1 00:00:09,613 --> 00:00:12,867 As you reach the end of your first year in the afterlife... 2 00:00:12,950 --> 00:00:14,702 what do you remember most? 3 00:00:14,785 --> 00:00:16,912 The everlasting friendships you made? 4 00:00:16,996 --> 00:00:19,790 The adversity you overcame together? 5 00:00:19,874 --> 00:00:22,084 The day everything was chocolate? 6 00:00:22,168 --> 00:00:23,711 That day was awesome. 7 00:00:23,794 --> 00:00:27,256 I had a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. It was all chocolate. 8 00:00:27,339 --> 00:00:28,174 [shushing] 9 00:00:28,257 --> 00:00:30,676 [Eleanor] You only have a few hours left in your first year, 10 00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:34,221 so why not do as many amazing good deeds for other people 11 00:00:34,305 --> 00:00:37,433 as you possibly can by midnight? Just in case. 12 00:00:37,516 --> 00:00:38,768 [sighs] 13 00:00:38,851 --> 00:00:40,686 I know. I know. I'll take it out. 14 00:00:40,770 --> 00:00:42,688 I'm a little tired, okay? Lay off. 15 00:00:42,772 --> 00:00:46,984 That movie, minus the part where Eleanor gives away the entire experiment, 16 00:00:47,067 --> 00:00:49,028 will play before the party tonight. 17 00:00:49,111 --> 00:00:52,573 Speaking of which, the theme is One Year Down, Infinity to Go. 18 00:00:52,656 --> 00:00:54,658 Dress is London black tie. 19 00:00:54,742 --> 00:00:58,120 That means Knightsbridge black tie, not Kensington. 20 00:00:58,204 --> 00:01:01,999 Or heaven forbid West Brompton. [laughing] 21 00:01:02,083 --> 00:01:04,126 Can you imagine? [laughing] 22 00:01:04,210 --> 00:01:05,294 [chuckling] No. 23 00:01:05,377 --> 00:01:08,631 Also, just after midnight, in order to reset my processing power, 24 00:01:08,714 --> 00:01:12,093 I will be violently eating my Janet babies. 25 00:01:12,176 --> 00:01:13,969 I'd advise no one look directly at me. 26 00:01:14,053 --> 00:01:18,307 Copy that. So, tonight at the party, we're going for one more point grab. 27 00:01:18,390 --> 00:01:20,684 I'm gonna suggest they make toasts about each other, 28 00:01:20,768 --> 00:01:24,063 celebrate their ups and downs, demonstrate personal growth, 29 00:01:24,146 --> 00:01:26,732 blah, blah, blah, humanity is saved! 30 00:01:26,816 --> 00:01:28,067 [all chuckling] 31 00:01:28,150 --> 00:01:30,986 One more day, guys. Let's finish strong. 32 00:01:31,070 --> 00:01:35,574 And to that end, as you might know, I've been practicing human magic. 33 00:01:35,658 --> 00:01:36,534 Oh! 34 00:01:38,077 --> 00:01:39,703 -Ta-da! -[Jason] Dope. 35 00:01:39,787 --> 00:01:41,622 [Michael chuckling] So, I was thinking-- 36 00:01:41,705 --> 00:01:44,750 No, the Magnificent Dr. Presto is not performing tonight. 37 00:01:44,834 --> 00:01:47,086 -Come on, I-- -Dude, magic is always lame, 38 00:01:47,169 --> 00:01:50,756 but it's especially lame here, where there's actual magic. 39 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,968 As a counter argument... check your pocket. 40 00:01:56,595 --> 00:01:57,972 The other one. 41 00:01:59,265 --> 00:02:02,393 Oh, shoot, sorry. [chuckles lightly] It's my pocket. 42 00:02:03,435 --> 00:02:05,521 -Ta-da! -Dope. 43 00:02:05,604 --> 00:02:07,189 You know what? You can perform. 44 00:02:07,273 --> 00:02:09,441 -Really? -Yeah, you changed my mind 45 00:02:09,525 --> 00:02:10,901 with that pocket thing. 46 00:02:10,985 --> 00:02:12,153 Oh, boffo! [chuckles lightly] 47 00:02:13,070 --> 00:02:14,238 Oh. 48 00:02:14,321 --> 00:02:15,781 -You're being mean. -Yep. 49 00:02:22,621 --> 00:02:24,832 I am very excited for tonight. 50 00:02:24,915 --> 00:02:27,585 And dare I say, you all look so splendid, 51 00:02:27,668 --> 00:02:30,713 you could work the coat check at the Met Gala. 52 00:02:30,796 --> 00:02:33,632 Oh, speaking of the Met Gala, remember that security cam footage 53 00:02:33,716 --> 00:02:35,968 of Solange and Jay-Z fighting in the elevator? 54 00:02:36,051 --> 00:02:38,554 I learned to read lips. Turns out she was yelling, 55 00:02:38,637 --> 00:02:41,265 "No fair! I wanted to be the one to push the button." 56 00:02:41,348 --> 00:02:42,808 [chuckles] 57 00:02:42,892 --> 00:02:46,562 So, uh, yeah, it wasn't as juicy as some people maybe thought it was. 58 00:02:46,645 --> 00:02:49,231 -[door opens] -Hey, gang. Had a pretty good round today. 