1 00:00:03,220 --> 00:00:05,092 - See, see, see, look, this the part 2 00:00:05,135 --> 00:00:07,050 where he tear off the hair of Chuck Norris' chest. 3 00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:08,269 - The best part-- - I see-- 4 00:00:08,312 --> 00:00:09,705 - Pay attention. - I see it. 5 00:00:09,748 --> 00:00:10,923 - No, 'cause you on your phone. 6 00:00:10,967 --> 00:00:12,664 - I saw. That guy kicked that guy. 7 00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:14,057 That guy is Bruce Lee. 8 00:00:14,101 --> 00:00:15,493 He revolutionized karate flicks, man. 9 00:00:15,537 --> 00:00:17,191 Check it out. 10 00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:19,149 - Where are the dragons? I thought there'd be dragons. 11 00:00:19,193 --> 00:00:21,499 - Ain't no dragons. It's just a metaphor. 12 00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:25,068 Josh, could you watch this movie with me 13 00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:26,287 before I kill our son? 14 00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:27,723 We got a bigger problem 15 00:00:27,766 --> 00:00:29,942 than Shahzad's horrible taste in movies. 16 00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:33,207 I just found this strange hat in our daughter's room, 17 00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:36,079 and I know it doesn't belong to anyone who lives here. 18 00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:37,994 That's where my hat went. 19 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,083 - Oh, it's yours? - Yeah. 20 00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,998 Oh. Huh. 21 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:45,088 - What? It's how we rock 'em now. 22 00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:47,612 Nice try. 23 00:00:47,656 --> 00:00:51,225 You've offended me and my family. 24 00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:55,229 [person yells, whip cracks] 25 00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:58,232 [upbeat music] 26 00:00:58,275 --> 00:01:00,190 ♪ 27 00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:02,279 - Heads up. - Can you knock? 28 00:01:02,323 --> 00:01:04,673 - My bad. [knocks on door] - [sighs] 29 00:01:04,716 --> 00:01:08,111 - The dads know about you and your secret boyfriend. 30 00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:10,244 - Why did you tell them? - I didn't. 31 00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:11,984 Dad found his hat in your bedroom. 32 00:01:12,028 --> 00:01:13,551 Just come clean. 33 00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:15,510 - No, I'm not talking to them about dating. 34 00:01:15,553 --> 00:01:17,294 They're so cringe. 35 00:01:17,338 --> 00:01:19,296 If I need advice, I'll just call Mom. 36 00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:22,125 - Yeah, you're [bleep] with that strategy. 37 00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:23,822 [sighs] 38 00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:29,611 ♪ 39 00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:31,134 Good morning. 40 00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:33,441 - Hey. Good morning, Ma. 41 00:01:33,484 --> 00:01:34,964 Oh, is that for me? 42 00:01:35,007 --> 00:01:36,966 - Yeah, I made you some eggs and coffee. 43 00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:40,187 Oh, what a pleasant surprise. 44 00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:42,841 Wow. How nice. 45 00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:45,583 You must want something. 46 00:01:45,627 --> 00:01:47,281 - I need some advice on how to talk to Amira 47 00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:49,109 about the birds and the bees. 48 00:01:49,152 --> 00:01:51,633 I don't want you to be no great-grandmother no time soon. 49 00:01:51,676 --> 00:01:54,766 - Well, the Bible says fornication is a sin. 50 00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:56,986 But nobody don't read no Bible. 51 00:01:57,029 --> 00:02:00,032 So my advice to you is shut your mouth and say nothing. 52 00:02:00,076 --> 00:02:01,817 - Ma, come on, now, you know I can't do that. 53 00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:03,035 That's my daughter. 54 00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:04,385 Well, then do it your way, 55 00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:06,343 but the more you tell her not to have sex, 56 00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:07,736 the more she's gonna want to. 57 00:02:07,779 --> 00:02:09,172 That's why preachers' kids 58 00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:10,739 are the freakiest ones in the church. 59 00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:12,001 - Damn. - Mm-hmm. 60 00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:13,698 I should've went to church more. 61 00:02:13,742 --> 00:02:20,314 ♪ 62 00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:23,143 - Okay, so remember to speak in general terms. 