1 00:00:09,947 --> 00:00:12,033 Not in this Janet. Next! 2 00:00:17,580 --> 00:00:18,914 What are you waiting for? Do it. 3 00:00:18,998 --> 00:00:20,499 It's not that easy. 4 00:00:20,583 --> 00:00:23,836 He lived a whole life, and then 802 afterlives, 5 00:00:23,919 --> 00:00:26,172 then a second life, then a second afterlife, 6 00:00:26,255 --> 00:00:28,007 then a third first afterlife... 7 00:00:28,090 --> 00:00:32,094 His psyche's like a giant bowl of M&M Peep chili. 8 00:00:32,178 --> 00:00:35,097 I gotta make sure all the memories go in the right place, in the right order. 9 00:00:35,181 --> 00:00:38,059 Maybe I just start him at the beginning. A full factory reset. 10 00:00:38,142 --> 00:00:41,020 Man. Janet, can I please have a drink with a lot of alcohol in it? 11 00:00:41,103 --> 00:00:43,939 Here, I saved this from my funeral. It's called a Duval Ditchwater. 12 00:00:44,023 --> 00:00:46,150 It's Midori, Coffee-Mate and ditch water! 13 00:00:46,233 --> 00:00:47,985 -I'll get you a margarita. -Yeah, that sounds better. 14 00:00:48,068 --> 00:00:49,653 It's not! Seriously, try this. 15 00:00:49,737 --> 00:00:51,614 -Okay, here we go. - Whoa-- 16 00:01:08,631 --> 00:01:09,757 Ooh. 17 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:11,258 He has your eyes. 18 00:01:11,342 --> 00:01:12,927 And your smile. 19 00:01:13,010 --> 00:01:15,429 -Now, he just needs a name. - Big decision. 20 00:01:15,513 --> 00:01:18,766 -How about Chidi? - Oh, I like that. 21 00:01:18,849 --> 00:01:22,436 Do you like it, Chidi? Or would you like a different name? 22 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:24,563 - Oh. 23 00:01:24,647 --> 00:01:26,190 Looks like he has a tummyache. 24 00:01:26,273 --> 00:01:27,108 Oh. 25 00:01:27,191 --> 00:01:28,067 Chidi. 26 00:01:34,740 --> 00:01:37,451 You're not listening to me. Everything always has to be your way. 27 00:01:37,535 --> 00:01:39,078 And what is the one right way then? 28 00:01:39,161 --> 00:01:41,413 I mean, how many times have I told you this? 29 00:01:41,497 --> 00:01:42,832 I thought this is what you wanted. 30 00:01:42,915 --> 00:01:44,542 No! It's obviously what you want. 31 00:01:44,625 --> 00:01:46,919 You're just angry that your book was rejected. 32 00:01:47,002 --> 00:01:48,212 How dare you bring that up again? 33 00:01:48,295 --> 00:01:50,130 You're always at the university. 34 00:01:50,214 --> 00:01:54,218 How about you show some interest in someone who didn't die 200 years ago? 35 00:01:54,301 --> 00:01:55,678 I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. 36 00:01:55,761 --> 00:01:56,846 We need to go back to Nigeria. 37 00:01:56,929 --> 00:01:58,722 No, we are not going back. 38 00:01:58,806 --> 00:02:01,559 My family is here and we did this for your career. 39 00:02:01,642 --> 00:02:03,060 - Oh. 40 00:02:04,937 --> 00:02:07,606 -Good morning, Chidi. -Would you like some breakfast? 41 00:02:07,690 --> 00:02:09,108 I have a presentation. 42 00:02:09,191 --> 00:02:12,153 Here's the syllabus. Take one and pass them on. 43 00:02:12,236 --> 00:02:15,322 My lecture will take approximately 55 minutes. 44 00:02:15,406 --> 00:02:17,616 Let's begin, shall we? 45 00:02:18,242 --> 00:02:21,996 In conclusion, there is one clear answer, 46 00:02:22,079 --> 00:02:24,790 and it's that the two of you should stay married. 47 00:02:24,874 --> 00:02:26,125 Questions? 48 00:02:26,208 --> 00:02:31,380 That was clear... and persuasive. 49 00:02:31,463 --> 00:02:33,465 And you have made a strong case. 50 00:02:33,549 --> 00:02:36,886 Yes, well-argued. Better than some of my grad students. 51 00:02:36,969 --> 00:02:38,971 You should get ready for school. I'll take you. 52 00:02:39,054 --> 00:02:40,723 We'll both take you. 53 00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:45,144 - It worked? -Perfectly. 