When you're a convict, life on the outside happens without you.
Ten months after getting out of prison,
I'm still learning about all the things I missed out on.
I wish I'd had my kids back in the good ol' days
when being a dad was easier.
You didn't have to go to no birthday parties...
you didn't have to do no hair...
didn't have to help with no homework.
Back then, all you had to do was teach your son
how to tie a tie for the eventual funerals...
and, your daughter, how to keep her legs closed.
Now I have to learn all this social-media stuff
just to communicate with my kids.
The real reason is back then, the expectations were lower.
There was a lot less for dads to do, which means...
there was a lot less for dads to miss out on.
Okay, okay, I get it.
You see a black man sitting here,
so I must be selling or stealing something.
Well, you got the wrong dude, Officer! 'Cause that ain't me!
Actually, I see a grown man on a bench
with a coat folded in his lap taking pictures of little kids.
Ho, ho. Okay.
I see your point, and it's valid.
Yo, Felony, I did not know you was
in the medical profession in addition to being a thief.
I'm wearing scrubs 'cause I was my girlfriend's labor coach.
Oh. Did you cut the cord? It's so cool.
I cut the cord on both of my kids.
I did, and we delayed clamping, of course.
- Of course. - What the hell is going on?!
Ain't like the old days, Tray.
These fathers go through the whole process now. Ugh!
I'll just add that to the list of things
I missed out on with my kids.
Man, I went from pre-natal care
right up until the baby came out.
I think you mean, "Until the placenta came out."
Alejandro, you gotta be here at least a month
before you earn the right to drop knowledge.
But I thought I was waiting a month to use the bathroom already.
- I don't make the rules, okay? - Yeah, you did.
Right before Alejandro moved in, you said,
"Let's break this fool."
And it worked, man.
What's goin' on, my rehabilitated refugees?
Cuzzo. I'm outside mad-long. What's goin' on?
Sorry, Bobby. My man Felony just had a baby yesterday.
- Congratulations! Natural birth? - Yeah.
Oh, that's a perfect round head for the vaginal delivery.
- That is excellent. - You know how to deliver babies?
You remember, uh, Koko, my sister's best friend?
- She had the uneven titties? - Mm-hmm.
Anyways, I wake up one morning. I go to the kitchen.
She in the middle of labor, on the table, 'kay?
You know what I'm saying? My sister's gone. Mom's is at work.
She used to work at, uh, D'Agostino's off of Third.
You know what I'm saying? You know, that's not even there no more.
It's an architectural firm.
- It's, like, uh, "Logan and Burns Designs," 'kay? - Bobby!
Cut to the chase!
Okay, okay. So, I get a cab, right?
So, we're on the way to Manhattan to see the doctor.
Her contractions is goin' crazy, and they 20 seconds apart.
So I'm like, "Pull the cab over."
And right there in the back of the Yellow Cab,
the baby was born on the side of the Brooklyn Bridge, B.
- So you delivered that baby? - You know what? No, no.
Luckily, the cabbie was an obstetrician in, uh, BanGladesh.
Check this out. This is when I started filming
when Julie was at 10 centimeters.
Wow!
Baby, I think it's wrong.
The picture shows that the holes are on top.
Yeah, why are we even doing this?
Have you not seen the house?
There is nowhere to put any of our crap.
All of our stuff is on the dining table.
You got books, you got iPads, you got, uh, cellphones.
And we always gotta clear the table off
before we can even eat a meal.
And if I have take off one more electronic gadget
or if I trip over another cord, you're gonna end up havin' to
take me out of here in a straitjacket!
I meant, why didn't we just pay somebody to assemble it?
- Oh. Sorry. - Mm-hmm.
- I-It's been a long week. - Yeah, I know.
Should be in bed binge-watching some TV or just relaxing.
You tryin' to have some afternoon sex?
- Yes. Yeah. - Oh, well, you should've just said that
from the get-go, you know.
- Ugh. Hold on. - Really?
Wait a minute. You stay right there, 'cause I'm getting that.
Shay.
Please tell me you filmed the kids being born.
Josh, do those instructions say, "Answer random-ass question
from dude that doesn't call before comin' over"?
Uh, it's mostly just pictures. Uh...
Josh, were you in the delivery room
when the twins were being born?
You know I didn't meet the kids until they were 4.
