1
00:00:05,444 --> 00:00:07,988
Michael, a demon has infiltrated the group.

2
00:00:08,531 --> 00:00:10,241
Not just any demon.

3
00:00:10,533 --> 00:00:14,370
Trevor is a diabolical, sadistic
agent of evil.

4
00:00:14,703 --> 00:00:18,415
Might just be the single most dangerous
creature in the universe.

5
00:00:18,874 --> 00:00:21,752
Who wants lemon bars?

6
00:00:22,002 --> 00:00:25,005
It's my nana's recipe
and they are just sinful.

7
00:00:25,047 --> 00:00:27,967
Love 'em on my lips but hate 'em on my hips,
if you know what I mean.

8
00:00:28,050 --> 00:00:30,553
Alright, new guy, comin' in strong
with free dessert.

9
00:00:30,636 --> 00:00:33,973
You must be Eleanor, the reason
this is all happening.

10
00:00:34,098 --> 00:00:36,767
I am. That's so nice to hear someone say

11
00:00:36,851 --> 00:00:38,561
"Eleanor, you're the reason
this is all happening"

12
00:00:38,644 --> 00:00:40,396
who isn't a judge in small claims court.

13
00:00:40,813 --> 00:00:42,439
Thank you for this, Eleanor.

14
00:00:42,523 --> 00:00:44,775
It's a wonderful thing you've done.

15
00:00:44,942 --> 00:00:47,069
Mm... Happy to help you out, buddy.

16
00:00:47,945 --> 00:00:49,280
Oh, we're doing a long hug!

17
00:00:50,447 --> 00:00:52,241
- Are you crying?
- I'm sorry, I...

18
00:00:52,783 --> 00:00:56,120
God, I'm just so happy to be here,
if that makes sense.

19
00:00:56,245 --> 00:00:58,831
CHIDI:
OK, the five of us narrowly avoided death.

20
00:00:58,998 --> 00:01:00,249
The operating theory

21
00:01:00,332 --> 00:01:02,251
- of this experiment is that--
- EERIE SOUND CRESCENDOS

22
00:01:08,841 --> 00:01:12,094
So, I give them ethics problems
and we scan their brains

23
00:01:12,178 --> 00:01:14,305
and we get a sense
of their baseline moral instincts.

24
00:01:14,430 --> 00:01:15,848
Right. Then I'll show them pictures

25
00:01:15,931 --> 00:01:17,975
that trigger memories
of their near-death experiences.

26
00:01:18,058 --> 00:01:20,811
We'll scan again,
and see if we get a different result.

27
00:01:21,228 --> 00:01:24,815
For example, I'll show Jason
pictures of: a safe...

28
00:01:25,274 --> 00:01:27,484
a snorkel, and whip-it canisters.

29
00:01:27,651 --> 00:01:31,363
Got it. Also, what a grim death
that would've been.

30
00:01:31,655 --> 00:01:34,074
Darling, do you remember all the rules
about what can

31
00:01:34,158 --> 00:01:36,160
and cannot be worn inside an MRI?

32
00:01:36,368 --> 00:01:40,247
More specifically,
what if one's brassiere is very thin

33
00:01:40,623 --> 00:01:43,250
but also very pure... gold.

34
00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:46,754
I dunno but I'm in a similar "situ-aysh"

35
00:01:46,837 --> 00:01:49,798
because the sports bra I'm wearing
is kind of rust-coloured

36
00:01:49,882 --> 00:01:53,302
underneath the armpits, so I guess
we'll roll the dice together.

37
00:01:53,802 --> 00:01:56,388
Hey, Eleanor, do I have
the right phone number for you?

38
00:01:56,472 --> 00:01:59,558
You haven't responded
to any of the dank memes I've sent!

39
00:01:59,642 --> 00:02:01,060
Oh, yeah, I...

40
00:02:01,143 --> 00:02:03,646
cos I was laughing too hard to reply.

41
00:02:03,771 --> 00:02:06,690
OK, what's your "fave?"
Cos mine's "Damn, Daniel!"

42
00:02:06,857 --> 00:02:08,984
"Back at it again with the white Vans!"

43
00:02:09,693 --> 00:02:11,987
- Should we get started maybe?
- JASON: Oh, Mrs Teacher...

44
00:02:12,071 --> 00:02:13,989
for my turn,
is there any way to get like...

45
00:02:14,823 --> 00:02:18,911
- extra radiation?
- There is no radiation in an MRI.

46
00:02:18,994 --> 00:02:21,080
- But why do you ask?
- Uh, no reason.

47
00:02:21,163 --> 00:02:23,832
ELEANOR: Jason, what have you got
in your hand there, bud?

48
00:02:23,916 --> 00:02:25,709
- Nothing.
- Is it a spider?

49
00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:28,754
- Yes.
- Do you think taking a spider

50
00:02:28,837 --> 00:02:31,257
in an MRI machine
will give you super powers?

51
00:02:31,340 --> 00:02:33,676
Hey, it might work. He already bit me
a bunch of times

52
00:02:33,717 --> 00:02:36,053
and gave me the power to swell up my hand!

53
00:02:36,136 --> 00:02:38,097
TAHANI: Oh, my God!
- What?

54
00:02:41,016 --> 00:02:44,603
- Trevor.
- Hey, Mikey, fancy seeing you down on Earth

55
00:02:44,687 --> 00:02:46,522
completely illegally.

56
00:02:46,772 --> 00:02:48,023
Sweet outfit.

