1 00:00:04,568 --> 00:00:07,780 I still believe that they would've become good people 2 00:00:08,030 --> 00:00:12,118 if they'd just gotten a push in the right direction. 3 00:00:13,911 --> 00:00:14,995 Oh, no! 4 00:00:15,121 --> 00:00:18,582 It's only four people, and it's clearly the best way to see 5 00:00:18,874 --> 00:00:21,460 if bad people can become good without knowing anything 6 00:00:21,502 --> 00:00:23,379 about what's waiting for them in the afterlife. 7 00:00:23,546 --> 00:00:25,798 SHE GROANS 8 00:00:25,965 --> 00:00:27,508 - OK, let's do it. - MICHAEL: Yes! 9 00:00:27,591 --> 00:00:31,262 But there have to be strict rules. Otherwise, the results will be tainted. 10 00:00:31,387 --> 00:00:35,307 And I reserve the right to change my mind at any point. 11 00:00:35,432 --> 00:00:38,018 Would someone who's not an eternal being please explain to me 12 00:00:38,144 --> 00:00:39,019 what the f-- 13 00:01:08,465 --> 00:01:09,842 Hi. I'm Michael. 14 00:01:11,051 --> 00:01:12,469 You must be the Doorman? 15 00:01:14,847 --> 00:01:15,723 Ah! 16 00:01:16,307 --> 00:01:17,433 This is wild. 17 00:01:17,850 --> 00:01:19,727 Had no idea this was even here. 18 00:01:20,311 --> 00:01:23,564 So, I have this ruling from the Judge... 19 00:01:23,772 --> 00:01:27,359 heading on down to Earth to reverse the deaths of these four people. 20 00:01:27,568 --> 00:01:30,237 It's kinda tricky, you know, it starts up a new timeline 21 00:01:30,321 --> 00:01:31,864 so there might be some ripple effects 22 00:01:32,281 --> 00:01:35,492 but it's necessary, for the... the experiment that we're doing there. 23 00:01:37,328 --> 00:01:38,996 So how long does this trip take? 24 00:01:39,079 --> 00:01:40,748 Hope I don't get a middle seat. 25 00:01:40,873 --> 00:01:42,583 - MICHAEL CHUCKLES - Wow. 26 00:01:43,292 --> 00:01:45,586 I haven't heard a joke in 8,000 years. 27 00:01:46,795 --> 00:01:48,172 And I still haven't. 28 00:01:49,673 --> 00:01:50,883 That's the door to Earth. 29 00:01:51,342 --> 00:01:53,427 Go through there, you'll be wherever you need to be. 30 00:01:53,510 --> 00:01:54,929 You won't have any other powers, though. 31 00:01:54,970 --> 00:01:57,306 You wanna get around, you're just gonna have to take a bus or something. 32 00:01:57,765 --> 00:01:58,807 A bus? 33 00:01:59,475 --> 00:02:00,726 HE LAUGHS Oh, boy! 34 00:02:00,935 --> 00:02:03,395 Oh, man, I'm gonna sit in a front-facing seat! 35 00:02:03,437 --> 00:02:06,106 Or no, no, m-maybe a sideways-facing seat! 36 00:02:06,190 --> 00:02:08,234 I'm... I'm gonna get so motion-sick! 37 00:02:08,692 --> 00:02:09,818 Oh, man! 38 00:02:10,194 --> 00:02:11,695 What do I do, just grab the key here...? 39 00:02:11,737 --> 00:02:12,738 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 40 00:02:12,863 --> 00:02:17,952 This key is made of the very first atoms that came into existence in the universe. 41 00:02:18,077 --> 00:02:21,914 It is one of a kind, and cannot be duplicated. See? 42 00:02:23,123 --> 00:02:25,334 "Do not duplicate." 43 00:02:26,168 --> 00:02:27,503 Only I touch this key. 44 00:02:27,586 --> 00:02:29,964 And... and what's the significance of the keychain? 45 00:02:30,339 --> 00:02:32,091 Nothing. I just like frogs. 46 00:02:32,216 --> 00:02:33,259 I'm a frog guy. 47 00:02:34,051 --> 00:02:38,347 When you need to get back here, make sure you're alone, press this button. 48 00:02:39,056 --> 00:02:41,058 Any questions? No? Great. 49 00:02:42,643 --> 00:02:43,811 Knock yourself out. 50 00:02:49,024 --> 00:02:49,900 Uh-oh. 51 00:03:00,911 --> 00:03:03,080 I-I'm sorry, but this is an important moment in our friendship-- 52 00:03:03,122 --> 00:03:04,290 IN AUSSIE ACCENT: On your right, mate! 53 00:03:04,373 --> 00:03:05,541 Geez! Watch it, man! 54 00:03:06,458 --> 00:03:07,668 CHIDI YELLS 55 00:03:09,295 --> 00:03:11,547 Come down to the ground where you belong! 56 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:13,090 CROWD GASPS 57 00:03:14,758 --> 00:03:16,010 Buongiorno! 58 00:03:16,885 --> 00:03:18,178 IN DEEP VOICE: Buongiorno! 59 00:03:19,555 --> 00:03:20,639 HE GASPS 60 00:03:22,808 --> 00:03:24,476 Oh, wow! 61 00:03:24,810 --> 00:03:26,812 I was just on Earth! 62 00:03:27,229 --> 00:03:28,439 It was incredible! 63 00:03:28,814 --> 00:03:31,900 The-the traffic... the pigeons! 