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So, Aristotle was Plato's student
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and Aristotle believes
that your character is voluntary
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because it's just the result
of your actions
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which are under your control!
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For example, right now,
you have made the insane choice
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to ignore the person
who is literally trying to save you
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from eternal damnation.
- No, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm listening.
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Uh, I just...
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are we sure we should be
paying attention to these guys?
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It's like, who died
and left Aristotle in charge of ethics?
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Plato.
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Uh, coming!
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Uhm... We're just kissing!
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And groping?
- What?
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Hello!
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Tahani, hi!
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What brings you here?
- You know, I was just, uh...
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"in the Neighbourhood."
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Do you get it, Eleanor?
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Because you know
we're all in the same afterlife
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so you know I'm always
"in the Neighbourhood!"
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Do you get it?
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I do. And it's delightful.
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Anyway, this is for you.
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Just a housewarming plant!
It's a little reminder that
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if there's ever anything that you need,
I am right next door.
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How could I possibly forget?
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Have a great day, Tahani.
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Oh. Bye.
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Ugh. Tahani.
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"Welcome to the Neighbourhood
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even though we all arrived here
at the same time!
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Here's some dirt I put in a bowl,
because I'm amazing!"
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I thought it was kind of a nice gesture.
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Oh, Chidi. It's a total con.
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She only does things like this
so that we will talk about
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how "thoughtful" and "wonderful" she is,
but I see through her little act.
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Her act of being a nice person
who brings you gifts?
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Bingo.
- Okay, I'll... I'll remind you
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that you're trying
to learn how to be a good person.
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Mm-hmm.
- Maybe you should
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return the favour - bring her something.
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Oh, so now I'm supposed to be nice
and make friends
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and treat her with mutual respect?
- Yeah.
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That's exactly what she wants me to do,
Chidi. Wake up!
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That... that's what everyone
wants everyone to do.
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Hello, Chidi!
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No frozen yoghurt for you this morning?
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Oh, uh... no, just, uh...
doing some reading.
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Ah, been there, brother.
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Workin' hard or hardly workin',
am I right?
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Hump day.
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Uh, sorry.
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Janet's functioning as my assistant
but she's a little stiff
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so I've been trying to get her to be
a little more casual and conversational.
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I'll have what she's having!
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It's a work in progress.
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Listen, Chidi.
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I've been studying your file -
you're a very interesting case.
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You essentially only did one thing
while you were on Earth
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you thought and wrote about ethics.
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Yes. I... I spent eighteen years
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working on my manuscript...
- Right.
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...called "Who We Are and Who We Are Not..."
- No, no, I...
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..."colon - Practical Ethics and Their...
- Mm-hmm.
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...Application in the Modern World...
- Yes. Right.
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...semi-colon - a Treatise on the..."
- Yes, yes, yes!
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That's... that's the one.
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But searching for moral truths
isn't really relevant anymore.
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Because here in the Good Place
we actually know all the answers.
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I think you should experience
new adventures, you know
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do things that you haven't done on Earth.
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Right? So why don't we meet tomorrow
and try out some new hobbies.
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Uh, why not?
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I'll... I'll see you guys tomorrow.
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Not if I see you first.
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Where's the beef?
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I don't know.
- Hump day.
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Hello, Eleanor!
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Jianyu, darling, look -
it's Eleanor from next door!
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Is he asleep?
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You know, there's really no way to tell.
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You know one time
I actually thought he was dead.
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But then I remembered
we're all dead, aren't we?
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Such fun. Come in! Come on in!
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What brings you to our home,
my dear?
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Well, I'm simply repaying your kind gift
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with a housewarming gift of my own.
Fresh pears.
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It's a plant, just like your gift,
but you can actually eat them
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so maybe it's a better gift?
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Who's to say?
- That's so kind.
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However, in, um... Chinese culture,
pears are actually a symbol of bad luck.
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And I don't want to offend Jianyu,
so I'm afraid
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I'm going to have
to throw these in the garbage.
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But do come and sit down!
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We haven't even had a chance to discuss
all of the mayhem in our neighbourhood yet.
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It's so disconcerting.
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Yes.
What do you think is causing it?
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Oh, I'm sure I don't know.
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But we must keep our heads up.
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In fact, tomorrow I'm actually going
door-to-door to make sure
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that every single person
in this entire neighbourhood
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is "keeping calm and carrying on."
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'Cause I think that helping others
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will make me feel
like I truly belong here, you know?
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Here's a brainstorm -
why don't I go with you?
