1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:02,533 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:00:02,535 --> 00:00:03,814 [sirens blaring] 3 00:00:03,816 --> 00:00:05,536 [breathing heavily] 4 00:00:05,538 --> 00:00:07,458 MAN: Hey, can somebody help me here? 5 00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:09,620 Help him! Help him! 6 00:00:09,622 --> 00:00:11,061 Oh, shit! 7 00:00:11,063 --> 00:00:12,663 [dramatic music] 8 00:00:12,665 --> 00:00:15,466 [multiple voices shouting indistinctly] 9 00:00:15,468 --> 00:00:17,348 ♪ ♪ 10 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:20,831 [shouting continues] 11 00:00:20,833 --> 00:00:22,753 [gunfire, sirens blaring] 12 00:00:22,755 --> 00:00:27,158 [shouting continues, sirens blaring] 13 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,121 ♪ ♪ 14 00:00:30,123 --> 00:00:31,722 MAN: Don't worry. I'm turning-- 15 00:00:31,724 --> 00:00:34,725 [multiple voices shouting indistinctly] 16 00:00:34,727 --> 00:00:38,369 ♪ ♪ 17 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,971 MAN: There's something wrong with the plane! 18 00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:41,773 [airplane engines roaring] 19 00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:44,055 ♪ ♪ 20 00:00:44,057 --> 00:00:45,937 MAN: Man, just got to keep going. 21 00:00:45,939 --> 00:00:47,658 MAN 2: So you're helping the boys on the ground after all. 22 00:00:47,660 --> 00:00:50,301 MAN 3: I hope you die! MAN 4: Got to jump, Yossarian! 23 00:00:50,303 --> 00:00:52,063 YOSSARIAN: No, come back! 24 00:00:52,065 --> 00:00:53,144 MAN 4: I'm right behind you. I've got to get it out... 25 00:00:53,146 --> 00:00:55,148 [screams] 26 00:00:56,830 --> 00:00:59,070 SCHEISSKOPF: You goddamn spastics think I'm gonna let 27 00:00:59,072 --> 00:01:02,994 you prance around here like a Busby Berkeley chorus line, 28 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:05,156 then you've got another think coming to you. 29 00:01:05,158 --> 00:01:08,520 I make you practice marching more than any other squadron 30 00:01:08,522 --> 00:01:09,801 so you'll be better for the Sunday parades, 31 00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:11,122 and what happens? 32 00:01:11,124 --> 00:01:12,203 We look worse. 33 00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:13,204 SCHEISSKOPF: You look worse. 34 00:01:13,206 --> 00:01:14,806 Just meet me halfway. 35 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,768 Don't I always meet you more than halfway? 36 00:01:16,770 --> 00:01:18,772 That may be why we never meet at all. 37 00:01:20,253 --> 00:01:22,494 Is it my fault? 38 00:01:22,496 --> 00:01:25,497 Is any of this my fault? I want to be told. 39 00:01:25,499 --> 00:01:27,979 I won't punish the man who tells me the truth. 40 00:01:27,981 --> 00:01:29,741 I swear. Oh, yes, he will. 41 00:01:29,743 --> 00:01:33,184 I would be thankful to the man who tells me the truth. 42 00:01:33,186 --> 00:01:35,347 Why can you not walk a straight line? 43 00:01:35,349 --> 00:01:37,509 Why can you not turn a 90-degree angle 44 00:01:37,511 --> 00:01:39,191 after 11 weeks? 45 00:01:39,193 --> 00:01:42,754 Why do you not seem to care that we are nine days 46 00:01:42,756 --> 00:01:46,078 from the Inter-Squadron Parade Jamboree? 47 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:49,161 What the fuck are you staring at? 48 00:01:49,163 --> 00:01:53,365 SCHEISSKOPF: How can we finally, finally--I beg you-- 49 00:01:53,367 --> 00:01:56,208 find a way of getting this thing right? 50 00:01:56,210 --> 00:01:57,569 I actually know the answer to this. 51 00:01:57,571 --> 00:01:59,291 No, you don't. Oh, my God, Clevinger. 52 00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:00,572 No, really, I was looking at the parade manual... 53 00:02:00,574 --> 00:02:02,094 Shut up. 54 00:02:02,096 --> 00:02:03,815 About breaking us into smaller groups to start. 55 00:02:03,817 --> 00:02:06,018 You really need to shut up. And the $100 question-- 56 00:02:06,020 --> 00:02:08,660 why is it so hard to restrict the swing of your arms 57 00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:10,943 to a maximum seven-inch lateral pendulum arc 58 00:02:10,945 --> 00:02:13,505 with a maximum four-inch distance from wrist to thigh? 59 00:02:13,507 --> 00:02:15,509 Peele, if you please! 60 00:02:18,152 --> 00:02:19,752 Seven-inch lateral pendulum arc, 61 00:02:19,754 --> 00:02:21,673 four-inch distance wrist to thigh. 62 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:24,276 Thank you, Peele! Yes, sir! 63 00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,280 Why is that so hard? 64 00:02:28,562 --> 00:02:30,242 Why is that so hard? 65 00:02:30,244 --> 00:02:33,325 Seven-inch swing, four-inch gap. 66 00:02:33,327 --> 00:02:35,968 Then we look tight. 67 00:02:35,970 --> 00:02:37,930 Then we look fierce. 68 00:02:37,932 --> 00:02:42,054 Then we stand out from all the goddamn free-swinging arms 69 00:02:42,056 --> 00:02:44,136 that seem to be the goddamn fashion these days. 70 00:02:44,138 --> 00:02:48,100 Then we win the goddamn pennant because your goddamn hands 71 00:02:48,102 --> 00:02:50,142 ought never move more than three and a half inches 72 00:02:50,144 --> 00:02:52,024 in either direction, north or south, 73 00:02:52,026 --> 00:02:53,866 from the center of your thigh! 74 00:02:53,868 --> 00:02:56,188 But apparently we're all a bunch of mongoloids. 75 00:02:56,190 --> 00:02:58,110 He's talking about you, Clevinger. 76 00:02:58,112 --> 00:03:00,114 Reprobates! 77 00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:05,358 And I've been staying up at night. 78 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:08,401 I've been saying to myself... 79 00:03:08,403 --> 00:03:11,884 "How are we gonna win this thing, boys?" 80 00:03:11,886 --> 00:03:14,006 And you know what'd do it? 81 00:03:14,008 --> 00:03:16,209 I got a friend in the sheet-metal shop, 82 00:03:16,211 --> 00:03:18,171 and he'd make me little pegs of nickel alloy, 83 00:03:18,173 --> 00:03:20,693 and I could sink each one of them into your thigh bones 84 00:03:20,695 --> 00:03:22,895 and connect it to your wrists with strands of copper wire 85 00:03:22,897 --> 00:03:24,737 with exactly three and a half inches of play, 86 00:03:24,739 --> 00:03:27,182 because apparently we're all a bunch of pansies! 87 00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:33,266 So I'm asking you, somebody tell me, 88 00:03:33,268 --> 00:03:36,829 what is it that I am doing wrong? 89 00:03:36,831 --> 00:03:38,831 Somebody, anybody tell me, 90 00:03:38,833 --> 00:03:41,875 where have I failed? 91 00:03:41,877 --> 00:03:43,796 No, it's a rhetorical question. 92 00:03:43,798 --> 00:03:46,559 Sir! He-- 93 00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:49,282 Soldier? Jesus Christ. 94 00:03:49,284 --> 00:03:51,244 Well, sir, I've actually been thinking about this. 95 00:03:51,246 --> 00:03:53,807 And, you see, I think it's quite a simple solution. 96 00:03:53,809 --> 00:03:55,368 What's your name, soldier? 97 00:03:55,370 --> 00:03:56,770 Clevinger, sir. 98 00:03:56,772 --> 00:03:59,212 Air Corps Cadet Timothy Clyde Clevinger. 99 00:03:59,214 --> 00:04:01,014 So I was thinking, the problem lies 100 00:04:01,016 --> 00:04:02,656 in the relationship between the synchronization 101 00:04:02,658 --> 00:04:04,217 of the whole unit and synchronization 102 00:04:04,219 --> 00:04:05,779 of the individual lines, you see? 103 00:04:05,781 --> 00:04:07,300 You start small rather than big, 104 00:04:07,302 --> 00:04:09,142 you divide the unit into practice groups, 105 00:04:09,144 --> 00:04:11,104 say six to ten men, well, it's just human nature 106 00:04:11,106 --> 00:04:13,867 to take in information more concretely in smaller groups. 107 00:04:13,869 --> 00:04:15,909 So, sir, I would suggest your error-- 108 00:04:15,911 --> 00:04:17,511 Clevinger, stop fucking talk-- 109 00:04:17,513 --> 00:04:20,554 ♪ [Glenn Miller's "Tuxedo Junction"] 110 00:04:20,556 --> 00:04:22,115 ♪ ♪ 111 00:04:22,117 --> 00:04:24,878 YOSSARIAN: This group small enough for you? 112 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,120 CLEVINGER: I still can't understand it. 113 00:04:27,122 --> 00:04:29,282 What is there to understand? 114 00:04:29,284 --> 00:04:31,164 They hate you. 115 00:04:31,166 --> 00:04:33,246 They hate you before you got here. 116 00:04:33,248 --> 00:04:35,008 They hate you while you're here, 117 00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:37,811 and they're gonna keep on hating you after you leave. 