63 00:02:23,186 --> 00:02:27,103 We're just two dads talking to their two kids about sex. 64 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,539 Yeah, but why both kids, man? 65 00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:30,150 Shahzad ain't the one hiding hats. 66 00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:32,021 - No, no, no, we got to talk to both of them 67 00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:34,415 so it seems natural and we're not focused on Amira. 68 00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:37,026 - Dig, man. That do sound like a good idea, hot shot. 69 00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:38,854 You be reading them parenting books, right? 70 00:02:38,897 --> 00:02:40,682 - Uh-huh, yeah. 71 00:02:42,423 --> 00:02:44,294 Hey, Look who it is-- 72 00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:46,296 Amira! Hi. 73 00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,037 - Come on in. Sit down. - Come on. 74 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:49,517 What's going on? 75 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:51,780 Did something happen to Mom or Grandma? 76 00:02:51,823 --> 00:02:53,434 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not-- 77 00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:55,044 - Sit down. - That is not what we're-- 78 00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:56,611 - We just want to sit down and talk. 79 00:02:56,654 --> 00:02:58,308 - Take a seat. Relax. Relax. 80 00:02:58,352 --> 00:02:59,962 Ain't nothing bad happening. We just want to talk. 81 00:03:00,005 --> 00:03:02,399 - Carrot, if you want. - Hey, where's Shahzad? 82 00:03:02,443 --> 00:03:04,401 - He had to stay after school. - Oh. 83 00:03:04,445 --> 00:03:05,881 Oh, yeah, the basketball team 84 00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:08,710 made the playoffs, so he's at practice. 85 00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:12,583 [whistle blows] 86 00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:15,934 - Hey, Shahzad, you have a second? 87 00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:17,414 Hi, Rain. 88 00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:20,069 - Um, how many girlfriends have you had? 89 00:03:20,112 --> 00:03:21,853 Uh... 90 00:03:21,897 --> 00:03:24,421 just one, but I don't really know 91 00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:26,075 if you can call her a girlfriend. 92 00:03:26,118 --> 00:03:27,946 She wouldn't tell me her middle name. 93 00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:29,861 - Could you remove-- 94 00:03:29,905 --> 00:03:32,429 Oh. 95 00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:34,257 - Sorry. - Thanks. 96 00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:36,085 Yeah, it was just a fling. 97 00:03:36,128 --> 00:03:38,566 We were only together for about a couple weeks. 98 00:03:38,609 --> 00:03:40,568 So you guys hooked up? 99 00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:43,701 - I mean, I wouldn't necessarily say we hooked up. 100 00:03:43,745 --> 00:03:45,616 Third base? 101 00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:48,445 Second? First? 102 00:03:48,489 --> 00:03:50,273 At any point, were you ever on the field? 103 00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:54,277 - We definitely made out. Why are you asking me this? 104 00:03:54,321 --> 00:03:56,279 - I'm trying to prove my hypothesis. 105 00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:57,715 [scoffs] Which is? 106 00:03:57,759 --> 00:04:00,414 - That you never been inside a woman. 107 00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:02,894 Kiss me. 108 00:04:02,938 --> 00:04:04,374 - [chuckles nervously] What? 109 00:04:04,418 --> 00:04:06,942 Just do it, Shahzad. 110 00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:13,253 - Perfect. - Wow, really? 111 00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:17,257 - Yeah, now I know for sure that you're a virgin. 112 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:20,172 Don't act so sad about it. I'm one, too. 113 00:04:20,216 --> 00:04:21,739 But I want to get sex out of the way 114 00:04:21,783 --> 00:04:23,306 before I leave for college. 115 00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,526 You're the perfect candidate to do it with. 116 00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:27,310 I know you'll be gentle and discreet. 117 00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:28,746 - [scoffs] Wait. 118 00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:31,314 You want to have sex with me right now? 119 00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,838 - Not now. We have practice. 120 00:04:33,882 --> 00:04:37,712 But, yeah, I want to have sex. That's the important part. 121 00:04:37,755 --> 00:04:39,061 Are you interested or not? 122 00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:42,543 - Yes, absolutely. 