1
00:00:06,011 --> 00:00:08,930
[opening theme music playing]

2
00:00:24,154 --> 00:00:26,489
[whimpering]

3
00:00:29,409 --> 00:00:31,161
Elfo, you're still whimpering.

4
00:00:31,244 --> 00:00:32,579
What if Dagmar's right?

5
00:00:32,662 --> 00:00:35,331
If I hadn't died,
she wouldn't be back on the throne,

6
00:00:35,415 --> 00:00:37,083
and we wouldn't be in this mess.

7
00:00:37,167 --> 00:00:40,879
Aw! Why'd I have to die? I'm so stupid.

8
00:00:40,962 --> 00:00:42,672
That really isn't your fault.

9
00:00:42,756 --> 00:00:45,550
Know how many people are crushed
by vending machines every year?

10
00:00:45,633 --> 00:00:49,471
I always thought destiny was baloney.
But what if it's not?

11
00:00:49,554 --> 00:00:53,141
What if it's my destiny
to be a screw-up, and we all die?

12
00:00:53,224 --> 00:00:55,518
I don't think
I could live with that guilt.

13
00:00:55,602 --> 00:00:56,895
But you'd be dead too.

14
00:00:56,978 --> 00:00:58,730
Meh. With me, you never know.

15
00:00:59,230 --> 00:01:01,149
[sentimental music playing]

16
00:01:02,442 --> 00:01:03,943
[Bean] I love you, Mora!

17
00:01:05,278 --> 00:01:08,323
Hey, topless. Can we get
this fish mobile going already?

18
00:01:08,406 --> 00:01:09,532
Don't worry, squirt.

19
00:01:09,616 --> 00:01:12,243
Bean teached me everything,
how to drive this thing.

20
00:01:12,327 --> 00:01:13,369
[whoops]

21
00:01:13,953 --> 00:01:17,290
All right, grab the rope and pull, Dad.
Teamwork makes the dream work.

22
00:01:17,373 --> 00:01:20,794
Hey, you know what was a good teamwork?
You and that Mora there.

23
00:01:20,877 --> 00:01:24,214
I swear, you two are like
the lady army I never had.

24
00:01:24,297 --> 00:01:27,550
Yeah. I mean, it just sucks
every time we get together

25
00:01:27,634 --> 00:01:29,928
some jerk comes along and yoinks us apart.

26
00:01:30,011 --> 00:01:34,390
Jealous mermaids, a freak show owner.
Mora does it. Fate.

27
00:01:34,474 --> 00:01:38,228
Yeah. I kinda got the same
on and off thing going with Ursula.

28
00:01:38,311 --> 00:01:41,481
You know what?
Fate is the biggest jerk of all.

29
00:01:41,564 --> 00:01:43,983
You telling me.
So how do you deal with it?

30
00:01:44,067 --> 00:01:45,235
Who do you punch?

31
00:01:45,318 --> 00:01:50,073
Oh! The list goes on and on.
Servants, walls, statues,

32
00:01:50,156 --> 00:01:53,076
whoever's standing nearby
when I'm feeling that sadness.

33
00:01:53,159 --> 00:01:54,828
A lot of times it's Odval.

34
00:01:54,911 --> 00:01:56,412
But I tell you what, Beanie,

35
00:01:56,496 --> 00:02:00,416
I'd rather miss someone
than never to have had nobody at all.

36
00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:02,836
Don't worry, Zøg. I'll never leave you.

37
00:02:02,919 --> 00:02:05,755
-Ta-da!
-Freckles. He'll save the day.

38
00:02:05,839 --> 00:02:08,424
Freckles will not be saving any days…

39
00:02:08,508 --> 00:02:10,760
-Why? [groans]
-And that's final.

40
00:02:10,844 --> 00:02:13,429
The mentally stable people
in this gondola have spoken.

41
00:02:13,513 --> 00:02:18,101
Ooh! Gondola. Fancy words
from Princess Fancy Pants.

42
00:02:18,184 --> 00:02:19,561
[yelping]

43
00:02:19,644 --> 00:02:20,478
Come on, Beanie.

44
00:02:20,562 --> 00:02:23,439
A possessed little puppet pal
ain't gonna hurt nobody.

45
00:02:23,523 --> 00:02:24,858
I beg to differ. [chuckles]

46
00:02:24,941 --> 00:02:27,652
Yeah, it ain't my fault
I'm a little wooden bastard.

47
00:02:27,735 --> 00:02:29,362
I was carved that way.

48
00:02:29,445 --> 00:02:32,282
Don't let him sweet talk you, Dad.
This always happens.

49
00:02:32,365 --> 00:02:34,117
If fairy tales taught us anything,

50
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:37,203
it's that puppets
are the number one creepy creation.

51
00:02:37,287 --> 00:02:42,458
Nah, Bean, you got it all wrong.
It's that we all just wanna be real boys.

52
00:02:42,542 --> 00:02:46,504
With real hopes, and real feelings,
and real knives!