118 00:04:37,813 --> 00:04:40,374 ♪ ♪ 119 00:04:40,376 --> 00:04:41,775 I'm sorry, buddy. 120 00:04:41,777 --> 00:04:45,058 ♪ ♪ 121 00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:48,061 [airplane engines roaring overhead] 122 00:04:48,063 --> 00:04:55,111 ♪ ♪ 123 00:04:58,034 --> 00:05:00,874 MAN OVER RADIO: As the lead bombardier in the squadron, 124 00:05:00,876 --> 00:05:03,477 everyone else is following your cues. 125 00:05:03,479 --> 00:05:07,641 So, with this practice run, set your sighting angle 126 00:05:07,643 --> 00:05:09,003 to 70 degrees. 127 00:05:09,005 --> 00:05:12,326 [airplane engine rumbling] 128 00:05:12,328 --> 00:05:16,412 Now, clutch in, turn your rate and motor switch on. 129 00:05:18,654 --> 00:05:21,175 The rate and motor runs within five RPMs 130 00:05:21,177 --> 00:05:22,737 of the chosen speed. 131 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,378 Here they come, Nately. It's the Red Baron. 132 00:05:24,380 --> 00:05:26,701 Take him down. [mimics gunfire] 133 00:05:26,703 --> 00:05:29,383 MAN: You know what's happening to your rate index? 134 00:05:29,385 --> 00:05:33,547 You're trying to find just one point on that scale. 135 00:05:33,549 --> 00:05:35,269 But watch the indices. 136 00:05:35,271 --> 00:05:37,231 That's the only way you keep track of where you are. 137 00:05:37,233 --> 00:05:38,833 So get in the habit now. 138 00:05:38,835 --> 00:05:44,519 So, you're lined up. What's next? 139 00:05:44,521 --> 00:05:46,080 Open bomb bay doors. 140 00:05:46,082 --> 00:05:47,802 Okay, go ahead. 141 00:05:47,804 --> 00:05:49,363 YOSSARIAN: Opening bomb bay doors. 142 00:05:49,365 --> 00:05:50,805 [wind howling] 143 00:05:50,807 --> 00:05:53,047 [airplane engines roaring] 144 00:05:53,049 --> 00:05:55,009 MAN: Level carefully so you can keep 145 00:05:55,011 --> 00:05:56,491 the vertical reference line. 146 00:05:56,493 --> 00:05:59,974 Every calculation must be precise. 147 00:05:59,976 --> 00:06:02,377 And next? 148 00:06:02,379 --> 00:06:03,778 Bombs away? 149 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,782 Correct. 150 00:06:08,224 --> 00:06:09,264 Bombs away. 151 00:06:09,266 --> 00:06:12,028 [wind howling] 152 00:06:17,154 --> 00:06:20,197 [airplane engines roaring] 153 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,639 [man and woman laughing] 154 00:06:24,641 --> 00:06:25,680 WOMAN: Whoo! 155 00:06:25,682 --> 00:06:27,762 [laughter continues] 156 00:06:27,764 --> 00:06:28,883 [grunts] 157 00:06:28,885 --> 00:06:30,565 [laughing] 158 00:06:30,567 --> 00:06:34,369 Oh, God. Oh, God. 159 00:06:34,371 --> 00:06:36,651 [both laughing] 160 00:06:36,653 --> 00:06:39,174 [both breathing heavily] 161 00:06:39,176 --> 00:06:40,815 YOSSARIAN: You know, I bet I could name two things 162 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,577 to be miserable about for every one you can name 163 00:06:42,579 --> 00:06:43,979 to be thankful for. 164 00:06:43,981 --> 00:06:46,461 MARION: Mmm, be thankful you're healthy. 165 00:06:46,463 --> 00:06:48,343 YOSSARIAN: Be bitter you're not gonna stay that way. 166 00:06:48,345 --> 00:06:49,905 Be glad you're even alive. 167 00:06:49,907 --> 00:06:51,306 YOSSARIAN: Be furious how you're gonna die. 168 00:06:51,308 --> 00:06:53,068 MARION: Things could be much worse. 169 00:06:53,070 --> 00:06:54,950 Yeah, well, things could be one hell of a lot better. 170 00:06:54,952 --> 00:06:56,431 You're naming only one thing. You said you could name two. 171 00:06:56,433 --> 00:06:58,673 Mmm. And don't tell me that God 172 00:06:58,675 --> 00:07:00,075 works in mysterious ways. 173 00:07:00,077 --> 00:07:01,596 There's nothing mysterious about it. 174 00:07:01,598 --> 00:07:02,918 He's not working at all. 175 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:04,960 You know, He's playing. Mm-hmm. 176 00:07:04,962 --> 00:07:06,561 Or else He's forgotten all about us. 177 00:07:06,563 --> 00:07:08,964 He is a brainless, conceited hayseed. 178 00:07:08,966 --> 00:07:10,686 [laughs] I mean, how mu-- 179 00:07:10,688 --> 00:07:12,648 how much reverence can you have for a supreme being 180 00:07:12,650 --> 00:07:15,130 who finds it necessary to rob old people of the power 181 00:07:15,132 --> 00:07:17,493 to control their bowel movements, hmm? 182 00:07:17,495 --> 00:07:18,734 Why the hell did He create pain? 183 00:07:18,736 --> 00:07:20,255 Pain is useful. 184 00:07:20,257 --> 00:07:22,417 Pain is a warning to us of bodily dangers. 185 00:07:22,419 --> 00:07:24,179 And who created the dangers? 186 00:07:24,181 --> 00:07:25,901 Yeah, He was certainly being-- He was certainly being 187 00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:27,703 charitable when He gave us pain. 188 00:07:27,705 --> 00:07:30,466 Why couldn't He have used a-a doorbell to let us know? 189 00:07:30,468 --> 00:07:31,787 [both laughing] 190 00:07:31,789 --> 00:07:34,430 Or one of--Or one of His celestial choirs? 191 00:07:34,432 --> 00:07:36,432 You know, when you think about the chance that He had 192 00:07:36,434 --> 00:07:38,274 to do something good, and then you look at the stupid 193 00:07:38,276 --> 00:07:39,995 ugly mess that He made of it instead, 194 00:07:39,997 --> 00:07:41,677 His incompetence is staggering. 195 00:07:41,679 --> 00:07:43,359 Better be careful what you say about Him, honey. 196 00:07:43,361 --> 00:07:44,640 He might punish you. 197 00:07:44,642 --> 00:07:46,362 Like He doesn't punish me already. 198 00:07:46,364 --> 00:07:47,923 Mm-hmm. 199 00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,645 You know, one day I'm gonna make Him pay. 200 00:07:49,647 --> 00:07:52,928 One day I'm gonna grab that little yokel by His neck. 201 00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:54,970 You're gonna be in so much trouble. 202 00:07:54,972 --> 00:07:57,693 [laughing] 203 00:07:57,695 --> 00:07:59,455 I thought you didn't believe in God. 204 00:07:59,457 --> 00:08:00,976 I don't. 205 00:08:00,978 --> 00:08:03,739 But the God I don't believe in is a good God. 206 00:08:03,741 --> 00:08:07,423 Not the mean and stupid God you make Him out to be. 207 00:08:07,425 --> 00:08:09,185 I'm not making Him out to be anything. 208 00:08:09,187 --> 00:08:11,789 Mm-hmm. I'm just reporting the facts. 209 00:08:14,192 --> 00:08:16,194 [laughs] 210 00:08:20,919 --> 00:08:24,440 ♪ [Jan Garber Orchestra's "Apache Dance" playing] 211 00:08:24,442 --> 00:08:27,443 MAN: [laughs] MAN 2: Take it easy, McWatt. 212 00:08:27,445 --> 00:08:29,565 Get in the goddamn bunk. It's almost lights out. 213 00:08:29,567 --> 00:08:31,207 Hey, what time's the parade drill tomorrow? 214 00:08:31,209 --> 00:08:32,809 0600. DUNBAR: Fuck, great. 215 00:08:32,811 --> 00:08:35,131 Fucking meaningless. They have a meaning. 216 00:08:35,133 --> 00:08:36,973 YOSSARIAN: They're meaningless. That's not true, Yo-Yo. 217 00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:38,374 YOSSARIAN: Tell me one thing 218 00:08:38,376 --> 00:08:39,776 that's not meaningless about parades. 219 00:08:39,778 --> 00:08:41,217 Discipline, chain of command, 220 00:08:41,219 --> 00:08:43,740 working together as a unit, geometry. 221 00:08:43,742 --> 00:08:45,822 DUNBAR: Bullshit, Clevinger. Yo-Yo, you're right. 222 00:08:45,824 --> 00:08:47,183 There ain't one thing he can name. 223 00:08:47,185 --> 00:08:48,705 MAN: Lights out! 224 00:08:48,707 --> 00:08:50,106 Cohesion. 225 00:08:50,108 --> 00:08:51,227 Now you're just repeating yourself. 226 00:08:51,229 --> 00:08:52,348 CLEVINGER: No, I'm not. 227 00:08:52,350 --> 00:08:53,950 No, you're out of your mind. 228 00:08:53,952 --> 00:08:55,391 Parades aren't designed to teach us anything. 229 00:08:55,393 --> 00:08:57,073 They're designed to humiliate us. 230 00:08:57,075 --> 00:08:59,436 They're designed to make us suffer the indignity 231 00:08:59,438 --> 00:09:01,518 of doing something entirely pointless 232 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,319 so that sadistic fuck Scheisskopf 233 00:09:03,321 --> 00:09:04,961 can demonstrate he has power over us, 234 00:09:04,963 --> 00:09:08,525 'cause apparently that's how sadists get their kicks. 235 00:09:08,527 --> 00:09:10,367 The more pointless the activity, 236 00:09:10,369 --> 00:09:12,729 the greater our humiliation, and the more power he feels. 