57
00:02:48,107 --> 00:02:52,069
Dick Tracy called, he said you're a butt-face
and he's been ploughing your mum.

58
00:02:52,111 --> 00:02:54,321
Yeah, well,
Dick Tracy called me too, first.

59
00:02:54,655 --> 00:02:57,908
And he said he was about to call you
and say a lie about me

60
00:02:57,992 --> 00:03:00,869
that was actually true about you, instead.

61
00:03:01,829 --> 00:03:02,705
Whatever.

62
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:04,873
What are you doing here, Trevor?

63
00:03:04,957 --> 00:03:07,543
Shawn hacked the Judge's system,
and we caught you cheating

64
00:03:07,626 --> 00:03:09,878
getting your four little cockroaches
to meet up.

65
00:03:09,962 --> 00:03:13,632
What? You think we were just gonna sit
around in the Bad Place blowin' beefers

66
00:03:13,716 --> 00:03:16,343
while you're down on Earth
boning us in the meat-hole?

67
00:03:16,510 --> 00:03:19,305
So, why didn't Shawn just go
to the Judge and turn me in?

68
00:03:19,430 --> 00:03:22,016
Because this way's more fun, knuckle-nuts!

69
00:03:22,099 --> 00:03:23,392
First of all...

70
00:03:23,517 --> 00:03:26,937
I'm currently formulating a better comeback
to your Dick Tracy burn

71
00:03:27,104 --> 00:03:28,814
and it's gonna devastate you.

72
00:03:28,856 --> 00:03:30,482
Second, you're too late...

73
00:03:30,566 --> 00:03:33,152
because when I did this experiment
in my Neighbourhood

74
00:03:33,235 --> 00:03:37,614
every time Eleanor asked Chidi for help,
their bond became unbreakable

75
00:03:37,656 --> 00:03:39,908
and the entire group improved.

76
00:03:39,992 --> 00:03:41,410
No, you're right.

77
00:03:41,493 --> 00:03:45,998
There's no way I'll get one of these bozos
to drop out of an unpaid

78
00:03:46,081 --> 00:03:49,626
rigorous academic, study, especially
when they're doing it with me...

79
00:03:49,710 --> 00:03:51,837
their overeager new best friend.

80
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,173
Well, I should head back.
You want to come with?

81
00:03:54,256 --> 00:03:57,009
Oh, right, they've all seen you already

82
00:03:57,051 --> 00:03:59,636
so you can't show your
face to them again...

83
00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,389
so you're powerless to stop me.

84
00:04:02,681 --> 00:04:04,391
Later days, dingus.

85
00:04:05,059 --> 00:04:08,437
HE STAMMERS:
Dick Tracy called back, on his watch phone

86
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,522
and said you better watch out!

87
00:04:11,106 --> 00:04:13,108
Shoot. A second too late.

88
00:04:13,776 --> 00:04:18,697
OK, uh, Simone's gotta analyse the scans,
so why don't the rest of you head home?

89
00:04:18,906 --> 00:04:21,325
- Good first day, everyone.
- Hey, Teach. Um...

90
00:04:22,534 --> 00:04:23,827
do you think maybe...

91
00:04:24,453 --> 00:04:27,664
we could continue the one-on-one lessons
on the side?

92
00:04:27,831 --> 00:04:30,542
I feel like, last week, I had my own
personal ninja master

93
00:04:30,709 --> 00:04:35,297
and now I'm taking tai chi
with bunch of farting housewives.

94
00:04:36,298 --> 00:04:39,468
Between the new project and my classes,
I won't have time.

95
00:04:39,551 --> 00:04:42,721
But this is way better!
You're still gonna learn a lot

96
00:04:42,805 --> 00:04:45,724
and you'll have a fun group of people
to study with outside of class!

97
00:04:46,058 --> 00:04:47,726
- But...
- TREVOR: Hey, gang!

98
00:04:47,768 --> 00:04:49,561
I just had a neat idea.

99
00:04:49,895 --> 00:04:51,105
Let's all go sight seeing.

100
00:04:51,188 --> 00:04:53,649
- Dope!
- Yeah, we can check out Sydney

101
00:04:53,732 --> 00:04:55,943
get to know each other, bond.

102
00:04:55,984 --> 00:04:58,904
What do you say, E-Street Band,
you up for a Segway tour of...

103
00:04:58,987 --> 00:05:00,823
IN A BAD AUSTRALIAN ACCENT:
Australia, mate?

104
00:05:01,115 --> 00:05:04,368
This is a knife, on the barbie.

105
00:05:04,410 --> 00:05:06,078
Cool idea.

106
00:05:06,161 --> 00:05:08,622
I'm just worried that maybe
it's too cool.

107
00:05:08,831 --> 00:05:12,751
I think I'm just gonna find the nearest bar,
have one or eight drinks and hit the hay.

108
00:05:12,793 --> 00:05:14,211
Even better, we'll all go

109
00:05:14,294 --> 00:05:16,130
IN A BAD AUSTRALIAN ACCENT:
"bend an elbow".

110
00:05:16,213 --> 00:05:19,800
Actually, I know the perfect place
for homesick Americans!

111
00:05:22,553 --> 00:05:23,762
WAITRESS:
Hi, dudes!

112
00:05:23,846 --> 00:05:26,306
Welcome to the Cowboy
Skyscraper Buffet!

113
00:05:26,390 --> 00:05:30,811
Oh, hey, can we get the Florida table?
They absolutely nail the swamp stench!

114
00:05:31,186 --> 00:05:33,021
Aw, someone's seated there.

115
00:05:33,105 --> 00:05:36,692
But if you purchase our "Manifest Destiny"
package for 30 dollars

116
00:05:36,775 --> 00:05:39,445
you can have anyone you want
forcibly removed from the table.

117
00:05:39,486 --> 00:05:40,946
We'll just sit anywhere.

118
00:05:40,988 --> 00:05:43,782
When your table's ready,
this gun will go off!

119
00:05:45,742 --> 00:05:47,703
I think... this is real.

120
00:05:48,203 --> 00:05:50,330
COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS

121
00:05:51,748 --> 00:05:53,083
TREVOR:
So listen up, y'all.

122
00:05:53,125 --> 00:05:55,461
I was so excited to join the group

123
00:05:55,544 --> 00:05:58,922
that I made sweatshirts!

124
00:05:59,256 --> 00:06:00,466
You get a sweatshirt.

125
00:06:00,966 --> 00:06:02,301
You get a sweatshirt.

126
00:06:02,342 --> 00:06:03,802
- You get a sweatshirt.
- I get a sweatshirt.

127
00:06:03,886 --> 00:06:05,053
The Brain-y Bunch.

128
00:06:05,137 --> 00:06:07,222
JASON:
Awesome! I love being on teams!

129
00:06:07,306 --> 00:06:09,349
And if we're on a
team now, we need nicknames!

130
00:06:09,433 --> 00:06:13,187
Optimus, Bumblebee, Jazz, uh...
Megatron.

131
00:06:13,270 --> 00:06:16,190
That's what you can each call me.
Now we need nicknames for you guys.

132
00:06:16,315 --> 00:06:18,150
Ah, this is the best!

133
00:06:18,233 --> 00:06:21,278
I'm gonna get the first round
and we are all gonna toast to Eleanor

134
00:06:21,612 --> 00:06:24,823
- The reason we're all here! Yay, Eleanor!
- THEY CHEER

135
00:06:25,407 --> 00:06:28,494
Oh, well if you guys are celebrating,
I recommend the jalapeño poppers.

136
00:06:28,535 --> 00:06:30,412
Hi there, I'm Janet.

137
00:06:30,496 --> 00:06:31,830
I'll be taking care of you tonight.

138
00:06:34,875 --> 00:06:36,585
Can I get you started with some drinks?

139
00:06:36,668 --> 00:06:39,880
Our specialty cocktail tonight
is "The Fourth of July".

140
00:06:39,922 --> 00:06:43,634
It's half an apple pie, blended
with Southern Comfort and Coca Cola

141
00:06:43,675 --> 00:06:45,469
served in a Chevy hubcap.
SHE CHUCKLES

142
00:06:45,511 --> 00:06:47,971
Why don't you just go get us
a round of beers?

143
00:06:48,013 --> 00:06:49,348
Of course. Here you go...

144
00:06:50,891 --> 00:06:53,644
SHE CHUCKLES
Sorry... I... will...

145
00:06:53,727 --> 00:06:56,021
go... physically... pick those up...

146
00:06:56,647 --> 00:07:01,026
I guess, and... then walk them
back here with my feet.

147
00:07:01,610 --> 00:07:03,612
But just so you know,
I will be here all night.

148
00:07:03,987 --> 00:07:05,989
Watching everything...

149
00:07:06,365 --> 00:07:08,951
that... you... order.

150
00:07:10,994 --> 00:07:14,998
So, Ellie Baby. Brainstorm.
We should get a house!

151
00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:19,753
Me, you, Tahani, Jason,
we should all go in together on a place!

152
00:07:19,836 --> 00:07:21,755
- Roomies!
- Roomies!

153
00:07:22,005 --> 00:07:23,215
That is...

154
00:07:24,424 --> 00:07:25,592
technically an idea.

155
00:07:25,676 --> 00:07:28,095
I think it would be "supes" fun.
We could play pranks

156
00:07:28,136 --> 00:07:29,471
- on each other for my vlog.
- No.

157
00:07:29,555 --> 00:07:31,431
We could do one of those
ice bucket challenges

158
00:07:31,515 --> 00:07:32,641
- that I sent you.
- I don't think so.

159
00:07:32,766 --> 00:07:34,393
- Not!
- Or maybe just a Harlem Shake?

160
00:07:34,434 --> 00:07:35,936
TREVOR:
I like to cook.

161
00:07:36,019 --> 00:07:37,729
- And I have been dying to experiment
- Please stop.

162
00:07:37,813 --> 00:07:39,398
- IN BAD ACCENT:...with Jamaican food, man.
- Please stop now!

163
00:07:39,439 --> 00:07:40,732
I like-a Jamaican food.

164
00:07:40,857 --> 00:07:43,318
Listen to the reggae and smoke da joint.

165
00:07:43,402 --> 00:07:45,028
NORMAL VOICE:
That's a Jamaican accent.

166
00:07:47,489 --> 00:07:50,117
Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on!

167
00:07:50,158 --> 00:07:51,118
Hey, how's it going?

168
00:07:51,201 --> 00:07:54,913
Not good, Michael. I don't have my powers.
I can't summon things.

169
00:07:54,997 --> 00:07:56,748
Dictionary. Spaghetti.

170
00:07:57,374 --> 00:07:59,084
Jet-ski. Giraffe. Gah!

171
00:07:59,167 --> 00:08:00,669
Look what I've been reduced to!

172
00:08:00,711 --> 00:08:02,087
Humans only live 80 years

173
00:08:02,170 --> 00:08:05,299
and they spend so much of it
just waiting for things to be over.

174
00:08:05,382 --> 00:08:07,092
I'm all out of sorts down here, too.

175
00:08:07,134 --> 00:08:10,095
I'm bad at lying now.
That used to be my thing!

176
00:08:10,137 --> 00:08:13,348
And every part of my body is either
too dry or too wet.

177
00:08:13,432 --> 00:08:14,808
It's worse for me, man!

178
00:08:14,850 --> 00:08:19,021
Ever since we walked through that portal,
my knowledge has stopped updating.

179
00:08:19,313 --> 00:08:20,897
The instant before we left

180
00:08:20,981 --> 00:08:23,734
a man in Caracas, Venezuela
named Raul Benitez

181
00:08:23,817 --> 00:08:25,736
was eating a ham sandwich.

182
00:08:25,819 --> 00:08:29,197
Did he finish it? I don't know
and it's making me crazy!

183
00:08:29,281 --> 00:08:30,657
- I gotta find him.
- Janet!

184
00:08:31,033 --> 00:08:32,826
Focus on the mission!

185
00:08:32,909 --> 00:08:35,412
We have to get Trevor away from the humans.

186
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,751
I am so glad you came out with us, man!

187
00:08:40,917 --> 00:08:43,545
I just assumed you would think it's
unprofessional to be friends

188
00:08:43,629 --> 00:08:44,921
with the subjects of your study.

189
00:08:44,963 --> 00:08:46,506
No, I never thought that.

190
00:08:48,133 --> 00:08:49,760
I mean, I... I kind of do now.

191
00:08:50,010 --> 00:08:51,553
Should I not be socialising?

192
00:08:51,678 --> 00:08:54,389
I'm sure it's fine. I mean,
how much harm could it possibly do.

193
00:08:54,723 --> 00:08:55,724
Good point.

194
00:08:57,142 --> 00:09:00,437
Such a good point, that I'm gonna go think
about how good a point that is

195
00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:02,814
over there, by myself,
for several minutes. Excuse me.

196
00:09:04,858 --> 00:09:06,026
Hey, "El-Train"...

197
00:09:06,068 --> 00:09:09,655
you think with all these new <i>Star Wars</i> movies
they'll finally make a new <i>Spaceballs?</i>

198
00:09:09,738 --> 00:09:12,324
I'm sorry, I'm getting a text,
and I have to take this.

199
00:09:12,658 --> 00:09:14,493
OK, everybody...

200
00:09:14,534 --> 00:09:16,912
here are your beers

201
00:09:16,995 --> 00:09:20,290
and here is yours. Oh no!

202
00:09:20,332 --> 00:09:21,375
Oh...

203
00:09:21,458 --> 00:09:24,586
I guess you should go to the bathroom,
or maybe go home and never come back.

204
00:09:24,628 --> 00:09:26,505
No worries. I made extra sweatshirts!

205
00:09:26,546 --> 00:09:29,007
Besides, we're having
too much fun to leave.

206
00:09:29,049 --> 00:09:32,886
Hey, speaking of fun, I know this super-fun
drinking game we can play.

207
00:09:32,969 --> 00:09:37,391
Every time one of you says something
that the other can't relate to

208
00:09:37,474 --> 00:09:38,600
you both drink.

209
00:09:38,684 --> 00:09:42,145
Could be fun. I once played a drinking game
with Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively

210
00:09:42,229 --> 00:09:43,647
at their macrobiotic farm

211
00:09:43,772 --> 00:09:47,943
with a particularly robust batch
of homemade kombucha.

212
00:09:48,026 --> 00:09:50,570
Do I have to drink for every word
I don't know?

213
00:09:50,654 --> 00:09:52,572
Up to you. Just drink.

214
00:09:52,906 --> 00:09:55,117
Ooh, hey, what happened with Chidi

215
00:09:55,158 --> 00:09:56,284
and where's Eleanor?

216
00:09:56,368 --> 00:09:58,495
This... this...
this is all moving too fast!

217
00:09:58,537 --> 00:10:00,163
Can we just take Trevor out?

218
00:10:00,247 --> 00:10:02,791
I don't know if he can die, but I
could drop a steamroller on his head.

219
00:10:03,041 --> 00:10:05,210
Oh, darn it! I can't summon things!

220
00:10:05,252 --> 00:10:08,004
I guess I could kick him with my soft feet?

221
00:10:08,088 --> 00:10:10,465
- Earth sucks!
- You stay on Trevor.

222
00:10:10,590 --> 00:10:12,342
Keep interfering with his plan, alright?

223
00:10:12,426 --> 00:10:16,054
I'm gonna do my librarian act
and nudge Chidi back to the table.

224
00:10:17,889 --> 00:10:20,308
- Oh! Yummy!
- TAHANI AND JASON CHEER

225
00:10:20,392 --> 00:10:23,019
You gotta relax, man, you're off the clock.

226
00:10:23,103 --> 00:10:24,855
It's just a simple drink with friends

227
00:10:24,896 --> 00:10:26,440
at the world's worst restaurant.

228
00:10:26,523 --> 00:10:28,108
No, but Trevor's right.

229
00:10:28,191 --> 00:10:31,278
I might skew the study
by fraternising with the subjects.

230
00:10:31,361 --> 00:10:32,446
We can be colleagues.

231
00:10:32,487 --> 00:10:34,448
"Associates" is pushing it.

232
00:10:34,531 --> 00:10:38,326
And by even having this conversation,
you're becoming my confidant!

233
00:10:38,368 --> 00:10:39,995
I can't have that.

234
00:10:40,078 --> 00:10:44,750
Geez, I kinda thought that before everyone
else showed up, you and I were...

235
00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:47,294
like becoming actual friends.

236
00:10:48,086 --> 00:10:50,422
Oh no, you're right! What have I done?

237
00:10:50,464 --> 00:10:54,384
OK, OK. I... I'm gonna go...
to the bar and get you a hot tea.

238
00:10:54,468 --> 00:10:56,553
- OK.
- Or a regular-temperature Xanax.

239
00:10:56,636 --> 00:10:58,722
- Mm.
- Try not to fall apart.

240
00:11:00,891 --> 00:11:02,100
Professor Anagonye!

241
00:11:02,517 --> 00:11:04,478
Oh, yeah, I thought I recognised you.

242
00:11:04,519 --> 00:11:06,897
It's me, the librarian, from the library.

243
00:11:07,355 --> 00:11:09,024
Oh, right. Hi!

244
00:11:09,107 --> 00:11:12,486
Sorry, uh... I was just kind of
in the middle of something here.

245
00:11:12,527 --> 00:11:14,029
Well, maybe I can help.

246
00:11:14,404 --> 00:11:16,740
You know what I like to do
in situations like these?

247
00:11:17,491 --> 00:11:19,826
I haven't told you anything
about what I'm going through.

248
00:11:20,911 --> 00:11:22,162
Do that first.

249
00:11:22,245 --> 00:11:24,498
Then I'll tell you
what I'd do in situations

250
00:11:24,581 --> 00:11:26,374
such as the one you're about to describe.

251
00:11:26,458 --> 00:11:27,959
I've been in every situation.

252
00:11:28,293 --> 00:11:29,544
Cos I'm a librarian.

253
00:11:30,086 --> 00:11:31,087
Hit me, go ahead.

254
00:11:31,671 --> 00:11:34,007
TAHANI: Mm...
- Ah-la-la-la.

255
00:11:34,174 --> 00:11:35,717
- TREVOR LAUGHS
- I'm tired.

256
00:11:36,176 --> 00:11:37,677
Does anybody want a gallon of water

257
00:11:37,761 --> 00:11:39,387
- to sober up?
- TREVOR: No thanks, sweetheart.

258
00:11:39,471 --> 00:11:41,473
I just called a car for
these two lovebirds.

259
00:11:41,556 --> 00:11:43,558
So why don't you just bring us the cheque?

260
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:46,228
Oh, and you should smile more...

261
00:11:46,269 --> 00:11:47,687
you'll get bigger tips.

262
00:11:49,022 --> 00:11:51,441
- Gosh, you're pretty.
- No.

263
00:11:51,566 --> 00:11:52,526
You're pretty.

264
00:11:53,151 --> 00:11:54,611
Pretty beautiful.

265
00:11:56,029 --> 00:11:57,197
If you ask me, Chidi...

266
00:11:57,239 --> 00:12:00,742
you need to get back over there, you know,
spend time with the team.

267
00:12:00,784 --> 00:12:03,453
Though we do have a saying
in the library game.

268
00:12:03,537 --> 00:12:06,540
Uh... "There's only room
for one male subject

269
00:12:06,623 --> 00:12:07,958
in an academic study.

270
00:12:08,124 --> 00:12:10,710
So keep the one who got there first...

271
00:12:11,753 --> 00:12:13,755
- Catchy.
- Gotta go now.

272
00:12:13,839 --> 00:12:16,216
Closest thing I could find to herbal tea
was a root beer

273
00:12:16,299 --> 00:12:18,009
I had them throw in the microwave.

274
00:12:18,426 --> 00:12:19,886
Dou know what? Don't drink that!

275
00:12:20,428 --> 00:12:21,680
I think I'm just gonna head home.

276
00:12:21,721 --> 00:12:23,515
But you can go and spend time
with the others.

277
00:12:23,557 --> 00:12:26,434
Yeah, man, that's not really
what I signed up for.

278
00:12:26,518 --> 00:12:27,853
I mean, Tahani is... meh.

279
00:12:27,936 --> 00:12:29,521
But Jason, woof!

280
00:12:29,604 --> 00:12:31,106
And Trevor... urgh!

281
00:12:31,189 --> 00:12:34,234
They're not the reason I flew
all the way from Arizona.

282
00:12:35,151 --> 00:12:36,987
- You are.
- I'm sorry.

283
00:12:37,070 --> 00:12:38,697
Uh... but this is just...

284
00:12:39,573 --> 00:12:40,532
how it has to be.

285
00:12:41,241 --> 00:12:42,868
I'll, uh... I'll see you tomorrow.

286
00:12:44,703 --> 00:12:46,705
Hey, E-dog, get over here.

287
00:12:46,788 --> 00:12:48,248
It's trivia night.

288
00:12:48,290 --> 00:12:50,709
First round questions are
all about Logan Paul

289
00:12:50,834 --> 00:12:52,836
and you know I'm Lo-gang for life.

290
00:12:53,336 --> 00:12:54,921
QUIETLY:
Go put your head up your own butt.

291
00:12:55,005 --> 00:12:56,047
- What?
- What?

292
00:12:56,089 --> 00:12:56,882
What?

293
00:12:59,217 --> 00:13:00,844
TREVOR CHUCKLES

294
00:13:01,052 --> 00:13:04,014
Oh, don't you butt-necks ever give up?

295
00:13:04,389 --> 00:13:07,601
No, and what are you even doing in a
bathroom? You're a demon, you don't...

296
00:13:08,476 --> 00:13:10,395
- need it.
- I like the smells.

297
00:13:10,478 --> 00:13:12,314
And I like putting my hands in the toilet

298
00:13:12,397 --> 00:13:14,691
so everything I touch gets a little bit
of poop on it.

299
00:13:14,983 --> 00:13:16,818
Hey, you guys see what I did out there?

300
00:13:16,860 --> 00:13:21,156
I am so good, I got Eleanor
to leave a bar... early!

301
00:13:21,239 --> 00:13:24,367
Chidi's melting down,
Jason and Tahani just left together.

302
00:13:24,451 --> 00:13:26,995
If they hook up, she's on the first
private jet out of here.

303
00:13:27,037 --> 00:13:28,455
HE STUTTERS
This was too easy!

304
00:13:28,663 --> 00:13:31,082
Gonna take a lot more than that
to break up this group.

305
00:13:31,541 --> 00:13:33,376
Why don't you give up, Trevor?

306
00:13:33,460 --> 00:13:36,338
As long as we're here,
you'll never succeed.

307
00:13:36,421 --> 00:13:38,173
Maybe, but how long will that take?

308
00:13:38,256 --> 00:13:40,216
I mean, at some point
the Judge will find out

309
00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:42,260
that you're not in your little room
watching ticker tape.

310
00:13:42,761 --> 00:13:44,262
Right? Tick, tick, tick, tick.

311
00:13:44,930 --> 00:13:46,890
But hey, may the worst demon win.

312
00:13:47,432 --> 00:13:48,391
Good luck, Mikey.

313
00:13:50,226 --> 00:13:51,770
- Ha, poop hands!
- Oh!

314
00:13:51,853 --> 00:13:53,688
I can't believe you fell for that!
HE LAUGHS

315
00:13:57,943 --> 00:14:00,195
Are you alright?
You didn't sleep at all last night.

316
00:14:00,278 --> 00:14:02,489
Yeah, I got a solid eight minutes.

317
00:14:02,572 --> 00:14:04,908
Not consecutively, but still. It's fine!

318
00:14:05,408 --> 00:14:06,785
You're not even that blurry.

319
00:14:06,826 --> 00:14:08,161
You gotta take it easy, man.

320
00:14:08,203 --> 00:14:10,455
I mean, you're not sleeping.
Your eye is twitching.

321
00:14:10,538 --> 00:14:12,958
This study has to be airtight.

322
00:14:12,999 --> 00:14:16,086
And this ethical question of friendship

323
00:14:16,127 --> 00:14:18,088
with the subjects is weighing on me.

324
00:14:18,171 --> 00:14:19,464
I've done a million of these things.

325
00:14:19,547 --> 00:14:21,800
I promise I'll warn you
if you cross any lines.

326
00:14:21,883 --> 00:14:25,011
I don't want to come anywhere near
those lines!

327
00:14:25,261 --> 00:14:29,182
I have been waiting my entire career
for the right thesis

328
00:14:29,265 --> 00:14:31,017
and I am not going to blow it.

329
00:14:31,893 --> 00:14:33,353
I have to keep this professional.

330
00:14:33,395 --> 00:14:35,063
Fine. But you need to get some rest.

331
00:14:35,105 --> 00:14:37,524
This morning you bit into a raw egg
like it was an apple.

332
00:14:37,565 --> 00:14:39,609
I thought it was hard boiled.

333
00:14:39,943 --> 00:14:41,444
Yeah, but still the shell.

334
00:14:42,737 --> 00:14:44,864
This is the best secret friend
handshake, bro.

335
00:14:44,906 --> 00:14:46,074
And it goes...

336
00:14:46,199 --> 00:14:48,618
Attention everyone, do not look at me!

337
00:14:48,910 --> 00:14:51,079
Oh, I don't... don't know what to do.

338
00:14:51,121 --> 00:14:54,457
I am both over hung and humiliated

339
00:14:54,499 --> 00:14:56,876
by my uncouth comportment last night.

340
00:14:56,918 --> 00:14:59,504
Please accept
these formal letters of apology.

341
00:14:59,963 --> 00:15:01,798
Further apologies for their appearance.

342
00:15:01,881 --> 00:15:04,634
I just couldn't find a proper calligrapher
at five in the morning.

343
00:15:04,676 --> 00:15:07,429
So what happened to you two love birds
last night, huh?

344
00:15:07,512 --> 00:15:09,848
- Frankly, it is none of your business.
- Uh, sorry.

345
00:15:09,973 --> 00:15:12,809
Jason was a perfect gentleman last night.

346
00:15:13,268 --> 00:15:16,021
Thank you so much for
getting me home safely.

347
00:15:16,062 --> 00:15:20,316
I wouldn't blame you, should you
ostracise me for my boorish behaviour.

348
00:15:20,358 --> 00:15:22,068
You weren't boring, you were fun.

349
00:15:22,569 --> 00:15:26,031
Crazy story. After you got into the cab,
I forgot where I lived

350
00:15:26,114 --> 00:15:28,950
but then I looked across the street
and there was a motel.

351
00:15:29,617 --> 00:15:32,579
And behind that there was a dumpster.
I slept in a dumpster.

352
00:15:33,496 --> 00:15:35,790
- Jason!
- No, no, no, it was fine.

353
00:15:35,832 --> 00:15:38,209
And it was super fun getting to know you.

354
00:15:38,418 --> 00:15:40,211
You're the fanciest person I know.

355
00:15:40,253 --> 00:15:42,255
Next to my friend Ronnie,
who drives a limo.

356
00:15:42,380 --> 00:15:43,923
He's in limos all the time.

357
00:15:43,965 --> 00:15:45,759
Oh, what a life.

358
00:15:46,217 --> 00:15:49,220
Right. As soon as Eleanor gets here,
we'll begin.

359
00:15:49,304 --> 00:15:51,723
Bad news, prof,
Eleanor might not be coming.

360
00:15:51,765 --> 00:15:53,767
She bailed right after you did last night.

361
00:15:53,808 --> 00:15:57,771
Seemed like she was having second thoughts
about being part of the brainy bunch, so...

362
00:15:58,271 --> 00:15:59,564
Oh, well that's disappointing.

363
00:15:59,647 --> 00:16:00,774
In... in terms of...

364
00:16:01,357 --> 00:16:02,901
how it affects the study, but...

365
00:16:03,610 --> 00:16:05,862
we press on, like professionals.

366
00:16:08,406 --> 00:16:09,657
HE SIGHS

367
00:16:13,036 --> 00:16:14,662
- Hey, do you think I should--
- Yeah.

368
00:16:14,746 --> 00:16:16,998
And I already called you a car
because you should not drive.

369
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:18,875
- It's outside.
- Thanks.

370
00:16:23,296 --> 00:16:24,422
Where's outside?

371
00:16:28,718 --> 00:16:29,594
KNOCKING ON DOOR

372
00:16:31,638 --> 00:16:32,806
Hey, man.

373
00:16:36,392 --> 00:16:37,644
Are you OK?

374
00:16:37,769 --> 00:16:41,272
Sorry, uh, literally one second ago

375
00:16:42,023 --> 00:16:45,401
I was at the front desk.
Uh, don't know where I got this.

376
00:16:45,902 --> 00:16:48,363
HE CHUCKLES
Anyway, are you coming to class?

377
00:16:48,571 --> 00:16:49,948
SHE GROANS

378
00:16:50,365 --> 00:16:52,492
I just don't think the
group thing is for me.

379
00:16:52,575 --> 00:16:54,160
I'm better when it's one-on-one

380
00:16:54,285 --> 00:16:58,123
and we're both looking at our phones
and I don't know the other person

381
00:16:58,206 --> 00:17:01,167
and we don't talk.
I might just head back to Arizona.

382
00:17:01,668 --> 00:17:03,294
- HE SIGHS
- L... listen.

383
00:17:04,629 --> 00:17:09,050
My whole life has been a...
a torture chamber of indecision

384
00:17:09,467 --> 00:17:12,554
and now I'm finally on the path
to understanding why

385
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:16,015
and the only reason that's happening
is because you walked into my office

386
00:17:16,141 --> 00:17:18,351
and you said you wanted
to be a better person.

387
00:17:18,434 --> 00:17:19,811
That was really brave.

388
00:17:19,894 --> 00:17:24,774
Now, I know we barely know each other but...
please could you give me three months?

389
00:17:25,108 --> 00:17:29,154
Can you give me three months?
I am asking you as a friend.

390
00:17:30,613 --> 00:17:32,365
See, I just told you I don't like talking.

391
00:17:32,490 --> 00:17:35,785
That whole thing could have been sent
in a text that I pretended I never saw.

392
00:17:36,828 --> 00:17:37,787
SHE SIGHS

393
00:17:38,454 --> 00:17:41,791
Fine. You did good at talking.
I'll come back to class.

394
00:17:44,294 --> 00:17:46,421
Come in. No?

395
00:17:46,713 --> 00:17:48,173
- I'm gonna drive you back.
- OK.

396
00:17:50,049 --> 00:17:51,092
MICHAEL:
Hey.

397
00:17:51,676 --> 00:17:53,094
Hey, Dick Tracy called...

398
00:17:53,136 --> 00:17:57,515
said that I was right about Eleanor
and Chidi having an unbreakable bond.

399
00:17:57,599 --> 00:17:59,434
I don't think you understand
how that joke works.

400
00:17:59,517 --> 00:18:02,353
Yeah, that doesn't matter.
We won, that's the point.

401
00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:05,440
You won squat.
We're gonna get 'em eventually.

402
00:18:05,523 --> 00:18:08,359
I'll just keep chipping away
till one of 'em bails.

403
00:18:08,484 --> 00:18:11,529
These four humans are all I care about
in the universe

404
00:18:11,821 --> 00:18:14,032
and there is nothing, I mean nothing

405
00:18:14,115 --> 00:18:15,617
that's gonna come between me--

406
00:18:15,700 --> 00:18:17,368
ELECTRONIC BUZZING

407
00:18:19,245 --> 00:18:20,914
Oh, cool. You're all together.

408
00:18:20,955 --> 00:18:22,123
The Judge wants to see you.

409
00:18:22,790 --> 00:18:24,542
Now? Right now?

410
00:18:24,626 --> 00:18:27,003
- Um, like all of us or--
- Yep.

411
00:18:28,838 --> 00:18:30,048
So this is Earth, huh?

412
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,552
Whoo! Pretty cool.

413
00:18:41,267 --> 00:18:42,143
PORTAL BUZZES

414
00:18:45,521 --> 00:18:48,858
Michael, how many times
did I say you could go down to Earth?

