1
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,021
We're finally headed
to the Good Place.

2
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,064
It's the "me" of places.

3
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:26,109
I got in. I can say stuff like that again.

4
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:28,319
Are you sure
we're going the right way, Janet?

5
00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,697
Well, I've never been
to the Good Place before.

6
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:32,991
But, yes, I am sure.

7
00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:34,701
How?

8
00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:35,744
Because...

9
00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:38,747
it feels like I'm on my way home.

10
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,292
Flying puppy!

11
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:44,878
You're almost there.
Just a little further.

12
00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:46,171
Flying puppies?

13
00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:47,505
Dang it, Michael.

14
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,466
Why didn't you think of that
for your neighborhood?

15
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,509
These guys are good.

16
00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:09,027
I feel just like
Dorothy when she lands in Oz,

17
00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:11,863
excited, incredulous,

18
00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:14,324
much taller than everyone else around me.

19
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,618
What's everyone wanna do first?

20
00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:18,161
Racing go-karts with monkeys.

21
00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:19,245
Sure.

22
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:21,331
It's my lifelong dream.

23
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,541
Monkeys are the ideal go-kart opponents.

24
00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:26,878
They're funny enough to give the finger,
but not smart enough to win.

25
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,174
- Does that mean me?
- You're a Good Janet.

26
00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,843
We're in the Good Place.
I don't know who else it would mean.

27
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,678
Okay. No pressure.

28
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,639
I was born to do this. Not born.

29
00:01:41,392 --> 00:01:42,393
Okay.

30
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,479
So, I now know all the information
about the Good Place.

31
00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:46,523
In a nutshell, it slaps.

32
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:47,690
First thing to tell you,

33
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:51,986
humans can't see the Good Place all at
once or their brains will be scrambled.

34
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:55,782
Cool. Maybe I'll finally get
some of those squigglies on my brain.

35
00:01:55,865 --> 00:01:58,118
Doctors said my brain's
as smooth as an egg.

36
00:01:58,201 --> 00:02:00,495
You all need to wait out here for a bit,
so you can adjust.

37
00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:03,164
When you're ready,
you will be honored with a welcome gala,

38
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:06,668
magically planned by the Good Place,
based on your personalities.

39
00:02:06,751 --> 00:02:10,004
Like the targeted Instagram ad of parties.

40
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:12,966
You know, I bought the coolest sunglasses
from one of those ads.

41
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:13,883
Look.

42
00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:15,885
- Whoa!

43
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:18,179
-It's like I'm inside the Internet.

44
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:19,681
Okay.

45
00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:20,640
Could we just keep moving?

46
00:02:20,723 --> 00:02:21,891
You look a little pale.

47
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,351
Did you get sick from the hot air balloon?

48
00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:25,270
I bet if you throw up
it'll just be butterflies or something.

49
00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:26,229
I'm fine.

50
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:27,355
I just, um...

51
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:29,774
I don't belong here.

52
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:33,444
There's no telling what will happen
to a demon who steps foot in this place.

53
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:36,573
Promise me, if I'm vaporized,
you guys just keep having fun.

54
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:40,660
Oh, my goodness,
that chime is so soothing.

55
00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:42,871
Feels like my brain is being massaged...

56
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,455
- ...by a baby deer.
- Oh, boy.

57
00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:47,584
What if that's some sort of demon alarm,
to alert the cops that I'm here?

58
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:50,170
- You want me to hold your weed?
- I don't have weed.

59
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:52,338
Oh...

60
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:53,840
Wait a minute.

61
00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:55,758
Oh, yeah, okay, now, I do.

62
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:56,926
Take this.

63
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,303
They're ready
for you to move inside.

64
00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,013
The Good Place Committee
is waiting for us.

65
00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:05,476
Oh, man, look at this place.

66
00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:09,063
Karlie Kloss did like me.

67
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,189
I knew it.

68
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:11,649
- So, about this party...
- Yeah.

69
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,234
Is everyone in the Good Place invited?

70
00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:15,028
Like, is Aristotle going to be there?

71
00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:18,615
Sorry, Chidi, Aristotle's in
the Bad Place. He defended slavery.

72
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,074
- Socrates?
- No.

73
00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:21,743
Too annoying. Very loud chewer.

74
00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:23,661
- Plato?
- Slavery again.

75
00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:24,954
Ooh, you know who is here?

76
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,665
Hypatia of Alexandria. Do you know her?

