1
00:00:04,568 --> 00:00:07,780
I still believe that they
would've become good people
2
00:00:08,030 --> 00:00:12,118
if they'd just gotten a push
in the right direction.
3
00:00:13,911 --> 00:00:14,995
Oh, no!
4
00:00:15,121 --> 00:00:18,582
It's only four people,
and it's clearly the best way to see
5
00:00:18,874 --> 00:00:21,460
if bad people can become good
without knowing anything
6
00:00:21,502 --> 00:00:23,379
about what's waiting for them
in the afterlife.
7
00:00:25,965 --> 00:00:27,508
- OK, let's do it.
- Yes!
8
00:00:27,591 --> 00:00:31,262
But there have to be strict rules.
Otherwise, the results will be tainted.
9
00:00:31,387 --> 00:00:35,307
And I reserve the right to change my mind
at any point.
10
00:00:35,432 --> 00:00:38,018
Would someone who's not an eternal being
please explain to me
11
00:00:38,144 --> 00:00:39,019
what the f--
12
00:01:08,465 --> 00:01:09,842
Hi. I'm Michael.
13
00:01:11,051 --> 00:01:12,469
You must be the Doorman?
14
00:01:14,847 --> 00:01:15,723
Ah!
15
00:01:16,307 --> 00:01:17,433
This is wild.
16
00:01:17,850 --> 00:01:19,727
Had no idea this was even here.
17
00:01:20,311 --> 00:01:23,564
So, I have this ruling from the Judge...
18
00:01:23,772 --> 00:01:27,359
heading on down to Earth
to reverse the deaths of these four people.
19
00:01:27,568 --> 00:01:30,237
It's kinda tricky, you know,
it starts up a new timeline
20
00:01:30,321 --> 00:01:31,864
so there might be some ripple effects
21
00:01:32,281 --> 00:01:35,492
but it's necessary, for the...
the experiment that we're doing there.
22
00:01:37,328 --> 00:01:38,996
So how long does this trip take?
23
00:01:39,079 --> 00:01:40,748
Hope I don't get a middle seat.
24
00:01:40,873 --> 00:01:42,583
Wow.
25
00:01:43,292 --> 00:01:45,586
I haven't heard a joke in 8,000 years.
26
00:01:46,795 --> 00:01:48,172
And I still haven't.
27
00:01:49,673 --> 00:01:50,883
That's the door to Earth.
28
00:01:51,342 --> 00:01:53,427
Go through there,
you'll be wherever you need to be.
29
00:01:53,510 --> 00:01:54,929
You won't have any other powers, though.
30
00:01:54,970 --> 00:01:57,306
You wanna get around, you're just gonna
have to take a bus or something.
31
00:01:57,765 --> 00:01:58,807
A bus?
32
00:01:59,475 --> 00:02:00,726
Oh, boy!
33
00:02:00,935 --> 00:02:03,395
Oh, man, I'm gonna sit
in a front-facing seat!
34
00:02:03,437 --> 00:02:06,106
Or no, no, m-maybe a sideways-facing seat!
35
00:02:06,190 --> 00:02:08,234
I'm... I'm gonna get so motion-sick!
36
00:02:08,692 --> 00:02:09,818
Oh, man!
37
00:02:10,194 --> 00:02:11,695
What do I do, just grab the key here...?
38
00:02:11,737 --> 00:02:12,738
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
39
00:02:12,863 --> 00:02:17,952
This key is made of the very first atoms
that came into existence in the universe.
40
00:02:18,077 --> 00:02:21,914
It is one of a kind,
and cannot be duplicated. See?
41
00:02:23,123 --> 00:02:25,334
"Do not duplicate."
42
00:02:26,168 --> 00:02:27,503
Only I touch this key.
43
00:02:27,586 --> 00:02:29,964
And... and what's the significance
of the keychain?
44
00:02:30,339 --> 00:02:32,091
Nothing. I just like frogs.
45
00:02:32,216 --> 00:02:33,259
I'm a frog guy.
46
00:02:34,051 --> 00:02:38,347
When you need to get back here,
make sure you're alone, press this button.
47
00:02:39,056 --> 00:02:41,058
Any questions? No? Great.
48
00:02:42,643 --> 00:02:43,811
Knock yourself out.
49
00:02:49,024 --> 00:02:49,900
Uh-oh.
50
00:03:00,911 --> 00:03:03,080
I-I'm sorry, but this is an
important moment in our friendship--
51
00:03:03,122 --> 00:03:04,290
On your right, mate!
52
00:03:04,373 --> 00:03:05,541
Geez! Watch it, man!
53
00:03:09,295 --> 00:03:11,547
Come down to the ground where you belong!
54
00:03:14,758 --> 00:03:16,010
Buongiorno!
55
00:03:16,885 --> 00:03:18,178
Buongiorno!
56
00:03:22,808 --> 00:03:24,476
Oh, wow!
57
00:03:24,810 --> 00:03:26,812
I was just on Earth!
58
00:03:27,229 --> 00:03:28,439
It was incredible!
59
00:03:28,814 --> 00:03:31,900
The-the traffic... the pigeons!
60
00:03:32,026 --> 00:03:35,571
And I saw this place that was at once
a Pizza Hut
61
00:03:35,654 --> 00:03:37,239
and a Taco Bell!