64 00:03:32,026 --> 00:03:35,571 And I saw this place that was at once a Pizza Hut 65 00:03:35,654 --> 00:03:37,239 and a Taco Bell! 66 00:03:37,656 --> 00:03:41,327 I mean, oh... the mind reels! 67 00:03:42,036 --> 00:03:46,457 A Pizza Hut and a Taco Bell! Ah! 68 00:03:53,213 --> 00:03:55,924 Oh, Janet, it was everything I ever imagined. 69 00:03:56,008 --> 00:03:57,301 I got to ride a bike. 70 00:03:57,468 --> 00:04:00,262 I put a coin in a thing and got a gumball. 71 00:04:00,596 --> 00:04:03,432 And then someone came up to me and said, "Hot enough for ya?" 72 00:04:03,557 --> 00:04:04,516 And you know what I said? 73 00:04:04,558 --> 00:04:06,310 I said, "Tell me about it." HE LAUGHS 74 00:04:06,435 --> 00:04:08,812 While I am glad that you got to chew a gumball... 75 00:04:08,854 --> 00:04:10,272 Oh, damn. 76 00:04:10,814 --> 00:04:12,524 I didn't even think to chew it. 77 00:04:13,525 --> 00:04:15,027 Missed opportunity. Shoot. 78 00:04:15,235 --> 00:04:17,071 ...did you also save their lives? 79 00:04:17,154 --> 00:04:19,490 Yes, of course. Everyone is safe. 80 00:04:20,324 --> 00:04:21,283 Including Jason. 81 00:04:22,242 --> 00:04:26,246 Now, just sit back and watch as they become better people. 82 00:04:26,372 --> 00:04:27,373 HE CHUCKLES 83 00:04:27,456 --> 00:04:29,041 Being good is for suckers! 84 00:04:29,124 --> 00:04:31,085 What do you even get out of it? I quit. 85 00:04:31,251 --> 00:04:33,253 Eat my farts, Benedict Cumberbatch. 86 00:04:35,756 --> 00:04:37,424 Morning, Chidi! Blueberry muffin for ya? 87 00:04:37,508 --> 00:04:38,675 Uh... I-I don't know. 88 00:04:38,759 --> 00:04:39,718 Maybe. I can't decide. 89 00:04:39,927 --> 00:04:41,553 - You alright there, mate? - OK. 90 00:04:41,929 --> 00:04:42,930 I've made my decision. 91 00:04:43,597 --> 00:04:44,973 I want to... 92 00:04:45,391 --> 00:04:47,267 start crying! 93 00:04:50,896 --> 00:04:52,064 CHIDI WAILS 94 00:04:54,441 --> 00:04:58,237 MAN BEHIND CAMERA: Hey, Tahani Al-Jamil. I'm from International Sophisticate Magazine. 95 00:04:58,278 --> 00:05:00,489 Mind if we ask you 582 questions? 96 00:05:00,614 --> 00:05:01,657 Sounds delightful! 97 00:05:02,032 --> 00:05:03,409 MAN: Where are we, exactly? 98 00:05:03,492 --> 00:05:06,495 IN A PRETENTIOUS VOICE: My pied-à-terre, just off the coast of Barcelona. 99 00:05:06,662 --> 00:05:08,956 MAN: What's one thing people don't know about you? 100 00:05:09,039 --> 00:05:11,583 That I was such a tomboy in high school. 101 00:05:11,792 --> 00:05:12,668 See? 102 00:05:12,876 --> 00:05:15,421 MAN: Wow! Looking good! OK, next question. 103 00:05:15,754 --> 00:05:18,590 Who would you say is the most famous person in your phone? 104 00:05:18,674 --> 00:05:22,469 It's not about "who you know." Enlightenment comes from within. 105 00:05:24,346 --> 00:05:26,014 The Dalai Lama texted me that. 106 00:05:29,643 --> 00:05:32,771 Kay, will you make me the happiest man in the world 107 00:05:32,813 --> 00:05:34,523 and agree to be my wife? 108 00:05:35,482 --> 00:05:36,483 No. 109 00:05:37,109 --> 00:05:39,528 Do you think my name is the letter "K"? 110 00:05:39,653 --> 00:05:42,489 Just say yes! If we're married, legally you can't arrest me. 111 00:05:42,698 --> 00:05:44,992 Plus, bonus, you get half the stuff I stole! 112 00:05:45,742 --> 00:05:47,703 Yeah, he just confessed to the robbery. 113 00:05:48,078 --> 00:05:49,037 Dammit! 114 00:05:53,667 --> 00:05:56,211 HE SIGHS You realise what the problem is, right? 115 00:05:56,336 --> 00:05:57,963 Yes, but there's no way to help. 116 00:06:02,759 --> 00:06:03,677 Maybe there is. 117 00:06:03,802 --> 00:06:07,514 In the afterlife, they all got better because they helped each other. 118 00:06:08,307 --> 00:06:10,976 And the key to that was Chidi and Eleanor's connection. 119 00:06:11,059 --> 00:06:13,604 If I get the two of them together, everything else will follow. 120 00:06:13,645 --> 00:06:15,981 - Michael, no-- - I'm gonna meet Eleanor someplace 121 00:06:16,023 --> 00:06:19,735 and plant the idea in her mind that she needs to find Chidi. 122 00:06:19,943 --> 00:06:21,778 Oh, and then maybe I'll visit Chidi 123 00:06:21,820 --> 00:06:24,114 and make sure that he helps her when she shows up. 124 00:06:24,364 --> 00:06:25,866 I'm just gonna nudge the two of them together. 125 00:06:25,908 --> 00:06:27,034 Just nudgey-nudge-nudge. 