SARAH: He's my son, too. ABRAHAM: Get back in the kitchen,
or so help me... Or what? You'll hit me again?
Oh, please, I squeezed your arm.
Son, let's go.
Son, there are times in a man's life
when he's gotta do things he don't wanna do.
This is one of them. You don't got to do this, Abe.
Please, don't do it. Go back inside!
SARAH: I swear, Abe, you're wrong about this.
Is Mama sad? She'll be all right.
SARAH: Stop! Suffering is a part of life, isn't it?
Yes, Papa.
There ain't nothing in this world that's free.
I mean, you think all this don't come at a price?
No, Papa.
You're a smart boy.
You take after your ma.
Are you sad, Papa?
I'll be all right.
Are we going to suffer?
More than you know.
Stay your hand, Abraham!
God?
I was gonna do it.
I was gonna do it!
I was gonna kill my only son for you!
Indeed you were, my child.
It was a test.
You passed.
I passed?
Come.
I love you so, so much.
Come.
I love you so, so much.
Love you so, so much.
STARR: Hello?
Are you ready? Phase two.
GOD: Let's stir the hornet's nest, shall we?
See who gets stung. Yes, good.
Excellent metaphor.
Is that the guinea pig, my Lord?No.
How is my boy doing?
Good, he's holding his own.
Hitler's a tough negotiator, of course... The Messiah.
The one you call Humperdoo.
How's he doing?
He's doing well.
They just took him to get his feet waxed, otherwise I know he'd love to talk.
Okay, then.
So when do we meet?
Soon. I'll...
I'll call you later.
Great. I'll just sit here and await your...
HITLER: Where are you getting these inflated figures from, HerrJesus?
JESUS: Simple addition. Baptisms and absolutions.
But your father gave them free will here.
Initiate phase two.
Escalate.
Bloody Aussies, bruh.
Keep moving.
BODYGUARD: It's the Deputy Prime Minister.
G'day, there.
Who's in charge?
The Commissioner.
Well, we want a word with this Commissioner.
Best you pull your bloody head in. Commissioner seems busy.
What do you think this is? Bloody Bushwick?
Besides, there's protocols to follow for all civvies in recourse with coppers.
You need to fill out an MC code, ACIC,
then you come back here in an hour and we'll see about important then.
We want to talk to your commissioner!
Didn't you hear what I just said? You can't...
But we can, missy.
And who the hell are you?
We're the Americans.
No worries, mate, she'll be right.
No, she won't ever be right, mate.
You know, you guys, you botched up a three-year undercover assignment,
you know that? I got tatted up for no reason.
But this one here...
This one, she lost her partner to this Preacher,
and you want to tell her, "It'll be right"?
We had no idea he was of interest to you Yanks.
CASSIDY: Everything's of interest to us.
I want everything you got.
I want credit card activity, I want criminal associates,
I want last-known location. This is our case now.
But there is no case. Not anymore.
Your man's dead.
That's a lie. No.
Death by gunshot, I got the killer locked up downstairs.
What killer?
He's dead.
I shot him.
Bullshit, Eugene.
You wouldn't hurt a fly.
You don't know what people will do.
I've learned that much.
COMMISSIONER: He's one ugly Bruce.
No wonder he's mad at the world.
Yeah, well...
That's just the thing,
he's got a face like an ass but he's really quite a sweet kid.
We found blood on his clothes, powder burn on his hand,
the weapon he used, and he said he did it.
There was no body, so...
So look at him.
My money says we'll find your man
in that arse-faced bastard's stool.
Mmm.
Now, you listen to me.
You may have shot him,
but when he's dead, I will know.
Understand?
'Cause Jesse's alive.
I hope not.
If he is, he's even worse off.
What?
What does that mean?
Where is he?
Eugene, where is he?
Got a gentle touch there, Doc.
What's next? Sponge bath?
THE SAINT OF KILLERS: We're burning daylight.
I was thinking of sleeping in.
Move.
Drop your weapons and get on your knees.