53
00:02:46,588 --> 00:02:48,298
[grunts]

54
00:02:48,381 --> 00:02:50,717
-Dad.
-I have no idea why he has a knife.

55
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,010
Where'd he go?

56
00:02:52,093 --> 00:02:54,178
[evil laughing]

57
00:02:58,182 --> 00:02:59,684
Yeah.

58
00:03:01,686 --> 00:03:03,187
-[wind whistling]
-[exhales]

59
00:03:04,439 --> 00:03:06,816
-[gasps]
-[Freckles laughing]

60
00:03:06,900 --> 00:03:07,859
[grunts]

61
00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:18,745
One step closer, the balloon gets it.

62
00:03:18,828 --> 00:03:20,121
Doink, doink.

63
00:03:20,204 --> 00:03:23,041
Stop it, you'll doink us
all to death, dummy!

64
00:03:23,124 --> 00:03:26,461
What do I care?
I'm already dead. I was born dead.

65
00:03:26,544 --> 00:03:29,130
This whole world holds nothing for me.

66
00:03:29,213 --> 00:03:33,468
I sat motionless in a ventriloquist's
shop window for years.

67
00:03:33,551 --> 00:03:38,306
Being mocked by passing kids and drunks.
And drunk passing kids.

68
00:03:38,389 --> 00:03:40,558
Oh. Yeah. That was 100% percent me.

69
00:03:40,642 --> 00:03:43,019
That was you? [groans]

70
00:03:43,102 --> 00:03:46,231
I never got no hugs, I never got no love.

71
00:03:46,314 --> 00:03:50,068
The only time I got attention
was when I was doing annoying little jigs

72
00:03:50,151 --> 00:03:52,320
and telling hurtful cornball jokes.

73
00:03:52,403 --> 00:03:56,574
But I ain't no joke!
I got a heart, and I got a soul,

74
00:03:56,658 --> 00:04:00,078
and I got strange, disturbing dreams.

75
00:04:00,161 --> 00:04:01,829
I'm alive!

76
00:04:01,913 --> 00:04:04,415
-I appreciate the vulnerability.
-Thank you.

77
00:04:04,499 --> 00:04:08,002
But didn't you just say
you were dead, like, five times?

78
00:04:08,086 --> 00:04:09,337
-Shut up!
-You shut up!

79
00:04:09,420 --> 00:04:12,173
-You shut up!
-You shut up!

80
00:04:12,257 --> 00:04:17,095
[yells] I got the knife.
Listen. Now I'm finally king.

81
00:04:17,178 --> 00:04:19,347
King on the top of the balloon.

82
00:04:19,430 --> 00:04:24,769
Well, I… I think, then, that this calls
for a little victory dance, right?

83
00:04:24,852 --> 00:04:25,853
Freckles? Dad?

84
00:04:25,937 --> 00:04:29,107
I do love dancing. [hums]

85
00:04:30,858 --> 00:04:33,027
[Bean singing indistinctly]

86
00:04:33,111 --> 00:04:36,030
-Dance, dummy, dance, dummy.
-Whoa!

87
00:04:36,114 --> 00:04:42,412
[groans] Nice try, Beanie, baby.
But for once, I'm in control here,

88
00:04:42,495 --> 00:04:45,540
and now, we're gonna
head back to Dreamland,

89
00:04:45,623 --> 00:04:48,084
so that I can be with Mom.

90
00:04:48,167 --> 00:04:49,627
-What?
-Mom.

91
00:04:49,711 --> 00:04:52,588
That's right. I'm your brother.

92
00:04:52,672 --> 00:04:55,091
-Are you gaslighting me?
-Yeah!

93
00:04:55,174 --> 00:04:57,885
Man, this is one screwy family tree.

94
00:04:57,969 --> 00:05:00,430
Speaking of, what'd Mom do?
Sleep with an oak?

95
00:05:00,513 --> 00:05:04,434
And Dagmar promised me the throne
when I was a little boy.

96
00:05:04,517 --> 00:05:06,227
And there's nothing you

97
00:05:06,311 --> 00:05:09,105
or that foolish father of ours
can do about it.

98
00:05:09,188 --> 00:05:10,773
You hear that, Zøg?

99
00:05:10,857 --> 00:05:12,692
Yeah, I hear you. Yank!

100
00:05:12,775 --> 00:05:14,777
[screaming]

101
00:05:17,905 --> 00:05:19,032
You'll be sorry!

102
00:05:19,115 --> 00:05:21,534
Have fun drowning, Freckles!

103
00:05:21,617 --> 00:05:23,703
Wood floats, you crumbum!

104
00:05:23,786 --> 00:05:25,997
[dramatic music playing]

105
00:05:33,087 --> 00:05:35,673
[singing indistinctly]

106
00:05:35,757 --> 00:05:37,675
What? I'm back where I started.

107
00:05:37,759 --> 00:05:40,928
All right, Bad Bean, if you were me,
where would you hide you?

108
00:05:41,012 --> 00:05:42,180
Nah, too obvious.

109
00:05:43,014 --> 00:05:43,848
Too subtle.