126 00:06:27,117 --> 00:06:29,495 The Judge was pretty clear in her instructions 127 00:06:29,578 --> 00:06:32,414 and the Judge is, you know, the Judge 128 00:06:32,581 --> 00:06:35,667 of, you know, The Universe. 129 00:06:36,043 --> 00:06:37,127 She'll never find out. 130 00:06:37,211 --> 00:06:40,589 She spends all her time in her chambers bingeing TV shows. 131 00:06:40,672 --> 00:06:43,050 She's watching all of "N.C.I.S." right now! 132 00:06:45,511 --> 00:06:46,386 Hey, there. 133 00:06:47,554 --> 00:06:49,223 Need to head on back to Earth. 134 00:06:49,806 --> 00:06:51,058 Hm. Travel papers? 135 00:06:51,141 --> 00:06:54,561 Yeah. You know, the, uh... Judge said to use the same ones. 136 00:06:55,437 --> 00:06:57,856 Cos I'm, um, you know, visiting the same people. 137 00:06:58,023 --> 00:07:01,360 Yeah, oh yeah... I almost forgot. Brought you a nice hot cup of anti-matter. 138 00:07:02,319 --> 00:07:04,488 I usually only drink decaf anti-matter. 139 00:07:04,821 --> 00:07:06,240 - Ah. - Eh, I'll take it. 140 00:07:06,615 --> 00:07:07,574 It's only 4:30. 141 00:07:07,658 --> 00:07:09,910 - My shift doesn't end till nine billion. - Oof! 142 00:07:12,037 --> 00:07:12,996 What do I owe ya? 143 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:14,373 The real question, Eleanor... 144 00:07:15,582 --> 00:07:17,042 is "what do we owe to each other?" 145 00:07:17,751 --> 00:07:20,045 CHIDI: What do we owe to each other? 146 00:07:20,629 --> 00:07:23,298 That is the question Tim Scanlon asked decades ago 147 00:07:24,049 --> 00:07:28,303 and it is the question I will try to answer over the next three hours. 148 00:07:28,470 --> 00:07:30,013 Are you Chidi Anna... 149 00:07:30,264 --> 00:07:31,181 Kendrick? 150 00:07:31,306 --> 00:07:32,975 Anagonye. And yes. 151 00:07:33,058 --> 00:07:35,477 Great. Hi. My name is Eleanor Shellstrop. 152 00:07:37,062 --> 00:07:38,021 Can we talk? 153 00:07:38,939 --> 00:07:39,815 Sure. 154 00:07:39,940 --> 00:07:41,858 OK. Uh, where do I start? 155 00:07:42,276 --> 00:07:45,779 I'm not, like, the best person in the world. 156 00:07:45,946 --> 00:07:47,781 I'm a trash bag from Arizona 157 00:07:48,198 --> 00:07:49,324 which is saying something. 158 00:07:49,408 --> 00:07:52,035 Our biggest exports are racist sheriffs and HPV. 159 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:54,621 But about a year ago, something crazy happened 160 00:07:54,705 --> 00:07:56,039 - and I... - KNOCK ON DOOR 161 00:07:56,164 --> 00:07:58,125 - T'es prêt, Chidi? - Allez-y sans moi. 162 00:07:58,250 --> 00:07:59,626 - Je serai là. - D'accord. 163 00:07:59,710 --> 00:08:00,627 A tout à l'heure. 164 00:08:02,254 --> 00:08:04,423 Sorry, I've been flying for like 40 hours. 165 00:08:04,506 --> 00:08:06,341 This is Australia, right? 166 00:08:06,508 --> 00:08:09,845 Yes, I grew up in Senegal, so my native language is French 167 00:08:10,012 --> 00:08:12,848 but I went to American schools, so I also speak English. 168 00:08:12,931 --> 00:08:14,725 - Oh-- - And German, and Greek 169 00:08:14,808 --> 00:08:17,060 and Latin, just in case it ever comes back. 170 00:08:17,853 --> 00:08:21,356 Cool. I once got 12 out of 12 on a BuzzFeed quiz called 171 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,900 "Do You Know All the Slang Words the Kardashians Invented?" 172 00:08:24,109 --> 00:08:25,861 - Congratulations? - Thank you. 173 00:08:26,361 --> 00:08:27,904 I'm gonna be honest, I did cheat. 174 00:08:27,946 --> 00:08:29,615 But you were saying something crazy happened to you? 175 00:08:29,698 --> 00:08:32,826 Yes! Uh, I almost died. 176 00:08:32,951 --> 00:08:35,287 And it made me want to become a better person 177 00:08:35,329 --> 00:08:36,997 Which I did, for a while 178 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,916 but then I fell back into my old trash bag ways... 179 00:08:40,208 --> 00:08:43,545 but yesterday I saw your lecture, and something just clicked. 180 00:08:43,712 --> 00:08:47,966 Wait, you flew all the way here from Arizona, just to see me? 181 00:08:48,091 --> 00:08:50,093 You know what, don't flatter yourself, pal! 182 00:08:50,427 --> 00:08:53,597 Sorry, that's a knee jerk reaction. Yes, that's exactly what I did. 183 00:08:54,097 --> 00:08:56,933 And I know that seems "zonkatronic" 184 00:08:57,017 --> 00:08:58,310 that's Khloe's word for "crazy" 185 00:08:58,602 --> 00:09:03,565 but I need someone to help guide me, morally speaking 186 00:09:03,607 --> 00:09:07,027 and... I think I need it to be you. 187 00:09:07,277 --> 00:09:08,362 What do you say? 188 00:09:08,528 --> 00:09:11,239 Will you help me become a good person? 