Just checking.
Where are we going?
To kill God.
Deathbed conversions.
You cannot be serious.
Whoever believes is not condemned,
whoever does not believe is.
So, by your logic,
one could start a world war,
try to exterminate an entire people, level Danzig,
undstill go to Heaven if they repent at the last second?
If they repent, yes.
But that is going to change.
No, it isn't. Yes, it is,
or I am taking back the homosexuals.
Well, then, maybe there doesn't need to be an apocalypse after all.
I'm sorry, gentlemen, but we are having the apocalypse.
In fact, it's already underway.
Ja?
Phase two? Escalate.
A spark to set the world on fire.
HITLER: I love it. Souls are coming,
in numbers, in bulk.
So, you need to decide which souls are going to Heaven,
and which to Hell.
Chop-chop, then.
Back to work.
Revenge won't bring you peace.
You can be angry,
you can call him
a son of a bitch,
but you can't kill him.
The .44 Walker.
It's the most powerful handgun ever made.
A man can shoot through planets.
I can kill him.
Let's go.
Eat shit.
I said, let's go.
And then I said, "Eat shit."
He took my family, too.
My dad, mom...
They were good people.
A lot better than me and you, that's for sure.
Had a baby, too, once.
Tulip and I.
Dallas, years ago.
All this shit,
suffering and commotion...
You wanna know what the hell? Why?
I do.
I need to know what it means.
Well, I'm not dead,
which means you want me alive,
which means I'm calling the shots.
So why don't you holster your planet-shooting guns
and walk away.
Leave God to me.
Want to see what it means,
Preacher?
No.
Wait.
DISPATCHER ON RADIO: Just sit tight until the Americans arrive, Charlie.
Charlie?
Charlie, you there?
We gotta go.
We just missed him.
Gotta be right up ahead.
NEWSCASTER: Across Oceania,
as a bellicose New Zealand has mobilized their carrier strike force
in the Tasman Sea, in response to the allegation
that Australia is responsible
for the murder of their beloved Deputy Prime Minister.
Flank your decks, mate.
We might have a situation.
The Australian Prime Minister denies the claims,
but asserts the country's right to defend itself
against any violation of its sovereignty.
What on Earth?
Bloody Kiwis.
JESSE: I've been told they got snakes out here.
One bite will make you
lie down and piss blood out your ass.
Trying to find some to send your way,
but it looks like they've run off scared.
Murdering son of a bitch like you,
I don't blame them.
You got any water?
You don't get thirsty.
How about a cigarette?
Well, don't tell me you quit. What kind of a cowboy are you?
What's the point of being a dead demon if you can't even...
Smoke.
I like the snake idea better.
I'm not going to let you kill him.
I'd die before I do.
TULIP: So we're around here somewhere, okay?
And Jesse is somewhere...
Out there.
So, yeah, okay.
Good, we just start driving around and...
Find him. Driving around where?
There aren't any roads.
There are roads, Cass.
Look.
There's one. There's a road.
Right there, there's one.
Mmm-hmm. There's not many.
I didn't say many, okay?
You said there was none, and that's wrong.
There are actual roads that we could follow them on.
Not many, but some.
What about the letter?
You know, maybe you missed something.
Maybe there's a clue or something.
There's nothing in that letter I missed, okay?
You never said what's in it. 'Cause it's none of your business.
I don't mean the personal stuff.
I just mean... You know, his plans, like where he was headed.
Maybe it's somewhere in the letter.I didn't read the letter, okay?
All right.
I mean, what'd be the point?
It either says,
"You're a dumb bitch," or, "You're a dumb bitch, and I forgive you."
Either one is bullshit, so screw him.
Why don't I read it? What?
I mean, you still have it, right?
You've not thrown it away.
Somewhere. All right. So,
you know, I just skim past all the personal stuff
and see if there's any clues as to where he might have been going.
Maybe it could help us, you know?
It won't help.
Actually, do you know what?
I'm gonna go grab a smoke.
Hello?