110
00:05:44,515 --> 00:05:46,059
Wait a minute, that's a great idea!

111
00:05:46,142 --> 00:05:49,103
Severed head, you're a genius. [kisses]

112
00:05:49,187 --> 00:05:50,104
Ew.

113
00:05:50,188 --> 00:05:52,106
[singing indistinctly]

114
00:05:52,190 --> 00:05:55,985
[Dagmar] Oh, yes! Oh, yes!

115
00:05:56,069 --> 00:05:58,571
Okay, that's enough. Mommy's satisfied.

116
00:05:58,654 --> 00:05:59,572
[groans]

117
00:05:59,655 --> 00:06:03,701
Okay, go on, go to your throne.
That's it. Go to your throne.

118
00:06:03,785 --> 00:06:06,871
Now, why can't all of Bean's
little friends be that cooperative?

119
00:06:06,954 --> 00:06:09,916
Unfortunately, they have brains, darling.

120
00:06:09,999 --> 00:06:11,918
You and Luci get on like old chums.

121
00:06:12,001 --> 00:06:13,961
Why don't you work
that pathetic relationship

122
00:06:14,045 --> 00:06:16,380
and get the location
of Bad Bean's head out of him?

123
00:06:16,464 --> 00:06:17,632
Might as well get something.

124
00:06:17,715 --> 00:06:21,594
But, Dag, dear, you know
severed heads give me the willies.

125
00:06:21,677 --> 00:06:24,055
Ever since that summer
they invented the guillotine.

126
00:06:24,138 --> 00:06:26,265
This is not a negotiation. Go.

127
00:06:26,349 --> 00:06:30,228
-[Bad Bean grunts]
-Yeah. Satan, old poop stack, like, scram.

128
00:06:30,311 --> 00:06:31,854
[Dagmar laughs wickedly]

129
00:06:31,938 --> 00:06:34,774
Listen to that evil, arousing laughter.

130
00:06:34,857 --> 00:06:38,444
If I never died, those creeps
would not be occupying the throne room.

131
00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:39,987
[Scruffles chuckling]

132
00:06:40,071 --> 00:06:41,906
Well, maybe still Scruffles.

133
00:06:41,989 --> 00:06:44,534
You gotta stop dwelling on the past, Elfo.

134
00:06:44,617 --> 00:06:47,161
How about you just learn
from your mistakes and move on?

135
00:06:47,245 --> 00:06:48,496
Nope, sorry. Uh-uh.

136
00:06:48,579 --> 00:06:51,457
Elfo does not learn from his mistakes.
Ever. He's a sucker.

137
00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:55,837
Luci is right, you know. I am a sucker.
I just wish I knew who shot me.

138
00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:58,214
Everyone who has ever met you
has a motive.

139
00:06:58,297 --> 00:07:00,967
Well, even if you knew,
it wouldn't change anything.

140
00:07:01,050 --> 00:07:02,385
You can't undo the past.

141
00:07:02,468 --> 00:07:06,848
You know my motto. "Undo it!"

142
00:07:06,931 --> 00:07:08,349
Ugh. If only.

143
00:07:08,432 --> 00:07:10,017
Follow me, schlimazel.

144
00:07:10,101 --> 00:07:12,979
I got an idea so crazy,
it just might work.

145
00:07:13,062 --> 00:07:15,064
Or kill you. I'm not picky.

146
00:07:15,148 --> 00:07:16,315
[grunts]

147
00:07:19,068 --> 00:07:21,237
Et voilà, mes petits boneheads.

148
00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:22,780
The crystal ball?

149
00:07:22,864 --> 00:07:24,282
Get ready to time travel, baby.

150
00:07:24,365 --> 00:07:26,284
Time travel?

151
00:07:26,367 --> 00:07:30,121
No, no, no, boys.
Not a good idea to mess with the past.

152
00:07:30,204 --> 00:07:32,707
All the books say
time travel is dangerous,

153
00:07:32,790 --> 00:07:35,626
especially the book by that guy
who hasn't been born yet.

154
00:07:35,710 --> 00:07:39,881
[scoffs] Please. I'm an elf.
Sucking on lollipops is dangerous,

155
00:07:39,964 --> 00:07:42,175
but I thought this thing
just shows the past.

156
00:07:42,258 --> 00:07:44,218
Can it actually take me back in time?

157
00:07:44,302 --> 00:07:45,553
-Someone's coming!
-[both gasps]

158
00:07:46,387 --> 00:07:50,391
Continuing our castle tour,
this is the crystal ball room.

159
00:07:50,475 --> 00:07:55,396
And that girl with the mop is Mop Girl.
She's cleaning up a puddle of Luci.

160
00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,565
And there's pregnant Elfo.

161
00:07:57,648 --> 00:08:01,903
I had a baby, but it wasn't a baby.
It was a burrito.

162
00:08:01,986 --> 00:08:03,237
Okay, bye.

163
00:08:06,282 --> 00:08:07,700
Uh… Where's Elfo?