62
00:03:37,656 --> 00:03:41,327
I mean, oh... the mind reels!
63
00:03:42,036 --> 00:03:46,457
A Pizza Hut and a Taco Bell! Ah!
64
00:03:53,213 --> 00:03:55,924
Oh, Janet,
it was everything I ever imagined.
65
00:03:56,008 --> 00:03:57,301
I got to ride a bike.
66
00:03:57,468 --> 00:04:00,262
I put a coin in a thing and got a gumball.
67
00:04:00,596 --> 00:04:03,432
And then someone came up to me and said,
"Hot enough for ya?"
68
00:04:03,557 --> 00:04:04,516
And you know what I said?
69
00:04:04,558 --> 00:04:06,310
I said, "Tell me about it."
70
00:04:06,435 --> 00:04:08,812
While I am glad
that you got to chew a gumball...
71
00:04:08,854 --> 00:04:10,272
Oh, damn.
72
00:04:10,814 --> 00:04:12,524
I didn't even think to chew it.
73
00:04:13,525 --> 00:04:15,027
Missed opportunity. Shoot.
74
00:04:15,235 --> 00:04:17,071
...did you also save their lives?
75
00:04:17,154 --> 00:04:19,490
Yes, of course. Everyone is safe.
76
00:04:20,324 --> 00:04:21,283
Including Jason.
77
00:04:22,242 --> 00:04:26,246
Now, just sit back
and watch as they become better people.
78
00:04:27,456 --> 00:04:29,041
Being good is for suckers!
79
00:04:29,124 --> 00:04:31,085
What do you even get out of it? I quit.
80
00:04:31,251 --> 00:04:33,253
Eat my farts, Benedict Cumberbatch.
81
00:04:35,756 --> 00:04:37,424
Morning, Chidi!
Blueberry muffin for ya?
82
00:04:37,508 --> 00:04:38,675
Uh... I-I don't know.
83
00:04:38,759 --> 00:04:39,718
Maybe. I can't decide.
84
00:04:39,927 --> 00:04:41,553
- You alright there, mate?
- OK.
85
00:04:41,929 --> 00:04:42,930
I've made my decision.
86
00:04:43,597 --> 00:04:44,973
I want to...
87
00:04:45,391 --> 00:04:47,267
start crying!
88
00:04:54,441 --> 00:04:58,237
Hey, Tahani Al-Jamil.
I'm from International Sophisticate Magazine.
89
00:04:58,278 --> 00:05:00,489
Mind if we ask you 582 questions?
90
00:05:00,614 --> 00:05:01,657
Sounds delightful!
91
00:05:02,032 --> 00:05:03,409
Where are we, exactly?
92
00:05:03,492 --> 00:05:06,495
My pied-à-terre,
just off the coast of Barcelona.
93
00:05:06,662 --> 00:05:08,956
What's one thing
people don't know about you?
94
00:05:09,039 --> 00:05:11,583
That I was such a tomboy in high school.
95
00:05:11,792 --> 00:05:12,668
See?
96
00:05:12,876 --> 00:05:15,421
Wow! Looking good! OK, next question.
97
00:05:15,754 --> 00:05:18,590
Who would you say is the most famous person
in your phone?
98
00:05:18,674 --> 00:05:22,469
It's not about "who you know."
Enlightenment comes from within.
99
00:05:24,346 --> 00:05:26,014
The Dalai Lama texted me that.
100
00:05:29,643 --> 00:05:32,771
Kay, will you make me the happiest man
in the world
101
00:05:32,813 --> 00:05:34,523
and agree to be my wife?
102
00:05:35,482 --> 00:05:36,483
No.
103
00:05:37,109 --> 00:05:39,528
Do you think my name is the letter "K"?
104
00:05:39,653 --> 00:05:42,489
Just say yes! If we're married,
legally you can't arrest me.
105
00:05:42,698 --> 00:05:44,992
Plus, bonus,
you get half the stuff I stole!
106
00:05:45,742 --> 00:05:47,703
Yeah, he just confessed to the robbery.
107
00:05:48,078 --> 00:05:49,037
Dammit!
108
00:05:53,667 --> 00:05:56,211
You realise what the problem is, right?
109
00:05:56,336 --> 00:05:57,963
Yes, but there's no way to help.
110
00:06:02,759 --> 00:06:03,677
Maybe there is.
111
00:06:03,802 --> 00:06:07,514
In the afterlife, they all got better
because they helped each other.
112
00:06:08,307 --> 00:06:10,976
And the key to that
was Chidi and Eleanor's connection.
113
00:06:11,059 --> 00:06:13,604
If I get the two of them together,
everything else will follow.
114
00:06:13,645 --> 00:06:15,981
- Michael, no--
- I'm gonna meet Eleanor someplace
115
00:06:16,023 --> 00:06:19,735
and plant the idea in her mind
that she needs to find Chidi.
116
00:06:19,943 --> 00:06:21,778
Oh, and then maybe I'll visit Chidi
117
00:06:21,820 --> 00:06:24,114
and make sure that he helps her
when she shows up.
118
00:06:24,364 --> 00:06:25,866
I'm just gonna nudge
the two of them together.