189 00:09:14,993 --> 00:09:15,869 Yes. 190 00:09:19,581 --> 00:09:20,666 JANET GASPS 191 00:09:23,710 --> 00:09:27,089 I'll start you off with some introductory philosophy books 192 00:09:27,172 --> 00:09:29,549 - and then we'll meet here once a week? - Great! 193 00:09:30,550 --> 00:09:32,344 - Can I ask you something? - Mm-hm. 194 00:09:33,261 --> 00:09:34,638 Why are you helping me? 195 00:09:35,972 --> 00:09:37,683 I'm a teacher. That's my job. 196 00:09:37,891 --> 00:09:39,226 Yeah, but I'm not your student. 197 00:09:39,309 --> 00:09:42,187 I'm just some hot rando who walked in off the street. 198 00:09:42,688 --> 00:09:44,064 There's gotta be another reason. 199 00:09:45,482 --> 00:09:47,442 Yes, there is. Um... 200 00:09:48,318 --> 00:09:50,278 I also had a near-death experience. 201 00:09:50,404 --> 00:09:51,947 - Whoa. - But, I mean, I don't know for sure 202 00:09:51,988 --> 00:09:54,449 that I would've died, but it was pretty nuts... 203 00:09:54,866 --> 00:09:57,202 I-I'm sorry, but this is an important moment in our friendship-- 204 00:09:57,244 --> 00:09:58,453 IN AUSSIE ACCENT: On your right, mate! 205 00:09:58,537 --> 00:09:59,621 Geez, watch it, man! 206 00:10:00,414 --> 00:10:01,790 CHIDI YELLS 207 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:03,917 Oh, my God! Are you OK? 208 00:10:04,501 --> 00:10:06,545 That... that is right where I was standing! 209 00:10:06,837 --> 00:10:09,464 I was frozen here, unable to make a simple decision 210 00:10:10,090 --> 00:10:12,384 and I almost got crushed by an air conditioner. 211 00:10:12,634 --> 00:10:13,760 This is a sign. 212 00:10:14,636 --> 00:10:16,346 I shouldn't be using air conditioners! 213 00:10:16,388 --> 00:10:18,181 The Freon is awful for the environment! 214 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,809 That's the lesson you take from this? 215 00:10:21,893 --> 00:10:22,811 Chidi... 216 00:10:22,978 --> 00:10:25,731 Your brain is broken. You need to fix your brain. 217 00:10:28,567 --> 00:10:32,946 So, in a nutshell, I have a 3,600 page thesis that I am nowhere near finishing. 218 00:10:32,988 --> 00:10:37,826 I am absolutely paralysed by decision-making, and it is destroying my life. 219 00:10:38,285 --> 00:10:41,496 Yeah, I sorta got that when you couldn't choose a chair to sit on. 220 00:10:41,621 --> 00:10:44,499 Well, I-I didn't want to offend you in case you had a favourite. 221 00:10:44,958 --> 00:10:47,294 Look, I know I just kind of... 222 00:10:47,335 --> 00:10:48,503 Nope... walked in here 223 00:10:48,545 --> 00:10:51,339 and you don't know me at all, but is there any way to tell 224 00:10:51,381 --> 00:10:54,968 if my indecision is due to, uh... a... brain... thing? 225 00:10:55,135 --> 00:10:56,386 Oh, yeah. Sure. 226 00:10:56,928 --> 00:10:59,389 Well, what we do is, we make a lengthy incision 227 00:10:59,431 --> 00:11:01,641 from your eyebrows to the nape of your neck 228 00:11:01,683 --> 00:11:03,685 and we peel your face back, right? 229 00:11:03,727 --> 00:11:05,228 Then slice your skull open. 230 00:11:05,437 --> 00:11:09,149 And then I just randomly stab at your brain with an electrified needle. 231 00:11:09,357 --> 00:11:12,110 The fun part is, you're awake the whole time. 232 00:11:13,612 --> 00:11:15,071 Uh... 233 00:11:15,113 --> 00:11:16,531 I'm kidding! No. 234 00:11:16,990 --> 00:11:19,075 I'll just give you an MRI and look at the part of your brain 235 00:11:19,117 --> 00:11:20,160 that controls decision-making. 236 00:11:20,660 --> 00:11:22,204 Oh, I... I want that! 237 00:11:22,496 --> 00:11:24,498 I need to learn about my brain. Please. 238 00:11:25,165 --> 00:11:28,460 Well, so, you just march into my office unannounced 239 00:11:28,627 --> 00:11:31,379 tell me your brain is broken, then demand I drop everything 240 00:11:31,421 --> 00:11:34,925 and just put you in the university's $3 million MRI machine? 