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I mean, I would love to do my part
to help the neighbourhood -
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not to mention get a little bonding time
with you, lady!
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Oh, hurrah!
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Such fun!
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I'm telling you, Tahani's out to get me.
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Wha-what are you talking about?
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This note was slipped
under my door yesterday.
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It has to be Tahani.
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She just said to me,
"I want to feel like I truly belong here."
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Well, where have I seen
the word "belong" recently?
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Oh, yeah - Ka-plow!
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Okay, I really don't think she's the type
of person who would write this.
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She is that kind of person,
and she did write it.
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She wants everybody to think
she's such a perfect princess
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just 'cause she's tall, and glamorous,
and has cappuccino skin
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and curves everywhere,
and now I'm complimenting her.
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And kind of turned on!
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The point is,
she straight-up sucks, bro.
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Whoa...
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Typical Tahani.
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Brings us a faulty plant, so she can brag
about being a better gardener.
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No - I think this is another way in which
your negative actions affect this world.
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This plant represents
your relationship to Tahani
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so when you're mean to her,
it starts to wilt.
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Well, then this plant is doomed,
because tomorrow I'm going with her
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and I'm gonna prove to you and to everyone
that she is secretly a two-faced
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calculating, phony bench.
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Yeah, truth hurts, doesn't it, plant?
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Hello!
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Oh! Come on in.
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I'll be ready in a jiff.
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Jianyu, darling, look -
it's Eleanor from next door again!
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The one who brought
the offensive fruit.
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Ah, yes. What an embarrassing
blunder on my part.
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Oh, no. Don't give it a second thought.
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I wouldn't expect anyone else to have
my understanding of international etiquette.
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Hey, um... any idea why they gave you
such a big house?
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I mean, if we were in America
and... and you had like a big truck
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I would think you might be
compensating for something.
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Yes, well American men can be very silly.
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You know I used to do
quite a cutting impression
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of an ex-boyfriend of mine
from the States.
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He'd be all like,
"Hey, I'm so rich. I have nine houses.
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I'm Leonardo DiCaprio."
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It's just so silly.
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Anyway, I should've guessed that you
would want to help our neighbourhood.
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We are birds of a feather,
you and I.
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We make every effort
to be our best selves.
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Mmm.
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Hey, babe. Got you coffee.
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Ah, great.
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Oh. Andy's Coffee?
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Uh, we shouldn't go there.
Everybody's boycotting.
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Yeah, I know that one guy found
a scorpion in his latte.
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I don't really care, though,
'cause it's so close to here.
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No, no, no, no, it's because
he's sexually harassing people.
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Look, a journalist went undercover
for an interview and recorded him.
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Here, watch.
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Here's the thing, sweetheart.
You are very qualified, but you're also
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what we call in the coffee shop game,
a "dog-face."
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You're a three,
and you have to be a nine to work here.
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It's just math.
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So, I didn't get the job?
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No! Dog-face,
you didn't get the job.
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All right,
I'll check your references.
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Just to be...
- Hey, my breasts!
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...nice, I'll check them.
Oh! They're good. Honk!
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I mean this guy's a monster.
We can't support this guy.
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Okay, hey, you're not better than me
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just 'cause you won't support a guy
who grabbed a boob once.
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No, I'm just saying we shouldn't go there.
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We can get coffee somewhere else.
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Did you know
your left reference
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is a little bit bigger
than your right reference?
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It's not a bad thing.
It's just... it's a thing.
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This is the perfect hobby for you, Chidi.
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Cartography!
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Your neighbourhood stretches way
beyond what you've already seen.
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And you can map it
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revealing all
of the mysteries, like an explorer!
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I see how that might be fun.
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Uh, but exploring makes me nervous.
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I have what doctors call
"directional insanity."
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I once got lost on an escalator.
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So, not exactly Christopher Columbus.
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Fun fact - Columbus is in the Bad Place
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because of all the raping,
slave trade, and genocide.
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The fact that it makes you nervous is exactly
why you should do it.
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You know,
get out of your comfort zone.
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Become a trailblazer.
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00:08:46,547 --> 00:08:50,759
Fun fact - all deceased members
of the Portland Trail Blazers basketball team
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are also in the Bad Place.
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00:08:52,803 --> 00:08:54,012
Ah. Yeah.
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00:08:54,180 --> 00:08:57,098
Sorry about this.
I steered her away from colloquialisms
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00:08:57,141 --> 00:08:59,976
and into "fun facts" and trivia titbits.
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00:09:00,019 --> 00:09:02,020
I thought it'd be more
in her wheelhouse.
