Oh, thank God for that.
If I have to eat another kumquat, I'll throw up.
I was nearly killed!
Yeah, you need to get that fixed.
We haven't got any money to get it fixed.
Oh, big boom, oh!
Hmm, or as we say in English, "Vaj ga|oop."
Larry, it's difficult enough to learn a language
without making words up.
vaj galoop.
I'll stop when she stops hating me.
Look!
An agama.
Theo says their skin darkens when they're upset.
Gerry, run down,
find Spiro.
Tell him to beg the landlord to help us... Gerry!
Come here.
Gerry!
It's escaping.
Oh!
Peenygrip-
Peenygrip, grip-
Peenygrip.
Peenygrip-
Yes.
Margo, go and find Spiro and ask...
No, I can't leave the house.
Max said he'd be dropping by.
To see me, not you.
Did he tell you how much he loved
the rise and fall of your breasts?
Bye!
Right!
I'll do it myself!
Mrs. Durrells, I'm sorry.
The landlord will do no more repairs
because you owe him rent.
But I'll pay him when the money
finally comes in from England.
How long you wait for your money?
Oh, three weeks.
It's not very much, it's just my widow's pension.
ltjust seems to be held up at the bank.
Those bank sonofabitches.
Mrs. Durrells, get in the car.
You think Ms. Durrells came from England
to be robbed?
Huh?
She could've gone to Spain!
Find her money!
Whoa.
They need more street lamps.
That's what the stars are for.
MAX AND DONALD (m mstancey. r (Test matin, c'est matin r
J‘ When the sun is shining! J‘
J‘ C'est matin, c'est matin, I only feel like wining! J‘
Max.
Hey, Larry, it's Max!
And Donald!
But mainly Max.
J‘ And moonlight drinking J‘
J‘ Upon the shore J‘
J‘ That's what the stars are for, the stars are for! J‘
Bugger off!
r C'est matin, c'est matin... r
Hello, Larry!
Open up!
Come in.
We come for refreshment!
Hooray.
We haven't got any booze or food.
Hooray... Wait, wait... what?
We're broke.
We're living on bloody kumquats.
Kum-whats?
Quats.
What the hell are you nearly wearing?
Let's go into town to get some ouzo!
Good idea.
I think I'm going to stay
and chat with Margo.
No!
I'll come with you.
Margy-BHFQY-
Stay, get your beauty snooze.
Beauty sleep.
Right, let's go.
Oh, hello.
Or I can stay.
Or I could just watch you sleep.
Why are you...
Theo!
My companion in zoology, kalimera!
Kalimera.
I've brought you these bee-flies.
They can't decide if they're bees or flies.
Shh, don't tell them, but they are flies.
Could you show half that excitement
for your other studies, please?
I hesitate to mention it,
but Mama Kondos up at her farm...
Oh, Lugaretzia's auntie?
She has six new puppies.
Yes!
No... no more pets.
Go make Theo some tea, please, Gerry.
How are you settling into the island?
Oh, Corfu is wonderful, Theo,
or it would be, had our funds arrived
and the children were more helpful.
It's all so frugal and, well...
Male.
Leslie!
Foraging?
I'm going!
I miss the company of women, Theo.
Mrs. Petridis is nice.
You'd get on.
Oh, my Greek isn't up to it.
I'm still on the numbers.
No, she's English, married to Dr. Petridis.
You should drop in on her.
Oh.
Morning, darling.
You know, I saw your Larry and two friends just now
in Yanni's bar in town, arm-wrestling.
That will be Max and Donald.
If you think about it, Mussolini's bad enough,
but he's essentially a nincompoop,
whereas Hitler is just...
No more about him, Donald.
I'm on holiday.
When are you not on holiday?
Well...
Oh...
Hello, Margo.
What are you all doing here?!
Donald thinks
we're put here by God,
Max is more of a Determinist.
Let me...
Oh, you mean, in the bar.
We're maundering drunkenly.
Oh.
Guten Morgen, Margo.
Wie gehfs?
No, seriously, I love German.
And Germans.
Wagner?
I can hire a boat
to take us to see Die Meistersinger in Athens.
I'd rather pull out my toes.
He means toenails, and I wasn't inviting you, Max.
Margy-Bargy...
You are very nice, but...
No.
I need to lie down.
Under a tree.
Ein Olivenbaum.
But Henry VIII wanted a divorce
because he was desperate for a male heir.
So he bought a huge eagle and a monkey
and he took them to see the pope.
Did he really?