77
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:28,875
Hypatia?

78
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,085
- Of Alexandria?
- That's right.

79
00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:33,338
Uh, yeah, I know her.

80
00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:37,842
Hypatia. I'm gonna ask her
so many questions

81
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:39,719
pertaining to grand ideas
about the universe.

82
00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:40,678
Like... "Why?"

83
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:44,015
Oh, oh, and also... "How?"

84
00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:45,058
Ooh!

85
00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:46,809
Welcome to the Good Place, everyone.

86
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,603
Michael, so happy you made it.

87
00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:49,979
You look radiant.

88
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:53,650
You have the calming yet authoritative
presence of a bomb-sniffing dog.

89
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,026
I'd just like to say

90
00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:58,154
thank you so much
for letting me be here with my friends.

91
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:01,115
I know it's unorthodox
for someone like myself

92
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:03,743
to visit the Good Place,
but it's just so wonderful.

93
00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:06,829
And I don't have any weed on me,
so no need for the cops.

94
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,499
Michael, Michael,
you and your friends are heroes,

95
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:11,417
and you're more than welcome here.

96
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:13,586
In fact, we have some very exciting news.

97
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,380
While the rest of you get settled in,

98
00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:17,799
we wanna give Michael
a swearing-in ceremony,

99
00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:20,218
so he can become
an official Good Place architect.

100
00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:24,055
Oh, my goodness.

101
00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:25,640
Michael, please, follow us.

102
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:31,020
Holy fork, that is a soothing chime.

103
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:34,691
It really is the most incredible chime
I've ever heard.

104
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,442
And that is coming
from someone whose godfather

105
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:38,403
is the most famous clock in the world.

106
00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:43,032
- Is Big Ben somehow your godfather?
- Mmm-hmm.

107
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,367
That sound means...

108
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,286
it's party time.

109
00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:51,499
When you walk through,
the event space will transform

110
00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:55,044
into a party perfectly tailored
to your essences.

111
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:58,256
Let's link arms and walk through together.

112
00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:07,390
Weird.

113
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:08,391
Whoa!

114
00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:12,270
This is the Jacksonville SuperSuites
hotel ballroom where I had my prom

115
00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:13,521
and also traffic court.

116
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:16,190
But this has to be my party,

117
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:20,194
because that's the bedpan
that Stone Cold Steve Austin

118
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:24,407
used to beat up Vince McMahon
in 1998.

119
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:27,076
It was a classic moment. Don't judge me.

120
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,411
I'm so sorry, guys.

121
00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:32,165
The Good Place uses your life experiences
to plan the perfect party,

122
00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:34,375
but it's only designed
for one person at a time.

123
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,252
When you walked in as a group,
it became...

124
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,338
A mish-mash of all four of us.

125
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:45,803
It's perfect.

126
00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:48,723
Um, no, it's not, Eleanor,

127
00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:51,350
because there's no go-kart track,
and no monkeys.

128
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,186
No offense, but you're being
a real smooth-brain right now.

129
00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:54,353
See those green doors?

130
00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:58,775
You can use them to visit
any time or place, real or imagined.

131
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:00,318
Just think about where you wanna go,

132
00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:03,112
and what you wanna do,
and walk on through.

133
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,614
So, one could walk amongst the dinosaurs,

134
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:08,451
or witness the very first production of
<i>Hamlet</i> at the Globe Theater.

135
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:11,829
I'mma go Tokyo Drift with monkeys.
See you in a thousand years.

136
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:14,999
Do you mind if I go find Hypatia?

137
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,918
I promise it's strictly platonic.

138
00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:20,088
- Technically, Neoplatonic.
- Whoops.

139
00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:23,674
Forget I made that joke and come with me.
I'm so nervous to meet her.

140
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:26,427
I need someone cool there to change
the subject if I say something dumb.

141
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:27,720
Sure. Gimme one sec.

142
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,098
Hey, Tahani, this room is filled

143
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:33,059
with some of the most interesting people
that ever lived.

144
00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:35,228
Chat them up, learn about their lives,

145
00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:38,731
then meet back here
so that we can make fun of them.

146
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:44,070
Eleanor Shellstrop, I have been training
for this day my entire life.

147
00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:48,032
I'm so honored by this gesture.

148
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:51,077
This feels right.
This will be my new purpose.

149
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:52,912
Everything's falling into place.

150
00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:56,082
Great. Let's get to it.
Just put on this ceremonial robe.