237 00:09:12,731 --> 00:09:15,652 And we can sit here and pretend all we want that there must be 238 00:09:15,654 --> 00:09:17,894 some more noble war-effort-type purpose 239 00:09:17,896 --> 00:09:20,257 to all this walking around in fucking rectangles, 240 00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:22,018 but there isn't one. 241 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:24,781 We do parades so Scheisskopf can feel like a tough guy. 242 00:09:24,783 --> 00:09:26,303 That's what parades are for. 243 00:09:26,305 --> 00:09:28,745 DUNBAR: Yeah, that's what parades are for. 244 00:09:28,747 --> 00:09:30,187 They disgust me. 245 00:09:30,189 --> 00:09:32,671 Make me feel sick in the stomach. 246 00:09:36,555 --> 00:09:39,196 Yeah, me too, buddy. Sick... 247 00:09:39,198 --> 00:09:41,200 in my stomach. 248 00:09:43,722 --> 00:09:45,442 DANEEKA: Feel this? YOSSARIAN: Yeah. 249 00:09:45,444 --> 00:09:47,404 Ah, God, that hurts. DANEEKA: Mmm, how about here? 250 00:09:47,406 --> 00:09:48,886 YOSSARIAN: Ah, yeah. 251 00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:50,447 DANEEKA: And what about when I tap here? 252 00:09:50,449 --> 00:09:52,169 How does that feel? YOSSARIAN: Ooh, rough. 253 00:09:52,171 --> 00:09:54,371 DANEEKA: How does this feel? YOSSARIAN: Mm, it hurts. 254 00:09:54,373 --> 00:09:55,893 DANEEKA: And here? YOSSARIAN: [groans] 255 00:09:55,895 --> 00:09:57,574 DANEEKA: What about this? YOSSARIAN: [groans] 256 00:09:57,576 --> 00:09:59,416 DANEEKA: And how about here? YOSSARIAN: [groans] 257 00:09:59,418 --> 00:10:01,018 DANEEKA: Here? YOSSARIAN: [groans] 258 00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:02,499 DANEEKA: When I tap here? [groans] 259 00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:04,061 DANEEKA: Mm-hmm. 260 00:10:04,063 --> 00:10:05,502 There's nothing wrong with your appendix. 261 00:10:05,504 --> 00:10:07,064 Are you sure? 262 00:10:07,066 --> 00:10:08,305 Next time say it's your liver. 263 00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:09,426 Something wrong with your liver, 264 00:10:09,428 --> 00:10:10,948 I can keep you here for weeks. 265 00:10:10,950 --> 00:10:12,630 There's something wrong with my liver. 266 00:10:12,632 --> 00:10:14,391 Nice try. There's nothing wrong with your liver. 267 00:10:14,393 --> 00:10:17,034 That shows how much you don't know. 268 00:10:17,036 --> 00:10:19,236 So how does a doctor end up here, anyway? 269 00:10:19,238 --> 00:10:21,478 Did you sign up for this shit? 270 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,521 Why aren't you off somewhere doing regular doctoring? 271 00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,282 Believe me, I don't want to be here. 272 00:10:25,284 --> 00:10:27,084 I examined myself pretty thoroughly 273 00:10:27,086 --> 00:10:28,806 and found that I was unfit for service. 274 00:10:28,808 --> 00:10:31,248 Now, you'd think my word would be enough, but, no. 275 00:10:31,250 --> 00:10:33,451 They send some guy from the draft board to look me over. 276 00:10:33,453 --> 00:10:35,413 Starts disputing my Four-F. 277 00:10:35,415 --> 00:10:37,294 You know, John, we live in a-- in an age 278 00:10:37,296 --> 00:10:39,176 of deteriorating spiritual values. 279 00:10:39,178 --> 00:10:42,259 It's really a--it's a terrible thing when--when even the word 280 00:10:42,261 --> 00:10:44,702 of a licensed small-town physician is questioned 281 00:10:44,704 --> 00:10:46,624 by the country he loves. 282 00:10:46,626 --> 00:10:48,666 What's a Four-F? I just told you-- 283 00:10:48,668 --> 00:10:51,269 it's my fitness for military service. 284 00:10:51,271 --> 00:10:52,990 I can't do these goddamn parades, Doc. 285 00:10:52,992 --> 00:10:54,832 They're gonna kill me. Parades never killed anyone. 286 00:10:54,834 --> 00:10:56,514 YOSSARIAN: I bet they have. Not many. 287 00:10:56,516 --> 00:10:58,316 Come on, Doc. DANEEKA: I'll tell you what. 288 00:10:58,318 --> 00:11:01,199 I'll help you out when I know it can do you some good. 289 00:11:01,201 --> 00:11:04,562 In the meantime, choose your battles. 290 00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:06,966 Parades are the least of your worries. 291 00:11:15,095 --> 00:11:17,137 [sighs] 292 00:11:21,141 --> 00:11:23,741 ♪ ["The U.S. Air Force" playing] 293 00:11:23,743 --> 00:11:26,704 [man shouting indistinctly] 294 00:11:26,706 --> 00:11:33,713 ♪ ♪ 295 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:43,601 [man continues shouting] 296 00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:50,611 ♪ ♪ 297 00:11:53,293 --> 00:11:56,615 [man continues shouting] 298 00:11:56,617 --> 00:12:02,302 ♪ ♪ 299 00:12:07,468 --> 00:12:10,469 [militaristic percussion] 300 00:12:10,471 --> 00:12:17,518 ♪ ♪ 301 00:12:26,407 --> 00:12:27,926 Hey. 302 00:12:27,928 --> 00:12:33,814 ♪ ♪ 303 00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,976 [whispering] Clevinger, are you okay? 304 00:12:37,978 --> 00:12:42,661 ♪ ♪ 305 00:12:42,663 --> 00:12:43,983 Hey. 306 00:12:43,985 --> 00:12:46,625 ♪ ♪ 307 00:12:46,627 --> 00:12:48,147 Clevinger. 308 00:12:48,149 --> 00:12:49,508 [people gasp] 309 00:12:49,510 --> 00:12:51,150 PEELE: Stumbling without authority, 310 00:12:51,152 --> 00:12:53,472 breaking formation while in formation, 311 00:12:53,474 --> 00:12:56,075 indiscriminate behavior, mopery, 312 00:12:56,077 --> 00:12:57,436 provoking-- 313 00:12:57,438 --> 00:12:59,158 Do you want me to keep going, sir? 314 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:02,601 And his friend? Uh, that'd be, uh-- 315 00:13:02,603 --> 00:13:04,924 That'd be aiding and abetting all of the above, sir. 316 00:13:04,926 --> 00:13:06,806 As to these charges, how do you plead? 317 00:13:06,808 --> 00:13:08,167 Not guilty. 318 00:13:08,169 --> 00:13:11,450 And what makes you think we care? 319 00:13:11,452 --> 00:13:12,852 You're here because you're trouble 320 00:13:12,854 --> 00:13:14,894 and nobody likes trouble. Do you? 321 00:13:14,896 --> 00:13:17,016 Do I like trouble? You think this is funny? 322 00:13:17,018 --> 00:13:19,018 In 60 days, you're gonna be fighting the Hun, 323 00:13:19,020 --> 00:13:20,780 and you think this is a big, fat joke? 324 00:13:20,782 --> 00:13:22,261 I don't think it's a joke-- Don't interrupt me. 325 00:13:22,263 --> 00:13:23,783 And say "sir" when you do. Yes, sir. 326 00:13:23,785 --> 00:13:24,944 Didn't I just tell you not to interrupt me? 327 00:13:24,946 --> 00:13:26,666 But I didn't interrupt, sir. 328 00:13:26,668 --> 00:13:28,467 Are you mentally retarded, son? 329 00:13:28,469 --> 00:13:30,069 No, sir. I'm just innocent. 330 00:13:30,071 --> 00:13:31,551 I'm innocent until proven guilty. 331 00:13:31,553 --> 00:13:32,712 Says who? Everyone, sir. 332 00:13:32,714 --> 00:13:33,953 The Bill of Rights. Yeah. 333 00:13:33,955 --> 00:13:35,475 The Declaration of Independence. 334 00:13:35,477 --> 00:13:36,916 You believe all that crap? Yes, sir. 335 00:13:36,918 --> 00:13:38,838 I'm a free citizen in a free country-- 336 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,520 You are nothing of the kind. You are a prisoner at my dock. 337 00:13:40,522 --> 00:13:42,281 So you stand here, and you keep your mouth shut! 338 00:13:42,283 --> 00:13:44,285 Yes, sir! 339 00:13:46,087 --> 00:13:47,607 Now, what did you mean 340 00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:50,290 when you said that we couldn't punish you? 341 00:13:50,292 --> 00:13:51,811 When, sir? I'm asking the questions. 342 00:13:51,813 --> 00:13:53,373 You're answering them. CLEVINGER: Yes, sir. 343 00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:54,614 SCHEISSKOPFF: You think we brought you here 344 00:13:54,616 --> 00:13:55,895 so that you could ask me questions 345 00:13:55,897 --> 00:13:57,657 and I would answer them? No, sir. 346 00:13:57,659 --> 00:13:59,259 Then what the hell did you mean when you said 347 00:13:59,261 --> 00:14:00,820 that we could not punish you? I'm sorry, sir. 348 00:14:00,822 --> 00:14:02,422 I never said that you couldn't punish me. 349 00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:04,023 Now you're telling us when you did say it. 350 00:14:04,025 --> 00:14:05,625 I'm asking you to tell us when you didn't say it. 351 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,187 When didn't you say we couldn't punish you? 352 00:14:07,189 --> 00:14:08,708 I always didn't say you couldn't punish me. 353 00:14:08,710 --> 00:14:10,230 That a bare-faced lie! 354 00:14:10,232 --> 00:14:11,951 You whispered that we couldn't punish you 355 00:14:11,953 --> 00:14:13,593 to that dumb son of a bitch standing right there! 356 00:14:13,595 --> 00:14:14,874 Oh, no, sir, I whispered to him 357 00:14:14,876 --> 00:14:15,915 that you couldn't find me guilty. 