Of course he didn't.
Gerry, concentrate.
You need an education.
Even zookeepers need an education.
I'm learning new things every day.
I just enjoy being outside.
Well, I'm not going to sit outside on the terrace
being eaten alive by bugs.
Isn't it...
badluck? No.
So Henry VIII lost patience with the pope,
He called me Margy-Bargy.
He thinks I'm a buffoon.
Oh, darling!
Darling!
Oh.
God.
Gerry, tortoises off the table.
Soup's a bit thin, I'm afraid.
I had to cobble it together from...
Oh, you don't need to know.
Oh, Margo, don't be unhappy.
You know what they say:
You have to kiss a lot of frogs...
Max is German, not French.
I know, I didn't mean...
And I've never kissed him and I never will,
because to him, I'm nothing.
I'm... a flea.
If you were a flea, you'd be able to jump 160 feet high.
You know, apart from anything... like Max being a maniac...
you are only 16...
He's not a maniac!
Hmm, something smells good!
Oh, no, wait... that's me!
A cheerful Durrell.
We don't get many of those around these parts.
Yeah, Alexia was mucking around with this straw hat, and, uh...
Oh, God,
she's so funny.
She made us these rings out of a squid
because she says we're soulmates.
Oh, sorry.
Mmm.
What did you make this out of, weeds?
Yes, I did.
Oh.
So...
I went to the bank again today.
Still no sign of our money.
God, it's quiet.
Where's Larry?
Presumably he's off with Donald and Max.
Ach, qvick, I will die without champagne!
You know she's in love with Max.
Is she?
Why?
Be kind to her.
You, too, Gerry.
Encourage her.
Unrequited love can be so painful.
I wouldn't know.
Bloody peenygrip all day.
Wake up!
I want you all out foraging.
For food
Something to sell...
For, for a job!
Anything!
We need food, or we are all on the next boat home.
Morning.
Up!
Ooh...
Yia sas.
Mama Kondos?
Nai.
My name is Gerry.
Um, thank you.
My friend Theo says you have puppies.
Puppies.
Yes.
Come.
Aw. ..
Hello.
Can I have one?
Yes, soon.
Need mommy now.
I love him.
Her.
Him?
Ella, ella, ella, eHa.
Kopiastai, thigateres, na thite pios ilthe!
Hello, I'm Louisa Durrell.
Oh, hello.
I'm afraid my husband's out on a call.
No no, I don't need a doctor.
Oh, right... what do you need?
I was told you're English.
Yes, I am.
So am I.
Well, lucky us!
Well, I mean, not lucky... lucky us,
I mean, um, well, uh...
I was hoping that you might have some advice
on how to survive here.
J‘ Well, I want to be... J‘
J‘ Won't you come and let me rock you J‘
J‘ In my cradle of love? J‘
Now, that is foraging.
Tea.
Lovely.
In fact, it's salepi,
made from the tubers of orchids.
Oh, Well.
That would raise a few eyebrows in Bournemouth.
Yes, one reason why I like it.
Oh, that's exactly the kind of thing I say.
Is that where you're from, Bournemouth?
Um, no, no, we, uh...
We just ended up there after my husband died.
We didn't really fit in,
so I moved us all here.
I always found England so frigid.
Well, my children were struggling.
Larry wanted to be a writer,
but was the worst estate agent in Hampshire,
while Margo was turning into a twit.
Right.
Gerry loathed school, and...
Leslie wanted to shoot anything that moved.
And that's getting better now?
And what about you?
Oh, I just love it here.
Especially as there are no hordes of English exiles
drinking G and Ts and rattling their pearls.
Have some kabuni.
Oh! Thank you.
Um, remind me again, what it is?
Oh, it's, um, a local dessert.
The ram's broth combines with cloves, it's...
You need the sweet sauce with it.
Oh!
Sorry!
I'm starving.
Mmm, mmm.
Oh, yes.
There's the sheep coming through.
Ah.
You're one of those Brits abroad
who wanks rock cakes and row pow.
Oh, no, not at all.
There's such a difference between expats
and committed migrants.
Well, you can be proud of being British and miss it,
and yet still embrace your new home.
Or is that like being married
but still fancying your old boyfriend?
Well, at least my old boyfriends don't lose our money
as they have done here.
Yes, stupid Corfu not letting you come in
and instantly buy up our island.
I... I don't want to buy it up.
I'm just tired of living like beggars.
Well, I, uh...
I won't take up any more of your time.
Yiasas!
You, too.
Hey!
You must go find more food.
No.
Another time.
My mother'|l sort something out.
Actually, she is very plucky.
I've been foraging, like you said,
and I picked all these berries.
Oh, and did you eat any at all?
Not really.
Oh, good.
And I went to Mama Kondos' house.
Oh, Gerry, I told you...
Yes, but who knows what'll happen to the puppies
if I don't take one?
But how will we feed a puppy?
We can barely feed ourselves.
Well, it could live off the berries.
But dogs don't eat berries, darling.
Roger does.
Well, Roger's always been a bit odd.
I've got something we can sell!
I found it by the road just now.
It's antique.
Oh, "Happy-J‘
"Hya... Hap..." Uh...
Farm...
Of...
Vasili.
So "Vasi|i Farm."
Sorry.
Uh, we're new here!
Nobody say anything.
Let's hope a magic bloody beanstalk comes up.
Gerry!
Ferame to koulouki.
Oh, uh...
Yia ton Gerry, yia to pethitsi.
Gerry's PUPPY-
Hello!
Stop!
This is it.
Whoa!
Or, as we say in Germany...
What?
Nothing, we say the same.
You've been gone for days.
Well, fun takes
time and commitment.
Did you know there was a melon festival?
You knew I needed help, Larry.
Would you mind not embarrassing me in front of my friends?
I... I am sorry, Mrs. Durrell.
We lost track of time.
It was a really good melon festival.
He excellent company.
Larry, do your imitation of a man
trying to be served in a crowded bar.
Maybe not now, Max.
Three whiskeys!
Bitte! Please?
Like that!
But more funny.
lam tired of you living it up while we struggle.
Help us.
I was helping, by being one less mouth to feed.
Is that the best you can come up with?
I've sent my short story to England.
That'|| bring us a tidy sum.
No, no, it won't.
Even if it's accepted, you'll earn a pittance.
What's wrong with her?
She's in love with Max.
Yeah, no, that won't work.
Well, give her some advice.
You're always talking about how worldly-wise you are.
‘u.
gather you need some advice
about love.
No.
Well, I'm here now.
Obviously you should forget Max, who's out of your league,
and go for Donald.
Stop moping about the house and think about him, poor sod.
Donald would be such a reliable companion for you.
I think she'll be all right now.
Is that it?
Is that your friendly advice?
You didn't say friendly.
She doesn't need a "reliable companion"!
I meant, tell her she's beautiful or clever...
So she's unhappy in |ove... aren't we all?
I'm missing Nancy, you've got nobody.
I've got all of you!
And I am just trying to make it through the week.
I want you all out,
foraging for, for food, or money, or anything.
I'll ask Max for money.
Oh, no, you won't.
Have you no pride?
No.
I've got most of the Seven Deadly Sins,
but that one always seemed a bit silly.
We don't want charity.
We are a resourceful and independent family.
Right!
Oh, oh, that's right!
Go on, shoot your mother!
That'll solve all your problems.
I'm going hunting.
You obviously want to turn us into medieval scavengers.
Larry...
You don't know how to shoot.
How hard can it be?
It really hurts, you know!
You should try childbirth!
Well, you should try war.
Yes, because us women
spent the whole of the last war giggling and shopping.
Oh!
Come on, Larry.
You know you take even moderate pain badly.
So suddenly it's bad to be sensitive?
J‘ Pretty baby... J‘
Oh, Leslie.
Would you please have a kind word with Margo?
She's an emotional wreck.
Don't... Wait.
Some guidelines.
Um, don't mention your own happy love life.
Don't tell her to pull herself together.
And well, just...
Just think about what you're saying.
It's fine, I'll come back later.
No.
Come in.
Larry's at death's door, you'd think.
Hmm.
Mind your, your average layman doesn't realize
what a punch the Westley Richards Boxlock model packs.
No.
Mom says you need some advice about your love problem.
I'd say lose some weight.
Most men don't go for fat girls.
Lunch, from the woods.
Oh.
Well done, darling.
These, eat, dead.
Oh.
Well, look what arrived for you this morning.
My puppy!
From Mama Kondos.
It's the wrong one.
I hope she hasn't given mine away.
I'm going to take it back and swap it!
Leslie!
; Leslieu
Go and get Spiro.
Run!
Let's go, now!
He's sweating like a Turk.
What's wrong with him?
I don't know.
Maybe he ruptured an internal organ when he fell.
Spiro, who is the very best doctor on Corfu?
Dr. Petridis, because he's the only doctor.