241 00:11:35,425 --> 00:11:36,843 Oh, I'm sorry, I... 242 00:11:36,885 --> 00:11:39,054 I freakin' love it! 243 00:11:39,179 --> 00:11:41,097 You're so weird! Let's go! 244 00:11:41,848 --> 00:11:43,350 - Right now? - Oh, yeah! Come on. 245 00:11:43,391 --> 00:11:44,267 O-OK. 246 00:11:46,436 --> 00:11:47,938 SIMONE: This is your hippocampus. 247 00:11:48,146 --> 00:11:50,232 It regulates memory. Yours looks great! 248 00:11:50,315 --> 00:11:52,400 Very strong, gorgeous hippocampus here. 249 00:11:52,484 --> 00:11:53,652 THEY CHUCKLE 250 00:11:53,985 --> 00:11:58,323 This is your ventromedial prefrontal cortex, the centre of decision-making. 251 00:11:58,532 --> 00:12:01,910 This is where the magic happens! Do you see how it's all lit up? 252 00:12:02,327 --> 00:12:05,163 That's a flurry of activity that occurred when I asked you to choose between 253 00:12:05,205 --> 00:12:06,790 red and blue, and you almost passed out. 254 00:12:07,082 --> 00:12:08,834 Is it too late to pick blue instead? 255 00:12:09,251 --> 00:12:10,794 It is. Yeah. 256 00:12:11,253 --> 00:12:14,256 Point is, at first glance, your brain is very healthy. 257 00:12:14,798 --> 00:12:17,050 Huh, there are... actual answers here. 258 00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:19,469 Data you can observe, and learn from. 259 00:12:19,553 --> 00:12:22,347 Yeah, man! Science is all about getting answers. 260 00:12:22,556 --> 00:12:26,434 You philosophers can spend your entire life mulling over a single question. 261 00:12:27,018 --> 00:12:29,145 That's why everyone hates moral philosophy professors. 262 00:12:29,271 --> 00:12:30,480 - HE LAUGHS - No offence. 263 00:12:30,564 --> 00:12:32,148 - Nope. None taken. We suck! - Yeah. 264 00:12:32,232 --> 00:12:33,608 THEY LAUGH 265 00:12:39,531 --> 00:12:40,407 Chidi! 266 00:12:40,866 --> 00:12:42,284 One blueberry muffin, please. 267 00:12:42,784 --> 00:12:46,288 CHIDI: So, why do it then? Why choose to be good, every day? 268 00:12:46,788 --> 00:12:50,542 I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people. 269 00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:54,212 Simply put... we are not in this alone. 270 00:12:55,088 --> 00:12:56,965 - Thank you. - AUDIENCE APPLAUDS 271 00:12:57,591 --> 00:12:59,092 Wow, Chidi! 272 00:12:59,676 --> 00:13:01,928 You chose that muffin in less than a minute. 273 00:13:02,304 --> 00:13:03,889 That beats your old record by... 274 00:13:04,264 --> 00:13:05,307 59 minutes. 275 00:13:05,390 --> 00:13:07,767 Henry, I feel amazing. 276 00:13:07,851 --> 00:13:11,146 I am 100 pages into my new thesis and it is some of the best writing 277 00:13:11,229 --> 00:13:14,065 that I have ever done. I haven't been this happy since... 278 00:13:15,567 --> 00:13:16,484 Oh, wow. 279 00:13:16,943 --> 00:13:18,862 I've never been happy. Huh! 280 00:13:19,738 --> 00:13:20,697 Bad! 281 00:13:20,864 --> 00:13:23,491 I'm proud of you, mate. Must be really nice to live that way. 282 00:13:23,575 --> 00:13:26,077 Well, that's the beauty of it - anyone can live this way. 283 00:13:26,161 --> 00:13:28,705 Just decide to be more decisive. 284 00:13:28,788 --> 00:13:30,707 Like, what's something that you've always wanted to do? 285 00:13:30,790 --> 00:13:33,293 I mean, I have been putting off getting in shape. 286 00:13:33,376 --> 00:13:37,172 Then make the decision to wake up tomorrow morning, and get in shape. 287 00:13:37,255 --> 00:13:38,590 It is that easy. 288 00:13:38,673 --> 00:13:41,843 - OK! Maybe I will! - I mean, what have you got to lose? 289 00:13:41,927 --> 00:13:43,053 - Nothing! - HE LAUGHS 290 00:13:45,055 --> 00:13:46,348 Henry! What happened to you? 291 00:13:46,431 --> 00:13:48,767 Well, I was using the leg press at the gym 292 00:13:49,017 --> 00:13:51,811 and you know how your legs bend a certain way? 293 00:13:52,312 --> 00:13:54,022 My legs bend the other way now. 294 00:13:54,105 --> 00:13:54,981 Oh, no. 295 00:13:55,231 --> 00:13:57,859 All the tendons in my legs snapped like violin strings. 296 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:01,237 And then my foot flew forwards and I kicked myself in the face 297 00:14:01,279 --> 00:14:02,405 which gave me a concussion. 298 00:14:02,489 --> 00:14:04,074 This is all my fault. 299 00:14:04,366 --> 00:14:05,909 I did this to you. I... 300 00:14:06,326 --> 00:14:08,954 Muffins! I brought blueberry muffins! 301 00:14:09,204 --> 00:14:11,247 Oh, no, you shouldn't eat blueberries anymore. 