119
00:06:25,908 --> 00:06:27,034
Just nudgey-nudge-nudge.
120
00:06:27,117 --> 00:06:29,495
The Judge was pretty clear
in her instructions
121
00:06:29,578 --> 00:06:32,414
and the Judge is, you know, the Judge
122
00:06:32,581 --> 00:06:35,667
of, you know, The Universe.
123
00:06:36,043 --> 00:06:37,127
She'll never find out.
124
00:06:37,211 --> 00:06:40,589
She spends all her time in her chambers
bingeing TV shows.
125
00:06:40,672 --> 00:06:43,050
She's watching all of "N.C.I.S." right now!
126
00:06:45,511 --> 00:06:46,386
Hey, there.
127
00:06:47,554 --> 00:06:49,223
Need to head on back to Earth.
128
00:06:49,806 --> 00:06:51,058
Hm. Travel papers?
129
00:06:51,141 --> 00:06:54,561
Yeah. You know, the, uh... Judge said
to use the same ones.
130
00:06:55,437 --> 00:06:57,856
Cos I'm, um, you know,
visiting the same people.
131
00:06:58,023 --> 00:07:01,360
Yeah, oh yeah... I almost forgot.
Brought you a nice hot cup of anti-matter.
132
00:07:02,319 --> 00:07:04,488
I usually only drink decaf anti-matter.
133
00:07:04,821 --> 00:07:06,240
- Ah.
- Eh, I'll take it.
134
00:07:06,615 --> 00:07:07,574
It's only 4:30.
135
00:07:07,658 --> 00:07:09,910
- My shift doesn't end till nine billion.
- Oof!
136
00:07:12,037 --> 00:07:12,996
What do I owe ya?
137
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:14,373
The real question, Eleanor...
138
00:07:15,582 --> 00:07:17,042
is "what do we owe to each other?"
139
00:07:17,751 --> 00:07:20,045
What do we owe to each other?
140
00:07:20,629 --> 00:07:23,298
That is the question Tim Scanlon
asked decades ago
141
00:07:24,049 --> 00:07:28,303
and it is the question I will try to answer
over the next three hours.
142
00:07:28,470 --> 00:07:30,013
Are you Chidi Anna...
143
00:07:30,264 --> 00:07:31,181
Kendrick?
144
00:07:31,306 --> 00:07:32,975
Anagonye. And yes.
145
00:07:33,058 --> 00:07:35,477
Great. Hi. My name is Eleanor Shellstrop.
146
00:07:37,062 --> 00:07:38,021
Can we talk?
147
00:07:38,939 --> 00:07:39,815
Sure.
148
00:07:39,940 --> 00:07:41,858
OK. Uh, where do I start?
149
00:07:42,276 --> 00:07:45,779
I'm not, like,
the best person in the world.
150
00:07:45,946 --> 00:07:47,781
I'm a trash bag from Arizona
151
00:07:48,198 --> 00:07:49,324
which is saying something.
152
00:07:49,408 --> 00:07:52,035
Our biggest exports are racist sheriffs
and HPV.
153
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:54,621
But about a year ago,
something crazy happened
154
00:07:54,705 --> 00:07:56,039
and I...
155
00:07:56,164 --> 00:07:58,125
- T'es prêt, Chidi?
- Allez-y sans moi.
156
00:07:58,250 --> 00:07:59,626
- Je serai là.
- D'accord.
157
00:07:59,710 --> 00:08:00,627
A tout à l'heure.
158
00:08:02,254 --> 00:08:04,423
Sorry, I've been flying for like 40 hours.
159
00:08:04,506 --> 00:08:06,341
This is Australia, right?
160
00:08:06,508 --> 00:08:09,845
Yes, I grew up in Senegal,
so my native language is French
161
00:08:10,012 --> 00:08:12,848
but I went to American schools,
so I also speak English.
162
00:08:12,931 --> 00:08:14,725
- Oh--
- And German, and Greek
163
00:08:14,808 --> 00:08:17,060
and Latin, just in case it ever comes back.
164
00:08:17,853 --> 00:08:21,356
Cool. I once got 12 out of 12
on a BuzzFeed quiz called
165
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,900
"Do You Know All the Slang Words
the Kardashians Invented?"
166
00:08:24,109 --> 00:08:25,861
- Congratulations?
- Thank you.
167
00:08:26,361 --> 00:08:27,904
I'm gonna be honest, I did cheat.
168
00:08:27,946 --> 00:08:29,615
But you were saying something crazy
happened to you?
169
00:08:29,698 --> 00:08:32,826
Yes! Uh, I almost died.
170
00:08:32,951 --> 00:08:35,287
And it made me want to become
a better person
171
00:08:35,329 --> 00:08:36,997
Which I did, for a while
172
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,916
but then I fell back into my old
trash bag ways...
173
00:08:40,208 --> 00:08:43,545
but yesterday I saw your lecture,
and something just clicked.
174
00:08:43,712 --> 00:08:47,966
Wait, you flew all the way here
from Arizona, just to see me?
175
00:08:48,091 --> 00:08:50,093
You know what, don't flatter yourself, pal!
176
00:08:50,427 --> 00:08:53,597
Sorry, that's a knee jerk reaction.