164
00:08:07,783 --> 00:08:09,160
Oh, no. Look.

165
00:08:09,243 --> 00:08:10,328
[Elfo panting]

166
00:08:11,162 --> 00:08:13,456
How much you wanna bet
he destroys reality?

167
00:08:13,539 --> 00:08:15,166
Either way, I won't have to pay.

168
00:08:15,249 --> 00:08:16,417
[both grunts]

169
00:08:16,501 --> 00:08:19,420
[triumphant music playing]

170
00:08:22,882 --> 00:08:24,634
Elfo, what are you doing?

171
00:08:24,717 --> 00:08:27,803
Is that some kind of giant gum ball
you have there?

172
00:08:27,887 --> 00:08:29,388
Mightn't I have a lick?

173
00:08:29,472 --> 00:08:33,142
Shh. Please, Merkimer,
keep your voice down.

174
00:08:33,226 --> 00:08:36,562
So where are you headed?
Let me join you on your quest.

175
00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:38,981
It's a secret time traveling mission.

176
00:08:39,065 --> 00:08:42,318
If I pull this off, it will fix
everything that's gone wrong.

177
00:08:42,401 --> 00:08:44,570
You mean I could be human again?

178
00:08:44,654 --> 00:08:47,573
Oh, um, no.
Only stuff that happened after--

179
00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:49,325
Never mind. Not interested.

180
00:08:50,409 --> 00:08:51,702
[scoffs]

181
00:08:55,164 --> 00:08:56,749
[indistinct chatter]

182
00:08:56,832 --> 00:08:58,668
Freaks, please! Okay?

183
00:08:58,751 --> 00:09:02,338
The good news is, you are no longer
exploited victims of a cruel system.

184
00:09:02,421 --> 00:09:04,882
But you are also now
officially cargo. So, quiet.

185
00:09:07,802 --> 00:09:11,806
And now we dive. Next stop, Dreamland.

186
00:09:17,144 --> 00:09:19,063
-[Odval] Excuse me, Captain Mermaid?
-What?

187
00:09:19,146 --> 00:09:22,733
Uh, might it be a small problem
if the hatch is still open?

188
00:09:25,528 --> 00:09:26,737
What's a hatch?

189
00:09:26,821 --> 00:09:29,824
[Freaks screaming]

190
00:09:38,541 --> 00:09:40,626
Help! I'm too lazy to swim.

191
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:44,505
In an emergency,
I could be used as a flotation device.

192
00:09:44,589 --> 00:09:47,216
Yeah! Beach party on Derek Island tonight.

193
00:09:49,218 --> 00:09:50,803
[dramatic music playing]

194
00:09:55,725 --> 00:09:59,103
[sighs] There it isn't,
the invisible gates of Elfwood.

195
00:09:59,186 --> 00:10:00,813
Looks so peaceful and quiet now.

196
00:10:00,896 --> 00:10:04,317
Hard to believe this was the very spot
where I got brutally murdered.

197
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,486
Now to go back in time and fix everything.

198
00:10:08,112 --> 00:10:13,659
Oh, magic crystal time ball, take me back
to right before I was murdered.

199
00:10:14,994 --> 00:10:16,662
-[wind howls]
-[crackling]

200
00:10:33,721 --> 00:10:36,474
[gasps] It worked. There I am.

201
00:10:36,557 --> 00:10:41,395
I am the master of time and destiny.

202
00:10:48,277 --> 00:10:51,405
Elfo's out there
destroying the space-time continuum.

203
00:10:51,489 --> 00:10:54,158
Some guys have all the fun. [sighs]

204
00:10:56,577 --> 00:10:57,662
[gasps]

205
00:10:57,745 --> 00:11:02,083
Oh, how I long for the days
when a horrified shriek would thrill me.

206
00:11:02,166 --> 00:11:05,086
But I'm married now, so nothing does.

207
00:11:05,169 --> 00:11:08,297
In fact, the wife seems to
enjoy keeping me on edge.

208
00:11:08,381 --> 00:11:11,592
Is there a place around here
where I can hide from Dagmar

209
00:11:11,676 --> 00:11:13,928
and soothe my jangled nerves?

210
00:11:14,011 --> 00:11:15,471
There's the cafeteria, and--

211
00:11:15,554 --> 00:11:19,642
The old castle mental ward.
What a wonderful idea.

212
00:11:19,725 --> 00:11:20,935
Let's go there now.

213
00:11:28,484 --> 00:11:29,318
[clangs]

214
00:11:29,402 --> 00:11:34,907
Look, Luci, these prison bars
hold so much pain and anguish.

215
00:11:34,990 --> 00:11:38,994
Such a lovely sound,
like home away from home.

216
00:11:39,078 --> 00:11:40,079
[sighs]

217
00:11:40,162 --> 00:11:42,915
[clanging]

218
00:11:42,998 --> 00:11:47,169
It is strangely comforting.
Almost hypnotic. Uh-oh.

219
00:11:47,253 --> 00:11:51,507
Listen to the sound
of my voice, Luci, so smooth.