358 00:14:15,917 --> 00:14:17,317 Well, I must be stupid, 359 00:14:17,319 --> 00:14:18,838 because the distinction escapes me! 360 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:19,960 You're a windy son of a bitch, aren't you? 361 00:14:19,962 --> 00:14:21,441 No, sir. No, sir? 362 00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:22,602 You're calling me a liar now? No, sir. 363 00:14:22,604 --> 00:14:24,124 No, what, sir? No, what-- 364 00:14:24,126 --> 00:14:26,128 No, what? What, sir? 365 00:14:28,770 --> 00:14:31,531 Read me back the last line. "Read me back the last line." 366 00:14:31,533 --> 00:14:33,695 Not my last line. Somebody else's. 367 00:14:35,257 --> 00:14:38,018 "Read me back the last line." That's my last line again. 368 00:14:38,020 --> 00:14:39,900 Oh, no, sir. That's my last line. 369 00:14:39,902 --> 00:14:42,022 I read it to you just a moment ago. 370 00:14:42,024 --> 00:14:43,583 [grunts] 371 00:14:43,585 --> 00:14:46,586 ♪ [Tommy Dorsey's "Song of India"] 372 00:14:46,588 --> 00:14:49,149 ♪ ♪ 373 00:14:49,151 --> 00:14:50,991 [breathing heavily] 374 00:14:50,993 --> 00:14:52,993 I'm sorry, buddy. 375 00:14:52,995 --> 00:14:56,276 ♪ ♪ 376 00:14:56,278 --> 00:14:58,879 MARION: Do you sleep with me because you like me 377 00:14:58,881 --> 00:15:01,361 or because you hate my husband? 378 00:15:01,363 --> 00:15:02,683 [chuckles] 379 00:15:02,685 --> 00:15:05,966 A bit of both. [chuckles] Hmm. 380 00:15:05,968 --> 00:15:08,208 I could ask you the same question. 381 00:15:08,210 --> 00:15:12,573 Mm, you know, I'd say you're not allowed 382 00:15:12,575 --> 00:15:15,175 to hate him so much. 383 00:15:15,177 --> 00:15:17,978 You should leave that to me. 384 00:15:17,980 --> 00:15:19,780 Besides, you're leaving tomorrow. 385 00:15:19,782 --> 00:15:22,024 You'll never have to see him again. 386 00:15:24,467 --> 00:15:26,387 You know why I joined the Air Corp? 387 00:15:26,389 --> 00:15:28,349 Mm-mm. 388 00:15:28,351 --> 00:15:30,431 'Cause I knew that I'd be dragged into this shit 389 00:15:30,433 --> 00:15:32,273 one way or another. 390 00:15:32,275 --> 00:15:34,555 And I knew that bomber crews required more training 391 00:15:34,557 --> 00:15:36,157 than anybody else in the military, 392 00:15:36,159 --> 00:15:39,800 so I just figured war would be over 393 00:15:39,802 --> 00:15:42,083 by the time my training finished. [scoffs] 394 00:15:42,085 --> 00:15:44,325 Well, that was wishful thinking, hon. 395 00:15:44,327 --> 00:15:46,047 Mm. 396 00:15:46,049 --> 00:15:48,851 Yeah, I'm beginning to realize I may have been wrong. 397 00:15:50,493 --> 00:15:53,494 [distant explosions] 398 00:15:53,496 --> 00:15:55,937 [dramatic music] 399 00:15:55,939 --> 00:15:57,979 [airplane engines roaring] 400 00:15:57,981 --> 00:15:59,901 [booming] 401 00:15:59,903 --> 00:16:03,304 [men shouting indistinctly over radio] 402 00:16:03,306 --> 00:16:05,907 ♪ ♪ 403 00:16:05,909 --> 00:16:07,708 All right, time to target? 404 00:16:07,710 --> 00:16:09,831 MAN OVER RADIO: 30 seconds to the run, 30 seconds. 405 00:16:09,833 --> 00:16:11,392 Compression. 406 00:16:11,394 --> 00:16:13,314 MAN OVER RADIO: All right, pay attention, boys. 407 00:16:13,316 --> 00:16:16,357 MAN 2 OVER RADIO: Okay, steady. Hold steady! 408 00:16:16,359 --> 00:16:18,920 Holding steady, three-four-nine. 409 00:16:18,922 --> 00:16:20,962 Three-four-nine at 9,000 feet. 410 00:16:20,964 --> 00:16:22,644 MAN OVER RADIO: Roger that, holding at 9,000. 411 00:16:22,646 --> 00:16:24,165 MAN 2 OVER RADIO: Yossarian, we're approaching. 412 00:16:24,167 --> 00:16:25,647 Are you on a steady heading? 413 00:16:25,649 --> 00:16:28,169 YOSSARIAN: Yes, I'm on a steady heading. 414 00:16:28,171 --> 00:16:29,771 MAN: We're getting hammered back here! 415 00:16:29,773 --> 00:16:31,132 MAN 2: "Yankee Doodle," what's your status? 416 00:16:31,134 --> 00:16:32,854 YOSSARIAN: Opening bomb bay doors. 417 00:16:32,856 --> 00:16:34,215 MAN: Let's go. Open them up. 418 00:16:34,217 --> 00:16:35,777 Open them up! 419 00:16:35,779 --> 00:16:37,899 MAN 2: Hey, McWatt, reading at oh-four-two, 420 00:16:37,901 --> 00:16:39,260 holding at 5,000. 421 00:16:39,262 --> 00:16:41,222 MCWATT: Oh-four-two at 5,000. 422 00:16:41,224 --> 00:16:44,065 MAN OVER RADIO: They're gonna have to get up a little higher. 423 00:16:44,067 --> 00:16:45,947 Let's just hold it steady right there. 424 00:16:45,949 --> 00:16:47,669 [booming] 425 00:16:47,671 --> 00:16:49,991 MAN: How we looking here? We're holding. 426 00:16:49,993 --> 00:16:51,753 MAN: Come on, let's drop them! Just drop them! 427 00:16:51,755 --> 00:16:53,154 Here we go. 428 00:16:53,156 --> 00:16:55,437 MAN: Adjusting for drift, three degrees. 429 00:16:55,439 --> 00:16:57,399 MAN 2: Three degrees, roger that. 430 00:16:57,401 --> 00:16:58,880 MAN 3: On your left! 431 00:16:58,882 --> 00:17:00,402 MAN 4: Oh, it's too strong! 432 00:17:00,404 --> 00:17:01,963 [shouting indistinctly] 433 00:17:01,965 --> 00:17:04,125 MAN 5: How do I know? I can't see anything! 434 00:17:04,127 --> 00:17:06,127 [rattling] 435 00:17:06,129 --> 00:17:08,089 We almost there, Yo-Yo? 436 00:17:08,091 --> 00:17:11,133 Steady. 437 00:17:11,135 --> 00:17:14,096 Closing in on target, fellas. 438 00:17:14,098 --> 00:17:15,497 [gunfire] 439 00:17:15,499 --> 00:17:17,139 Holy fuck! 440 00:17:17,141 --> 00:17:18,820 MAN OVER RADIO: Yo-Yo, come on. Where are they? 441 00:17:18,822 --> 00:17:20,542 Holding steady. 442 00:17:20,544 --> 00:17:22,264 MAN OVER RADIO: Can you hurry the fuck up up there? 443 00:17:22,266 --> 00:17:24,106 We're dying back here! Holding... 444 00:17:24,108 --> 00:17:25,988 MAN OVER RADIO: Come on! And... 445 00:17:25,990 --> 00:17:27,950 MAN: Drop them already, Yo-Yo. MAN 2: Let's go! Drop them! 446 00:17:27,952 --> 00:17:29,952 Bombs away! 447 00:17:29,954 --> 00:17:33,235 [suspenseful music] 448 00:17:33,237 --> 00:17:35,077 MAN: They're away! They're away! 449 00:17:35,079 --> 00:17:37,039 And we're off! YOSSARIAN: All right! 450 00:17:37,041 --> 00:17:38,480 Over to you, McWatt! Get us out of here! 451 00:17:38,482 --> 00:17:40,122 We're done! 452 00:17:40,124 --> 00:17:43,205 MCWATT: All right, getting us out of this shit. 453 00:17:43,207 --> 00:17:44,446 MAN OVER RADIO: We're still getting strikes! 454 00:17:44,448 --> 00:17:45,607 We got to go! 455 00:17:45,609 --> 00:17:47,449 Jesus Christ! 456 00:17:47,451 --> 00:17:48,891 MAN: You all right up there? 457 00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:51,133 McWatt, are you okay? 458 00:17:51,135 --> 00:17:52,614 Fuck. 459 00:17:52,616 --> 00:17:54,737 MAN: We got you, we got you. You're okay. 460 00:17:54,739 --> 00:17:58,220 ♪ ♪ 461 00:17:58,222 --> 00:18:01,343 [groaning] 462 00:18:01,345 --> 00:18:03,666 ♪ ♪ 463 00:18:03,668 --> 00:18:05,347 Christ. 464 00:18:05,349 --> 00:18:07,351 Oh, Christ. 465 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,040 MAN: ♪ A buzzard took a monkey for a ride in the air ♪ 466 00:18:18,042 --> 00:18:20,322 ♪ The monkey thought that everything was on the square ♪ 467 00:18:20,324 --> 00:18:23,205 ♪ The buzzard tried to throw the monkey off of his back ♪ 468 00:18:23,207 --> 00:18:26,649 ♪ The monkey grabbed his neck and said, "Now listen, Jack" ♪ 469 00:18:26,651 --> 00:18:28,611 CHORUS: ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 470 00:18:28,613 --> 00:18:30,012 ♪ ♪ 471 00:18:30,014 --> 00:18:31,774 ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 472 00:18:31,776 --> 00:18:33,175 ♪ ♪ 473 00:18:33,177 --> 00:18:35,538 ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 474 00:18:35,540 --> 00:18:39,302 ♪ Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top ♪ 475 00:18:39,304 --> 00:18:42,225 ♪ Ain't no use in diving ♪ 476 00:18:42,227 --> 00:18:45,308 ♪ What's the use of jiving? ♪ 477 00:18:45,310 --> 00:18:47,910 ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 478 00:18:47,912 --> 00:18:50,753 ♪ Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top ♪ 479 00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:54,277 MAN: ♪ The buzzard told the monkey, "You are choking me ♪ 480 00:18:54,279 --> 00:18:57,200 ♪ Release your hold, and I will set you free" ♪ 481 00:18:57,202 --> 00:18:58,881 ♪ The monkey looked the buzzard ♪ 482 00:18:58,883 --> 00:19:00,603 ♪ Right dead in the eye and said ♪ 483 00:19:00,605 --> 00:19:02,245 ♪ "Your story's so touching ♪ 484 00:19:02,247 --> 00:19:04,367 ♪ But it sounds just like a lie" ♪ 485 00:19:04,369 --> 00:19:07,170 CHORUS: ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 486 00:19:07,172 --> 00:19:10,053 ♪ Straighten up and stay right ♪ 487 00:19:10,055 --> 00:19:12,856 ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 488 00:19:12,858 --> 00:19:15,779 ♪ Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top ♪ 489 00:19:15,781 --> 00:19:22,828 ♪ ♪ 490 00:19:25,390 --> 00:19:26,589 [bell dings] 491 00:19:26,591 --> 00:19:32,475 ♪ ♪ 492 00:19:32,477 --> 00:19:35,759 [indistinct radio chatter] 493 00:19:35,761 --> 00:19:38,802 ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 494 00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:41,885 ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 495 00:19:41,887 --> 00:19:44,768 ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 496 00:19:44,770 --> 00:19:47,411 ♪ Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top ♪ 497 00:19:47,413 --> 00:19:49,252 [airplane engines roaring overhead] 498 00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:51,655 MAN: It is time to support the war effort. 