59 00:02:49,315 --> 00:02:52,276 Better close this door. I don't want all those birdies to follow me in here. 60 00:02:52,359 --> 00:02:54,737 -[chuckles] -[groans] Why? 61 00:02:54,820 --> 00:02:56,739 Okay, Brent, hurry up and change so we can get to the party. 62 00:02:56,822 --> 00:02:57,740 Oh, right, hang on. 63 00:02:57,823 --> 00:03:00,117 Uh, Janet gave me this... 64 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,327 Tuxedo in a can. 65 00:03:02,411 --> 00:03:04,246 -[Tahani] Oh! -[Chidi] Ooh. 66 00:03:04,330 --> 00:03:07,708 I came this close to firing Janet, but she's gotten a lot better. 67 00:03:07,791 --> 00:03:10,377 Okay. We're not leaving yet. I need to show you all something. 68 00:03:11,253 --> 00:03:14,381 This is the result of months of observation. 69 00:03:15,174 --> 00:03:17,092 Now, I know you're gonna think I'm crazy... 70 00:03:17,176 --> 00:03:18,969 No, why would we think that? 71 00:03:19,053 --> 00:03:21,221 But there is something wrong with this neighborhood. 72 00:03:22,014 --> 00:03:24,058 And it involves the people in this room. 73 00:03:25,684 --> 00:03:28,145 [Eleanor] So crazy that we're at the end of this thing 74 00:03:28,228 --> 00:03:29,939 and we have no idea how we did. 75 00:03:30,522 --> 00:03:34,568 Janet, any chance you could get a look inside that obelisk? 76 00:03:34,652 --> 00:03:36,070 Check that magic scoreboard? 77 00:03:36,153 --> 00:03:37,821 There is a chance, yes. 78 00:03:37,905 --> 00:03:40,574 About one in 970 trillion. 79 00:03:40,658 --> 00:03:41,992 Let's give her a whirl. 80 00:03:42,785 --> 00:03:45,079 It did not work. 81 00:03:45,162 --> 00:03:46,121 I'll be right back. 82 00:03:46,205 --> 00:03:47,331 Ugh! 83 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:53,295 I feel okay about most of it, but I just wish we had one concrete sign 84 00:03:53,379 --> 00:03:54,588 that Brent has improved. 85 00:03:54,672 --> 00:03:56,674 One moment where he bumps into someone 86 00:03:56,757 --> 00:03:59,218 and sincerely says, "Oops, my bad," you know? 87 00:03:59,301 --> 00:04:00,761 I would kill for an "Oops, my bad." 88 00:04:00,844 --> 00:04:02,972 Who's a girl gotta fork to get an "Oops, my bad"? 89 00:04:03,055 --> 00:04:06,475 Hey, hey, hey, panicking about this experiment at crucial moments 90 00:04:06,558 --> 00:04:07,977 is kinda my move. 91 00:04:08,060 --> 00:04:09,728 -Don't fall apart on me now. -I won't. 92 00:04:09,812 --> 00:04:12,231 It's just... You know me. 93 00:04:12,314 --> 00:04:15,025 On Earth, I never played a game unless I knew I could either win, 94 00:04:15,109 --> 00:04:17,361 or bribe the ref so he'd throw it for me, 95 00:04:17,444 --> 00:04:22,074 and if we lose, I'm gonna be so mad. [groans] 96 00:04:22,157 --> 00:04:23,242 Just one more day. 97 00:04:23,325 --> 00:04:26,287 We're gonna stick to the plan, not do anything radical. 98 00:04:26,370 --> 00:04:31,542 Though we could do something... magical. 99 00:04:31,625 --> 00:04:32,918 You gotta let it go, man. 100 00:04:33,002 --> 00:04:34,253 She's right. 101 00:04:35,504 --> 00:04:38,173 [Simone] I've been suspicious about this place since day one. 102 00:04:38,257 --> 00:04:40,175 Over the last few months, I've been collecting data, 103 00:04:40,259 --> 00:04:41,343 and now I am positive. 104 00:04:41,427 --> 00:04:43,137 Something is truly forked up. 105 00:04:43,220 --> 00:04:44,972 You didn't tell me about any of this, muffin! 106 00:04:45,055 --> 00:04:46,432 Okay, you call her "muffin?" 107 00:04:46,932 --> 00:04:49,101 I'm getting a lot of breaking news at once here. 108 00:04:49,184 --> 00:04:50,144 I was gathering evidence. 109 00:04:50,227 --> 00:04:52,813 I didn't want to compromise the integrity of the data collection. 110 00:04:52,896 --> 00:04:54,356 Oh, so romantic. 111 00:04:55,691 --> 00:04:56,859 Here's what I know... 112 00:04:56,942 --> 00:05:00,237 Eleanor and Michael are up to something, and it's focused on us. 113 00:05:00,321 --> 00:05:04,658 I mean, there are 300 people in the neighborhood, and somehow, 114 00:05:04,742 --> 00:05:07,578 they just spend all their time talking to the six people in this room. 115 00:05:07,661 --> 00:05:09,913 Well, I mean, who else are they gonna talk to? [chuckles lightly] 116 00:05:09,997 --> 00:05:11,040 Dumb Shorts Cathy? 117 00:05:11,123 --> 00:05:13,292 -[chuckles] -What is your problem with her? 118 00:05:13,375 --> 00:05:17,046 -I mean... shorts? "Cathy"? -[Brent chuckles] 119 00:05:17,129 --> 00:05:18,589 What isn't my problem with her? 120 00:05:19,381 --> 00:05:21,175 Jianyu, you okay? You look sweaty. 121 00:05:21,258 --> 00:05:23,010 Oh, no, he's fine. 122 00:05:23,093 --> 00:05:25,679 He always sweats when he's meditating. 123 00:05:25,763 --> 00:05:27,514 He calls it "sweat-itating." 124 00:05:28,098 --> 00:05:32,728 No, I mean, um, he doesn't talk, so I call it that. [chuckles nervously] 125 00:05:32,811 --> 00:05:34,188 I'm friends with Sting. 126 00:05:34,271 --> 00:05:35,731 I can't take it anymore. 127 00:05:35,814 --> 00:05:39,276 I know something and it's just graduated from hot goss to relevant AF. 128 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,236 Yes, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. 129 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:46,575 That's not Jianyu. His name is Jason, and he's here by mistake. 130 00:05:46,658 --> 00:05:49,411 Chidi's been helping him hide and become a better person. 131 00:05:49,912 --> 00:05:50,746 [exhales sharply] 132 00:05:50,829 --> 00:05:53,957 I also knew about this, of course. 133 00:05:54,792 --> 00:05:56,085 Might as well come clean, darling. 134 00:05:58,337 --> 00:06:01,590 Hi, Simone. Jason Mendoza, Jacksonville, Florida. 135 00:06:01,673 --> 00:06:03,258 Go, Jags, obviously. 136 00:06:03,342 --> 00:06:04,968 Um, what else about me... 137 00:06:05,052 --> 00:06:06,136 I was born in a swimming pool... 138 00:06:06,220 --> 00:06:08,680 Okay. You never told me about this, Ducky! 139 00:06:08,764 --> 00:06:12,392 "Ducky?" I'm gonna have to sit down. This is too much. 140 00:06:12,476 --> 00:06:14,686 Well, I swore I wouldn't tell, 141 00:06:14,770 --> 00:06:17,898 and keeping your word is a central tenet of deontological ethics. 142 00:06:17,981 --> 00:06:19,650 Oh, so romantic. 143 00:06:19,733 --> 00:06:24,988 Okay, let's assume certain things are odd about this place. What is your theory? 144 00:06:25,072 --> 00:06:25,906 I don't know. 145 00:06:26,782 --> 00:06:28,200 Maybe this isn't the Good Place. 146 00:06:28,283 --> 00:06:29,493 Maybe it's a test. 147 00:06:29,576 --> 00:06:32,621 My best guess, it's some kind of experiment. 148 00:06:32,704 --> 00:06:34,581 We're being observed in a closed environment. 149 00:06:35,457 --> 00:06:38,001 Simone, look at this logically. 150 00:06:38,085 --> 00:06:40,087 We are in paradise. 151 00:06:40,170 --> 00:06:43,340 There's fresh air, mountains, Janet! 152 00:06:43,423 --> 00:06:46,051 And yes, some of us are under 5'10", 153 00:06:46,135 --> 00:06:49,388 but other than that, it is literally perfect here. 154 00:06:49,471 --> 00:06:50,514 [Simone] No, it is not. 155 00:06:50,597 --> 00:06:51,849 Jason is proof. 156 00:06:51,932 --> 00:06:54,768 And if you need more evidence that this isn't the Good Place, 157 00:06:54,852 --> 00:06:57,187 clearly, he's not the only one who doesn't belong. 158 00:06:58,522 --> 00:07:01,358 Actually, she's right. And I know it for a fact. 159 00:07:01,942 --> 00:07:04,528 For the first time ever, I am desperate for you to keep talking. 160 00:07:04,611 --> 00:07:06,905 Well, right at the beginning, I talked to Mike and Eleanor, 161 00:07:06,989 --> 00:07:08,824 and they were like, "Yeah, don't tell anyone this, 162 00:07:08,907 --> 00:07:12,786 but there's a place better than this, the Best Place, 163 00:07:12,870 --> 00:07:14,538 and that's where you're headed, amigo." 164 00:07:14,621 --> 00:07:15,873 I don't think they actually called you "amigo." 165 00:07:15,956 --> 00:07:18,125 I had to go through the year here, kind of a test I guess, 166 00:07:18,208 --> 00:07:19,251 which, obviously, I aced. 167 00:07:19,334 --> 00:07:22,171 So, at midnight I'm on the first Escalade out of here, baby. 168 00:07:22,254 --> 00:07:23,172 -Brent? -Yeah? 169 00:07:23,255 --> 00:07:24,423 -Think about this. -Okay. 170 00:07:24,506 --> 00:07:27,426 How could you get into the Best Place? 171 00:07:27,509 --> 00:07:32,890 You would literally have to be one of the most incredible people in the universe. 172 00:07:35,309 --> 00:07:37,853 It makes sense to me. I don't know what to tell you. [scoffs] 173 00:07:37,936 --> 00:07:40,439 Okay, in the words of Princess Kate 174 00:07:40,522 --> 00:07:42,483 after we came back from our shopping trip in Ibiza, 175 00:07:42,566 --> 00:07:44,026 "There's a lot to unpack here." 176 00:07:44,109 --> 00:07:47,988 Perhaps we should just put our concerns aside and enjoy ourselves. 177 00:07:48,071 --> 00:07:49,281 No way. 178 00:07:49,364 --> 00:07:52,242 We have to figure out exactly what is going on here. 179 00:07:52,326 --> 00:07:55,746 Okay, just go to the party, but keep your eyes open. 180 00:07:55,829 --> 00:07:57,498 -I've got a special mission for us. -Oh, I-- 181 00:07:57,581 --> 00:08:00,667 Oh, good. Muffin and Ducky are on the case. 182 00:08:02,961 --> 00:08:03,962 [indistinct chatter] 183 00:08:06,798 --> 00:08:08,634 -How's it going? -Awesome. 184 00:08:08,717 --> 00:08:11,178 -No, it isn't. -Oh, yeah, terrible. 185 00:08:11,261 --> 00:08:14,097 [sighs] Simone knows the neighborhood isn't what it appears to be. 186 00:08:14,181 --> 00:08:15,933 She's been collecting evidence for months. 187 00:08:16,016 --> 00:08:19,686 So, all that hanging out with Brent, and participating in group activities... 188 00:08:19,770 --> 00:08:21,104 Was under false pretenses. 189 00:08:21,188 --> 00:08:23,774 She was observing him. She's been observing everything. 190 00:08:23,857 --> 00:08:25,859 -Guys, pick a card. -[Eleanor gasps] 191 00:08:25,943 --> 00:08:27,528 -Yes. -No time. 192 00:08:27,611 --> 00:08:28,820 The subjects are onto us. 193 00:08:28,904 --> 00:08:32,741 They know something weird is going on, and it could derail the entire experiment. 194 00:08:32,824 --> 00:08:35,077 Oh, no. 195 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:37,663 Oh, sorry, uh, that was unintentional. 196 00:08:40,123 --> 00:08:40,958 [Chidi] What? 197 00:08:42,084 --> 00:08:44,628 [Simone] There's nothing here. Did you find anything? 198 00:08:44,711 --> 00:08:47,297 Just some song lyrics Michael wrote. 199 00:08:47,381 --> 00:08:50,842 "Here's a trippy little ditty, 'bout a train to Groovy City. 200 00:08:50,926 --> 00:08:55,430 Open up your freaky crystal mind, and we'll have a cosmic good time." 201 00:08:55,514 --> 00:08:57,432 That makes me think we're in hell. 202 00:08:57,516 --> 00:09:00,394 Look, we tried to prove your theory, but it feels like we came up empty. 203 00:09:00,477 --> 00:09:04,439 Chidi, there is so much evidence they've been lying. How can you not see that? 204 00:09:04,523 --> 00:09:06,358 Eleanor told me that this was her first neighborhood. 205 00:09:06,441 --> 00:09:08,902 Maybe some of these are just honest mistakes. 206 00:09:09,820 --> 00:09:15,993 And, also, she told me some other stuff that I really want to be true. 207 00:09:16,994 --> 00:09:18,495 What kind of stuff? 208 00:09:18,579 --> 00:09:22,374 Well, it was something about us. 209 00:09:25,586 --> 00:09:28,338 Why does everything I do fall apart so close to the end? 210 00:09:28,422 --> 00:09:30,799 My first experiment, now this experiment. 211 00:09:30,882 --> 00:09:34,970 I only got halfway through writing "The Purple Train to Groovy City." 212 00:09:35,053 --> 00:09:37,472 -I just ran out of creative juice. -[Eleanor] Focus. 213 00:09:37,556 --> 00:09:40,267 We cannot let this slip away from us at the last second. 214 00:09:40,350 --> 00:09:42,728 New plan, forget the toasts. 215 00:09:42,811 --> 00:09:44,187 We do nothing, 216 00:09:44,271 --> 00:09:46,148 and we hope that our early successes 217 00:09:46,231 --> 00:09:48,609 make up for the embarrassing mess we've become. 218 00:09:48,692 --> 00:09:50,652 Like Facebook or America. 219 00:09:50,736 --> 00:09:53,238 Okay? Sound good? Michael? 220 00:09:53,322 --> 00:09:57,159 We have no way to know what this really means for the experiment. 221 00:09:57,826 --> 00:10:00,287 I don't think we can play it safe. I have a plan. 222 00:10:00,370 --> 00:10:04,750 It's risky, but it might be the only way to get them to where they need to be. 223 00:10:06,168 --> 00:10:07,002 Do you trust me? 224 00:10:08,086 --> 00:10:10,672 Yeah, fork it. Whatever it is, I'm in. 225 00:10:10,756 --> 00:10:13,050 -I'm always down for forking it. -We trust you, Michael. 226 00:10:13,133 --> 00:10:17,846 Then trust... the Magnificent Dr. Presto! 227 00:10:17,929 --> 00:10:22,726 Man, you cannot pull that hat out after you ask us if we trust you. 228 00:10:23,393 --> 00:10:24,394 Soulmates? 229 00:10:24,978 --> 00:10:27,272 That's what Eleanor said, that we're soulmates? 230 00:10:27,356 --> 00:10:28,899 Yep. Pretty neat, huh? 231 00:10:28,982 --> 00:10:31,693 I think it's pretty neat. Do you think it's pretty neat, intensely, forever? 232 00:10:32,736 --> 00:10:37,074 Chidi, I really like you, but I don't think we're soulmates. 233 00:10:37,157 --> 00:10:39,451 Because I don't think soulmates actually exist. 234 00:10:40,077 --> 00:10:40,911 Right. 235 00:10:42,371 --> 00:10:43,372 Right, right. 236 00:10:44,164 --> 00:10:45,540 -Right? -Think rationally. 237 00:10:45,624 --> 00:10:48,502 Isn't it weird that she only told one of us that we're soulmates? 238 00:10:48,585 --> 00:10:51,505 Is it odd? Yes. 239 00:10:51,588 --> 00:10:54,341 Does it mean that Eleanor's motives are questionable? 240 00:10:54,424 --> 00:10:55,759 Also, yes. 241 00:10:55,842 --> 00:10:58,512 But does it suggest that she wasn't being truthful? 242 00:10:58,595 --> 00:11:00,639 Yes. Okay, I'm starting to see your point. 243 00:11:00,722 --> 00:11:01,723 [Simone] Whoa! 244 00:11:04,476 --> 00:11:06,269 What does that mean? 245 00:11:06,770 --> 00:11:08,480 Why are there only four of us? Why not Tahani and Jason? 246 00:11:08,563 --> 00:11:11,233 Why are there emojis? I mean, one of them's party hat guy. 247 00:11:11,316 --> 00:11:12,901 I mean, that's good, right? He's friendly. 248 00:11:12,984 --> 00:11:16,697 It's better than thermometer guy, or angry cat or smiling poop coil. 249 00:11:16,780 --> 00:11:18,031 Okay. We have to get back to the party 250 00:11:18,115 --> 00:11:19,866 before Eleanor and Michael notice we're missing. 251 00:11:19,950 --> 00:11:21,243 Great plan. Let's kiss. 252 00:11:21,326 --> 00:11:23,537 Sorry, still thinking about the soulmate thing. 253 00:11:23,620 --> 00:11:24,996 -Let's go. -Okay. 254 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:28,542 [Eleanor] Ladies and gentlemen... I can't believe I'm saying this. 255 00:11:28,625 --> 00:11:30,961 The Magnificent Dr. Presto! 256 00:11:31,044 --> 00:11:32,087 [crowd applauding] 257 00:11:32,879 --> 00:11:36,758 Thank you. Now, I know some of you may not believe in magic-- 258 00:11:36,842 --> 00:11:38,468 Well, I think they believe in some magic. 259 00:11:38,552 --> 00:11:42,305 Yesterday, everybody ate a lollipop that let them talk to birds. 260 00:11:42,389 --> 00:11:45,267 -[crowd applauding] -Okay, but this is Earth magic, 261 00:11:45,350 --> 00:11:49,604 and it's harder, and if you don't understand that, 262 00:11:49,688 --> 00:11:54,401 I'm here... to change your mind. 263 00:11:54,484 --> 00:11:55,694 Ha-ha! [chuckles] 264 00:11:55,777 --> 00:12:00,157 Oh, come on. It started out as a dollar bill and now it's four quarters. 265 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:01,324 "Change" your mind? 266 00:12:01,408 --> 00:12:02,909 -Michael, it's three quarters. -What? 267 00:12:02,993 --> 00:12:04,035 Oh, oh... 268 00:12:04,119 --> 00:12:05,245 Three quarters. 269 00:12:05,996 --> 00:12:08,790 Three quarters. Even harder. 270 00:12:08,874 --> 00:12:10,292 -Thank you. -[scattered applause] 271 00:12:10,375 --> 00:12:11,835 Can you make them clap harder? 272 00:12:11,918 --> 00:12:13,462 They see what they see, man. 273 00:12:13,962 --> 00:12:15,172 Did you guys find anything? 274 00:12:15,255 --> 00:12:19,092 Yes, proof that the four of us, and only the four of us, are being forked with. 275 00:12:19,176 --> 00:12:21,887 But we still don't have any hard proof that this place is evil, 276 00:12:21,970 --> 00:12:24,806 or that Michael and Eleanor are nefarious, so, you know, 277 00:12:24,890 --> 00:12:26,850 no one's heart needs to break just yet. 278 00:12:26,933 --> 00:12:28,768 I'm with him. This place is fine. 279 00:12:28,852 --> 00:12:30,687 If you guys don't make the cut for the Best Place, 280 00:12:30,770 --> 00:12:33,732 I'll try to put in a good word for you. You guys got business cards? 281 00:12:33,815 --> 00:12:36,359 Brent. I need a volunteer. Come on up. 282 00:12:37,319 --> 00:12:38,278 [resident whoops] 283 00:12:38,361 --> 00:12:43,408 Okay, Brent, I want you to take off your wristwatch and place it in my hat. 284 00:12:43,492 --> 00:12:47,496 Now, this is a Rolex. It's the exact same watch Richie Sambora wears. 285 00:12:47,579 --> 00:12:48,580 -Ah! -Be careful. 286 00:12:48,663 --> 00:12:53,460 And now, the Magnificent Dr. Presto... 287 00:12:53,543 --> 00:12:55,337 will transform your... 288 00:12:55,420 --> 00:12:56,838 -[ground rumbling] -[Michael] Oh, oh... 289 00:12:56,922 --> 00:12:58,548 [crowd exclaiming] 290 00:12:58,632 --> 00:13:00,509 [people screaming] 291 00:13:00,592 --> 00:13:01,843 [Michael] Oh, whoa, no, no! 292 00:13:01,927 --> 00:13:02,969 -[Brent screams] -[thuds] 293 00:13:03,053 --> 00:13:04,346 [panicked chatter] 294 00:13:05,639 --> 00:13:07,849 Brent, can you hear me? 295 00:13:07,933 --> 00:13:12,187 If it somehow helps, there's a small dove in your pocket. 296 00:13:15,482 --> 00:13:16,525 Never mind. 297 00:13:17,609 --> 00:13:21,780 [Michael] Brent, I'm so sorry. I must've screwed up the trick somehow. 298 00:13:21,863 --> 00:13:24,032 Hold on. We're gonna get you out of there. 299 00:13:24,115 --> 00:13:24,950 [Brent] Yeah, you better. 300 00:13:25,033 --> 00:13:27,160 I got a hell of a lawsuit on my hands! I'm gonna frickin' own this place. 301 00:13:27,786 --> 00:13:28,787 Okay. 302 00:13:28,870 --> 00:13:32,082 Okay, everyone, uh, please disperse. We'll let you know when it's safe. 303 00:13:32,165 --> 00:13:35,168 Uh, you three stay here. Keep an eye on Brent. 304 00:13:35,252 --> 00:13:38,880 We're gonna try and fix this remotely, using eternal-being technology. 305 00:13:38,964 --> 00:13:41,800 -Tahani, Jianyu, try and find a rope. -Right-o. 306 00:13:41,883 --> 00:13:45,095 Okay, so what do we do? Try to climb down or wait for the rope? 307 00:13:45,178 --> 00:13:47,055 Neither, we get the fork out of here. 308 00:13:47,138 --> 00:13:50,475 Chidi, a giant hell-hole just opened up and swallowed one of us. 309 00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:54,187 I don't care what this place really is. Giant holes are bad and we should go. 310 00:13:54,271 --> 00:13:55,605 Or giant holes are bad, 311 00:13:55,689 --> 00:13:58,733 so if someone falls into one, you try to help get him out. 312 00:13:58,817 --> 00:14:00,235 -[ground rumbles] -[John screams] 313 00:14:00,318 --> 00:14:01,486 I'm not scared. 314 00:14:01,570 --> 00:14:04,197 I'm shouting so you know I'm okay. I am very brave. 315 00:14:04,990 --> 00:14:09,119 Whoo! I hope this works. We basically just confirmed that we're lying to them. 316 00:14:09,202 --> 00:14:12,622 Oh, man. Was this a bad idea? I mean, what if this was a bad idea? 317 00:14:12,706 --> 00:14:14,124 It wasn't, homie. It was a good idea. 318 00:14:14,916 --> 00:14:17,252 -Can anyone else weigh in? -[Jason] I'm serious. 319 00:14:17,335 --> 00:14:21,089 In football, trying to run out the clock and hoping for the best never works. 320 00:14:21,172 --> 00:14:22,340 It's called prevent defense. 321 00:14:22,424 --> 00:14:25,135 You don't take any chances and try and hang on to your lead. 322 00:14:25,218 --> 00:14:28,972 But prevent defense just prevents you from winning. 323 00:14:29,848 --> 00:14:31,808 It's always better to try something. 324 00:14:31,892 --> 00:14:34,728 Jason, that was... coherent! 325 00:14:34,811 --> 00:14:37,230 Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to. 326 00:14:37,314 --> 00:14:39,065 It's a good plan, Michael. 327 00:14:39,149 --> 00:14:42,110 Hopefully, they've bonded enough as a group to rescue Brent, 328 00:14:42,193 --> 00:14:44,279 call me, get a train and all head out of here together. 329 00:14:44,362 --> 00:14:46,489 But was it a mistake to have Brent fall in? 330 00:14:46,573 --> 00:14:50,118 We could've had Chidi fall in, right? Or a cute baby panda. 331 00:14:50,201 --> 00:14:53,038 Or maybe, you know, a box of donuts. Everyone loves donuts. 332 00:14:53,121 --> 00:14:54,539 Brent was the right choice. 333 00:14:54,623 --> 00:14:56,917 It's not a tough call whether to save Chidi, 334 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,544 because he's a brilliant and kind person, 335 00:14:59,628 --> 00:15:02,672 with a caboose you can bounce a quarter off of and I know 'cause I've done it. 336 00:15:02,756 --> 00:15:06,760 We threw Brent in there because there is no reason 337 00:15:06,843 --> 00:15:09,346 any of them should help him, because Brent sucks. 338 00:15:09,429 --> 00:15:11,514 Brent is the opposite of a box of donuts. 339 00:15:11,598 --> 00:15:13,934 -Toilet full of broccoli. -Yeah, kinda. 340 00:15:14,017 --> 00:15:16,019 Brent is a toilet full of broccoli. 341 00:15:16,102 --> 00:15:18,855 But because he sucks so bad, 342 00:15:18,939 --> 00:15:22,275 if they do risk their safety to help him, they'll get more points. 343 00:15:22,359 --> 00:15:24,235 Basically, it's a Hail Mary. 344 00:15:24,319 --> 00:15:28,615 It's risky, but if we complete it, we win the game. 345 00:15:28,698 --> 00:15:31,326 That was two good analogies in a row. 346 00:15:31,868 --> 00:15:34,287 I'm now worried he's a demon in a Jason suit. 347 00:15:34,955 --> 00:15:37,457 Are we really in hell? 348 00:15:37,540 --> 00:15:42,045 I didn't lead a perfect life on Earth, but I worked very hard. 349 00:15:42,128 --> 00:15:43,964 Making fun of people you'd never even met. 350 00:15:44,047 --> 00:15:45,632 I guess you must be right, Simone, 351 00:15:45,715 --> 00:15:47,634 because you always have to be. [chuckles lightly] 352 00:15:47,717 --> 00:15:49,511 Hey, are you the bottom of a coal-fired pizza? 353 00:15:49,594 --> 00:15:52,973 -Why, because I'm burnt? -Gah! You are always right. [groans] 354 00:15:53,056 --> 00:15:55,558 If it is hell, I know why I'm here. 355 00:15:56,226 --> 00:15:58,853 Almond milk. I drank so much of it, 356 00:15:58,937 --> 00:16:01,189 despite the negative environmental impacts. 357 00:16:01,272 --> 00:16:04,609 Wherever we are, I do not wanna be here when the clock hits zero. 358 00:16:04,693 --> 00:16:06,653 Now might be our only chance to escape. 359 00:16:06,736 --> 00:16:07,654 Not without Brent. 360 00:16:07,737 --> 00:16:11,366 Do you think if the roles were reversed, he would waste any time rescuing you? 361 00:16:11,449 --> 00:16:14,911 Maybe... if Elle Macpherson were nearby and he wanted to impress her, 362 00:16:14,995 --> 00:16:17,706 or if he thought that I was a prince he could ransom... 363 00:16:18,498 --> 00:16:22,085 That's not the point. He is a person in a hole. 364 00:16:22,168 --> 00:16:26,214 I have a duty to help him get out. What he would do is irrelevant. 365 00:16:26,297 --> 00:16:27,424 I don't think it is. 366 00:16:27,507 --> 00:16:30,135 If you do a science experiment a thousand times 367 00:16:30,218 --> 00:16:32,595 and always get the same results, you move on. 368 00:16:32,679 --> 00:16:36,057 We've given Brent a thousand chances to be a good person. 369 00:16:36,141 --> 00:16:40,937 In one of them, he was so awful, you punched him in the face. 370 00:16:41,021 --> 00:16:44,149 Okay, when I did that, I thought cutting him out of our group 371 00:16:44,232 --> 00:16:47,944 meant that he would have to find another place in heaven to hang out. 372 00:16:48,028 --> 00:16:50,280 That's changed. I can't just leave him. 373 00:16:51,781 --> 00:16:52,782 Well... 374 00:16:54,159 --> 00:16:55,493 I respect your position. 375 00:16:57,495 --> 00:16:59,122 I respect yours. 376 00:17:03,376 --> 00:17:05,712 Look, I know everything's really scary right now, 377 00:17:05,795 --> 00:17:07,130 but I just have to say it. 378 00:17:08,006 --> 00:17:10,842 That was the most boring breakup I've ever seen. 379 00:17:12,135 --> 00:17:12,969 [car engine starts] 380 00:17:15,180 --> 00:17:16,723 [Brent] Hey, Chidi, shake it off. 381 00:17:16,806 --> 00:17:19,142 -Another bus comes every 15 minutes. -[Chidi] Brent. 382 00:17:27,817 --> 00:17:29,986 -Where are they? -They never called a train. 383 00:17:30,070 --> 00:17:32,822 -They must've taken Brent's Escalade. -Oh, that's good. 384 00:17:32,906 --> 00:17:36,493 The important thing is that the group bonded and stayed together. 385 00:17:36,576 --> 00:17:39,662 -[Brent] Hello? Can someone help us? -"Us"? 386 00:17:39,746 --> 00:17:42,248 Yeah, this frickin' genius tried to help me and he fell in. 387 00:17:42,332 --> 00:17:44,959 -I thought you were smart, man. -Are you serious right now? 388 00:17:45,043 --> 00:17:47,378 [Eleanor] Well, turns out the group did not bond. 389 00:17:47,462 --> 00:17:49,297 The group snapped in half. 390 00:17:51,341 --> 00:17:54,511 Will you help us? These rocks are really sharp down here. 391 00:17:54,594 --> 00:17:56,221 -I'm scared. -I'm not. 392 00:17:56,304 --> 00:17:58,473 -Just give us a second. -Guys, I think we're cooked. 393 00:17:58,556 --> 00:18:01,392 -It's over. -No. No way. 394 00:18:01,476 --> 00:18:04,479 I am not giving up. I told you I only play games I can win, 395 00:18:04,562 --> 00:18:06,606 and I played this game, so that means we can win. 396 00:18:06,689 --> 00:18:08,566 -I don't think that tracks. -Shut up. What do you know? 397 00:18:08,650 --> 00:18:12,695 Literally everything, but keep going. I am liking this energy from you. 398 00:18:13,279 --> 00:18:15,990 We have eight minutes left, so that means we keep trying. 399 00:18:16,074 --> 00:18:18,201 What else can we try? We've already blown everything up. 400 00:18:18,284 --> 00:18:19,160 We can't blow it up again. 401 00:18:19,244 --> 00:18:20,620 If there's one thing I know in this world, 402 00:18:20,703 --> 00:18:23,414 it's that you can always blow up the same thing twice. 403 00:18:24,582 --> 00:18:25,583 He's right. 404 00:18:26,709 --> 00:18:28,336 We have one last move here. 405 00:18:28,962 --> 00:18:31,131 Guys, we are so sorry about your ordeal. 406 00:18:31,214 --> 00:18:33,049 We just have a few questions for you. 407 00:18:33,133 --> 00:18:36,052 Where are John and Simone? We can't find them. 408 00:18:36,136 --> 00:18:39,556 They left. I don't know where they went. 409 00:18:39,639 --> 00:18:41,307 Typical. Disloyal jerks. 410 00:18:42,100 --> 00:18:45,145 You know, man, actually, they really tried with you, 411 00:18:45,228 --> 00:18:46,563 and you made it very hard to be your friend. 412 00:18:46,646 --> 00:18:48,481 You wanna know what happened? 413 00:18:48,565 --> 00:18:50,692 They got jealous because I'm going to the Best Place. 414 00:18:50,775 --> 00:18:51,818 They bugged out. 415 00:18:51,901 --> 00:18:53,319 You're not going to the Best Place. 416 00:18:53,403 --> 00:18:56,197 Don't you get it? They're torturing you. They're torturing all of us. 417 00:18:56,865 --> 00:18:57,907 [Brent scoffs] 418 00:18:57,991 --> 00:19:00,285 Because this is the Bad Place. 419 00:19:03,621 --> 00:19:05,081 [both cackling] 420 00:19:09,085 --> 00:19:12,172 Oh, man. I can't believe you figured it out. 421 00:19:12,255 --> 00:19:16,426 Wait, he's right? This is the Bad Place? 422 00:19:16,509 --> 00:19:18,636 Yeah. Damn it, he's right. 423 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:20,597 -We had a good run, though. -We did. 424 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:23,308 -[both chuckling] -So, no Best Place? 425 00:19:23,391 --> 00:19:24,767 -[imitating Brent] "So, no Best Place?" -No. 426 00:19:24,851 --> 00:19:28,563 Oh, Brent, you big white oaf. Never change, bud. [chuckles] 427 00:19:28,646 --> 00:19:31,774 Well, I guess we should let them know you guys are on your way. 428 00:19:31,858 --> 00:19:33,234 -Yeah. -Wait. On our way where? 429 00:19:33,318 --> 00:19:34,611 The actual Bad Place. 430 00:19:34,694 --> 00:19:37,238 They let us toy with you a little just for kicks, 431 00:19:37,322 --> 00:19:39,657 -but now you're going... [vocalizes] -[Eleanor chuckles] 432 00:19:39,741 --> 00:19:41,117 [Michael] And trust me on this... 433 00:19:41,743 --> 00:19:43,203 it's a lot worse. 434 00:19:43,286 --> 00:19:45,288 [Eleanor and Michael cackling] 435 00:19:49,792 --> 00:19:52,253 -[Tahani] Well done. -Let's hope it works. 436 00:19:52,337 --> 00:19:53,963 We only have a minute left. 437 00:19:54,047 --> 00:19:55,340 Man, crazy twist, huh? 438 00:19:56,341 --> 00:19:57,967 It's like something out of a Chip Driver novel. 439 00:19:58,051 --> 00:20:01,179 -Leave me alone, Brent. -I'm kinda freaking out over here, man. 440 00:20:01,721 --> 00:20:04,557 -You're my only real friend. -I'm not your friend. I don't like you. 441 00:20:05,099 --> 00:20:06,809 -But you helped me. -Yeah, I did. 442 00:20:06,893 --> 00:20:10,021 Because I have this stupid moral code that forces me to help everyone. 443 00:20:10,104 --> 00:20:13,983 But you have never helped anyone because you don't care about other people, 444 00:20:14,067 --> 00:20:16,069 which is the bare minimum that a person has to do. 445 00:20:16,152 --> 00:20:18,279 Just care, a little, about the other people around you, 446 00:20:18,363 --> 00:20:20,114 and you can't do it. 447 00:20:23,743 --> 00:20:25,578 What are you trying to say here? 448 00:20:27,664 --> 00:20:30,708 You are a bad person. 449 00:20:33,044 --> 00:20:36,005 -You can do this. -Come on, dumb-dumb. Faster. 450 00:20:39,217 --> 00:20:40,635 No, I'm not. 451 00:20:41,469 --> 00:20:44,347 I'm not... I'm not a bad person. 452 00:20:45,181 --> 00:20:47,684 I'm not. I'm a good person. 453 00:20:50,270 --> 00:20:51,854 Oh, man. 454 00:20:53,231 --> 00:20:55,858 Oh, no, no, no. 455 00:20:57,026 --> 00:20:57,986 No, no. 456 00:20:58,611 --> 00:21:03,366 Look, Chidi, whatever happens next, I, uh, need to say this to you. 457 00:21:03,449 --> 00:21:05,034 All right? I am... 458 00:21:05,702 --> 00:21:08,997 I am so, so sor-- 459 00:21:17,797 --> 00:21:21,217 Sorry, Eleanor asked me to bring her this the second the experiment was over. 460 00:21:21,301 --> 00:21:23,303 Well, you know what they say. 461 00:21:23,386 --> 00:21:25,805 It's zero o'clock in the sky somewhere.