100%, I'm in. 123 00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:44,327 Well, I'm not in yet. 124 00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,938 - Calm down, Shahzad. It's just sex. 125 00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:49,941 [whistle blows] 126 00:04:49,985 --> 00:04:54,946 ♪ 127 00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:57,514 - This weekend. - Got ya. 128 00:04:59,951 --> 00:05:01,736 [upbeat hip-hop music] 129 00:05:01,779 --> 00:05:03,303 Whoo! 130 00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:05,348 I'm gonna have sex. 131 00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:10,310 ♪ 132 00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:11,920 So? 133 00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:13,661 - Uh, we just wanted to have a little check-in. 134 00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:15,010 About? 135 00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:17,926 - You know, relationships and stuff. 136 00:05:17,969 --> 00:05:19,362 You know, you're young. 137 00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:20,755 You might have a lot of questions 138 00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:23,279 about relationships and stuff. 139 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,368 - So this is you guys trying to give me the sex talk. 140 00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,675 - No, hold up. Don't be saying the word "sex" like that. 141 00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:30,068 - Mom already gave me the talk, remember? 142 00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:32,854 You skipped it because you said the diagrams were too scary. 143 00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:34,551 They were very graphic. 144 00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:36,553 Hmm, speak for yourself. 145 00:05:36,597 --> 00:05:39,121 Those graphics did the job when you in the pen. 146 00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:40,688 - I don't want to hear any of this. 147 00:05:40,731 --> 00:05:42,167 - No, no, no. - No, no, wait, wait, wait. 148 00:05:42,211 --> 00:05:43,995 - Amira. Amira. - Wait, wait, wait. 149 00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:45,997 Listen to me. 150 00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:49,392 You'll end up in a situation where you'll meet a boy. 151 00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:52,090 Mm, maybe he likes to wear Yankee fitted caps and-- 152 00:05:52,134 --> 00:05:53,962 - Or--yeah. - We just want you to know 153 00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:57,574 we here if you need somebody to rat to, talk to, you know? 154 00:05:57,618 --> 00:06:00,055 - Actually, um, I do have some questions. 155 00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:01,404 All right. Here we are. 156 00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:02,971 That's what we were looking for. 157 00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:05,190 - We got a few answers. - Yeah, let 'em rip. 158 00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:07,410 - Come on. - Let's rip, let's chat. 159 00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:10,021 - Okay, so I was wondering, um-- 160 00:06:10,065 --> 00:06:12,328 they call it a "blow job," you know? 161 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:15,244 But where do you blow? Is it the little tiny hole? 162 00:06:15,287 --> 00:06:16,854 Like an oboe? 163 00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:19,770 Also, if you swallow, do you become pregnant? 164 00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:21,511 No answer? 165 00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:23,513 Also, I read a great "Teen Vogue" article 166 00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:25,428 on prostate stimulation. 167 00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:27,299 Okay, well, I'll send you guys the article, 168 00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:28,692 and you can tell me your thoughts. 169 00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:31,042 Thanks so much, okay. 170 00:06:31,086 --> 00:06:32,392 Bye. 171 00:06:32,435 --> 00:06:34,655 ♪ 172 00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:36,091 [cell phone chimes] 173 00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:39,137 - Oh, my God, she sent the article. 174 00:06:39,181 --> 00:06:41,705 - Do you know about this? - Don't say nothing! 175 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,231 - Wait. What is milking? 176 00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:48,712 - No, just leave this right here. 177 00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:55,110 [upbeat music] 178 00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:56,894 ♪ 179 00:06:56,938 --> 00:06:59,157 - Hey, did you get everything on the list I sent you? 180 00:06:59,201 --> 00:07:01,856 - All I got--Forget that list. All I got is binoculars. 181 00:07:01,899 --> 00:07:03,292 Excuse me, you dropped something. 