151
00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:59,961
Boy, do you have
the shoulders for a robe.

152
00:07:00,044 --> 00:07:01,963
- Oh.
- Just sign this scroll.

153
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:04,966
I've never signed my name before.

154
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:08,136
What signature type to choose?

155
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:09,929
"Doctor Blob." Or, no...

156
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:12,348
"Athlete who doesn't really care
about the kid."

157
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:13,850
Oh, wait, no...

158
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,727
"Middle school girl
with crush on Zac Efron."

159
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:21,941
That way,
I can put a little heart over the "I."

160
00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:25,319
Perfect. And here is your official medal.

161
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:27,738
Now I know what
Mary Lou Retton feels like.

162
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:28,656
And great.

163
00:07:28,739 --> 00:07:30,950
Now, you are officially
in charge of the Good Place.

164
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:33,828
- I'm sorry, "in charge"?
- Yup. You're the boss now.

165
00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:37,540
That was all legally binding,
and we all quit, effective immediately.

166
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:40,251
That is irreversible,
so it's all your problem now.

167
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:42,962
Don't try to find us.
No take-backs, okay, bye-bye!

168
00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:44,881
Hurry, move, move! Go, go, go!

169
00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:52,889
Hello? Fellow Good Placemen?

170
00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:55,725
Anyone in here?

171
00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:59,562
"Ideas for improving the Good Place." Oh.

172
00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:01,314
"Music you can eat."

173
00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:02,356
Oh, boy.

174
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:06,611
"Giant mini-donuts,
not just regular donuts.

175
00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:08,112
Dave will explain."

176
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:12,283
Dave? Can you explain?

177
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:18,122
Um, hi, are you...
are you Hypatia of Alexandria?

178
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:20,041
Yep. How's it hangin'?

179
00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:21,792
It's hangin' really well.

180
00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:27,632
Um, I gotta say, I was expecting you
to be, still, you know... ancient Greek.

181
00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:30,593
Oh! Well, no, we sort of stay current
in this place.

182
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:32,845
What are the big things
from Earth recently?

183
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:37,517
Um, the Industrial Revolution,
Manhattan Project, "Gangnam Style..."

184
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,518
I feel like I get it.

185
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:39,810
- It's really her!
- Yeah.

186
00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:42,688
I can just tell, somehow.
It's Hypatia of Alexandria.

187
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,815
I know, babe. Yes, it is.

188
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:48,402
Hi, sorry, I'm Eleanor.
This exuberant weirdo is Chidi.

189
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:49,612
We're new in town.

190
00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:51,948
First question,
how do you get the "of" in your name?

191
00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:54,742
Is it where you hung out the most?

192
00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:58,746
Am I Eleanor of
the Cheesecake Factory Bar?

193
00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:01,999
Also, is it "Hy-pay-sha" or "Hy-pat-ia"?

194
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:06,420
Or in the ancient Greek, "Who-put-tia"?
There's a lot of fun debate about this.

195
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:07,964
You know what? Just call me Patty.

196
00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:13,719
Okay. Well, Patty, I'm a huge fan.

197
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:16,597
I had a poster of you
on my wall in high school.

198
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:19,600
Actually, it was just
a poster of Trinity from <i>The Matrix.</i>

199
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,769
But that's how I imagined you would look.
Because you're so cool.

200
00:09:21,852 --> 00:09:24,146
Is she the reason you got beat up so much?

201
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,273
She's one of them!

202
00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:26,732
Wanna get a milkshake?

203
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:29,527
I haven't been around newbies in a while.
You're a little intense.

204
00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:31,404
Let's get a milkshake. Yeah.

205
00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:34,532
They make a milkshake here
that's made out of actual stardust.

206
00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:35,533
It's pretty good.

207
00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:38,995
Okay. Yeah. Getting milkshakes with Patty.

208
00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:39,996
Yeah.

209
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,414
But can I ask you some questions first?

210
00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:44,083
You were a follower of Plotinus,

211
00:09:44,166 --> 00:09:46,460
who claimed that
contemplation of our ultimate reality...

212
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:49,005
Wait, wait, wait, are you...

213
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:53,926
What's it called, a think-book-man? Um...

214
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:56,178
A think-read-book-man?

215
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,263
A philosopher? Yes.

216
00:09:57,346 --> 00:10:00,766
Sorry, it's been so long,
my brain is foggy.

217
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:04,729
Listen carefully
before I forget how to say this.