Yes, that's exactly what I did.
177
00:08:54,097 --> 00:08:56,933
And I know that seems "zonkatronic"
178
00:08:57,017 --> 00:08:58,310
that's Khloe's word for "crazy"
179
00:08:58,602 --> 00:09:03,565
but I need someone to help guide me,
morally speaking
180
00:09:03,607 --> 00:09:07,027
and... I think I need it to be you.
181
00:09:07,277 --> 00:09:08,362
What do you say?
182
00:09:08,528 --> 00:09:11,239
Will you help me become a good person?
183
00:09:14,993 --> 00:09:15,869
Yes.
184
00:09:23,710 --> 00:09:27,089
I'll start you off with some introductory
philosophy books
185
00:09:27,172 --> 00:09:29,549
- and then we'll meet here once a week?
- Great!
186
00:09:30,550 --> 00:09:32,344
- Can I ask you something?
- Mm-hm.
187
00:09:33,261 --> 00:09:34,638
Why are you helping me?
188
00:09:35,972 --> 00:09:37,683
I'm a teacher. That's my job.
189
00:09:37,891 --> 00:09:39,226
Yeah, but I'm not your student.
190
00:09:39,309 --> 00:09:42,187
I'm just some hot rando
who walked in off the street.
191
00:09:42,688 --> 00:09:44,064
There's gotta be another reason.
192
00:09:45,482 --> 00:09:47,442
Yes, there is. Um...
193
00:09:48,318 --> 00:09:50,278
I also had a near-death experience.
194
00:09:50,404 --> 00:09:51,947
- Whoa.
- But, I mean, I don't know for sure
195
00:09:51,988 --> 00:09:54,449
that I would've died,
but it was pretty nuts...
196
00:09:54,866 --> 00:09:57,202
I-I'm sorry, but this is an
important moment in our friendship--
197
00:09:57,244 --> 00:09:58,453
On your right, mate!
198
00:09:58,537 --> 00:09:59,621
Geez, watch it, man!
199
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:03,917
Oh, my God! Are you OK?
200
00:10:04,501 --> 00:10:06,545
That... that is right where I was standing!
201
00:10:06,837 --> 00:10:09,464
I was frozen here,
unable to make a simple decision
202
00:10:10,090 --> 00:10:12,384
and I almost got crushed
by an air conditioner.
203
00:10:12,634 --> 00:10:13,760
This is a sign.
204
00:10:14,636 --> 00:10:16,346
I shouldn't be using air conditioners!
205
00:10:16,388 --> 00:10:18,181
The Freon is awful for the environment!
206
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,809
That's the lesson you take from this?
207
00:10:21,893 --> 00:10:22,811
Chidi...
208
00:10:22,978 --> 00:10:25,731
Your brain is broken.
You need to fix your brain.
209
00:10:28,567 --> 00:10:32,946
So, in a nutshell, I have a 3,600 page
thesis that I am nowhere near finishing.
210
00:10:32,988 --> 00:10:37,826
I am absolutely paralysed by decision-making,
and it is destroying my life.
211
00:10:38,285 --> 00:10:41,496
Yeah, I sorta got that
when you couldn't choose a chair to sit on.
212
00:10:41,621 --> 00:10:44,499
Well, I-I didn't want to offend you
in case you had a favourite.
213
00:10:44,958 --> 00:10:47,294
Look, I know I just kind of...
214
00:10:47,335 --> 00:10:48,503
Nope... walked in here
215
00:10:48,545 --> 00:10:51,339
and you don't know me at all,
but is there any way to tell
216
00:10:51,381 --> 00:10:54,968
if my indecision is due to, uh...
a... brain... thing?
217
00:10:55,135 --> 00:10:56,386
Oh, yeah. Sure.
218
00:10:56,928 --> 00:10:59,389
Well, what we do is,
we make a lengthy incision
219
00:10:59,431 --> 00:11:01,641
from your eyebrows to the nape of your neck
220
00:11:01,683 --> 00:11:03,685
and we peel your face back, right?
221
00:11:03,727 --> 00:11:05,228
Then slice your skull open.
222
00:11:05,437 --> 00:11:09,149
And then I just randomly stab at your brain
with an electrified needle.
223
00:11:09,357 --> 00:11:12,110
The fun part is,
you're awake the whole time.
224
00:11:13,612 --> 00:11:15,071
Uh...
225
00:11:15,113 --> 00:11:16,531
I'm kidding! No.
226
00:11:16,990 --> 00:11:19,075
I'll just give you an MRI
and look at the part of your brain
227
00:11:19,117 --> 00:11:20,160
that controls decision-making.
228
00:11:20,660 --> 00:11:22,204
Oh, I... I want that!
229
00:11:22,496 --> 00:11:24,498
I need to learn about my brain. Please.
230
00:11:25,165 --> 00:11:28,460
Well, so, you just march into my office
unannounced
231
00:11:28,627 --> 00:11:31,379
tell me your brain is broken,
then demand I drop everything
232
00:11:31,421 --> 00:11:34,925
and just put you in the university's
$3 million MRI machine?
233
00:11:35,425 --> 00:11:36,843
Oh, I'm sorry, I...
