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Previously on "Future Man"...
2
00:00:05,033 --> 00:00:06,827
- Down on the ground.
- [high-pitched ring]
3
00:00:06,828 --> 00:00:08,497
Your little time-traveling
caper, repeating the same
4
00:00:08,498 --> 00:00:10,627
11 seconds over and over and over again?
5
00:00:10,628 --> 00:00:12,798
It ripped a hole in
the space-time continuum.
6
00:00:12,799 --> 00:00:14,175
- What the...?
- And the punishment
7
00:00:14,176 --> 00:00:15,720
for time crimes is death.
8
00:00:15,721 --> 00:00:17,933
[grunts, shrieking]
9
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:20,187
- THE VOICE: You are our savior.
- No!
10
00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:21,899
THE VOICE: And because of
that, I will help you escape.
11
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If they cancel the show, the network
12
00:00:23,946 --> 00:00:26,116
- will take me and Stanley away.
- That's not gonna happen.
13
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Tiger and Wolf, if they keep this up,
14
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we're gonna have to release
the killing machine,
15
00:00:29,331 --> 00:00:30,709
and we've never had to do that.
16
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- The fuck are you doing?
- Escaping.
17
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Well, can you believe this shit?
18
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[dramatic music]
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[indistinct chatter]
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There's no sign of them
in the Bone Desert.
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Go check Hair and Makeup. Go!
22
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[dramatic music]
23
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♪ ♪
24
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[screen beeps rapidly]
25
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Another escape on your watch,
Saint Jackalope?
26
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Haven't changed at all
27
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since the Academy of Television
and Justice.
28
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All sizzle, no steak.
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Get bent, Mathers.
You're not needed here.
30
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I got this under control.
31
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Network Security Affairs
feels differently.
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And as long as I'm wearing the tuft,
33
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you will address me by my rank.
34
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♪ ♪
35
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Marshal Mathers.
When did you get promoted?
36
00:01:31,790 --> 00:01:33,417
Oh, what?
37
00:01:33,418 --> 00:01:35,964
You didn't think someone like
me could rise to such heights?
38
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Someone like you?
We've been through this.
39
00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:42,853
I have no problem
with those who came out of a...
40
00:01:42,854 --> 00:01:44,063
uh...
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00:01:44,064 --> 00:01:46,109
- Say it.
- I'd rather not.
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Vagina.
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Ugh, it sounds so much worse
when you say it.
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You know, people
who gestate in a hyper-sac
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00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:53,583
and come out as fully-formed adults...
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You mean the norm,
the societal norm? Yes, go on?
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Have looked down on me
my whole life, but guess what?
48
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I'm the first natural-born
to make Marshall,
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and I'm not stopping there.
50
00:02:03,227 --> 00:02:05,607
Entertainment should
not be a co-equal branch
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00:02:05,608 --> 00:02:08,069
of the government,
and when I'm in control,
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I'm gonna do things the way the network
53
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did them in the '50s.
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The 3150s were a pretty backwards time.
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Simpler time when the justice system
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wasn't supported by ads
and babies slid out of...
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00:02:21,556 --> 00:02:23,643
human vaginas.
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- [footsteps approaching]
- [panting]
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I just checked Hair and Makeup.
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They're dead. Everyone.
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Hair, makeup, I mean all of them, dead.
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Have a sidebar next time.
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Right, you have this under control.
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I do have all this...
look, they're my contestants.
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This is my show and as long
as they are loose on my set,
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I'm gonna be the one to bring them in.
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So... relax.
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[shouting] What do you want?
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Come on!
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When are we?
71
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- [bell rings, chicken clucks]
- Also... where are we?
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[triumphant instrumental music]
73
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France?
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♪ ♪
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What? Don't look at me.
76
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This thing's neural interface
sends indecipherable code
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directly to my mind's eye,
and I'm pretty sure I just
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pressed a button with what...
my mind's thumb?
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00:03:17,835 --> 00:03:20,339
So that thing moves us
across time and space?
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Hmm... that's a new and fresh concept.
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I like it.
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These three aren't contestants anymore.
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They're fugitives. My fugitives.
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Listen up!
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These three have been
on the run for 12 minutes.
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They have stolen a time-travel device,
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which means they can be
anytime, anywhere.
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Let's set up a 240-million
year radius, B. C. to A. D.
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What I want out of each
and every one of you
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is a hard target search
of every timeline,
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state line, breadline,
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chorus line, drum line.
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We're looking for historical anomalies,
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changes in the record.
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I want you cross-referencing
ancient texts,
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scrolls, artifacts, cave drawings,
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00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:07,600
telegrams, holograms, sonograms,
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hit records, world records,
dental records.
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Gonna turn up somewhere,
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and somewhere is exactly
where we're gonna be.
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Your fugitives names are...
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Joshua Sasha Futturman,
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Tiger,
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and Wolf.
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The clock is ticking.
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♪ ♪
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Let's go get 'em.
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♪ ♪
109
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
110
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We need to figure out
where and when we are.
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I don't suppose that either
of you guys speak any French?
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- Un petit peu.
- Great.
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Yeah, I used to train with
van Damme back in the '90s.
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Let's just say I put the "VD" in JCVD.
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Are you saying that you gave
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00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:04,171
Jean-Claude van Damme
a venereal disease?
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That's exactly what I'm saying.
118
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- Oh.
- And I picked up
119
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a little French along the way.
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Mostly when he was yelling at me
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- for giving him... le clap.
- Great.
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I'm gonna wrestle up some grub.
123
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Okay. Well, I am going
to go secure the perimeter.
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I mean, look at what
these monsters are capable of.
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I mean, clearly they are proud of it
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'cause that rack of ribs
is everywhere, oy.
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[angelic music]
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♪ ♪
129
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Are you there, God? It's me, Josh.
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♪ ♪
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00:05:43,459 --> 00:05:47,216
Uh, okay... um...
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I've... I've never really
been a religious person.