302 00:14:11,373 --> 00:14:14,960 Read an article, the migrant workers who pick them are horribly mistreated. 303 00:14:16,127 --> 00:14:18,838 Gaaaaaah! 304 00:14:21,341 --> 00:14:23,134 Morning, Chidi! Blueberry muffin for ya? 305 00:14:23,218 --> 00:14:24,636 Uh... I... I don't know. Maybe? 306 00:14:24,678 --> 00:14:26,554 - I can't decide. - You alright there, mate? 307 00:14:26,805 --> 00:14:28,223 OK, I've made my decision. 308 00:14:28,848 --> 00:14:30,266 I want to... 309 00:14:30,642 --> 00:14:32,644 start crying! 310 00:14:36,940 --> 00:14:37,899 Excuse me? 311 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,277 What is the maximum number of books that I can check out? Is it 12,000? 312 00:14:41,444 --> 00:14:42,988 IN AUSSIE ACCENT: Got a wild weekend planned? 313 00:14:43,071 --> 00:14:45,073 Well, I need to find a new topic for my thesis 314 00:14:45,156 --> 00:14:47,742 and I had this thing happen that made me more decisive 315 00:14:47,784 --> 00:14:49,536 and a few months ago, my friend broke both of his legs 316 00:14:49,577 --> 00:14:51,371 and it's my fault, and blueberries, and I need help! 317 00:14:51,579 --> 00:14:52,455 Whoo! 318 00:14:52,539 --> 00:14:55,917 Maybe that help will come from Tay Zonday's autobiography 319 00:14:56,001 --> 00:14:58,294 "Chocolate Book"! I mean, who's to say? 320 00:14:58,378 --> 00:15:01,423 Mate, I've worked in this library a long time 321 00:15:01,464 --> 00:15:06,845 and I've seen a lot of academic types with that same helpless look on their faces. 322 00:15:07,220 --> 00:15:09,222 They all made it through OK 323 00:15:10,056 --> 00:15:11,683 once they learned the secret. 324 00:15:12,183 --> 00:15:14,144 What's the secret? There's a secret? Is the secret more books? 325 00:15:14,185 --> 00:15:16,438 - How many more books do I need? - It's not about books, mate. 326 00:15:16,479 --> 00:15:18,356 It's about perspective. 327 00:15:18,857 --> 00:15:22,652 Sometimes, when you're feeling helpless, the secret is to help someone else. 328 00:15:22,819 --> 00:15:24,529 Get out of your own head. Trust me. 329 00:15:24,904 --> 00:15:26,906 The next time someone asks for help 330 00:15:27,741 --> 00:15:28,867 say "yes." 331 00:15:31,619 --> 00:15:34,706 A few hours later, you walked in and asked for help. 332 00:15:35,081 --> 00:15:37,959 Now, I don't know if this is going to solve all of my problems 333 00:15:38,001 --> 00:15:40,628 but it's worth a try, right? 334 00:15:40,837 --> 00:15:43,465 Well, thank you, sexy librarian guy! 335 00:15:43,590 --> 00:15:45,550 I didn't say he was sexy. 336 00:15:45,842 --> 00:15:48,470 Oh, I know, but whenever anyone tells me a story about their life 337 00:15:48,511 --> 00:15:50,805 I always imagine all the people as being super hot 338 00:15:50,847 --> 00:15:52,182 otherwise I quickly lose interest. 339 00:15:52,849 --> 00:15:53,975 Do you not do that? 340 00:15:54,059 --> 00:15:55,435 You can do it for free. 341 00:15:58,396 --> 00:16:02,233 I gotta say, I enjoyed playing the role of "mysterious librarian". 342 00:16:02,358 --> 00:16:03,234 And I really... 343 00:16:03,276 --> 00:16:05,612 IN BAD AUSSIE ACCENT: ...nailed the Australian accent. 344 00:16:05,695 --> 00:16:07,322 Uh-huh. Flawless. 345 00:16:07,405 --> 00:16:08,281 Thank you. 346 00:16:08,364 --> 00:16:12,535 But the point is, Eleanor and Chidi are together and now we can relax. 347 00:16:12,619 --> 00:16:14,829 Everything is finally on track. 348 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,128 Status report. 349 00:16:22,212 --> 00:16:25,090 They're plugging away, but we still can't hack into the Judge's system. 350 00:16:25,256 --> 00:16:26,216 Damn it! 351 00:16:26,382 --> 00:16:29,094 Those four humans have been on Earth for over a year. 352 00:16:29,260 --> 00:16:31,554 I need to know if they're getting better. 353 00:16:31,679 --> 00:16:32,806 Can I just ask... 354 00:16:33,223 --> 00:16:35,350 we torture like 30 billion humans. 355 00:16:35,433 --> 00:16:37,393 Why do you care so much about these four? 356 00:16:37,936 --> 00:16:40,355 DRAMATIC STRINGS 357 00:16:40,563 --> 00:16:41,439 Never mind. 358 00:16:41,856 --> 00:16:42,732 Forget I asked. 359 00:16:44,442 --> 00:16:46,486 Serves him right for questioning you, boss! 360 00:16:46,569 --> 00:16:48,988 - I think you're doing a great job. - Thank you, Todd. 361 00:16:49,614 --> 00:16:50,573 No-no-no--! 