220
00:11:51,590 --> 00:11:53,592
Some have even said dulcet.

221
00:11:53,676 --> 00:11:57,930
You will follow the sound down, down, down

222
00:11:58,013 --> 00:12:01,600
into the innermost reaches of your mind.

223
00:12:01,684 --> 00:12:03,686
[Luci] You lost me at dulcet.

224
00:12:03,769 --> 00:12:05,604
JK, I'm back onboard.

225
00:12:05,688 --> 00:12:07,898
[dramatic music playing]

226
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,902
You are lost without my soothing words.

227
00:12:11,986 --> 00:12:15,739
When I tap again, you will follow my voice
wherever it commands,

228
00:12:15,823 --> 00:12:19,285
and you will reveal the location
of Bad Bean's head.

229
00:12:24,832 --> 00:12:26,459
[Satan] You are under my spell.

230
00:12:26,542 --> 00:12:28,127
Yes, master.

231
00:12:28,210 --> 00:12:30,045
You'll do anything I say.

232
00:12:30,129 --> 00:12:31,672
Yes, master.

233
00:12:31,755 --> 00:12:33,382
Excellent. Now--

234
00:12:33,466 --> 00:12:35,259
Yes, master.

235
00:12:35,926 --> 00:12:37,595
Yes, great. I want you--

236
00:12:37,678 --> 00:12:39,430
Yes, master.

237
00:12:39,513 --> 00:12:41,682
-Let me finish--
-Yes, master.

238
00:12:41,765 --> 00:12:44,685
Are you truly hypnotized
or are you just screwing with me?

239
00:12:44,768 --> 00:12:45,853
Yes, master.

240
00:12:45,936 --> 00:12:48,564
I command you to stop saying,
"Yes, master."

241
00:12:48,647 --> 00:12:50,357
[guard] Yes, master.

242
00:12:51,692 --> 00:12:53,652
-Get out!
-Me or Turbish, master?

243
00:12:53,736 --> 00:12:56,447
Both of you! No, I need you.
Stay seated. I command--

244
00:12:56,530 --> 00:12:57,656
Yes, master.

245
00:12:57,740 --> 00:12:59,909
Have you seen my baby burrito?

246
00:12:59,992 --> 00:13:01,076
Get out!

247
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:02,119
Okay, bye.

248
00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:08,501
We're all gonna die!

249
00:13:08,584 --> 00:13:10,169
Well, I won't. [chuckles]

250
00:13:10,252 --> 00:13:13,923
But I vow to stay with you all
until the last person drowns.

251
00:13:14,006 --> 00:13:15,508
[cackling]

252
00:13:15,591 --> 00:13:18,260
[woman screaming in distance]

253
00:13:18,344 --> 00:13:21,096
[female voice] Look!
It's hood ornament mommy.

254
00:13:21,180 --> 00:13:22,848
[triumphant music playing]

255
00:13:23,474 --> 00:13:25,518
Hurray, we're saved!

256
00:13:25,601 --> 00:13:28,270
There's not a first-class poop deck,
is there?

257
00:13:28,354 --> 00:13:32,775
Ugh! You know this is pirate boat,
not rescue boat.

258
00:13:32,858 --> 00:13:35,277
Can we at least rob them as we save them?

259
00:13:35,361 --> 00:13:37,780
Is wrong to do, so do.

260
00:13:37,863 --> 00:13:39,198
[man grunts]

261
00:13:39,281 --> 00:13:40,950
[laughing maniacally]

262
00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:44,620
[gasps] I'm about to die.

263
00:13:44,703 --> 00:13:48,165
By order of your father,
you will stand aside, Tiabeanie.

264
00:13:48,249 --> 00:13:50,209
Hey, nobody calls me "Tiabeanie",

265
00:13:50,292 --> 00:13:52,545
except my best friends
and my worst enemies.

266
00:13:52,628 --> 00:13:56,173
Now, to kill the killer
before he or she kills me.

267
00:13:56,257 --> 00:13:58,217
[suspenseful music playing]

268
00:14:03,722 --> 00:14:06,976
This is it. Oh, man, it could be anybody.

269
00:14:07,059 --> 00:14:11,063
Odval? He's hated me ever since
I named his third eyeball "Soul Stealer."

270
00:14:11,146 --> 00:14:13,482
Turbish? He is fiendishly clever.

271
00:14:13,566 --> 00:14:16,694
Is it Pendergast?
Nah, he's just standing there.

272
00:14:16,777 --> 00:14:18,195
We are a team.

273
00:14:18,279 --> 00:14:20,114
-I always thought so.
-Really?

274
00:14:20,197 --> 00:14:22,533
I gotta act fast. I'm about to get shot.

275
00:14:23,367 --> 00:14:26,579
[gasps] It was Pendergast.
He's picking up an arrow.

276
00:14:27,496 --> 00:14:28,497
[groans]

277
00:14:28,581 --> 00:14:32,835
No, Elfo! Elfo, speak to me. Elfo.