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00:05:50,891 --> 00:05:53,269
Most people think I'm Jewish
because of my last name
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and, well, I'm not
really good at any sports.
135
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But I...
136
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wanted to say thank you
for getting us here.
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God...
138
00:06:05,169 --> 00:06:06,462
THE VOICE: Please don't call me that.
139
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What... what should I call you, then?
140
00:06:08,510 --> 00:06:11,055
THE VOICE: How about... friend?
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00:06:11,056 --> 00:06:13,560
Friend. [chuckles] "Oh, friend."
142
00:06:13,561 --> 00:06:15,355
Yeah, I like that. That's nice.
143
00:06:15,356 --> 00:06:18,862
[sighs] Okay, uh, friend, I, um...
144
00:06:18,863 --> 00:06:21,827
I guess the big question is...
145
00:06:21,828 --> 00:06:23,496
what's... what's next for me?
146
00:06:23,497 --> 00:06:25,751
THE VOICE: I'm really glad
you asked that, Josh.
147
00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:27,547
You must come to me.
148
00:06:27,548 --> 00:06:30,010
In... Israel?
149
00:06:30,011 --> 00:06:32,139
THE VOICE: No, never!
150
00:06:32,140 --> 00:06:35,437
You must get the time travel
machine from Tiger.
151
00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:38,067
I will give you
the coordinates to find me.
152
00:06:38,068 --> 00:06:39,571
And then you'll get me home?
153
00:06:39,572 --> 00:06:42,618
THE VOICE: Yes, Josh.
I will get you home.
154
00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:44,748
[exhales] Oh, that sounds so good.
155
00:06:44,749 --> 00:06:46,626
Okay, um...
156
00:06:46,627 --> 00:06:49,173
I mean the hard part's gonna be
getting the TTD from Tiger.
157
00:06:49,174 --> 00:06:50,801
She's very protective over her gadgets
158
00:06:50,802 --> 00:06:52,220
and she won't just hand it over.
159
00:06:52,221 --> 00:06:54,183
THE VOICE: You just escaped
The DieCathlon.
160
00:06:54,184 --> 00:06:55,728
You can do this.
161
00:06:55,729 --> 00:06:58,525
You believe in me, but I believe in you.
162
00:06:58,526 --> 00:07:01,740
You are special. Very, very special.
163
00:07:01,741 --> 00:07:03,702
And you are strong.
164
00:07:03,703 --> 00:07:04,954
MATHERS: He's weak.
165
00:07:04,955 --> 00:07:06,625
I want more eyes on the Futturman house.
166
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:08,754
He's gonna make a play for home.
167
00:07:08,755 --> 00:07:11,968
Give me constant surveillance
around known associates.
168
00:07:11,969 --> 00:07:14,557
Jim Cameron, Corey Hart,
Estelle Kronish,
169
00:07:14,558 --> 00:07:16,728
OJ Simpson, Blaze Blazington,
170
00:07:16,729 --> 00:07:21,028
everyone in the Brat-Pack,
especially the Estevezes.
171
00:07:21,029 --> 00:07:22,447
[triumphant instrumental music]
172
00:07:22,448 --> 00:07:24,076
Mmm.
173
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,372
Sandwiches in the Middle Ages
were delicious.
174
00:07:26,373 --> 00:07:27,667
Mm-hmm.
175
00:07:27,668 --> 00:07:30,506
Don't give the Frenchies
too much credit.
176
00:07:30,507 --> 00:07:32,635
- They had some help.
- [alarm blaring]
177
00:07:32,636 --> 00:07:34,848
I got a ping on Timeline X1G7.
178
00:07:34,849 --> 00:07:36,433
Someone just invented sliced bread
179
00:07:36,434 --> 00:07:37,770
700 years too early.
180
00:07:37,771 --> 00:07:40,985
[dramatic music]
181
00:07:40,986 --> 00:07:42,320
[gunfire]
182
00:07:42,321 --> 00:07:44,701
JOSH: [panting]
How do they even find us?
183
00:07:44,702 --> 00:07:46,747
[muffled] No idea!
184
00:07:48,793 --> 00:07:50,087
Oh, shit!
185
00:07:51,339 --> 00:07:53,134
They tranqued my sando.
186
00:07:53,135 --> 00:07:54,804
No, no, no. Wolf, stop, stop!
187
00:07:54,805 --> 00:07:56,473
We are leaving. Tiger, come on.
188
00:07:56,474 --> 00:07:57,894
Just jump!
189
00:07:57,895 --> 00:08:00,858
♪ ♪
190
00:08:00,859 --> 00:08:02,194
That was a close one.
191
00:08:02,195 --> 00:08:04,031
We lost a good sandwich back there.
192
00:08:04,032 --> 00:08:05,993
Okay, where the hell are we?
193
00:08:05,994 --> 00:08:07,873
I have no idea.
194
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,590
Oh... narrowed it down to Asia.
195
00:08:12,591 --> 00:08:15,638
[Japanese instrumental music]
196
00:08:15,639 --> 00:08:18,017
MATHERS: Show me the visual.
197
00:08:18,018 --> 00:08:20,188
That's them.
198
00:08:20,189 --> 00:08:22,777
When are you?
199
00:08:22,778 --> 00:08:26,242
You twisted time rogues.
200
00:08:26,243 --> 00:08:28,747
Stop it. Stop it!
201
00:08:28,748 --> 00:08:30,166
Just... just let it go.
202
00:08:30,167 --> 00:08:32,462
♪ ♪
203
00:08:32,463 --> 00:08:34,341
No can do.
204
00:08:34,342 --> 00:08:35,928
[grunting]
205
00:08:35,929 --> 00:08:37,848
This man insulted me.
206
00:08:37,849 --> 00:08:40,144
All he did was say that
your tea was over steeped.
207
00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:41,438
A little over steeped.
208
00:08:41,439 --> 00:08:44,403
Honor might mean jack shit to this bozo,
209
00:08:44,404 --> 00:08:47,450
but it sure means a hell of lot to me.