234
00:11:36,885 --> 00:11:39,054
I freakin' love it!
235
00:11:39,179 --> 00:11:41,097
You're so weird! Let's go!
236
00:11:41,848 --> 00:11:43,350
- Right now?
- Oh, yeah! Come on.
237
00:11:43,391 --> 00:11:44,267
O-OK.
238
00:11:46,436 --> 00:11:47,938
This is your hippocampus.
239
00:11:48,146 --> 00:11:50,232
It regulates memory. Yours looks great!
240
00:11:50,315 --> 00:11:52,400
Very strong, gorgeous hippocampus here.
241
00:11:53,985 --> 00:11:58,323
This is your ventromedial prefrontal cortex,
the centre of decision-making.
242
00:11:58,532 --> 00:12:01,910
This is where the magic happens!
Do you see how it's all lit up?
243
00:12:02,327 --> 00:12:05,163
That's a flurry of activity that occurred
when I asked you to choose between
244
00:12:05,205 --> 00:12:06,790
red and blue, and you almost passed out.
245
00:12:07,082 --> 00:12:08,834
Is it too late to pick blue instead?
246
00:12:09,251 --> 00:12:10,794
It is. Yeah.
247
00:12:11,253 --> 00:12:14,256
Point is, at first glance,
your brain is very healthy.
248
00:12:14,798 --> 00:12:17,050
Huh, there are... actual answers here.
249
00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:19,469
Data you can observe, and learn from.
250
00:12:19,553 --> 00:12:22,347
Yeah, man!
Science is all about getting answers.
251
00:12:22,556 --> 00:12:26,434
You philosophers can spend your entire life
mulling over a single question.
252
00:12:27,018 --> 00:12:29,145
That's why everyone hates
moral philosophy professors.
253
00:12:29,271 --> 00:12:30,480
No offence.
254
00:12:30,564 --> 00:12:32,148
- Nope. None taken. We suck!
- Yeah.
255
00:12:39,531 --> 00:12:40,407
Chidi!
256
00:12:40,866 --> 00:12:42,284
One blueberry muffin, please.
257
00:12:42,784 --> 00:12:46,288
So, why do it then?
Why choose to be good, every day?
258
00:12:46,788 --> 00:12:50,542
I argue that we choose to be good
because of our bonds with other people.
259
00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:54,212
Simply put... we are not in this alone.
260
00:12:55,088 --> 00:12:56,965
Thank you.
261
00:12:57,591 --> 00:12:59,092
Wow, Chidi!
262
00:12:59,676 --> 00:13:01,928
You chose that muffin
in less than a minute.
263
00:13:02,304 --> 00:13:03,889
That beats your old record by...
264
00:13:04,264 --> 00:13:05,307
59 minutes.
265
00:13:05,390 --> 00:13:07,767
Henry, I feel amazing.
266
00:13:07,851 --> 00:13:11,146
I am 100 pages into my new thesis
and it is some of the best writing
267
00:13:11,229 --> 00:13:14,065
that I have ever done.
I haven't been this happy since...
268
00:13:15,567 --> 00:13:16,484
Oh, wow.
269
00:13:16,943 --> 00:13:18,862
I've never been happy. Huh!
270
00:13:19,738 --> 00:13:20,697
Bad!
271
00:13:20,864 --> 00:13:23,491
I'm proud of you, mate.
Must be really nice to live that way.
272
00:13:23,575 --> 00:13:26,077
Well, that's the beauty of it -
anyone can live this way.
273
00:13:26,161 --> 00:13:28,705
Just decide to be more decisive.
274
00:13:28,788 --> 00:13:30,707
Like, what's something that you've always
wanted to do?
275
00:13:30,790 --> 00:13:33,293
I mean, I have been putting off
getting in shape.
276
00:13:33,376 --> 00:13:37,172
Then make the decision to wake up
tomorrow morning, and get in shape.
277
00:13:37,255 --> 00:13:38,590
It is that easy.
278
00:13:38,673 --> 00:13:41,843
- OK! Maybe I will!
- I mean, what have you got to lose?
279
00:13:41,927 --> 00:13:43,053
Nothing!
280
00:13:45,055 --> 00:13:46,348
Henry! What happened to you?
281
00:13:46,431 --> 00:13:48,767
Well, I was using the leg press at the gym
282
00:13:49,017 --> 00:13:51,811
and you know how your legs
bend a certain way?
283
00:13:52,312 --> 00:13:54,022
My legs bend the other way now.
284
00:13:54,105 --> 00:13:54,981
Oh, no.
285
00:13:55,231 --> 00:13:57,859
All the tendons in my legs
snapped like violin strings.
286
00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:01,237
And then my foot flew forwards
and I kicked myself in the face
287
00:14:01,279 --> 00:14:02,405
which gave me a concussion.
288
00:14:02,489 --> 00:14:04,074
This is all my fault.
289
00:14:04,366 --> 00:14:05,909
I did this to you. I...
290
00:14:06,326 --> 00:14:08,954
Muffins! I brought blueberry muffins!
291
00:14:09,204 --> 00:14:11,247
Oh, no, you shouldn't eat blueberries
anymore.
292
00:14:11,373 --> 00:14:14,960
Read an article, the migrant workers
who pick them are horribly mistreated.