499 00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:53,256 Buy war bonds. 500 00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:55,058 Buy them until we turn back Tojo 501 00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:57,541 and there's a white flag over Japan. 502 00:19:57,543 --> 00:19:59,743 And what's more, keep those bonds. 503 00:19:59,745 --> 00:20:01,785 Hold them for your future. 504 00:20:01,787 --> 00:20:03,347 This is Ed Davey signing off. 505 00:20:03,349 --> 00:20:06,069 CHORUS: ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 506 00:20:06,071 --> 00:20:09,713 ♪ Straighten up and stay right ♪ 507 00:20:09,715 --> 00:20:11,955 ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 508 00:20:11,957 --> 00:20:15,919 ♪ Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top ♪ 509 00:20:15,921 --> 00:20:17,521 ♪ ♪ 510 00:20:17,523 --> 00:20:19,525 ♪ Fly right ♪ 511 00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:26,810 Hey. How'd it go? 512 00:20:26,812 --> 00:20:29,173 Oh, we took some flak. 513 00:20:29,175 --> 00:20:32,096 I bet you did. 514 00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:33,737 Fellas, hi. 515 00:20:33,739 --> 00:20:36,901 This is Mudd. Henry Mudd. He's your new bunkmate. 516 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,462 I think there's been a mistake. 517 00:20:38,464 --> 00:20:40,064 I think there's been a mistake. 518 00:20:40,066 --> 00:20:41,425 I'm fairly certain there's been a mistake. 519 00:20:41,427 --> 00:20:43,908 Well, it says right here he's-- 520 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:47,191 Well, he's bunking down with you and Orr. 521 00:20:47,193 --> 00:20:50,634 Right, well, I'll leave you men to it. 522 00:20:50,636 --> 00:20:52,757 Hey, Milo. MILO: Hi, Reverend! 523 00:20:52,759 --> 00:20:54,118 Yo-Yo. 524 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:56,160 Oh, hi. I'm Milo Minderbinder. 525 00:20:56,162 --> 00:20:58,122 YOSSARIAN: This is Mudd. Henry Mudd. 526 00:20:58,124 --> 00:21:02,326 Well, Henry, you've arrived at precisely the right time. 527 00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:04,168 I'd say there's plenty more where these came from, 528 00:21:04,170 --> 00:21:05,570 but there isn't. 529 00:21:05,572 --> 00:21:07,291 That's how special these two are to me. 530 00:21:07,293 --> 00:21:08,853 Oh. Go on. Take a few. 531 00:21:08,855 --> 00:21:11,618 Now we're talking. MILO: You too, Henry. 532 00:21:15,061 --> 00:21:17,183 Come on, one for later. 533 00:21:19,746 --> 00:21:21,305 Beautiful. 534 00:21:21,307 --> 00:21:23,307 All right, gentlemen, I'm doing the rounds. 535 00:21:23,309 --> 00:21:27,352 If anyone asks, these are going two for a dime. 536 00:21:27,354 --> 00:21:29,796 Good to meet you, Henry Mudd. 537 00:21:35,402 --> 00:21:37,404 You can drop your bags. 538 00:21:52,619 --> 00:21:56,381 Uh, they told me to check in at the administration tent. 539 00:21:56,383 --> 00:21:58,303 YOSSARIAN: Well, that's what you should do, then. 540 00:21:58,305 --> 00:22:00,425 Do you know where it is? 541 00:22:00,427 --> 00:22:02,267 Well, you follow this path up here, 542 00:22:02,269 --> 00:22:04,069 and when you hit the latrines, you take a left, 543 00:22:04,071 --> 00:22:06,671 and the Administrations is the second tent on the right. 544 00:22:06,673 --> 00:22:08,753 Thanks. 545 00:22:08,755 --> 00:22:10,555 I'll be right back. 546 00:22:10,557 --> 00:22:12,559 Yeah. 547 00:22:18,085 --> 00:22:21,849 Great. That's fucking great. 548 00:22:25,172 --> 00:22:28,053 Oh, fuck. Third tent! 549 00:22:28,055 --> 00:22:30,658 It's the third tent on the right! 550 00:22:36,103 --> 00:22:37,663 [groans] 551 00:22:37,665 --> 00:22:40,708 [indistinct chatter] 552 00:22:56,444 --> 00:22:58,484 KORN: All right, I want you to pay particular attention 553 00:22:58,486 --> 00:23:00,165 to this right here. 554 00:23:00,167 --> 00:23:02,448 The heaviest flak is supported right here and here. 555 00:23:02,450 --> 00:23:05,250 Yes? MUDD: Sir, I'm here to report-- 556 00:23:05,252 --> 00:23:07,293 Are you the gunner? MUDD: I'm a gunner, yes, sir. 557 00:23:07,295 --> 00:23:08,934 Crosby, your tail gunner's here! 558 00:23:08,936 --> 00:23:10,856 Hurry up, then! We're going up in four minutes! 559 00:23:10,858 --> 00:23:13,579 Now, this has been cleared last week as another squadron-- 560 00:23:13,581 --> 00:23:16,302 Uh, sir, I'm a side gunner, not a--I don't-- 561 00:23:16,304 --> 00:23:18,466 Go, go, go! Yes, sir. 562 00:23:24,312 --> 00:23:27,713 [jazz music] 563 00:23:27,715 --> 00:23:34,722 ♪ ♪ 564 00:24:24,453 --> 00:24:26,132 YOSSARIAN: What? DUNBAR: Knife? 565 00:24:26,134 --> 00:24:27,814 YOSSARIAN: I'm not your mother, Dunbar, but here. 566 00:24:27,816 --> 00:24:30,539 [indistinct chatter] 567 00:24:43,071 --> 00:24:45,272 What's your name? 568 00:24:45,274 --> 00:24:47,594 Major. 569 00:24:47,596 --> 00:24:50,797 You're not a major. No, no. That's my name. 570 00:24:50,799 --> 00:24:52,839 Well, I'm not calling you Major. 571 00:24:52,841 --> 00:24:55,322 What's your Christian name? Major. It--it's Major. 572 00:24:55,324 --> 00:24:56,763 No, your--your Christian name. 573 00:24:56,765 --> 00:24:58,485 He means what's your first name. 574 00:24:58,487 --> 00:25:00,847 That's what I'm saying. My first name is Major, too. 575 00:25:00,849 --> 00:25:04,131 You're kidding me. [laughs] You serious? 576 00:25:04,133 --> 00:25:05,772 It's a funny story. 577 00:25:05,774 --> 00:25:07,574 My--my mother was rather exhausted from giving birth 578 00:25:07,576 --> 00:25:09,216 to me-- she had lost a lot of blood. 579 00:25:09,218 --> 00:25:11,778 Uh, my father filled in the forms. 580 00:25:11,780 --> 00:25:14,381 And he calls you Major? It's my middle name, too. 581 00:25:14,383 --> 00:25:15,863 DUNBAR: Let me get this right. 582 00:25:15,865 --> 00:25:19,186 Your father named you Major Major Major? 583 00:25:19,188 --> 00:25:21,388 He came back into the ward, and he said to my mother, 584 00:25:21,390 --> 00:25:23,350 "I've named him Caleb in accordance with your wishes." 585 00:25:23,352 --> 00:25:26,193 But--but he was lying. [laughs] 586 00:25:26,195 --> 00:25:28,275 You're Sergeant Major Major Major? 587 00:25:28,277 --> 00:25:30,758 Uh, yeah. I've--I've made peace with it. 588 00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:32,720 Tell me this. Have you had a tough life? 589 00:25:32,722 --> 00:25:34,641 [laughs] 590 00:25:34,643 --> 00:25:37,044 You can call me Caleb. Even just Cal would be okay. 591 00:25:37,046 --> 00:25:38,485 DUNBAR: Hey, fellas! 592 00:25:38,487 --> 00:25:42,209 This guy's name is Major Major Major. 593 00:25:42,211 --> 00:25:45,214 [laughter] 594 00:25:49,579 --> 00:25:52,582 [indistinct chatter] 595 00:25:54,423 --> 00:25:57,867 Sir. [chatter fades] 596 00:26:07,236 --> 00:26:09,279 [liquid sloshing] 597 00:26:12,602 --> 00:26:15,403 What is this nonsense? It's meat, sir... 598 00:26:15,405 --> 00:26:18,406 and vegetables, I think. 599 00:26:18,408 --> 00:26:21,169 God, abominable. 600 00:26:21,171 --> 00:26:24,252 I will have sardines on toast in my tent. 601 00:26:24,254 --> 00:26:26,256 Of course, sir. 602 00:26:27,977 --> 00:26:30,098 ORR: Did you hear about that plane this afternoon? 603 00:26:30,100 --> 00:26:31,619 YOSSARIAN: What plane? 604 00:26:31,621 --> 00:26:34,222 That plane went down that the kid was on. 605 00:26:34,224 --> 00:26:36,664 What kid? Mudd. 606 00:26:36,666 --> 00:26:39,909 Who's Mudd? The kid from our tent. 607 00:26:42,152 --> 00:26:43,431 Oh, shit. 608 00:26:43,433 --> 00:26:44,832 He didn't even unpack his kit. 609 00:26:44,834 --> 00:26:47,275 [dramatic music] 610 00:26:47,277 --> 00:26:50,158 He went down? He's gone. 611 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:51,639 Done and dusted. 