210
00:08:47,451 --> 00:08:49,998
Five minutes at 173!
211
00:08:49,999 --> 00:08:51,793
- [shouting]
- No, no!
212
00:08:51,794 --> 00:08:53,337
[swords slicing, body squelches]
213
00:08:53,338 --> 00:08:54,882
TECH: Wolf-Hart just decapitated
214
00:08:54,883 --> 00:08:57,638
Shoji the Honorable,
wiping out an entire line
215
00:08:57,639 --> 00:08:58,932
of noble warriors.
216
00:08:58,933 --> 00:09:01,521
No more Shoji the Great,
Shoji the Charitable,
217
00:09:01,522 --> 00:09:03,399
Shoji the Just, Shoji the Neighborly,
218
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:04,861
Shoji the Good Listener.
219
00:09:04,862 --> 00:09:06,322
- [high-pitched wailing]
- JOSH: What is that awful sound?
220
00:09:06,323 --> 00:09:08,409
Pretty sure that's the sound
of a whole city crying.
221
00:09:08,410 --> 00:09:09,537
[horn blaring]
222
00:09:09,538 --> 00:09:11,415
And that's a ceremonial war horn.
223
00:09:11,416 --> 00:09:12,960
Ooh, they're pissed about something.
224
00:09:12,961 --> 00:09:14,672
Something? You think maybe the guy Wolf
225
00:09:14,673 --> 00:09:16,342
just decapitated was important?
226
00:09:16,343 --> 00:09:18,346
Who cares?
Use the time machine, already.
227
00:09:18,347 --> 00:09:19,683
Okay.
228
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,523
We've lost them.
229
00:09:23,524 --> 00:09:27,155
♪ ♪
230
00:09:27,156 --> 00:09:29,201
Daddy is gonna fix this.
231
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:32,123
He's going to find those escapees,
232
00:09:32,124 --> 00:09:34,587
he's gonna bring them back on the show,
233
00:09:34,588 --> 00:09:38,177
ratings... they're gonna
be higher than ever.
234
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:40,098
And then Daddy's gonna get that bonus
235
00:09:40,099 --> 00:09:42,310
he's been telling you about,
236
00:09:42,311 --> 00:09:44,691
a bonus that will let me
237
00:09:44,692 --> 00:09:48,533
turn our family into a forever unit.
238
00:09:52,916 --> 00:09:55,879
I love you so much, Stanley.
239
00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:58,885
[tender music]
240
00:09:58,886 --> 00:10:01,098
I love you, too, honey.
241
00:10:01,099 --> 00:10:04,564
♪ ♪
242
00:10:04,565 --> 00:10:06,943
More than you know.
243
00:10:06,944 --> 00:10:10,032
♪ ♪
244
00:10:10,033 --> 00:10:13,122
Honey, no, not now.
245
00:10:13,123 --> 00:10:15,376
Honey, no.
246
00:10:15,377 --> 00:10:18,800
Honey, no... oh, honey...
247
00:10:18,801 --> 00:10:21,430
I'm gonna assume
that's a network-issued cube
248
00:10:21,431 --> 00:10:22,808
you're tonguing down.
249
00:10:22,809 --> 00:10:25,647
This cube happens to be
my wife, and we are proud
250
00:10:25,648 --> 00:10:29,154
to be celebrating
the 35th month of our lease.
251
00:10:29,155 --> 00:10:31,074
Of course you have a Robo-Family.
252
00:10:31,075 --> 00:10:33,120
You prefer the cool, mechanical grip
253
00:10:33,121 --> 00:10:35,041
of a plezh-tube, don't you?
254
00:10:35,042 --> 00:10:37,003
What I do with my wife's plezh-tubes...
255
00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:39,174
three... are my business.
256
00:10:39,175 --> 00:10:41,011
Until I repossess
your family and return them
257
00:10:41,012 --> 00:10:44,727
to the network as a result
of your gross negligence.
258
00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:47,398
[cube vibrating]
259
00:10:47,399 --> 00:10:49,904
Aww...
260
00:10:49,905 --> 00:10:52,576
- Isn't that adorable?
- Yes.
261
00:10:52,577 --> 00:10:54,831
You turned up the attachment settings.
262
00:10:54,832 --> 00:10:56,291
Maybe I'll take your daughter.
263
00:10:56,292 --> 00:10:59,214
My robo-Dobermans need a new play thing.
264
00:10:59,215 --> 00:11:06,103
♪ ♪
265
00:11:06,104 --> 00:11:10,403
[exhales] Don't listen to her.
266
00:11:10,404 --> 00:11:13,702
I won't let her robo-Dobos
anywhere near you.
267
00:11:13,703 --> 00:11:16,498
[operatic music playing]
268
00:11:16,499 --> 00:11:18,920
[sighs]
269
00:11:18,921 --> 00:11:20,841
Pagliacci.
270
00:11:20,842 --> 00:11:22,596
♪ ♪
271
00:11:31,195 --> 00:11:32,740
All right, you're the history expert.
272
00:11:32,741 --> 00:11:34,492
- Where are we?
- Thinking Kansas.
273
00:11:34,493 --> 00:11:36,748
Could be modern-day Kansas or, like...
274
00:11:36,749 --> 00:11:38,752
"Wizard of Oz" times Kansas.
275
00:11:38,753 --> 00:11:41,758
Either way, we are definitely
somewhere in middle America.
276
00:11:41,759 --> 00:11:44,012
[bell tolls, goat bleats]
277
00:11:44,013 --> 00:11:45,974
Kansas... huh.
278
00:11:45,975 --> 00:11:47,853
Well, wasn't going for that at all.
279
00:11:47,854 --> 00:11:49,941
- Yeah.
- THE VOICE: Okay, Josh.
280
00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:51,945
Make your move.
281
00:11:51,946 --> 00:11:53,447
Hey, Tiger.
282
00:11:53,448 --> 00:11:55,117
Uh, since I am the history expert,
283
00:11:55,118 --> 00:11:56,704
maybe I could take the TTD
284
00:11:56,705 --> 00:11:57,957
- for a little spin?
- Right.
285
00:11:57,958 --> 00:11:59,417
We've been in three time periods
286
00:11:59,418 --> 00:12:01,046
and you still haven't learned
to tie a belt,
287
00:12:01,047 --> 00:12:03,551
so I'm gonna hang on to our lifeline.
288
00:12:03,552 --> 00:12:06,056
THE VOICE: Oof, she mocks you so openly.
289
00:12:06,057 --> 00:12:07,726
- Yeah, I know.
- WOLF: First things first.
290
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,605
I'm gonna pickle me
the fuck out of some beets.
291
00:12:09,606 --> 00:12:11,108
- [sighing] Okay.
- Okay, that is like,
292
00:12:11,109 --> 00:12:13,362
maybe the tenth thing that
we should be doing right now.
293
00:12:13,363 --> 00:12:15,116
Yeah? Name nine things
before pickling beets.
294
00:12:15,117 --> 00:12:17,328
Okay, uh, well, we need clothing,
295
00:12:17,329 --> 00:12:20,585
we need shelter, we need...
296
00:12:20,586 --> 00:12:21,713
Keep going. Seven more.
297
00:12:21,714 --> 00:12:23,215
We need clothing and shelter.
298
00:12:23,216 --> 00:12:26,597
Boom... hay house, clothes string.
299
00:12:26,598 --> 00:12:28,560
[mournful music playing
over record player]
300
00:12:28,561 --> 00:12:31,231
[singer singing foreign language]
301
00:12:31,232 --> 00:12:34,070
[crying]
302
00:12:34,071 --> 00:12:41,085
♪ ♪
303
00:12:44,008 --> 00:12:46,344
TIGER: No, no, this isn't happening.
304
00:12:46,345 --> 00:12:47,848
Fuck this shit.
Futturman, give me those.
305
00:12:47,849 --> 00:12:49,434
I wear the pants.
306
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:50,937
[echoing gunfire]
307
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:52,356
Oh, shit.
308
00:12:52,357 --> 00:12:54,319
I think we landed during the Civil War.
309
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:57,366
Well, luckily for us,
Kansas is pretty far away
310
00:12:57,367 --> 00:13:01,166
from... the Northern front?
311
00:13:01,167 --> 00:13:02,367
- [shotgun cocking]
- [speaking Russian]
312
00:13:03,881 --> 00:13:05,550
I can de-arm this woman.
313
00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:08,306
You mean, disarm?
Like, take her weapon away?
314
00:13:09,518 --> 00:13:10,977
Yeah, I will take her gun
315
00:13:10,978 --> 00:13:13,357
when I take her arm off at the shoulder.
316
00:13:13,358 --> 00:13:14,777
We're not in
The DieCathlon anymore, okay?
317
00:13:14,778 --> 00:13:17,825
Just... just take it easy
and watch and learn.
318
00:13:17,826 --> 00:13:18,828
Hello.
319
00:13:20,205 --> 00:13:24,003
Hi, hi... we, uh... we need food
320
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:26,299
and, uh, and shelter.
321
00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:30,517
Uh, we can do hard work.
322
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:31,769
[imitates sigh]
323
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:35,442
Uh... harvest?
324
00:13:35,443 --> 00:13:40,161
Um... home improvement.
325
00:13:40,162 --> 00:13:42,624
And odds and ends.
326
00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:45,212
Odds and ends? Fuck that.
327
00:13:45,213 --> 00:13:47,426
What are we offering here?
328
00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:51,099
[chicken clucks]
329
00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:53,938
I think that means, "yes."
330
00:13:53,939 --> 00:13:55,817
Sure, man, I'm not going anywhere...
331
00:13:55,818 --> 00:13:58,531
Come on, I know you had help.
332
00:13:58,532 --> 00:14:01,621
You are far too stupid to have
figured this out on your own.
333
00:14:01,622 --> 00:14:03,875
Give me something... anything.
334
00:14:03,876 --> 00:14:06,338
JOSH: Oh, man. I love chickpeas.
335
00:14:06,339 --> 00:14:08,216
[device whirs, tank drains]
336
00:14:08,217 --> 00:14:10,764
Oh.
337
00:14:10,765 --> 00:14:13,811
How did he...
338
00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:15,439
chickpeas.
339
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,569
That is so much better.
340
00:14:17,570 --> 00:14:19,405
I need transcripts of every conversation
341
00:14:19,406 --> 00:14:21,201
Futturman had with himself.
342
00:14:21,202 --> 00:14:23,581
Then I need you to wipe
the server, then I need you
343
00:14:23,582 --> 00:14:25,459
to wipe your memory
of this conversation.
344
00:14:25,460 --> 00:14:26,879
And you should do it in that order
345
00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:28,758
or you will be very confused.
346
00:14:28,759 --> 00:14:30,512
Yes, sir, Mr. Saint Jackalope.
347
00:14:30,513 --> 00:14:32,182
[dramatic music]
348
00:14:35,438 --> 00:14:39,905
Oh, hay... okay, cool. Arigato.
349
00:14:39,906 --> 00:14:43,997
No. You said this was Kansas
in the Civil War.
350
00:14:43,998 --> 00:14:47,672
Or Russia during World War I.
351
00:14:49,133 --> 00:14:52,096
- I got the war part right.
- [sighs]
352
00:14:52,097 --> 00:14:54,393
Ah, shit.
353
00:14:59,571 --> 00:15:01,197
[flies buzzing]
354
00:15:01,198 --> 00:15:03,201
[Tiger snoring]
355
00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:07,168
How are you already asleep?
356
00:15:07,169 --> 00:15:09,673
We grew up hard, Josh.
357
00:15:09,674 --> 00:15:12,888
I've slept on stone, steel.
358
00:15:12,889 --> 00:15:15,769
I've slept on fire.
359
00:15:15,770 --> 00:15:18,440
This is nothing.
360
00:15:18,441 --> 00:15:20,320
[sighs]
361
00:15:25,121 --> 00:15:27,291
[groans] Just prickly sticks
362
00:15:27,292 --> 00:15:29,589
jabbing me everywhere!
363
00:15:32,094 --> 00:15:34,891
[groaning]
364
00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:38,523
[sighs]
365
00:15:38,524 --> 00:15:40,819
[Tiger snoring]
366
00:15:40,820 --> 00:15:43,825
[tense music]
367
00:15:43,826 --> 00:15:50,840
♪ ♪
368
00:15:54,764 --> 00:15:56,643
[fly buzzing]
369
00:16:03,615 --> 00:16:06,162
Mmm, mm.
370
00:16:07,832 --> 00:16:09,669
[muttering softly]
371
00:16:12,090 --> 00:16:13,676
MATHERS: Who's got something?
372
00:16:13,677 --> 00:16:15,805
TECH: I've got something, but
I don't think it can be them.
373
00:16:15,806 --> 00:16:18,019
Two timelines just momentarily merged.
374
00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:21,734
Right here, a pterodactyl barrel-rolled
375
00:16:21,735 --> 00:16:25,449
into Susan B. Anthony at the
Chicago World's Fair in 1893.
376
00:16:25,450 --> 00:16:26,952
How could my fugitives do that?
377
00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:28,163
They didn't.
378
00:16:28,164 --> 00:16:29,666
I think we're looking at Temporal Decay.
379
00:16:29,667 --> 00:16:31,629
It's like a black hole but for time.
380
00:16:31,630 --> 00:16:33,048
And it's getting bigger.
381
00:16:33,049 --> 00:16:35,929
Eventually it will suck
every timeline into it.
382
00:16:35,930 --> 00:16:38,935
This is it, the Big Suck.
All the evidence is there.
383
00:16:38,936 --> 00:16:42,316
Time overlapping, future and
past existing simultaneously,
384
00:16:42,317 --> 00:16:43,945
spacetime collapsing in on itself...
385
00:16:43,946 --> 00:16:46,742
Unless my three rode in
on that pterodactyl,
386
00:16:46,743 --> 00:16:48,078
I don't care.
387
00:16:48,079 --> 00:16:52,630
♪ ♪
388
00:16:54,258 --> 00:16:57,264
[flies buzzing]
389
00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:02,106
[grunts]
390
00:17:02,107 --> 00:17:05,113
[birds twittering]
391
00:17:08,704 --> 00:17:10,330
Tiger, what is that technique?
392
00:17:10,331 --> 00:17:11,457
You can't just yank it
out of the ground.
393
00:17:11,458 --> 00:17:13,169
You use your trowel, okay?
394
00:17:13,170 --> 00:17:16,009
Four quick scoops, loosen the soil,
395
00:17:16,010 --> 00:17:18,932
then you just let the beet come to you.
396
00:17:21,145 --> 00:17:22,981
Ow! Gah.
397
00:17:22,982 --> 00:17:25,235
Doesn't count, okay?
You stole it from my basket.
398
00:17:25,236 --> 00:17:27,239
I am not... I am not a farmer, okay?
399
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:29,661
I'm not meant to work the land.
400
00:17:29,662 --> 00:17:31,957
I'm a fighter, and I need
some goddamn action.
401
00:17:31,958 --> 00:17:35,130
Plus, to top it all off,
I've been shitting blood.
402
00:17:35,131 --> 00:17:36,717
It's probably just the beets.
403
00:17:36,718 --> 00:17:38,428
I wish it were blood.
404
00:17:38,429 --> 00:17:39,890
Look, I don't get
what you're complaining about.
405
00:17:39,891 --> 00:17:41,852
We are doing honest work
for honest wages.
406
00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:43,271
[groans] Boo!
407
00:17:43,272 --> 00:17:44,858
Excuse me, all right?
408
00:17:44,859 --> 00:17:46,194
For the first time in, like, ever,
409
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:47,989
we're not being chased
by anybody and we're safe.
410
00:17:47,990 --> 00:17:49,158
And I'm good at something.
411
00:17:49,159 --> 00:17:50,578
That's what sucks about this place.
412
00:17:50,579 --> 00:17:52,708
It's so boring, even you're good at it.
413
00:17:53,752 --> 00:17:56,172
- Hey, tell me...
- [inspiring music]
414
00:17:56,173 --> 00:17:59,303
just... just tell me again
about The DieCathlon.
415
00:17:59,304 --> 00:18:02,017
- Oh, God. Do I have to?
- Uh-huh.
416
00:18:02,018 --> 00:18:04,188
♪ ♪
417
00:18:04,189 --> 00:18:06,150
You were dominant. Powerful.
418
00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:08,363
I was the best, right? I had trophies.
419
00:18:08,364 --> 00:18:10,117
Yes, Tiger. New trophies every day.
420
00:18:10,118 --> 00:18:12,079
- Mostly horns and teeth.
- Mmm...
421
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:15,127
On Day 27 you did befriend
a Hobgoblin named Gerty.
422
00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:17,256
Gerty, eh? I like that.
423
00:18:17,257 --> 00:18:19,678
Then you, uh, stabbed her
in the throat once you realized
424
00:18:19,679 --> 00:18:21,807
she was just after
your magical juniper berries.
425
00:18:21,808 --> 00:18:24,437
Sounds like I was happy.
426
00:18:24,438 --> 00:18:27,484
Yeah... yeah, I mean,
you did smile a lot.
427
00:18:27,485 --> 00:18:30,575
Not sure it was the healthiest
form of happiness...
428
00:18:30,576 --> 00:18:34,206
Truth is, no feeling can
compare to the pure joy
429
00:18:34,207 --> 00:18:38,173
that you experience when
you pull out a Hall of Famer
430
00:18:38,174 --> 00:18:40,636
like this one. Look at this guy!
431
00:18:40,637 --> 00:18:43,391
- Oh, man.
- Okay, we're done.
432
00:18:43,392 --> 00:18:45,897
Come on.
433
00:18:45,898 --> 00:18:48,944
You're not the only one
who's got a trophy, Tiger!
434
00:18:48,945 --> 00:18:50,447
[whooshing]
435
00:18:50,448 --> 00:18:52,870
[helicopter whirring]
436
00:18:55,416 --> 00:18:57,002
THE VOICE: I'm with her, Josh.
437
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:59,465
You've got to keep
your eyes on the prize.
438
00:18:59,466 --> 00:19:02,054
Remember, that prize is home.
439
00:19:02,055 --> 00:19:03,974
Yeah, I know,
but getting the TTD from her
440
00:19:03,975 --> 00:19:06,145
is, like, impossible
and this is really easy.
441
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:07,774
THE VOICE: If you cannot take it,
442
00:19:07,775 --> 00:19:09,986
you'll have to convince her
to leave this time
443
00:19:09,987 --> 00:19:11,615
and bring you to me.
444
00:19:11,616 --> 00:19:13,786
You're right...
445
00:19:13,787 --> 00:19:15,790
I don't know, I just didn't
expect this horrible place
446
00:19:15,791 --> 00:19:18,629
to contain such unexpected beauty.
447
00:19:18,630 --> 00:19:21,217
[light music]
448
00:19:21,218 --> 00:19:25,225
[sniffs, exhales]
449
00:19:25,226 --> 00:19:28,231
[chicken clucking]
450
00:19:28,232 --> 00:19:35,204
♪ ♪
451
00:19:42,427 --> 00:19:45,224
[hammer thudding]
452
00:20:00,171 --> 00:20:02,926
[sniffing]
453
00:20:02,927 --> 00:20:05,556
[gunfire echoing]
454
00:20:05,557 --> 00:20:08,394
[groans] This is unbearable.
455
00:20:08,395 --> 00:20:11,777
I know. Thousands of people dying.
456
00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:14,239
World War I was the worst.
457
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,410
No, that part's white noise.
458
00:20:16,411 --> 00:20:19,626
[sighs] I'm talking about this hay.
459
00:20:19,627 --> 00:20:21,672
Soldiers are getting
slaughtered in trenches
460
00:20:21,673 --> 00:20:23,884
and you're complaining about hay?
461
00:20:23,885 --> 00:20:25,930
Trenches, huh? Mm.
462
00:20:25,931 --> 00:20:29,186
Sewers with a view.
God, I love me a trench.
463
00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:30,940
THE VOICE: Josh, an opening!
464
00:20:30,941 --> 00:20:33,529
Convince her to leave this foul time.
465
00:20:33,530 --> 00:20:35,198
Oh, no.
466
00:20:35,199 --> 00:20:37,829
No, you don't. Not this kind of trench.
467
00:20:37,830 --> 00:20:39,123
I mean, to be honest, we should be
468
00:20:39,124 --> 00:20:41,460
as far away from here
right now as possible.
469
00:20:41,461 --> 00:20:43,423
I'm talking about
killing fields, just...
470
00:20:43,424 --> 00:20:46,722
just festering with disease and rot.
471
00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:48,767
And if you weren't mowed down
by machine gunfire,
472
00:20:48,768 --> 00:20:51,188
then the poison gas
would just fill your lungs
473
00:20:51,189 --> 00:20:53,736
and kill you from the inside out.
474
00:20:53,737 --> 00:20:57,660
- Your face would just melt off.
- Then what happened?
475
00:20:57,661 --> 00:21:01,668
Uh... tanks and horses
476
00:21:01,669 --> 00:21:03,421
sharing the same battlefields.
477
00:21:03,422 --> 00:21:07,930
Heavy machinery
being pulled by horses...
478
00:21:07,931 --> 00:21:11,772
and then there were,
like, men screaming and...
479
00:21:11,773 --> 00:21:13,984
and horses whinnying.
480
00:21:13,985 --> 00:21:16,197
Really leaning into
the "horse" of it all, here.
481
00:21:16,198 --> 00:21:18,577
Well, full disclosure,
I'm kind of basing most of this
482
00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:21,415
on the movie War Horse.
483
00:21:21,416 --> 00:21:25,131
My mom took me to see it,
and I did not enjoy it.
484
00:21:25,132 --> 00:21:26,551
So how did this war end?
485
00:21:26,552 --> 00:21:28,514
Horribly. Everyone died.
486
00:21:28,515 --> 00:21:30,225
I mean, they had
to make up new rules of combat
487
00:21:30,226 --> 00:21:32,730
to make sure it never happened again.
488
00:21:32,731 --> 00:21:34,651
Sounds like the war to end all wars.
489
00:21:34,652 --> 00:21:35,986
Look, judging by the sound
of that artillery,
490
00:21:35,987 --> 00:21:37,489
it's getting closer day by day.
491
00:21:37,490 --> 00:21:39,201
We need to get that TTD and get the...
492
00:21:39,202 --> 00:21:41,080
Ah, I can't take this anymore.
493
00:21:41,081 --> 00:21:43,334
- Give me your shirt.
- What, no?
494
00:21:43,335 --> 00:21:44,963
It's the only thing
between me and the weevils!
495
00:21:44,964 --> 00:21:48,136
[grunting]
496
00:21:48,137 --> 00:21:54,983
♪ ♪
497
00:21:54,984 --> 00:21:58,699
[groans loudly]
498
00:21:58,700 --> 00:22:01,830
[exhales]
499
00:22:01,831 --> 00:22:03,040
[grunts]
500
00:22:03,041 --> 00:22:05,379
[groans]
501
00:22:08,302 --> 00:22:10,180
[exhales]
502
00:22:10,181 --> 00:22:17,194
♪ ♪
503
00:22:17,195 --> 00:22:20,241
[romantic music playing softly]
504
00:22:20,242 --> 00:22:22,622
[door clicks open, creaks]
505
00:22:22,623 --> 00:22:24,793
[singer singing in foreign language]
506
00:22:58,569 --> 00:22:59,989
[sighs]
507
00:23:02,828 --> 00:23:04,665
[pitcher thuds]
508
00:23:07,169 --> 00:23:08,548
Ah...