What?
Two doctors died last year.
Well, that's not a good sign, is it?
Do you know Dr. Petridis?
Uh, no... I've met his wife.
Ldon%Hke the looks of him.
Christ! Spiro, this isn't good for Larry.
I apologize.
The roads were better in Chicago.
Oh, hello.
It's, it's my eldest boy.
I'm afraid my husband's on Lefkada for a few days.
The only qualified doctor on Corfu
and you've allowed him to leave the island?
Please help us!
Bring him in.
I think it's his appendix.
Sudden pressure can rupture it.
Well, what can we do?
I don't know.
Darling!
Hello!
Hello.
Hello, everyone.
I heard what happened.
Theodore studied medicine.
Oh, thank goodness.
But only for a month or two.
Though I've carried on studying for my own satisfaction.
Suspected appendicitis
following abdominal trauma?
If he just lies there and shuts up for once,
will he be all right?
No, it needs to be cut out immediately, before it bursts.
But who can do that?
I can have a go.
No. No.
I'm not a qualified nurse,
but I've helped with anesthetic before.
Get him ready.
Please find any books on the subject.
Where's he going?
I'm sorry, but I promised your brother.
Don't worry, I'll keep you, too.
Yiasas.
Yia sou, Gerry.
Um, thank you for bringing the puppy,
but I need another one.
Do you still have them?
How dare you!
Can't you see that's so cruel?
What if someone buried you alive,
or your daughters?
So...
I hear you're crazy for a German boy...
but he's not crazy for you.
We don't need to talk about it.
No, it's good.
It takes your mind off your brother.
I gave her my advice.
She didn't like it.
You know my advice?
Get fatter.
Men don't like skinny girls.
I don't know why I'm getting upset.
He's really annoying.
It's every parent's biggest fear.
Your child being in pain.
You don't have children.
No.
Well, you've saved yourself all this.
The body's surprisingly strong.
Hello?
Anyone home?
It's all right.
Stay here.
I'll be home soon, I promise.
Okay.
Roger!
This is my friend Sven.
As I hoped, he has done this operation before.
Once... on an animal.
In anatomical terms, there is little difference.
Between Mrs. Petridis's expeﬁence,
my book knowledge, and Sven's...
And Sven's butchery of the odd goat.
This is my son!
I'm afraid there isn't much choice.
Can't we get him off the island?
To Athens, or Italy?
There must be a boat.
18 hours away,
and that's if you're lucky.
That's too late,
and the journey would kill him.
I'm sorry, Mrs. Durrell.
It is this, or the worst will happen.
I'm very hopeful.
You know, they're probably going to want money from us.
Well, for Larry's operation.
We're going to have to get jobs, aren't we?
; Really?
Whoa!
Oh, God, it's Max.
Whoa-pa.
What must I do?
Oh, yes, try and look thin.
Our driver heard from another driver that Larry's sick.
You can't go in.
They're cutting him open.
Poor Larry.
Hello, Margo.
Hello, Donald.
Oh, hello, Margo.
I, I'm sorry about Larry.
Larry is as well as can be expected, darling.
Hello, Larry.
He won't be out of the anesthetic for a while.
Whatever happens, thank you.
Anybody would have done the same.
No, they wouldn't.
I, uh... better go and check on the patient.
If you'll excuse me,
I had to rush off, leaving my pig only half fed.
Hates that.
Do drop by and see me.
I will.
I'd like that.
I play the accordion, you know.
Is that a threat?
Are you in a good mood?
What have you done?
Well, I went to Mama Kondos to take the wrong puppy back,
and she was burying all the other puppies alive.
Oh, no.
So I saved them just in time.
She's nice, but that was a terrible thing.
Well, they do things differently here, Gerry.
I had to take them all away.
So now we have to keep all six puppies.
Well...
All right, you can keep two.
Thank you!
But you have to find homes for the others.
Spiro's having one.
No, I'm in charge of my house.
And animals are for the farm only,
and the dinner table.
Not dogs, we don't eat dogs.
Except hot dogs.
Oh.
You know, it's all my fault.
I sent Larry off with a gun and a hangover.
When will I learn just to enjoy their company?
Mrs. Durrells,
you are the perfect mother.
Thank you, Spiro.
No bullshit.
I'll have to drive my car.
I'll be back soons.
Kalimera!
Kalimera ipa!
Kalimera!
They are good people!
Oh, come on, Larry, say something.
You always say something.
So, Larry, how's tricks?
Shh.