- What's up, Tray? - The guys at the halfway house
all got to see their kids being born.
You know, they coached, they cut cords.
Even Bobby coached a birth!
Anyway, please tell me filmed it.
I would love to see my kids being born,
even if it's videotape.
Yeah, I mean, one of my girlfriends
was in the delivery room with a camera,
but I don't know where the tape is at.
Now, look here. We was in the middle of something.
- Can this wait? - I waited 15 years.
And I don't know what that day is about...
how much they weighed, where they were born at,
if it was caesarean.
I don't even know which one of my kids
pushed their way into this crazy-ass world first!
- Amira came out first. - Of course she did.
- Yeah. - Anyway, Shay, please.
No, man, I lost all of that.
First birthday, first holiday, first steps,
first words...
... first breath.
Look, I can look down in the basement
and see if it's in one of those boxes down there.
- Maybe the tape's in there. - Wait.
You got a videotape of the kids' birth in the basement?
I wanna see that. I've never seen that.
I was howling like I was transforming into a werewolf.
It wasn't an easy time for me then.
James told me not to bring the kids this weekend.
I was like, "What do you think? I'm made of money?"
My mother can't babysit them anymore,
especially since he got just locked up for the third time.
Well, I brought extra food in case the kids get hungry,
and I got a whole sock full of quarters for the vending machine.
I remembered my quarters this week.
And my pictures of the new baby.
Made Gary some peanut-butter cookies, too.
If that asshole guard let me bring 'em in this time.
- First time on the bus? - It's that obvious?
- You goin' to visit family members? - My boyfriend.
He's in for attempted murder, but he didn't do it, though.
We got ourselves a good lawyer this time, so he's appealing it.
I just hope he's out in time for Christmas this year.
My boyfriend won't be.
Listen, I'm-a tell you something that I wish someone had told me
the first time that Caesar got locked up.
Okay, you gonna have to be on the phone a lot.
You can buy him these phone cards so he can call you collect.
And then if he waits till after midnight, it's a little cheaper.
Also, me and Caesar, we write to each other all the time.
That's why I always carry this around.
You see how the stamp is upside down?
- Mm-hmm. - That means "I love you."
Can't he just say that in the letter?
- What you mean? - Never mind.
Is your dad on a time-out, too?
What's that?
Is your dad here 'cause he's on a time-out like my daddy?
Yeah. Time-out. That's right.
Get your ID's out!
What are you doing, crazy man?
Tryin' to get this good baby smell on me.
Boy, that has been in a box for the last 14 years.
If anything, it smells like mothballs.
I wonder who wore this one. Amira or Shahzad?
They both did.
I was so overwhelmed when they were little.
It didn't matter to me. Boy or girl.
As long as they were clean, I was puttin' their clothes on 'em.
This was the last box.
You know, I moved around a lot, Tray.
I'm sorry. It must've got lost in the shuffle.
Shay, where'd you get that elephant?!
From the box. Why?
I had the same exact one!
Shahzad used to carry this around with him everywhere. It was his.
I used to carry mine's around all the time, too.
Yo, listen. When I was a kid,
elephants was my jam.
Especially after I learned that they'll stomp their owners
to death if they're mean to them.
They don't forget. And they got big dicks.
Hmm, well, Shahzad like "Dumbo," the Disney movie.
I wonder what the twins got in common with me.
Ha. Way too much.
Shahzad chewed just like you.
Amira make that same face that you make when you concentrate.
- I'm concentrating. - Mm-hmm.
They used to drive me crazy.
Oh, and they both loved to grab at my boobs.
And we know that's genetic.
Well, that's 'cause we recognize top-shelf boobs when we see them.
- Shay. - Hmm?
It's all right. Thanks for trying.
You know what? We got a storage unit up in Queens.
Maybe the tape's there.
- Where are you going? - I'm going to Queens.
It's a long subway ride, and I'm going upstairs first
to get some of them energy bars you and Josh got.
You know I got a car, right?
Well, I'm-a still have the energy bars. You coming?
Today, we are going to the farm.
Boy, it is nice to have some help.
I don't know when the last time it was
I sat down here and just relaxed.
This whole VCR setup you got going
is the life-saver, girl... not me.
And lookit. You have baby videos.
Are you crazy?