203
00:09:02,063 --> 00:09:04,731
Fun fact - a "wheelhouse"
is a part of a boat.
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00:09:04,815 --> 00:09:06,232
Okay, thank you, Janet.
Thank you.
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00:09:06,275 --> 00:09:07,776
Fun fact - Janet is me.
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00:09:07,860 --> 00:09:09,611
All right, let's forget about exploring.
207
00:09:10,029 --> 00:09:11,696
Plenty more ideas for hobbies.
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00:09:11,739 --> 00:09:13,323
Let's walk back to town, shall we?
209
00:09:13,574 --> 00:09:16,242
Okay. Hang on.
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00:09:16,827 --> 00:09:18,161
Wrong way!
- Yep!
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00:09:20,456 --> 00:09:23,750
So all I want to do is just check in,
see how everyone's holding up -
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00:09:23,793 --> 00:09:26,419
just bring some cheer
to these extraordinary people.
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00:09:26,712 --> 00:09:27,587
Cool.
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00:09:28,339 --> 00:09:30,298
So tell me about yourself.
215
00:09:30,633 --> 00:09:35,136
I mean, I want to hear it all, girlfriend!
The good, the bad, the really bad,
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00:09:35,179 --> 00:09:36,846
the embarrassing, the humiliating...
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00:09:36,889 --> 00:09:38,264
just... let's bond!
218
00:09:38,641 --> 00:09:43,061
Okay. Well, I... I was born in Pakistan,
raised in London, schooled in Paris.
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00:09:43,104 --> 00:09:45,105
But I think the primary reason
I'm in the Good Place
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00:09:45,147 --> 00:09:47,690
is that I raised quite a lot of money
for non-profit groups.
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00:09:47,775 --> 00:09:51,945
Oh! Did you ever, uh...
skim a little off the top, for yourself?
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00:09:52,279 --> 00:09:55,865
Gracious, no! No!
Every penny was accounted for.
223
00:09:56,158 --> 00:09:58,243
And as I raised nearly sixty billion dollars
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00:09:58,285 --> 00:10:00,036
that was quite a lot of pennies!
225
00:10:00,079 --> 00:10:02,247
But I also dabbled
in some other professions.
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00:10:02,414 --> 00:10:06,167
I was a model, a museum curator,
and "It Girl," and...
227
00:10:06,710 --> 00:10:08,711
oh, I was Baz Luhrmann's muse
for a while.
228
00:10:08,754 --> 00:10:09,671
That was quite fun.
229
00:10:09,713 --> 00:10:12,006
Modelling - that's a crazy life.
230
00:10:12,216 --> 00:10:14,759
Wanna tell me about that rock-bottom
you probably hit?
231
00:10:14,802 --> 00:10:15,969
Oh, I didn't really do it for long.
232
00:10:16,011 --> 00:10:17,387
Couture just doesn't fit my body.
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00:10:17,429 --> 00:10:18,972
I'm cursed with ample bosom.
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00:10:19,265 --> 00:10:21,641
And yet, you soldier on!
- Oh, this is silly.
235
00:10:21,684 --> 00:10:24,727
So, "Tahani" means
"congratulations" in Arabic
236
00:10:24,770 --> 00:10:26,396
and Al-Jamil means "beautiful."
237
00:10:26,438 --> 00:10:27,689
So my full name all together means...
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00:10:27,731 --> 00:10:29,274
"Congratulations, Beautiful."
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00:10:29,316 --> 00:10:31,609
Thanks, Eleanor! You big flirt.
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00:10:34,530 --> 00:10:36,197
Extra! Extra!
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00:10:36,615 --> 00:10:38,616
Read all about you!
242
00:10:38,742 --> 00:10:42,579
Chidi, this is the perfect hobby
for you - journalism.
243
00:10:42,788 --> 00:10:45,206
Well, obviously, I... I like to write.
244
00:10:45,833 --> 00:10:48,084
But I don't love deadlines.
245
00:10:48,127 --> 00:10:49,669
I prefer to take my time with things.
246
00:10:49,712 --> 00:10:50,587
Yes, I know.
247
00:10:50,629 --> 00:10:53,131
Uh, you never even named your dog,
did you?
248
00:10:53,174 --> 00:10:57,760
When it ran away, you posted signs saying,
"Responds to long pauses."
249
00:10:57,970 --> 00:11:02,056
Look, Chidi. I'm just trying to find you
a hobby that - the hat -
250
00:11:02,349 --> 00:11:04,726
that will bring you
a positive experience.
251
00:11:05,060 --> 00:11:05,935
What do you say?