182 00:07:03,335 --> 00:07:05,076 A conversation. Can I pick up on it? 183 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,774 - What about the disguises and the rope? 184 00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:08,471 - No, listen, we agreed to follow Amira 185 00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:10,125 to see who she's meeting, and that's it. 186 00:07:10,168 --> 00:07:13,302 - Yeah, well, if he gets handsy, I got a stun gun. 187 00:07:13,345 --> 00:07:15,086 - See, you getting overzealous with it. 188 00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:16,827 Stun gun? Really, Josh? Come on, man. 189 00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:18,873 This was supposed to be just an intel mission, man, 190 00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:20,309 - nothing else. - Oh wait, hold on. 191 00:07:20,352 --> 00:07:22,006 [door closes] She's coming. 192 00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:24,705 - Oh. Bye, Dad. - All right, bye. 193 00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:26,881 - Hey, where you going? - Out. 194 00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:29,492 - With who? - A friend. 195 00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:32,060 Love you. Bye. 196 00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:34,236 - Love you. [door opens] 197 00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:39,284 It's go time. 198 00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:42,636 [mysterious music] 199 00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:49,730 ♪ 200 00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:54,604 - Amira's on the move. I repeat, on the move. 201 00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:58,782 ♪ 202 00:07:58,826 --> 00:08:03,439 - Yeah, I see. I see her. She's walking fast. 203 00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:06,921 - Where are you, though? - I'm right here. 204 00:08:06,964 --> 00:08:09,619 - Jesus Christ, man. - I'm right here. 205 00:08:09,663 --> 00:08:12,013 - Put your phone-- - I don't--why am I talking-- 206 00:08:12,056 --> 00:08:13,841 - I got my phone away. Let's follow. 207 00:08:13,884 --> 00:08:16,452 - Can we go? Are you ready? - Yeah. 208 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:20,935 ♪ 209 00:08:20,978 --> 00:08:22,545 - She said she was going to meet a friend, 210 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,242 but she didn't say who. 211 00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:26,680 - Did you ask her who? - Oh, I'm not gonna do that. 212 00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:28,551 That's a violation of her privacy. 213 00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:32,729 - No, this is violation of her privacy. 214 00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:34,339 - Hi. - What's up? 215 00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:35,384 Javi? 216 00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:37,386 ♪ 217 00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,562 - They just might be talking about some tutoring stuff. 218 00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,695 ♪ 219 00:08:41,738 --> 00:08:44,698 - Yeah, yeah, if he needs help in kissing class. 220 00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:47,352 ♪ 221 00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:51,400 [indistinct chatter] 222 00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:53,794 You know how Dominicans are. 223 00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:58,407 ♪ 224 00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:00,322 Dominicans are very loving people. 225 00:09:00,365 --> 00:09:02,411 You know how the French do the two kisses on the cheeks? 226 00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:03,978 Where you think they got that from? 227 00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:06,589 - Dominicans. - She lied to me. 228 00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:08,722 It makes me wonder, what else is she lying about, you know? 229 00:09:08,765 --> 00:09:10,767 We should follow them and see where they go next. 230 00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:12,203 - Josh, I'm gonna ask you something. 231 00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:14,075 - What? - What has gotten into you? 232 00:09:14,118 --> 00:09:16,381 Maybe we should just trust in my mother's advice 233 00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:18,209 and say nothing, okay? 234 00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:20,516 Be like Bruce Lee. Be like water. 235 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,431 Not like Jim Kelly. 