612 00:26:51,641 --> 00:26:56,044 ♪ ♪ 613 00:26:56,046 --> 00:26:57,525 Poor guy. 614 00:26:57,527 --> 00:27:04,534 ♪ ♪ 615 00:27:24,955 --> 00:27:27,956 [laughter] 616 00:27:27,958 --> 00:27:30,719 ♪ ♪ 617 00:27:30,721 --> 00:27:32,200 [laughter] 618 00:27:32,202 --> 00:27:33,562 Oh! [whoosh] 619 00:27:33,564 --> 00:27:34,923 [all shouting] 620 00:27:34,925 --> 00:27:37,526 MAN: Oh, fuck! There goes the hot water. 621 00:27:37,528 --> 00:27:38,847 MAN 2: Oh! 622 00:27:38,849 --> 00:27:40,729 ♪ ♪ 623 00:27:40,731 --> 00:27:43,772 Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, it's, uh--it's a type of oil valve. 624 00:27:43,774 --> 00:27:45,814 I actually know how to modify that. 625 00:27:45,816 --> 00:27:48,817 ♪ ♪ 626 00:27:48,819 --> 00:27:51,860 [indistinct chatter] 627 00:27:51,862 --> 00:27:58,389 ♪ ♪ 628 00:27:59,750 --> 00:28:02,551 I'm not sure I can take this shit. 629 00:28:02,553 --> 00:28:06,075 DUNBAR: A little cold water never hurt nobody, Yo-Yo. 630 00:28:06,077 --> 00:28:07,796 No, I can't fly more missions. 631 00:28:07,798 --> 00:28:09,558 CLEVINGER: We're winning this thing, Yossarian. 632 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,400 You've already flown 16 missions. 633 00:28:11,402 --> 00:28:13,042 25 and we can go home. 634 00:28:13,044 --> 00:28:15,044 Yeah, I can't do nine more. 635 00:28:15,046 --> 00:28:16,645 NATELY: Well, we're winning this war. 636 00:28:16,647 --> 00:28:18,167 That's what they say, anyways. 637 00:28:18,169 --> 00:28:20,049 You know, Rome is about to fall, 638 00:28:20,051 --> 00:28:21,570 and the Germans are toast. 639 00:28:21,572 --> 00:28:23,172 The Germans are toast. Exactly. 640 00:28:23,174 --> 00:28:25,494 No more planes. Ground troops only. 641 00:28:25,496 --> 00:28:27,136 And they're all retreating. 642 00:28:27,138 --> 00:28:28,978 So why the hell are we still flying missions? 643 00:28:28,980 --> 00:28:30,499 'Cause we got to-- we got to polish them off. 644 00:28:30,501 --> 00:28:32,341 YOSSARIAN: Well, you can polish them off. 645 00:28:32,343 --> 00:28:35,426 I don't want to be the one who dies showing them the door. 646 00:28:50,081 --> 00:28:51,400 YOSSARIAN: There's something wrong with my liver. 647 00:28:51,402 --> 00:28:52,802 DUCKETT: What's wrong with it? 648 00:28:52,804 --> 00:28:54,363 Well, it hurts. Where does it hurt? 649 00:28:54,365 --> 00:28:55,685 In my liver. Will you show me exactly? 650 00:28:55,687 --> 00:28:57,689 Uh... 651 00:28:58,690 --> 00:29:00,852 That's not your liver. YOSSARIAN: Are you sure? 652 00:29:03,495 --> 00:29:05,334 Well, well, well... 653 00:29:05,336 --> 00:29:07,216 YOSSARIAN: Doc! Let me guess. 654 00:29:07,218 --> 00:29:08,778 Liver? 655 00:29:08,780 --> 00:29:10,580 Thank you, Sue Anne. 656 00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:11,901 Do I need to call the priest? What are you doing here? 657 00:29:11,903 --> 00:29:13,423 I asked myself the same question. 658 00:29:13,425 --> 00:29:15,265 I go where they tell me to go. 659 00:29:15,267 --> 00:29:17,627 So... 660 00:29:17,629 --> 00:29:19,028 are you actually sick this time? 661 00:29:19,030 --> 00:29:20,590 I feel sick. Yeah, but are you sick? 662 00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:21,711 I honestly feel sick. So do I. 663 00:29:21,713 --> 00:29:23,513 But that doesn't mean I am. 664 00:29:23,515 --> 00:29:26,676 Look, I've flown 16 missions. The mission quota's 25. 665 00:29:26,678 --> 00:29:29,199 I have nine left to fly. They're entirely pointless. 666 00:29:29,201 --> 00:29:31,241 I mean, the Germans are on the run, right? 667 00:29:31,243 --> 00:29:33,443 So I figure I just wait it out in here, 668 00:29:33,445 --> 00:29:35,285 if that's okay with you. 669 00:29:35,287 --> 00:29:37,407 So the Germans fold, and then what do you think happens? 670 00:29:37,409 --> 00:29:39,369 Then I go home. 671 00:29:39,371 --> 00:29:41,251 You do realize we're fighting a war in the Pacific right now? 672 00:29:41,253 --> 00:29:43,213 And as soon as Europe is done, if you haven't already been 673 00:29:43,215 --> 00:29:44,934 formally discharged, they're gonna ship you 674 00:29:44,936 --> 00:29:48,498 straight out there, and you do not want to go there. 675 00:29:48,500 --> 00:29:50,300 They got malaria there. Yeah. 676 00:29:50,302 --> 00:29:52,062 They got fungus. They got two kinds of fungus. 677 00:29:52,064 --> 00:29:54,704 They got a fungus that gets in your brain and eats it. 678 00:29:54,706 --> 00:29:56,506 They got parasites. They got leeches. 679 00:29:56,508 --> 00:29:59,311 I'd fly your nine missions, if I was you. 680 00:30:03,355 --> 00:30:06,396 ♪ [Johnny Hodges' "Good Queen Bess"] 681 00:30:06,398 --> 00:30:13,445 ♪ ♪ 682 00:30:15,487 --> 00:30:18,530 [indistinct chatter] 683 00:30:22,214 --> 00:30:29,261 ♪ ♪ 684 00:30:30,262 --> 00:30:33,784 Hello, sir? [knocks on door] 685 00:30:33,786 --> 00:30:35,185 Major de Coverley, sir? 686 00:30:35,187 --> 00:30:38,591 [metallic clanking] 687 00:30:41,073 --> 00:30:44,795 [Jeep engines revving] 688 00:30:44,797 --> 00:30:47,838 [classical music playing] 689 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:54,847 ♪ ♪ 690 00:30:58,411 --> 00:31:00,331 [horseshoe clinks] 691 00:31:00,333 --> 00:31:03,494 ♪ ♪ 692 00:31:03,496 --> 00:31:05,055 Hello, sir. 693 00:31:05,057 --> 00:31:07,098 ♪ ♪ 694 00:31:07,100 --> 00:31:08,779 Sorry to interrupt, sir. 695 00:31:08,781 --> 00:31:11,702 But I think you're gonna want to see this. 696 00:31:11,704 --> 00:31:17,788 ♪ ♪ 697 00:31:17,790 --> 00:31:20,791 What? Where'd you get these? 698 00:31:20,793 --> 00:31:23,554 From the highlands of Scotland, sir. 699 00:31:23,556 --> 00:31:25,556 ♪ ♪ 700 00:31:25,558 --> 00:31:27,438 Is that so? Yes, sir. 701 00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:29,240 These are highland lamb chops. 702 00:31:29,242 --> 00:31:34,205 ♪ ♪ 703 00:31:34,207 --> 00:31:37,048 These lambs--oh, they're fed on the richest, 704 00:31:37,050 --> 00:31:39,690 greenest clover in all of Great Britain all day long. 705 00:31:39,692 --> 00:31:42,453 I have a friend at the RAF base in Donibristle 706 00:31:42,455 --> 00:31:44,495 who manages to clear a little space for an icebox 707 00:31:44,497 --> 00:31:45,937 on one of the courier planes. 708 00:31:45,939 --> 00:31:47,979 I could have these for you every week, sir. 709 00:31:47,981 --> 00:31:49,580 Donibristle. 710 00:31:49,582 --> 00:31:52,824 Sunday lamb chops, we could call them. 711 00:31:52,826 --> 00:31:54,586 Walk with me. 712 00:31:54,588 --> 00:31:56,908 ♪ ♪ 713 00:31:56,910 --> 00:31:59,030 MILO: They're not the easiest things to come by. 714 00:31:59,032 --> 00:32:00,832 If our friend in Scotland is sending us a steady supply 715 00:32:00,834 --> 00:32:02,433 of lamb chops-- Okay. 716 00:32:02,435 --> 00:32:04,275 Give me another one of these. Of course, sir. 717 00:32:04,277 --> 00:32:05,917 If our friend in Scotland is sending us a steady supply 718 00:32:05,919 --> 00:32:07,398 of lamb chops, 719 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:08,880 I really should be giving him something in return. 720 00:32:08,882 --> 00:32:10,962 Now, don't get me wrong. He's a lovely man. 721 00:32:10,964 --> 00:32:12,804 But the lamb chop situation-- 722 00:32:12,806 --> 00:32:15,847 [airplane engines roaring overhead] 723 00:32:15,849 --> 00:32:18,650 As we all know, sir, ours is a mercantile world. 724 00:32:18,652 --> 00:32:20,171 It's a world of give and take. 725 00:32:20,173 --> 00:32:21,853 Our friend in Scotland, for instance, 726 00:32:21,855 --> 00:32:24,496 has a fondness for Sicilian olives, which I can get. 727 00:32:24,498 --> 00:32:26,818 Now, if I was Mess Officer, I'd have control 728 00:32:26,820 --> 00:32:28,580 of the flight manifests of the cargo planes-- 729 00:32:28,582 --> 00:32:30,061 the outgoings, the incomings, 730 00:32:30,063 --> 00:32:31,943 and so on and so forth. 731 00:32:31,945 --> 00:32:33,905 Our friend in Scotland would be happy in the northern mists 732 00:32:33,907 --> 00:32:35,307 with his olives. 733 00:32:35,309 --> 00:32:37,349 You'd be happy with your lamb chops. 734 00:32:37,351 --> 00:32:40,232 I could devote my full attention to such matters, 735 00:32:40,234 --> 00:32:42,434 and it's not just Donibristle we're talking about. 736 00:32:42,436 --> 00:32:45,197 Do you like strudel, sir? 737 00:32:45,199 --> 00:32:47,079 Everybody likes strudel, son. 738 00:32:47,081 --> 00:32:48,720 That's exactly right, sir. 739 00:32:48,722 --> 00:32:51,163 And when was the last time you had strudel, sir? 740 00:32:51,165 --> 00:32:52,764 Not recently. Me neither. 