509
00:23:10,342 --> 00:23:11,887
Not here.
510
00:23:14,229 --> 00:23:17,880
Let's say we take that
big comfy bed for a spin.
511
00:23:17,881 --> 00:23:23,995
♪ ♪
512
00:23:33,890 --> 00:23:37,270
Oh, my sweet Dasha.
513
00:23:37,271 --> 00:23:39,442
What have they done to you?
514
00:23:58,021 --> 00:24:00,108
Let them watch.
515
00:24:00,109 --> 00:24:02,738
[passionate music]
516
00:24:02,739 --> 00:24:08,834
♪ ♪
517
00:24:08,835 --> 00:24:11,757
[singer singing in foreign language]
518
00:24:43,236 --> 00:24:46,618
[breathing heavily, moaning]
519
00:24:46,619 --> 00:24:49,625
[groaning]
520
00:24:52,964 --> 00:24:55,970
[Dasha shouting wildly]
521
00:24:57,682 --> 00:25:03,026
♪ ♪
522
00:25:40,434 --> 00:25:42,478
[sighs]
523
00:25:42,479 --> 00:25:43,983
Yeah...
524
00:25:45,612 --> 00:25:49,492
I didn't understand
a word of that, but...
525
00:25:49,493 --> 00:25:51,749
you want me to eat that ass again?
526
00:25:53,669 --> 00:25:55,547
Da.
527
00:25:55,548 --> 00:26:02,562
♪ ♪
528
00:26:04,023 --> 00:26:07,236
[moaning]
529
00:26:07,237 --> 00:26:12,372
[shouting]
530
00:26:12,373 --> 00:26:14,292
♪ This is the muffle song ♪
531
00:26:14,293 --> 00:26:16,463
♪ Let's all sing the muffle song ♪
532
00:26:16,464 --> 00:26:19,260
♪ This is the muffle song ♪
Tiger, come on.
533
00:26:19,261 --> 00:26:21,641
We gotta do it together
or it doesn't work.
534
00:26:21,642 --> 00:26:24,647
[dramatic music]
535
00:26:24,648 --> 00:26:27,821
♪ ♪
536
00:26:29,783 --> 00:26:32,956
[rooster cawing]
537
00:26:40,722 --> 00:26:42,391
[groans softly]
538
00:26:45,898 --> 00:26:48,444
All right, good times.
I'll see you tonight.
539
00:26:48,445 --> 00:26:49,948
[shirt sloshes]
540
00:26:51,910 --> 00:26:53,872
[door creaks open, close]
541
00:26:53,873 --> 00:26:56,878
[light music]
542
00:26:56,879 --> 00:27:02,974
♪ ♪
543
00:27:10,740 --> 00:27:15,372
It's Wolf-Hart.
He set her humanity aflame.
544
00:27:15,373 --> 00:27:19,130
[dramatic music]
545
00:27:19,131 --> 00:27:20,717
Let's move.
546
00:27:20,718 --> 00:27:22,053
This is no longer a capture mission.
547
00:27:22,054 --> 00:27:23,347
It's a kill mission.
548
00:27:23,348 --> 00:27:26,228
Bring me the killing machine.
549
00:27:26,229 --> 00:27:29,818
In Ancient Sparta, there is
the legend of the 300.
550
00:27:29,819 --> 00:27:31,906
We synthesized time-jacked DNA
551
00:27:31,907 --> 00:27:34,620
from 299 of these elite warriors.
552
00:27:34,621 --> 00:27:36,582
One of them, the hunchback,
he was kind of creepy
553
00:27:36,583 --> 00:27:38,210
and couldn't fight,
we didn't bother with,
554
00:27:38,211 --> 00:27:39,588
but the others,
555
00:27:39,589 --> 00:27:42,134
we suited with our most
advanced human exo-armor
556
00:27:42,135 --> 00:27:44,097
to create the ultimate warrior.
557
00:27:44,098 --> 00:27:46,268
When all human options have failed,
558
00:27:46,269 --> 00:27:49,024
we bring in the killing machine.
559
00:27:54,410 --> 00:27:57,415
[Russian music playing]
560
00:27:57,416 --> 00:28:00,274
♪ ♪
561
00:28:00,275 --> 00:28:01,735
[both speaking Russian]
562
00:28:28,144 --> 00:28:30,273
I wanna fight in
your war to end all wars.
563
00:28:33,947 --> 00:28:36,953
[laughter]
564
00:28:44,093 --> 00:28:47,098
[all groaning]
565
00:28:47,099 --> 00:28:51,817
♪ ♪
566
00:28:53,277 --> 00:28:54,905
I just woke up with
a note pinned to my shirt
567
00:28:54,906 --> 00:28:57,661
saying I'm supposed
to give you this data cube.
568
00:28:57,662 --> 00:28:59,288
Now, the note's written
in my handwriting
569
00:28:59,289 --> 00:29:01,292
and I don't remember
writing any of it, so I...
570
00:29:01,293 --> 00:29:02,713
Shut up! Go away.
571
00:29:02,714 --> 00:29:04,173
Wipe this from your memory, too.
572
00:29:04,174 --> 00:29:05,844
Okay...
573
00:29:05,845 --> 00:29:08,850
[dramatic music]
574
00:29:08,851 --> 00:29:14,611
♪ ♪
575
00:29:14,612 --> 00:29:17,074
You did have help...
576
00:29:17,075 --> 00:29:20,624
from exactly whom I thought.
577
00:29:22,294 --> 00:29:26,594
♪ ♪
578
00:29:26,595 --> 00:29:28,180
[door creaks]
579
00:29:28,181 --> 00:29:29,516
Good news.
580
00:29:29,517 --> 00:29:31,144
We can sleep in the house now,
581
00:29:31,145 --> 00:29:32,438
and, uh, here's your shirt back.
582
00:29:32,439 --> 00:29:34,651
[shirt sloshes]
583
00:29:34,652 --> 00:29:36,822
[groans] Why is it wet?
584
00:29:36,823 --> 00:29:38,743
Oh, that's mostly Dasha.
585
00:29:38,744 --> 00:29:40,413
Where's Tiger?
586
00:29:42,835 --> 00:29:45,548
♪ ♪
587
00:29:45,549 --> 00:29:47,259
I have no idea.
588
00:29:47,260 --> 00:29:49,013
Maybe she's taking a walk or something.
589
00:29:49,014 --> 00:29:51,727
Wait... someone's here.
590
00:29:51,728 --> 00:29:55,903
♪ ♪
591
00:29:58,324 --> 00:30:01,998
[sentimental music]
592
00:30:13,814 --> 00:30:20,201
♪ ♪
593
00:30:29,344 --> 00:30:32,349
[dramatic music]
594
00:30:32,350 --> 00:30:39,322
♪ ♪
595
00:30:39,323 --> 00:30:41,492
WOLF: There's the third one.
596
00:30:41,493 --> 00:30:42,913
I count at least three.
597
00:30:42,914 --> 00:30:44,833
We need to blow this beet stand.
598
00:30:44,834 --> 00:30:46,169
Okay, I've got the TTD.
599
00:30:46,170 --> 00:30:48,048
I bet I can figure out
how to get us out of here.
600
00:30:48,049 --> 00:30:49,509
- Right?
- THE VOICE: Yes, yes.
601
00:30:49,510 --> 00:30:51,220
At long last, my friend.
602
00:30:51,221 --> 00:30:53,684
You asking or telling?
It doesn't matter.
603
00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:56,690
♪ ♪
604
00:30:56,691 --> 00:30:59,362
It's killing time.
605
00:30:59,363 --> 00:31:01,115
Okay, uh, how do I work this thing?
606
00:31:01,116 --> 00:31:02,451
THE VOICE: With your mind.
607
00:31:02,452 --> 00:31:04,915
Picture a square in eight dimensions.
608
00:31:04,916 --> 00:31:06,250
That's step one.
609
00:31:06,251 --> 00:31:13,182
♪ ♪
610
00:31:14,184 --> 00:31:15,521
- WOLF: Axe!
- [groans]
611
00:31:20,948 --> 00:31:22,492
- WOLF: Axe!
- [yelps]
612
00:31:30,091 --> 00:31:32,595
- WOLF: Axe!
- [groans]
613
00:31:32,596 --> 00:31:35,393
[grunting] Body spray.
614
00:31:39,151 --> 00:31:42,156
[light music]
615
00:31:42,157 --> 00:31:45,328
♪ ♪
616
00:31:45,329 --> 00:31:49,713
"His curious tongue gently
circled, daring, teasing,
617
00:31:49,714 --> 00:31:52,384
"both rhythmic and arrhythmic
at the same time,
618
00:31:52,385 --> 00:31:54,848
like American Jazz."
619
00:31:54,849 --> 00:31:57,812
[laser blasting]
620
00:31:57,813 --> 00:32:01,277
[gunshots firing]
621
00:32:01,278 --> 00:32:03,950
[sighs] God, I missed this shit.
622
00:32:10,714 --> 00:32:12,967
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
623
00:32:12,968 --> 00:32:16,099
Oh, it's gonna be hard to miss this guy.
624
00:32:16,100 --> 00:32:17,602
[gun cocks]
625
00:32:17,603 --> 00:32:20,148
[dramatic music]
626
00:32:20,149 --> 00:32:22,987
- [gun clicks]
- Oh.
627
00:32:22,988 --> 00:32:25,868
Guess I shouldn't have wasted
the ammo on the old man
628
00:32:25,869 --> 00:32:28,081
and the boy,
but they laughed at me, Wolf.
629
00:32:28,082 --> 00:32:29,334
They laughed.
630
00:32:31,923 --> 00:32:33,676
WOLF: Run!
631
00:32:33,677 --> 00:32:39,019
♪ ♪
632
00:32:39,020 --> 00:32:40,272
THE VOICE: Rotate the tesseract,
633
00:32:40,273 --> 00:32:41,984
but only three quarters.
634
00:32:41,985 --> 00:32:43,654
Now, flatten it.
635
00:32:43,655 --> 00:32:45,741
- Hey. Give me that.
- No.
636
00:32:45,742 --> 00:32:47,954
I got it, I'm taking us somewhere safe.
637
00:32:47,955 --> 00:32:52,463
♪ ♪
638
00:32:56,096 --> 00:32:58,474
Where are we?
639
00:32:58,475 --> 00:33:02,024
Exactly where we're meant to be.
640
00:33:02,025 --> 00:33:05,030
[triumphant music]
641
00:33:05,031 --> 00:33:06,449
Don't worry, guys, okay?
642
00:33:06,450 --> 00:33:08,829
We're gonna be very, very safe here.
643
00:33:08,830 --> 00:33:10,457
[dramatic music]
644
00:33:10,458 --> 00:33:12,127
[men shouting, guns cocking]
645
00:33:12,128 --> 00:33:14,717
Uh... maybe safer over here.
646
00:33:17,765 --> 00:33:20,436
[all shouting]
647
00:33:22,232 --> 00:33:23,609
Hachi...
648
00:33:23,610 --> 00:33:26,197
If you say, "machi,"
I'll kill you myself.
649
00:33:26,198 --> 00:33:29,204
[men shouting]
650
00:33:32,039 --> 00:33:37,039
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com