25:08,220 --> 00:25:11,598
Porky, Porky, Porky.

496
00:25:11,681 --> 00:25:14,851
Aw! Even creeps got feelings.

497
00:25:14,935 --> 00:25:17,020
Now, pull us to Dreamland.

498
00:25:17,103 --> 00:25:21,524
And no stopping for bathroom breaks
or grilled sausages, partner.

499
00:25:33,411 --> 00:25:37,040
Lookie up ahead there.
You see that castle on the hill?

500
00:25:37,123 --> 00:25:38,500
We're almost home.

501
00:25:38,583 --> 00:25:43,088
And Dreamland sure looks
sweet and pure and beautiful from here.

502
00:25:43,171 --> 00:25:46,967
You see that twinkly red light up there?
That's your bedroom.

503
00:25:47,050 --> 00:25:49,344
What do you say, honey? Are you ready?

504
00:25:50,095 --> 00:25:51,263
I'm ready.

505
00:25:51,346 --> 00:25:54,266
[dramatic music playing]

506
00:25:54,349 --> 00:25:57,852
And then we're gonna capture Bean
and her wisecracking little friends

507
00:25:57,936 --> 00:26:00,105
and murder them in cold blood.

508
00:26:00,188 --> 00:26:03,441
Can I be the one who kills Bean,
Mommy, please?

509
00:26:03,525 --> 00:26:06,945
We'll kill her together, sweetheart.
As a family.

510
00:26:09,823 --> 00:26:11,408
[closing theme music playing]