278
00:14:33,335 --> 00:14:34,169
Who did that?

279
00:14:34,253 --> 00:14:35,713
I did that.

280
00:14:38,215 --> 00:14:39,133
[gasps]

281
00:14:41,969 --> 00:14:44,471
"Had enough?" [scoffs] What do you think?

282
00:14:44,555 --> 00:14:45,556
Mm-hmm.

283
00:14:50,060 --> 00:14:54,398
[sighs] This is my worst screw-up yet.
Stupid bow and arrow.

284
00:14:55,232 --> 00:14:57,443
No one can ever know about any of this.

285
00:14:57,526 --> 00:15:01,405
I gotta take this shame to my grave.
Well, my next grave.

286
00:15:03,866 --> 00:15:06,952
[indistinct chatter]

287
00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:09,496
I will have you back home in no time.

288
00:15:09,580 --> 00:15:11,916
That's great. I can't tell time anyway.

289
00:15:11,999 --> 00:15:14,877
Oona, I hope it's not awkward,
me being here.

290
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:17,796
You know, 'cause you're Zøg's ex
and I'm Zøg's now.

291
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:21,133
And he and I make love
like, well, wild bears.

292
00:15:21,216 --> 00:15:23,969
It was not awkward until you brag.

293
00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:26,555
Uh, Zøg is more like friend to me now.

294
00:15:26,639 --> 00:15:28,432
And I have many of those.

295
00:15:28,515 --> 00:15:31,602
-There's one. Bonjour, Annabelle.
-[Annabelle grunts]

296
00:15:31,685 --> 00:15:34,146
Can I ask you a question about Zøg?

297
00:15:34,229 --> 00:15:36,774
If about Zøg farting in bed, no.

298
00:15:36,857 --> 00:15:38,275
No way to stop it.

299
00:15:38,359 --> 00:15:40,027
Why you think I sleep on ceiling?

300
00:15:40,110 --> 00:15:42,488
I don't know what will happen
when we get back.

301
00:15:42,571 --> 00:15:44,406
You'll figure it out.

302
00:15:44,490 --> 00:15:48,744
Zøggie may be a king,
but we both know he is wild at heart.

303
00:15:48,827 --> 00:15:49,662
[chuckles] Yeah.

304
00:15:50,537 --> 00:15:52,665
Can't get the crazy lug out of my head.

305
00:15:52,748 --> 00:15:56,502
You know what I do when I need
to get insanity out of my head?

306
00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:00,631
[screaming]

307
00:16:00,714 --> 00:16:02,508
You're right. I feel great.

308
00:16:04,218 --> 00:16:06,095
[both screaming]

309
00:16:21,986 --> 00:16:23,028
[gasps]

310
00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:25,364
So, how was your ill-advised time trip

311
00:16:25,447 --> 00:16:27,700
with the crystal ball
I warned you not to take?

312
00:16:27,783 --> 00:16:33,205
I didn't take anything anywhere.
My arms naturally bend backwards this way.

313
00:16:38,836 --> 00:16:40,045
[sighs]

314
00:16:40,963 --> 00:16:42,965
You can't run from the past, Elfo.

315
00:16:43,048 --> 00:16:44,091
Watch me.

316
00:16:49,388 --> 00:16:50,514
[chuckles and gasps]

317
00:16:50,597 --> 00:16:53,684
Hiding under a bridge
ain't gonna solve your problem.

318
00:16:53,767 --> 00:16:55,436
Unless you're part Troll, are ya?

319
00:16:55,519 --> 00:16:57,563
Trolls are sneaky and cunning.

320
00:16:57,646 --> 00:17:00,858
Does that sound like me?
I didn't think so.

321
00:17:06,113 --> 00:17:08,115
-[Mop Girl] I just wanna talk.
-[groans]

322
00:17:08,198 --> 00:17:09,616
Leave me alone, will you?

323
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:12,953
You're just gonna tell me,
"I told you so," and I feel bad enough.

324
00:17:13,037 --> 00:17:16,915
Hey. Friends don't make friends
feel worse, unless you're Luci.

325
00:17:16,999 --> 00:17:20,627
He thinks he's being so naughty,
but don't you wanna hug him like a baby?

326
00:17:21,211 --> 00:17:24,673
So, what happened to make you so upset?
Did you find out who shot you?

327
00:17:24,757 --> 00:17:27,760
[stutters] It was Pendergast.
But don't worry.

328
00:17:27,843 --> 00:17:31,638
I killed him first and fixed everything,
so we don't have to talk about it.

329
00:17:31,722 --> 00:17:35,184
Elfo, you can lie to me,
but don't lie to yourself.

330
00:17:35,267 --> 00:17:36,602
How do you know I'm lying?

331
00:17:36,685 --> 00:17:40,522
Because, duh, you and I
still exist in the same timeline.

332
00:17:40,606 --> 00:17:42,691
If you changed things, I would know.

333
00:17:42,775 --> 00:17:45,903
[sighs] Fine. But can we talk inside?