362 00:16:50,657 --> 00:16:51,699 Why did you do that? 363 00:16:51,908 --> 00:16:53,993 I'm a demon. It's fun. 364 00:16:54,577 --> 00:16:57,789 No one leaves this room until we've accessed the Judge's system. 365 00:16:57,956 --> 00:17:00,583 Would music help? Should I play some music? 366 00:17:01,209 --> 00:17:02,085 Good idea. 367 00:17:02,210 --> 00:17:04,838 Choose something deeply terrible, to inspire us. 368 00:17:07,799 --> 00:17:09,509 MUSIC: "Right Here Waiting For You" by Richard Marx 369 00:17:09,592 --> 00:17:11,636 - ♪ Wherever you go ♪ - Oh, yeah. 370 00:17:11,719 --> 00:17:13,555 - ♪ Whatever you do ♪ - That's the stuff. 371 00:17:14,222 --> 00:17:17,851 So, for Aristotle, virtue is practical. 372 00:17:18,017 --> 00:17:20,478 "Goodness" isn't something that a person just inherently has 373 00:17:20,562 --> 00:17:23,773 it's something that she achieves through her actions. 374 00:17:24,107 --> 00:17:26,317 - Questions? - Uh, yeah, a few. 375 00:17:26,693 --> 00:17:29,154 I wrote down, "What?", "Huh?" 376 00:17:29,279 --> 00:17:33,074 and then this doodle of a burrito, because when I first read "Aristotle" 377 00:17:33,116 --> 00:17:35,160 I thought it was pronounced like "Chipotle." 378 00:17:35,618 --> 00:17:37,745 Wait a minute, is it "Chippa-tottle?" 379 00:17:38,329 --> 00:17:43,626 These are all great questions, but I have to meet my thesis advisor across campus. 380 00:17:43,710 --> 00:17:46,087 Oh. Uh, well, I'm headed that way too. I'll walk with you. 381 00:17:46,421 --> 00:17:47,463 Hey, so... 382 00:17:48,339 --> 00:17:51,593 I've been trying to figure out how to pay you back for helping me. 383 00:17:51,801 --> 00:17:53,845 I told you, you don't owe me anything. 384 00:17:53,970 --> 00:17:56,848 At home, when I want to get something nice for one of my friends 385 00:17:56,931 --> 00:17:59,726 it usually comes in the form of something... 386 00:18:00,268 --> 00:18:01,144 edible. 387 00:18:01,311 --> 00:18:03,354 You get what I'm saying? An edible thing? 388 00:18:03,479 --> 00:18:05,565 - Please don't buy me drugs. - OK. Copy that. 389 00:18:06,232 --> 00:18:09,194 I had no choice. I was in his driveway taking pictures when he walked out. 390 00:18:09,277 --> 00:18:12,030 So I said, "Hey, Mister Crowe, I'm from the gas company. 391 00:18:12,113 --> 00:18:13,323 I loved you in Gladiator. 392 00:18:13,448 --> 00:18:14,365 Chidi! 393 00:18:14,407 --> 00:18:15,283 - Hey! - Hey. 394 00:18:15,325 --> 00:18:17,493 - I got a question... - Is it "What's my thesis topic?" 395 00:18:17,535 --> 00:18:20,246 - Because I still don't know! - No, it's not that. 396 00:18:20,371 --> 00:18:21,706 SIMONE LAUGHS 397 00:18:21,831 --> 00:18:23,499 Oh, I'm sorry, you guys haven't met yet. 398 00:18:23,541 --> 00:18:25,043 Um, Simone, this is Eleanor. 399 00:18:25,210 --> 00:18:27,086 The famous Simone! Nice to meet you. 400 00:18:27,253 --> 00:18:28,213 You too. 401 00:18:28,504 --> 00:18:31,466 So, I've gotta do some MRI scans as a control for an experiment 402 00:18:31,549 --> 00:18:34,677 and since you loved it so much last time, I was wondering if you could just 403 00:18:34,761 --> 00:18:36,596 - pop back in there, help me out? - Oh, absolutely. 404 00:18:36,804 --> 00:18:39,057 Cool. OK, well, just come by my lab at six 405 00:18:39,140 --> 00:18:40,934 and then afterwards I can buy you dinner as a thank you. 406 00:18:41,059 --> 00:18:42,977 Oh, no, no, you don't have to do that. 407 00:18:43,269 --> 00:18:44,395 Oh. OK! 408 00:18:44,896 --> 00:18:47,023 Well, uh... I'll see ya later. Nice to meet you. 409 00:18:47,106 --> 00:18:47,982 You too. 410 00:18:51,444 --> 00:18:52,612 - What? - Uh... 411 00:18:52,737 --> 00:18:55,990 you and Simone had some real professor dork vibes flowing. 412 00:18:56,366 --> 00:18:58,910 You're both teachers... who are hot for a teacher! 413 00:18:59,077 --> 00:19:01,788 SHE SQUEALS How have you not asked her out yet? 414 00:19:01,913 --> 00:19:02,830 Are you scared? 415 00:19:02,872 --> 00:19:05,541 No, it's not impressive to guess that I'm scared, Eleanor. 416 00:19:05,583 --> 00:19:09,671 I'm scared of everything. And I can't just... do things like that. 417 00:19:10,004 --> 00:19:11,172 - Just drop it, OK? - Well-- 418 00:19:11,214 --> 00:19:13,216 OK, just promise me you'll drop it? 419 00:19:14,759 --> 00:19:15,635 OK. 420 00:19:15,969 --> 00:19:16,928 I promise. 