415
00:18:49,192 --> 00:18:52,111
- Actually, you weren't 100% explicit--
- One time!

416
00:18:52,820 --> 00:18:55,240
I said you could go down there,
save their lives

417
00:18:55,281 --> 00:18:59,244
start the new time line
and then come back here to observe them.

418
00:18:59,327 --> 00:19:00,370
SHE SHOUTS:
One time!

419
00:19:00,787 --> 00:19:02,997
Is what I said. <i>Uno!</i>

420
00:19:04,082 --> 00:19:05,291
One!

421
00:19:05,792 --> 00:19:10,004
Your Honour, I have to say, I support you
one "hundo" percent.

422
00:19:10,088 --> 00:19:13,091
I mean, what Michael did is unbelievable.

423
00:19:13,174 --> 00:19:16,511
Now, granted, I also tricked the Doorman
and snuck down to Earth

424
00:19:16,594 --> 00:19:18,888
but what are we gonna do--
HE SCREAMS

425
00:19:18,930 --> 00:19:21,140
THE JUDGE:
Do you realise what you did?

426
00:19:21,224 --> 00:19:23,935
You meddled in human affairs.

427
00:19:24,018 --> 00:19:26,271
That ripples out, man.

428
00:19:26,312 --> 00:19:30,233
Do you know how much weird stuff has
happened because of your little experiment?

429
00:19:30,275 --> 00:19:31,526
England left Europe.

430
00:19:31,985 --> 00:19:34,862
That Hugh Jackman musical
about P.T. Barnham...

431
00:19:34,904 --> 00:19:36,864
it made like 400 million dollars.

432
00:19:37,115 --> 00:19:40,743
Also, the Jacksonville Jaguars
are good now!

433
00:19:40,827 --> 00:19:42,036
Impossible!

434
00:19:42,078 --> 00:19:44,247
I'm serious!
They're gonna make the playoffs.

435
00:19:44,664 --> 00:19:47,292
Blake Bortles is kind of OK...

436
00:19:47,375 --> 00:19:50,378
Maybe? I don't know, it's being debated
amongst experts.

437
00:19:50,461 --> 00:19:54,215
It's confusing.
But whatever it is, it's yo' fault!

438
00:19:54,549 --> 00:19:56,467
Your experiment with the humans is over.

439
00:19:56,509 --> 00:19:58,261
- Are you gonna kill them?
- No.

440
00:19:59,220 --> 00:20:00,346
But starting now...

441
00:20:00,930 --> 00:20:02,557
there is no more monitoring them.

442
00:20:02,807 --> 00:20:06,311
They're just regular humans that need
to hit the regular point threshold

443
00:20:06,394 --> 00:20:07,854
to see if they make it into the Good Place.

444
00:20:07,895 --> 00:20:09,314
- Hm...
- And if they don't...

445
00:20:09,731 --> 00:20:13,151
SHE BLOWS RASPBERRIES

446
00:20:13,234 --> 00:20:14,736
RASPBERRY BLOWING CONTINUES

447
00:20:14,819 --> 00:20:16,446
RASPBERRY BLOWING GURGLES

448
00:20:17,363 --> 00:20:20,450
And right now, the two of you
are going back to the Bad Place.

449
00:20:20,491 --> 00:20:21,784
But they'll retire Michael.

450
00:20:22,368 --> 00:20:23,536
And I'll be marbleised!

451
00:20:23,619 --> 00:20:26,205
Well, maybe you should have
thought about that

452
00:20:26,247 --> 00:20:29,542
before you intervened in human affairs!

453
00:20:29,792 --> 00:20:33,629
I mean, because of you, Byron Allen owns
The Weather Channel now.

454
00:20:34,422 --> 00:20:37,550
- Is-is that bad?
- I don't know, but it's weird, man!

455
00:20:38,134 --> 00:20:40,136
- Now, come with me.
- JANET CHIMES

456
00:20:40,178 --> 00:20:42,513
Hey, my powers are back online.

457
00:20:42,597 --> 00:20:43,848
JANET CHIMES

458
00:20:43,931 --> 00:20:45,892
This must be everything
I tried to summon on Earth.

459
00:20:45,933 --> 00:20:47,268
JANET CHIMES

460
00:20:47,352 --> 00:20:49,979
JUDGE: Stop it!
- I don't think I can. I'm like a printer

461
00:20:50,021 --> 00:20:53,274
when the print queue suddenly starts
processing all the unprinted documents...

462
00:20:54,734 --> 00:20:56,611
Oh, man! Buckle up, folks.

463
00:20:56,694 --> 00:20:59,864
JANET CHIMES MULTIPLE TIMES

464
00:21:01,324 --> 00:21:03,493
Let's go. Right now!

465
00:21:03,785 --> 00:21:04,786
Janet!

466
00:21:05,411 --> 00:21:07,997
Make it stop! Janet, stop it!

467
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:10,458
Janet, this is annoying!

468
00:21:11,751 --> 00:21:12,752
Janet!

469
00:21:13,961 --> 00:21:16,130
Good luck, frog man. I'm pulling for ya.

470
00:21:16,464 --> 00:21:18,174
THE JUDGE:
Janet, I know you're still there.

471
00:21:18,758 --> 00:21:20,802
THE JUDGE GRUNTS

472
00:21:25,932 --> 00:21:28,810
- They escaped.
- Yeah. Thanks, Jeff.