Before you got here, I used to have to take the twins
with me to the bathroom when I got ready for work.
They seen me naked so times,
I don't even think they recognize me with clothes on.
- Hey. I'm gonna go warm up their food... - Mom.
... while they... What?
I am so proud of you.
Six months clean. You are doing so good.
Thank you, baby.
I'm just sorry I wasn't here for you when they were born.
Well, you're here now.
And like I keep telling you, I got a birth video
we can sit down and watch together so you can see what we missed.
And I keep telling you, "Hell naw." Mnh-mnh.
Look. I haven't even watched it by myself.
I feel like it's weird.
And watching it with your mama feels right?
- Yeah. - Girl, I don't wanna see stuff
coming out of your coochie!
Don't get your hopes up.
Just check anything that has "2002."
Damn. These all the letters I wrote you from prison?
Yeah.
They're still sealed.
I wrote you dozens of letters from prison,
and you didn't read one?
I was afraid, Tray.
Afraid of what?
I mean, you wouldn't even tuck your chain in
while we was ridin' the R train.
But you were scared to read them letters.
I knew whatever you wrote would piss me off
or make me wanna try to work things with you.
And I couldn't afford either one. I'm sorry.
I had to be indifferent, or I wouldn't have made it.
Hmm. I get it.
But damn. I poured my heart out in those letters.
Well, if it'll make you feel any better, I can read one right now.
It would.
Okay.
Let's see.
N-No.
I wrote this one asking you to put some money on my books.
No. No. Not this one.
I wrote this one asking you to send me
some nasty pictures of yourself.
No.
I wrote this one 'cause I was mad at you
for not sending nasty pictures of yourself.
Oh, hell, no! This was nasty pictures of me.
- Who took those? - Don't worry about it!
No, no, no, no. Let's find one.
Let me see if I can find one in here that's good.
This is a good one right here.
This is a letter...
the happiest day of my life in prison.
The day I got my G.E.D.
I didn't know you got your high-school diploma.
And look at you, Tray.
I don't know what I was so damn excited for.
I had eleven more years to go, man.
I didn't know what I was gonna do.
What, I was gonna ask for a raise at my kitchen job?
You know, enroll in college and defer it for 12 more years?
Well, maybe it was good to break up the monotony.
Hm. I didn't do it for that, though, Shay.
I was planning on gettin' out and taking care of you.
Now the kids are here.
I'm even more motivated to get myself together.
And when I do that, baby, that's when I'll be proud.
- Ah! There it is! I found it! - Whoa!
I was gonna make you reenact the delivery for me.
But now all we got to do is get a VCR,
go to your house, and watch this with Josh.
I don't have a VCR.
You mean to tell me you got a pinstripe polka-dot pantsuit from 1982,
but you threw out the machine that plays this?
No. I didn't throw it out.
- _ - SHAY: Mama, tell me the truth.
You sold my goddamn TV so you could buy drugs!
Don't you cuss around me. I can still slap your...
You are high on crack, and you stole your daughter's TV!
And you're talkin' about me cussin'?!
You need to get help.
Hmm.
Fuck.
Wait a... Wait a minute.
Where's the money that was in here?
Ohh! How should I know?
There was $200 in here yesterday, Mama.
How dare you accuse me!
That was my grocery money.
How am I supposed to feed my kids?!
Get out. Get out of my house!
What you mean, get out of your house?
- Yep. - Girl, you ain't shit!
- You gonna put me out?! - Get out of my house!
Oh, please. I ain't thinkin' 'bout you!
Get the fuck out!
Ohh. My babies. My babies.
Yeah. Yeah.
Shh. Shhh.
We come too far, and I got to watch this video tape tonight!
But we don't have a VCR.
Hmm. I think I know somebody who might.
Seriously? What kind of cheapskate hoarder would still have a VCR?
The kind that runs a halfway house.
I thought you was exaggerating when you said
this Mullins character was cheap.
This looks like a high-school production of "Good Times."
Shh. Keep it down. I'm supposed to get permission ahead of time
before I bring anybody in here of the female persuasion.
- You mean women? - Ain't nobody said nothin' about no woman.
I said "female."
When I first got here,
he confiscated a bearded dragon from Big Country
when he found out it was a she.
- Mm-hmm. - Took it down to his private quarters
in the basement, none of us ever saw it again.