54 00:02:45,227 --> 00:02:46,520 They're happy again, Uzo. 55 00:02:46,604 --> 00:02:48,439 They're even talking about getting me a puppy. 56 00:02:48,522 --> 00:02:51,692 But more importantly, I proved once and for all 57 00:02:51,775 --> 00:02:53,944 that you can always find the answer. 58 00:02:54,028 --> 00:02:58,490 -The answer to what? -To anything. Every problem has an answer. 59 00:02:58,574 --> 00:03:00,868 If you just read enough books and think hard enough, 60 00:03:00,951 --> 00:03:03,203 you can figure out the answer to any question. 61 00:03:03,287 --> 00:03:06,081 I know you're really smart, but that sounds wrong. 62 00:03:06,165 --> 00:03:08,125 Children? Please take your seats. 63 00:03:08,208 --> 00:03:11,921 Here's a perfect example. Where to sit? What's the answer? 64 00:03:12,004 --> 00:03:15,257 Obviously, we want to be back by the pencil sharpener, 65 00:03:15,341 --> 00:03:17,760 but in the front, I can see the blackboard better, 66 00:03:18,427 --> 00:03:21,221 or by the door to get a nice breeze? 67 00:03:21,305 --> 00:03:22,723 -Chidi? - Just hang on. 68 00:03:22,806 --> 00:03:24,433 Sorry. 69 00:03:25,017 --> 00:03:26,518 Oh, no. 70 00:03:33,651 --> 00:03:36,904 I still say Professor Lindeman was a fool to abandon Chidi. 71 00:03:36,987 --> 00:03:39,031 He has a brilliant mind. 72 00:03:39,114 --> 00:03:41,951 One day, he will use it to solve the world's biggest problems. 73 00:03:42,034 --> 00:03:44,036 Is this enough cheese? I hope this is enough cheese. 74 00:03:44,119 --> 00:03:45,955 There's sheep, goat and cow's milk. 75 00:03:46,038 --> 00:03:48,999 -I can run and get more. -No, this is plenty of cheese. 76 00:03:50,084 --> 00:03:53,045 I have to ask, has Chidi always been so thoughtful? 77 00:03:53,128 --> 00:03:54,838 Ever since he was a child. 78 00:03:54,922 --> 00:03:57,383 I'm sure you've heard about his first great lecture? 79 00:03:57,466 --> 00:04:00,803 Oh, no, not that old story again. It's so embarrassing. 80 00:04:00,886 --> 00:04:02,763 -Oh. Go ahead. 81 00:04:02,846 --> 00:04:06,684 A long time ago, Emeka and I were going through a rough patch. 82 00:04:06,767 --> 00:04:11,480 And our little Chidi, at eight years old, comes in with a one-hour lecture. 83 00:04:11,563 --> 00:04:13,816 All about why we should stay married. 84 00:04:13,899 --> 00:04:17,611 And all these years later, here we still are. 85 00:04:17,695 --> 00:04:19,780 -It's the reason I got into philosophy. - Hmm. 86 00:04:19,863 --> 00:04:23,075 The biggest questions and the biggest answers. You just gotta find them. 87 00:04:23,826 --> 00:04:25,661 I mean, I love philosophy, too. 88 00:04:25,744 --> 00:04:26,996 But I'd argue that, say, 89 00:04:27,079 --> 00:04:29,832 theoretical physics presents bigger questions than philosophy. 90 00:04:33,794 --> 00:04:34,753 Do you really think that? 91 00:04:35,504 --> 00:04:36,630 Should I switch to physics? 92 00:04:37,923 --> 00:04:42,303 So, obviously, my parents loved you. 93 00:04:42,386 --> 00:04:44,471 I'm so glad. They're great. 94 00:04:45,097 --> 00:04:45,931 We have to break up. 95 00:04:46,849 --> 00:04:48,434 Uh... 96 00:04:48,517 --> 00:04:49,685 What? Why? 97 00:04:49,768 --> 00:04:51,687 I've been feeling this way for a while now. 98 00:04:51,770 --> 00:04:54,356 It's just... why are we together? 99 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:58,027 Because it makes sense. I mean, you like Kant, I like Kant... 100 00:04:58,110 --> 00:05:02,197 -We're not a book group. -Well, we're not... not a book group. 101 00:05:02,781 --> 00:05:05,993 Okay, if there's a problem with our relationship, 102 00:05:06,076 --> 00:05:08,162 there is an answer that will solve it. 103 00:05:08,245 --> 00:05:09,580 So, let's hit the library. 104 00:05:09,663 --> 00:05:11,790 You wanna use philosophy? How about David Hume? 105 00:05:11,874 --> 00:05:15,753 "Reason is and ought only to be a slave to the passions." 106 00:05:15,836 --> 00:05:19,423 You know, emotions, desires, feelings. 107 00:05:19,506 --> 00:05:22,885 -Do you have any of those? -Of course I have feelings. 108 00:05:22,968 --> 00:05:26,680 I have strong feelings for you and what we have. 109 00:05:27,681 --> 00:05:31,226 And right now, I will show you... 110 00:05:34,980 --> 00:05:38,192 how Kant refuted most of Hume's central theses. 111 00:05:38,275 --> 00:05:39,443 Oh, my God. 112 00:05:50,079 --> 00:05:54,458 - So, what do you think? -I think it's 3,600 pages. 113 00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:57,044 I have a job, Chidi. I have a family. 114 00:05:57,127 --> 00:05:59,713 Until I had to read this, I had a will to live. 115 00:05:59,797 --> 00:06:04,968 This work is an insane, tangled web of inscrutability. 116 00:06:05,052 --> 00:06:09,348 In the fun, "grad students will analyze this for centuries" way? 117 00:06:09,431 --> 00:06:10,849 No, in the Unabomber way. 118 00:06:11,433 --> 00:06:14,311 Okay. Well, um, I'll write my way out of the maze. 119 00:06:14,394 --> 00:06:16,271 I'll re-outline the middle chapters, do more research-- 120 00:06:16,355 --> 00:06:17,189 No, Chidi! 121 00:06:17,940 --> 00:06:21,235 You can't answer every question every philosopher has ever asked. 122 00:06:21,318 --> 00:06:24,696 So, what in these pages do you care about? 123 00:06:24,780 --> 00:06:27,574 -All of it. Equally. -Shut up! 124 00:06:27,658 --> 00:06:30,953 -But-- Should I-- -Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! 125 00:06:32,454 --> 00:06:35,874 The greatest works of moral philosophy are emotional. 126 00:06:35,958 --> 00:06:40,587 They make an argument about how the world is and ought to be. 127 00:06:40,671 --> 00:06:46,468 There is a great mind at work in here, but where is the heart? 128 00:06:46,552 --> 00:06:47,886 Where are the guts? 129 00:06:48,971 --> 00:06:51,181 I understand. I do. 130 00:06:51,265 --> 00:06:56,228 So, I'm going to go home, and compose a short paper for you, 131 00:06:56,311 --> 00:06:59,523 arguing that I should continue working on this longer paper. 132 00:06:59,606 --> 00:07:00,858 Shut up! 133 00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:07,364 Wow. Tough week. Sorry, pal. 134 00:07:08,782 --> 00:07:12,619 Honestly, I don't know what hurts more, my thesis meeting or Allesandra. 135 00:07:12,703 --> 00:07:15,914 She was brilliant, and funny... 136 00:07:15,998 --> 00:07:19,918 I thought that maybe she was the answer. 137 00:07:20,752 --> 00:07:23,172 Some things in life don't have an answer. 138 00:07:23,255 --> 00:07:25,382 Isn't that what Allesandra was saying? 139 00:07:25,466 --> 00:07:28,343 Isn't that what your advisor said, too? 140 00:07:28,427 --> 00:07:30,262 Isn't that what everyone who knows you has said to you 141 00:07:30,345 --> 00:07:31,805 at every waking moment of your life? 142 00:07:31,889 --> 00:07:33,098 Okay, I can figure this out. 143 00:07:33,182 --> 00:07:36,602 I just need to find the answer for how to impress Allesandra, 144 00:07:36,685 --> 00:07:39,062 a separate answer for how to impress my advisor 145 00:07:39,146 --> 00:07:42,441 or, ideally, one answer for how to impress them both. 146 00:07:42,524 --> 00:07:44,526 -Oh, you know what this calls for? -Don't say it. 147 00:07:44,610 --> 00:07:46,862 -A Venn diagram. Yeah. -No Venn diagram. 148 00:07:46,945 --> 00:07:50,866 If you won't listen to other people, do you at least hear what you're saying? 149 00:07:50,949 --> 00:07:53,410 I swear, sometimes it is literally... 150 00:07:53,494 --> 00:07:54,536 ...impossible to be your friend. 151 00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:56,538 You're incapable of making a single decision. 152 00:07:56,622 --> 00:08:00,042 Look, what's the harm in taking a few extra minutes to find the perfect... 153 00:08:06,757 --> 00:08:08,550 Chidi? Come on in. 154 00:08:09,426 --> 00:08:11,470 Unless you'd be more comfortable out here? 155 00:08:11,553 --> 00:08:12,387 Oh. 156 00:08:12,888 --> 00:08:15,599 Well, I feel like you want me to... 157 00:08:15,682 --> 00:08:17,976 I'll tell you what, I'll decide for you. Come on in. 158 00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:18,977 Great. 159 00:08:25,984 --> 00:08:26,818 Watch this. 160 00:08:27,986 --> 00:08:29,863 Your fridge chooses your breakfast for you. 161 00:08:29,947 --> 00:08:32,282 Oatmeal and almond milk. 162 00:08:32,366 --> 00:08:33,951 Extra filmy. You don't even have to decide. 163 00:08:34,034 --> 00:08:35,577 It just knows what you want. 164 00:08:35,661 --> 00:08:37,746 And for all your other requests... 165 00:08:38,705 --> 00:08:39,540 Janet? 166 00:08:39,623 --> 00:08:40,457 -Hi, there. 167 00:08:41,625 --> 00:08:45,546 Janet knows the answers to all the questions in the universe. 168 00:08:45,629 --> 00:08:46,630 Ask her anything. 169 00:08:48,465 --> 00:08:49,383 Which answer do I want? 170 00:08:50,092 --> 00:08:53,845 Something profound, obviously. Shouldn't be trivial or salacious. 171 00:08:53,929 --> 00:08:57,266 Or maybe I should start small, maybe ramp up. 172 00:08:57,349 --> 00:08:59,434 I... or... I can't... 173 00:09:00,769 --> 00:09:02,646 -What's the biggest fish? -The whale shark. 174 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:04,565 Cool. 175 00:09:04,648 --> 00:09:06,942 I'm sorry. I'll have better questions later. 176 00:09:07,025 --> 00:09:11,238 You don't need to apologize, Chidi. All questions are equally important to me. 177 00:09:11,321 --> 00:09:13,115 Oh, well, then, you and I are gonna get along great. 178 00:09:15,284 --> 00:09:17,494 I need to go welcome some more residents. 179 00:09:17,578 --> 00:09:20,872 Are there any other questions I can answer for you before I go? 180 00:09:20,956 --> 00:09:25,711 Well, yes. Is there a relationship equivalent to the oatmeal? 181 00:09:25,794 --> 00:09:26,628 Uh... 182 00:09:26,712 --> 00:09:29,256 -Is there a, sort of... -Soulmate? 183 00:09:30,382 --> 00:09:31,216 Yes. 184 00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:35,721 Every person in the Good Place has one perfect match. 185 00:09:35,804 --> 00:09:39,182 In an hour, come on by the little house that looks like a face, 186 00:09:39,266 --> 00:09:42,311 and get the answer to your ultimate question. 187 00:09:42,936 --> 00:09:44,229 Her name's Eleanor. 188 00:09:53,655 --> 00:09:56,658 Oh, man. Remember this? 189 00:09:56,742 --> 00:09:59,077 Yeah! Yeah, that was eight minutes ago. 190 00:09:59,161 --> 00:10:00,078 Mmm-hmm. 191 00:10:00,162 --> 00:10:02,247 So, you just proposed to Janet, 192 00:10:02,331 --> 00:10:04,833 -and you said yes, and now you're married. - Mmm-hmm. 193 00:10:04,916 --> 00:10:05,751 Mmm-hmm. 194 00:10:05,834 --> 00:10:09,755 You know, I thought saying that out loud would make it less insane, but it did not. 195 00:10:09,838 --> 00:10:10,922 Thanks, homie. 196 00:10:11,006 --> 00:10:14,468 If you'd like to get us a present, we're registered at me. 197 00:10:15,469 --> 00:10:18,180 Jason, I think I need your help. Can I ask you something? 198 00:10:18,263 --> 00:10:20,432 Whoa. No one's ever asked me for advice before. 199 00:10:20,515 --> 00:10:21,808 And you're a high school principal. 200 00:10:21,892 --> 00:10:23,143 College professor. 201 00:10:23,226 --> 00:10:25,228 Who told you how to do this? 202 00:10:25,312 --> 00:10:28,315 How can you just make a decision this big? 203 00:10:28,940 --> 00:10:31,818 Chidi, here's the thing with stuff. 204 00:10:31,902 --> 00:10:35,364 You can look at a problem from every angle and drive yourself crazy, 205 00:10:35,447 --> 00:10:38,825 but sometimes you just gotta huck a Molotov cocktail at a drone 206 00:10:38,909 --> 00:10:40,619 and see what happens. 207 00:10:40,702 --> 00:10:42,412 Is what happens that the drone blows up? 208 00:10:42,496 --> 00:10:43,413 Usually. 209 00:10:43,497 --> 00:10:45,916 I mean, where I'm from, most things blow up eventually. 210 00:10:45,999 --> 00:10:49,836 So I learned that when something dope comes along, you gotta lock it down. 211 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,505 If you're always frozen in fear, 212 00:10:51,588 --> 00:10:53,840 and taking too long to think about what to do, 213 00:10:53,924 --> 00:10:55,092 you'll miss your opportunity, 214 00:10:55,175 --> 00:10:57,594 and maybe get sucked into the propeller of a swamp boat. 215 00:10:58,178 --> 00:11:02,474 I just don't think I'll ever be the kind of person who just... acts. 216 00:11:02,557 --> 00:11:06,520 I mean, I can't just open a door and walk through 217 00:11:06,603 --> 00:11:08,605 without knowing what's on the other side. 218 00:11:09,398 --> 00:11:13,235 Even with eternity to try, I just don't think that can happen. 219 00:11:13,318 --> 00:11:15,779 Well, I never thought I'd ever be able to get married. 220 00:11:15,862 --> 00:11:17,072 I thought I was too old. 221 00:11:17,656 --> 00:11:22,285 I'm infinity, but strange things happen in the afterlife. 222 00:11:26,957 --> 00:11:29,167 We figured it out once. We can do it again. 223 00:11:29,251 --> 00:11:30,961 Because you know what, Michael? 224 00:11:31,044 --> 00:11:32,212 -Ya basic-- 225 00:11:33,004 --> 00:11:35,340 This is your soulmate, Salamasina. 226 00:11:35,424 --> 00:11:37,175 Meet your soulmate, Guan-yin. 227 00:11:37,259 --> 00:11:38,635 Tahani. Karen. 228 00:11:38,718 --> 00:11:42,097 Esmerelda, you don't bring knives to a friendly game night. 229 00:11:42,180 --> 00:11:43,014 I mean, who does that? 230 00:11:43,598 --> 00:11:44,474 The prepared. 231 00:11:45,142 --> 00:11:47,936 Chidi, Esmerelda, it's your turn! 232 00:11:51,398 --> 00:11:53,483 Blood. Seas of blood. 233 00:11:53,567 --> 00:11:54,860 Enemies. 234 00:11:54,943 --> 00:11:55,902 Uh... 235 00:11:55,986 --> 00:11:57,154 A thousand years of darkness. 236 00:11:57,237 --> 00:12:00,365 -Uh... Nightmares. -Blood. Ennui? 237 00:12:01,158 --> 00:12:04,703 Lamenting the inexorable passage of time. Fire and blood. 238 00:12:04,786 --> 00:12:07,539 -Ugh! You fool. 239 00:12:07,622 --> 00:12:08,748 It was "birthday parties." 240 00:12:08,832 --> 00:12:10,333 "Birthday parties"? 241 00:12:10,417 --> 00:12:14,129 These trivialities demean me. I must away and tend to my ravens. 242 00:12:16,381 --> 00:12:19,468 Well, you never know what'll happen at game night. 243 00:12:19,551 --> 00:12:21,094 Let's continue. 244 00:12:21,887 --> 00:12:23,972 I think I can find you another partner. 245 00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:29,853 Tahani, thank you so much. 246 00:12:29,936 --> 00:12:33,106 That ended up being one of the best nights I've had since we got here. 247 00:12:33,190 --> 00:12:34,357 You and Eleanor made a good pair. 248 00:12:34,441 --> 00:12:36,735 You two really tore through that round of charades. 249 00:12:36,818 --> 00:12:40,363 Oh, I'm pretty sure she was reading the cards off the reflection in my glasses, 250 00:12:40,447 --> 00:12:42,741 but, yeah, that was amazing. 251 00:12:43,909 --> 00:12:44,743 Um... 252 00:12:46,203 --> 00:12:48,079 -Can I ask you something? -Hmm. 253 00:12:48,163 --> 00:12:49,372 Tonight could've been a real disaster. 254 00:12:49,456 --> 00:12:52,417 How do you have the confidence to just swoop in 255 00:12:52,501 --> 00:12:56,838 and so elegantly take charge of a whole group of strangers? 256 00:12:56,922 --> 00:13:00,467 Honestly, the confidence comes from failure. 257 00:13:00,550 --> 00:13:04,346 I've thrown my fair share of disastrous gatherings. 258 00:13:04,429 --> 00:13:07,432 Remind me to tell you someday about Timothée Chalamet's bar mitzvah. 259 00:13:08,016 --> 00:13:11,311 But you live through the failure and you learn from it. 260 00:13:12,103 --> 00:13:13,980 Yeah, I just can't operate that way. 261 00:13:14,064 --> 00:13:17,609 I can't make a decision unless I'm sure I'm right. 262 00:13:17,692 --> 00:13:20,445 Hey, Chidi. You're a philosophy professor, right? 263 00:13:20,529 --> 00:13:23,782 Any chance you'd want to grab a drink and talk about ethics? 264 00:13:23,865 --> 00:13:27,619 It's a subject I've recently needed to learn about, immediately. 265 00:13:27,702 --> 00:13:30,372 -Sounds great. Uh, let me get my coat. - Awesome. 266 00:13:30,455 --> 00:13:34,626 By the way, I wasn't cheating before... or eavesdropping just now. 267 00:13:36,670 --> 00:13:37,546 Whoo! 268 00:13:37,629 --> 00:13:39,297 When we started three months ago, 269 00:13:39,381 --> 00:13:43,218 I never thought I'd get so into philosophy that we'd study past midnight. 270 00:13:44,219 --> 00:13:47,013 Esmerelda must be wondering where her soulmate is. 271 00:13:47,097 --> 00:13:48,932 -Ah. She's off in her aviary. -Oh. 272 00:13:49,015 --> 00:13:51,059 Sometimes, I think her ravens are her real soulmate. 273 00:13:52,227 --> 00:13:53,770 I'm not kidding, actually. 274 00:13:53,853 --> 00:13:55,480 You should see her with them. It's intense. 275 00:13:55,564 --> 00:13:57,607 And if I'm being honest, sexually charged. 276 00:13:58,191 --> 00:14:01,820 Anyways. Um... This has been fun as always-- 277 00:14:04,239 --> 00:14:05,240 Uh... 278 00:14:06,074 --> 00:14:08,743 What was... Why did you... 279 00:14:09,369 --> 00:14:10,203 Who was it? 280 00:14:11,454 --> 00:14:14,874 Okay, I'll take those one at a time, I guess. Um... 281 00:14:15,834 --> 00:14:16,793 It was a kiss. 282 00:14:17,961 --> 00:14:20,130 I did it because I wanted to. 283 00:14:20,213 --> 00:14:23,466 And as far as who it was, it was me, weirdo. 284 00:14:24,050 --> 00:14:26,261 Eleanor, I have a soulmate. 285 00:14:26,344 --> 00:14:29,139 Yeah, and you're not into her at all. 286 00:14:29,222 --> 00:14:33,643 I mean, come on. There is no way you're supposed to spend eternity 287 00:14:33,727 --> 00:14:35,770 with a woman who sleeps in a giant nest. 288 00:14:35,854 --> 00:14:39,316 I know she and I are in a rough patch, 289 00:14:39,399 --> 00:14:42,068 but we just have to find the answer for how to get out of it. 290 00:14:42,152 --> 00:14:43,111 Like my parents. 291 00:14:43,194 --> 00:14:44,696 You remember that story I told you about my parents? 292 00:14:44,779 --> 00:14:47,949 Yeah, I don't think that story is as cute as you think it is, man. 293 00:14:48,658 --> 00:14:55,040 I mean, I'm sure you were cute, you know, big melon head and a little necktie. 294 00:14:55,123 --> 00:14:59,252 But that moment? Woof, that's too much to put on an eight-year-old. 295 00:15:00,003 --> 00:15:03,089 I kinda wish cute little Chidi just got to be a kid, 296 00:15:03,590 --> 00:15:06,968 rather than a miniature professor trying to solve all the world's problems. 297 00:15:07,052 --> 00:15:11,723 Well, but... living that way led me to philosophy. 298 00:15:11,806 --> 00:15:14,935 And, sure, I was written up in a medical journal 299 00:15:15,018 --> 00:15:17,437 as the youngest person ever with a stress-induced ulcer, 300 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:19,272 but I got into the Good Place. 301 00:15:19,356 --> 00:15:20,815 So, if you don't mind, 302 00:15:20,899 --> 00:15:26,154 I'm gonna take a second to think about what I owe my universe-approved soulmate, 303 00:15:26,237 --> 00:15:30,283 and not just, uh, make out with you. 304 00:15:30,951 --> 00:15:33,620 Okay, man. Kiss rescinded. 305 00:15:33,703 --> 00:15:39,084 We'll just study, like two platonic nerds, until Michael discovers me, 306 00:15:39,167 --> 00:15:42,837 or until Esmerelda turns me into a toad with her magic amulet, 307 00:15:42,921 --> 00:15:46,675 because she can see that we're obviously into each other. 308 00:15:47,425 --> 00:15:51,763 Oh. Sorry you got an actual human being instead of your true soulmate... 309 00:15:51,846 --> 00:15:54,516 -a library cart full of damp saltines. 310 00:15:54,599 --> 00:15:55,934 You are unbelievable. 311 00:15:56,017 --> 00:15:58,186 I don't know what I did... 312 00:15:58,269 --> 00:15:59,854 -...to deserve you. 313 00:15:59,938 --> 00:16:02,899 Believe it, baby. I'm all yours. 314 00:16:02,983 --> 00:16:05,151 At least until something better comes along. 315 00:16:05,777 --> 00:16:08,655 For me. You've pretty much topped out. 316 00:16:09,364 --> 00:16:10,615 - You okay? -No! 317 00:16:10,699 --> 00:16:13,868 I have to give Michael a new draft of my thesis and I'm a mess. 318 00:16:13,952 --> 00:16:14,911 Will you help me? 319 00:16:14,995 --> 00:16:19,165 Woof! You want my help with philosophy? You must be in rough shape. 320 00:16:19,249 --> 00:16:21,042 -I mean, yes, of course. 321 00:16:21,126 --> 00:16:23,169 I'm here for you. What do you need? 322 00:16:23,253 --> 00:16:27,716 I need someone to help guide me, morally speaking. 323 00:16:27,799 --> 00:16:31,136 And I think I need it to be you. 324 00:16:32,137 --> 00:16:35,015 There's a real possibility that I'm in love with you again, 325 00:16:35,682 --> 00:16:39,936 here, on this plane of existence, uh, today, now. 326 00:16:42,856 --> 00:16:45,358 We found each other before, hundreds of times. 327 00:16:45,984 --> 00:16:47,193 We can do it again. 328 00:16:52,949 --> 00:16:54,367 Bye, Chidi. 329 00:16:57,579 --> 00:16:58,913 You sure you want to do this? 330 00:16:58,997 --> 00:17:01,249 I finally make up my mind about one damn thing 331 00:17:01,332 --> 00:17:02,417 and you try to talk me out of it? 332 00:17:04,669 --> 00:17:05,670 I'm sure. 333 00:17:07,505 --> 00:17:08,673 Can I ask you a question? 334 00:17:10,133 --> 00:17:14,220 Soulmates aren't real, are they? 335 00:17:14,971 --> 00:17:18,224 Chidi, in all honesty, I don't know. But I don't think so. 336 00:17:19,350 --> 00:17:23,480 I knew what you expected to find when you got here: answers. 337 00:17:24,689 --> 00:17:28,068 Also, if I recall from your file, a magic blackboard? 338 00:17:28,151 --> 00:17:30,987 One that anticipates your lesson flow. That is the dream. 339 00:17:32,113 --> 00:17:33,782 But mostly you wanted answers. 340 00:17:35,158 --> 00:17:37,535 The "soulmate" one in particular. 341 00:17:37,619 --> 00:17:41,164 So, I used it to torture you. 342 00:17:41,247 --> 00:17:43,666 Which, again, sorry. 343 00:17:44,918 --> 00:17:50,298 If soulmates do exist, they're not found, they're made. 344 00:17:50,381 --> 00:17:53,218 People meet, they get a good feeling 345 00:17:53,301 --> 00:17:56,012 and then they get to work, building a relationship. 346 00:17:56,679 --> 00:17:57,764 Like your parents. 347 00:17:58,807 --> 00:18:03,103 They didn't magically stay together because you proved they should. 348 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:08,650 It wasn't my logic or my presentation. 349 00:18:08,733 --> 00:18:12,779 It was the feeling they got watching me, 350 00:18:12,862 --> 00:18:17,867 this scared little kid, telling them that he needed them. 351 00:18:17,951 --> 00:18:19,828 And it was also what you made them remember. 352 00:18:19,911 --> 00:18:21,246 They loved each other. 353 00:18:21,329 --> 00:18:23,289 Sometimes, people forget. 354 00:18:23,373 --> 00:18:25,875 You reminded them of what they already had. 355 00:18:25,959 --> 00:18:28,253 It convinced them to go to counseling. 356 00:18:28,837 --> 00:18:29,963 I never knew they went to counseling. 357 00:18:30,046 --> 00:18:31,506 Yeah, kids are idiots. 358 00:18:31,589 --> 00:18:35,009 If they knew half the stuff their folks were up to, they'd lose their minds. 359 00:18:36,719 --> 00:18:43,393 Turns out, life isn't a puzzle that can just be solved one time and it's done. 360 00:18:44,102 --> 00:18:48,439 You wake up every day and you solve it again. 361 00:18:49,232 --> 00:18:50,650 Terribly inefficient. 362 00:18:54,195 --> 00:18:56,114 Ah, what a time to learn. 363 00:19:00,076 --> 00:19:01,119 Can you give me a second? 364 00:19:12,755 --> 00:19:14,424 -Janet? -Hi, there. 365 00:19:14,507 --> 00:19:15,383 Hi. 366 00:19:16,509 --> 00:19:18,803 Uh, can I have a pen and some paper? 367 00:19:25,059 --> 00:19:30,481 I don't know if I'll see you again, or what I'll remember if I do, 368 00:19:30,565 --> 00:19:36,070 but if we do cross paths again, sometime, somewhere... 369 00:19:38,573 --> 00:19:39,824 can you get this back to me? 370 00:19:40,408 --> 00:19:41,242 Of course. 371 00:19:51,252 --> 00:19:52,170 I'm ready. 372 00:20:01,846 --> 00:20:03,014 Hi, there, Chidi. 373 00:20:05,266 --> 00:20:06,351 Welcome back. 374 00:20:06,935 --> 00:20:09,229 Is he all right? Did you break him? 375 00:20:09,812 --> 00:20:12,315 Hey, buddy. How you doing? 376 00:20:13,650 --> 00:20:15,735 Man, I'm doin' great. 377 00:20:16,486 --> 00:20:22,158 Hey, so, for the past 300 years, have I been super annoying? 378 00:20:22,867 --> 00:20:23,701 Oh, no... 379 00:20:23,785 --> 00:20:25,912 - No, I wouldn't say... No, no. - Well, not extremely... 380 00:20:25,995 --> 00:20:27,455 - Yes. - Well, thank you, 381 00:20:27,538 --> 00:20:30,250 all of you, for everything you've done for me. 382 00:20:30,333 --> 00:20:32,043 You are wonderful people. 383 00:20:32,126 --> 00:20:36,130 Yeah, man, that's great, but, um, listen, we have one hour to create 384 00:20:36,214 --> 00:20:39,801 an entirely new afterlife and, uh, also save all of humanity, 385 00:20:39,884 --> 00:20:45,181 and we were wondering if you could do your Chidi thing and find us the answer? 386 00:20:45,890 --> 00:20:49,435 Oh, well, Eleanor, this kind of thing doesn't have just one answer. 387 00:20:49,519 --> 00:20:51,562 There might be 800. 388 00:20:51,646 --> 00:20:53,773 There could be zero. Who knows? 389 00:20:53,856 --> 00:20:56,442 The journey is the destination, right? 390 00:20:56,526 --> 00:20:58,194 Let's get to work. Can you give me one second? 391 00:20:59,445 --> 00:21:02,282 Hey, uh, Janet? Can I have my note, please? 392 00:21:03,366 --> 00:21:06,661 If you know that you wrote a note then you know what it says. 393 00:21:06,744 --> 00:21:11,708 I do, uh, but I'd still like to see it again, please. 394 00:21:11,791 --> 00:21:14,127 I think it might be some of the best writing I've ever done.