WAITRESS: Another cuppa? No, thanks. You...
Christ, you people and your cuppas.
Get you anything else then, hon?
Do you know what, actually, I'm a bit of a drug addict
who's had naught but cuppas since I got to your no-road hellhole of a country,
and I'm starting to feel a bit down.
So unless you have a quantity of crack, crank or skag handy,
or maybe even some household just lying around,
like some disinfectant or some paint thinner,
maybe a bit of descaler...
You got any of that?
No?
Right, well, I think I'll just take the check. Thanks, sheila.
There might be some fire retardant round back.
Mmm.
Oh, man.
Son of a bitch.
My God.
Cass!
He's going to meet God. See?Mmm.
Mmm.
What is that?
It's fire retardant.
Mmm.
That's where he's meeting him.
I just hope there's roads.
Hmm.
We don't need no stinking roads.
Gentlemen, I'm going to Australia.
I'll be right back.
♪ Live, baby, live
♪ I got a new sensation
♪ In perfect moments
I have to warn you, Hoover Two, when I get back I'll be quite attractive.
I look forward to it, sir.
WOMAN ON PA: Attention, all Grail personnel,
the car wash will be open regular hours...
♪ Sleep, baby, sleep A new sensation ♪
A lot of walking.
I guess it's your thing.
A cowboy without a horse and all that.
It makes me miss the "I'll run while you try and kill me" days.
THE SAINT OF KILLERS: They'll come again, don't worry.
I hope so.
'Cause this shit's getting boring.
CASSIDY: Do you think he knows what's coming?
He better.
Else it's gonna sting.
Get ready. All right.
I got a feeling that someday you're gonna be mad at me.
I'm mad at you right now, Preacher.
No, I mean, someday you're gonna be even more mad.
And when that day comes,
and you got me in your sights,
I want you to remember,
without me,
God gets away with it.
TULIP: Now.
Hey.
What?
Hey! Oh, hey.
Hey.
She said... She said, "Hey."
She's still mad at me, huh? Yeah.
She didn't read the letter? Nah. She'll come round.
We gotta make a stop. We know. We know.
Listen to me. When we find God,
you're making him explain The Big Lebowski,all right?
No, no, I mean it.
After all this, and I don't get an explanation for that,
I'm gonna punch something.
G'day.
What do you got there, mate?
A plutonium fissile device.
25 kilotons.
Oh, an atomic bomb.
What are you doing that for?
We're from New Zealand.
No, you're not. Sure we are.
Don't be a bloody dag, bro.
You take me for a drongo?
I know a Kiwi when I see one, and you're...
Phase two is in place and awaits your command.
Any sign of Custer?
Not yet.
Eager for your revenge, Klaus?
You wanted to cut a...
To carve a vagina into Custer's head.
Vagina. That's right.
Delightful piece of sadistic irony.
And my reward as well, my looks.
My beauty fully restored.
Right, right, right.
It's just that
physical attractiveness has always been sort of a calling card for me.
And you'll have it, God willing.
How is the Christ child?
Good! Good. Focused.
Deep in rehearsal for the big show, and...
You know I lost him, don't you?
That's why you keep asking.
It wasn't me!
It was Custer. He's the one that broke him out.
But don't worry, we'll... We'll find him.
I hope so.
God, I love that kid.
Of course. We all do.
What's not to...
What's that?
That is Canis lupus.
Dingo.
Dingo?
One of my hardier creations.
He disables his prey by ripping out the trachea,
and if the animal is too tall and he can't reach the throat...
Don't ever cross me again.
TULIP: There's your rock.
TULIP: There's your God.
Where did you get this?
I found it in God's trailer.
What? Where, how?
We just got lucky.
Shit!
It's a trap. We gotta get out of here.
Go! Go, go! Go!
I got you, Padre. Shit!
Don't... God damn it!
Let go!
I've got you. No, you don't.
Cass, let me go.
Tell Tulip to read the letter.
No, no, no, Jesse! Jesse, don't!
Let me go!