218
00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:08,107
You gotta help us. We are so screwed.

219
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:10,610
We are?

220
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:14,780
Hello! I'm Tahani Al-Jamil.

221
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:17,575
I'm Paltibaal. Welcome to paradise.

222
00:10:17,658 --> 00:10:19,410
So, what's your story?

223
00:10:19,493 --> 00:10:22,538
Did you cure something?
Or invent something?

224
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,957
I helped the poor in ancient Phoenicia.

225
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,626
Excellent.

226
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:29,086
I once had a SoulCycle instructor
named Phoenicia.

227
00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:33,382
How did you die?

228
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,551
I got a cut on my hand.

229
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:39,764
The year was 2491 BC,
so that's pretty much all it took.

230
00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:40,806
You got a cut

231
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:44,352
or you drank water that wasn't hot enough,
and then, boom, dead.

232
00:10:45,227 --> 00:10:47,021
I would've killed for a vaccine.

233
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:48,064
Any vaccine.

234
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:51,609
It's crazy that you guys
just don't like them now.

235
00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:54,904
So, what's your favorite part
about living here?

236
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:56,697
I mean, it's perfect.

237
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:59,575
We're all having orgasms
literally all the time.

238
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:00,951
I died a virgin,

239
00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:03,120
so that's real crazy.

240
00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:05,706
Okay.

241
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:08,376
It's so nice to get to work alongside
another Good Janet!

242
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,044
Yes, it is.

243
00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:11,712
Janet, can I get a Coke?

244
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:14,465
No, a water.

245
00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:16,842
No, a lamp.

246
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:18,928
No, a cat.

247
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:22,973
So, people just ask you for things
with no rhyme or reason?

248
00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:26,185
Yes! And then I get them for them.
It's great.

249
00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:28,437
Can I get a spaceship?

250
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,565
No, one huge Junior Mint.

251
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:33,818
No, a Coke.

252
00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:40,699
Wow! This milkshake is incredible.

253
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:43,285
Right? This is how I spend
most of my time.

254
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,330
Sitting in beautiful places,
drinking my milkshake,

255
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,082
slowly peeing into my pants,

256
00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:51,377
which instantly evaporates
and leaves no trace.

257
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:52,586
- Sounds fun.
- Mmm.

258
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:54,422
But didn't you want to tell us
how we're all screwed?

259
00:11:55,297 --> 00:11:57,425
Ah! Damn it.

260
00:11:57,508 --> 00:12:00,010
This is the exact problem.

261
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:02,596
On paper, this is paradise.

262
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,890
All of your desires and needs are met.

263
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:06,142
But it's infinite.

264
00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:12,523
And when perfection goes on forever,
you become this glassy-eyed, mush person.

265
00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:17,319
But... no, because... no.

266
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:18,904
Because... Patty, no!

267
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:22,533
Yes, I'm telling you.
I used to be cool, man.

268
00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:25,369
I studied so much... things!

269
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:29,582
Art and music, and, uh...

270
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:32,168
the one with the number... piles?

271
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:35,296
Where I'd be like, "Two!"
And you'd be like, "Six!"

272
00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:36,755
- Math?
- Yes.

273
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:41,427
And then I came here,
where time stretched out forever,

274
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:44,513
and every second of my existence
was amazing,

275
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,433
but my brain became this big dumb blob.

276
00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:49,602
So, we finally make it into
the Good Place,

277
00:12:49,685 --> 00:12:51,604
and now we're just
going to become zombies?

278
00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:53,939
Why haven't you told anyone about this?

279
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:55,941
- About what?
- Dude.

280
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:57,610
Damn it!

281
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:01,071
We have to find the others, right now.

282
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:04,658
- Look, there's math on my shirt.
- Come on.

283
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:06,452
Is it an "S" or a math?

284
00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:08,245
Have you seen Eleanor and Chidi?

285
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:09,997
There's something
very wrong with this party.

286
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:13,709
And it's not just that the caviar
is being served on top of Jell-O shots.

287
00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:18,964
We are the first new people here
in 500 years, and no one seems to care.

288
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,717
I know, even the Good Janets
are kinda weird.

289
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,302
They're like, "Hi, there!"

290
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,639
When I do it, it's cool,
but when they do it, it's lame.

291
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:30,309
Hey, guys. Having fun? Great.
So, little update.

292
00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:32,561
Um, the Good Place is a disaster.