252
00:11:06,353 --> 00:11:07,937
I'm loving that hat on you.
253
00:11:08,606 --> 00:11:12,233
It would look even better on my floor.
- What is happening now?
254
00:11:12,276 --> 00:11:13,818
I suggested she be friendlier.
255
00:11:13,861 --> 00:11:17,113
She seems to have slipped
right into overt sexuality.
256
00:11:17,323 --> 00:11:18,823
I got something you can slip into.
257
00:11:18,866 --> 00:11:22,327
Oh...
- Janet, no! No, Janet!
258
00:11:24,038 --> 00:11:25,788
Well, Glenn, we just wanted
to make sure you were all right.
259
00:11:25,831 --> 00:11:27,123
Tahani! You're too sweet!
260
00:11:27,458 --> 00:11:29,584
Oh.
- Isn't she just the nicest person?
261
00:11:29,627 --> 00:11:30,501
Mm-hmm.
262
00:11:30,669 --> 00:11:32,587
That is what a lot of people
are saying.
263
00:11:32,796 --> 00:11:34,672
Oh, everyone I know is saying that.
- Yeah.
264
00:11:34,715 --> 00:11:37,675
It's just a big neighbourhood
full of enormous mansions
265
00:11:37,718 --> 00:11:39,052
and people who love Tahani!
266
00:11:39,428 --> 00:11:41,638
There's also a heck of a lot of yoghurt.
267
00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:45,558
Excellent observation, Glenn.
268
00:11:46,644 --> 00:11:49,395
Eleanor and I just want to see
if there's anything we can do to help you?
269
00:11:49,438 --> 00:11:51,022
Oh, Tahani, you are so thoughtful!
270
00:11:51,190 --> 00:11:54,776
Despite all the chaos earlier,
we simply couldn't be happier.
271
00:11:54,818 --> 00:11:56,527
Oh, I'm so glad to hear it, Cualli!
272
00:11:56,570 --> 00:11:58,196
Please take a maple butter scone.
273
00:11:58,239 --> 00:11:59,614
I made them fresh this morning!
274
00:11:59,865 --> 00:12:01,699
Ooh, they look a bit burnt.
275
00:12:04,703 --> 00:12:05,745
But they're not.
276
00:12:05,913 --> 00:12:08,206
Hmm. Oh, fork, that's good!
277
00:12:08,624 --> 00:12:10,291
Okay!
278
00:12:10,334 --> 00:12:12,377
Arc welding!
You could learn sculpture
279
00:12:12,461 --> 00:12:13,753
you could make furniture
280
00:12:13,796 --> 00:12:16,381
you could get your hands a little greasy,
you know, and you make things!
281
00:12:16,882 --> 00:12:21,594
And, by the way, this is an exact replica
of Brancusi's workshop in Paris.
282
00:12:21,637 --> 00:12:23,930
This equipment is very scary.
283
00:12:24,473 --> 00:12:26,766
Don't be a baby. It can't hurt you.
284
00:12:27,184 --> 00:12:29,644
Watch. I'll blowtorch your face off.
- Janet!
285
00:12:29,895 --> 00:12:32,146
Whatever.
This whole thing is stupid.
286
00:12:32,815 --> 00:12:33,690
Oh, brother.
287
00:12:33,774 --> 00:12:36,359
I told her to be less flirty.
288
00:12:36,402 --> 00:12:38,987
Now she's cruel and distant,
apparently.
289
00:12:39,196 --> 00:12:40,363
I just can't get this right.
290
00:12:40,489 --> 00:12:43,449
Thank you for trying to find me
a new hobby, uh...
291
00:12:43,617 --> 00:12:45,493
but I just want to be an academic.
292
00:12:45,869 --> 00:12:48,121
I want to keep working
on my manuscript.
293
00:12:49,748 --> 00:12:51,457
Chidi, here's the thing.
294
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:55,503
See, I... I read your whole book -
all thirty-six hundred pages of it.
295
00:12:55,754 --> 00:12:58,298
It's, um... how shall I put this?
296
00:12:58,465 --> 00:12:59,340
It's a mess, dude.
297
00:13:00,259 --> 00:13:01,134
Hey!
298
00:13:01,844 --> 00:13:02,719
She's right.
299
00:13:02,886 --> 00:13:07,348
You see, Chidi, I can read the entirety
of the world's literature in about an hour.
300
00:13:07,975 --> 00:13:10,351
This took me two weeks to get through.
301
00:13:10,477 --> 00:13:12,020
I mean, it's so convoluted!