God damn it. I would hate to think
of what happened to little Tatiana.
I liked that bearded dragon.
I bet you she killed herself,
'cause I would hate to live here.
I hate everything about here, to be honest.
Well, you try living here. Check it out, yo.
There you go. There you go right there.
This is the second childbirth video I've seen today.
Huh?
Come on, girl! Come on.
Who's that talking? Who filmed this?
My old friend Lisa Johnson.
Ratchet-ass Lisa Johnson?
Turtle from the projects?
- Lisa is not ratchet. - Pop it out like a ping-pong ball!
Pop it, pop it, pop, enh!
Okay, maybe you should mute it right here.
- Yup. - It's not... Nothing happenin' for a minute.
You still keep in contact with Turtle?
Are you serious?
I lost all my friends after the kids were born.
Single moms just have to survive.
No time for fun or socializing.
I mean, for years, my idea of fun was taking a bath
or going to the laundromat alone.
Can I ask you something else, Shay?
Why'd you save my letters if you wasn't gonna read them?
I don't know.
I am so sorry for missing the interview earlier.
Thank you so much for squeezing me in, Ms. Koch.
Not a problem. Please call me Julie.
Okay. Well, clothing is my passion.
This is my favorite store.
It would be a dream come true to be able to work...
C-Can you excuse me just one moment? Just a second.
My babysitter said she was sick again.
Might be time for me to get a new one.
Here you go.
- Single mom? - Yeah.
Me too.
You look amazing for having two toddlers.
I was such a wreck when mine were that age.
- Thank you so much for saying that, Julie. - Mm-hmm.
I actually made this dress myself.
- You're kidding me. - No, I'm not kidding.
Here. Try this with that printed blouse.
And it's a great length for you, too.
Ooh, this is perfect.
I usually don't like what salespeople pick out for me,
but you have a great eye.
You should go into fashion.
You know, I've thought about that, but I'm a single mom,
and those fashion programs are so expensive...
Yeah, I'm still paying off student loans.
Hmm. If I had parents
that could help out, maybe I would, but...
Oh, your parents not around?
Well, my mom is, but she's an addict.
Crack. It's horrible.
And then the father of my children, he's in prison,
and that's because he was selling crack.
And then you... You know what?
Um, how 'bout I go ahead and just set up
a fitting room for you, and you can try this on?
It's gonna look great on you.
I forgot how disgusting and primal childbirth is.
This is some serious "Wild Kingdom" type shit.
It's like me right there
is the same thing as a female gazelle.
I was gonna say a Tasmanian devil.
But I'll tell you what.
Your stretched-out va-jay-jay look way better than
Felony's girl's stretched-out va-jay-jay.
Worst compliment I've ever gotten.
That's my daughter's head right there.
Yeah, she's crowning. Oh, no. Mnh-mnh.
- Is that a piece of... - Yeah.
I pooped on the table right there.
Are you sure you wanna continue to watch this?
Hell yeah! That's my daughter's head.
I wanna watch every second of this!
Mnh-mnh-mnh. Un-mute it. I wanna hear this part.
Okay. Had a little accident.
We're just gonna wait till they clean that up.
But don't worry. Twin Number One will be making his debut.
Aaah! My pussy's tearing!
Okay. Okay. Here we go.
Look. That's baby Amira.
That's my daughter. My princess.
Aw, don't get me to crying, Tray.
Don't cry. You're gonna make me cry now.
Shay, that's our baby right there.
I know.
I can't believe you did all that by yourself, Shay.
You're so strong.
A goddamn queen, my dear.
I'm sorry that I put you in a position
where you had to be so strong.
I owe Josh. He stepped in.
He protected you... and the kids.
I could never repay him for that.
No, I can't.
Thank you, Tray.
Aw, Shay, come on. Of course.
Now, be honest.
Did it turn you off when you saw me poop on the table?
Let's say the poop didn't help, okay?
Oh. That's Shahzad.
Well, they're twins. Yeah.
If you would've told me you had him a week later,
I would've believed you.
I don't know nothin' about this stuff.
You're a damn idiot.
- He's so beautiful. - Yeah.
_
Hey! Mom's home!
- Hey, Mom. - Hey, Mom.
How are you?
Yeah, we're working on the shelves. See?
- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -