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Previously on "You Me Her"...
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I love us.
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Not just the sex, but, like, us.
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I know that you guys feel
this just as much as I do.
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We have careers. We have neighbors.
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We're trying to have
a baby, for God's sake.
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So, you're afraid?
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Of course we're fucking afraid.
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You don't deserve me.
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Do I really have to ask?
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I fucked Andy, and I got to go.
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[Izzy]: I'm gonna go home.
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You are home.
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No, like home home,
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as in Colorado.
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I've been working crazy hours
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on this huge pitch for a fancy new theater
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at the Hamilton School where Jack works.
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- Very well done, Mrs. Trakarsky.
- Thank you.
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It won't be official until
the Alumni Board approves it.
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- The Alumni Board?
- Sor... uh, sorry?
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Weinstock is retiring as dean,
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and he's recommending
me as his replacement.
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The Alumni Board has all your records.
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They meet to discuss on Monday.
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Can they really track my browser history?
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This whole "niece that
fell from the sky" issue
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continues to bother me.
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You find Jacqueline Isabelle's last name
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and any social-networking site
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that proves her and Jack's big sister
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could pick each other out of a line-up,
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let alone share DNA.
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I thought this was supposed to be easy.
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Yeah, whatever happened to click, bang?
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I'm not exactly a Photoshop wizard.
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It's Ava.
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It worked.
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It's about the position.
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We need to have a talk.
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[School bell rings]
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[Andy]: So what about the position?
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Your browsing history made
us all feel sad and dirty.
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No, no, no. That's... I think that's...
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There's a million
reasons for that, I think.
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You know, my, like, my...
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my nephew once was watching, like,
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"Dora the Explorer" on YouTube
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and the next thing you know,
he was actually watching,
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like, a porn that was
called "Dora the Explorer."
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So it's very easy to go
from point A to point B.
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I think there's, like, those pop-up ads
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that they have that just...
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Are you fucking with me right now?
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- I am.
- Oh, my God.
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We need to talk about you
being named dean today.
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Meaning it's happening.
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- Emma's firm won the bid.
- They did?
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She'll probably make partner.
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Oh, my God.
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That... that is great.
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That's... that's unbelievable.
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Get a huge raise.
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Lots of money coming in.
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So...
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So?
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I mean, what... what are you hinting at?
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- Just spit it out.
- Look, look.
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This isn't the first time in the past week
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that you've showed up looking like
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microwaved bison shit, Jack.
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Okay. Can you fast-forward to the part
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where you actually say
what you're thinking?
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I'm thinking about the guy
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that I hired as a counselor 15 years ago.
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I asked you why you wanted the job,
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and you gave me the
best no-bullshit answer
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I've ever heard.
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And... and keep in mind
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that I've faced down thousands
upon thousands of teenagers
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and nobody can bullshit like a teenager.
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Oh, God, Jack.
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I'm so fucking sick of teenagers.
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Can you get to the part...
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what... what did I say in the interview?
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What was the line?
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You said, "All I really want to do
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is help as many kids as I can
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make it safely and sanely
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to the other side of 18."
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I remember that.
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That's not what I do as dean, Jack.
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It's not part of the job description.
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[Sighs] So, what do I do?
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You know what?
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I'm gonna tell you what
not to do instead, okay?
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Don't do anything just because you can.
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Don't do anything you don't love.
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And don't do anything
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because other people think you should.
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Oh, don't do anything
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because you're afraid
to do something else.
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How about that one, huh?
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[School bell rings]
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♪ ♪ ♪
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[Cellphone vibrating]
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[Vibrating continues]
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Mom?
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Hi.
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Frank.
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Frank.
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Have you ever wondered
what if your best and truest
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and happiest life was like
nothing you ever imagined?
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You know, do you ever wonder
if you would have the...
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the balls to live it?
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Not nearly enough.
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The board meets in an hour, Jack.
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What do you want me to tell them?
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I don't know.
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My whole life I've just been living
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a life that other
people wanted me to live,
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you know, with what was expected.
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I've never actually
done what I wanted to do.
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And you're, like... for the first time,
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I feel like I'm awake and
that's thanks to you and...
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[Sighing] Oh, God.
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Fuck if I know what you should tell them.
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[Chuckles]
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I'll rephrase that.
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Yeah, please.
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I don't want to be sitting here,
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like, 25 years from now and leaving
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getting the gold watch and...
and... no offense, by the way.
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I love... your gold watch was really...
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I like that. It looks good on you.
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Yeah. Thank you.
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[Chuckles] Okay.
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Goodbye, Jack.
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Thank you, sir, for everything.
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[School bell rings]
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Sorry about the gold watch thing.
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[Sighs]
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[Cellphone rings]
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[Sighs deeply]
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- Hey, babe.
- We got it.
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We got the theater project.
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That's so great. I can't...
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Tell me all about it. I
just want to hear your voice.
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Well, everyone says I'm gonna get partner.
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Partner! I mean, I thought...
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I thought partners were old.
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Wait, does this mean I'm old
and I just don't realize it?
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I... I'm pretty sure that I've gradually
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made the bathroom lights
so dim that I can just,
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like, vaguely make out a shape of myself.
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[Chuckles]
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Mm, we're having mimosas. Can you tell?
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I wish you could be here.
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I wish you could just come on over.
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Jack?
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Are you okay?
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What if I told you I
can come over right now?
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Well, I'd say hurry.
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All right.
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[Sighs]
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[Nina]: Iz.
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Izzy.
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What time is it?
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Um, I don't know.
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Why don't you ask the phone?
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Oh, shit. It's 10:00.
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Why "shit"?
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Your flight isn't till
like 8:30-something.
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I just feel like there's,
like, a lot to do.
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Like what?
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I don't know.
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Sit up.
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Right now.
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And look at me.
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Why are you crying?
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I don't know.
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'Cause I'm leaving.
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'Cause I'll miss you.
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I just talked to my mom.
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Was it bad?
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It's okay.
187
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She sounded excited, actually.
188
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Sober, as far as I could tell.
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She sounded like my mom.
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Which is never awesome, but,
191
00:08:01,095 --> 00:08:03,297
it's good for her, I guess.
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Did you tell her that you're going home
193
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because it's your turn to be crazy?
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[Laughs]
195
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Because you... I don't know,
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you want to make things
right between the two of you.
197
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Because you...
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I told her that I got my heart broken.
199
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So maybe now I could understand a little.
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[Knock on door]
201
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Who could that be?
202
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How the hell should I know?
203
00:08:29,591 --> 00:08:31,058
Andy... it's... it's Andy.
204
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Andy? Why?
205
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'Cause you're abandoning me,
206
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so I'm gonna be revenge-humping him.
207
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I told you.
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Already.
209
00:08:38,533 --> 00:08:39,867
Yeah, I just... I don't know.
210
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I think it's important that you see it.
211
00:08:41,203 --> 00:08:43,190
Not actually, you can absolutely leave,
212
00:08:43,191 --> 00:08:44,951
but I wanted to make sure that you knew.
213
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You told him I was leaving, didn't you?
214
00:08:55,350 --> 00:08:56,684
Not before I spit in your mouth.
215
00:08:56,685 --> 00:08:57,751
- Don't you dare!
- Open up.
216
00:08:57,752 --> 00:08:59,353
- [Knock on door]
- No.
217
00:08:59,354 --> 00:09:00,554
Hello?
218
00:09:00,555 --> 00:09:01,556
Come on. Open up. Come on.
219
00:09:02,691 --> 00:09:04,024
[Both]: We're coming!
220
00:09:04,025 --> 00:09:05,493
Don't you fucking...
221
00:09:05,494 --> 00:09:07,628
Better not be walking
into some freaky shit...
222
00:09:07,629 --> 00:09:09,897
again.
223
00:09:09,898 --> 00:09:12,166
[Nina]: Andy, let's gangbang her!
224
00:09:12,167 --> 00:09:14,568
I don't know why I said that.
225
00:09:14,569 --> 00:09:16,170
You, uh... you ever think I could, uh,
226
00:09:16,171 --> 00:09:19,307
maybe walk in here once and
just find you girls reading?
227
00:09:20,308 --> 00:09:21,509
[Emma]: To hard work.
228
00:09:21,510 --> 00:09:23,644
[Glasses clink]
229
00:09:23,645 --> 00:09:25,779
[Chuckles]
230
00:09:25,780 --> 00:09:27,781
Madam partner.
231
00:09:27,782 --> 00:09:29,783
I know.
232
00:09:29,784 --> 00:09:33,120
I get an obscene raise and profit sharing.
233
00:09:33,121 --> 00:09:35,389
Meanwhile, you're not
at school. You're here.
234
00:09:35,390 --> 00:09:37,525
Um, apparently, dressed to go to,
235
00:09:37,526 --> 00:09:40,461
like, a fantasy draft or something?
236
00:09:40,462 --> 00:09:41,795
Seriously, what are you doing here?
237
00:09:41,796 --> 00:09:42,863
Are you okay?
238
00:09:42,864 --> 00:09:44,999
- Yes.
- Do you need a drink?
239
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,734
You look like you need a drink.
240
00:09:46,735 --> 00:09:49,204
I declined the position.
241
00:09:51,273 --> 00:09:54,074
Okay.
242
00:09:54,075 --> 00:09:56,144
And then I resigned.
243
00:09:58,747 --> 00:10:00,148
Okay.
244
00:10:02,751 --> 00:10:04,686
And you're not surprised.
245
00:10:07,022 --> 00:10:09,156
No, I'm... I'm not.
246
00:10:09,157 --> 00:10:11,825
[Sighs]
247
00:10:11,826 --> 00:10:13,008
Honey, think about this.
248
00:10:13,009 --> 00:10:15,009
I mean, Hamilton has drug tests, I...
249
00:10:15,163 --> 00:10:15,996
Yeah.
250
00:10:16,097 --> 00:10:17,965
In the week leading up to my board review,
251
00:10:17,966 --> 00:10:21,035
we were, like, you know... like Seth Rogen
252
00:10:21,036 --> 00:10:24,104
and who's the female equivalent
of Seth Rogen pot-wise?
253
00:10:24,105 --> 00:10:27,441
No one 'cause women
don't identify like that.
254
00:10:27,442 --> 00:10:30,511
You just blew my mind.
255
00:10:30,512 --> 00:10:31,845
Was Frank pissed?
256
00:10:31,846 --> 00:10:33,314
No. The opposite, actually.
257
00:10:33,315 --> 00:10:35,716
He's the one who... who led me there.
258
00:10:35,717 --> 00:10:37,184
How? What'd he say?
259
00:10:37,185 --> 00:10:38,652
H... he said, "Don't do anything
260
00:10:38,653 --> 00:10:41,523
just because you're scared
to do something else."
261
00:10:47,927 --> 00:10:50,462
Look, I know I'm being
kind of redundant, but...
262
00:10:50,463 --> 00:10:53,441
I know it's not us, and it's not our life.
263
00:10:53,442 --> 00:10:54,542
It's not who we are, but
264
00:10:54,543 --> 00:10:56,440
maybe... why am I saying "it"?
265
00:10:56,469 --> 00:10:59,271
Because you don't want to say her name.
266
00:10:59,272 --> 00:11:01,006
You think she's okay?
What if she's not okay?
267
00:11:01,007 --> 00:11:03,209
- I... I don't know.
- Are we supposed to just never...
268
00:11:03,248 --> 00:11:04,743
never call her, never talk to her again?
269
00:11:04,744 --> 00:11:07,881
♪ ♪ ♪
270
00:11:11,284 --> 00:11:13,152
So, is this weird for
anyone else or just me?
271
00:11:13,153 --> 00:11:14,887
In what way?
272
00:11:14,888 --> 00:11:16,889
In the way that in a drunken fit
273
00:11:16,890 --> 00:11:20,225
of anger and desperation,
you two had intercourse.
274
00:11:20,226 --> 00:11:22,094
What? No.
275
00:11:22,095 --> 00:11:23,829
Nope. Doesn't ring any bells.
276
00:11:23,830 --> 00:11:25,964
- No?
- I told her.
277
00:11:25,965 --> 00:11:27,433
Oh. O... okay.
278
00:11:27,434 --> 00:11:29,702
Um, now it's weird.
279
00:11:29,703 --> 00:11:31,303
Yeah.
280
00:11:31,304 --> 00:11:33,506
[Ducks quacking]
281
00:11:36,376 --> 00:11:37,843
Look, Andy.
282
00:11:37,844 --> 00:11:39,845
Don't. Don't, don't, don't. Nope. No more.
283
00:11:39,846 --> 00:11:40,779
No, just...
284
00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:41,980
- No.
- Okay.
285
00:11:41,981 --> 00:11:43,849
Don't.
286
00:11:43,850 --> 00:11:46,652
- I'm really sorry.
- [Scoffs] Oh, my...
287
00:11:46,653 --> 00:11:48,253
Don't.
288
00:11:48,254 --> 00:11:50,990
What part of "don't" did
you not understand, please?
289
00:11:54,394 --> 00:11:57,329
I am your fucking thesis, right?
290
00:11:57,330 --> 00:11:59,865
So I'm, like, uh, how to destroy
291
00:11:59,866 --> 00:12:02,000
a healthy, young male in 10 simple steps.
292
00:12:02,001 --> 00:12:02,935
Is that what it is?
293
00:12:02,936 --> 00:12:04,203
No, it's not.
294
00:12:05,338 --> 00:12:07,206
I said I'd never be my mom,
295
00:12:07,207 --> 00:12:10,275
and I just skipped over
getting humiliated by a man
296
00:12:10,276 --> 00:12:14,480
and cut to just the substance abuse.
297
00:12:19,619 --> 00:12:21,887
You know, the same part
of me digs you a lot.
298
00:12:21,888 --> 00:12:24,490
[chuckles]
299
00:12:26,292 --> 00:12:28,094
Same part of you.
300
00:12:30,296 --> 00:12:32,431
What about Jack and Emma?
301
00:12:32,432 --> 00:12:34,433
Which part of you digs them?
302
00:12:34,434 --> 00:12:37,102
Hmm?
303
00:12:37,103 --> 00:12:38,837
I... is that how you're gonna box it up
304
00:12:38,838 --> 00:12:40,172
and send it home?
305
00:12:40,173 --> 00:12:41,640
They were a little elaborate expression
306
00:12:41,641 --> 00:12:44,042
of your child-of-divorce damage,
307
00:12:44,043 --> 00:12:48,046
another symptom of your alleged breakdown?
308
00:12:48,047 --> 00:12:50,048
[Scoffs]
309
00:12:50,049 --> 00:12:51,784
Yeah, well, for what it's worth,
310
00:12:51,785 --> 00:12:54,586
and I know it's not worth much,
311
00:12:54,587 --> 00:12:57,656
but I don't buy it.
312
00:12:57,657 --> 00:13:00,592
♪ I was built on shaky ground ♪
313
00:13:00,593 --> 00:13:04,730
♪ And any day this all could come down ♪
314
00:13:04,731 --> 00:13:06,198
♪ And toe-to-toe... ♪
315
00:13:06,199 --> 00:13:08,333
Oh, apparently, it's Halloween.
316
00:13:08,334 --> 00:13:11,003
Apparently, you're childless.
317
00:13:11,004 --> 00:13:12,738
You are the worst person in the world.
318
00:13:12,739 --> 00:13:14,339
Who is worse than you?
319
00:13:14,340 --> 00:13:15,941
My 13-year-old.
320
00:13:15,942 --> 00:13:19,678
He's going to his first party
instead of trick-or-treating.
321
00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:21,146
I'm gonna be a grandpa.
322
00:13:21,147 --> 00:13:23,015
Sounds like a hell of a party.
323
00:13:23,016 --> 00:13:26,351
Oh, it's a slippery slope.
324
00:13:26,352 --> 00:13:29,021
What are you supposed
to be? Huh? Unemployed?
325
00:13:29,022 --> 00:13:30,355
Actually, yes.
326
00:13:30,356 --> 00:13:31,891
Good call, man.
327
00:13:33,693 --> 00:13:35,027
This morning, I quit my job.
328
00:13:35,028 --> 00:13:37,296
[Chokes] What the fuck?!
329
00:13:37,297 --> 00:13:39,499
I know! It's crazy, right?
330
00:13:41,034 --> 00:13:42,501
What is that look?
331
00:13:42,502 --> 00:13:43,969
I've never seen that look on you before.
332
00:13:43,970 --> 00:13:45,971
I just always thought you were a eunuch.
333
00:13:45,972 --> 00:13:48,907
That's why you couldn't
make babies like a real man.
334
00:13:48,908 --> 00:13:50,909
Dude, you are the worst offic...
335
00:13:50,910 --> 00:13:52,778
I mean I wish you could hear the
stuff that comes out of your mouth
336
00:13:52,779 --> 00:13:54,913
so that you would join the
rest of us at being horrified.
337
00:13:54,914 --> 00:13:56,782
It turns out,
338
00:13:56,783 --> 00:13:59,051
you have a real set of bowling balls
339
00:13:59,052 --> 00:14:00,385
between your legs.
340
00:14:00,386 --> 00:14:01,921
Thank you very much.
341
00:14:03,456 --> 00:14:07,860
I have this... unfamiliar feeling, uh,
342
00:14:07,861 --> 00:14:11,864
something like envy but obviously not
343
00:14:11,865 --> 00:14:14,800
because I make way more money than you
344
00:14:14,801 --> 00:14:16,401
and my wife's a year younger than yours.
345
00:14:16,402 --> 00:14:19,605
So, cl... clearly, that's not possible.
346
00:14:19,606 --> 00:14:20,806
It's not possible.
347
00:14:20,807 --> 00:14:21,874
Okay, well, there's someone else
348
00:14:21,875 --> 00:14:23,475
who actually disagrees with you
349
00:14:23,476 --> 00:14:25,477
about the size of my
testicular circumference.
350
00:14:25,478 --> 00:14:27,413
- Like who?
- Like Izzy.
351
00:14:28,681 --> 00:14:30,816
No. Okay. See, that look I recognize.
352
00:14:30,817 --> 00:14:32,284
That's, like, your disapproving look
353
00:14:32,285 --> 00:14:33,752
'cause I see that all my fucking life.
354
00:14:33,753 --> 00:14:34,686
- Yeah. You deserve it.
- Well...
355
00:14:34,687 --> 00:14:35,754
[Cellphone chimes]
356
00:14:35,755 --> 00:14:36,822
Oh, shit.
357
00:14:36,823 --> 00:14:39,091
Baby doc. Shit, I forgot.
358
00:14:39,092 --> 00:14:40,959
- Jack?
- Yep?
359
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,027
I know.
360
00:14:42,028 --> 00:14:43,362
Believe me, we ended it, okay?
361
00:14:43,363 --> 00:14:45,631
It's over, so don't worry. I got this.
362
00:14:45,632 --> 00:14:46,965
Yeah. Better stay that way.
363
00:14:46,966 --> 00:14:49,302
It's... no problem.
364
00:14:50,703 --> 00:14:51,770
Little fucktard.
365
00:14:51,771 --> 00:14:53,105
I hear that.
366
00:14:53,106 --> 00:14:54,907
I can hear you saying these words.
367
00:14:58,311 --> 00:15:00,045
- Hello.
- [Chuckles]
368
00:15:00,046 --> 00:15:04,316
Do I make you want to kill
yourself with unrequited lust?
369
00:15:04,317 --> 00:15:06,318
I'm going for a body count tonight.
370
00:15:06,319 --> 00:15:07,519
Yeah, you are.
371
00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:08,987
[Chuckles]
372
00:15:08,988 --> 00:15:10,989
I would totally off myself
if you wouldn't fuck me.
373
00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:12,258
I know.
374
00:15:16,195 --> 00:15:18,196
Andy said I'm not crazy.
375
00:15:18,197 --> 00:15:20,065
[Chuckles]
376
00:15:20,066 --> 00:15:21,533
Sweetie, it's been quite a while
377
00:15:21,534 --> 00:15:23,135
since you've made any sense at all.
378
00:15:23,136 --> 00:15:25,137
You're literally senseless.
379
00:15:25,138 --> 00:15:26,939
Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
380
00:15:29,409 --> 00:15:32,011
He made a good point if
you're open to hearing it.
381
00:15:33,146 --> 00:15:36,348
No, baby. He didn't, so I'm not.
382
00:15:36,349 --> 00:15:39,685
He said I really did
fall for Jack and Emma.
383
00:15:39,686 --> 00:15:41,954
It's just easier to accept being insane
384
00:15:41,955 --> 00:15:44,890
than inventing that I let
a suburban married couple
385
00:15:44,891 --> 00:15:47,693
sneak through my defenses
and steal my heart.
386
00:15:47,694 --> 00:15:49,762
Aren't those the exact same things?
387
00:15:51,831 --> 00:15:55,033
Look, Iz. Andy is a really smart boy.
388
00:15:55,034 --> 00:15:58,580
He just came up with a better,
sharper instrument of revenge
389
00:15:58,581 --> 00:16:00,973
than "You're a basket case".
390
00:16:01,535 --> 00:16:04,177
♪ ♪ ♪
391
00:16:06,646 --> 00:16:09,181
Yeah, you're probably right.
392
00:16:09,182 --> 00:16:11,316
[Woman]: Has anything
changed in your sex life
393
00:16:11,317 --> 00:16:12,651
since our last meeting?
394
00:16:12,652 --> 00:16:14,653
- No.
- No.
395
00:16:14,654 --> 00:16:16,388
I mean, we... you mean since my wife said
396
00:16:16,389 --> 00:16:18,523
we had sex 1.5 times a week?
397
00:16:18,524 --> 00:16:20,125
But then I clarified
that we weren't actually
398
00:16:20,126 --> 00:16:21,193
having fractional intercourse
399
00:16:21,194 --> 00:16:22,260
'cause that would be...
400
00:16:22,261 --> 00:16:23,328
- Right.
- ... impossible.
401
00:16:23,329 --> 00:16:24,930
[Chuckling] That was...
402
00:16:24,931 --> 00:16:26,398
Uh, when was that?
403
00:16:26,399 --> 00:16:29,201
10 days ago. So let's
make it even simpler.
404
00:16:29,202 --> 00:16:31,270
How many times have
you had sex since then?
405
00:16:32,538 --> 00:16:34,607
Oh, what, with each other?
406
00:16:35,742 --> 00:16:36,942
[Both laugh]
407
00:16:36,943 --> 00:16:38,944
Stupid question.
408
00:16:38,945 --> 00:16:41,213
She's... that is sex, honey.
409
00:16:41,214 --> 00:16:42,948
[Laughs]
410
00:16:42,949 --> 00:16:45,350
[Sighs] I would say
seven... seven times, right?
411
00:16:45,351 --> 00:16:47,219
Yeah. That sounds... that sounds right.
412
00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:50,022
That's good. That's very good.
413
00:16:50,023 --> 00:16:51,223
- Thank you very much.
- Yeah.
414
00:16:51,224 --> 00:16:52,824
We're very happy about it.
415
00:16:52,825 --> 00:16:55,227
We've been kind of getting
in the groove, you know?
416
00:16:55,228 --> 00:16:56,561
Yeah. I think... I think
417
00:16:56,562 --> 00:16:58,163
we're gonna see some results.
418
00:16:58,164 --> 00:17:00,298
[Woman]: Is this improvement
based entirely on trying
419
00:17:00,299 --> 00:17:02,968
to start a family, or did
you make any other changes
420
00:17:02,969 --> 00:17:05,304
that invigorated your sex life?
421
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:08,840
- Uh, no.
- Honey?
422
00:17:08,841 --> 00:17:10,308
- No.
- No.
423
00:17:10,309 --> 00:17:12,711
No, no. I mean, the same...
424
00:17:12,712 --> 00:17:14,446
Nothing I can... I can think of.
425
00:17:14,447 --> 00:17:16,982
Uh, let's see. No...
426
00:17:16,983 --> 00:17:18,316
- No.
- Nope.
427
00:17:18,317 --> 00:17:22,587
No, same old, uh, just as it was, yeah.
428
00:17:22,588 --> 00:17:24,322
Yeah. I mean, we... yeah.
429
00:17:24,323 --> 00:17:26,992
We pretty much do it, you
know, like everyone else.
430
00:17:26,993 --> 00:17:28,460
Standard.
431
00:17:28,461 --> 00:17:30,729
Just two parts, his and hers.
432
00:17:30,730 --> 00:17:33,932
Penis, vagina, just normal...
433
00:17:33,933 --> 00:17:35,667
She knows how it works.
434
00:17:35,668 --> 00:17:37,269
No, I'm just saying 'cause
I don't want her to think...
435
00:17:37,270 --> 00:17:38,870
It's not anal or anything.
436
00:17:38,871 --> 00:17:40,605
That's, like... that's
weird, and I think...
437
00:17:40,606 --> 00:17:43,141
She won't let me do anal.
438
00:17:43,142 --> 00:17:45,811
Never has.
439
00:17:45,812 --> 00:17:47,546
♪ ♪ ♪
440
00:17:47,547 --> 00:17:51,950
[Man]: ♪ I'm waiting for a sign ♪
441
00:17:51,951 --> 00:17:54,619
[Woman]: ♪ Waiting for direction ♪
442
00:17:54,620 --> 00:17:57,422
♪ I'm ready to build a wall ♪
443
00:17:57,423 --> 00:18:00,492
♪ Behind every step I've taken ♪
444
00:18:00,493 --> 00:18:04,096
♪ So I can't turn back around ♪
445
00:18:04,097 --> 00:18:07,566
♪ And doubt my destination ♪
446
00:18:07,567 --> 00:18:09,701
This party's gonna be crazy.
447
00:18:09,702 --> 00:18:13,305
[Speaking indistinctly]
448
00:18:13,306 --> 00:18:19,578
♪ Can you remind me who I am
when I act like someone else? ♪
449
00:18:19,579 --> 00:18:22,914
♪ And can you help me understand ♪
450
00:18:22,915 --> 00:18:25,984
- [Doorbell rings]
- ♪ Why these cards were dealt? ♪
451
00:18:25,985 --> 00:18:32,390
♪ Can you shatter my mirror
to see outside myself? ♪
452
00:18:32,391 --> 00:18:40,391
♪ And I hope to see it clearer,
the place from where I fell ♪
453
00:18:41,601 --> 00:18:47,339
♪ The place from where I fell ♪
454
00:18:47,340 --> 00:18:55,340
♪ The place from where I fell ♪
455
00:18:55,615 --> 00:19:02,221
♪ Ooh ♪
456
00:19:35,388 --> 00:19:37,656
[Sniffles] Okay, you're dumb.
457
00:19:37,657 --> 00:19:39,458
I hate you.
458
00:19:40,059 --> 00:19:42,194
♪ Can you remind me who I am ♪
459
00:19:42,195 --> 00:19:43,662
Please don't kill anybody.
460
00:19:43,663 --> 00:19:44,729
I love you.
461
00:19:44,730 --> 00:19:46,731
I love you, too.
462
00:19:46,732 --> 00:19:52,737
♪ Can you help me understand
why these cards were dealt? ♪
463
00:19:52,738 --> 00:19:59,544
♪ Can you shatter my mirror
to see outside myself? ♪
464
00:19:59,545 --> 00:20:02,614
♪ And I hope to see it clearer ♪
465
00:20:02,615 --> 00:20:07,953
- ♪ The place from where I fell ♪
- [Andy]: You okay?
466
00:20:07,954 --> 00:20:11,156
Are you okay?
467
00:20:11,157 --> 00:20:13,158
Hey.
468
00:20:13,159 --> 00:20:14,492
Are you okay?
469
00:20:14,493 --> 00:20:16,094
S... sorry. What'd you say?
470
00:20:16,095 --> 00:20:17,829
I asked if you were okay.
471
00:20:17,830 --> 00:20:19,831
Oh, yeah. [Scoffs]
472
00:20:19,832 --> 00:20:21,566
Yeah. No, definitely.
473
00:20:21,567 --> 00:20:23,835
I mean, I'm gonna see her in
a few weeks at Thanksgiving,
474
00:20:23,836 --> 00:20:26,439
I think, so it's, you know, whatever.
475
00:20:29,631 --> 00:20:30,965
Want to do a couple shots?
476
00:20:30,966 --> 00:20:33,501
I don't know.
477
00:20:33,502 --> 00:20:35,770
It's not really a
complicated decision, Nina.
478
00:20:35,771 --> 00:20:37,238
Oh, then, yeah, sure.
479
00:20:37,239 --> 00:20:38,640
Okay.
480
00:20:43,779 --> 00:20:45,112
What are you doing?
481
00:20:45,113 --> 00:20:46,580
I think they have a right to know.
482
00:20:46,581 --> 00:20:48,421
Do y... do you think
they have a right to know?
483
00:20:50,052 --> 00:20:50,985
I don't know.
484
00:20:50,986 --> 00:20:54,789
♪ ♪ ♪
485
00:20:58,860 --> 00:21:01,463
- [Sighs]
- What are you thinking?
486
00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:05,066
I just feel like we should talk to her.
487
00:21:34,363 --> 00:21:36,431
[Cellphone ringing]
488
00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:41,035
I don't know the number.
489
00:21:41,036 --> 00:21:43,104
If it's important,
they'll leave a message.
490
00:21:45,173 --> 00:21:46,774
Get it.
491
00:21:46,775 --> 00:21:48,376
You should get it.
492
00:21:48,377 --> 00:21:50,778
[Clears throat]
493
00:21:50,839 --> 00:21:52,173
Hello?
494
00:21:52,174 --> 00:21:53,708
We think you have a right to know.
495
00:21:54,576 --> 00:21:56,043
Who's we?
496
00:21:56,044 --> 00:21:57,378
Who is it?
497
00:21:57,379 --> 00:21:58,846
I don't know.
498
00:21:58,847 --> 00:22:00,714
Me and Andy.
499
00:22:00,715 --> 00:22:02,850
- Nina?
- Scary Nina?
500
00:22:02,851 --> 00:22:04,985
Yeah, Scary Nina. Izzy's roommate.
501
00:22:04,986 --> 00:22:06,987
What do we have a right
to know? Is she okay?
502
00:22:06,988 --> 00:22:08,322
- Is everything all right?
- I don't know yet.
503
00:22:08,323 --> 00:22:09,657
She's leaving for good.
504
00:22:09,658 --> 00:22:10,991
She, um... she's calling it,
505
00:22:10,992 --> 00:22:12,193
like, some part of her mental breakdown,
506
00:22:12,194 --> 00:22:13,527
but that's bullshit.
507
00:22:13,528 --> 00:22:14,995
She's leaving 'cause of you guys.
508
00:22:14,996 --> 00:22:16,597
Why... why would she be
leaving because of us?
509
00:22:16,598 --> 00:22:17,798
I don't get it.
510
00:22:17,799 --> 00:22:19,533
Because she fell in love with you,
511
00:22:19,534 --> 00:22:22,671
both of you, for real.
512
00:22:24,072 --> 00:22:25,539
What? She left?
513
00:22:25,540 --> 00:22:27,007
- Like, she left town?
- I don't know yet.
514
00:22:27,008 --> 00:22:27,942
Well, can you ask the important questions?
515
00:22:27,943 --> 00:22:29,009
Where is she now?
516
00:22:29,010 --> 00:22:30,060
She's at the airport.
517
00:22:30,461 --> 00:22:32,510
Her flight leaves at 8:35pm,
518
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:33,547
I can't remember her airline,
519
00:22:33,548 --> 00:22:37,685
but for some, um, sad, strange reason,
520
00:22:37,686 --> 00:22:39,820
the departure time is branded on my brain.
521
00:22:39,821 --> 00:22:41,689
Where is she? Where is she?
522
00:22:41,690 --> 00:22:43,824
Okay. So I'm out.
523
00:22:43,825 --> 00:22:45,159
- Okay, thanks.
- Jack, where is she?
524
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:46,371
- I... I...
- Where is she?
525
00:22:46,372 --> 00:22:48,095
- We got to go to the airport.
- The airport?
526
00:22:48,096 --> 00:22:49,030
[Horn honks]
527
00:22:49,361 --> 00:22:51,228
Shit. It keeps going
straight to her voice-mail.
528
00:22:51,229 --> 00:22:52,563
We're almost there.
529
00:22:52,564 --> 00:22:53,898
Just try... try texting or something.
530
00:22:53,899 --> 00:22:55,499
Izzy, it's Emma. Please call us back.
531
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:56,967
We're almost at the airport.
532
00:22:56,968 --> 00:22:58,488
Text her. Don't... I don't think she...
533
00:22:58,611 --> 00:22:59,904
I've texted her. I've texted her.
534
00:22:59,905 --> 00:23:02,306
She's... she's... her phone is off.
535
00:23:02,307 --> 00:23:03,641
Can you go any faster?
536
00:23:03,642 --> 00:23:05,910
♪ ♪ ♪
537
00:23:05,911 --> 00:23:08,846
♪ Left you ♪
538
00:23:08,847 --> 00:23:12,316
♪ In the morning ♪
539
00:23:12,317 --> 00:23:19,123
♪ Before the sunlight
broke across the bed ♪
540
00:23:19,124 --> 00:23:21,525
♪ Left you ♪
541
00:23:21,526 --> 00:23:24,862
♪ Without a warning ♪
542
00:23:24,863 --> 00:23:31,268
♪ Leaving you a history
of broken promises ♪
543
00:23:31,269 --> 00:23:33,671
♪ And I don't know where I'm going... ♪
544
00:23:33,672 --> 00:23:36,607
[Emma]: Have you never seen a
romantic comedy in your entire life?
545
00:23:36,608 --> 00:23:39,009
We aren't going anywhere.
546
00:23:39,010 --> 00:23:41,011
I'm just a little confused.
547
00:23:41,012 --> 00:23:44,882
See, this is what we call the
departure level of the airport.
548
00:23:44,883 --> 00:23:47,284
Going somewhere is the only
reason people come here.
549
00:23:47,285 --> 00:23:49,687
We will take your cheapest ticket
550
00:23:49,688 --> 00:23:51,155
flying anywhere tonight.
551
00:23:51,156 --> 00:23:52,756
Right. What's your cheapest ticket?
552
00:23:52,757 --> 00:23:54,358
Like, that's the shittiest
destination you can think of?
553
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:56,360
Is it still... Cleveland?
554
00:23:56,361 --> 00:23:57,962
We don't fly there.
555
00:23:57,963 --> 00:23:59,563
We're trying to stop
someone from going somewhere.
556
00:23:59,564 --> 00:24:03,300
Ma'am, you don't seem like a terrorist...
557
00:24:03,301 --> 00:24:05,035
Well, thank you. I get that a lot.
558
00:24:05,036 --> 00:24:07,037
... but do you see how I might
find your choice of words
559
00:24:07,038 --> 00:24:08,372
a little troubling?
560
00:24:08,373 --> 00:24:10,241
We just want her to know
she's not going crazy.
561
00:24:10,242 --> 00:24:12,243
Yeah, and we feel the same way.
562
00:24:12,244 --> 00:24:14,579
And that it's up to her. We'll just...
563
00:24:14,966 --> 00:24:17,982
She's a different person,
not her. It's... we have a...
564
00:24:17,983 --> 00:24:20,318
Still feel like this is
too much information, but...
565
00:24:21,319 --> 00:24:27,992
♪ I can't turn this plane around ♪
566
00:24:27,993 --> 00:24:31,996
♪ No, I can't go back ♪
567
00:24:31,997 --> 00:24:37,067
♪ I can't go back now ♪
568
00:24:37,068 --> 00:24:40,538
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
569
00:24:40,539 --> 00:24:42,273
Let's get fucked up.
570
00:24:42,274 --> 00:24:44,275
Okay. For sure.
571
00:24:44,276 --> 00:24:47,077
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
572
00:24:47,078 --> 00:24:48,412
[Sighs]
573
00:24:48,413 --> 00:24:49,613
Ugh.
574
00:24:49,614 --> 00:24:50,548
- Another.
- Yeah?
575
00:24:50,549 --> 00:24:51,882
Yeah.
576
00:24:51,883 --> 00:24:53,217
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
577
00:24:53,218 --> 00:24:54,285
We're all accounted for.
578
00:24:54,286 --> 00:24:56,954
Please. Oh, my God.
579
00:24:56,955 --> 00:24:59,089
Can I help you? Are you on this flight?
580
00:24:59,090 --> 00:25:00,824
Uh, no. Uh, San Francisco.
581
00:25:00,825 --> 00:25:02,830
Do you wish you were going to Denver?
582
00:25:02,831 --> 00:25:05,160
- It... it hasn't left yet?
- We are all full.
583
00:25:05,189 --> 00:25:06,163
What if we wanted to just get a message
584
00:25:06,164 --> 00:25:07,097
to someone on that flight?
585
00:25:07,098 --> 00:25:08,432
- No.
- But just...
586
00:25:08,433 --> 00:25:09,500
No.
587
00:25:09,901 --> 00:25:11,769
Really?
588
00:25:11,770 --> 00:25:12,836
Just a little message?
589
00:25:12,837 --> 00:25:13,771
No.
590
00:25:13,772 --> 00:25:14,838
Are you serious?
591
00:25:14,839 --> 00:25:15,906
- Honey.
- Have a nice day.
592
00:25:15,907 --> 00:25:17,107
Let me handle this.
593
00:25:17,108 --> 00:25:18,042
I'm sorry, she doesn't trav...
594
00:25:18,043 --> 00:25:19,109
- Sir?
- Yep.
595
00:25:19,110 --> 00:25:20,311
Step away from the desk.
596
00:25:20,312 --> 00:25:22,980
She's very mean. I can't, um...
597
00:25:22,981 --> 00:25:24,783
Bye.
598
00:25:33,525 --> 00:25:34,858
[Sighs]
599
00:25:34,859 --> 00:25:36,994
We could go to San Francisco.
600
00:25:36,995 --> 00:25:38,596
Boards in 20.
601
00:25:38,597 --> 00:25:39,503
Sure, why not?
602
00:25:40,804 --> 00:25:42,304
Hey, assholes!
603
00:25:46,204 --> 00:25:47,805
[Both chuckle]
604
00:25:47,806 --> 00:25:50,141
Somebody's following you.
605
00:25:52,611 --> 00:25:55,679
Plugged in my phone, got your 9,000 texts.
606
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:57,014
[Chuckles]
607
00:25:57,015 --> 00:25:59,014
We came after you.
608
00:25:59,015 --> 00:26:00,834
We, like, climbed the trellis.
609
00:26:00,835 --> 00:26:02,219
Sprinted down Broadway.
610
00:26:02,220 --> 00:26:03,821
Right, and we... we
literally raced to the airport
611
00:26:03,822 --> 00:26:06,383
which is, like, the... the rom-comiest
612
00:26:06,384 --> 00:26:08,159
ball of rom-com tropes.
613
00:26:08,343 --> 00:26:09,290
And...
614
00:26:09,291 --> 00:26:10,226
Just to get here.
615
00:26:10,227 --> 00:26:11,574
I don't...
616
00:26:12,053 --> 00:26:13,331
But then what?
617
00:26:15,433 --> 00:26:17,167
We go home.
618
00:26:17,168 --> 00:26:20,504
What?
619
00:26:20,505 --> 00:26:22,906
♪ ♪ ♪
620
00:26:22,907 --> 00:26:28,112
♪ If you want her, let her know ♪
621
00:26:28,113 --> 00:26:33,717
♪ Other lovers cannot go ♪
622
00:26:33,718 --> 00:26:36,721
♪ Well, darling, you can try ♪
623
00:26:40,792 --> 00:26:45,396
♪ Oh, it's over ♪
624
00:26:45,864 --> 00:26:50,068
♪ Girls cry all the time ♪
625
00:26:51,870 --> 00:26:58,076
♪ And it moves like
the water in my mind ♪
626
00:26:58,077 --> 00:27:03,077
subtitle by peritta - corrections by chamallow