236 00:09:22,474 --> 00:09:25,521 You come straight out of a comic book, Mr. Han-man. 237 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,218 - Okay, all right, let's go home. 238 00:09:27,262 --> 00:09:28,872 - Let's go on home, man. - Let's go home. 239 00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:31,875 - Let's go home. - Let's go. 240 00:09:31,919 --> 00:09:33,224 - They all right. Let's-- 241 00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:35,226 You know what, Josh? God damn it. 242 00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:40,492 ♪ 243 00:09:40,536 --> 00:09:42,233 Hey, how you doing? 244 00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:44,279 Um, I'd like to have a room, please--king-size bed. 245 00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:46,150 - How long? - Cal King. 246 00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:47,630 I heard it's longer. 247 00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:49,632 - No. How long do you want the room for? 248 00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,895 20 minutes, 40 minutes, an hour? 249 00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:54,898 - One hour. - Mm. 250 00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:56,944 Look at you. 251 00:09:56,987 --> 00:10:00,425 - Here you go. - Uh-uh. Cash only. 252 00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:03,428 - Who carries cash anymore? - They do. 253 00:10:03,472 --> 00:10:06,649 [indistinct chatter] 254 00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:08,477 - Come on, son, I'm on my lunch break. 255 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,566 I got 35 minutes on my meter. 256 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,221 [scoffs] 257 00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:15,353 Think we lost them? 258 00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:18,661 They're still following us. 259 00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:23,057 ♪ 260 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:25,276 Whatchu wanna do? 261 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:26,930 [laughs] 262 00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:29,063 You know what would really make their heads explode? 263 00:10:29,106 --> 00:10:31,065 - We're going in here. - You're crazy. 264 00:10:31,108 --> 00:10:38,072 ♪ 265 00:10:38,115 --> 00:10:40,074 Let's check it out. 266 00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:42,859 ♪ 267 00:10:42,903 --> 00:10:45,209 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 268 00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:46,558 Three Xs. 269 00:10:48,604 --> 00:10:51,694 This is a sex shop. Now we got to do something. 270 00:10:51,738 --> 00:10:53,870 - I thought Roberta said to say nothing. 271 00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:55,611 - Yeah, she said, "Say nothing." 272 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,961 She ain't say nothing about, "Don't do nothing." 273 00:10:58,005 --> 00:11:00,703 - What is that? - I don't know what that is. 274 00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,487 Look like a fist. I don't know what it is. 275 00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:08,972 [hip-hop music] 276 00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:12,628 ♪ 277 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:16,023 - This is not the kind of father that I wanted to be-- 278 00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:17,807 hiding behind a vibrating horse, 279 00:11:17,851 --> 00:11:21,550 watching my daughter browse in a sex shop. 280 00:11:21,593 --> 00:11:24,118 - You watch your mouth. Do you understand me? 281 00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:25,772 Don't you ever mention vibrate 282 00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:28,165 while our daughter is browsing a sex shop, never. 283 00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:31,560 - What happened to our sweet little girl? 284 00:11:31,603 --> 00:11:34,258 Something really changed, like, three years ago. 285 00:11:34,302 --> 00:11:35,651 - So what you trying to say-- 286 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,479 Amira's wilin' out because of me? 287 00:11:37,522 --> 00:11:41,004 - No, no. I mean, just Shay and I, we worked really hard 288 00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:43,180 to set boundaries for her, and you come into her life, 289 00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:45,139 and you let her think she can get away with anything. 290 00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:47,750 - That's just another fancy way of saying it's my fault, okay? 291 00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,752 Maybe you didn't raise her right. 292 00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:51,362 Okay, I've seen "Caligula," 293 00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:54,583 and everybody on that ship daddy was white. 294 00:11:54,626 --> 00:11:56,585 - If you two aren't gonna ride the horsey, 295 00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:58,282 would you please move away from my store? 296 00:11:58,326 --> 00:11:59,936 - Sorry about that. - You're creeping people out. 297 00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,938 - I'm sorry. - Sorry. 