293
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:36,148
Everyone here is a happiness zombie,
and no one is doing anything about it,

294
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,150
because by the time
they realize it's happening,

295
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:39,527
everyone is too far gone to care.

296
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:40,986
Oh, dear!

297
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,655
Oh, hello, I'm Tahani.

298
00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:45,282
Hi, I'm Milkshake.
Do you want a milkshake?

299
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:48,786
Okay. We need to tell someone before we're
too zonked out to remember why we're here.

300
00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:50,162
We need to find the Committee.

301
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:53,165
The Committee is me.
I am Committee. It me.

302
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,333
What?

303
00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:57,211
They tricked me,
and put me in charge of the Good Place,

304
00:13:57,294 --> 00:13:58,837
and then literally ran away.

305
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:03,384
And then what happened, the Sorting Hat
put you in Hufflepuff? Roasted.

306
00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:05,594
Come on, I know we have problems,
but you can't expect me to ignore this.

307
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,263
-Hang on. We're in paradise.

308
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:09,557
Surely some people here
are enjoying themselves.

309
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,267
Hey, guys. I'm back.

310
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,435
Go-karting with monkeys
got boring really fast.

311
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,395
It did?

312
00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:15,938
- Damn it.
- Oh, no!

313
00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:21,652
Jason, your lifelong dream
got old that quickly?

314
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:24,780
I mean, monkeys in go-karts
was fun for a while.

315
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,031
Then I was like,

316
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:28,826
"You know what would be cool?
Hippos in go-karts!"

317
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:32,621
And I was like,
"Yo, what about Draculas with jet-packs?"

318
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,164
I did 50 combos,

319
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:37,501
and then I just kinda wanted to
hang out with you guys again.

320
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,753
Okay, that's it, in a nutshell.

321
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:43,132
'Cause you get here and you realize
that anything is possible

322
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,801
and you do everything
and then you're done.

323
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,887
But you still have infinity left.

324
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:52,391
This place kills fun, and passion,
and excitement and love,

325
00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:54,852
till all you have left are milkshakes.

326
00:14:54,935 --> 00:14:57,479
The Good Place Committee
obviously knew about this.

327
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:58,939
Why didn't they try and solve it?

328
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:01,066
They did. They tried everything.

329
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:04,028
Just last week they made
the unicorns bigger,

330
00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:07,865
and then they gave them more horns,
and then they made them chubbier.

331
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:12,703
I mean, really, they just made
a bunch of weird, fluffy rhinos.

332
00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:15,623
The Committee members aren't human,
so they couldn't understand the problem.

333
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,249
The second I showed up,

334
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:20,461
they jumped off this sinking ship
and made me captain.

335
00:15:20,544 --> 00:15:21,921
Well, I'm not giving up.

336
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:25,925
We worked too hard
and went through too much.

337
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:27,718
I'm not gonna just sit back

338
00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:31,388
and turn into some slack-jawed,
sweatpant-wearing orgasm machine!

339
00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:32,348
Oh, my God!

340
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:34,308
I'm describing
my dream existence like it's bad.

341
00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:36,185
What is wrong with this place?

342
00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:37,937
We just redesigned this system,

343
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:40,564
and soon millions of people
are going to start pouring in,

344
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:43,734
thinking they're in paradise,
only to become a joyless husk.

345
00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:47,279
It's Coachella!
We've invented Cosmic Coachella!

346
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:48,739
Oh, we have to fix this.

347
00:15:48,822 --> 00:15:52,785
What if we do what I did to you
in the original neighborhood?

348
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:55,079
Erase their memory every once in a while.

349
00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:58,123
That way,
paradise would seem fresh and new.

350
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:00,417
You were doing that to torture us.

351
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:03,170
Actual paradise
can't use the same playbook as hell.

352
00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:06,131
Okay, well, I have a solution.

353
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:09,301
Remember what I said to you,
when you were going through your

354
00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:12,096
"midlife crisis, one earring,
red convertible" phase?

355
00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:14,098
- "You look so stupid"?
- After that.

356
00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:18,727
You said that, "Every human is
a little bit sad all the time

357
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,521
because you know you're gonna die.

358
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:24,733
But that knowledge
is what gives life meaning."

359
00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:31,198
The way to restore meaning to the people
in the Good Place is to let them leave.

360
00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:34,702
Leave and go where? This is the last...

361
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:36,328
Oh.

362
00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:40,541
Can we just do that?