293
00:14:16,127 --> 00:14:18,838
Gaaaaaah!
294
00:14:21,341 --> 00:14:23,134
Morning, Chidi! Blueberry muffin for ya?
295
00:14:23,218 --> 00:14:24,636
Uh... I... I don't know. Maybe?
296
00:14:24,678 --> 00:14:26,554
- I can't decide.
- You alright there, mate?
297
00:14:26,805 --> 00:14:28,223
OK, I've made my decision.
298
00:14:28,848 --> 00:14:30,266
I want to...
299
00:14:30,642 --> 00:14:32,644
start crying!
300
00:14:36,940 --> 00:14:37,899
Excuse me?
301
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,277
What is the maximum number of books
that I can check out? Is it 12,000?
302
00:14:41,444 --> 00:14:42,988
Got a wild weekend planned?
303
00:14:43,071 --> 00:14:45,073
Well, I need to find a new topic
for my thesis
304
00:14:45,156 --> 00:14:47,742
and I had this thing happen
that made me more decisive
305
00:14:47,784 --> 00:14:49,536
and a few months ago,
my friend broke both of his legs
306
00:14:49,577 --> 00:14:51,371
and it's my fault, and blueberries,
and I need help!
307
00:14:51,579 --> 00:14:52,455
Whoo!
308
00:14:52,539 --> 00:14:55,917
Maybe that help will come from
Tay Zonday's autobiography
309
00:14:56,001 --> 00:14:58,294
"Chocolate Book"! I mean, who's to say?
310
00:14:58,378 --> 00:15:01,423
Mate, I've worked in
this library a long time
311
00:15:01,464 --> 00:15:06,845
and I've seen a lot of academic types
with that same helpless look on their faces.
312
00:15:07,220 --> 00:15:09,222
They all made it through OK
313
00:15:10,056 --> 00:15:11,683
once they learned the secret.
314
00:15:12,183 --> 00:15:14,144
What's the secret? There's a secret?
Is the secret more books?
315
00:15:14,185 --> 00:15:16,438
- How many more books do I need?
- It's not about books, mate.
316
00:15:16,479 --> 00:15:18,356
It's about perspective.
317
00:15:18,857 --> 00:15:22,652
Sometimes, when you're feeling helpless,
the secret is to help someone else.
318
00:15:22,819 --> 00:15:24,529
Get out of your own head. Trust me.
319
00:15:24,904 --> 00:15:26,906
The next time someone asks for help
320
00:15:27,741 --> 00:15:28,867
say "yes."
321
00:15:31,619 --> 00:15:34,706
A few hours later,
you walked in and asked for help.
322
00:15:35,081 --> 00:15:37,959
Now, I don't know if this is going to solve
all of my problems
323
00:15:38,001 --> 00:15:40,628
but it's worth a try, right?
324
00:15:40,837 --> 00:15:43,465
Well, thank you, sexy librarian guy!
325
00:15:43,590 --> 00:15:45,550
I didn't say he was sexy.
326
00:15:45,842 --> 00:15:48,470
Oh, I know, but whenever anyone
tells me a story about their life
327
00:15:48,511 --> 00:15:50,805
I always imagine all the people
as being super hot
328
00:15:50,847 --> 00:15:52,182
otherwise I quickly lose interest.
329
00:15:52,849 --> 00:15:53,975
Do you not do that?
330
00:15:54,059 --> 00:15:55,435
You can do it for free.
331
00:15:58,396 --> 00:16:02,233
I gotta say, I enjoyed playing the role
of "mysterious librarian".
332
00:16:02,358 --> 00:16:03,234
And I really...
333
00:16:03,276 --> 00:16:05,612
...nailed the Australian accent.
334
00:16:05,695 --> 00:16:07,322
Uh-huh. Flawless.
335
00:16:07,405 --> 00:16:08,281
Thank you.
336
00:16:08,364 --> 00:16:12,535
But the point is, Eleanor and Chidi
are together and now we can relax.
337
00:16:12,619 --> 00:16:14,829
Everything is finally on track.
338
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,128
Status report.
339
00:16:22,212 --> 00:16:25,090
They're plugging away, but we still can't
hack into the Judge's system.
340
00:16:25,256 --> 00:16:26,216
Damn it!
341
00:16:26,382 --> 00:16:29,094
Those four humans have been on Earth
for over a year.
342
00:16:29,260 --> 00:16:31,554
I need to know if they're getting better.
343
00:16:31,679 --> 00:16:32,806
Can I just ask...
344
00:16:33,223 --> 00:16:35,350
we torture like 30 billion humans.
345
00:16:35,433 --> 00:16:37,393
Why do you care so much about these four?
346
00:16:40,563 --> 00:16:41,439
Never mind.
347
00:16:41,856 --> 00:16:42,732
Forget I asked.
348
00:16:44,442 --> 00:16:46,486
Serves him right for questioning you, boss!
349
00:16:46,569 --> 00:16:48,988
- I think you're doing a great job.
- Thank you, Todd.
350
00:16:49,614 --> 00:16:50,573
No-no-no--!
351
00:16:50,657 --> 00:16:51,699
Why did you do that?
352
00:16:51,908 --> 00:16:53,993
I'm a demon. It's fun.