334
00:17:45,986 --> 00:17:49,364
I don't feel like being humiliated
in front of a bunch of gophers.

335
00:17:49,448 --> 00:17:51,033
We're chipmunks, you idiot.

336
00:17:51,116 --> 00:17:52,743
[laughing]

337
00:17:52,826 --> 00:17:54,078
Oh, shut up.

338
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,665
Good evening, Stanley, Touchy.

339
00:17:58,749 --> 00:18:03,587
I am merely showing my friend, Satan,
something I hid that I must now reveal.

340
00:18:03,670 --> 00:18:07,341
I am not hypnotized.
I just like talking this way.

341
00:18:07,424 --> 00:18:10,260
Go right ahead, gents.
Mi dungeon es su dungeon.

342
00:18:10,344 --> 00:18:12,346
[grunting]

343
00:18:12,429 --> 00:18:18,268
I'm sensing a million screaming souls
and the most wonderful aftershave.

344
00:18:18,352 --> 00:18:19,186
[chuckles]

345
00:18:19,269 --> 00:18:21,522
[chirping]

346
00:18:25,692 --> 00:18:29,154
Here, after you, my sweet Dark Lord.

347
00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:32,366
Inka binka, dinka, binka, boohoo.

348
00:18:32,950 --> 00:18:35,702
It's hundreds of severed heads.

349
00:18:36,745 --> 00:18:39,456
Well, I suppose
it is the perfect place to hide one.

350
00:18:39,540 --> 00:18:42,334
Thank you for the compliment,
Your hen-pecked Highness.

351
00:18:42,417 --> 00:18:43,877
This way, please.

352
00:18:45,838 --> 00:18:46,672
[Satan sighs]

353
00:18:46,755 --> 00:18:53,220
Up there, at the top of these rickety,
rotting shelves, Bad Bean's head.

354
00:18:53,303 --> 00:18:55,639
Well, aren't you
going to go fetch it for me?

355
00:18:55,722 --> 00:18:58,475
Too hypnotized to climb.

356
00:18:58,559 --> 00:18:59,560
[sighs]

357
00:19:00,435 --> 00:19:03,188
I hope Dagmar appreciates this. [grunts]

358
00:19:03,272 --> 00:19:06,108
The things I do for love
and not being yelled at.

359
00:19:07,776 --> 00:19:10,529
Mmm. Higher, master.

360
00:19:10,612 --> 00:19:12,698
-That's too high.
-[grunts]

361
00:19:12,781 --> 00:19:16,243
-Down. To the left.
-The left.

362
00:19:16,326 --> 00:19:17,411
I mean right.

363
00:19:17,494 --> 00:19:21,165
-[groans]
-Diagonal to the west. Almost there.

364
00:19:21,248 --> 00:19:23,125
-Uh-huh. Like this?
-Perfect.

365
00:19:23,208 --> 00:19:24,585
-[exclaims]
-[screaming]

366
00:19:28,380 --> 00:19:29,756
[grunting and groaning]

367
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:30,966
[sighs]

368
00:19:31,049 --> 00:19:33,510
Bad Bean's head was never here,
was it, Luci?

369
00:19:33,594 --> 00:19:36,555
[laughing] You chump!
I can't believe you thought

370
00:19:36,638 --> 00:19:39,057
you'd get away
with your tired, old hypnotism routine.

371
00:19:39,141 --> 00:19:42,019
Go back to Vaudeville, you loser.
Hunka-hunka.

372
00:19:42,102 --> 00:19:44,938
[scatting]

373
00:19:45,022 --> 00:19:47,316
[Luci laughing]

374
00:19:51,069 --> 00:19:54,114
And then my arrow missed,
and I hit myself.

375
00:19:54,198 --> 00:19:58,493
Ugh. I promised if I ever died,
I'd have this really big death,

376
00:19:58,577 --> 00:20:01,121
but instead, I just looked like a fool.

377
00:20:01,205 --> 00:20:03,749
No, you didn't.
When they brought you back,

378
00:20:03,832 --> 00:20:06,585
you looked like
a very peaceful little corpse.

379
00:20:06,668 --> 00:20:10,005
I thought you were so handsome
in your tiny glass coffin.

380
00:20:10,088 --> 00:20:13,300
All my life I've been
a screw-diddly-doo-up,

381
00:20:13,383 --> 00:20:16,136
and now I have proof. That's my destiny.

382
00:20:16,220 --> 00:20:18,555
Elfo, destiny isn't real.

383
00:20:18,639 --> 00:20:22,976
It's just a word humans made up
to explain anything beyond their control.

384
00:20:23,060 --> 00:20:25,979
We don't have to live that way.
We're not human.

385
00:20:26,563 --> 00:20:28,148
What do you mean, "We're not--"

386
00:20:28,232 --> 00:20:30,984
Just be in charge of your life right now.

387
00:20:31,068 --> 00:20:35,364
The past is done,
and the future, it has yet to be created.

388
00:20:35,447 --> 00:20:39,785
You can make it whatever you want.
Be whoever you want.