Tell him to stop shouting.
Oh, thank you.
Does this tea have some sort of special root in it?
No, normal tea.
And biscuits.
All right, perhaps there's a bit of me that misses England.
Oh, there's a man in Corfu Town
who knows a woman who can get Ovaltine, if you want any.
No, thank you.
When I'm in a foreign country, I only like to eat local food.
Signomi, pater, signomi.
Mrs. Durrells,
I went to the bank, and got your money.
Oh.
Thank you, Spiro.
You are so good to me, to all of us.
You're English, my favorite peoples.
You didn't shout at the bank clerk, did you?
Why would I shout at him?
Well, you do shout at people, Spiro.
What?
Champagne, Spiro?
Sure.
Larry.
Larry, our money's arrived.
But it's yours.
For your short story.
Well done.
I'm a proper writer.
I have some advice.
Oh, God, not you, too, Gerry.
Sorry, I have to.
Mom said.
I've been thinking about this,
and the black widow spider shakes its bottom
to attract its chosen mate.
So perhaps you could do that to Max?
Are you going to do it?
No, Gerry.
In fact...
I'm giving up on love forever!
Welcome.
Larry's woken up.
He's on the mend.
Oh, I'm so glad.
Getting the taste for it now.
Think I'm ready for some brain surgery.
I, uh...
I realize I don't know anything about you.
Oh, you know us Scandinavians.
We like to be a little enigmatic.
What brings you to Corfu?
The same as you, no doubt.
Lure of an ancient civilization,
land of Homer.
And you can't really take your shirt off in Stockholm
without getting frostbite.
No, no.
I had the same problem in Bournemouth.
Um, is there a Mrs. Sven?
No.
ls there a Mr. Durrell?
No, no.
Not anymore.
Uh, I didn't want to offend you,
and I also didn't want to assume, but I...
I must pay you for Larry's operation.
And I'm not sure, um, how much...
No, you just spoiled it all.
Oh, Margo.
It's not easy, is it?
Zito pou hathikame, ande grigora!
Ow!
Sorry, sorry.
Viamenos!
Sorry.
No, take them away.
I did not survive a major operation
carried out by hobbyists
just to eat more kumquats.
They're very plentiful, actually.
You know you can live quite nicely
just from what you find in hedgerows.
Why are they putting
the table in the sea?
To keep us cool.
It was Leslie's idea.
He doesn't have many,
so please be kind about this one.
So aren't you going to thank me?
Well, where do I start?
I mean, there's so much!
For giving you Story money.
I don't think your pension's going to arrive anytime soon,
so you'll be sponging off me forever,
now I'm a professional author.
Use your powers for good, won't you?
Don't be one of those awful writers
who pokes fun at his family.
Oh, don't worry.
I'll be too busy writing aboutsex.
Artists like me need to live
outside the normal rules of society.
Which, in practice, means getting drunk.
A lot.
Where are you going?
Come back!
Wheel me!
Can't get your wound wet!
You have to stay on the beach.
What? No!
ls the tide coming in?
No.
It's the Mediterranean, it's only a small one.
And I checked, it's going out.
I'm lonely!
Lugaretzia, would you please
pass the, um...
the strange fruit?
Oh, Lugaretzia,
you can't ignore Gerry forever,
particularly as you're still ignoring Larry.
He shout at my auntie.
She's got a point.
She was being cruel.
Look, we mustn't criticize
other people's customs and traditions.
We can if they do horrible things.
Kolopetho!
What's he shouting?
Arsehole.
What?
Lugaretzia taught him it.
She told him it means "hello."
Ahoy there!
We are leaving!
Where are you going?
Don't know!
That Way!
Get better, Larry!
Goodbye, Margo!
Aren't you going to say goodbye?
Margo!
Come on board for a drink.
Go on then, give me your advice.
Never again.
Oh, never again, darling.
Never again. No!
Come on, Margo!
Come on!
What are you waiting for?
I'm coming!
Keep going!
Keep going, Margo, swim!
The tide is rising, you know.
No, it isn't.
No, it is.
Oh, yeah, it is, actually.
Come on.
Ah-oop!
Welcome on board.
Ybunglove.
What about old love?
If you mean me, I'm not old, and don't start that again.
Come on, you and the flying Finn?
He's from Sweden.
It's the same thing.
I know naked lust when it's in the room.
You are an idiot.
See you later!
Bye-bye!
She is coming back, isn't she?
Um...
Margo!
Darling, come back!
He's not right for you!
Margo!