298 00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:03,679 Sorry. 299 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,289 I think we can both agree 300 00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:07,335 we haven't always been the best role models. 301 00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:08,945 Well, I will admit, you know, 302 00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:10,599 I wasn't no angel when I was her age. 303 00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:12,383 I spent a lot of time in stairwells. 304 00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:14,951 - Really? I was always under the bleachers. 305 00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:16,648 It's like the white man's stairwell. 306 00:12:16,692 --> 00:12:18,825 - Well, no wonder she got daddy issues. 307 00:12:18,868 --> 00:12:21,218 Most people got one bad daddy. She got two. 308 00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:26,789 - Oh, no, here they come. Go, go, go, go... 309 00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:29,400 Oh, my God. 310 00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:31,228 They are so lame. 311 00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:32,969 Are they just gonna follow us around all day, 312 00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:35,972 or are they gonna make a move? 313 00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:39,149 I mean, it's kind of cool. 314 00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:41,630 It's like we're in a spy movie or something. 315 00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:44,415 - [chuckles] [horse neighing] 316 00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:45,982 I know how to end this. 317 00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:47,201 Come on. 318 00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:51,771 ♪ 319 00:12:51,814 --> 00:12:54,599 - At least we're trying. I mean, this shit is hard. 320 00:12:54,643 --> 00:12:56,297 I wish Shay was here to help. 321 00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:58,125 - Shay was just like Amira when she was young, man. 322 00:12:58,168 --> 00:12:59,822 Had that little rebellious stage, 323 00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:02,825 but thank God everything worked out. 324 00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:06,220 - Wait, if Shay was just like Amira, 325 00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:08,744 that makes you Javi. 326 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,224 Shit, you right. 327 00:13:10,267 --> 00:13:11,834 - They just went in the pharmacy. 328 00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:14,619 - We got to stop them now. Come on. 329 00:13:14,663 --> 00:13:16,447 Go, go, go, go, go. 330 00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:19,711 [upbeat music] 331 00:13:19,755 --> 00:13:26,806 ♪ 332 00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:33,377 Are you sure this is cool? 333 00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:35,640 - Oliver's parents are in Dubai or Hong Kong. 334 00:13:35,684 --> 00:13:37,512 Trust me, it's gonna be okay. 335 00:13:37,555 --> 00:13:40,254 [doorbell rings] 336 00:13:44,345 --> 00:13:45,868 - Welcome to The Smush House, guys. 337 00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:48,262 It's $15 for her, $30 for you, cash only. 338 00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:49,872 No Venmo? 339 00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,874 - Do I look like a congressman from Florida? 340 00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:53,789 Ugh, fine. 341 00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:59,664 - All right, have fun smushin', you crazy kids. 342 00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:03,016 - You had cash this whole time? - Yep. 343 00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:06,019 [smooth hip-hop music] 344 00:14:06,062 --> 00:14:08,586 ♪ 345 00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:12,068 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 346 00:14:12,112 --> 00:14:13,940 Excuse me, ma'am, do you guys 347 00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:17,508 have ultra-ribbed magnum Consent-ex condoms, please? 348 00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:21,599 - Let me check. Do we have Consent-ex condoms back there? 349 00:14:21,643 --> 00:14:23,427 Y'all getting rubbers? 350 00:14:23,471 --> 00:14:25,299 It's Taser time. 351 00:14:25,342 --> 00:14:27,475 [Taser discharges] [grunts] 352 00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:31,131 [upbeat music] 353 00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:33,611 [Taser clicking] 354 00:14:33,655 --> 00:14:37,267 [grunting] 355 00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:41,881 ♪ 356 00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:43,578 - I told you not to bring that thing. 