353
00:16:54,577 --> 00:16:57,789
No one leaves this room until
we've accessed the Judge's system.
354
00:16:57,956 --> 00:17:00,583
Would music help? Should I play some music?
355
00:17:01,209 --> 00:17:02,085
Good idea.
356
00:17:02,210 --> 00:17:04,838
Choose something deeply terrible,
to inspire us.
357
00:17:09,592 --> 00:17:11,636
- ♪ Wherever you go ♪
- Oh, yeah.
358
00:17:11,719 --> 00:17:13,555
- ♪ Whatever you do ♪
- That's the stuff.
359
00:17:14,222 --> 00:17:17,851
So, for Aristotle, virtue is practical.
360
00:17:18,017 --> 00:17:20,478
"Goodness" isn't something that a person
just inherently has
361
00:17:20,562 --> 00:17:23,773
it's something that she achieves
through her actions.
362
00:17:24,107 --> 00:17:26,317
- Questions?
- Uh, yeah, a few.
363
00:17:26,693 --> 00:17:29,154
I wrote down, "What?", "Huh?"
364
00:17:29,279 --> 00:17:33,074
and then this doodle of a burrito,
because when I first read "Aristotle"
365
00:17:33,116 --> 00:17:35,160
I thought it was
pronounced like "Chipotle."
366
00:17:35,618 --> 00:17:37,745
Wait a minute, is it "Chippa-tottle?"
367
00:17:38,329 --> 00:17:43,626
These are all great questions, but I have to
meet my thesis advisor across campus.
368
00:17:43,710 --> 00:17:46,087
Oh. Uh, well, I'm headed that way too.
I'll walk with you.
369
00:17:46,421 --> 00:17:47,463
Hey, so...
370
00:17:48,339 --> 00:17:51,593
I've been trying to figure out
how to pay you back for helping me.
371
00:17:51,801 --> 00:17:53,845
I told you, you don't owe me anything.
372
00:17:53,970 --> 00:17:56,848
At home, when I want to get something nice
for one of my friends
373
00:17:56,931 --> 00:17:59,726
it usually comes in the
form of something...
374
00:18:00,268 --> 00:18:01,144
edible.
375
00:18:01,311 --> 00:18:03,354
You get what I'm saying? An edible thing?
376
00:18:03,479 --> 00:18:05,565
- Please don't buy me drugs.
- OK. Copy that.
377
00:18:06,232 --> 00:18:09,194
I had no choice. I was in his driveway
taking pictures when he walked out.
378
00:18:09,277 --> 00:18:12,030
So I said, "Hey, Mister Crowe,
I'm from the gas company.
379
00:18:12,113 --> 00:18:13,323
I loved you in Gladiator.
380
00:18:13,448 --> 00:18:14,365
Chidi!
381
00:18:14,407 --> 00:18:15,283
- Hey!
- Hey.
382
00:18:15,325 --> 00:18:17,493
- I got a question...
- Is it "What's my thesis topic?"
383
00:18:17,535 --> 00:18:20,246
- Because I still don't know!
- No, it's not that.
384
00:18:21,831 --> 00:18:23,499
Oh, I'm sorry, you guys haven't met yet.
385
00:18:23,541 --> 00:18:25,043
Um, Simone, this is Eleanor.
386
00:18:25,210 --> 00:18:27,086
The famous Simone! Nice to meet you.
387
00:18:27,253 --> 00:18:28,213
You too.
388
00:18:28,504 --> 00:18:31,466
So, I've gotta do some MRI scans
as a control for an experiment
389
00:18:31,549 --> 00:18:34,677
and since you loved it so much last time,
I was wondering if you could just
390
00:18:34,761 --> 00:18:36,596
- pop back in there, help me out?
- Oh, absolutely.
391
00:18:36,804 --> 00:18:39,057
Cool. OK, well, just come by my lab at six
392
00:18:39,140 --> 00:18:40,934
and then afterwards I can buy you dinner
as a thank you.
393
00:18:41,059 --> 00:18:42,977
Oh, no, no, you don't have to do that.
394
00:18:43,269 --> 00:18:44,395
Oh. OK!
395
00:18:44,896 --> 00:18:47,023
Well, uh... I'll see ya later.
Nice to meet you.
396
00:18:47,106 --> 00:18:47,982
You too.
397
00:18:51,444 --> 00:18:52,612
- What?
- Uh...
398
00:18:52,737 --> 00:18:55,990
you and Simone had some real professor dork
vibes flowing.
399
00:18:56,366 --> 00:18:58,910
You're both teachers...
who are hot for a teacher!
400
00:18:59,077 --> 00:19:01,788
How have you not asked her out yet?
401
00:19:01,913 --> 00:19:02,830
Are you scared?
402
00:19:02,872 --> 00:19:05,541
No, it's not impressive to guess
that I'm scared, Eleanor.
403
00:19:05,583 --> 00:19:09,671
I'm scared of everything.
And I can't just... do things like that.
404
00:19:10,004 --> 00:19:11,172
- Just drop it, OK?
- Well--
405
00:19:11,214 --> 00:19:13,216
OK, just promise me you'll drop it?
406
00:19:14,759 --> 00:19:15,635
OK.