741 00:32:52,766 --> 00:32:54,086 I miss it. I miss it, too. 742 00:32:54,088 --> 00:32:55,247 As do I. Me too. 743 00:32:55,249 --> 00:32:56,648 Well, it needn't be this way. 744 00:32:56,650 --> 00:32:58,650 We shouldn't have to miss strudel, sir. 745 00:32:58,652 --> 00:33:01,533 If I was Mess Officer, I could fix it. 746 00:33:01,535 --> 00:33:03,175 What's your name, son? 747 00:33:03,177 --> 00:33:06,498 I'm Milo Minderbinder, sir. I'm 27 years old. 748 00:33:06,500 --> 00:33:09,541 ♪ [Benny Goodman's "Sing, Sing, Sing"] 749 00:33:09,543 --> 00:33:16,590 ♪ ♪ 750 00:33:27,842 --> 00:33:32,565 [engines rumbling] 751 00:33:32,567 --> 00:33:39,614 ♪ ♪ 752 00:33:54,028 --> 00:33:55,988 MAN OVER RADIO: Clear sailing today, fellas. 753 00:33:55,990 --> 00:33:57,790 MAN 2 OVER RADIO: Like a day in the country. 754 00:33:57,792 --> 00:33:59,512 Clear skies up ahead. 755 00:33:59,514 --> 00:34:01,194 Beautiful day for a milk run, boys. 756 00:34:01,196 --> 00:34:03,276 MAN OVER RADIO: Blue skies. Cloud nine. 757 00:34:03,278 --> 00:34:04,957 Holding steady at two-four-eight. 758 00:34:04,959 --> 00:34:08,281 Two-four-eight, 70,200. 759 00:34:08,283 --> 00:34:10,042 MAN: Got to be on top of it. Where we at? 760 00:34:10,044 --> 00:34:13,166 MAN 2: Closing in on target. 30 seconds to run. 761 00:34:13,168 --> 00:34:14,367 MAN 3: Copy that. 30 seconds. 762 00:34:14,369 --> 00:34:16,249 MAN 4: Yo-Yo, you ready? 763 00:34:16,251 --> 00:34:19,172 MAN 5: Yo-Yo, drop them, and let's get the fuck out of here. 764 00:34:19,174 --> 00:34:21,014 YOSSARIAN: Holding steady. 765 00:34:21,016 --> 00:34:22,455 MAN: Oh, shit! [gunfire] 766 00:34:22,457 --> 00:34:24,017 Oh, hold on! We got it! Hold on! 767 00:34:24,019 --> 00:34:26,019 [man shouts indistinctly over radio] 768 00:34:26,021 --> 00:34:27,860 MAN: Look out! Will you hurry the fuck up? 769 00:34:27,862 --> 00:34:29,302 Jesus Christ. 770 00:34:29,304 --> 00:34:31,064 Shit. Not a milk run anymore, fellas. 771 00:34:31,066 --> 00:34:32,665 Here we go again. Hold steady. 772 00:34:32,667 --> 00:34:34,227 MAN: Harvey, where we at? 773 00:34:34,229 --> 00:34:36,910 HARVEY: Hey, McWatt, bring her to 066. 774 00:34:36,912 --> 00:34:38,071 MCWATT: Roger that. 775 00:34:38,073 --> 00:34:39,873 HARVEY: Steady! Steady! 776 00:34:39,875 --> 00:34:41,514 All right, boys, we're approaching. 777 00:34:41,516 --> 00:34:44,117 Yossarian, what's your heading? 778 00:34:44,119 --> 00:34:46,559 Hey, Yossarian, you got to get above me. 779 00:34:46,561 --> 00:34:49,604 [gunfire, bullets ricocheting] 780 00:34:53,769 --> 00:34:55,328 Hey, Yossarian, you hear me? 781 00:34:55,330 --> 00:34:58,732 Yo-Yo, what the fuck is going on down there? 782 00:34:58,734 --> 00:35:00,894 Yossarian. 783 00:35:00,896 --> 00:35:02,936 Oh! HARVEY: Holy shit! 784 00:35:02,938 --> 00:35:04,337 What the fuck was that? 785 00:35:04,339 --> 00:35:06,580 [screaming] 786 00:35:06,582 --> 00:35:08,862 [suspenseful music] 787 00:35:08,864 --> 00:35:11,585 Oh! MAN: Holy fuck! 788 00:35:11,587 --> 00:35:12,906 HARVEY: What happened to Dunbar? 789 00:35:12,908 --> 00:35:14,388 MAN: Was he wearing his chute? 790 00:35:14,390 --> 00:35:18,151 [groaning loudly] 791 00:35:18,153 --> 00:35:19,353 HARVEY: We're getting close! 792 00:35:19,355 --> 00:35:21,715 MAN: Hold steady. Seven-six. 793 00:35:21,717 --> 00:35:23,437 Uh... MAN: Here I go! 794 00:35:23,439 --> 00:35:25,198 Okay. [groans] 795 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:26,480 HARVEY: You there, Yo-Yo? 796 00:35:26,482 --> 00:35:27,721 MAN 2: Steady! Hold steady! 797 00:35:27,723 --> 00:35:29,283 HARVEY: Drop them, Yo-Yo. 798 00:35:29,285 --> 00:35:31,124 Go, goddamn it! Nately, we're holding! 799 00:35:31,126 --> 00:35:32,646 Shut up! 800 00:35:32,648 --> 00:35:34,368 Yossarian, we're approaching. You got that? 801 00:35:34,370 --> 00:35:35,809 I got it, I got it! 802 00:35:35,811 --> 00:35:37,651 MAN: Ten seconds. 803 00:35:37,653 --> 00:35:39,413 YOSSARIAN: Steady. 804 00:35:39,415 --> 00:35:40,894 MAN: Oh, shit! 805 00:35:40,896 --> 00:35:41,975 And... 806 00:35:41,977 --> 00:35:43,016 MAN: Drop them! 807 00:35:43,018 --> 00:35:44,418 Okay, bombs away! 808 00:35:44,420 --> 00:35:47,301 Okay, uh, McWatt, get us out of here! 809 00:35:47,303 --> 00:35:50,264 Get us the goddamn fuck out of here! 810 00:35:50,266 --> 00:35:52,626 Oh, shit! 811 00:35:52,628 --> 00:35:54,788 Oh, fuck! 812 00:35:54,790 --> 00:35:57,791 [dramatic music] 813 00:35:57,793 --> 00:36:04,840 ♪ ♪ 814 00:36:13,529 --> 00:36:15,850 His face... 815 00:36:15,852 --> 00:36:19,053 it was right there. 816 00:36:19,055 --> 00:36:22,056 And it was one of those moments when... 817 00:36:22,058 --> 00:36:24,538 you know... 818 00:36:24,540 --> 00:36:26,901 It couldn't have been more than half a second--less than that. 819 00:36:26,903 --> 00:36:28,905 But he was... 820 00:36:30,346 --> 00:36:32,468 I can see everything. 821 00:36:33,630 --> 00:36:37,193 Every hair in his nostril, that crooked tooth. 822 00:36:38,595 --> 00:36:40,354 And his eyes... 823 00:36:40,356 --> 00:36:43,798 there was no life flashing before them or any of that. 824 00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:45,802 It's just terror. 825 00:36:47,243 --> 00:36:49,245 That's all it was. 826 00:36:51,167 --> 00:36:53,169 Shit. 827 00:36:54,611 --> 00:36:56,733 Yo-Yo, that ain't right. 828 00:37:20,997 --> 00:37:22,317 Gentlemen. [indistinct chatter] 829 00:37:22,319 --> 00:37:24,919 Gentlemen! [chatter continues] 830 00:37:24,921 --> 00:37:26,964 Gentlemen! 831 00:37:28,845 --> 00:37:30,887 Gentlemen! 832 00:37:34,851 --> 00:37:37,372 What's gotten into you fellas today, huh? 833 00:37:37,374 --> 00:37:38,894 [chatter continues] 834 00:37:38,896 --> 00:37:41,897 [chuckles] Come on, guys! 835 00:37:41,899 --> 00:37:43,418 Because-- 836 00:37:43,420 --> 00:37:44,579 [gunshot] 837 00:37:44,581 --> 00:37:46,583 [chatter stops] 838 00:37:54,511 --> 00:37:57,112 What is this, ladies' night out? 839 00:37:57,114 --> 00:37:58,553 Hmm? 840 00:37:58,555 --> 00:38:00,155 Is this ladies' night out, by any chance, 841 00:38:00,157 --> 00:38:03,200 Lieutenant Colonel Korn? No, sir, it is not. 842 00:38:04,481 --> 00:38:06,483 Are you ladies settled? 843 00:38:09,246 --> 00:38:11,328 All right, then. 844 00:38:12,650 --> 00:38:14,810 I'm Colonel Cathcart, and as of now, 845 00:38:14,812 --> 00:38:19,016 I'm in charge of you sorry-ass bunch of homosexuals. 846 00:38:20,938 --> 00:38:25,381 Now, I understand that you were very fond of Colonel Copeland. 847 00:38:25,383 --> 00:38:27,983 Well, guess what. Boo-hoo. I know Jerry Copeland. 848 00:38:27,985 --> 00:38:29,465 He's an outstanding commander, 849 00:38:29,467 --> 00:38:31,066 and he is an upstanding American. 850 00:38:31,068 --> 00:38:32,708 And guess what. 851 00:38:32,710 --> 00:38:34,910 Nothing changes, gentlemen. 852 00:38:34,912 --> 00:38:37,273 Oh, the faces may change. 853 00:38:37,275 --> 00:38:39,595 But our purpose and our resolve remain the same. 854 00:38:39,597 --> 00:38:43,118 We keep doing things the same way we've been doing them 855 00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:47,443 because we are the United States Army Air Force. 856 00:38:47,445 --> 00:38:49,447 And what is our purpose? 857 00:38:53,651 --> 00:38:55,973 Anybody. 858 00:38:57,615 --> 00:38:59,415 Unbelievable. Soldier. 859 00:38:59,417 --> 00:39:02,778 To defeat the enemy, sir. To defeat the enemy. 860 00:39:02,780 --> 00:39:06,862 Now, some of us--some of us are making the ultimate sacrifice 861 00:39:06,864 --> 00:39:08,664 on land, on sea, and in the air, 862 00:39:08,666 --> 00:39:10,586 while others of us apparently think 863 00:39:10,588 --> 00:39:13,549 we are at the Ladies' Auxiliary fucking Fund-raiser! 864 00:39:13,551 --> 00:39:15,271 You are American officers! 865 00:39:15,273 --> 00:39:17,593 And the officers of no other army in the world 866 00:39:17,595 --> 00:39:19,235 can make that statement! 867 00:39:19,237 --> 00:39:21,239 You think about that. 868 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:25,922 Now, let's get down to brass tacks. 869 00:39:25,924 --> 00:39:29,005 I am gonna toughen you ladies up. 870 00:39:29,007 --> 00:39:31,489 And here's where I'm gonna start. 871 00:39:32,811 --> 00:39:35,932 I have decided to raise the mission count from 25 to 30. 872 00:39:35,934 --> 00:39:39,215 That's exciting, isn't it? You're goddamn right it is! 873 00:39:39,217 --> 00:39:41,337 30 missions effective immediately. 874 00:39:41,339 --> 00:39:43,139 We're winning this thing, gentlemen. 875 00:39:43,141 --> 00:39:45,141 We're beating the bastards. 