389
00:20:39,868 --> 00:20:40,994
Wow.

390
00:20:41,078 --> 00:20:44,206
Wait, then how come
you're nothing but a, you know…

391
00:20:44,289 --> 00:20:45,791
Member of the custodial staff?

392
00:20:45,874 --> 00:20:49,795
I'm biding my time,
studying, reading, scheming.

393
00:20:49,878 --> 00:20:53,423
I'm gonna be a wizard someday.
Maybe the next Sorcerio.

394
00:20:53,507 --> 00:20:56,843
Oh. [scoffs] Please. You have
way more talent in your little pinky

395
00:20:56,927 --> 00:20:59,638
than Sorcerio has
in his whole fleshy, sagging body.

396
00:20:59,721 --> 00:21:02,808
And, well, you've definitely
cast a spell on me, Mop Girl.

397
00:21:02,891 --> 00:21:07,271
Oh, thanks. And I like who you are. A lot.

398
00:21:07,354 --> 00:21:09,022
But I know you could be much better.

399
00:21:09,106 --> 00:21:11,525
You have it in you
to become a great fighter,

400
00:21:11,608 --> 00:21:15,070
or maybe even a leader
of, you know, wee folk.

401
00:21:15,153 --> 00:21:16,571
I believe in you, Elfo.

402
00:21:16,655 --> 00:21:22,494
Gee, thanks. You're right.
I can do anything I want. Starting now.

403
00:21:27,749 --> 00:21:28,625
[thuds]

404
00:21:28,709 --> 00:21:30,168
-Elfo, the ball.
-[gasps]

405
00:21:31,628 --> 00:21:37,301
Screw destiny and this stupid ball.
Here's to a totally blank future.

406
00:21:38,260 --> 00:21:39,511
[grunts]

407
00:21:41,763 --> 00:21:44,558
You could have used
the crystal ball to go back in time

408
00:21:44,641 --> 00:21:47,477
even earlier and stop yourself
from killing yourself.

409
00:21:47,561 --> 00:21:50,772
-What?
-I'm kidding. Maybe. Probably.

410
00:21:50,856 --> 00:21:53,108
Who knows? What the hell.
Does it matter now?

411
00:21:53,191 --> 00:21:54,526
[chuckles]

412
00:21:54,609 --> 00:22:00,073
You know what? I feel free.
Free to do anything, go anywhere.

413
00:22:00,157 --> 00:22:03,827
[Dagmar] I know a shattering crystal ball
when I hear one. Guards!

414
00:22:05,787 --> 00:22:08,206
[gasps] But we better hide here tonight.

415
00:22:08,290 --> 00:22:11,126
Honestly, a hayloft with you is a step up

416
00:22:11,209 --> 00:22:13,628
from the sack of turnips
I usually sleep on.

417
00:22:24,306 --> 00:22:26,058
[groans]

418
00:22:26,141 --> 00:22:29,019
Good work. You managed
to find every head in the kingdom

419
00:22:29,102 --> 00:22:30,479
except the one I'm looking for.

420
00:22:30,562 --> 00:22:33,398
Luci and dry rot conspired against me.

421
00:22:33,482 --> 00:22:37,736
Ugh! So wimpy. Come, headless Bean.
Looks like it's up to us now.

422
00:22:40,322 --> 00:22:42,032
[grunting]

423
00:22:42,115 --> 00:22:43,075
[sighs]

424
00:22:47,037 --> 00:22:48,580
Is this my future?

425
00:22:48,663 --> 00:22:52,626
I mean, we could spruce this place up
and make a pretty nice B and B.

426
00:22:52,709 --> 00:22:55,587
Or maybe when we wake up,
Bean will be back.

427
00:22:55,670 --> 00:22:57,672
And we'll finally beat Dagmar.

428
00:22:57,756 --> 00:23:00,342
And then we can all hang out forever
and be happy.

429
00:23:00,425 --> 00:23:04,971
Whoa, happiness.
That'll take some getting used to.

430
00:23:05,055 --> 00:23:08,809
Or maybe we'll all go off
and do new things with new people

431
00:23:08,892 --> 00:23:10,727
because none of us should be alone.

432
00:23:10,811 --> 00:23:15,398
Maybe I'll have scary adventures
and have to overcome my deepest fears.

433
00:23:15,482 --> 00:23:21,071
And after that, maybe I'll finally finish
my epic novel full of flaming passion

434
00:23:21,154 --> 00:23:23,990
and mysteries hiding in plain sight.

435
00:23:24,074 --> 00:23:29,621
I hope it has a happy ending.
Anything can happen, starting tomorrow.

436
00:23:29,704 --> 00:23:31,790
[snoring]

437
00:23:34,084 --> 00:23:34,918
[gasps]

438
00:23:35,961 --> 00:23:37,129
What the…

439
00:23:39,005 --> 00:23:39,840
Doink.

440
00:23:40,882 --> 00:23:42,884
Touch my ear again and I'll kill you.

441
00:23:44,219 --> 00:23:46,304
[closing theme music playing]