407
00:19:15,969 --> 00:19:16,928
I promise.
408
00:19:17,679 --> 00:19:19,597
So, you're into Chidi, right?
409
00:19:19,973 --> 00:19:23,101
I mean, forgive my bluntness,
but I'm usually right about these things.
410
00:19:23,559 --> 00:19:26,396
Well, yeah, but I've made it pretty clear
a bunch of times
411
00:19:26,437 --> 00:19:29,482
and he's never responded,
so I just assumed he wasn't interested.
412
00:19:29,607 --> 00:19:30,900
OK, I'm all set.
413
00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:33,820
I'm just gonna ask you some
basic questions, Chidi, uh...
414
00:19:33,903 --> 00:19:35,488
what is one plus one?
415
00:19:35,613 --> 00:19:37,240
- Two.
- What colour is the sky?
416
00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:40,159
- Blue.
- What colour are Simone's eyes?
417
00:19:40,326 --> 00:19:42,412
Brown. Wh... I... uh, what?
418
00:19:43,871 --> 00:19:46,249
If you could take Simone anywhere,
on a date
419
00:19:46,416 --> 00:19:47,667
where would you take her?
420
00:19:47,917 --> 00:19:49,711
Sorry, is this part of the experiment?
421
00:19:49,794 --> 00:19:50,920
It is now. Yes.
422
00:19:51,004 --> 00:19:52,005
Please answer the question.
423
00:19:52,046 --> 00:19:54,257
And keep in mind we can see your brain.
424
00:19:54,590 --> 00:19:56,801
Next question, you are into Simone.
425
00:19:56,926 --> 00:19:57,927
That's not a question.
426
00:19:58,094 --> 00:19:59,846
So you agree, it's a fact.
427
00:19:59,971 --> 00:20:01,264
Next question's for Simone.
428
00:20:01,347 --> 00:20:04,726
Simone, are you annoyed at Chidi
for waiting so long to ask you out?
429
00:20:04,809 --> 00:20:05,685
Yes, I am.
430
00:20:05,768 --> 00:20:08,646
Chidi, same question for you,
are you annoyed at yourself
431
00:20:08,730 --> 00:20:10,481
for waiting so long to ask out Simone?
432
00:20:10,565 --> 00:20:13,359
I mean, I'm annoyed with you
and I've only known you three weeks.
433
00:20:13,526 --> 00:20:16,612
Yes, I am obviously very
annoyed with myself.
434
00:20:16,696 --> 00:20:19,157
- Can I get out now?
- No, you can't, it'll ruin the science.
435
00:20:19,282 --> 00:20:22,952
There's only one question left,
and you gotta ask it, bud.
436
00:20:25,872 --> 00:20:28,624
Simone, would you like to have dinner
with me?
437
00:20:29,334 --> 00:20:31,169
Wow. That is highly inappropriate.
438
00:20:31,252 --> 00:20:32,462
Uh...
439
00:20:32,503 --> 00:20:35,089
I'm just kidding. Yes, I would.
Thank you for asking.
440
00:20:36,132 --> 00:20:37,592
Oh, cute!
441
00:20:37,675 --> 00:20:38,801
This is a disaster!
442
00:20:38,885 --> 00:20:40,094
Michael, relax.
443
00:20:40,261 --> 00:20:41,846
How the two of them gonna bond?
444
00:20:41,929 --> 00:20:44,849
There were plenty of reboots where
Eleanor and Chidi weren't even soulmates
445
00:20:44,932 --> 00:20:46,642
and he still always helped her.
446
00:20:46,976 --> 00:20:49,103
Simone and Chidi are good together!
447
00:20:49,479 --> 00:20:52,106
I've been running simulations
on what their kids will be like.
448
00:20:52,231 --> 00:20:54,776
One of them is hot enough
to be on The Bachelor
449
00:20:54,984 --> 00:20:57,612
and smart enough to never go
on The Bachelor!
450
00:20:58,029 --> 00:20:59,572
This is not just about Chidi.
451
00:20:59,906 --> 00:21:01,532
I've left too much to chance.
452
00:21:02,116 --> 00:21:05,828
Until our group is back together again,
this whole thing is hanging by a thread.
453
00:21:06,245 --> 00:21:07,288
I'm going back down.
454
00:21:07,914 --> 00:21:09,082
You're pressing your luck.
455
00:21:09,165 --> 00:21:11,959
If you keep disobeying Mummy,
something bad is going to happen!
456
00:21:12,251 --> 00:21:13,795
- What?
- Oh, I don't have a mum
457
00:21:13,836 --> 00:21:17,590
so I've been experimenting with thinking of
the Judge as my mum.
458
00:21:18,007 --> 00:21:18,883
It's weird.
459
00:21:18,925 --> 00:21:19,801
- Forget it.
- OK.
460
00:21:19,842 --> 00:21:22,261
How are you even gonna get Jason and Tahani
to Australia?
461
00:21:22,595 --> 00:21:24,680
I have no idea. But I have to try.
462
00:21:25,014 --> 00:21:25,890
Well...
463
00:21:25,973 --> 00:21:26,849
Good luck, Dad.
464
00:21:26,891 --> 00:21:28,476
Nope! Also weird. Just go.