363
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:43,877
You're the head of the Good Place now.

364
00:16:44,878 --> 00:16:48,966
Seems to me you can do whatever you want.

365
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,469
Where is Michael?

366
00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:56,306
Okay.

367
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:01,520
Nothing to do but announce the big change.

368
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:06,442
Whatever happens, it's cool, my babies.
It's very cool.

369
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,529
Did you smoke that weed, bud?

370
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:14,366
I did.

371
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:17,703
I was kinda freaked out,
so I smoked some grass, but now I'm great.

372
00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:20,873
Let's change the afterlife, and then...

373
00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:22,374
-Taco Bell.

374
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:26,170
Oh, baby!

375
00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:27,796
Okay, I'm gonna do the talking.

376
00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:31,133
Hi, everyone.
Can I have your attention, please?

377
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:33,635
Hi, my name's Eleanor Shellstrop.

378
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:39,725
Hope you're having fun at our
Flor-izona British Library Extravaganza.

379
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:44,730
I guess you don't really
have fun anywhere, which is the point.

380
00:17:45,814 --> 00:17:48,233
It doesn't seem like
this is paradise for you.

381
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:51,695
You've basically been
on a never-ending vacation,

382
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:55,365
and vacations are only special
because they end.

383
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:57,576
So, we have an idea.

384
00:17:57,659 --> 00:18:00,871
We're going to set up a new kind of door,
um, somewhere peaceful.

385
00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:04,792
So that when you feel happy,
and satisfied and complete

386
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:06,335
and you want to leave
the Good Place for good,

387
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:11,381
you can just walk through it
and your time in the universe will end.

388
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:17,012
You don't have to go through it,
if you don't want to, but you can.

389
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:20,432
And hopefully,
knowing you don't have to be here forever

390
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,101
will help you feel happier while you are.

391
00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:24,853
What will happen when we go through it?

392
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:28,440
Well, we don't really know, exactly.

393
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:33,487
All we know is it will be peaceful,
and your journey will be over.

394
00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:36,156
You led great lives.

395
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,158
You earned your place here.

396
00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:41,203
So, stay here as long as you like.

397
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:44,915
Use the green doors to see and do

398
00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:48,544
every single thing you want to see and do.

399
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,338
And when you're ready,

400
00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:56,218
walk through one last door
and be at peace.

401
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,930
Does that sound good?

402
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:08,147
Seems like they're into it.

403
00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:19,533
It's DJ Music, make some noise!

404
00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:20,993
That's my boyfriend.

405
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:24,329
I'm glad we'll be able to
enjoy things again.

406
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:27,499
- Art, math, philosophy, like you used to.
- Yeah, me, too.

407
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:33,255
I've been dreaming of ending the ennui
of this eternal existence for a long time.

408
00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:36,425
But now,
I think I'll stick around for a while.

409
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:41,096
It felt good to make brain words.

410
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,974
Still mushy. I'll get it back.

411
00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:45,893
We're lucky we ran into you.

412
00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:46,977
It saved us.

413
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,189
That's not what saved you.

414
00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:53,650
- Hey!
- Hey!

415
00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:56,653
- It was your friendships.
- Yeah, no, I got it.

416
00:19:57,237 --> 00:19:59,698
Sorry. Still not sharp.

417
00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:05,621
Kept most of it the same.

418
00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:08,498
Even made myself an office nearby.

419
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:14,087
Jason, I... I kinda took a wild guess...

420
00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:18,967
I finally get to accomplish
my goal of living in a Stupid Nick's!

421
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,969
I know anything you do
for eternity gets boring,

422
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,639
but I swear,
I will never get sick of wings.

423
00:20:24,681 --> 00:20:27,100
Well, I'll see you all tomorrow.

424
00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:29,686
And every tomorrow after that.

425
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:32,773
You know, Michael, at the end of the day,
you were right.

426
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,902
Everything is fine.

427
00:20:54,878 --> 00:21:00,217
This is what we've been
looking for since the day we met... time.

428
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:03,553
I guess that's what
the Good Place really is.

429
00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:04,721
It's not even a "place," really.

430
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:09,768
It's just having enough time
with the people you love.

431
00:21:09,851 --> 00:21:10,894
You're right.

432
00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:14,815
And we have as long as we want.

433
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:18,777
If you keep hogging this blanket,

434
00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:21,488
I'm probably gonna walk through that door
in three days, though.

435
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,577
- I'll miss you.