357 00:14:43,621 --> 00:14:45,319 [groans] 358 00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:47,843 Oh, my God 359 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,801 Hey. 360 00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:52,979 - Well, I hope you proud of yourself, Amira. 361 00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:58,027 Your little jokes and antics could've got this man hurt. 362 00:14:58,071 --> 00:14:59,724 You followed us. 363 00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:01,552 - Yeah, that's why we were messing with y'all. 364 00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:03,337 - Hey, if you were truthful about who you were meeting, 365 00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:04,860 none of this would have ever happened. 366 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,776 - I was truthful. Javi is my friend. 367 00:15:07,819 --> 00:15:09,691 - Mm-mm. That's a lie of omission. 368 00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:11,519 Tray's my friend, but I don't kiss him. 369 00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:13,564 - Go to sex shops or buy condoms. 370 00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:15,044 Javi's more than a friend. 371 00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:16,959 - Can you guys stop treating me like a baby? 372 00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:19,875 To me, you are my baby, okay? 373 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,095 I just found out about you three years ago. 374 00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:25,489 So, to me, in my mind, that makes you three. 375 00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:26,969 I'm not three. 376 00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:29,406 I'm 17, and I'm about to go to college. 377 00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:32,018 Amira, I know you 17, 378 00:15:32,061 --> 00:15:34,803 but I just got here. 379 00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:36,936 I feel like you leaving the nest already. 380 00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:41,375 That's all. 381 00:15:41,418 --> 00:15:44,247 - Listen, everything's gonna be okay. 382 00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:46,380 Look, I have two great dads who taught me 383 00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:48,686 to never let me blow up my life. 384 00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:53,387 Come here. 385 00:15:53,430 --> 00:15:56,738 - Hey, that's what I like to see. 386 00:15:56,781 --> 00:16:00,829 ♪ 387 00:16:00,872 --> 00:16:03,005 - Nuh-uh. - I got it. 388 00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:05,051 Oh, whoa, whoa. 389 00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:08,141 - What, you got to pee? - No. 390 00:16:08,184 --> 00:16:09,751 - The Taser make you feel that way. 391 00:16:09,794 --> 00:16:11,622 - No, it's worse. I can't find my phone. 392 00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:14,016 Oh, I got you, Dad. 393 00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:17,715 Here, let me check your location. 394 00:16:17,759 --> 00:16:20,892 - Upper East Side? What's my phone doing up there? 395 00:16:20,936 --> 00:16:22,503 That's not your phone. 396 00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:24,896 That's Shahzad. Your phone's in the pharmacy. 397 00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:27,421 - I did not know Shahzad kicked it on the Upper East Side. 398 00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:29,118 That's because he doesn't. 399 00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:31,729 - The only thing that's up there is The Smush House. 400 00:16:31,773 --> 00:16:33,079 - What the hell is a smush house? 401 00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:34,863 - It's dope-- that's where people 402 00:16:34,906 --> 00:16:37,213 in Amira's school go to take drugs and have sex. 403 00:16:37,257 --> 00:16:38,562 Oh. 404 00:16:38,606 --> 00:16:40,825 - We've never been. I've just heard. 405 00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:42,479 - We got to go up there right now. 406 00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:44,046 - Are you about to do to Shahzad 407 00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:45,221 what you just did to me? 408 00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:46,570 - Yes. - Absolutely. 409 00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:48,268 - Awesome. [laughs] 410 00:16:48,311 --> 00:16:51,140 I'll call an Uber. We'll get there so much faster. 411 00:16:51,184 --> 00:16:54,230 - ♪ Once upon a time, and I heard that I was ugly ♪ 412 00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:56,493 ♪ Came from a bitch who nigga wanna fuck on me ♪ 413 00:16:56,537 --> 00:16:58,669 ♪ I said my face bomb, ass tight ♪ 414 00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:00,062 ♪ Racks stack up Shaq height 415 00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:01,890 ♪ Jewelry on me, flashlight 416 00:17:01,933 --> 00:17:04,675 Man, I've seen crack houses 417 00:17:04,719 --> 00:17:06,416 with more supervision than this. 418 00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:09,419 - Yeah. I can't believe that kid didn't take Venmo. 