302
00:13:12,062 --> 00:13:14,897
I just kept reading the same paragraph
over and over again
303
00:13:15,190 --> 00:13:17,233
trying to figure out
what the heck you were saying.
304
00:13:17,276 --> 00:13:18,401
Oh, no.
- I mean, on...
305
00:13:18,444 --> 00:13:22,905
on page one thousand,
you start section two with the sentence -
306
00:13:23,282 --> 00:13:25,950
"Of course,
the exact opposite might be true."
307
00:13:26,618 --> 00:13:32,415
You're a brilliant guy, Chidi,
but you just kept revising, and rewriting
308
00:13:32,458 --> 00:13:34,083
and adding words to your title.
309
00:13:34,126 --> 00:13:36,627
I think you just twisted yourself up
into a knot.
310
00:13:37,296 --> 00:13:38,463
I have a very bad stomach ache.
311
00:13:41,216 --> 00:13:42,300
Oh, Jianyu, darling,
would you like some tea?
312
00:13:45,054 --> 00:13:46,637
That nod meant "no," apparently.
313
00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:49,349
Well, it was nice to get out
and meet all of our wonderful neighbours.
314
00:13:49,391 --> 00:13:52,185
They all truly belong here.
315
00:13:52,227 --> 00:13:54,479
Mmm. Yes, they do, cutie pants!
316
00:13:54,521 --> 00:13:55,396
Boop!
317
00:13:55,731 --> 00:13:57,190
Well! I should really be going.
I have to begin
318
00:13:57,232 --> 00:13:59,776
my twelve-step
Korean skin care regimen but, uh...
319
00:13:59,818 --> 00:14:01,152
I'll see you... oh, no, no, no.
320
00:14:01,195 --> 00:14:03,029
Please, stay
and enjoy the evening tea.
321
00:14:03,072 --> 00:14:03,946
I'll see you soon.
322
00:14:05,532 --> 00:14:09,202
I can't even tell if you've kissed
my cheek or the air around it.
323
00:14:09,244 --> 00:14:11,788
Oh. Thank you. That's the goal.
324
00:14:12,122 --> 00:14:13,039
Boop!
325
00:14:27,763 --> 00:14:29,847
"The Diary of Tahani Al-Jamil."
326
00:14:32,184 --> 00:14:33,059
Hey, man!
327
00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:36,270
What's wrong?
328
00:14:36,855 --> 00:14:37,814
Am I a good teacher?
329
00:14:38,482 --> 00:14:40,650
Am I... am I clear, do I make sense?
330
00:14:40,692 --> 00:14:43,820
Yeah, you're a great teacher!
I'm super ethical now.
331
00:14:44,613 --> 00:14:45,696
What's that?
- Hmm?
332
00:14:46,198 --> 00:14:47,573
Nah... Don't worry about it.
333
00:14:50,202 --> 00:14:54,580
I stole Tahani's diary so I could see
if her handwriting matches the note
334
00:14:54,623 --> 00:14:58,584
and also read about all the mean
and terrible things she's definitely done
335
00:14:58,627 --> 00:15:00,628
so I can prove she's actually evil.
336
00:15:04,758 --> 00:15:05,633
Huh.
337
00:15:07,177 --> 00:15:08,469
What do you think that means?
338
00:15:08,971 --> 00:15:10,471
It's tough to interpret.
339
00:15:11,348 --> 00:15:12,432
Feels positive though.
340
00:15:16,270 --> 00:15:18,980
You stole Tahani's diary?
341
00:15:19,022 --> 00:15:21,441
I know I broke some ethical rule
but I had good reason.
342
00:15:21,483 --> 00:15:25,820
Eleanor. In order to be a good person
you have to do good things.
343
00:15:26,155 --> 00:15:30,199
And not stealing people's stuff,
that is just a basic kindergarten rule.
344
00:15:30,284 --> 00:15:33,536
I mean, do I also have to tell you
to not throw sand?
345
00:15:33,787 --> 00:15:35,997
First of all, throwing sand
is an excellent way to put out a vodka fire.
346
00:15:36,039 --> 00:15:37,039
Why would you even know that?
347
00:15:37,082 --> 00:15:39,375
Second of all, I know
that it may not be "nice"
348
00:15:39,418 --> 00:15:42,587
but neither is pretending to be
one hundred percent perfect
349
00:15:42,629 --> 00:15:43,796
like Tahani does.
350
00:15:43,964 --> 00:15:46,424
She wrote that note.
- No, she didn't!
351
00:15:46,758 --> 00:15:47,758
You did!
352
00:15:48,719 --> 00:15:51,762
I... I was hoping you would come
to this conclusion on your own
353
00:15:51,805 --> 00:15:56,184
but obviously, no one here
would ever threaten you.
354
00:15:56,602 --> 00:16:00,313
That note is the Good Place
manifesting your own guilt -
355
00:16:00,355 --> 00:16:05,610
like with the plant, or when you literally
made giant shrimp fly through the air.
356
00:16:07,070 --> 00:16:08,488
I wrote myself the note!
357
00:16:09,323 --> 00:16:12,325
And as it turns out I do belong here
358
00:16:12,743 --> 00:16:14,327
because I'm just as good as everyone else.
359
00:16:14,912 --> 00:16:17,955
And... and nobody is at fault for anything.
360
00:16:18,081 --> 00:16:20,917
Oh! You, sir, are an excellent teacher.
361
00:16:20,959 --> 00:16:23,252
No, no, no. You don't belong here.
362
00:16:23,295 --> 00:16:26,255
And in this place,
everyone is better than you.
363
00:16:26,298 --> 00:16:28,841
It has been proven by an infallible formula.
364
00:16:29,301 --> 00:16:33,679
Tahani might be a little British
and condescending at times
365
00:16:33,722 --> 00:16:37,683
but she devoted her entire life
to helping other people.
366
00:16:38,393 --> 00:16:41,604
I mean when you were with her today,
did she do anything to indicate
367
00:16:41,647 --> 00:16:43,648
that she might be secretly out to get you?
368
00:16:43,815 --> 00:16:46,359
No. Because I was there
to thwart her plan.
369
00:16:46,401 --> 00:16:50,696
Or because the only plan
was to comfort people.
370
00:16:51,281 --> 00:16:53,157
She's a good person. Accept that.
371
00:16:56,745 --> 00:16:59,956
Hey, babe. Great news.
I got us tickets to the Coyotes' game.
372
00:17:00,207 --> 00:17:02,667
Awesome!
- But, ooh, yikes.
373
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,961
Turns out two of the players
have "DUI"s.
374
00:17:05,420 --> 00:17:07,380
Guess we can't cheer for that team.
375
00:17:07,422 --> 00:17:08,297
Eleanor...
376
00:17:08,340 --> 00:17:12,843
You know what? Instead, let's just stay in,
watch a Roman Polanski movie
377
00:17:12,970 --> 00:17:15,304
listen to R. Kelly, and eat Chik-Fil-A.
378
00:17:15,556 --> 00:17:17,181
Does that sound good?
379
00:17:17,224 --> 00:17:19,433
There's bad stuff everywhere, man.
380
00:17:19,476 --> 00:17:21,185
It's impossible to avoid.
381
00:17:21,478 --> 00:17:23,312
Yeah, but... shouldn't we just try?
382
00:17:23,355 --> 00:17:25,773
Shouldn't we just try to do
the right thing, whenever we can?
383
00:17:25,816 --> 00:17:29,193
Why? It's so much harder to live like that,
and it's not like someone's keeping score.
384
00:17:29,403 --> 00:17:31,904
Look, I know you're gonna break up with me.
385
00:17:31,947 --> 00:17:33,239
Okay? I'm not an idiot.
386
00:17:33,282 --> 00:17:34,740
I read your emails to your dad.
387
00:17:34,866 --> 00:17:35,741
Oh, my God.
- Have fun being
388
00:17:35,784 --> 00:17:37,285
so amazing and perfect until you die.
389
00:17:37,327 --> 00:17:40,454
And by the way, I'm talking really fast
because I still go to Andy's Coffee
390
00:17:40,497 --> 00:17:41,914
and I got a full punch card, bro!
391
00:17:49,423 --> 00:17:50,965
Good people make me insecure.
392
00:17:51,633 --> 00:17:54,176
When I'm around someone
who I think is "better" than me
393
00:17:54,219 --> 00:17:55,803
I try and drag them down to my level.
394
00:17:56,054 --> 00:17:59,599
That's why perfect Tahani
is like my kryptonite.
395
00:17:59,641 --> 00:18:02,393
Did it ever occur to you
that maybe Tahani
396
00:18:02,436 --> 00:18:05,646
has her own set of insecurities
and anxieties?
397
00:18:05,939 --> 00:18:06,814
Never.
398
00:18:07,232 --> 00:18:09,150
That woman has zero problems.
399
00:18:09,568 --> 00:18:12,194
Her biggest flaw is
that she makes a weird face
400
00:18:12,237 --> 00:18:15,865
when she sneezes and even that is
actually charming
401
00:18:16,074 --> 00:18:17,575
because she looks like a baby deer.
402
00:18:18,952 --> 00:18:21,078
The point is... you were right.
403
00:18:22,039 --> 00:18:24,498
About why I reacted to her the way I did.
404
00:18:24,666 --> 00:18:27,710
Well, maybe even admitting
that is an important step.
405
00:18:28,587 --> 00:18:30,046
And also, maybe don't listen to me.
406
00:18:30,088 --> 00:18:31,797
I would love not to listen to you.
407
00:18:32,049 --> 00:18:32,923
Wait, what?
408
00:18:32,966 --> 00:18:38,804
Basically, my life's work
is thirty-six hundred pages of garbage.
409
00:18:38,847 --> 00:18:40,806
Even, Michael couldn't understand it.
410
00:18:40,849 --> 00:18:42,892
So? What does Michael know?
411
00:18:42,934 --> 00:18:43,809
Everything.
412
00:18:43,935 --> 00:18:47,355
That's my point - he knows everything,
and it was too convoluted even for him.
413
00:18:47,939 --> 00:18:49,774
Michael does not know everything.
414
00:18:50,317 --> 00:18:52,652
Michael does not know
I'm not supposed to be here.
415
00:18:53,445 --> 00:18:55,029
You wrote four thousand pages
416
00:18:55,072 --> 00:18:58,199
on one of the most
complicated subjects in the world!
417
00:18:58,325 --> 00:19:01,077
I mean I used to get bored
halfway through writing a text message.
418
00:19:01,620 --> 00:19:02,703
Be proud!
419
00:19:08,085 --> 00:19:11,462
I want to broaden my horizons
and try new things and I will.
420
00:19:11,588 --> 00:19:13,798
But even though I might
have gotten lost in the weeds
421
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:18,427
I loved writing this book,
and I want to try again.
422
00:19:18,762 --> 00:19:19,679
So...
423
00:19:20,555 --> 00:19:22,515
will you be my advisor?
- Chidi
424
00:19:22,849 --> 00:19:25,142
all I want is for you to be happy.
425
00:19:25,811 --> 00:19:30,272
So if spending eternity
getting blunt feedback on your circular
426
00:19:30,315 --> 00:19:35,403
rambling ideas will make you happy,
then of course I will be your advisor!
427
00:19:35,445 --> 00:19:39,156
Let's throw that monstrosity
in the trash and start over!
428
00:19:40,909 --> 00:19:42,535
Aren't there maybe some parts
worth salvaging?
429
00:19:42,786 --> 00:19:45,538
Honestly, man, I don't even know.
I mean that thing is unreadable.
430
00:19:45,789 --> 00:19:49,417
I literally learned what headaches were
because that thing gave me a headache.
431
00:19:50,043 --> 00:19:50,918
Okay.
432
00:19:52,629 --> 00:19:55,131
There you go!
New beginnings! Well done.
433
00:20:18,155 --> 00:20:19,989
Oh! Hello, Eleanor.
434
00:20:20,031 --> 00:20:22,450
Hi. Sorry, I was just cleaning up.
435
00:20:23,577 --> 00:20:24,452
You okay?
436
00:20:25,412 --> 00:20:28,164
Do you want to talk about it?
437
00:20:28,290 --> 00:20:29,206
Desperately.
438
00:20:30,375 --> 00:20:31,417
It's Jianyu.
439
00:20:31,793 --> 00:20:33,627
I just can't seem to connect with him.
440
00:20:33,712 --> 00:20:35,379
I know that he took a vow of silence
441
00:20:35,881 --> 00:20:38,132
but he won't even talk to me,
his soulmate!
442
00:20:39,050 --> 00:20:40,509
And I adore talking.
443
00:20:40,844 --> 00:20:42,553
I know. You do.
444
00:20:42,596 --> 00:20:44,889
Eleanor, you don't know
what it's like to be in paradise
445
00:20:44,931 --> 00:20:47,349
and feel like there's something
just not quite right.
446
00:20:48,059 --> 00:20:49,351
Well...
447
00:20:50,437 --> 00:20:54,148
I may not know exactly
what you're feeling, but I do understand.
448
00:20:54,733 --> 00:20:57,610
And you deserve to be happy,
because...
449
00:20:59,070 --> 00:21:01,989
you are an impressive, thoughtful,
and special person.
450
00:21:04,201 --> 00:21:05,451
Not to mention...
451
00:21:07,037 --> 00:21:09,038
you have a rockin' bod.
452
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:12,958
I mean, Jianyu may be mute,
but he's not blind.
453
00:21:13,585 --> 00:21:17,797
You two belong here,
and you belong together.
454
00:21:17,964 --> 00:21:20,049
And, you have all of eternity
455
00:21:20,091 --> 00:21:22,426
so there's plenty of time
for things to change.
456
00:21:22,636 --> 00:21:25,930
Oh, thank you.
I really needed to hear that.
457
00:21:25,972 --> 00:21:26,847
Come here.
458
00:21:28,350 --> 00:21:30,935
Ugh! Of course your hugs
are amazing.
459
00:21:39,569 --> 00:21:42,404
Stupid ledge. No stairs.
460
00:21:43,740 --> 00:21:44,615
Hmm!
461
00:21:44,950 --> 00:21:46,992
Everyone here is really into hugging.
462
00:21:48,954 --> 00:21:50,830
Looks like someone learned something.
463
00:21:54,668 --> 00:21:58,879
Well... it's 'cause someone else
is a really good teacher.
464
00:22:02,133 --> 00:22:03,676
Eleanor! Hello.
465
00:22:03,718 --> 00:22:06,095
How are you, my dear, sweet "bestie?"
466
00:22:06,471 --> 00:22:08,264
Never better. What's up?
467
00:22:08,306 --> 00:22:10,641
Well, Janet has been acting
as my assistant.
468
00:22:10,684 --> 00:22:14,895
It... it's not what she was
designed to do. It didn't go "great."
469
00:22:14,938 --> 00:22:16,272
But now I'm back to normal.
470
00:22:16,523 --> 00:22:18,274
It turns out that the best Janet
471
00:22:18,316 --> 00:22:21,193
was the Janet
that was inside Janet all along.
472
00:22:21,403 --> 00:22:22,862
She was feeling a little lost
473
00:22:22,904 --> 00:22:26,532
so I gave her a self-help book
to restore her confidence.
474
00:22:26,783 --> 00:22:29,493
Now I'm living my truth
and creating my bliss.
475
00:22:29,536 --> 00:22:31,745
Yes. But anyway, um... look
476
00:22:31,788 --> 00:22:34,331
Michael asked me
if I would serve as his assistant
477
00:22:34,374 --> 00:22:37,334
but I'd quite like to focus
on my relationship with Jianyu.
478
00:22:37,919 --> 00:22:40,963
So, I recommended you for the job.
479
00:22:41,089 --> 00:22:45,342
Eleanor, you and I could work side by side
480
00:22:45,385 --> 00:22:48,178
to figure out what's going wrong
with this neighbourhood.
481
00:22:48,471 --> 00:22:49,346
Will you help me?
482
00:22:50,307 --> 00:22:51,515
How could I say no?
483
00:22:51,558 --> 00:22:53,225
Hurrah! Hurrah!
- Hurrah!
484
00:22:57,439 --> 00:22:58,397
What now?
485
00:23:06,907 --> 00:23:11,785
Relax, Eleanor.
You sent this to yourself.
486
00:23:11,828 --> 00:23:15,664
This is your own guilt,
manifesting itself.
487
00:23:17,375 --> 00:23:18,500
I've been waiting for you.
488
00:23:19,711 --> 00:23:22,129
Jianyu? You talk now?
489
00:23:25,467 --> 00:23:27,176
You sent me
these threatening notes?
490
00:23:27,218 --> 00:23:28,510
What the fork, man?
491
00:23:28,553 --> 00:23:29,970
Some Buddhist monk you are!
492
00:23:30,305 --> 00:23:32,431
You don't belong here. Admit it.
493
00:23:35,060 --> 00:23:37,603
Okay, you're right. I don't belong here.
494
00:23:37,646 --> 00:23:39,897
Michael made a mistake.
But I'm trying, dude.
495
00:23:39,940 --> 00:23:44,068
I'm really trying to be a good person,
and I think I'm changing, for the better.
496
00:23:44,110 --> 00:23:46,695
So just please, please don't rat me out.
497
00:23:47,948 --> 00:23:50,491
Don't worry. I won't.
498
00:23:50,825 --> 00:23:52,451
Because I'm not supposed
to be here either!
499
00:23:52,744 --> 00:23:55,371
I don't know how I got here,
I have no idea what's going on
500
00:23:55,413 --> 00:23:56,872
and I'm freaking out, homey!
501
00:23:57,165 --> 00:23:59,291
You gotta help me! I'm scared!
502
00:24:01,628 --> 00:24:02,503
What?