876 00:39:45,143 --> 00:39:47,904 So three cheers for us. 877 00:39:47,906 --> 00:39:49,506 Hip, hip! 878 00:39:49,508 --> 00:39:51,588 A FEW VOICES: Hooray. 879 00:39:51,590 --> 00:39:52,589 Hip, hip! 880 00:39:52,591 --> 00:39:54,030 ALL: Hoorah! 881 00:39:54,032 --> 00:39:55,552 Hip, hip! ALL: Hoorah! 882 00:39:55,554 --> 00:39:57,754 [all shouting] 883 00:39:57,756 --> 00:40:00,957 You're goddamn right hoorah! 884 00:40:00,959 --> 00:40:03,960 [dramatic music] 885 00:40:03,962 --> 00:40:11,009 ♪ ♪ 886 00:40:13,692 --> 00:40:15,532 Doc, look, you got to help me. 887 00:40:15,534 --> 00:40:16,893 Let's forget about the liver. 888 00:40:16,895 --> 00:40:18,775 You can ground me if I'm crazy, right? 889 00:40:18,777 --> 00:40:20,897 Oh, sure, I have to. I have to ground anyone who's crazy. 890 00:40:20,899 --> 00:40:22,459 Then ground me. I'm crazy. 891 00:40:22,461 --> 00:40:24,461 You're not crazy. But I am! Ask anyone. 892 00:40:24,463 --> 00:40:25,542 They'll tell you how crazy I am. 893 00:40:25,544 --> 00:40:26,703 Yeah, but they're crazy. 894 00:40:26,705 --> 00:40:28,185 Then why don't you ground them? 895 00:40:28,187 --> 00:40:29,586 Why don't they ask me to ground them? 896 00:40:29,588 --> 00:40:30,907 'Cause they're crazy. That's why. 897 00:40:30,909 --> 00:40:32,389 Of course they're crazy. 898 00:40:32,391 --> 00:40:33,870 I just told you they're crazy, didn't I? 899 00:40:33,872 --> 00:40:35,712 And you can't have crazy people decide 900 00:40:35,714 --> 00:40:37,354 whether you're crazy or not. 901 00:40:37,356 --> 00:40:40,237 Is Orr crazy? Oh, he sure is. 902 00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:41,718 Can you ground him? I sure can. 903 00:40:41,720 --> 00:40:43,440 But first he has to ask me to. 904 00:40:43,442 --> 00:40:46,203 Then why doesn't he ask you? Because he's crazy. 905 00:40:46,205 --> 00:40:48,685 You'd have to be crazy to want to keep flying combat missions. 906 00:40:48,687 --> 00:40:51,368 Sure, I can ground Orr. But first he has to ask me to. 907 00:40:51,370 --> 00:40:53,210 And that's all he has to do to be grounded? 908 00:40:53,212 --> 00:40:55,092 That's it. Just let him ask. 909 00:40:55,094 --> 00:40:57,214 And then you can ground him? No, then I can't ground him. 910 00:40:57,216 --> 00:40:59,456 Why not? Catch-22. 911 00:40:59,458 --> 00:41:02,539 Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy. 912 00:41:02,541 --> 00:41:06,263 Catch-22 specifies that a concern for one's own safety 913 00:41:06,265 --> 00:41:08,305 in the face of danger-- real and immediate-- 914 00:41:08,307 --> 00:41:10,427 is the process of a rational mind. 915 00:41:10,429 --> 00:41:11,909 What? 916 00:41:11,911 --> 00:41:14,031 Orr's crazy, and therefore he can get out 917 00:41:14,033 --> 00:41:16,273 of flying combat missions-- all he has to do is ask. 918 00:41:16,275 --> 00:41:19,156 But as soon as he asks, he's no longer crazy, 919 00:41:19,158 --> 00:41:20,838 and so he has to fly more missions. 920 00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:22,520 What? 921 00:41:22,522 --> 00:41:24,562 Orr would be crazy to want to fly more missions 922 00:41:24,564 --> 00:41:26,363 and sane if he didn't, but if he's sane, 923 00:41:26,365 --> 00:41:28,205 then he has to fly them. 924 00:41:28,207 --> 00:41:29,647 If he flies them, then he's crazy, 925 00:41:29,649 --> 00:41:31,168 and so he doesn't have to. 926 00:41:31,170 --> 00:41:33,290 But if he doesn't want to, then he's sane, 927 00:41:33,292 --> 00:41:35,295 and so he has to. 928 00:41:41,581 --> 00:41:44,141 That's some catch, that Catch-22. 929 00:41:44,143 --> 00:41:46,145 It's the best there is. 930 00:41:50,430 --> 00:41:52,432 [door closes] 931 00:41:56,076 --> 00:41:59,077 [explosions] 932 00:41:59,079 --> 00:42:00,718 MAN: It's getting hot up here, fellas. 933 00:42:00,720 --> 00:42:02,480 MAN 2: Oh, shit! 934 00:42:02,482 --> 00:42:04,482 MAN 3: All right, boys, just hold it steady right here. 935 00:42:04,484 --> 00:42:06,404 Hold steady! Holy fuck. 936 00:42:06,406 --> 00:42:09,487 Closing in on target. 30 seconds to run. 937 00:42:09,489 --> 00:42:11,569 MAN: Okay, that's 30 seconds to run. 938 00:42:11,571 --> 00:42:13,771 30 seconds, fellas! 939 00:42:13,773 --> 00:42:17,815 [indistinct chatter] [bullets thudding] 940 00:42:17,817 --> 00:42:19,417 Hold steady. 941 00:42:19,419 --> 00:42:21,259 MAN 2: Okay, copy that! 942 00:42:21,261 --> 00:42:24,262 [gunfire, bullets ricocheting] 943 00:42:24,264 --> 00:42:27,307 [airplane engine rumbling] 944 00:42:31,631 --> 00:42:34,634 [air whooshing] 945 00:42:38,318 --> 00:42:39,878 [glass squeaking] 946 00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:41,800 MAN: ♪ If I only had wings ♪ 947 00:42:41,802 --> 00:42:45,243 ♪ I'd fly like a birdie in the sky ♪ 948 00:42:45,245 --> 00:42:48,406 ♪ With a tra la, la, la, a twee, twee, twee, twee ♪ 949 00:42:48,408 --> 00:42:50,408 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 950 00:42:50,410 --> 00:42:53,371 ♪ Take a trip to the moon on high ♪ 951 00:42:53,373 --> 00:42:56,134 ♪ Ask him why he winks his eye ♪ 952 00:42:56,136 --> 00:42:58,777 ♪ With a tra la, la, la, a twee, twee, twee, twee ♪ 953 00:42:58,779 --> 00:43:01,540 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 954 00:43:01,542 --> 00:43:04,142 ♪ Dreaming, dreaming ♪ 955 00:43:04,144 --> 00:43:06,385 ♪ Watching the clouds roll by ♪ 956 00:43:06,387 --> 00:43:11,069 ♪ I'd be scheming, happy in the bright blue sky ♪ 957 00:43:11,071 --> 00:43:12,831 ♪ If I only had wings ♪ 958 00:43:12,833 --> 00:43:16,595 ♪ I'd fly like a birdie in the sky ♪ 959 00:43:16,597 --> 00:43:19,358 ♪ With a tra la, la, la, a twee, twee, twee, twee ♪ 960 00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:22,000 ♪ Get the angels swinging on the hops for me ♪ 961 00:43:22,002 --> 00:43:24,443 [scatting] 962 00:43:24,445 --> 00:43:26,485 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 963 00:43:26,487 --> 00:43:29,448 ♪ Take a trip to the moon on high ♪ 964 00:43:29,450 --> 00:43:32,211 ♪ Ask him why he winks his eye ♪ 965 00:43:32,213 --> 00:43:34,853 ♪ With a tra la, la, la, a twee, twee, twee, twee ♪ 966 00:43:34,855 --> 00:43:36,895 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 967 00:43:36,897 --> 00:43:38,777 ♪ If I only had wings ♪ 968 00:43:38,779 --> 00:43:42,741 ♪ I'd fly, fly, fly like a birdie in the sky ♪ 969 00:43:42,743 --> 00:43:44,863 [drum solo] 970 00:43:44,865 --> 00:43:46,866 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 971 00:43:46,868 --> 00:43:50,069 ♪ Take a trip to the moon, oh, the moon on high ♪ 972 00:43:50,071 --> 00:43:53,112 ♪ Ask him why he winks his eye ♪ 973 00:43:53,114 --> 00:43:55,074 [drum solo] 974 00:43:55,076 --> 00:43:58,557 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 975 00:43:58,559 --> 00:44:00,720 [scatting] 976 00:44:00,722 --> 00:44:03,322 ♪ Watching those clouds roll by ♪ 977 00:44:03,324 --> 00:44:05,524 ♪ I'd be scheming ♪ 978 00:44:05,526 --> 00:44:07,486 ♪ I'm happy in the bright blue sky ♪ 979 00:44:07,488 --> 00:44:10,529 ♪ If I only had wings, wings, wings, wings ♪ 980 00:44:10,531 --> 00:44:13,332 ♪ I'd fly like a birdie in the sky ♪ 981 00:44:13,334 --> 00:44:17,577 [drum solo] 982 00:44:17,579 --> 00:44:20,339 [scatting] 983 00:44:20,341 --> 00:44:22,341 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 984 00:44:22,343 --> 00:44:24,223 ♪ If I only had wings ♪ 985 00:44:24,225 --> 00:44:28,588 ♪ I'd fly, fly, fly like a birdie in the sky ♪ 986 00:44:28,590 --> 00:44:30,550 [drum solo] 987 00:44:30,552 --> 00:44:32,512 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 988 00:44:32,514 --> 00:44:35,875 ♪ Take a trip to the moon, oh, the moon on high ♪ 989 00:44:35,877 --> 00:44:39,158 ♪ Ask him why he winks his eye ♪ 990 00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,361 [drum solo] 991 00:44:41,363 --> 00:44:44,764 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 992 00:44:44,766 --> 00:44:46,926 [scatting] 993 00:44:46,928 --> 00:44:49,449 ♪ Watching those clouds roll by ♪ 994 00:44:49,451 --> 00:44:51,931 ♪ I'd be scheming ♪ 995 00:44:51,933 --> 00:44:54,134 ♪ I'm happy in the bright blue sky ♪ 996 00:44:54,136 --> 00:44:57,137 ♪ If I only had wings, wings, wings, wings ♪ 997 00:44:57,139 --> 00:44:59,899 ♪ I'd fly like a birdie in the sky ♪ 998 00:44:59,901 --> 00:45:04,784 [drum solo] 999 00:45:04,786 --> 00:45:07,187 [scatting] 1000 00:45:07,189 --> 00:45:09,269 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 1001 00:45:09,271 --> 00:45:13,435 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a pair of wings for me ♪ 1002 00:45:13,437 --> 00:45:18,437 Subtitles by explosiveskull