419 00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:12,422 - You never brought my daughter here before, right? 420 00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:13,902 Never, sir. 421 00:17:13,945 --> 00:17:17,253 - Y'all not smushing? - Hell, no. 422 00:17:17,297 --> 00:17:19,125 - Let me tell you something, man. 423 00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:21,910 I swore I would never go back to jail. 424 00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:23,912 But for my daughter, I will. 425 00:17:23,955 --> 00:17:25,740 - Are we clear? - Yes, sir. 426 00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:27,481 - You swear on your mother's life? 427 00:17:27,524 --> 00:17:29,787 - I swear. - Let's go. 428 00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:36,142 Wait, you're leaving already? 429 00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:40,059 - Yeah, turns out I'm not really a cuddler. 430 00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:42,104 Thanks again for the help, Shahzad. 431 00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:44,106 It was better than I thought it'd be. 432 00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:46,369 - Well, can I at least get a hug? 433 00:17:46,413 --> 00:17:48,458 [chuckles] 434 00:17:54,464 --> 00:17:57,119 - Rain? - Nice, dude. 435 00:17:57,163 --> 00:18:00,514 - Wait, she's fully clothed, and you're naked in bed? 436 00:18:00,557 --> 00:18:03,125 - Please tell me you kept your socks on, 437 00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:06,172 'cause you're not ready for love. 438 00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:09,175 [soft music] 439 00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:11,786 ♪ 440 00:18:11,829 --> 00:18:13,831 You didn't listen, did you? 441 00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:18,575 ♪ 442 00:18:18,619 --> 00:18:21,752 What part of "do nothing" didn't you understand? 443 00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:24,146 - I should've listened to you, Ma. 444 00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:27,149 Turns out one was a prankster, and one's was a freak. 445 00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:29,412 Tray, they're growing up. 446 00:18:29,456 --> 00:18:32,589 They do things that you better off not knowing about. 447 00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:34,722 Why you think I never asked why you spent 448 00:18:34,765 --> 00:18:37,681 so much time with Maxine in the projects' stairwell? 449 00:18:39,379 --> 00:18:40,858 You knew about that? 450 00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:44,688 - Everybody in the projects knew about that! 451 00:18:44,732 --> 00:18:46,473 You have a very distinct moan. 452 00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:49,606 - Yeah, Ma, but I kept my socks on, so it don't count. 453 00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:52,000 - Well, that's good, because back then, 454 00:18:52,043 --> 00:18:54,742 you were not ready for love. 455 00:18:54,785 --> 00:18:56,439 And, also, 456 00:18:56,483 --> 00:19:00,400 that's why we don't talk about things like this. 457 00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:04,926 Which one of my grandbabies is a freak? 458 00:19:04,969 --> 00:19:07,972 - We not gonna talk about it. - I bet it was Shahzad. 459 00:19:09,365 --> 00:19:11,193 Not just a freak. 460 00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:13,717 He's a witty-bitty bing-bong freak. 461 00:19:13,761 --> 00:19:15,458 Oh. 462 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,726 [funky music] 463 00:19:22,770 --> 00:19:25,164 [doorbell rings] 464 00:19:30,691 --> 00:19:33,824 - Hey, you're that-- - Yep. 465 00:19:33,868 --> 00:19:35,609 Have a nice day. 466 00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:37,524 Yeah, enjoy your lunch. 467 00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:39,221 I always do. 468 00:19:39,265 --> 00:19:41,092 - Mm-hmm. 469 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,619 - ♪ The way that I met her was on tour at a concert ♪ 470 00:19:45,662 --> 00:19:48,230 ♪ She had long hair and a short miniskirt ♪ 471 00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:51,059 ♪ I just got onstage, drippin', pourin' with sweat ♪ 472 00:19:51,102 --> 00:19:54,062 ♪ I was walking through the crowd, and guess who I met ♪ 473 00:19:54,105 --> 00:19:55,846 ♪ You 474 00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:59,067 ♪ You got what I need 475 00:19:59,110 --> 00:20:02,070 ♪ But you say he's just a friend ♪ 476 00:20:02,113 --> 00:20:04,246 ♪ And you say he's just a friend ♪ 477 00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:07,336 ♪ Oh, baby, you