421 00:19:17,679 --> 00:19:19,597 So, you're into Chidi, right? 422 00:19:19,973 --> 00:19:23,101 I mean, forgive my bluntness, but I'm usually right about these things. 423 00:19:23,559 --> 00:19:26,396 Well, yeah, but I've made it pretty clear a bunch of times 424 00:19:26,437 --> 00:19:29,482 and he's never responded, so I just assumed he wasn't interested. 425 00:19:29,607 --> 00:19:30,900 CHIDI: OK, I'm all set. 426 00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:33,820 SIMONE: I'm just gonna ask you some basic questions, Chidi, uh... 427 00:19:33,903 --> 00:19:35,488 what is one plus one? 428 00:19:35,613 --> 00:19:37,240 - Two. - What colour is the sky? 429 00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:40,159 - Blue. - What colour are Simone's eyes? 430 00:19:40,326 --> 00:19:42,412 Brown. Wh... I... uh, what? 431 00:19:43,871 --> 00:19:46,249 If you could take Simone anywhere, on a date 432 00:19:46,416 --> 00:19:47,667 where would you take her? 433 00:19:47,917 --> 00:19:49,711 Sorry, is this part of the experiment? 434 00:19:49,794 --> 00:19:50,920 It is now. Yes. 435 00:19:51,004 --> 00:19:52,005 Please answer the question. 436 00:19:52,046 --> 00:19:54,257 And keep in mind we can see your brain. 437 00:19:54,590 --> 00:19:56,801 Next question, you are into Simone. 438 00:19:56,926 --> 00:19:57,927 That's not a question. 439 00:19:58,094 --> 00:19:59,846 So you agree, it's a fact. 440 00:19:59,971 --> 00:20:01,264 Next question's for Simone. 441 00:20:01,347 --> 00:20:04,726 Simone, are you annoyed at Chidi for waiting so long to ask you out? 442 00:20:04,809 --> 00:20:05,685 Yes, I am. 443 00:20:05,768 --> 00:20:08,646 Chidi, same question for you, are you annoyed at yourself 444 00:20:08,730 --> 00:20:10,481 for waiting so long to ask out Simone? 445 00:20:10,565 --> 00:20:13,359 I mean, I'm annoyed with you and I've only known you three weeks. 446 00:20:13,526 --> 00:20:16,612 CHIDI: Yes, I am obviously very annoyed with myself. 447 00:20:16,696 --> 00:20:19,157 - Can I get out now? - No, you can't, it'll ruin the science. 448 00:20:19,282 --> 00:20:22,952 There's only one question left, and you gotta ask it, bud. 449 00:20:25,872 --> 00:20:28,624 Simone, would you like to have dinner with me? 450 00:20:29,334 --> 00:20:31,169 Wow. That is highly inappropriate. 451 00:20:31,252 --> 00:20:32,462 - ELEANOR SNORTS - Uh... 452 00:20:32,503 --> 00:20:35,089 I'm just kidding. Yes, I would. Thank you for asking. 453 00:20:36,132 --> 00:20:37,592 Oh, cute! 454 00:20:37,675 --> 00:20:38,801 This is a disaster! 455 00:20:38,885 --> 00:20:40,094 Michael, relax. 456 00:20:40,261 --> 00:20:41,846 How the two of them gonna bond? 457 00:20:41,929 --> 00:20:44,849 There were plenty of reboots where Eleanor and Chidi weren't even soulmates 458 00:20:44,932 --> 00:20:46,642 and he still always helped her. 459 00:20:46,976 --> 00:20:49,103 Simone and Chidi are good together! 460 00:20:49,479 --> 00:20:52,106 I've been running simulations on what their kids will be like. 461 00:20:52,231 --> 00:20:54,776 One of them is hot enough to be on The Bachelor 462 00:20:54,984 --> 00:20:57,612 and smart enough to never go on The Bachelor! 463 00:20:58,029 --> 00:20:59,572 This is not just about Chidi. 464 00:20:59,906 --> 00:21:01,532 I've left too much to chance. 465 00:21:02,116 --> 00:21:05,828 Until our group is back together again, this whole thing is hanging by a thread. 466 00:21:06,245 --> 00:21:07,288 I'm going back down. 467 00:21:07,914 --> 00:21:09,082 You're pressing your luck. 468 00:21:09,165 --> 00:21:11,959 If you keep disobeying Mummy, something bad is going to happen! 469 00:21:12,251 --> 00:21:13,795 - What? - Oh, I don't have a mum 470 00:21:13,836 --> 00:21:17,590 so I've been experimenting with thinking of the Judge as my mum. 471 00:21:18,007 --> 00:21:18,883 It's weird. 472 00:21:18,925 --> 00:21:19,801 - Forget it. - OK. 473 00:21:19,842 --> 00:21:22,261 How are you even gonna get Jason and Tahani to Australia? 474 00:21:22,595 --> 00:21:24,680 I have no idea. But I have to try. 475 00:21:25,014 --> 00:21:25,890 Well... 476 00:21:25,973 --> 00:21:26,849 Good luck, Dad. 477 00:21:26,891 --> 00:21:28,476 Nope! Also weird. Just go.